The Cascade Vol. 20 No. 13 - April 11, 2012 by The Cascade

Vol. 20 Issue. 13

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

Faaaalcooon PUUUUUNCH!!! since 1993

Volleyball Woman of the Year p. 12

Cover Photo by: Tree Frog Imaging

Stanley cup playoff match-ups p. 21

Album review: Craig Cardiff p. 14

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

INSIDE THIS WEEK’S ISSUE News

Opinion

Arts & Life

Sports & Health

UFV students leaving on jet planes

Human vs. NonHuman

Some Summer Viewing

Birth Control: An in-depth report

Cascade writer Sasha Moedt explores the details of UFV study abroad programs discussing the past and future international adventures of UFV students taking semesters abroad during their degrees.

Human rights and animal rights have been conversation topics for years. Recently, a bill has been brought to question searching for the rights to cetaceans. Would you give rights to Flipper?

Read more on page 22-23

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor ali@ufvcascade.ca Ali Siemens Business Manager joe@ufvcascade.ca Joe Johnson

Production Manager stewart@ufvcascade.ca Stewart Seymour Art Director anthony@ufvcascade.ca Anthony Biondi

I must admit that with only a couple weeks to go in the semester, I’m beginning to feel a strong sense of familiarity. Not that I’m really tired, or sick, or frantic in the way these times often inspire, I just feel that I am perhaps lost in the Emyn Muil, and Frodo Baggins has just turned to me with his moon-sized baby blues and declared “We’re going in circles!”

Copy Editor joel@ufvcascade.ca Joel Smart

“Aye, that we are, Mr. Frodo,” I would reply, “that we are.” Not that my cyclical motion implies a lack of direction, or the possibility of mortality through starvation or the twisted schemes of a schizophrenic, subterranean morlock. I just feel that, like certain hobbits, the surrounding rocks are starting to look mighty familiar.

News Editor grace@ufvcascade.ca Grace Romund

Ecclesiastes, easily the most depressing book in either testament, would put it this way: “What has been will be again, / what has been done will be done again; / there is nothing new under the sun.” (1:9 NIV)

Opinion Editor dessa@ufvcascade.ca Dessa Bayrock

Final papers? The sun has seen them before. Exams? The sun’s sick of them. Taxes? The sun just finished his (yellow dwarf filing separately). This was the first year he got to include his work as a volunteer firefighter, but frankly when you have seven billion dependents you don’t need many other deductions.

Arts & Life Editor jen@ufvcascade.ca Jennifer Colbourne

At times, it seems like academia is a circle of final papers and final exams, ad infinitum and ad nauseum. The late-night, back-to-the-wall, due-in-12-hours tenacity which is so important to the university student begins to feel remarkably familiar. The topics, equations, procedures, and operations change, but the pure desperation is an old friend, sweet in his clarity, and bitter in his urgency. He is not new under the sun. At 2 a.m. on a Monday night, three-quarters of the way through page four of 10, it becomes easy to imagine circles that start with syllabi and end with exams and create disturbingly little progress. It can become increasingly easy to return to Ecclesiastes (vanity of vanities, all is vanity), and discover that the Hebrew word from which “vanity” is derived (“hevel”) actually translates as “vapour,” which, if possible, seems even more transitory. It seems that 2 a.m. is a bad time to do existential thinking.

Yet there are bright spots of course, and once again, they start with hobbits. The fact that Frodo Baggins recognizes he is going in “circles” is already a step in the right direction; an irregularity in the vaporous elliptical. And of course each exam complete leads (hopefully) to another handful of credits towards that pivotal 120. The repetition is actually a solidification of necessary skills, the “circles” an academic training regimen in which “vanity” has very little traction. So hang in there, think of summer times at the seaside, or perhaps the start of tennis season just around the corner. You can do it, you know you can, after all a life “under the sun” is sounding pretty good about now. Enjoy the break,

Sports Editor sean@ufvcascade.ca Sean Evans

Speaking of cyclical patterns, this paper, which has hit stands every Wednesday for the last 13 weeks, is about to speak a soulful “sayanara.” This is it, boys and girls, the final issue of the 2012 winter semester. It’s been good, it’s been fun, and it’s had more weasel jokes than I’d ever thought possible. Thank you, once again, for supporting The Cascade, UFV’s autonomous student press. It just wouldn’t have been the same without you.

Paul Esau

Image: Kreative Eye - Dean McCoy/ flickr.com

UPCOMING EVENTS April 12

April 14

April 25

TSA Samosa Sale

Geography students at Abbotsford Civic Park

Directors’ Theatre Festival

Absolute Style 2012

Some of UFV’s geography department’s finest students will be found at Abbotsford Civic Park Saturday April 14 from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. along with the City of Abbotsford and Abbotsford’s Farm and Country Market. They will all be in attendance at this public event intended to give rise to ideas and visions of how to more effectively manage park space in the community. This event is to be sure to include the community in the planning. The event is free and will be held rain or shine.

The UFV Directors’ Theatre Festival has only grown bigger and bigger since it began 16 years ago. Theatre students from all corners of BC converge on the Chilliwack campus in the Chilliwack Theatre April 25 from 10:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. to watch and perform great talents. To be a part of this fun year-end festival, you can either purchase a Festival Pass, which gets you into every performance throughout the festival; or you can get a “snack pack” including four passes – or just buy tickets individually as shows interest you.

To wrap-up their year of hard work extending towards a degree in Fashion Design, the students in the Fashion department are almost ready to put their designs on the catwalk. The UFV Fashion Design program will be hosting their Absolute Style fashion 2012 program on April 25 from 1:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. There will be two showings of the designs: matinee show at 1:30 p.m. followed by a show at 7 p.m. The event will be held on Abbotsford campus at the Envision Athletic Centre.

The Theatre Students Association (TSA) is hosting a series of samosa sales – the next one being Thursday, April 12, from 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. on the Abbotsford campus in Alumni hall. The TSA is selling samosas as a fundraiser for the annual director’s festival they will be hosting at the end of the month. Samosas will be only $1 each so you should grab them while they’re hot and support the TSA.

Editor-in-Chief esau@ufvcascade.ca Paul Esau

Online Editor michael@ufvcascade.ca Michael Scoular

Vapour

Volume 20 · Issue 13 Room C1027 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529

Photojournalist rebecca@ufvcascade.ca Rebecca Groen

Staff Writers Karen Aney, Sasha Moedt, Leanna Pankratz, Alexei Summers Contributors Andrew MacDonald, Taylor Johnson, Paige Hoblak, Rasleen Uppal, Nick Ubels, Tim Ubels, Nadine Moedt, Jenny Pittman, Kate Nickelchock, Chris Doyle, EJ Harrow, Thomas Davies, Owen Coulter, Aaron Levy Printed By International WebExpress The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It provides a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published. It also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley. The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds. The Cascade is published every Wednesday with a circulation of 1500 and is distributed at UFV campuses and throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and Mission. The Cascade is a member of the Canadian University Press, a national cooperative of 75 university and college newspapers from Victoria to St. John’s. The Cascade follows the CUP ethical policy concerning material of a prejudicial or oppressive nature. Submissions are preferred in electronic format through e-mail. Please send submissions in “.txt” or “.doc” format only. Articles and letters to the editor must be typed. The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous content. The writer’s name and student number must be submitted with each submission. Letters to the editor must be under 250 words if intended for print. Only one letter to the editor per writer in any given edition. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, Cascade staff and collective, or associated members.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

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NEWS

CIVL wins some and loses some alexei summers

THE CASCADE

Changes are on the horizon for CIVL Radio. As of March 21 CIVL Radio, which is based out of the Abbotsford UFV Campus, found its station approved by Industry Canada for a permanent broadcast certificate. This means big changes for CIVL, as it is possible it will now be heard between Chilliwack and Langley, on 101.7 FM. Staff at CIVL seem excited about this new improvement to their station. “We’re finally able to serve Langley,” said CIVL station manager Aaron Levy. CIVL also has acquired a new tower that it can broadcast from, allowing it to be heard more clearly throughout the Fraser Valley. The new tower is located near the Mount Lehman overpass in Abbotsford. “We share the new tower with CBC. We started testing [the new tower] on February 14,” said Levy. “It’s just a point of procedure for the CRTC [the Canadian Ra-

dio-Television and Telecommunications Commission] to perform tests. There is always a testing period to ensure that when an operation does begin it’s not interfering with NAV CANADA, or airplane radios, or radars, or not interfering with police scanners.” CIVL Radio hopes to officially and permanently supply the Fraser Valley with diverse, alternative, progressive, informative and community-oriented programming. However, not all things have

gone well as of late for CIVL. Levy expressed disappointment with the CIVL referendum results which were released last week. The referendum was regarding a proposed $2 student fee increase which would allow CIVL to hire a second full-time staff member and the necessary resources to bring CIVL to Chilliwack – as such, the permanent broadcasting certificate does not allow for nearly as much improvement to the station as it had potential. After a long campaign, and much

hard work, the referendum results came back with 538 students voting for and 735 voting against the fee increase. Levy expressed that he does not feel that this reflects a negative opinion of CIVL radio, but rather a negative opinion of any type of student fee increase. This was the second referendum for a student fee increase that CIVL has held this school year, the first being in December. Due to the recent failure of the referendum, CIVL may now have

to rely on fundraising and donations in order to fund its projects, better its programming and increase its broadcast range. When asked if CIVL had any intention to hold another referendum in the future, Levy stated he had no interest in holding another one. “There’s a lot of things we can’t even think about now, because the money’s just not there,” Levy said. “All we can do right now is run the best radio station we know how to run.”

Chilliwack-Hope by-election underway joe johnson

THE CASCADE

The upcoming provincial Chilliwack-Hope by-election is shaping up to be a true battle royale, winner-take-all with high stakes. Running for the Liberals is Laurie Throness, for the NDP is Gwen O’Mahony, and for the Conservatives is John Martin. The by-election was triggered last August when then Attorney General, and MLA for the region, Barry Penner unexpectedly announced he would be stepping down within the following months. Since January 9, the traditionally Liberal-held riding has been without a representative. After an extended period of uncertainty as to when the by-election would be held, the date was finally announced by Premier Christy Clark; the vote will take place on April 19. All the candidates had already been named by the time the announcement was made. There is no mistake about the significance of the outcome. The Liberals need to keep the riding for a show of strength, while the NDP needs it to demonstrate that they can do more than lead the polls, and the Conservatives need it to exemplify that they are a legitimate party. Because of that, the big names have been out and campaigning alongside the candidates. While the NDP has a 20 per cent lead over the two other parties, according to a recent IpsosReid poll, no candidate is taking that as a result set in stone. Throness has always been a man behind the scene, having worked for the federal Conservatives under MP Chuck Strahl and more recently within the provincial Liberal party. Throness is looking to take the seat by playing up his small ‘c’ conservative

The Chilliwack-Hope riding each of the three candidates is vying for. leanings to that base within the riding. Although, he has his work cut out for him. Traditionally the sitting government has done exceptionally poor in by-elections. The Premier herself narrowly won her own byelection last May. Throness stated, “I’m a person who is best qualified to do the job in terms of education and experience, and also because the BC Liberal government has managed the economy well for the last 10 years. We are balancing the budget, we have the lowest personal and corporate taxes in Canada, a very low burden of provincial debt, and a triple-A credit rating. BC is in excellent financial shape.” O’Mahony is running in her

third election in as many years. In the 2009 provincial election she ran against Penner and received 5638 votes, falling short of Penner by 3347. However, she also spent $48,532 less on campaigning than Penner did. She also ran in the most recent federal election, taking second to the Conservative’s Chuck Strahl. John Martin, UFV Criminology professor and columnist for The Abbotsford Times, is looking to take the riding with the revived provincial Conservative party. Martin commented on the Liberals saying, “The Liberals are a tired, spent government that is falling apart and has done nothing to earn another term in power.”

