the carillon The University of Regina Students’ Newspaper since 1962
Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9 2013 | Volume 55, Issue 15 | carillonregina.com
cover ‘Tis the season! For talking about how shitty Regina is. Yearly, to counteract the feel good nature Prairie Dog’s “Best of Regina” feature, the Carillon produces a worst of feature. Because, really, it’s Regina. Happy Winter Break, friends, see you in January.
the staff editor-in-chief
dietrich neu carilloneic@gmail.com business manager shaadie musleh business@carillonregina.com production manager julia dima production@carillonregina.com copy editor michelle jones copyeditor@carillonregina.com news editor taouba khelifa carillonnewseditor@gmail.com a&c editor paul bogdan aandc@carillonregina.com sports editor autumn mcdowell sports@carillonregina.com op-ed editor edward dodd op-ed@carillonregina.com visual editor arthur ward graphics@carillonregina.com ad manager neil adams advertising@carillonregina.com technical coordinator jonathan hamelin technical@carillonregina.com news writer a&c writer sports writer photographers olivia mason tenielle bogdan
arts & culture
Moment of silence. 5 On Dec. 6, 1989, Marc Lépine walked into Montreal's Ecole Polytechnique, and shot and killed 14 women, before killing himself. 23 years later, and the scars of the Montreal massacre still run deep across the country.
Cheap gifts. 6 Christmas is about being with those you care about. No, wait. It’s about buying shit for people because that’s how people communicate. But on a student budget, being a big spender isn’t an option. We show you how to fulfill your capitalist duties on a budget.
sports
op-ed
What happens in B.C... 12 The men’s hockey team headed to Vancouver last weekend to close the 2012 season against UBC. After a four hour delay in the Regina airport, it’s a wonder the team is still alive. What will be even more surprising is if no one gets suspended after the trip.
Ba humbug. 19 So, apparently Santa Clause isn’t real. And telling kids that he is real is screwing up their future perception of reality. There’s not a Santa, huh? Excuse me. I need a moment.
kristen mcewen sophie long kyle leitch braden dupuis
marc messett emily wright
contributors this week dustin christianson michael chmielewski paige kreutzwieser taryn riemer iryn tushabe jake stinson robyn tocker jon neher
the paper THE CARILLON BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Dietrich Neu, Kent Peterson, Edward Dodd, Ed Kapp, Tim Jones, Madeline Kotzer, Anna Weber 227 Riddell Centre University of Regina - 3737 Wascana Parkway Regina, SK, Canada, S4S 0A2 www.carillonregina.com Ph: (306) 586-8867 Fax: (306) 586-7422 Printed by Transcontinental Publishing Inc., Saskatoon
The Carillon welcomes contributions to its pages. Correspondence can be mailed, e-mailed, or dropped off in person. Please include your name, address and telephone number on all letters to the editor. Only the author’s name, title/position (if applicable) and city will be published. Names may be withheld upon request at the discretion of the Carillon. Letters should be no more then 350 words and may be edited for space, clarity, accuracy and vulgarity. The Carillon is a wholly autonomous organization with no affiliation with the University of Regina Students’ Union. Opinions expressed in the pages of the Carillon are expressly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the Carillon Newspaper Inc. Opinions expressed in advertisements appearing in the Carillon are those of the advertisers and not necessarily of The Carillon Newspaper Inc. or its staff. The Carillon is published no less than 11 times each semester during the fall and winter semesters and periodically throughout the summer. The Carillon is published by The Carillon Newspaper Inc., a non–profit corporation.
the manifesto
In keeping with our reckless, devil-may-care image, our office has absolutely no concrete information on the Carillon’s formative years readily available. What follows is the story that’s been passed down from editor to editor for over forty years.
In the late 1950s, the University of Regina planned the construction of several new buildings on the campus grounds. One of these proposed buildings was a bell tower on the academic green. If you look out on the academic green today, the first thing you’ll notice is that it has absolutely nothing resembling a bell tower. The University never got a bell tower, but what it did get was the Carillon, a newspaper that serves as a symbolic bell tower on campus, a loud and clear voice belonging to each and every student. Illegitimi non carborundum.
news
photos news Taouba Khelif a&c Tenielle Bogdan sports Reuters
op-ed Edward Dodd cover Arthur Ward
news
News Editor: Taouba Khelifa carillonnewseditor@gmail.com the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
Between faculty and administration, where does freedom stand? taouba khelifa news editor For the past two issues, the Carillon has been covering the growing concerns amongst professors about possible changes to academic freedom at the University of Regina. As part of a 2011 “Statement on Academic Freedom” released by the Association of Universities and Colleges of Canada, the definition of academic freedom was revised to include a “shorter and clearer” statement of the “responsibilities associated with academic freedom,” said the AUCC. What is of much concern to faculty and students, however, is the failure of the AUCC’s statement to recognize the full rights given to professors under academic freedom - particularly the right of professors to criticize their own institutions, and the right of professors to extramural speech and action (commenting outside of their field of expertise). The University of Regina Faculty Association (URFA) - the body representing professors and academics on campus - is currently in the midst of collective bargaining with the U of R and a hotly debated subject is the proposed changes to academic freedom. Currently, URFA’s collective agreement includes the Canadian Association of University Teachers (CAUT) definition of academic freedom, which protects the overall rights of academics to criticize their institutions, and freely teach and participate in public service. Many academics worry that if URFA’s collective agreement is changed to reflect AUCC’s definition of academic freedom, then the very core of the university’s foundation will be in danger. For its last issue of the semester, the Carillon sat down with University of Regina president, Vianne Timmons, to discuss some of the growing concerns around academic freedom on campus. The Carillon: Why did you endorse the AUCC’s “Statement on Academic Freedom”?
Timmons: AUCC is the association that represents all the universities and colleges in Canada to the presidents. I wasn’t on any working committee on this topic, but a [number] of my colleagues were, and I know that they did rigorous and extensive studying, looking internationally, studying what’s going on, to come up with the statement. I felt that the statement was a fair one on academic freedom, so I, as president of the University of Regina, as part of AUCC did endorse it.
The Carillon: From our understanding, professors are already covered by CAUT’s definition of academic freedom, why endorse another?
Taouba Khelifa
Timmons: I don’t think they’re covered by CAUT. CAUT has a statement on academic freedom, as does AUCC. What they are covered by though, our professors, is by our collective agreement. If you look in our collective agreement right now, there is a statement on academic freedom that’s agreed to by both parties. If you note, it says that the “University shall defend the academic freedom of members from interference from any source.” So, I uphold our collective agreement.
labour practice. But, there is no intent by the university to constrain our professors’ expression. I mean, a lot of the [AUCC’s changes] are fine tuning in the language. If you read both [the AUCC and CAUT definitions], and if you look at the two versions, it’s about interpretation of language on both sides. And I think you can read both and support both, at the same time.
Timmons: There’s a freedom of expression in academic freedom, and CAUT makes no distinction between the two, and AUCC is trying to make more of a distinction between the two. I would say that, and I would hope my record would show it, there has been no professor on this campus - during my tenure here as president, and I think before my tenure here as president - who’s ever been censored for freedom of expression or speaking on academic freedom issues. And as I said before, that will not happen.
Timmons: That is not my interpretation of the AUCC. Just by the fact of our governance structure, that faculty, they really govern our academic endeavors through the Executive of Council of this University. There is no program that can improve without faculty governance. It’s embedded in our structure, and there’s no attempt to change or modify that in any university [in] Canada that I can see, or heard of. It’s embedded in the tenants of a university - that collegial governance.
The Carillon: Would you say then, that the definition provided by AUCC does in fact, because of the collective agreement, cover the omission that CAUT and other academics worry about?
The Carillon: Some argue that if the AUCC statement is implemented into the collective agreement, then the path the University will take is that path of censorship. What would you say to that?
Timmons: The collective agreement is presently under negotiation, and I can’t speak on the negotiations, that would be unfair
The Carillon: One of the missing points in the AUCC’s definition of academic freedom is the right of academics to extramural speech and action. There is concern that with this missing, academics will not be able to criticize their administrations or participate in the governance at the University.
The Carillon: Some academics make the point that as universities become more corporatized, and as funding from government decreases, the AUCC statement is a way to silence professors and students from engaging with and criticizing university administration, so that universities can freely change the institutional structure of the academy to please private and corporate funders, without
having to worry about professors’ and students’ thoughts or concerns. What are your thoughts on this?
Timmons: It is the job of a university to be autonomous, and at times we support our government, at times we critique our government. I know that AUCC’s intent is not to get [embedded] with government. That’s not why they [wrote the] academic freedom statement. What they want to do is say “academic freedom is essential and important to universities.” And they believe that...[AUCC] said that they did it because they wanted to try to get a collective statement from all the universities that they could all adopt. An AUCC statement is a collective statement, and universities can modify their own accordingly, and that’s part of the discussions around the collective agreement: what does that modification mean? The Carillon: Before this 2011 statement, what was the connection between university administration and academic freedom? Was there a governing body on academic freedom?
Timmons: No, and there is no governing body on academic freedom. And if a university chastised or sanctioned a faculty member because of academic freedom, then CAUT would be the sanction against that university. We have a process in place that is laid out. As far as I know, the U of R has never been sanctioned for impeding a faculty member’s ability to speak out. Since I’ve been here, faculty have critiqued administration, and I have publicly said that faculty have every right to critique
administration. I’ll use the Project Hero as an example. Sixteen professors wrote an open letter to the newspaper critiquing administration’s decision to sign on to Project Hero. I went public, and I will always go public, and say that is their absolute right to critique administration, and administration needs to weigh that, and take that into consideration in either reviewing the decision or upholding the decision. The Carillon: Some professors have said that university presidents should not have visions for the university, that the vision of a university is created by academics and students, not by presidents. How do you respond to that?
Timmons: Well I’m an academic. That to me is very interesting, and I’ll use the strategic plan [as an example]. Our strategic plan, when we formulated it, was not done by me. I didn’t write the strategic plan and give it to the university. I set up an inclusive consultative process that the strategic plan emerged through. But, I’m a member of the academy, and I think that I, as any other academic, should give input into that. My philosophy as a president is that it’s a collaborative, inclusive process to truly reflect the stakeholders on the campus – both faculty, staff, and students. I consider myself foremost an academic – I research, I still continue to do my work. I would not be in my position as president if I didn't. There's some presidents who aren’t academics, but for me, that’s what I value the most about what I bring to my job.