Image: elections.bc.ca

Martin also took aim at the NDP saying, “But a return to the lost decade of the ‘90s when the NDP drove jobs, investment and citizens from BC is not the answer.” Only a BC Conservative government will get spending under control, reduce taxes and put the interests of British Columbians first. I am very much looking forward to being part of this team and bringing some common sense to Victoria.” In a riding that has three UFV campuses, the big issues for students are the cost of education and the quality provided from post-secondary institutions. The party campaigning heaviest on education is the NDP, where re-

cently O’Mahony and leader Adrian Dix spoke to their $100 million needs-based grant program at UFV’s Trades and Technology Centre. When asked what his plans are for advanced education Throness stated, “Education is one of the two largest priorities of the government, which spends 66 per cent of the provincial budget on health care and education. The province has spent $40 million alone on developing the Canada Education Park. I would like to see more skills training at UFV to feed the growing industries in the Chilliwack area.” Over the last two years there has been a $70 million decrease in post-secondary institutional grants, as explained in a letter addressed to the Minister of Advanced Education and composed by 25 different university and college presidents. What may have an effect in altering the outcome of the results came recently when John Van Dongen, former Liberal MLA for Abbotsford West, crossed the floor to the Conservatives. Answering to this Throness said, “I do not sense a split in the free enterprise coalition on the doorstep as I speak with hundreds of people throughout the riding. Almost everyone is aware of this by-election, and I think Mr. Van Dongen’s decision will help BC Liberal voters recognize that the threat of splitting the free enterprise coalition is real. This should increase voter turnout as voters who do not want the NDP to win, get to the polls and let their feelings be known. We may see a larger voter turnout than expected.” Whatever the end result may be, the winner of the by-election will be doing it all again with the rest of their party when the provincial election is held in just over a year from now.

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

NEWS

UFV students venture abroad to study sasha moedt

THE CASCADE

Students are taking advantage of the outbound international program offered though UFV international. UFV international offers extensive programs through partnerships with many universities all over the world. UFV student Kate Nickelchok is going to be attending Glamorgan University in Wales in the coming fall semester. “I’ve been wearing a permanent smile since finding out I would be traveling to Wales! I’m excited for the chance to live and learn abroad.” The program Nickelchok is studying abroad with is called Tradewinds, an exchange offered through UFV’s business department. Though there is much potential for the application process to be complicated, Nickelchok said that despite the process being a bit slow, she has received a lot of help and cooperation. “The application process was surprisingly simple. Applying to study abroad was easier than trying to register for courses!”

Image: Nick Ubels

“Although the process is sometimes slow, it is smooth and I’ve been really happy with support I’ve received on both sides of the pond … Since I was accepted into their program I’ve been impressed at their outreach ensuring I get the right visas and accommodation” Another UFV student, Amy Van Veen, is currently studying in Germany at the University of Münster. Van Veen is in a different study abroad program, studying Diaspora Literature.

“The options for our particular program are within the English Seminar section of this university. This means that all our classes, papers and presentations are completely in English – a handy thing for a person who didn’t know a word of German before this semester,” Van Veen noted. Also, before the courses began, they were given the opportunity to take a two-week intensive German course, where they learned the basics of the language. “We are then able to continue

this course without additional cost throughout the semester, which is something I am definitely taking advantage of.” In this program, the York University and the University of Münster partnered with UFV for the study abroad program. Van Veen explained that after the semester, upon completing the literature courses and the German course, UFV students will be returning for the winter semester with full-time UFV credits. Van Veen is so far pleased with her experience with UFV international. “The support here at the University of Münster is tremendously well-organized. There are specific departments, contacts and events held particularly for international students because it’s a program that runs every semester.” However, because this is a newer program, there were a few complications that arose as things carried on. “Since Canada, though, is somewhat outside of this network and therefore seemingly new to the process, there were a few things that were not communicated and basically not known until we were in the thick

of it here in Germany.” Small things, such as setting up internet, and figuring out phones and banking, were issues that Van Veen noted she has had to work out by herself – things that administrators wouldn‘t necessarily know. “One way this could have been improved, I think, is for previous international students at UFV to act as a support or at least put together some sort of a handbook for future students.” This, Van Veen said was the extent of her complications. “Other than that, there’s not much else other than my inability to ride a bike, which is a tragedy for someone living in the cycling capital of Germany and I’ve only had one questionable food experience when I accidentally ate veal sausage.” For more information of UFV’s study abroad program, and to find out what study abroad program you are eligible for, go to UFV international’s homepage at http://www.ufv. ca/international.htm or email any questions to StudyAbroad@ufv.ca.

Agree? Disagree? Comment at The Cascade online at ufvcascade.ca NEWS BRIEFS

Image: James Thompson/Flickr

Image: Raisa Pezderic/The Sheaf

image: Ho/Reuters

image: Jon Chiang/The Ubyssey

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Most Canadians plan no home buying in next two years: RBC

Saskatchewan student aspire to launch research journal

Norway mass killer deemed sane in new finding

UBC group storms Christy Clark’s office in protest of Enbridge pipeline

U.S. tells North Korea not to carry out nuclear test

TORONTO (Reuters) - A growing majority of Canadians do not intend to buy a house in the next two years, even with mortgage rates near record lows, according to a Royal Bank of Canada survey released on Thursday. In RBC’s annual poll of Canadian homeowners, 73 per cent of respondents said they are unlikely to buy within the next two years, an increase of 2 percent over the previous year’s survey. However, 46 percent of those polled expected mortgage rates to stay at ultra-low levels next year, up sharply from 30 percent in 2011. The poll also found that nearly 60 percent felt this year was a good time to buy a house, compared to 41 percent that felt 2013 would be better. “Canadians still feel confident about real estate but are a little uncertain about where the market is heading and when it makes sense to buy,” said Marcia Moffat, head of home equity financing at RBC. Moffat added that considerations such as affordability may be keeping potential home buyers on the sidelines. Canadian policymakers and economists have fretted about rising housing prices as household debt levels have soared. The ratio of debt to personal disposable income hit a record 151.9 per cent last year.

SASKATOON (CUP) — After toiling away on a research paper, it can be disheartening to have it simply graded and handed back. A group of 12 students at the University of Saskatchewan understand that frustration and have laid the groundwork for an undergraduate research journal for the university. The journal will allow students to have their research published and peer-reviewed. The Research Learning Community (RLC), which includes students from a variety of colleges, has met weekly throughout the year to investigate the feasibility of an on-campus undergraduate publication. They submitted their 10-page proposal to U of S associate vice-president of research Jim Basinger last week. Sarah Marcoux, a fourth-year rural and urban design major and co-author of the proposal, said undergraduate students are realizing the importance of thorough research and looking for a way to go beyond conventional coursework. “Research gives you the opportunity to examine everything you’ve learned, pick out what’s relevant, seek out missing knowledge and apply it in meaningful ways based on your own curiosity,” Marcoux said. The proposal includes plans for the appointment of a full editorial board, consisting of an editor-inchief, a team of senior editors, a layout manager and a marketing manager.

OSLO (Reuters) - Anders Behring Breivik was sane when he killed 77 people in attacks he saw as punishing pro-immigration “traitors” in Norway, a psychiatric team said on Tuesday, contradicting a prior report that found him psychotic. The new report could give judges grounds to sentence Breivik to prison instead of a psychiatric facility. Breivik himself has insisted he is mentally stable and demanded that his attacks - the most violent in Norway since World War Two - be judged as political militancy and not the work of a deranged mind. Breivik, 33, has admitted detonating a bomb that killed eight people at government headquarters in Oslo on July 22, then massacring 69 people with gunfire at a Labour Party summer camp. Most of the camp victims were teenagers. His trial on terrorism and murder charges is scheduled to start in Oslo next week and last 10 weeks. “We’re talking about psychosis, and we have found no evidence of it,” psychiatrist Asgar Aspaas told reporters after submitting the 310-page report based on weeks of round-the-clock observation. Aspaas was one of two experts appointed to provide a second opinion after a previous team using different methods found Breivik to be a psychotic who also suffered from paranoid schizophrenia.

VANCOUVER (CUP) — A UBC group has been brewing up a storm of support from Vancouverites against the Enbridge pipeline project. Environmentalist organization UBC Community 350 (UBCC350) helped organize “Storm the Riding” on March 31, which saw volunteers canvassing homes in Christy Clark’s Point Grey riding. Volunteers collect signatures to show opposition to the project and the need for Clark to take a position on the potential pipeline. “We believe she [Christy Clark] hasn’t taken a strong enough stance either way, for or against. Obviously we’re against it and we want to push her to say no it’s not acceptable to have an oil pipeline on our waters,” said Annie Rilkoff, a member of UBCC350 and one of the organizers of the event. The group of 160 then marched down Alma St. from Almond Park to Clark’s constituency office on West 4th Ave to present their petition. Clark herself was not present at her office, a point which elicited boo’s from the crowd, but a representative was arranged to receive the signatures. Oliver Holt, a third-year UBC student, spent Saturday morning collecting signatures. He said that people at ten out of 50 houses were willing to sign the petition.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The United States urged North Korea on Monday not conduct a nuclear test or launch a satellite and called on China to exert its influence over its neighbor to try to ward off such “provocative actions.” North Korea, which is pressing ahead with plans for a satellite launch despite U.S. and regional appeals that it desist, is also preparing a third nuclear test, South Korean news reports said on Sunday. Another nuclear test is bound to scare neighbors and infuriate the West, which has long sought to curb the North’s nuclear ambitions. South Korea’s Yonhap news agency quoted an unidentified intelligence source as saying North Korea was “clandestinely preparing a nuclear test” at the same location as the first two. The State Department repeated its advice to the North not to launch a satellite, saying this would violate U.N. Security Council resolutions and a February 29 denuclearization agreement. “Our position remains: don’t do it,” said spokeswoman Victoria Nuland. “North Korea’s launch of a missile would be highly provocative, it would pose a threat to regional security and it would be inconsistent with its recent undertakings to refrain from any kind of long-range missile launches.”

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

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NEWS

Coast Capital Savings: Investing in a brighter future chris doyle

CONTRIBUTOR We all know how banks work; we put money in the bank and it slowly gains interest and worth as we save up and wait. Coast Capital Savings (CCS) has decided to mix this up a bit. CCS has decided to invest in the students of UFV in the hope that this money will allow a growth in leadership and experience for the students. CSS hopes these experiences will be valuable as UFV students graduate and join the world at large. The creation and support of the Coast Capital Savings Student

Leadership Institute at UFV will fulfill these goals. The leadership institute is a program designed to inspire, develop and support student leaders on campus. This program, run by Susan Francis and Sidrah Ahmad, is responsible for various leadership opportunities on campus. These include the Student Leadership Challenge, The Standout – leadership magazine, the increasingly popular Leadership Speaker Series, the Evening of Recognition event and also various conferences held both at UFV and across the country. Selected student leaders are sent to repre-

sent UFV at these conferences. Coast Capital Savings donated $50,000 to UFV’s Student Life’s Leadership Institute on March 8 to further support both the program and the students involved. CCS has done this for the last three years and has donated a total of $150,000 in the past to support leadership programs at UFV. The donation ceremony was conducted at U-House honouring CCS representatives in attendance. The presentation included speeches from various UFV staff members and leaders that the leadership institute has already helped. Among these speak-

ers was UFV president Dr. Mark Evered and Student Life manager Susan Francis, who spoke about how these programs have helped the University in the past and how they will continue to help in the future. Nathan Abraham and Jenia Pyzhyanova followed each speaking about how the Coast Capital Savings Student Leadership Institute has already benefited them personally. The programs supported by the CCS donations have been growing in both quality and quantity throughout the last year as more and more students takes advantage of these resources. The

growth in both student involvement and presence on campus is greatly due to the efforts of the Student Life leadership institute and all of the work they have done to raise awareness on campus. The donations made to the Coast Capital Savings Student Leadership Institute have made a difference in atmosphere in the last three years and by donating once again to this program CCS has ensured that this influence will continue to be seen on campus. CCS has invested a total of $200,000 in leadership at UFV to date.