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the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
news
Of teaching and learning Cree Mixed feelings about the way Cree courses are taught at FNUniv iryn tushabe contributor Cree, like other First Nations languages, is an endangered language - that much is clear. According to one former First Nations University (FNUniv) student, the University’s teaching system is a big part of the problem. Last year, Eisel Mazaard, 34, took four courses in Cree at FNUniv in the space of 12 months, and emerged not being able to speak a complete sentence in the language. “If you had a program teaching a language and none of the students learned how to say “where’s the bathroom,” I would say that’s a disaster,”’ he said. According to Mazaard, Cree courses are not designed to teach students to speak the language. Rather, they are structured so that students can pass written exams. For Mazaard, this is a problem because he, unlike most students “who took the Cree class for an easy A+,” wants to speak the language fluently. “The first surprise was that I was the only one in my class trying to learn the Language. The classes are not majority Cree people. The vast majority of the students are white people who have no interest in speaking the language after the final exam,” Mazaard said. A few weeks into his first
ymcaacademy.org
NUniv tries to revive the spirit of Cree, but not everyone is happy with the way the courses are taught
course, Mazaard requested some speaking exercises from his professor or if the professor could read a story to the class in Cree. Both never happened. Arok Wolvengrey, an Associate Professor with Algonquian Language Studies and Linguistics at FNUniv has met with Mazaard and understands his concerns. However, Wolvengrey, and other professors found their hands tied by university regulations. According to Wolvengrey, the University requires that 75 per cent of all material in language classes be recorded in such a way
that they can be reassessed in exams. “For the language classes, what do you do for that kind of requirement if ...75 per cent of the material has to be reassessed? Well, you have writing, and so a lot of our introductory courses had, for the longest time, a large proportion geared simply toward learning the written form of the language,” said Wolvengrey. There are other classes designed for students who want to learn the speaking aspect of First Nations languages like Cree, but those classes require one to have a basic understanding of the lan-
guage. For someone like Mazaard ,who had no foundational knowledge of Cree, it was next to impossible to learn conversational Cree at FNUniv. Kristy Auger is a first year student at FNUniv. She is learning Cree and enjoying the experience so much, that she is already speaking the language quite well. Unlike Mazaard, however, Auger is Cree, and her Cree speaking relatives are a phone call away when she needs a little help with the language. Before she left her home in Fort St. Johns, B.C. to study the language at FNUniv, she spent a year with her eighty-two-
year-old grandmother who can only communicate in Cree. “Before I even took the class ... I would be able to say basic phrases like ‘hello, how are you?’ I could say that even before I started Cree 100, so in that sense, I did have an advantage,’” said Auger. One of the main reasons why Auger finds herself so compelled to learn her native language is because much of her culture is so intertwined with the language. “There are certain ceremonies that I wouldn't be able to learn if I’m not fluent in the language, because you have to be able to pray in the language. That’s just the way it is, and so its essential for carrying on the culture,” she explained. Auger is concerned that if her language becomes extinct, so will her culture. “Since I started learning about our history and the language, my life has become so much better. Growing up, I used to be ashamed to be Native, but not anymore,” she said, happily. Interestingly, Mazaard’s reason for learning Cree is not far different from Auger’s. He planned to embark on a project documenting Cree oral history, but since he didn’t learn the language, he feels bereft of the most important tool to tackle the project.
Business in Heels taouba khelifa news editor For the second year in a row, the Student Leadership Council (SLC) at the Regina Huda School organized its popular Ladies Bazaar and Trade Show last weekend on Saturday, Dec. 1. As the smell of homemade food wafted through the school’s hallway, various rooms were filled with chatter and shopping. From vendors selling traditional clothing, to those selling handmade jewelry and beauty products, to local caterers giving people a taste of homemade recipes, to well-known businesses like Mary Kay, Avon, and Lia Sophia selling their popular products, the atmosphere was one of a winter shopping land. Regina Huda School, founded in 1999, is an associate school in the city. Built to foster “the best of the Canadian culture, while preserving the Islamic identity,” the school is home to a large population of Muslim students, ranging from pre-school to grade 12. To connect with the larger Regina community, the school organizes various events throughout the year to bring community members and families together. The trade show is one of these established events. “One of our school’s improvement targets was to make Regina Huda School more known in the larger community, and make us more a part of the community. So we thought by bringing in the
Taouba Khelifa
public ... to something like this, that would work towards that goal,” explained Donna Littlemore, a high school teacher and SLC advisor at the school. And meet the goal, they did. The bazaar was advertised through Access Communications, Used Regina, Facebook, and other media outlets, and brought in a large number of people from friends and family members of students and teachers at the school, to local neighbors, and those who heard about the event online, and they were excited to do some holiday shopping. Apart from the different types of food, clothing, and jewelry sold at the show, however, what stood out most were the strong, determined, and dedicated women be-
hind the products - the local entrepreneurs and business women of Regina. “Women in business [is an area that’s] growing...I think there’s a lot more opportunities for females than there were even 5 or 10 years ago,” said Ashley Murray, a high school teacher at the school. This semester, Murray has the opportunity to teach the grade 12 students Entrepreneurship 30 – a fairly new course created by Saskatchewan Learning that is aimed at providing students with the “opportunity to learn about the various characteristics of entrepreneurs and create a working venture.” In collaboration with the Entrepreneurship Class 30, Junior
Achievement Saskatchewan (JSA), an organization aiming to bring business education into schools, partnered with Saskatchewan Learning to enhance the class’s curriculum, by providing students and teachers with “firsthand business experience to the classroom.” The JSA was incorporated into Saskatchewan's teaching curriculum in 2010-2011 academic year, and last year alone, the program reached 16,855 youth. At the Huda School, 11 students are taking the course: nine girls and two boys. Together, the team of students worked to create the health and beauty products company, Luxurious Bath, a handmade bath bombs and bath scrubs business that “surprises your senses.” Offering three various scents - lavender, peppermint, and sweet orange, the students put their product to the test on Saturday. Mehad Atim and Labiba Aboguddah, grade 12 students and Luxurious Bath stakeholders, said that the process to create their company wasn’t easy, but they learned a lot throughout the process. “The class teaches you many skills,” Aboguddah said. “We learned about stocks, research and marketing. From there we created the business plan and everyone now has positions in the company, finance, human resources, marketing, and product production ... If anyone was interested in going into business, later on in univer-
sity, it’s a really good class to show us how things would be.” Asked about their thoughts on women building businesses, Atim explained that in today’s maledominated society, women are taking over the field, doing a great job, and are successful as well. “I think that the whole women not being able to run a huge business, or a huge corporation, its just the stereotype that we have ... those are all ideologies that have been passed on from history. I think now that we’re coming into the 21st century, we have to realize that a woman can basically do anything that a guy can do, but she can do it in heels,” Atim said. Not only has the class provided students with the ability to experience what it takes to start up a business, but Murray believes that the class can also “help inspire girls to pursue dreams and aspirations within the business field.” Nancy Armstrong, an entrepreneur and business teacher, added the final remarks to the event, stating that the trade show is not only great for shopping, but a great way to “showcase women in business, the independence that women can have, and the entrepreneurial spirit of many women More and more women are launching into the business world, and not just as an assistant or in the background to a man’s success, but actually creating their own success.”
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
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We must not forget Violence against women isn’t something of the past. It’s happening today taouba khelifa news editor
On Dec. 6, 1989, Marc Lépine walked into Montreal’s Ecole Polytechnique, armed with a rifle. Shouting “I hate feminists,” Lépine separated the men and women in one of the classrooms, and opened fire on the women. Fourteen women were murdered. Thirteen other people were injured. Lépine believed that that he was rejected from engineering school because of the female students at the university. Before killing himself, Lépine left a letter containing a tirade against feminists, and a list of women in the city he wished he could kill – from firefighters and police officers, to politicians. While a lot has changed since 1986, a lot still needs to be done. To some, feminism is still seen as a radical and dangerous movement, while to others, domestic violence is a normal and everyday reality. The Montreal massacre, and the women who lost their lives to the violence, is a haunting memory for Canadians that violence against women is still present, and needs to be put to an end. “We need to encourage young women to see that feminism is not a dirty word, that women’s equality matters, that violence against women can and will affect them, and that they have a responsibility to act,” said Pamela Cross, a feminist lawyer, in her keynote speech titled ‘Violence Against Women: A Report Card.’ “You, like me, are here today because you want to commemorate the lives that Marc Lépine ended so abruptly on this day in 1989,” Cross went on saying in her speech. “We’re here because we still have work to do, and we want to be part of that work.” This is a moment of silence and remembrance to those lives lost, and to those who continue to fight for justice and equality in our world.
cbc.ca
The bid to recognise Palestine Canada’s position to vote against the recognition of Palestine in the UN has many feeling ashamed kristen mcewen news writer A historic bid to recognise the right of Palestine as a non-member observer state in the United Nations took place on Friday Nov. 30, giving Palestinians a certain degree of statehood recognition,
“ Given the failure of the Canadian government and [their] failure on the world stage to have any public influence, I think it’s up to us to increase the pressure from a community level to a national level through grassroots organising through our campuses, in our workplaces, in our churches and mosques and synagogues and what have you..” Valerie Zink
cbc.ca
Palestine welcomed into the United Nations
similar to the recognition given to the Vatican. One-hundred and thirty-eight countries, over two-thirds of the UN’s member states, voted in favour of recognising the state of Palestine. Canada, the United States, Israel, and six other countries voted against the recognition. Palestine applied to be recognised as a full UN member state in September 2011, but it’s recognition was vetoed by the UN Security Council. Here at home, the Regina Solidarity Group, an organisation of students and community mem-
bers whose aim is to engage and support anti-colonial struggles in Canada and around the world, were disappointed in Canada’s stance in the UN bid, stating that Canada’s decision was shameful. Valerie Zink, a member of the Regina Solidarity Group, stated that countries like the U.S. and Canada, and the mainstream media in these countries, are strong allies of Israel, and have “strategic interests in the region.” Zink went on to say that often, “anyone who dares to challenge the official narrative that we’re hearing from the Canadian government or from
mainstream media with respect to Palestine,” is often threatened. Despite this, Zink says the solidarity movement towards recognising Palestinian rights is growing nationally, despite the Canadian government’s lack of support on the issue. “Given the failure of the Canadian government and [their] failure on the world stage to have any public influence, I think it’s up to us to increase the pressure from a community level to a national level through grassroots organising through our campuses, in our workplaces, in our
churches and mosques and synagogues and what have you,” she said. “And we’re seeing increases in number, in hundreds of thousands of people all over the world, becoming more and more involved in the boycott, divestment and sanctions movement.” Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) is a global movement that was issued in 2005 by the Palestinian civil society, calling the international community to campaign against the Israeli government through BDS, until Israel obeys international law, and recognises the right of Palestinians in the region. According to the BDS movement website, the goals of these campaigns are to end Israel’s “occupation and colonization of all Arab lands” that have been occupied since 1967, to ensure Palestinian citizens have the same rights as Israeli citizens and to protect the rights of Palestinian refugees and allow them to return to their homes. In February of last year, the University of Regina’s Students’ Union passed a motion in support of the Palestinian civil society’s call for boycott, divestment and sanctions. Zink believes that this is a step in the right direction, and by continuing to support the BDS campaign, and strive to implement it on campus, Canadians can move towards the non-violent resistance and support of the Palestinian state.
a&c
A&C Editor: Paul Bogdan aandc@carillonregina.com the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
Holiday Gift Guide While most students’ minds are occupied with finals, our minds have already jumped to Christmas. In light of that, here are some considerably cheap, lovely gifts you can make on your broke student budget
ketuvketubah.com
Those are some ridiculous keys in that book box. Do they live in a castle? My good ness....
robyn tocker contributor Now I am against ruining any type of book, but making a “secret hollow book” is too interesting to pass up. First, find an old book at a place like Value Village. Make sure it’s still in one piece and a hardcover. Glue all the pages together (yes, every single page) with white glue, or any glue that isn’t a glue stick you used in elementary school. Once it’s dry, use an X-Acto knife to hollow out the center of the book, hence the title “Secret Hollow Book”. The secret part comes when you give it to the recipient. They can store whatever their little heart desires inside under the pretense they just have a regular book sitting on their desk. This shouldn’t cost you more than the book, which could by anywhere from $10-$20, depending on what kind of book you find. Another creative idea would be to give a personalized mirror this Christmas. You start out with a mirror, obviously, which you can pick up relatively cheap at the Dollar Store or, again, Value Village. If you luck out there, try searching the web for places. Once you have the mirrors (they usually come in packs of four), find a font you like and print the word or phrase you want on the mirror. Make sure you print it large enough to make on contact paper – that’s the stuff you used to make place mats in Kindergarten, and it can be found at Michaels, but you’d have to be willing to spend around $20 for that alone. If that is
too much work or not in your ideal price range, search for a marker that will stay on a mirror and write the message yourself in your best handwriting. As long as it’s personal, the receiver will love it.