Canada pinches pennies IKEA to create cities alexei summers

THE CASCADE

In a surprising, but not unexpected move on March 29, as part of this year’s Federal budget, the Canadian government sent the order to the Royal Canadian Mint that in the month of April, it is to cease production of the Canadian one-cent coin – the penny. The penny is perhaps one of the most well-recognized symbols of Canada, bearing the patriotic national symbol – the maple leaf on one side, and the depiction of the British monarch on the other. Historically it has been made primarily from copper; however in recent years, due to the rising cost of the metal, the Royal Mint cut corners and used mostly steel, lightly-coated in copper. The last time Canada saw true copper penny production was in 1996. The years which followed saw a penny consisting of 94 per cent steel. The penny has for many years been discussed in Ottawa because of how much they cost to make. As of this year, every penny costs 1.6 cents to make. Due to their burdensome nature, and low value, most pennies disappear out of circulation because citizens simply do not use them they end up in jars, tossed in the trash or in wishing fountains. The Federal government has pointed out that pennies will always be accepted in transactions, and are still legal tender – how-

ever, no new ones will be minted, and it has encouraged Canadian’s to donate their pennies to financial institutions and charities. It is unknown how businessowners will react to this – if they will continue choosing to use the penny, or if they will deny it as acceptable form of payment. Ottawa has stated that this will be up to the discretion of the business. Historically in Canada, it has often been the opinion of the public that determines the effectiveness of any changes to currency and legal tender. The government has stated that it knows this transition will be awkward at first, but has encouraged businesses to round to the nearest five cents during transactions. Discontinuing the penny has been met with both criticism and rejoice. On one hand, many Canadians seem to be relieved to not have to carry around a lot of copper-plated steel trinkets in their pockets; on the other hand, there seems to be outcry from across the various provinces regarding the loss of a significant part of Canadian culture. Distribution of the penny to financial institutions is reported to be discontinued by the fall of 2012. It is estimated that the amount of money which will be saved by the cessation of penny production will be around $11 million a year. In the meantime, the government is doing everything it can to remove the coins from circulation.

The voice of reason: Philosophical advice for everyday concerns from the Student Association for Philosophical Counselling

Dear Voice of Reason, I got this email from my best friend who “came out of the closet”: “For the past year I’ve made our lives worse. I’ve ignored you and cried infront of you for no reason. I’ve made everyone worry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want my life to be like this. Nothing can help me. Nothing ever will. But when I’m with you I feel so safe and happy. You were the first guy I told that I am the way I am. You accepted me. I’m so sorry. I wanted to have an apartment with you guys. I care about you so much. I love you. I always loved you. But I know you will never feel the same way about me. I just wish I could

have told you in person. Every time I tried I thought about what might happen and felt so angry. I’m sorry I treated you this way. I had to tell you. I’m moving away and starting over. I think it’s for the best.” He’s been my best friend since kindergarten and he is like a brother. I don’t want him to move away, but at the same time I do. How can we stay friends if he loves me? I don’t think I can get past that. What do I say? Sincerely, Losing my best friend Dear Losing my best friend, This is definitely a hard time for both you and your best friend.

leanna pankratz

THE CASCADE

Many people have come to think of IKEA, the Swedish home décor heavyweight created by Ingvar Kamprad in 1943, as a strange, surreal neighbourhood characterized by mazes of ready-made apartments, and the best Swedish design has to offer in the form of mirrors and headboards. However, in a groundbreaking new decision, IKEA has decided to expand into city-form. An IKEA city is set to be built in North London, and the brand is alight with the excitement of this new venture. “Also known for its designs that intelligently fit a lot into a small space (at least in the displays), it looks like IKEA will take a similar approach to their neighborhood design with a nice mix of housing, offices, and shops,” stated Tyler Falk of the online publication SmartPlanet. “Cars will also be parked underground and the walkability of the neighbourhood will be high.” The area is planned to consist of 1200 houses, restaurants, and a 350-room hotel, surrounded by picturesque walkways and a relatively carfree environment. The neighbourhood will be largely centred on the natural presence of water in the area, and will provide water taxis, and a floating cocktail bar for residents. One cannot help but speculate whether or not the cafes will serve Swedish meatballs and

lingonberries like the stores. “The whole idea is a little frightening, of course, in that cutout Edward Scissorhands suburb kind of way, but from a business standpoint for IKEA, it can only go to further cement their brand,” commented budding Vancouver development architect Michael Royce. “IKEA thrives on providing a ‘one size fits all’ philosophy to design (one could find a Hemnes or a Billy desk in a good number of Vancouver residents’ apartments) and customers who have grown to appreciate the appealing monochromatics of IKEA’s furniture and decorations will certainly find a distinct comfort in a city centred around that same concept – quality, affordability, and family-friendliness. I believe that’s what the IKEA neighbourhood will be about,” he said, “and for a brand that has monopoly on the mind, I can’t imagine a better outlet.”

It’s natural to feel shocked and uncomfortable. One thing that will help clear your mind is remembering that your best friend is still the same person you met in kindergarten. Remind yourself how and why you became such good friends; his sexuality doesn’t take away from his personality or qualities that make him your best friend. Also, you should be happy that someone has expressed these feelings for you and in this case, they love you so much that they had the courage to come out and say it! Maybe he developed feelings for you because you’re a great friend, so now is not the time to stop. First, acknowledge the feelings that have been presented to you. Second and most importantly – be honest. By recognizing and accepting

his feelings you’ll reassure him that you still respect and admire the friend he is, and that you’re not going to neglect or ignore him. Your friend is going through a difficult time, considering that homosexuality is often not something that people feel they can speak freely about. For your friend, coming out took a lot of courage – especially because he knows you don’t feel the same way. Be honest. Speak openly with your friend and tell him you want to keep the relationship that you’ve always had and that his love for you isn’t one that you can reciprocate. The famous mathematician and philosopher Blaise Pascal (1623 –1662) once said, “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” You’re

Image:geograph.org.uk

IKEA is a very specific brand that caters to a wide and devoted audience. A provider of inexpensive, yet reliable, and stylistically-modern home décor, one can expect that they will provide the same attention to branding and detail that they do in their stores. The idea of an IKEA city is met with reactions that range from support to surprise to that occasional raised eyebrow. “I can’t imagine that the concept of a Hemnes house being incredibly good for the soul,” laughed Ashley Hunt, a student at UFV. “The description of it does sound quite picturesque, and almost a bit utopian. It’s interesting. I’d like to see how this unfolds.” “I wish IKEA the best of luck. It’s an interesting, idiosyncratic venture, and looks to be something new and fresh that I’d like to see happen more in this business,” Royce noted. The building project is set to start in 2013, after final permission is given. The IKEA neighbourhood is an innovative foray into architecture as well as a deeper business venture for the Swedish company. It will be interesting to watch a brand with such a distinct philosophy apply that same outlook to a community, and the finished product, judging from IKEA’s standards, promises to be comfortable, clean, and cultivated.

the first person that he is coming out to and he is most likely stressed. Right now he needs his best friend to help him through this difficult time. You should be supportive and encourage your friend to embrace the person he is born into and that it doesn’t take away from who he is. Tell him that you will always be there for him just as you always have been. By being honest to your friend, he can be honest to himself. Right now he needs his best friend to support him. In the end it will help both of you and it will make your relationship stronger. If anyone reading this would like to respond to this issue specifically or anything else please request advice from the SAPC by emailing devan. christian@student.ufv.ca

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

OPINION

Cuts to Katimavik are cuts to Canadian youth ANDREA MACDONALD

CONTRIBUTOR

When Liberal MP Justin Trudeau stepped into the ring last week, prepared to battle to the death verses the heavily-favoured Senator Patrick Brazeau in a charity boxing match , he was sporting more than chiselled muscles and short shorts. What many onlookers didn’t notice was the orange and green design painted on his rippling bicep. The design looks rather simple: a circle with a line underneath. To many the doodle means nothing, but to thousands of Canadians throughout the country, that simple design symbolizes so much more than a first glance can merit. The Inuktitut word for “meeting place,” Katimavik is a nation-wide youth volunteer program that annually selects 1100 young Canadians between the ages of 17 and 21 and sends them to diverse regions of Canada to volunteer with community-based organizations. If you‘ve been living under a rock (or, as a student facing exams, a pile of books) this past week, and haven‘t heard the news of the new federal budget, I’m here to regretfully inform you that the Conservative government has decided to cut all funding to Katimavik. This decision means that the hundreds of Canadian youth who were preparing to partake in this experience come July have been told to un-

pack their bags, because Harper has cancelled their trip. (Okay, maybe the bags weren’t packed just quite yet, but I can’t imagine the disappointment those future do-gooders must be feeling.) As a past participant myself, I remember the excitement I felt to be embarking on a huge adventure, away from the safety of mama bird and our well-kept nest, not knowing what, exactly, the next six months would hold. I learned from the moment my rotation began that it is nearly impossible to explain the life of a “Katimaviker” to anyone who has not participated in the program. Most people don’t understand why some-

one would want to work 10+ hour days without getting paid, live in a house with 11 strangers, and often eat meals that are focused around sustainability, such as vegetarianism. What those close-minded individuals don’t get to experience is the satisfaction gained from working a long-ass day, knowing how greatly someone has benefited from the service of 24 extra hands. Those individuals don’t get to form a life-long bond between someone who lives on opposite sides of the country, and nor do they get to learn how to grow, harvest, and prepare alternative meals that are healthy, economically sound and, might I add, delicious.