Something you can never have too much of is stationary sets. Everyone needs a quick card they can pull out when an unexpected event pops up, so why not make your friends or family their own stationary sets? You start out by getting some old magazines that you wouldn’t mind cutting up. Once you get those, find a pattern for how to make an envelope online and construct as many as you need. After that, go out and find the most appealing stationary paper for the lowest price – the Dollar Store is a good place to start. If it needs a little more, find an address book at the same place and add a pen to finish it off. This will likely cost you $20, but takes a little more work when it comes to constructing envelopes by hand. Now if you’re going for something that’s cheap and requires hardly any effort, at least when it comes to making them, try offering your experience/services to someone. Think of the skills you have and the people in your life. Could Granny use your experience with the World Wide Web? Does your little brother or sister need a trip to the mall for shopping and/or an afternoon movie? Sometimes the simplest things are the ones that mean the most. Do some brainstorming. I’m sure you have something to offer.
michelle jones copy editor
“ It is the season of consumerism. Forget about spending hundreds on gifts this year. At the end of the day, the greatest gift of all is good company, and no amount of money can buy that.” Taouba Khelifa
Christmas is becoming far too commercialized in my eyes. That being said, homemade gifts are generally best. But, let’s be perfectly honest. As students, the last thing we have time for around Christmas is making some sort of craft for friends and family. For those of us who don’t have the time, or are just not at all crafty (like me), hit up the dollar store. They have changed so much over the past few years, and really do have a lot of decent merchandise. The best part? You can put together the entire gift in that one store, and likely for under $20. For the cook in the family, how about a basket of kitchen utensils and accessories? They even have kids DVD’s, candy, tools, candles, pretty much everything you can think of. And, they also have the baskets, gift bags, cards, ribbon, and anything else you might need to make your ultra-cheap purchase look like a million bucks. Just don’t forget to take the price tags off. Happy shopping!
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
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autumn mcdowell
taouba khelifa
sports editor
news editor
Everyone loves getting booze for Christmas. Why spend the holidays sober with your family when you could be drunk? Now, booze can be expensive, but recently I heard an ad on the radio that said 20 cans of Pilsner were only $30. Now, I’m quite aware that this gift exceeds the budget by $10, so the only logical thing to do is drink $10 worth of beer yourself and give the rest as a gift. That way, you’re drunk and the recipient of the gift is still happy because alcohol is the way into everyone’s heart, or pants. Everyone wins.
It’s the holiday season. People are out and about spending cash, buying their friends and family members gifts of all shapes and sizes. From $100 toys, to $500 electronics. It is the season of consumerism. Forget about spending hundreds on gifts this year. At the end of the day, the greatest gift of all is good company, and no amount of money can buy that. This holiday season, get together with the people you care about those that truly make you happy - and just enjoy being in each others’ company. No, it’s not called being cheap, it’s called creating priceless moments. Have a potluck, cook supper together, enjoy a cup of hot cocoa. Whatever you do, just do it together.
etsy.com
Julia Dima
That iphone case has buttons for eyes., because in crafty-land, that’s a cool thing
Kyle Leitch
julia dima
kyle leitch
neil adams
paul bogdan
production manager
arts writer
advertising msnsger
arts editor
Come Christmas, I always remember how being a little kid meant macaroni glued to construction paper with some glitter was the best gift I could give. I remember this, because I’m twenty, and it’s still my go to. Well, not macaroni and glitter, but cheap ass crafty things. Have you been on Pinterest? DIY shit is cool right now, and I am crafty as fuck. And you can be, too, for essentially the cost of macaroni and glitter! My favourite cheap ass go-to gift is an iphone sleeve. Here’s some easy instructions for you non-crafty folk: Step One: Buy a piece of felt. Step Two: Find some thread and needle in your kitchen or something. No thread and needle? Get yourself together. Step Three: Sew the felt into a pocket. The more amateur your stitches, the more “cute” and “original”. Step Four: Give your stupid piece of felt to a friend with a note that reads, ‘I made this just for you’ and have them think you’re both creative and thoughtful, with minimal effort and cost expenditure. Two birds. Total cost: Three bucks, tops. Total time: Dependent on your level of incompetence.
There’s nothing better for Christmas than the gift of music, right? That’s why I’m going to teach you how to make a guitar on the cheap! In order to do this, you’re going to need: a box, four or five paint stirrers, some super glue, some eye screws, an empty pen casing, and a set of guitar strings. Start by cutting the ends off of all but one of the paint sticks. Then, glue them sumbitches together. The flat bit that you didn’t cut off will be the guitar head, which you will screw the eye hooks into. Next, super glue the shit out of the base of the neck, and stick it to the box. Cut the pen casing vertically in half. These will act as both your bridge and nut. Super glue the nut to the base of the neck, and the bridge down towards the bottom of the box. Poke holes in the box underneath the bridge. String the guitar strings into the box, making sure that the tiny weights at the bottom of the strings fit the holes under the bridge. Wind the ends of the guitar strings around the eye hooks at the top. Voila! You have a guitar that costs about $20. When you’re inevitably excommunicated from your family for attempting to pass this off a as gift, save up your money, and buy a Squire.
Most of us have a handyperson in our family. Whether they're a tinkerer or a full on mechanist, it's the little hand tools that always get lost or break first. These things are cheap, and nothing says "I love you" like a new set of Robertson screwdrivers. Don't over think it; buy a nice claw hammer or a crowbar instead of a ratchet set. They already have a ratchet set, but your uncle came over one day and borrowed the crowbar and it never came back. Hand tools never go out of style. Shovels, hammers, a nice variety of sandpapers are the gift that keep on giving.
Everyone loves music. The best part is that there’s fantastic music happening right here. Julia McDougall just put out a fantastic new EP, and Andy Shauf also just released a new full length which is great as well. You get to support local artists, and you get to give someone music that they’re bound to like. It’s pretty much impossible to outright hate either of these recordings, and you can pick up both for $20 off of their bandcamp pages.
“ I heard an ad on the radio that said 20 cans of Pilsner were only $30. Now, I’m quite aware that this gift exceeds the budget by $10, so the only logical thing to do is drink $10 worth of beer yourself and give the rest as a gift. That way, you’re drunk and the recipient of the gift is still happy because alcohol is the way into everyone’s heart, or pants. Everyone wins.” Autumn McDowell
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the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
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ARTS ROUNDTABLE kyle leitch, jon neher, robyn tocker, jake stinson this week’s roundtable 1. What are your plans for the holidays?
Kyle Leitch: Well, I work four days out of every week of the break, so I’m not going anywhere. Probably just drinking alone.
Robyn Tocker: The same as every year: celebrate Christmas with my father’s family Christmas Eve, with just my parents on Christmas day, then again with my mom’s family either Christmas day or Boxing Day. Basically, I get three Christmases. Hell yeah. Jon Neher: I don't have too many plans, which is how I like it. I'll be spending a couple of days at my family's farm in Fenwood and having a low-key Christmas Day with my close family.
Jake Stinson: I'm terrible at gifts, so this season my plan is to give less shitty presents. That and going to Las Vegas for a bit with family. 2. What are you most looking forward to?
KL: Is “the holiday being over” an acceptable answer?
RT: All the Christmas specials on TV. Those are the things I look forward to all year. Once they stop, I am so depressed. Oh, and spend-
ing time with family and the gifts. That too.
JN: Holiday shows! In particular the second annual Band Swap on Dec. 27 and the fifth Annual Harvest King Records Christmas Show on Dec. 28. You will find me at both in a Christmas sweater.
JS: I really like egg-nog and rum, and the occasional christmas tune is okay, but overall I like the food. Seriously, it’s the best part. 3. Is there any part of the holidays that you dislike?
KL: If I didn’t make it excessively clear in one of my other articles, I can briefly summarize the point by saying “everything”. I dislike everything about the holiday.
RT: Hmm, I’m not sure if I can say I don’t like anything, considering it is Christmas and what other time of the year do you wake up to presents besides your birthday?
JN: "We HAVE to spend all day cooking this turkey even though none of us really like turkey, it's tradition!" or "It just isn't Christmas unless we spend the entire weekend decorating!" JS: I dislike people who put the holidays on a stick and shove it in my face and expect me to like it. I'll do my holiday thing; you do yours. 4. What's your favourite holiday dish and drink?
Tenielle Bogdan
Oh, the weather outside is frightful, so come in and enjoy this cheap made in China decoration shit. KL: My family never made a huge stink about the Christmas holiday; ergo, I don’t think I have a favourite holiday dish. Rum and egg nog is pretty killer, though.
RT: I love my mom’s homemade Christmas Ring. It’s basically a dozen cinnamon buns in a ring with maraschino cherries on top with icing sugar. That with milk is a good meal in my books. JN: Favourite holiday drink? Rum and Eggnog. Favourite holiday dish? Rum and Eggnog.
JS: Not sure it's a dish, but all the baking that happens around christmas--the good stuff like ginger-bread men and shortbread cookies. Paired with a whiskey? Nothing better. 5. What's your favourite holiday song? KL: “Baby it’s Cold Outside” is a
pretty good song, I guess. Anything by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is also an instant holiday go-to for me.
RT: Oh, that’s tough. I grew up with “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” as my favourite but “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” is my current favourite.
JN: It's a tight one but the edge goes to Vince Guarauldi and Good Ol'Charlie Brown for “Christmas Time is Here”. Special shout out to the Boney M. Christmas album for best whole album.
JS: Well I'm a fan of anything from Andy Beisel and the Buccaneers' One Bitchin' Christmas, but I'd also like to point out that A Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney is awful. Just for balance.
“ Favourite holiday drink? Rum and Eggnog. Favourite holiday dish? Rum and Eggnog.” Jon Neher
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
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Slippery slopes The Carillon shows you how to slide down a hill on pieces of plastic or plywood kyle leitch arts writer Now that it’s well below freezing, and there is more than a foot of snow on the ground, it’s finally time for everybody’s favourite winter pastime. If you said skating, hockey, the luge, skiing, snowboarding, or anything stupid like that, you lose. I speak, of course, of tobogganing. Nothing beats the magic of flying down a seventy-five degree angled sheet of ice on what amounts to a strip of wax paper before hurtling off of a makeshift jump like a rogue cannonball. Okay, maybe a lot of things beat that feeling, but the second before you crash-land onto the earth, and your lifeless corpse slides facedown the rest of the hill, there is no denying that you feel like an invincible sky god. We here at the Carillon love us some tobogganing. As such, we’ve decided to compile a pretty sweet Holiday Advice Guide to maximize your tobogganing experience this winter season. Like the noble knights of Camelot, the first thing you need to decide on is your noble steed. You’re going to need a reliable beast to carry you (relatively) safely from the top of the hill down to the bottom. Those traditionalists may take comfort in riding on a plywood tank with steel riding rails, but racking up on that thing is the tobogganing equiva-
Tenielle Bogdan
Ah, rich kid sleds. I remeber wrapping a garbage bag over a potato sac. Like a boss. A poor boss. lent of a natural disaster. Personally, I always rode the flying saucers – those tiny discs of blue and red plastic that looked like upturned condoms. It was even more fun if you had a partner who was willing to give you a spin as they pushed you off the top of the hill. Once a decision is reached, it’s time to decide on appropriate clothing. Now, as much fun as it is to see shirtless skeezoids get icy road rash when they wipe out, it’s safe to say they’re not having a
good time. Wearing a coat isn’t exactly a bad idea. If you don’t have long hair to blow triumphantly in the wind as you whiz down the hill, then a long scarf is also something you’ll want to look into. Finally, and this may sound goofy, but a bike helmet is also not a bad idea. If you should crash, at least you’ll protect your melon – and possibly the aforementioned triumphantly blowing long hair. Next on the toboggan to-do list is to assemble some provi-
sions. When gathering necessities, it is important to determine the length of your tobogganing adventure. If you are going out for a few hours, a flask of whiskey and a Thermos full of soup will be great things to end the day with. If the adventure is going to be longer, then a flask of soup and a Thermos full of whiskey is likely the order of the day. It is also a good idea to bring along some munchies – they’ll help combat the whiskey. Bringing several bags of assorted snackage to share
amongst you and your undoubtedly cold compadres will ensure that there are no hard feelings after you push them down the incredibly bumpy section of the hill. Speaking of hills, the most important decision you will have to make before embarking is about your destination. Regina is woefully devoid of really sweet tobogganing spots, as Mount Pleasant has declined in recent years. There are several hidden grottoes of surprisingly decent spots in the public parks around town, but if you want a real challenge, you’ll need to head out of town. For a real challenge, one can always tackle the Qu’Appelle Valley, the double-black diamond of the toboggan runs. When you get to the sledding spot, your final decision will be of role assignment. It is here that you must determine sledding order, paramedic caller, and, if there’s someone who doesn’t wish to partake in the sledding, who will be the sled roadie who waits at the bottom of the hill to carry the rides back up after the run. Thus concludes the wisdom that we had to impart about tobogganing. Remember to stay safe, have fun, and if there’s a real possibility you could get hurt, make sure someone’s filming. The physical body may die, but the viral YouTube spirit shall live on forever.
I hate the holidays Because what are the holidays without a scrooge i’m not holid-angry kyle leitch arts writer Christmas sucks. Perhaps only Black Friday succeeds more at commercializing mass consumerism – if that’s even possible. People are trampled in the race for the hottest toys, fistfights break out over sales, and people are generally more irate than at any other time of the year. A quick scan of the news will show that it’s not the kids behaving like this. It’s grown, supposedly rational adults. Adults who “just want the very bestest for their children” and who aren’t afraid to kick in the teeth of their fellow humans to achieve it. So, thus far, Christmas can be boiled down to the manifestation of humanity’s most basic desires to accumulate shit and enact mindless acts of violence on one another. Christmas can best be represented by the very earliest mating rituals—whoever proves their dominance by accumulating the most material possessions and establishing physical superiority wins. Well, I’m looking at a king sitting on a throne of cheap plasma TVs and broken human skulls, and I see another capitalist pig of a loser. And the Christmas carols. Sweet Jesus, the Christmas carols.
Tenielle Bogdan
Yeah, fuck you, Santa.
It’s like your aunt finally learned how to use Nero, and burned a “mix” CD of 24 artists covering “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry”. I like “Mary’s Boy Child” as much as the next guy, but I don’t need to hear it four consecutive times
sung in the same way by different artists. Oh, and if I hear “Feed the World” one more time, I’m going to fucking snap. And then there’s the television Christmas specials. Often, these episodes have no continuity or
connection to an established story, and generally tend to riff on equally old and crappy holiday movies. Why is it, then, that we continue to go so crazy over Christmas? Is it because of the
prospect of getting gifts from people we hardly know or care about to show how much we’re appreciated? Or is it because that small percentage of people that can actually be civil and engage in the cheer of the holiday rather than the hand-over-fist greed of it? Hardly. So, we’re expected to be on our best behaviour for one month out of the year, when most of us wouldn’t ordinarily take the time to piss on someone who was on fire during the other eleven. We’re expected to spread the laughably called “holiday cheer” for fear of a morbidly obese, crimson-clad geriatric not chucking a PlayStation down our chimney. I don’t think I would have half a problem with the holiday if this attitude of kindness towards each other was encouraged year-round instead of just over the coldest months of the year. Maybe this anger is all misdirected, and I should just let people enjoy their holiday. But, where would that leave me? A broken, shuddering ball of hate locked away in front of a violent video game or two – actually, that sounds like most holidays I have. Carry on, then. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. And a happy new year. I’m not holidangry. Honest.
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
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Sharing a bit of home, and then some U of R students share their winning photos, and some from their homelands
Silvia Marisol Mondragon Martinez
Narmaan Singh Sidhu
That looks like a jawbreaker, but I don’t know if it will taste like one....
taouba khelifa news editor As part of their annual International Education Week celebrations, the Faculty of Business Administration ran a photography contest from the week of Nov. 12 to 16. Students were encouraged to submit photos that showcased their international experiences, and out of 90 great photo entries, three were voted as the winners. The Carillon spoke to the winners of the photo contest about their international experiences, and their winning photos. What is your name?
Narmaan Singh Sidhu Where are you from? I am from India.
How long have you been studying at the U of R? I came to Canada to study at the U of R in September, 2012.
Tell us why you chose this photo.
I choose this photo because when I was asked to submit the photograph in the contest, it was the month of November, and during this month, a famous festival named "Diwali" is celebrated in India. [The] picture is of ecofriendly lighting pots called "Divas".
Tell us a little bit about where you are from. How are the people like? How is the environment? In India, I am exactly from Punjab. In Punjab, people are hardworking, people always try to remain happy, generous, and are of [a] jolly nature. The environment [in Regina] is totally different for me ... maybe because I am not born here. I don't have enough friends; I don't have parents with me here, so I actually miss them. But what I am here for is the studies; they are totally beneficial to me, and I
think they are [better] than back home. What do you miss most about your home?
The most I miss about my home is my parents and my friends. What do you like best about Regina?
I like ... Regina because it is a less populated city, a peaceful city to live in.
If you could describe your country in three words, what would they be?
Rather than choosing any three words to describe India, I would describe it in only two words: Incredible India. What is your name? Silvia Marisol Martinez
Mondragon
Where are you from? Mexico
How long have you been studying at the U of R?
Just got here for Fall semester 2012. Tell us why you chose this photo.
I like the photo because Yellowstone’s landscapes are just so unique.
Tell us a little bit about where you are from. What are the people like? How is the environment?
I’m from Sonora, Mexico. It’s just so different from here. My hometown actually [has] desert temperatures that can get up to 122 degrees Fahrenheit. We have mostly beaches, sun, and cactuses, so I can say it’s quite the opposite from [Regina]. Mexico is well known for its beaches, and pyramids are also an important part
Florian Genther
of our history.
What do you miss most about your home? When it gets too cold here, I miss going to the beach.
What do you like best about Regina?
As I said, everything is so different from my hometown. I guess that’s what I like the most, the contrast of culture and environment.
If you could describe your country in three words, what would they be? Full of culture.
What is your name? Florian Genther
Where are you from?
I'm from Neuhausen, Switzerland. (No that’s not the same as Sweden)
How long have you been studying at the U of R?
I'm only here for this semester. I arrived here in the beginning of September and I will stay until the end of December. Tell us why you chose this photo.
The photo I chose shows a goat I saw at Medicine Lake near Jasper. I was on a road trip through The Rocky Mountains with two friends from Switzerland before I came to Regina. This was the closest we came to an animal during our 7-week trip.
Tell us a little bit about where you are from. How are the people like? How is the environment? The people are maybe a bit more uptight, but also very friendly. Lots of them are very busy during the week and love to party on weekends. I don't think there are so many differences between Canadians and Swiss. Switzerland is like Alberta and BC, but much
smaller. We have a lot of mountains, lakes and rivers. The place where I live is near the river Rhine, [where] we spend a lot of time in summer. What do you miss most about your home? My big bed, the food my mom cooks, swiss bread, cheese and chocolate and sometimes my family and friends.
What do you like best about Regina?
I like the people here the most, and also the campus life. It is a total new experience for me because we don't have residences at our universities. Everything is so close together in Switzerland that you can commute to university every day by public transport. If you could describe your country in three words, what would they be? Neutral, chocolate, Alps.
sports
Sports Editor: Autumn McDowell sports@carillonregina.com the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
ROUNDTABLE
Reuters/Laszlo Balogh
I hate being chased, especially by a mob of scary half naked Santa’s
braden dupuis, paige kreutzwieser, autumn mcdowell, edward dodd this week’s roundtable
Which U of R sports team do you think will have the best 2013 season? Dupuis: It doesn’t matter in the end, as long as they all go out there, give it their all and have fun doing it, right? Isn’t that what sports are all about? Teamwork and sportsmanship and shaking hands and being the best you that you can be? Go Cougars.
Kreutzwieser: The ladies basketball team is my choice. When you have the U of R’s most intense fan, James Pitsula, screaming on the sidelines, I don’t know how that wouldn’t motivate you to win. And now that I’m aware they sell beer at the games, I might become the second most intense fan.
McDowell: Everyone is going to say the women’s basketball team because we are hosting nationals and they are riding a nine-game winning streak, but I can’t pick them until they prove they won’t choke in big games. I think my choice will be the women’s hockey team, who has yet to even prove to me they can make the playoffs, but, this is their year – hopefully no one gets horribly injured – knock on wood.
Dodd: My best guess is the women’s curling team. They seem to dominate every year.
Which pro athlete should receive coal for Christmas this year?
Dupuis: None of them. They’re all top-notch in my books. They work so hard to entertain us, and in the end, who are we to judge them on or off their designated playing areas? I think for Christmas this year, we should all get together and sing carols advocating for raises for our favorite athletes. Who’s with me?
Kreutzwieser: Ryan Lochte. Replace his stupid “grillz” he tries to pull off with coal. Maybe along with the coal he could get a book on how to not be so stupid. God he’s stupid. Cute, but stupid.
McDowell: Let’s see, who are my most hated athletes of 2012? Well, obviously Chris Getzlaf will receive a big fat lump of coal in his stocking, I’d toss it to him but there’s no chance he would catch it under pressure. Also, I’m tempted to give Darian Durant a small piece because may I just say that he is a way different person on TV than he is at a house party – asshole. Also, every member of the Canucks will be getting coal. There isn’t even hockey, but everyone still hates them, and that says a lot.
Dodd: The skip of the men’s curling team. I don’t know who it is, but I am super jealous that he’s probably better at curling than me.
Do you think Team Canada will dominate the World Juniors like they did during the last lockout?
Dupuis: All this talk about domination is giving me a case of the Christmas blues. While winning is nice, all I really hope is that our boys go out there and have fun. In the end, that’s what really matters, right? Harboring good international relations through friendly competition. Kreutzwieser: I’ll go with a yes. How ironic it is that my New Years resolution was to watch this year’s hockey this season?
McDowell: I don’t think that they will be quite as dominant as 2005, because that team had a borderline insane level of talent, but they this team will still be unreal. If Ryan Nugent-Hopkins can stay healthy for that week we will be in good shape. Might as well start planning the victory celebrations now.
Dodd: If by “World Juniors” you mean “World Juniors of Curling,” then I would say the lockout doesn’t have much to do with it, but Canada always dominates at curling. If you had to cast pro athletes as characters in your favourite Christmas movie, who would play the lead role?
Dupuis: OJ Simpson is Scott Calvin, an ordinary man who accidentally murders Santa Claus on
Christmas Eve. When he and his son, Charlie (Jaden Smith), finish St. Nick’s trip and deliveries, they go to the North Pole where OJ learns he must become the new Santa and convince those he loves that he is indeed Father Christmas, and also totally not a murderer. Kreutzwieser: I’d cast Ricky Williams and Michael Phelps in A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas. Maybe toss in Tim Lincecum somehow. It’d be great.
McDowell: Oh boy, well if I were to do a sports remake of The Grinch, there’s only one person that would fit the bill to play that skinny, heartless, monster: Gary Bettman. I realize he’s nowhere close to being a pro athlete, but get off my back everyone. Then, I would have Donald Fehr as the little dog, Max, to which he gets repeatedly and mercilessly whipped by the Grinch (Bettman). Do you see what I’m getting at with this? Finally, Sidney Crosby can play Cindy Lou Who because he has been the most vocal about questioning the Grinch while he’s been trying to ruin hockey season – Jesus, why don’t I write a longer answer? Dodd: I would definitely cast Thomas Ulsrud as “Mr. BrightPants”, in the Christmas movie “The Norwegian National Curling Team Saves Santa”, a film of my own creation. You just received a jersey for
Christmas, who’s name do you pray isn’t on the back?