The doctor will not see you now

The main objective of this program is to walk out of it with a better sense of self, and do good within communities along the way. The small non-profit organizations that Katimavik works with would struggle without the support of volunteers, and often relies heavily on the participation of Katimavik volunteers. These new budget cuts will make a significant difference to those organizations that are the heart of our communities. “It is not just a youth program,” said Justin Trudeau, as quoted by Dan Neutel of Postmedia News. “Having these volunteers, who are committed people, to give projects to is a huge boost for small communities and community-service organizations that help out our vulnerable populations.” Katimavik is so much more than a nationwide youth volunteer program. It gives Canadian youth the opportunity to step outside of themselves, and often the only life they’ve ever known. Our young people are given the chance to explore our unique communities, to experience the diversity that Canada is built on; in doing so, they inevitably gain a greater respect for the environment and those around them. But most importantly, they are able to acknowledge their ability to make a significant impact in the world around them, which in turn, is priceless. The illogical decision made by

The power of protest PAIGE HOBLAK

CONTRIBUTOR

TAYLOR JOHNSON

CONTRIBUTOR

Have any of you heard about the Hippocratic Oath? Well, to sum it up for those of you who haven’t, in the fifth century or so, a philosopher decided that everyone in the medical field should hold the same values when it comes to their patients. Obviously this oath has changed over time to fit modern society and modern medicine, but in short the oath taken by physicians states they will do their best to help all life and “renounce self-interest.” We could assume that means when we’re sick we can have someone who’s looking out for that bad case of the sniffles or post-exam headache. However, when it comes to finding a family doctor, you’ll need to prepare yourself. In order to find a family doctor you must apply, and then book an appointment where the doctor reviews your application to decide if they will take you on. Take you on? First of all, from a student’s standpoint, that’s quite a hassle; we have enough to worry about with exams, due dates and part-time jobs. Now we have to add an interview process and application in order find someone willing to keep us running at 100 per cent? Why should doctors require your application? Doesn’t this defy their oath? What are the qualifications needed to be accepted? And, above all, why has finding a doctor become similar to finding a job? I’m sure we have all experienced

Image:Tulane Publications

the bouncing from clinic to clinic, trying to figure out what’s going on with our bodies. The doctor asks simple questions, checks your ears and throat and blood pressure, then reminds you to check in with your family doctor should any of the symptoms persist. This seems like a good idea … if you have a family doctor to check in with. When they say “family doctor,” they mean a doctor who has reviewed your application, called you into an appointment to go over that application, and then decided they want to take you as a permanent patient. But if that doctor decided they do not want you on their patient list, for whatever reason, what should you do? In my opinion, the patients should have to interview the doctor,

since the patient is letting them into their most personal problems. The medical system seems to be stuck in a vicious circle; we’re all suffering from a doctor shortage, a shortage caused by the doctors who pick and choose the clients they want to treat. To put this whole thing bluntly: round and round we go! By restricting who can be on a patient list and who can’t, the very idea of selfless medicine is lost. Instead of focusing on picking and choosing who they want to treat, doctors should spend their energy on taking care of the people behind those applications. This job-like application process goes against the Hippocratic Oath; something needs to be done to break us out of this cycle.

the Conservatives leaves me feeling like this government doesn’t have our youth—the future of Canada— as a priority when governing this country. By cutting the funding for Katimavik, the government is denying future generations of Canadian youth the opportunity to partake in this empowering experience. To put it in perspective, our government would rather spend $26 million dollars on one engine of an F-35 fighter jet than provide Canadian youth and the hundreds of communities they service the opportunity for personal growth and of a brighter future. “Why cut Katimavik?” is the important question here. Well, it’s very simple; it’s clearly because of Katimavik’s whopping budget of $14 million dollars. In reality, those are mere pennies when looking at the grand scheme of things. The proof is in the pudding: our government doesn’t seem to think that Canadian youth are worth the investment. What the Conservative government doesn’t seem to understand is that once you enter the world of Katimavik, you’re a member for life. Kind of like the Hells Angels, except with less facial hair and leather attire. There are hundreds of thousands of volunteers who are ready to fight for the survival of this incredible program and we’re not going anywhere. So put your dukes up, Harper. We’re ready for you.

Last week a 77-year-old Greek man killed himself in Athens’ busy Syntagma Square. In his suicide note, blame pointed to the Government; as a result of austerity cuts, his pension was reduced drastically, to the point where he saw no other means to an end. He wasn’t the only one; after the cuts, many protestors took to the already havoc-stricken city streets of Athens. After reading about this, I was reminded of the infamous self-immolation of Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, Thích Quảng Đức, back in the 60s. Thích Quảng Đức publically lit himself on fire in the open streets of Saigon to bring awareness to the horrifying conditions that were taking place under the oppressive Diệm regime. These are extreme cases, but there seems to be constant news coverage about protests emerging all over the world. We are no stranger to this, as our city has had its fair share of protests in the last year or so with Occupy Wall Street, not to mention street rallies, teacher walk-outs, and public preaching on anti-abortion. These are some of the most familiar protests, and we have all been witness to these tactics several times over. But does protesting really function in generating change? Protests have been used to ignite reform since the 16th century with the first recorded protest: the Protestant Reformation. Protests take on a range of different forms, but they all express a similar purpose. Raising awareness is their primary goal;

creating movement is secondary, and not all protests are successful in doing so. Ultimately, I believe in the power of protest; I think that protesting is an influential form of communication that should never be overlooked. Protesting empowers the citizen who feels voiceless. Protesting has led to many changes that have been of incredible benefit. I feel like protesting may be often seen as a stereotypical characteristic of hippies, but what would the world look like without the people who are willing to stand up for what they truly believe? The protester’s role is to challenge a current or upcoming policy, idea, movement, or system in a such a way that it creates attention and a public forum for debate in the community or media. After awareness has been raised, the next step is for reformation. If a protester can actively engage other believers in their cause and subsequently generate change, the protest will have reached its underlying goal. But I believe that, no matter what, all protests, no matter how big or small, achieve somewhat of a ripple effect in the larger scheme of things. I admire the courage that goes alongside a protester; better yet, I envy their courage and admire their willingness to confront their opposition with confidence despite social norms. Sometimes this ends tragically, as it did in Greece this past week. But above all, I believe in the importance of standing up for what we believe in, and letting our voices be heard, no matter who is listening.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

The lab science requirement The science requirement is good for you! is a waste of time. ANTHONY BIONDI

THE CASCADE

Why do we care about science? That’s the real question here for most of us arts students. I’m an English major and have also had to look, puzzled, at some of the course requirements for my degree. Call me trusting, but I fully appreciate the strange torture that odd requirements bring into my life. I’ve heard the complaints before. “Why do I have to take a lab science?” they whine, “I’m in the arts program for a reason!” I see this as laziness. Sure, it doesn’t seem that important to you and your fantastic literature degree, where you can read tons of books and comment on them. But let me tell you a little thing about the world outside of those books. The scientific process is an important skill that is applicable to almost any aspect of life. It is the knowledge of how to deduce a solution through a breakdown of what works and what doesn’t. The concept sounds simple, and I’m sure that it’s possible to figure it out alone, but the practice and knowledge behind each required-lab-science-experiment are valuable lessons in both problem-solving and data acquisition. How does this apply to you, Jimmy-ArtsDegree-Pants? It’s simple. It doesn’t matter where we choose to go in our careers; problemsolving is an ever prevalent aspect of life and knowing how to solve these problems is an invaluable skill. This isn’t even to mention all the cool things you can learn over the course of these requirements. Remember: all knowledge is good knowledge. When I first saw that I had to take a philosophy course, I was not a happy camper. But I did the course. And you know what? I was pleasantly surprised. It was useful in many aspects of my daily life, and at the very least taught me how to do proper research, including how to separate things that are credible and not credible. Very important to know, and I might have missed out on that experience if it weren’t for

the reasoning requirement that forced me to take the class. As an alternative to the lab science requirement, people have been mentioning to me that language classes should count, since they also contain a lab. Well, I look at this option and scratch my head. Sure, it’s fun and practical. A second language is forever useful in this growing and diverse world. But you will still learn nothing outside of your current knowledge base of literature or art. Secondly, you will learn nothing in regards to the scientific process and its benefits to problem solving. This isn’t to say that the knowledge you’ll gain from a language course isn’t also vast and exciting, and I still highly recommend everyone take a language course, but in the end, you need a lab. You need the knowledge that comes with the sciences. So I have a simple message for those Arts students that don’t want to do science: suck it up. Get it over with. Don’t go whimsically through life, blissfully unaware of the fruits of the scientific process. It is a rewarding venture. You may find that you enjoy it. You may never again need to know what a Golgi body is, but you will need to know how to properly break down a problem and secure a reasonable conclusion. You don’t really have a choice about it, but I encourage you all to not only take a science course, but to go into it with a happy heart and an open mind. Learn something new for once. Maybe you’ll even thank me.

DESSA BAYROCK

THE CASCADE

I’m an English major, just finishing up the third year of my degree, and I have a confession to make: I have yet to take my first-year lab science. After this semester, I will have finished every other non-English requirement my degree specifies, some more grudgingly than others, but at the end of the day I’ve buckled down and gotten it done. But for some reason, I keep shirking away from the lab science. It repulses me. It grates me the wrong way. I have shirked for four years and I wish I could continue to shirk, but push has come to shove and I have to get it done. I am currently enrolled in Geography 102 for the summer semester. Wish me luck. But this entire process of procrastination begs a simple question: why am I so opposed to taking a lab science? And this, in turn, begs another simple question: why do I even have to take a lab science in the first place? It’s not that I hate science; up to the last moment of grade 12, I was seriously torn between chemistry and English, and even now I recognize that here is a very real need for scientists and researchers in our society. I wish them the best of luck. And It’s not that I’m buried so deeply in books that I can’t see the bigger picture; I swallowed my medicine and understood that

past requirements were good for me, even if I didn’t have a burning desire to take them. I’ll admit it: many of these classes forced on me by requirements taught me things I wouldn’t have learned otherwise. Many argue that this science requirement performs exactly the same function. So why am I so disgruntled about taking this class? There is a huge difference in the thoughtprocess behind learning science and learning humanities. Science is far more black and white: you’re either right, or you’re wrong. There is only one atomic weight for chlorine, and it’s going to stay that way forever. This is in direct contrast to English, where new ideas are always being developed and there is an endless amount of material that can be contrasted against itself. Pardon the pun, but it’s a far more organic process than any science class – at least at the first-year level. There is far more freedom to try new things and flesh out new ideas. In a laboratory, on the other hand, if you try out new things there is a very real possibility that you will cause an explosion. I’m not interested in taking a first-year science because I know that I will have to spend a lot of time memorizing a lot of black and white information I will never use again. You can argue that I need time to “explore” and “learn about the scientific method,” but let’s be realistic: I did that in high school. If I had an aptitude or a passion for this stuff, I would have discovered it by now. Being forced into yet another lab science “for my own good” seems like backtracking, especially when I could use that same time poring over other concepts, in English, that really spark my imagination. Yes, I’ll suck it up and take my lab science, and yes, I’ll try to enjoy it while I’m there. But I’ll continue to resent the hell out of this requirement until I put on that ridiculous hat, walk across the stage, and receive a degree – especially while purchasing what I’m sure is an absurdly expensive geography textbook.

The lost humanity of modern slavery RASLEEN UPPAL

CONTRIBUTOR

Modern-day slavery, also known as human trafficking, occurs everywhere. According to Aaron Cohen in Slave Hunters, slavery didn’t disappear when it was abolished by law. “It more like fell off our radar,” he says, “went underground and changed its face.” Human trafficking is a form of slavery practiced throughout the world today; many children, men and woman are globally “recruited” into this business through abduction, deception or abuse of power and transported to private locations for the purpose of exploitation, slavery and forced labour. There are volunteers in many organizations making tremendous efforts to stop this insidious business, but nothing stops the trafficking. The one most powerful authority in every country must get more involved; the government needs to increase the amount of funding given to non-profit organizations, educate everyone on the issue (especially the poor) and make the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime Protocol (UNODCP) stricter. By modifying these issues, governments can reduce the estimated rate of 1.2 million children being trafficked each year around the world by half.

Image:sf-hrc.org

As a role model for the sorts of changes that must take place, the government of Nebraska is offering support for those taking action to prevent trafficking. Amanda McGill of District 26 had developed the Nebraska Prostitution Intervention and Treatment Act in 2005, “but the government vetoed funding for it two years in a row.” The governor claimed that the funds should not be given to someone who has an illegal problem but instead to someone with a substance abuse problem. Organizations need the money to get victims out of the trafficking businesses, put them into rehabilitation centres, and provide the education they need. Sometimes the only way to help the victims is to buy the

victims out of the system, and even then that doesn’t necessarily save them. Julia Ormond, the president of Asset Campaign, told the public about a testimony of a young girl. “I remember in particular one girl … [who] wasn’t crying because she had been forced into the sex trade … She was crying because after her rehabilitation … she had nowhere else to go.” Without the government providing more money, many victims will not receive the full support they need. They will eventually return to being victims of trafficking. This is the reason that money is also needed to educate the poor on this topic. Many families cannot afford an education for their children and as a result are illiterate in what happens around them. Without being exposed or educated about those who have different intentions, the victims easily get themselves trapped in this business. When a stranger says they can provide a job and a safe place to live, these victims are innocent and believe the stranger, not knowing their true intentions. With funds supporting education, especially in poorer regions, their understanding can mature and they will never fall into these traps. Education is necessary in all re-

gions; trafficking is not only occurring in third-world countries but also in developed countries and in North America. Benjamin Perrin, as associate law professor at UBC, explained that Ontario is one of the top destinations for foreign victim-trafficking in Canada. It basically comes down to the fact that if people don’t know about it, they will never notice it. The American government has taken action against human trafficking, but it isn’t enough. They have created the UNODC protocol, a legal documentation that includes a three-tiered system ranking countries in how active they are in fighting trafficking. Countries that are placed in the third tier for more than three years get cut off from the nonhumanitarian American aid. Before being placed on the third tier, many countries are put on a watch list for two years, unless there is a special political waiver. In a recent Mizzima News article it stated that when the US created a report to protect trafficked victims, China was given this political waiver. In this case China has been granted this special waiver several times, and it has been on this watch list for seven years total. Even though China’s population is largely affected by this issue, they keep denying help from the American government. This shows

how little China is concerned about the trafficking and the effect on its people. By making the UN protocol stricter, and enforcing harsher penalties on countries that don’t comply, situations such as this will not occur and more countries will become motivated to get ranked as first tier. Although trafficking in developed countries deals mostly with the import side of the business, the issue remains the same. In the world today there are more victims of modernday slavery than there have ever been before. Completely stopping the trafficking would be a dream come true, but we all know that’s a long way away, if possible at all. However, through action, the government can at least lower the rates of people being trafficked. This industry has profited by billions of dollars. As blogger Emily, on Just trying to navigate the world with elephant grace reported, “Not even Starbucks, Google and Nike combined make a profit close to the trafficking industry.” But with the government investing more of their funds to prevent trafficking, and the UN making their protocols stricter, maybe these victims can be given their lost humanity back.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

OPINION

Where is the compassion? SEAN EVANS

THE CASCADE

The issue of abortion brings out the fiercest rhetoric in people. Whenever the issue surfaces, people on both sides of the issue become obstinate. As the modern debate has now raged for decades, both sides have lost sight of the humanity of this issue. Both sides cite science, morality and human-rights, and both sides decry the other as morally corrupt and horribly out of touch with reality. If we are to make any ground on this issue, we must take a step back and realize that this is ultimately a human issue. Those who find themselves in the pro-choice camp ought to take a moment to consider the views of their opponents. If you were aware that the secret murder of millions of innocent individuals was occurring — and legally—each year, would you not earnestly work against it? Would you not take to the streets to make sure that everyone knew this was happening? Perhaps some patience and understanding is in order, or at least an acknowledgment of the character it takes to hold so strongly to a belief widely considered out of touch and misogynistic. Consider the frustration that they must endure when told that they are squelching the human rights of women, still firmly believing that they are fighting for the human rights of millions of unborn women. Perhaps some empathy is in order. I know that I speak in the context of many pro-lifers who have used distasteful and aggressive methods

in their attempts to curb abortion – including the condemnation of women (who are often single moms, impoverished and abused), violence and the use of unsympathetic rhetoric. They have taken the stance of a cold-hearted legalist, unwilling to allow for any sort of compromise. I know these people exist, but I simply ask that those in the pro-choice camp make the effort to see that there are pro-lifers with good intentions, genuine beliefs and, above all, a love of people. I reserve a strong critique for those who are pro-life, but let me put my cards on the table: I am pro-life. I believe that life begins at conception, and that abortion is the killing of an innocent human being. I believe that the value of law can be judged by how well it protects the weakest in our society. I believe our laws fail in this regard. Some situations complicate this issue: rape, incest, the health of the mother, etc. It is not my aim to argue that this issue is cut and dried; in fact, this is my critique of many pro-lifers. This is my plea to the pro-life movement: stop with the rhetoric. Stop with the polished, unforgiving, noncompromising, well-researched, icecold arguments. Take a step back and let the truth of the situation grip you; you are not going to win anyone over with your theory. In reality, rape and incest account for less than a single per cent of abortions – perhaps you could be willing to compromise, for the time being, on this issue. Perhaps allowing some breathing room for that single per cent, compared to the vast number of abortions that are made for con-

venience, would be a good start. Perhaps instead of polishing your philosophical argument, you could work on generating awareness of and promoting other options – adoption topping that list. Abortions made as a result of a health risk to the mother are around three per cent of total abortions, based on American Statistics. It is not the place of pro-lifers to question decisions made by people in situations where a woman is forced to make a heart-wrenching decision between her health and the life of her baby. Many in the pro-life movement are Christians. For those that are, perhaps you would do well to heed the example of Jesus who, when questioned by Pilate before his crucifixion, “opened not his mouth.” Being right is not paramount. Winning arguments, while losing the hearts of people listening, will accomplish nothing. Ultimately, the issue comes down to one question: is a fetus a human being? If so, one must face the fact that our society is allowing the widespread murder of millions. If not, then the issue is irrelevant and should be tabled for good. In either case, let us take this issue seriously; according to Statistics Canada, for every 100 live births in British Columbia, there are 35.4 abortions (2006). No matter what side we stand on, we need to see this as a human question; let us all argue with genuine concern and let us all have compassion towards our enemies.

Fungi might eat plastic, but cannot save the world ANTHONY BIONDI

THE CASCADE

We are a wasteful society; it’s a well-known fact. We throw away mountains of plastic that evolve into landfills – an issue that does not have a foreseeable solution. When one gets full we just move somewhere else. To make it worse, plastics take a very long time to break down; they sit in landfills, disrupting our ecosystem. As these mountains of discarded plastic grow higher, they represent a problem that will only get worse over time. But according to a Digital Journal article by Anne Sewell, a group of students from Yale University found a fungus that digests and breaks down plastic. In other words, a fungus that can eat the plastic that lives under our landfills. A simple solution to the problem of our overflowing garbage? It could be. I think it’s a terrible idea. Sure, we have so much garbage we don’t know what to do with it – but is the introduction of a foreign organism the right choice? Bringing this fungus (known as Pestalotiopsis microspora) into an environment that isn’t adapted to it could have numerous negative effects on our own native ecosystem. It might have the ability to solve one of our greatest problems, but in the end it may ruin more than it fixes. It is well understood that introducing new species into a new environment can cause problems, and this fungus is just the sort of wild

Image:reUSable/flickr

card we don’t need. There are already a variety of animals that live around our landfills and other types of plants as well. These species are vital to our own ecosystem and its own natural balance; anything new threatens that fine balance. This new fungus may end up being poisonous to certain animals or plants here; it may secrete some sort of terrible chemical as a byproduct of plastic digestion that negatively affects birds or plants or subterranean animals; it may end up adjusting to an unexpected food source that is not plastic, something that is a primary food source to some other animal, and upset the food chain that way. I believe that bringing this new fungus northward to deal with our own wasteful habits is a poor decision. We have so many other solutions that have been developed in order to combat the buildup of

wasteful plastic. There are new biodegradable plastics that have a lowered decomposition time, and there have been interesting developments in Japan resulting with a machine that can convert plastic into gasoline, and we could simply use less plastic. In the end, we don’t need this fungus to break down our plastics for us. It’s taking the easy way out to solve a problem that we don’t want to find another solution to. Why turn to a fungus to do our dirty work, when it is us that should be doing something about this problem? I, for one, don’t want to introduce a potentially destructive force into our environment when it isn’t necessary. It may be an interesting find, but I’m afraid that’s all it is. We need to find our solution elsewhere.

Allowing animals a dignified existence NADINE MOEDT

CONTRIBUTOR

The American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) met in Vancouver this February, attracting scientists and journalists from over 50 nations. A wide variety of topics were addressed, but gaining the most publicity was the introduction of a bill entitled “Declaration of Rights for Cetaceans.” Since the conference, the issue has sparked controversy and made headlines around the world. The basic idea of this declaration is to give cetaceans the title of “non-human” persons, thereby giving whales and dolphins the same ethical considerations as humans. A right to life, privacy, and freedom are included in this document. It is thought that dolphins and whales are second only to humans in their level of intelligence. Like humans, they are highly social beings, and consistently demonstrate self-awareness, compassion and individuality. Dolphins have long been known as altruistic creatures, and they often assist other species in need. This bill, first drawn up in May 2010, states that “no cetacean should be held in captivity or servitude, be subject to cruel treatment, or be removed from their natural environment.” It goes on to state that “no cetacean is the property of any state, corporation, human group or individual.” In October 2011, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) sued SeaWorld, accusing the aquatic amusement park of violating, under the 13th amendment of the U.S. constitution, the rights and freedom of five Orca whales. While the case was eventually thrown out, the issues brought to attention by PETA’s suit should not be dismissed so easily. Comparatively, a whale in an aquarium experiences the same sensory deprivation that a human experiences when locked in solitary confinement. Ingrid Newkirk, president of PETA, states that the whales are “denied freedom and everything else that is natural and important to them while kept in small concrete tanks and reduced to performing stupid tricks.” It is, PETA maintains, nothing less than slavery. Should these creatures continue to suffer simply for our entertainment? Why don’t cetaceans already have a right to life? Shouldn’t all living things? Why do we feel, simply because we are human, that we have priority over all other creatures on this earth? Intelligence is not the only factor. Compare a mentally-challenged child who has little cognitive function to a chimpanzee, for example. Why does the child have the right to live and the chimp not? Should IQ be a measure of one’s worth? Perhaps it all comes down to the myth of creation. Typically, in a religious system, God (or gods) create(s) the earth and mankind. Mankind, the centre of the universe. Evolution, at least how it is popularly interpreted, takes the same perspective. Single-celled beings in the ocean grew legs and lungs, crawled out of the water and a billion years later, here we are. The final, triumphant product. The myth is propagated everywhere; it’s not “save the wildlife,” it’s

Image:Jill Lamb

“save our wildlife.” We build where we want, eat what we want, and live how we want. Yes, we are arguably more intelligent than our fellow living creatures, as indicated by our highly developed nervous systems and complex structures of ethics and morals (most of us). But how does that give us the right to exploit the creatures that don’t have these qualities? We need to take a leaf out of Uncle Ben’s book here: “With great power, comes great responsibility.” And we need to take this message seriously before it’s too late. The proposal of a Declaration of Rights for Cetaceans has received much criticism. The archbishop of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver, in an interview with The National Post, said that the issue distracts from other more important problems.“I sometimes wonder whether we’ve got our priorities mixed up when we treat animals and the environment with more respect than human beings,” he said. What I think the Archbishop does not realize is that we are animals and the earth is our home, which we as human beings cannot exist without. Even if we are so selfish as to think only of ourselves, we should realize that we have to respect the home (and its variety of life) that sustains us if we want to continue to survive. Why couldn’t a declaration of rights extend, within reason, to all living creatures? This is not such a radical idea. Animals that we kill for our own benefit (I am making a concession here, assuming that we would not all be vegetarians) could have their own category. Cattle raised for slaughter should at least have the right to a happy existence before we take their lives. Chickens should be allowed to see the light of day. Pigs should not be confined to a space which does not allow them to even turn around (see Jonathan Foer’s Eating Animals.) Simply because these animals are not “intelligent” by a human’s standard does not justify their mistreatment. All we would be allowing them is a right to a dignified existence. The Declaration of Rights for Cetaceans should be enshrined in law just as rights for humans are. It is a simple question of compassion. The proposal is a small but significant first step. Perhaps our species is finally opening up to the idea that we are not the only creatures on this earth with the inherent right to a life of dignity.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