Dupuis: I’m just grateful that someone thought enough about me to buy me such a nice jersey. It fits perfectly, how did you guess my size? I think instead of singling out any one athlete, I’ll just get the word ‘sportsmanship’ on the back. That way, nobody feels left out.
Kreutzwieser: I’d love a Fitzpatrick jersey. I’d wear it everyday, sleep in it, most likely shower in it. However, my Christmas list includes a deep freezer and socks. Unfortunately, a Bills jersey won’t help me keep my food frozen and toes warm. McDowell: Last year, all I wanted was the baby blue Pittsburgh Penguins Sidney Crosby jersey, but I was terrified that my mom might accidentally get me a black Malkin jersey by mistake. Thankfully, my mom is awesome and I got the one I wanted. God forbid I would have opened up a Chris Pronger or Jeremy Roenick jersey, that thing would be headed straight for the fireplace.
Dodd: I am praying that Maurice “The Rocket" Richard is not on the back, because if I learned anything from my childhood reading The Hockey Sweater, it’s that everyone is wearing Richard jerseys and I don’t want to conform to what third graders in 1942 wore.
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
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Partying Vs. Training How will the Cougars spend their holidays? braden dupuis sports writer With the end of the fall semester fast approaching, many students at the University of Regina are looking forward to a chance to unwind during Christmas break. But while some students will hit the bottle in an attempt to drink away the memories of another long semester, many of the U of R’s student athletes will be hitting the gym instead. “In past years I haven’t trained hard and I’ve always came back out of shape, and it always affected me for the first two or three games,” Darius Mole, said third-year men’s basketball player. “This time, I’m a little bit older and I know what needs to be done during the Christmas break, so I plan on training as hard as I can to come back in better shape.” While many athletes’ seasons have already wrapped up for the academic year, the majority of Cougar athletes will finish their seasons after the break. But the mid-season break doesn’t always mean egg nog and videogames. “Guys know that if you don’t train, somebody else is going to train harder, and it’s going to affect your playing time,” Mole said. “If you want to contribute, you’ve got to stay on top of your work ethic.”
Tenielle Bogdan
I want to be able to dunk so bad
The combined pressure of school and sports can weigh heavy on a student athlete at times, but Mole said it’s something you learn to deal with. “It’s a lot of pressure,” he said. “Staying on top of classes, I struggled my first few years, so I know firsthand how it goes. A lot of our young guys are understanding that it’s not easy.” One of those younger athletes, men’s basketball rookie Travis Sylvestre, said he spent the first half of the season adjusting to the
hectic university lifestyle. “As the months have gone on I’ve kind of just got used to picking up a little bit of relaxation whenever I can,” he said. “Basketball is a break from school too, and I love playing it, so it’s not so bad. The court’s always a nice break.” Like Mole, Sylvestre is looking forward to the Christmas break, but doesn’t plan on losing any ground during the time off. “If you just took off this month to completely just chill out and
party and what not you’d come back out of shape, and probably not really focused for school either,” Sylvestre said. “I’m hoping to maybe do a little pre-reading on textbooks for classes and work out and stuff. I don’t want to lose any fitness over the holidays.” That level of commitment isn’t just confined to the basketball court, either. Brian Sveinson, director of counseling services at the University of Regina, believes that student athletes in general are
well equipped to deal with the rigours of university life. “I think they have to have a very organized life and I think they learn over time, particularly by the time they get here, how to deal with stress,” he said. “My sense is a number of them have got a lot of good skills that kind of carry them through university, and certainly I think, with the help of their coaches and that, that it really makes a difference for them.” While student athletes may handle stress better than the average student, the Christmas break is still a welcomed respite in the middle of the school year. “I do think it’s important,” Sveinson said. “It’s nice to have a break to kind of slow down, to relax [and] to visit with family. There’s a lot of good things about the holidays that when it works well it does a lot of good for us.” But even though hitting the gym will be top priority for many athletes over the break, they may still find some time to hit the bottle as well. “Quite honestly, yeah, I’ll get a little partying in,” Mole said with a laugh. “I’m pretty sure a couple of our guys will get a couple parties in, but I mean, you’ve gotta have fun as well, you know? You’ve gotta live. People say it’s OK for athletes to party as long as you wake up the next morning and take care of work.”
Boys will be boys Cougars men’s hockey team take their notorious Vancouver trip braden dupuis sports writer Halfway through his first season behind the Cougars bench and men’s hockey, head coach Todd Johnson is starting to get settled in. “I think the first part was a little bit more stressful and hectic, just trying to get into the swing of things, but you know, now I’m used to the daily grind, and I know what we have to do on a daily basis,” he said. “It’s been great for myself and my family.” What makes the season even better for Johnson is a hockey team that has responded quickly to having new blood behind the bench, posting their best record in more than a decade at 7-7-2 heading into the Christmas break. “I think they’ve been working hard,” Johnson said. “I think when you look at other teams in our league, they have a lot more skill than we do, and I think for the most part we’ve competed with every team that we’ve played against, and give all the credit to the guys. They’ve bought in to what we’re trying to do and they’ve been working really hard at the systems, and they’ve been working hard in the gym, and that’s all you can ask for as a firstyear coach.” The team has also started to
Emily Wright
Self proclaimed boozebags come together off the ice as well, something Johnson attributes to their early-season trip to Alaska for a pair of exhibition games. “Even though it was an extremely long trip with the travel that we took, I thought that trip really brought our team together,” Johnson said. “You kind of look at every day and you’ve got guys coming in, they’re working out together, and they leave and they do things outside of the rink to-
gether. I think that’s what you want, and that’s what you demand from the team.” Johnson did say that he understands the needs for university students to have some time for off-ice debauchery. “There’s a time and a place obviously,” Johnson answered the question with a laugh. “The university life, you know, you don’t want to stifle it, because you want guys to experience what univer-
sity is about. There’s a time and a place, and I believe our guys have picked their times well ... Friday and Saturday we’ve competed really hard, and their time to have some fun is Saturday night, and I believe they do that just as hard as they’re playing Friday and Saturday.” Despite the Cougars closing out the first half of their season in B.C. – a trip that is notorious for getting players suspended –
Johnson wasn’t concerned about team discipline. “For the most part, the guys are men. You can’t put too many restrictions on them,” he said. “They know the importance of these two hockey games, and really it comes down to them, and it’s up to them whether they want to be committed to Friday and Saturday or if they want to go out.” During the trip, the team lost 3-0 on Friday night to UBC, but bounced back on Saturday with a 3-0 win of their own. One can only guess at what kind of partying then took place, but with the team sitting at .500 heading into the Christmas break, it’s fairly safe to say that it was excessive. For Johnson, it’s now time to start gearing up for the second half of the season. “It will be a little more difficult because we are on the road a little bit more,” he said, of what’s in store for the team after the break. “You can’t say whether we’re going to have the exact same record second half, but if the effort is there and we keep improving on the systems that we have in place, I can’t see why we couldn’t kind of mimic what we’ve done in the first half.”
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
sports 13
Last chance Gina Campbell wants to leave the women’s hockey team on a high note taryn riemer contributor Fifth-year Cougars women’s hockey forward Gina Campbell grew up in a family where hockey was top priority. “You live, dream and [breathe] hockey. Everything is all about hockey in our house.” If you come from a hockey family, you know exactly what she is talking about. “Each conversation at the dinner table was hockey related,” she said. “Each Christmas was hockey related.” This may be the typical life of a hockey family in Saskatchewan, but it has all paid off for Campbell. After five years of hard work at the U of R, she has realized her dream of becoming a teacher, and enjoyed the privilege of playing university hockey all the while. It has been a rewarding experience, but also a hectic one. “One of the first things I learned was how to live a balanced lifestyle with school and playing a sport,” she said. Although things were always busy for Campbell, she says that her family was always there for her. “You could always lean on them to talk to,” she said. “The support was amazing through those years and we were all able to relate to each other.” Even though there may have been a bit of rivalry between Gina
Micah del Rosario
Sister sister
and her sister, Jessica, who plays hockey at Cornell University, she says that they were always supportive of each other. And although she isn’t able to make it to her sibling’s games, she has caught a few of her brother, Dion’s, National Championship
hockey games for the University of New Brunswick. While reflecting on past memories, Campbell struggled to think of a favourite. “Being with my fifth year girls, big wins on Saturday night games, pre-game games we al-
“ I think this year we’ve got a good enough squad that can get us (to the national championships).” Gina Campbelll
ways play, [and] the relationships that I’ve built over the past years,” said Campbell, who also admits that road trips will be something she will never forget. When asked what this year has in store for the Cougars, Campbell had two simple words: “National Championship.” Campbell feels good this year about the team, and with their record of 12-4-0 so far this season, they are in good shape to reach that goal. “I think this year we’ve got a good enough squad that can get us there,” she said. Looking into the future,
Campbell hopes to have a job teaching next year. “I’d like to do some teaching overseas and get some experience that way…[in] New Zealand or Australia,” she said. Along with teaching, Campbell also has hopes to continue with hockey in the coming years, but in a different role than she’s used to. “Coaching is definitely an option for me sometime down the line,” she said. However, in the near future, she plans to take some time for herself and do something she hasn’t gotten the chance to do with her strict hockey and school schedule. “We play hockey every year at Christmas with our family,” said Campbell, who also said that she can’t see herself playing hockey competitively anymore after this year. However, hockey has always been in Campbell’s life and in the future it will most likely still be a big part of her life, she will always have the opportunity to coach young players down the road and teach them some of the lessons she learned over the years. The next chance to see Campbell and the rest of the Cougars women’s hockey team in action will be Jan.4-5 in Lethbridge.
Track attack First meet of the season shows promise for Cougars paige kreutzwieser contributor If this year in sports at the University of Regina gives us any indication of what’s in store for the track and field team, then we should probably have high expectations. Talk to head coach Bruce McCannel, it is easy to see that he has lofty expectations as well. Not only does he have several strong new recruits on the team, he also has the likes of veterans Kelly Wiebe, Karissa LePage, Avery Westberg and newcomer, Adam Strueby, all of whom just capped off a spectacular cross country season. With the Friendship Games – the first meet of the season – held this past weekend at the Regina Fieldhouse, McCannel was excited for many athletes on his team, especially the rookies, to just participate and gain some good experience. McCannel’s number one goal for the weekend: “Everyone making it through without injury.” Although he said that no event is more important than the other, the Friendship Games also serves as a morale boost to start off the season. With athletes competing in hurdles, long jump, high jump, shot put weight throws, pentathlon and more, the Friendship
Games were a great way to kick off track and field season. Two female athletes on the team have been training to compete in the pentathlon. Sophomore Megan Rumpel – who last year achieved a bronze medal in Canada West – is looking to further develop her skills this season. ”She wants to improve, and based on all of her training so far, she already has improved,” McCannel said. “She has set herself up to have a very successful season and I would define success as improving.” Third-year Kelsey Bohachewski is a returning member who is focusing on the pentathlon as well this year. It was her interest in the combined events that took her in this new direction, and McCannel couldn’t be more excited. “I think it gives her an opportunity to contribute to the team in a different way in individual events, while maintaining the excellent contribution she has made as a relay athlete,” he said. The Friendship Games also gave some new names on the team – Joy Becker, Tendayi Chikukwa, Preston Liebrecht, Liam Nystuen, Kaishan Aravinthan and Elisabeth Fortier – their first taste of what university track and field competitions are like. “Right now they are three
Arthur Ward
months up on training from where they’ve ever been before,” explained McCannel. “So I know that some of them are really excited to see where they are at and see where they are compared to the rest of our team, because we have a really strong group of returning athletes.” As mentioned before, Wiebe, who dominated in his final cross country season with the Cougars,
will now transition to indoor competitions. But will his record-setting performance in cross country foreshadow his upcoming season with the Cougars on the indoor track? “It's hard to say,” said McCannel. “He’s at the highest level he’s ever been at before, and he’s already won Canada West ... he’s at an extraordinarily high level. He’s one of the best runners
in Canada, not only in university, but in Canada. He’s one of the top ones against guys competing to go to the Olympics.” Tait Nystuen, Jeremy Eckert, Ethan Gardner, Connor McDonald, Ahmed Alkabary, Wyatt Baiton and Lex Ewen are just some of returning male names on the roster who McCannel expressed eagerness and high hopes for their season. As for the ladies, LePage, Westberg, Bohachewski, Rumpel, and Merissa Margetts are sure to put up some good showings for the team as well. As far as goals go for this season, it’s all about the team. “They present the banner at the end of the year for the best team, they don't present you with an individual banner, it’s for the team,” said McCannel, who is looking forward to the team staying healthy, keeping an over 70 per cent average, and to score as many point as they can in Canada West this season. With three Cougars records already slashed during the Friendship Games, the Cougars look to have a promising season ahead of them. The next chance to see the Cougars in action will be the Intrasquad Meet at the Centre of Kinesiology, Health & Sport on Dec. 22.