OPINION Letters to the editor THIS IS CAMPUS POLITICS Scott Bishop For so many, this campus is just a place to park your car when you go to class. This is why the student body was given a chance to inject more funding into campus recreation and athletics. Students should be able to have fun while waiting for that brutal 8:30-10:00 p.m. class. As Chart-1 shows, the student body voted for more fun in record numbers, yet you can’t have it ... But why? Chart – 1 : A sample of Issues and Elections Voted on in the 2011-2012 Academic Year (per cent is based off of total population – votes/10,000 students) Electing President Carlos Vidal: 318 votes (3.18 per cent) Electing Daniel van der Kroon: 104 votes (1.04 per cent) Student Union Building Referendum: 599 for, 351 against; 950 total 9.5 per cent Campus Recreation Referendum: 849 for (54 per cent), 701 against (46 per cent); 1550 total votes (15.5 per cent) Let’s start with the issues brought forth by second year criminology student Dan Crich, issues that were published in the March 28, 2012, edition of The Cascade newspaper. Specifically, Crich was up in arms about the advertisement and engagement polices used when holding any referendum, feeling that “there was an obvious lack of effort to get information [regarding the campus recreation referendum] out there.” Crich was ridiculously specific in

citing SUS referendum policy, stating that he felt the spirit of holding an information session one week prior to voting wasn’t fulfilled properly. The information session was held on a Friday, and voting began on the following Monday. Moreover, Crich also took aim at the SUS policy regarding the display of SUS-approved posters (the policy states that 50 posters must be hung in the Chilliwack and Abbotsford campuses). Here’s the punch line: Dan Crich couldn’t confirm that the poster bylaw had even been broken so instead he argued that the posters ‘blended in’ and that the ‘classically designed’ posters were not made to actually generate awareness. Has Dan Crich ever seen a UFV bulletin board? Does he realize that no matter how marketable a poster appears, if some student covers it up with a textbook ad, it doesn’t really matter what the poster looks like anymore? And do I really need to re-state that the posters were SUS-approved? What’s even funnier is that SUS Communications Director Jim Burwell was quoted by The Cascade (March 28, 2012) in saying that the information session upheld the bylaws, as “the spirit [of the by-law] is, and always has been, within the week before [the referendum].” Unsurprisingly, Crich went on to attack the efforts of the athletes and other students who made announcements to their classes, arguing that this implies that the entire student body wasn’t informed. In the real world, these athletes and students are just volunteering their time to

ensure people actually vote – kind of like oh, I don’t know … real campaign volunteers. Clearly this record setting voter turnout wasn’t a land slide victory (54 per cent to 46 per cent), which means that the people who actually did vote must have been informed enough via the ‘classically hidden posters’, the ‘shady information sessions’ and so forth. In a vote this close, it’s safe to say the students made up their own mind. Despite all of Crich’s arguments, a statement released by Burwell indicated that the “Athletics and Student Life Departments exceeded all the requirements of the SUS Referendum Policy”, and yet this record setting referendum will not be acted upon. Why? Let’s ask SUS VP Academic Dan van der Kroon. As it turns out, van der Kroon was the one who just so happened to discover (after the referendum had passed, no less) that in order for a referendum to be held, you need 75 per cent of the SUS board to vote in favour of holding the referendum, otherwise the results of said referendum are null and void. Here’s the good part: van der Kroon wrote a guest column for http://www.abbotsfordtoday.ca on June 23, 2011 titled “Abbotsford Council Employing Selective LongTerm Thinking.” In this column, van der Kroon slammed Abbotsford City Councillors for their decisions in using tax payer money to fund the Abbotsford Heat hockey team. Van der Kroon openly stated in this column that he’s “certainly been known to

indulge in being a hockey fan [himself] ... But it should remain a sport, not a business. Especially not a publicly operated business.” Clearly, if van der Kroon feels that sports “[distract] from the issues that really affect [the citizens of Abbotsford]”, how do you think he is going to feel about a referendum that asks the student population for a 3 per cent increase in tuition that will directly fund campus recreation and athletics? Although Mr. van der Kroon can only speak for himself, we do know it was he who brought the frivolous “75 per cent board approval” technicality to the attention of Mr. Burwell. Obviously, the actions of Mr. van der Kroon benefit the minority of students who voted not to be taxed an additional 3 per cent. Furthermore, these actions completely undermine the motto of the SUS – ‘your say, your way’; and also undermine all the other referendums held by the SUS. Speaking of which, why don’t we take the same technicalities and frivolous arguments presented by Crich and van der Kroon and apply it to the SUS building referendum. I mean, the voting turn out was significantly lower when compared to the campus recreation referendum, and was much more in favour of having the building undergo construction. Kind of makes me wonder about those ‘classically designed’ building referendum posters. In fact they were so ‘classic’ I didn’t even want to read them … Is it possible that the SUS was playing the same dirty tricks as the athletic department?!?! Now, I know what all you nay

sayers are thinking “Scott, get a grip! We followed those policies to a T! And we don’t want to take away from a building that would promote campus community!” Well I don’t want to take away the voice of 15.5 per cent of the student population, but hey, hypocrisy is what it is. In closing, for three days a large body of people showed that they are passionate about developing this campus into more than just a place to park your car while you learn. The majority of those who took the time to be engaged in this topic decided that we need to be like every other university in Canada and give funding to campus recreation and athletics. If you still think campus recreation doesn’t deserve your money, you should probably check The Globe and Mail’s 2012 University Report Card. As a collective whole we decided we wanted to catch up to the likes of SFU, UVIC and UBC. Now, this action plan (along with multiple varsity teams) has been put into jeopardy due to cut-throat, hypocritical politics. Currently (March 30, 2012), the SUS board is mulling over the idea about re-holding the referendum. I vote for an inquiry into why this technicality wasn’t brought to light before the referendum even happened, and demand that the SUS board up-hold the results of the first referendum. That is, if my vote still even counts.

LETTER-TO-THE-EDITOR Response by SUS VP academic, Daniel Vander Kroon Regarding the A & W referendum, I first want to say that personally, I believe the existence of varsity sports teams is one of the very best aspects of campus life, giving students the opportunity to excel in their chosen sport. Though I am not on any of the teams, I run, cycle, swim, and enjoy the odd soccer game myself, and feel a very strong sense of pride over the accomplishments of our athletes. Losing any of our varsity sports teams would be a tragedy that government funders of post-secondary education cannot allow to happen. Currently, UFV students do have unlimited access to a wide range of athletic and fitness programs at a trivial $5 per semester embedded inside the U-PASS through the respective recreation centres in Abbotsford, Mission, and Chilliwack, and I would personally be reluctant to pay a fee of approximately $50 that is at least partially redundant when I already receive excellent services for only $5. With this model, there may be a slight loss of on campus activity compared to theoretically having all fitness and recreation in-house, but in structuring health and wellness programs, I also consider the important principle of being well-rooted and connected with the broader community. Read UFV’s founding and guid-

ing documents, and you will find that strengthening and interacting with the broader community is one of UFV’s priorities, and U-PASS allows us to do that. Were I a prospective student choosing a university, I would be very impressed that UFV students have chosen to stand apart from other universities and save money by furthering the strong twoway relationship between UFV and its partner communities, instead of choosing the expensive and developmentally limiting option of trying to make UFV function as an island unto itself. Surely the nominal $10 two-semester fee provides excellent value for money in allowing UFV students to efficiently utilize community services instead of paying for similar services to be created on campus? When the U-PASS is renegotiated, perhaps students will choose to remove the recreation component of the deal, but replacing a $10 fee with a $60-$140 one at this time might prove a very unpopular move, considering that the U-PASS received almost as many Yes votes (1320) as voted in the A & W referendum in total (1550). In my discussions with many students, what is clear is that many members personally felt blind-sided by the occurrence of the referendum, many not finding out about it until the referendum had already happened, and further, that I completely understand that as busy students,

we don’t always have the time to be as aware of governance issues as we would like to. In an ideal world, should students be more engaged? Yes. Considering most students balance school with part-time work and a family life, is it really realistic to label this categorically as apathy? I suspect not. In addition to being personally more than willing to paying the additional 3 per cent of tuition if we did not already receive very good services by partnering with the public sector, I am personally more than willing to support this question going back to referendum in the Fall 2012 semester. I won’t vote Yes to the additional fee in the referendum itself as long as the U-PASS provides the coverage it does, but I believe that having the chance to choose is a good thing. At such a time, I would also ask my fellow students to consider that under the current model, not only do the approximately 20 per cent or less of students who typically vote impose a fee on the more than 80 per cent who don’t (we can’t assume that not voting is necessarily apathy), but they also impose that same fee on thousands of students in future years who will not have a chance to vote on paying the fee or not. When you vote, please understand the choice you are making. The impression exists that I alerted the Society to the matter of the failure of this referendum to comply with the Society’s own bylaws.

Not so. For the sake of confirmation, I merely asked to see the motion which authorized the referendum. The Society internally and retrospectively realized that in fact according to SUS bylaws, a 75 per cent majority was required rather than a 50 per cent. Had I not asked a question which happened to highlight the discrepancy, the society could have been in the very awkward position of, for instance, having an irate student, unhappy over paying the additional 3 per cent fee, find the discrepancy after paying their tuition, also nullifying the fee and forcing the university to issue a 3 per cent of tuition refund to hundreds or even thousands of students. To those who question the Student Union’s actions in abiding by their own bylaws, I would ask what purpose there is in having bylaws to govern a society if we selectively choose which ones to apply and which ones to ignore depending on the circumstance? I very much doubt that SUS members wish the SUS to carry out society business in that way. For instance, the society rigorously observes the bylaws regarding quorum for both board and general meetings. Societal turmoil would ensure if it was decided to sometimes observe the bylaw and not other times. As well, Part 3 (2) of the SUS Governing Manual says, “Membership fees may only be changed by provisions of this Bylaw.” Imagine selectively applying that particular

bylaw. I believe that whimsically and selectively applying bylaws as some recommend is antithetical to the spirit of having bylaws in the first place. May I also suggest that nothing will be lost in going back to referendum in the Fall semester, with potentially a lot gained. A Fall vote will provide the opportunity for a fuller and more extensive information campaign that allays any complaints around insufficient information, and if students still feel that this is the right choice for them, they will return the same positive result. I want to thank every student who has participated in this discussion and who voted in the referendum, as through your involvement you are helping to build a healthier and more vibrant UFV that is an asset to the communities of the eastern Fraser Valley. In closing, please take note that the reason the lack of funding for varsity sports teams that have always been funded to date is even an issue is because of reduced funding for post-secondary education. This is putting upward pressure on tuition rates that have already increased significantly since the freeze on tuition rates was lifted in 2005. In Quebec, where tuition rates are significantly lower than in BC, students are rioting in the streets by the thousands to protest the increasing cost of attending post-secondary - not rolling over and volunteering to foot the bill themselves.

Now Hiring: Opinion Editor The Opinion Editor of The Cascade is responsible for assigning, collecting, editing and laying out the content of the Opinion section of The Cascade. The Opinion Editor shall ensure that issues relevant to students are presented in his/her section. The Opinion Editor is also required to write one opinion article per issue.