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
14 sports
Saturday Night Fights recap Round 6 left fans wanting more
Saturday Night Fights
dietrich neu editor-in-chief Local mixed martial arts promotion Saturday Night Fights hosted its sixth event this past Saturday. The biennial fighting series, which has already established itself as the premier martial arts promotion in Saskatchewan, hosted 14 fights at the Turvey Centre on the outskirts of Regina. The night featured a combination of both MMA matches and kickboxing bouts, and nearly every fight left the packed house buzzing with excitement. As per usual, the card was stacked with some of the top amateur MMA talent from across the province. Once again, Regina’s only local MMA promotion delivered a top-quality night of fights – right in our own backyard. Main Event – Sam King vs. Ian Odland The main event featured Complete MMA’s rising hometown star Sam King (4-0) against Lethbridge’s Ian Odland (3-4). King, who defeated Adam Zarrillo by knockout at Saturday Night Fights 5 last May, provided an even more impressive performance this time around. Spurred on by a room packed with hometown supporters, King defeated Odland in just 24 seconds. After a short feeling out period, King pushed Odland against the ropes and administered a crushing knee to the body that dropped the Lethbridge product to the mat almost instantly. Odland, who appeared to be in severe pain, tapped out after King connected with a few peppering shots for good measure. The lightning quick win marks King’s fourth victory after just one year of competition. “I feel great, I can’t wait to get in there again,” he said. “I was expecting the fight to last a little bit longer, but I landed that knee right off the hop and that ended
up finishing him. I felt the knee go right into his guts, I knew that it was a powerful shot and he was hurt. I thought he might fight through it a bit, but I am pleased how the fight turned out.” With a record of 4-0, fans are now beginning to wonder if King plans on making his pro debut any time soon. “I gotta get back in the gym and take it one day at a time,” he said. “As soon as you start getting a head of yourself in this sport, that is when you start making mistakes and I’m a strong believer in what [my trainer] AJ has prepared for me. So I’m just going to take it one day at a time.”
Co-main event – Justin Sander vs. Thomas Richardson The night’s co-main event featured an exciting back-and-forth battle between undefeated welterweights Justin Sander and Thomas Richardson. Sander, also fighting out of Complete MMA, almost ended the fight straight out of the gate, connecting with a superman punch in the early seconds that knocked Richardson back, forcing the Winnipeg product to attempt to regain his composure. From there Sander was able to wrestle Richardson to the mat and take his back. The crowd at the Turvey Centre cheered on as Sander attempted to sink in a rear-naked choke, all within the first 30 seconds. However, the fight slowed from there as Richardson was able to thwart the oncoming attack and eventually make his way back to his feet. The two athletes engaged in a battle of takedowns, ground and pound, and submission at-
tempts for the majority of the first round. Neither of them had tremendous success. With about thirty seconds remaining, Sander appeared to sway the momentum in his favour when he was able to take Richardson down with a powerful slam that sent tremors through the ring. Yet, what appeared to be a round-winning move for Sander quickly turned into a nightmare. With 15 seconds left in the first, Richardson locked up a tight triangle choke that seemed to catch Sander off guard. Richardson was able to lock the choke in tight, forcing Sander to tap just seconds before the bell rang. It was the first loss of Sander’s career, dropping to 2-1. Richardson, on the other hand, remains undefeated at 3-0. As disappointing as the loss may have been for Sander, Complete MMA’s head trainer, AJ Scales, believes this will benefit him in the long run. “It is always a disappointment when you don’t get that ‘W’,” Said Scales, who has trained Sander for several years. “But at the end of the day it is a learning experience. This sport is as much about creating successful people as it is creating great fighters.”
Other highlights Evan Isbister and Corey Chambers squared off in one of the more anticipated rematches of the year in Saskatchewan MMA. Isbister and Chambers had fought earlier in the year – Isbister won a controversial decision that was later reversed due to an error on the judge’s scorecards. This time the fight had a conclusive ending. From the onset,
both fighters were dead-set on finishing each other before the final bell. When both fighters exchanged heavy blows in the early going, it was clear the typical “feeling out” period didn’t apply. Chambers tasted early success with takedowns and ground-andpounds that put Isbister on the defensive early. Isbister appeared ready for the attack though, escaping back to his feet on several occasions while avoiding significant damage. The action reached its climax when Chambers locked in a tight guillotine choke that had all the makings of a fight ending submission. Audience members stood to their feet and cheered. It appeared the fight was all but over. “I’m a jujitsu fighter, so I’m trained to survive that kind of stuff,” Isbester said. “There is no way in hell I am going to let a Muay Thai fighter choke me out like that.” Isbister managed to escape the choke, but was promptly taken back down to the canvas after Chamber caught one of his kicks. With less than two minutes remaining in the round, Isbister quickly turned the momentum in his favor – locking up a tight armbar that forced Chambers to tap. Although the fight had its ups and downs, Isbister couldn’t be more pleased with how it went. “That is pretty much how I expected it to go,” he said. “I wanted to close the distance somehow and finish it with jujitsu, and I managed to do that.” The submission at 3:04 of round one marks the first win of Isbister’s career.
“ I was expecting the fight to last a little bit longer, but I landed that knee right off the hop and that ended up finishing him. I felt the knee go right into his guts, I knew that it was a powerful shot and he was hurt. I thought he might fight through it a bit, but I am pleased how the fight turned out. ” Sam King
Regina’s own Tammy Delaforest (1-3) picked up the first win of her career with a one-sided victory over Saskatoon’s Andrea Craig (00). The SIAM trained Delaforest kept Craig at bay with piercing jabs and front kicks, using her notable reach advantage to keep the distance and put on a stand-up clinic for three rounds. Craig offered little in return besides a relatively predictable strategy, charging towards Delafores swinging wild punches, hoping to land a lucky punch. Craig’s inexperience showed throughout the fight as she seems to become more and more frustrated with every crunching leg kick applied by Delaforest. Delaforest maintained composure throughout the contest and landed sharp punching combinations during all three rounds, winning by unanimous decision in front of her hometown crowd. In what turned out to be one of the more controversial decisions on the card, Winnipeg’s Deepy Sidhu came out victorious against Saskatoon’s Alex Delgado-Lopez in a hard-fought ground battle. The fight was a battle of contrasting styles and strategies. DelgadoLopez, fighting out of Saskatoon’s Way of the Dragon, was successful in multiple takedown attempts all night. However, once on the ground, Delgado-Lopez seemed like a fish out of water when Sidhu started attacking with constant submission attempts off her back. Throughout the majority of the fight, Delgado-Lopez struggled to fight off triangle and armbar attempts while Sidhu did an excellent job of chaining her submission attempts and avoiding what little ground and pound Delgado-Lopez could offer. Despite spending the majority of the fight on her back, Sidhu walked away with a judges majority draw (two judges Sidhu, one judge draw), which garnered boos from the crowd that was populated by dozens of Saskatoon fans.
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
sports 15
Dear Santa Sports fans Christmas list what the puck? autumn mcdowell sports editor It’s Christmas, everyone, the season of perpetual hope – unless you’re a hockey fan. Since it’s incredibly obvious my wish to get NHL hockey for Christmas won’t come true – Santa must be a soccer fan and decided to put me on the naughty list this year – I have come up with a few suggestions if anyone is looking for a last minute gift idea for me. This one just came to me off the top of my head, and I know many people are probably asking for the same thing, but if possible, I would like one free punch to commissioner, Gary NHL Bettman’s face without any repercussions. But, since he is probably unavailable because he’s been working so hard on negotiations these days – not – then a dartboard with his picture on it would also be much appreciated and would look great in my office. Next on my list would be lessons on how to stop on skates; however, I think I best get a few lessons from Philadelphia Flyers forward Scott Hartnell, “Hartnell down” himself, on how to properly take a fall. If you can’t get the real thing,
stylephotographykelowna.blogspot.ca
Why waste a list item on WJ gold? It’s already in the bag then I would quite enjoy one of those orange “Hartnell down” tshirts, or a helmet for safety’s sake so I don’t crack my head open while trying to stop. I would also like it if someone would arrange for a catching competition between myself and Saskatchewan Roughriders re-
ceiver Chris Getzlaf to see who can catch the most passes out of 10. I’ll even spot him nine. Firing Getzlaf would be the next best thing if he doesn’t agree to the catching competition. Oh, and another thing. I would like to take anyone who ever thought that NBC’s hockey
analyst Pierre McGuire should be the General Manager for the Montreal Canadians, lock them in a room with McGuire for 10 minutes and see who still thinks he should be the GM after having lived that hellish nightmare. I would also be interested to see how many people had ripped
their ears off after being forced to listen to him for that long, and out of the ones who hadn’t, how many of them were deaf to begin with because that would be an impossible feat and everyone would be dumber for having listened to him. This last gift idea I have is a little outlandish. In fact, I’m not sure if it even exists. But, if there is such a thing as a Christmas miracle, then I would like a copy of the world’s most exciting soccer game ever. Conditions are the score has to be over 1-0. I know; I don’t even know why I’m getting my hopes up for this ultrarare item. So, if and when you can’t find an exciting soccer game, I guess a handsome soccer player would be acceptable – nobody ought to be alone on Christmas. Plus, I need someone to take to these damn Christmas parties so I’m not the loser standing by themselves in a picture with all the other happy couples – again. Waking up on Christmas morning to see any or all of these gifts under the tree would restore my faith in Santa – whom it’s possible I saw having a smoke behind the mall today – I know that probably wasn’t the real Santa, but he still works for him. Right?
In case you missed it Cougars women’s hockey recap taryn riemer contributor The Cougars women’s hockey team was back in action last weekend for a pair of home games against the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds. “We were doing well getting the puck out and moving our feet to get out of our zone,” said Hilary Lerat, who also said the girls feel really good going into the Christmas break. “We had our goal of being 12-4-0 going into the Christmas break and we knew we had to sweep the last two weekends to do that. Everyone stepped up to find a win.” Friday, Nov. 30 saw the girls in a fast-paced game with a lot of action on both sides of the ice. The first period was full of high energy, but saw a struggle from both teams to score. However, UBC player Kelsey Halvorson took a penalty with six minutes left in the first, and that was all Regina needed to get ahead. First-year forward Kylie Gavelin scored on the power play, and second-year defenceman Carleen Meszaros was awarded an assist on the goal. Starting off the second period with a 1-0 advantage, Regina was given another power play and another scoring opportunity. A minute and a half into the power play, third-year defenceman Laura Olsen found the back of the net with a shot from the top
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of the circle. And just five minutes later, UBC got another penalty and Regina was back on the power play. The defence took over this power play as rookie defenceman Alexis Larson scored the third goal with an assist by Olsen. With five minutes left in the second period Regina hit a rough patch with penalties and received three in the next minute and a half. Regina was on a five-on-three penalty kill for a full minute, but the Cougars battled through and killed the remaining penalties off. In the last minutes of play before second intermission, the Cougars kept up the intensity with two breakaway chances to finish the period off.
Carrying a three-goal advantage into the final period, the Cougars began with a four on three for the first thirty seconds. This period saw a lot of end to end play between the two teams. Unfortunately, UBC was finally able to break Cougars second-year goaltender Toni Ross’s shot at a shutout eleven and a half minutes into the final frame. The goal was scored by Thunderbirds third-year defenceman Nikola Brown-John and assisted by second-year forward Rebecca Unrau. The fast pace play was kept up for the rest of the period. Just after seventeen minutes of play, UBC Coach Graham Thomas called a time out. UBC pulled their goalie for a six-on-four
chance and remained on the bench for the rest of the period. However, UBC could not get past Ross in the last three minutes of play and Regina came away with a 3-1 win. Saturday, Dec. 1, the Regina Cougars stepped up their game and dominated most of their second consecutive bout with the Thunderbirds. The girls started out the game a little slow, but when UBC got a penalty eight minutes in, Regina retaliated. Fifth-year forward Paige Wheeler scored the Cougars first goal on the power play with assists by fellow fifth-year forward Rianne Wight and Gavelin. Regina did not let up the pressure after their opening goal as
fourth-year forward Kendra Finch scored four minutes later. Keeping with the trend, Finch scored another goal after four more minutes of play with assists by second-year forward Brooklyn Moskowy and Meszaros. The start of the second period saw the girls scoring just over a minute into the period. Moskowy got the quick fourth goal with assists by Finch and second year forward Stephanie Sawchuk. The rest of the period was relatively calm until Regina took a penalty with three minutes left that led to UBC getting their first goal. Fifth-year Thunderbirds forward Kaitlin Imai got the puck past Regina’s second-year goalie Jennifer Schmidt to break her bid at a shut out. The third period brought the girls back to playing at their usual high level. Five minutes into the period, third-year defenceman Triston Riemer took a shot that found the back mesh with assists from Wight and fourth-year forward Katelyn Kennedy. The remainder of the period saw the girls kill three more penalties to finally win the game 5-1. With the weekend sweep, the Cougars concluded 2012. Their next home game is slated for Jan. 11 when Hayley Wickenheiser and the rest of the Calgary Dinos are in town for a battle of the top two teams in Canada West.
features
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
Worst of Regina
2012
Here it is again, our annual Worst of Regina issue. Why? Because Christmas always puts us in a cranky fuck-you kind of mood. And Prairie Dog is just too darn nice.
Julia Dima
Winner: No sidewalks
Worst sidewalk julia dima
production manager We all know that when the snow hits, and the ice hits, and the ice rain, and the wind, and the douche trucks, etc., City of Regina gives zero shits about pedestrians. No matter what, you’re making your own sidewalk, or falling over, or walking in the middle of street and getting honked at, most likely by the douche trucks who are going to shortly thereafter park on your sidewalk. Worst sidewalk? No sidewalk. You just don’t get them in the winter. Enjoy!
Worst boxing club
Winner: The Regina Boxing Club
Worst lawyer
Worst local Winner: Whoever was- Artist n’t suing the Carillon over the last 10 years
dietrich neu editor-in-chief
I don’t know who has been practicing law in Regina over the past decade, but whoever they are they missed a goldmine of defamation suits. Everytime I look back in our achives I can plainly see that we were libelling people multiple times a year, every year. The Carillon should have been sued out of business years ago. I can’t say exactly what we did, because that would open us up to more lawsuits, but suffice to say, we deserved it. This year alone Autumn has libelled Gary Bettman in almost every issue. You Regina Lawyers have missed the ball, to say the least.
Winner: Kindergarteners
autumn mcdowell sports editor
These kids don’t even know the meaning of colouring inside the lines, yet their creations hang on the fridges of nearly every home in Canada. If a kindergartener hands you a finger painting you have to pretend it’s great, even though you know it sucks. Those deceiving four year olds make you believe that what they have just created took an incredible amount of effort even though, lets be honest, all they did was dip their entire hand into pudding and then smear it onto paper until it formed an unrecognizable blob. I bet that blob doesn’t even have any hidden meaning to it.
kyle leitch arts writer
Yo, they call this place the Regina Boxing Club, right bro? So whenever I’m there, hanging with my boys, and I’m feeling the beat, and I gotta pump my fist, I get punched in the face. They should seriously change their name to the Regina Boxing Punch-inthe-Face Place.
“ There isn’t anything glamourous or cozy about (bathrooms), and when a girl drunk on margaritas storms in to take a glory shit and then re-apply her lip gloss, you might as well call a spade a spade.” Julia Dima, on Moxie’s
Worst clusterfuck
Winner: The Intersection at Albert Street, Saskatchewan Drive, and 12th Ave
edward dodd op-ed editor
If you’ve ever had the misfortunate of driving down Albert in late afternoon, you’ve likely experienced the abysmal intersection at Albert, Saskatchewan, and 12th. Without a doubt, this is the worst intersection in Regina. The lights at Saskatchewan and Albert do not sync up well with the ones at 12th and Albert, so you might sit waiting at 12th for the light to turn green for 5 minutes while the other light is green, then when yours finally changes, the other one turns red, trapping you in a hellish in-between zone where you might be trapped in an intersection. To make matters worse, there is construction that eats up parts of the northbound lane. Something needs to be done about this intersection. It’s just brutal.
Worst festival or event
Winner: Hermitfest 2012
kyle leitch arts writer
Once a month, I’ll lock myself in my house, shut off all the lights, throw on a DVD of a show from my childhood, and weep openly about the death of my innocence whilst eating litres upon litres of ice cream. November was particularly bad when I forgot to buy ice cream, so I substituted it for light Miracle Whip.
Worst type of milk
Winner: Dairy Milk
dustin christianson contributor
What's the actual sense in drinking a cow's milk? What's the actual sense in drinking a cow's milk that's been pasteurized and processed and then reinjected with chemically synthesized nutrition in an industrialized factory setting? For Christ sakes people, humans make milk too, suck on one of their titties.
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
features 17 Worst new staff at the carillon
Worst student newspaper
kyle leitch
braden dupuis
Winner: Kyle Leitch
arts writer
Winner: The Carillon
sports writer
Worst place to read on campus Winner: Riddell Centre
paul bogdan arts editor
Everyone disregarded my advice from last year, and actually made this blathering idiot of the highest order paid staff! With his own column?! This constant enabling of his inane blind aggression needs to be stopped as soon as is humanly possible. His unfunny profanity-laced rants are ruining the otherwise stellar reputation of a phenomenal newspaper.
This was a tough decision, but in the end, the Carillon narrowly edged out its closest competition (nobody) for the honour of worst student newspaper at the University of Regina. Honestly though, who’s running this filthy socialist rag? It seems like it’s 80 per cent diarrhea jokes and 20 per cent degenerate opinion. This is not journalism. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! Blargh angry rant! If I wanted to hear assholes who don’t know what they’re saying talk about stuff, I’d call up my dad.
Really, how am I supposed to submerse myself in a world of make-believe when you’re sitting across from me talking with your friends? What, you think you can get lunch here or something? Please. You think this is a place for social interaction? Nuh uh. This is a place for learning. No fun can be had here. There are so many better places to talk with your friends; the fifth floor of the library has comfy leather chairs that just beg to be sat in while you converse with your cohorts about how plastered you got at O’Hanlon’s on the weekend. Why not move there?
Dietrich Neu
Worst student activist Winner: Brad Wall
dietrich neu
Worst place to eat on campus Winner: Braden’s apartment braden dupuis
editor-in-chief As far as student activists go, I don’t think it is possible to fail any harder than Brad Wall. First off, he is way too old to be in university; for fuck sakes, get a job Brad. As for his role as a “student leader”, when was the last time he did anything for us? He hasn’t advocated for a single student issue since, well, ever; he’s never advocated for a student issue – what a dick. He probably couldn’t do a kegstand to save his life either. I think it is time to move on Bradley, spread your wings and fly away.
Worst neighbourhood Winner: Harbour Landing
sports writer Chartwells runs a pretty tight monopoly on shitty places to eat on campus, but I think I’ve got them beat. If you want a great place to eat on campus, definitely don’t come to my apartment. The menu consists almost exclusively of leftover Hamburger Helper and raw wieners. On Wednesdays you might find some remnants of Tuesday night’s wing night, but you can fuck right off. Those are mine. For dessert it’s mandarin orange. Singular. I’m not rich, you know. The table is in high demand, so be sure to call ahead for reservations.
Worst public bathroom Winner: Moxie’s julia dima
edward dodd
production manager
op-ed editor Last year I was rather harsh in my treatment of Harbour Landing, but after living with it for more than a year now, I have made peace with it. Especially helpful in this process is the shockingly good food and drink at Lancaster Taphouse. So, I’ve moderated my position, but there is still one thing I think we can agree on: Harbour Landing is the dumbest name for a subdivision in the middle of the prairie. Where’s the Harbour? Why remind people they live under an airport? I just don’t get it.
If the question is, “Did you use this worst as an excuse to go buy junk food from the scummiest fast food joints, gas stations, and bars?” The answer is yes. My final verdict: Moxie’s bathroom. Yes, that’s right, that fancy ass, chairs-with-attached-mirrors bullshit loungy shit-room. Because really, that’s what a public bathroom is. It’s a big room where everyone congregates to shit. There isn’t anything glamourous or cozy about it, and when a girl drunk on margaritas storms in to take a glory shit and then re-apply her lip gloss, you might as well call a spade a spade.
“ Harbour Landing is the dumbest name for a subdivision in the middle of the prairie. Where’s the Harbour? Why remind people they live under an airport? I just don’t get it.” Edward Dodd, on Harbour Landing
Dietrich Neu
Worst drone metal band
Worst thrift store
paul bogdan
autumn mcdowell
arts editor
sports editor
Winner: Library Voices
This is just a classic example of a band getting it so wrong. You can’t play drone metal and be happy. Worse yet, you guys are playing way too many damn notes – chiefly, you’re playing more than one note. Pull it together, Library Voices. It’s like they’re not even trying to play drone metal or something. Everything is just so wrong. Tambourines, standard-tuned guitars, vocal harmonies? Where are the creepy hoods and ten-minute instrumental songs with five notes or less? C’mon dudes. This ain’t indie rock.
Winner: Havik
They claim to have original pieces, something that no one else will have, but their prices are outrageous. What kind of a thrift store do they think they are? I hear their clothes haven’t even been worn before, what’s up with that? That means the chances of you finding a used Kleenex or mystery stain on your newly purchased item are slim to none. I don’t think I want to shop in a place where contracting lice isn’t an ever-present fear. And would it kill them to have their store smell awful when you first walk in? Work on it, Havik.
Worst librarian
Winner: the bitch-ass self-checkout machine at Archer.
dustin christianson contributor
Worst live theater performance
Winner: That One Man Show in Vic Park kyle leitch arts writer I was in Victoria Park this summer, when a dude starting staging a oneman rendition of William Shakespeare’s Macbeth. It was weird though, because instead of a power struggle for the Scottish throne, this guy’s version centered on him constantly drinking something from a paper bag, and screaming about how CSIS is using what remains of his teeth as spy satellites to snoop on Ertha Kitt’s cooch. All in all, it was the most disappointing seven-and-ahalf hours I’ve ever spent at the theater.