Qualifications: 1) Must be registered in at least one credit course during the fall/winter semester. 2) Must be available to work varying hours. 3) Must be present in the office for a minimum of five hours a week during publishing weeks. 4) Must be able to interact effectively with Cascade and university staff, students and the general public. 5) Opinion writing experience is an asset.

6) Must demonstrate strong command of the English language by passing an editing test, which will be administered during the interview process. 7) Must have an interest in and a rudimentary under standing of journalistic practices. 8) Basic literacy is required. Rate of pay: $100 per issue Please send a resume, cover letter and sample opinion article to: ali@ufvcascade.ca

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

ARTS & LIFE

CROSSWORD 1

A very superstitious Friday ACROSS

3. Over the shoulder, into the eye (4 letters) 5. Shatter and face tears for seven years (6 letters) 6. This day of the week is known to bring misfortune on the 13th (6 letters) 8. If you see it, pick it up (but not for much longer) (5 letters) 11. This tilted architecture tends to defend against flying broomsticks (5, 6 letters) 13. Never open one inside, no matter how the sky may cry (8 letters) 14. This animal’s footwear tends to always catch misfortune (9 letters)

9 10

DOWN 1. Walking under this might cause a change in fortune (6 letters) 2. Three of this green is easy to find while four tends to take more luck (4, 4, 6 letters) 4. Try to avoid this famous pet’s path (5, 3 letters) 6. To sleep with this overhead, you might as well be dead (4, 4 letters) 7. This climbing vine keeps the evil from inside (3 letters) 9. This common kitchen herb is also a witch-repellent (8 letters) 10. A death tends to follow this tea leaf design (5 letters) 12. A murder of these tends to go right over our heads (5 letters)

CHRIS DOYLE CONTRIBUTOR

LAST WEEK’S Answer Key Across 1. Protest the Hero 4. Said the Whale 6. Great Big Sea 8. Wintersleep 9. Neil Young 10. Michael Buble 11. Tokyo Police Club

Down 2. The Tragically Hip 3. Our Lady Peace 4. Stars 5. Dan Mangan 7. Metric

14 EclipseCrossword.com

Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18 Don’t worry. You’ll find a summer job – one of these summers.

The Weekly Horoscope Star Signs from the Sumas Sibyl Gemini: May 21 - June 21 April is the cruellest month. Be prepared for memory mixed with desire. What? Ask Eliot.

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 22

Spring has sprung, the grass has riz, I wonder how your GPA is…

Pisces: Feb 19 - March 20

Cancer: June 22 - July 22

Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21

You can make it through the exams. You’re the little engine that could – you know you can. Or you’re the Hindenburg. One of the two.

Sitting and studying all day + Easter candy = yeah, that’s right, time to get off your ass and start exercising there, chubby bunny.

It’s mating season. Time to do it like they do on the discovery channel.

Leo: July 23 - Aug 22

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21

Mario and Luigi were looking for you. They say you have some mushrooms?

You’re going to be stranded on an island with nobody but a volleyball for company. Unfortunately for you, the volleyball is a jerk.

Aries: March 21 - April 19 The Easter Bunny is wondering who the hell ate her children. You should probably lie low for the next couple of weeks. Taurus: April 20 - May 20

Virgo: Aug 23 - Sept 22

Think you’re stressed now? If you’ve signed up for the short semester this summer, this is only the warm up.

Wine. That is the solution.

Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19 It’s up to you. You can study, or you can watch season two of Game of Thrones. The question is – which will you remember long after you’ve graduated? That’s right, just go for GOT.

Visit us at www.monktucky.com!

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

ARTS & LIFE

Dine & Dash:

9178 Glover Rd, Fort Langley 604.882.5057

Prices: approximately $10 for a meal Hours: 8:30 a.m. to 6.00 p.m. every day

JENNY PITTMAN

CONTRIBUTOR

Needing a change from campus food and feeling the need to go back to (what some consider) a simpler time? Planet Java 50’s Soda Fountain Cafe is a ’50s diner in Fort Langley that offers a simple menu with a unique atmosphere. Just a short drive west of Abbotsford, Fort Langley has a great selection of restaurants to tempt you into taking that much-needed break from paper writing and studying for those dreaded exams. The cafe is located right on the Fort Langley strip, and there you can order burgers, fries and giant milkshakes while being tempted by your own personal jukebox filled with ’50s and ’60s music right at your table.

Planet Java 50’s Soda Fountain Cafe

The decor is fittingly ’50s style with pictures of Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and other icons that smile at you from every corner. There is also a giant life-size statue of Elvis that will transport you back to when rock and roll music was seemingly the most rebellious thing a teenager could do. Additionally, each booth has a jukebox that will play music for a quarter. The menu consists mainly of burgers and fries with amazing milkshakes and floats. They also have vegetarian burgers for the non-carnivorous folk. However, Planet Java might not be the place to go if you’re watching your diet too carefully, as the milkshakes would tempt even the strictest of dieters. The prices are reasonable and the servings are large, so be sure to bring your appetite. My family and I ordered a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets with fries and a basket of onion rings along with gigantic chocolate malt milkshakes to chase it down. The burger tasted delicious, as it was not too greasy and the toppings tasted fresh. It was also a good size, and could be eaten

The onion rings were delicious and we even found an onion ring shaped like a peace sign which we took to be an omen of good will from our dinner. The service was good, but as it’s a diner, you have to order at the counter, and the menu is written in chalk and a little difficult to read. However, they bring the food to your table freshly made and within a very short amount of time, so it’s just a matter of getting used to the different method of ordering. I would have preferred, however, if the servers were wearing roller skates and the uniforms looked a bit more ’50s like, but I’m sure not Image: Jenny Pittmaneveryone is as picky as me (although other hiswithout most of it landing on my tory majors might be). lap. The fries were good and tasted If you end up gorging yourself fresh when they came to the table. like my family and I did, there is

The Cascade Cookbook

always the option of taking a stroll down the Fort Langley strip and checking out the specialty shops close by. However, many of these stores don’t necessarily cater to student budgets, but you can always window shop and dream of the future after graduation. There is also a trail that runs along the Fraser River so you can treat yourself to a mini-vacation all within an afternoon, as long as the weather isn’t too terribly wet. I would definitely go again, but I’d go a little earlier in the afternoon, considering how early Fort Langley closes down in the spring. Even if you’re pinching your pennies, it’s still a nice place to visit, just for onion rings and a milkshake, or tasty ice cream cones on a sunny day. You’ll find that Planet Java ’50s Soda Fountain Cafe is a cute little diner if you’re looking for a change of pace from the usual sushi bar or chain restaurants that keep popping up in Abbotsford, especially if you feel the need to put on a poodle skirt and share a milkshake with that special person you are trying to impress.

Drink o’ the Week

Sherylynn Niezen’s Baking Powder Biscuits Sherylynn Niezen graduated in 2011 with her Bachelor of Arts degree. After graduation she got confused and kept signing up for classes, eventually ending up with her Bookkeeping Certificate. These skills came in quite handy as she is currently the treasurer for the Louden Singletree. Kitchens tend to make her nervous, so she makes things that are quick and simple and hard to completely ruin, like biscuits.

Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Martini

“These biscuits are possibly one of the greatest things I learned in grade eight cooking class; measurements can be very approximate and they still turn out great!” Ingredients: 500 ml flour 24 ml baking powder 2 ml salt 150 ml hard margarine 250 ml milk Directions: 1. Turn oven on to 375°F. 2. Mix the flour, baking powder and salt together in a bowl. 3. Use a pastry cutter to cut in the hard margarine. 4. Add milk and stir with a fork until everything sticks together. 5. Use a rolling pin to roll out the dough and a biscuit cutter to cut out circular biscuits of whatever size you choose. 6. Put in oven and bake for about 9-13 minutes. *If you don’t have the time or feel like rolling out the dough, don’t! Just put roundish clumps onto a baking sheet and they still come out delicious, looks aren’t important. You can also add some grated cheese to the mix before cooking to make them even tastier. If necessary, add a bit more butter or milk to suit your needs. Estimated cost: $6

Who says you can’t have your cake and drink it too?

Image: Sherylynn Niezen

1 oz vanilla vodka 2 oz pineapple juice Dash grenadine Pour vanilla vodka and pineapple juice into an icefilled cocktail shaker. Shake. Pour into martini glasses. Add dash of grenadine (for upside-down cake effect). Ideal for: Hawaiian birthdays Bad for: The French Revolution On The Cascade scale: A+

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

FEATURE

UFV Legends: Kayla Bruce

PAUL ESAU

THE CASCADE

The UFV women’s volleyball team placed third in the nation this year in the CCAA, led by the phenomenal play of fourth-year middle Kayla Bruce. While many (including The Cascade) were focusing on the men’s basketball team’s meteoric run in the CIS, Bruce was quietly wrapping up a season which would win her the following awards: CCAA All-Canadian, PACWEST Women’s Volleyball Player of the Year, PACWEST Provincial Championship All-Star, a place on the CCAA National Championship All-Star Team, and finally, PACWEST Female Athlete of the Year.

TREE FROG IMAGING

PHOTOS

The Cascade sat down with Bruce to learn a little about the person behind all this acclamation. Here’s the result: First of all, tell me a bit about your history. Where are you from and where did you play before UFV? I am from Surrey, BC, actually and I spent my first two years at Briercrest Bible College in Saskatchewan. It was very cold but I really, really enjoyed my time there. I love that school. I have a lot of good things to say about it but vocationally it wasn’t taking me where I wanted to be ... so I emailed Dennis and I decided to come to UFV ... Also, I used to play club [volleyball] for Focus and actually for Greg Russell who’s the coach of the men’s volleyball team.

How did you start playing volleyball? Why volleyball? It’s kind of a funny story, cause I played high-school volleyball in Grade 8 and I had a friend on the team who invited me to go to a tryout with her for a volleyball club. It turned out that I made the A team and she made the B team so ... I felt kind of bad. But that’s how I started and I’ve just had such passion for it ever since. I’m the oldest of four and I’m the first one to play volleyball and now my whole family is a volleyball family.

Do you play as a family sometimes? Sometimes. We get really competitive. We go to Osoyoos sometimes [to play] and my brother gets mad when the non-experienced players come in.

What are the usual teams in your family? Well I get stuck with my little brother because I’m the oldest. And then it’s the two in-between, my brother and my sister. And then we put my dad on one side because he’s not very good (laughs). He likes to think he’s good.

Does it affect the off-court relationships as well? Is it a big thing to beat the other side of the family? No, it’s all fun and games (laughs).

So do you play any other sports? I played quite a few in high school, but it got to be too much. I think when you get to grade 11 or 12 you have to narrow it down. I did track and field, basketball ... and I actually used to synchronize skate. Really? What is synchronized skating? It’s like synchronized swimming but on ice. How did you find out that you were winning the PACWEST Female Athlete of the Year? I didn’t even know and I got a BBM from one of my friends who I work with. She was like “Oh my gosh Kayla congratulations!” And I thought maybe she was talking about something else ... so I went on to Facebook later and saw someone had shared the PACWEST release.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

FEATURE So Facebook told you is what you’re saying? And then my coach phoned me the next day, I think he thought he would be the first one. He was like “Kayla guess what!” and I was like “I know!” But I’m really excited; I’ve never gotten anything like that before. I mean, anyone could have gotten it. Not anybody, you have to be female. Well obviously, but there are a lot of talented players in the PACWEST and I think I am just very fortunate. And I can’t take all the credit for myself; I have a few God-given talents. It is true, I do give the glory back to God because he’s the one who blessed me with the ability to play volleyball, and I think that’s why I succeed. I was doing some research on this award and I found that it’s actually given to the top player in one of five sports. So you were the best female player in golf, volleyball, soccer, basketball and badminton. Are you going to rub that in a bit, maybe drop it in conversation when you meet badminton players? No, I don’t even know any badminton players.