Worst live music venue Winner: Campion Library paul bogdan arts editor
Not only is this thing displacing actual human labour, but it refuses to do its job and consistently demands some practically unachievable level of technical skill in order to operate properly. I can scan my books, print my receipt and whatever-have-a-hollyjolly-good-time but every time I do so and then proceed to exit the library I am caught between the magnetic security arms and still, repeatedly, beeped at.
They don’t even play live music there. Worse yet, they don’t even play any music there! They barely even let you talk. The atmosphere is honestly oppressive. I tried starting a circle pit, and all those kids who were too hip to hardcore dance just scoffed and called security. Like, what the fuck? Who the hell wants to sit down at a rock ‘n roll show, or worse yet, who reads at a show? Mark my words, I will never be
wandering down to the library at Campion College to pop in and see who’s playing ever again.
op-ed
Op-Ed Editor: Edward Dodd op-ed@carillonregina.com the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
opinion
In wealth we trust I feel like noblesse oblige is a poor excuse for a social program. However, “socially responsible capitalism” is essentially just that. The idea is that because huge corporations and rich CEOs have tremendous power and wealth, they have an obligation to pay for things that the “little people” need. In the context of the university, it’s the belief that corporations that benefit from a well-educated population should charitably reinvest some of the increased earnings they make from having an educated workforce into the university. In the context of everything else, it means increasingly cash-strapped governments are looking for new ways to offload responsibilities that they have to someone else. Along with this idea is the concept that corporations need to do what is best for the planet, meaning that they will still participate in capitalism, but in doing so they will also look to offset their negative impact on the environment by taking other actions that are positive. When combined, corporations are encouraged to act in a way that is good for people, good for the planet, but still good for profit. It’s the classic definition of a win-win situation. People, planet, profit is a great idea in theory, but the way it is envisioned among many people leaves something to be desired. In many scenarios, corporations are expected to feel some sort of duty to be socially responsible. Along with this is the inherent idea that placing social issues in corporate hands is a good idea because, you know, the private sector is just better than the government and would never act in its own private interest. Going to the corporations to fund things that are valuable to society such as a university because they benefit from the graduates is a lazy approach when we
Edward Dodd
should actually be putting our efforts into electing people that understand the value of taxation in wealth redistribution. The university should not have to go begging to corporations and appealing to their “duty” as business to help out everyone else. There should be a structure in place that provides this service that is not at the beck and call of corporate interests. In theory the government, since it is supposedly controlled by the people, should be that body. Socially responsible capitalism also ignores the fact that corporations can walk away from these “duties” any time they want. Sure, its fine for corporations to work now to do things that are good for the en-
vironment, but in the future it seems unlikely that a dedication to the environment or social justice will stand in the way of maximizing profits. It never has before. And if they really felt a “duty” to society, they would be more than happy to pay higher taxes. I do not have a problem with people being rich or making money, but I do have a problem when people suggest that we should trust those people to do things out of the goodness of their hearts for society. The role of the government is to make sure that wealth is redistributed among poorer segments of society, and leaving social spending such as university funding or en-
For some reason, leaving important programs to “dragons” seems like a bad idea
vironmental policy to corporate entities with the belief that they will feel some sort of noblesse oblige is a questionable practice at best. We already have the tools to bring about a more fair system; we just need to make sure that we are electing people that know how to use them.
edward dodd op-ed editor
Mandatory hibernation It’s time to face the unavoidable truth: at some point, I will be made Prime Minister of this country. My low tolerance for bullshit and filibustering ability make me an ideal candidate for top job in the country. For which party will I run? The Freak Power Party, of course. What nearly made Hunter S. Thompson sheriff of Aspen, Colorado in 1970 will make me Prime Minister in the near future. What will my first order of Prime Ministership be? To decriminalize, legalize, and even encourage “it.” If you don’t know what “it” is, then I’m not telling you. My next and perhaps more important order of business will be to introduce mandatory hibernation for the country beginning in November and ending on March 1. So, what does hibernation have to do with operations at the University of Regina? Mandatory country-wide hibernation has everything to do with operations at the University of Regina, bubba. Think about it – we’re trying to formulate creative strategies to “free up efficiencies” in the budget at the university. What more efficiency could be freed up than shutting the building down for four months in the winter? This bold strategy will accomplish a couple of things: First, it’s going to force professors to trim the fat in their classes. There will be no filler or padding. Students will be able to maximize their university
singingsparrows.wordpress.com
classroom experience to the fullest because professors will be forced to streamline their lesson plans to fit the new, shorter semester schedule. Because students will spend two months in the classroom instead of four, the cost of tuition will go down. Everyone can extinguish all of the torches, and hang the pitchforks back on the wall.
Moreover, the university will save loads of money by ceasing operations in the winter. I know it often doesn’t seem like it, but the heat is almost constantly running in the building. The heating and energy consumption bills that the university must accumulate each and every winter must be just staggering. Going into complete lock-
down every winter will negate any costs that the university will have over the long winter months. With the money that will be saved by enacting these simple procedures, we can almost certainly save the floundering Arts faculty, and maybe even float some cash towards the underfunded departments – I’m looking right at the film department with that one. The strategy for saving money at the university is simple – it need not be resolved by strategic planning, third-party consultation groups, or by vaporizing necessary teaching positions. So, by the time the next federal election rolls around, your mission is very clear – the Harpocalypse needs to be stopped. Instead of voting for Stevebot’s Conservatives, or Beard Mulcair’s New Democrats, or god help you, Justin Trudeau, vote Kyle Leitch’s Freak Cabinet into office. Good things are going to happen when Freak Power storms into the hallowed halls of Ottawa. The Faculty of Arts, and indeed, the credibility of the entire university depend on this happening.
kyle leitch arts writer
the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013
op-ed 19
Feeding falsehoods I don’t like Santa Claus. Every year, someone comes along with an argument against Santa Claus. Either they’ve got some problem with all the seasonal cheer or they’ve realized that, by being an absolute curmudgeon, no one else is really going to favour having their company at this particularly cheerful time of year, so they resolve to take steps toward bringing down the collective-joy-level as much as possible. It appears difficult to argue effectively against Santa. He’s invisible, for one thing; traditionally this has implied immunity to logic. He’s also nearly omniscient (allknowing) and presumably omnibenevolent (all-loving). Santa might also be construed as omnipotent (all-powerful) since it would necessarily seem to require nearly-infinite ‘powers’ of one kind or another in order to command the world’s only remaining elf civilization into constructing every possible variety of wishedfor toy-stuffs and then to go around delivering them world-wide in a single evening with a floating sleigh carried along through mere thin air by just some magical flying reindeer. Often, people will suggest that the whole Christmas tradition has perpetually devolved over the last century into simply another streamlined consumer phenomenon: now it is just another regularly scheduled orgy of gratification wherein humans choose to unleash our desires for all the greatest and latest products to purchase,
and then present them to one another. People will shout themselves out of breath to blame the greedy multinational corporations, the global media, and those poor over-worked politicians for stirring up these unnecessarily wasteful shenanigans and, in the process, whoring out precious culture in the name of a simple and plainly unending desire for profit. In some sense, it is not so much that these loosely formed arguments are incorrect. Likely, it could be said that they are more relevant than ever. Despite all this hot-air coming off our ‘global economic meltdown’, despite being caught up in a huff over an ever-more frightening ‘war on terror’, consumer culture is still very much blossoming. Every year in this tradition, mindless consumption seems to become a globalized prerogative and we continue to set a perfectly healthy, practical example for the next generations of humanity by teaching them that it’s OK to forget nearly everything that really matters in the name of celebrating some sacred metaphorical symbols. All of this sort of rambling tends to skimp out on what I think is a more crucial point: besides working to continuously perpetuate the already perverted norms and values of popularized consumer culture, the morbid mythology of Santa Claus works in fact on the large-scale to practically ritualize the passive acceptance of obviously McDonald-ized falsehoods – in children, no less. In reality, the pre-pack-
aged Santa Claus mythos, pumped up and promulgated throughout our culture, is obviously well beyond ludicrous. Whatever, right? Popular culture regularly feeds us all kinds of impossible myths about what we’re supposed to believe, what we’re supposed to like, how good Coke is supposed to taste, and luckily we’re already been simultaneously programmed to choose for ourselves through all these flashy codes and messages while freely establishing our character as individuals. The fact that it is a mass-distributed deliberate falsehood, actually nurtured and promoted through widespread cultural propagation, is perhaps not at all a warrant for much worry or surprise. A more careful understanding shows that one main product of this mythology seems to be general control over the behaviour of children engendered through mystical cultural narrative which promotes a form of normative disciplinary obedience in exchange for gifts under the ever-pressing but always-imaginary threat of unavoidable moral judgement cast down from the North Pole by some jolly-but-judgmental being. A second point of note is that this mythology is normally fed directly to our children throughout culture, over the course of what are their most crucially formative years, deliberately teaching the passive acceptance of falsehood. All the while these kids are paying time and money to go to school and learn about
what everyone allegedly calls ‘the truth’. Children should really grow up with the benefit of ‘knowing’ as much as they can about the world so that when they become adults they’ll have a better chance of understanding and adapting to the truth of practical reality and likewise be therefore more prone to not going absolutely batshit insane. If children are normally expected to grow up and become ‘good’ adults while their parents, relatives, the media, and even ‘teachers’ are all-the-while willing to provide them with deliberately falsified knowledge of the world, can we really say our children are being treated fairly or justly? Are we really doing the best we can for young children by continuing to purposefully deceive them? In the end, what is said about the real value of truth when we’re willing to make a nearly sacred cultural ritual out of feeding the next generation of youth deliberate falsity and then cheerfully proceeding with joyous celebrations?
dustin christianson contributor
Duplicate presidents If we want to find more funding for the Arts, we need Dr. Timmonses
By creating more Timmons, we will create more funding. You have heard, I’m sure, about the recent financial situation regarding the University, and the particular affects that it that it will have on the Faculty of Arts. In the face of this situation, it is of the utmost importance for the individual departments contained within the suffering Arts faculty to generate more funds so that they can pull their own weight. In this way, Arts would feel less of a financial squeeze as its departments become more self-sufficient. Therefore, I propose that the administration hold a “Vianne Timmons LookAlike Contest” in which the department heads would compete. As vice-Chancellor and President of the University, Vianne Timmons is of course very busy, and therefore the department head that wins would stand in the place of Vianne Timmons at various events, and so she could be at two places at once, spreading the message of our fair but faltering University. The victorious department head would have to work two jobs, but it would be worth saving the department. The look-alike would earn a speaking fee or a portion of Timmons’s wage when representing her, whichever the administration finds more suitable. In these times of belt-tightening, the department head would obviously give the money to their respective department to ease the situation Arts finds itself in. This modest proposal does not only help the departments, but in fact it also helps the administration. Timmons is obvi-
ously critical to the functioning of this university, as she received last year around $40,000 in bonuses alone, so her importance absolutely must be duplicated. Thus, this proposal helps two factions that often are opposed to each other in the face of our current crisis. We have no time to waste. This University must be saved, and the ideas mentioned here must be enacted as soon as possible so as to be best prepared for the coming turmoil.
top100women.ca
michael chmielewski
Is this Dr Timmons or a look alike? We don’t know!
contributor
c a n a d a i n f e d e r a t o i n o f s t u d e n t s s a s k a t c h e w a n s t u d e n t s c o a t o i l n m c i h a e l a jsp ck s o n m o v e i a l y t o n u n d e r fi r e t h a t e e c h s t e p h e n h a r p e r c a n a d a i n e e l c ida tp o n t w t i e t r i u n e s k a n y e w e s a t l d y g a g a t n im aute o tu n ere cee ssa o itlh ncaafg h a n sik taru nta ste rs o b a o l i u t s h r e b a n p c y sweatervesthp isterdouchebags Visit www.carillonregina.com for more weekly shenanigans. Happy break!
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the carillon | Dec. 6, 2012 - Jan. 9, 2013