What’s been your favourite memory this year, best game, best bus ride, best prank? Our trip to San Diego over Christmas was SO much fun. It was really last minute, we got asked to go, I think it was maybe a week or two before we were supposed to leave ... we spent 10 days together in a house with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and only one functioning shower ... we made all our meals together and it was so much fun. I think by the end of it we were a little tense, but I just love my teammates and I think that’s one reason we did so well this year.

Wait, 10 of you and one shower? We had girls running back yelling “shotgun for shower!” Obviously the seniors got to go first and then it went down from there.

And you of course said “Female Athlete of the Year, so it’s my shower?” (laughs) Sometimes we were generous and reversed the order so the same people weren’t always going last.

Got it. Anything else? Originally in our bronze medal game at nationals we had lost to that team [we were playing] in the first round and we just always want each other [on our team] to succeed. We care about one another at a personal level too, so like if someone is having a rough game it hurts us too and we just want them to do really well.

Moving on to the topic of the late Athletics & Wellness Referendum, obviously your team is one of the teams on the bubble. Speaking to the student body what would you have to say about this topic? Well I was reading Scott Bishop’s article on Facebook* and I really agree with what he had to say. I mean our school is striving to be like SFU and UBC and I don’t think we can do that unless we have this referendum put in for Athletics. We’re never going to be up there with those teams, or be like those schools if our Athletics is totally separate ... I think going to college and university should be the whole package. You cheer on your sports teams, you do the extracurricular activities, intramurals and so on and you work out in your school facility. Right now you have to pay to work out here. I know you get your U-Pass, but not everyone has the ability to get to the ARC.

Do you think that if it doesn’t pass the women’s volleyball team will be cut? Yeah ... and we’re not just talking about women’s volleyball, we’re talking about golf, women’s volleyball, men’s volleyball, and rowing, because we’re all on the fence ... I think that one major way that schools find students is through recruiting for athletics, and we’re going to lose those students if we don’t have these programs.

Thanks Kayla. *Bishop’s article can be found on pg. 9 of this week’s Cascade.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

ARTS & LIFE

Album Review

Craig Cardiff – Floods and Fires KAREN ANEY THE CASCADE

CHARTS

1 2

Blondewich BLEACHED

Bastille Other People’s Heartaches

Shuffle AARON LEVY

CIVL DJ/BEARDY

Beach Velvet Beach Velvet

CIVL Radio station manager Aaron Levy is an indie kid at heart, but don’t forget that two of the first three CDs he ever bought in 1998 were Puff Daddy & The Family’s No Way Out and Ma$e’s Harlem World. Here’s some dope hip hope to check out.

Mozart’s Sister Dear Fear

Curren$y ft. Wale – “What it Look Like”

3 4 5 6 7 8

Lay Down Rotten Mask Of Malice

3 Inches Of Blood Long Live Heavy Metal

Skeletonwitch Forever Abomination

Dale Watson and the Texas Two The Sun Sessions

The Woods of Ypres Woods 5: Grey Skies & Electric Lights

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Army Girls Close to the Bone

Odonis Odonis Hollandaze Bowerbirds The Clearing Shearwater Animal Joy Erin Passmore Downtown Hey Ocean Big Blue Wave Crystal Castles Not In Love (single) Great Aunt Ida Nuclearize Me Zammuto Zammuto Grimes Visions Zeus Busting Visions

New release from a couple members of recent backpacker royalty, Curren$y released a hundred albums last year, and Wale released a star-studded yet still panned record in ’09 and is back with a more laidback feel. Swearing is everpresent here, but check out Wale’s body of work. Good stuff. Spank Rock – “What it Look Like” Original version under the same title as the aforementioned collaboration; this song made me aware of Spank Rock and DFA-raised producer Armani XXX-Change, and I’m thankful for it. Much more bangin’ here, “I’m sick wit’it, I’ll stick wit’it and in the end all these N____ go’n get with it”. Wale – “The Kramer” Wale first got recognized for this song, starting with Michael Richards’ racist rant, and delving into a well thought out and passionately presented dissertation on the use of the N-word in hip hop, and how appropriation of the term can be used in various instances, for good or bad. Spank Rock, Mos Def, Benny Blanco – “D.A.N.C.E. Remix” So fresh, this remix is killer. I defy you to find a more well versed version of this club standard from ‘06 (am I that old?). First off, to have Mos Def and Spank Rock on the same track is unbelievable. Second, their turns on this particular remix are extraordinary.

Craig Cardiff is a Canadian folk musician who hails from Waterloo, Ontario. He’s a practiced veteran of the music scene; he began releasing albums way back in 1996, with no unnaturally large break in between then and now. His latest release is the Juno-nominated Floods and Fires. It’s his first Juno nomination, but his previous work has been ground-breaking in less conventional ways; one album was released with an extra CD of sample tracks so fans could help spread his music around and another was recorded entirely using Octopod – yes, an app on the iPhone. Floods and Fires represents a recording process that occurred entirely in different rooms of Cardiff’s home. It was produced independently, with no outside funding from a record label or government grant. Presales of the album kept the recording process afloat when it would have otherwise stopped – indicating the loyal following Cardiff has accumulated. That following is well deserved. Though his music is patently innovative in presentation, it perfectly embodies a traditional folk sound. This album is thoroughly Canadian: French lyrics are thrown in casually (they’ll make you shiver with happiness when you realize you actually understood them), wide open spaces are constantly referred to in the lyrics, and any mention of geography has names only a Canadian would recognize – such as the song titled “Brandon from Ithaca.” Despite the Canadian folk flavour, this album is far from stale. The first single, “The Very Last Night of the End of the World,”

begins with sparse rhythms and a haunting riff of a female voice. Over that base, Cardiff’s voice announces itself unapologetically, forcefully speaking and gradually sinking into a more melodic tone. The song progresses, and though the instrumentation is full, the track does not get bogged down. Drums, a synthesizer, electric guitar, piano, bass guitar, a chorus of voices – the fact that the song still reads as sparse and unoffending points towards masterful arranging and engineering. The second track “Safe Here” is a meditation on the state of affairs in our large country. It asks “Am I needed here?” and answers “Yes, you are” – the overwhelming message is, as the title suggests, that despite Canada’s vast size, each citizen matters and deserves to be protected. It’s a heavy message and suggests considerations of warfare, economics

and more. However, Cardiff chose to approach this message with an upbeat tone and a sound evocative of east-coast Irish ex-pat flavour, minus the fiddle. His voice remains solemn, pulling the song away from trite territory. Despite the solemn voice, the song is upbeat and optimistic, a sure mood elevator if you don’t listen too hard to the lyrics. The album progresses in a similar fashion, ranging inoffensively from upbeat to solemn and back again, all while staying firmly in the folk category. A gem of the track that shouldn’t be lost is track 12 (there are 16, by the way – how’s that for value?). This song is called “Wait, Maybe Love,” and it’s thoroughly lovely. The sound is pure: Cardiff’s voice and an unobtrusive acoustic guitar. It’s a gentle melody, evocative of hours spent around a campfire or sitting on a cliff staring out at the ocean. The lyrics, though, are achingly intimate: they reveal whispered conversations and even explore a clichéd train station in the rain. The words are so sincere that the listener can’t help but imagine they’re inspired by a personal story. Yet, the lyrics are composed artfully enough that they’re not alienating to the average listener. A sole complaint for the song would be that it ends too abruptly – after the voice fades out, there’s a scant few chords before the track ends. It leaves the song openended, which may have been intentional – but some ears will be left wanting just a little bit more of the beautiful acoustic melody. Very rarely these days is an album actually worth purchasing in full. Artists take the recording opportunity as pressure to make sure every possible facet of their audience is appealed to, but so often tracks are ineffectual for even an open-minded listener. Floods and Fire stays true to its core sound, and though it explores many facets of that sound, it stays completely coherent. The album is upbeat, intimate, laid-back, thoroughly Canadian and a great listen – every single track. If you’re looking for some new music this summer that you’ll be proud to share with your friends, this is it.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

Mini Album Reviews

SoundBites

ARTS & LIFE

Alabama Shakes Boys and Girls

Dr. John Locked Down

Q.E.D.

Bonnie Raitt Slipstream

Positively burning up Austin at this year’s SXSW, a young outfit called Alabama Shakes set the Internet atwitter with anticipation of their forthcoming debut LP, Boys and Girls. And boy, did they ever deliver, both on the hype and the bold promise of their moniker. Album opener “Hold On” is a chooglin’, gospel-inflected, southern-fried swamp rock ditty with buckets of soul to spare. The quaint, mid-tempo intro gives way to an explosive, stutter-stop chorus that demonstrates the band’s dynamic range and killer instinct. Alabama Shakes play plenty loose but can tighten up on a hair-trigger following the downright commanding vocals of their front woman. Brittany Howard possesses a remarkable subtlety, not only unleashing a raspy, hot-blooded wail that recalls James Brown but dialling it back for the tender falsetto that opens “You Ain’t Alone.” The band is at once maximal in their fervent and vigorous performance, but minimal in their use of overdubs and garage-rock aesthetic. Mic distortion, white noise and inconsistent bpms abound, but the overall effect is a very lived-in document that captures a primal, blistering and creative energy that is all the more alive for its slight imperfections.

The doctor is in. Legendary New Orleans pianist and songwriter Malcolm Rebennack established his psychedelic voodoo persona Dr. John back in the late 1960s, and has consistently released solo albums that have mystified audiences with his own trippy take on the New Orleans’s funk tradition. His new record Locked Down, produced by Black Key’s guitarist and long-time fan Dan Auerbach in his Nashvillebased Easy Eye Studio, is full of raw R&B grooves, rambling solos and Rebennack’s legendary growl. However strange the premise of Rebennack being coaxed to record Locked Down with a group of young musicians to rejuvenate his music may seem slightly dreadful, Auerbach evades this pitfall. In fact, this record stands out as one of the best of Dr. John’s career. You can almost smell the funk coming through the speakers. Much like Bob Dylan’s Time Out of Mind or Tom Wait’s Bad As Me, Locked Down sees the 71-yearold Rebennack pushed out of a phase of relative musical stagnation with a new demeanor. Auerbach successfully maintains the beloved melodies of Dr. John, but brings out the lyrics of Malcolm Rebennack.

Winnipeg-based Q.E.D. comes out with their third album Sometimes a Cigar… Is Just a Cigar. The indie-rock band was formed in Edmonton, Alberta, in 1995. Their music is heavily driven by instrumentals, largely focused on the electric guitar. The newest album consists of an eclectic mix of eight high-energy songs. Their style is authentic in the fact that the lead vocalist takes on more of a punkinspired sound whereas the instrumentals stay true to sound of traditional rock. I found the standout song to be “Water” – the album’s first track. Sometimes a Cigar is definitely an acquired taste, as it doesn’t intend to speak to the mainstream, but rather a specific demographic of music lovers as it is an obscure and original mix of sound. Give it a listen to judge for yourself, or better yet see them live. They are currently touring around Canada to promote their newest album and will be in Abbotsford on April 19 at the Station House Bar and Grill.

Bonnie Raitt’s new album Slipstream by Redwing Records is like a smooth glass of whisky on a summer afternoon. After taking time off from the music scene and involving herself in environmental activism, Raitt has returned to making music with this latest album. The bittersweet lyrics of Slipstream reflect Raitt’s wisdom as an experienced musician; her raspy voice and timeless lyrics have the capability of appealing to listeners of all ages. The music is both relaxing and fun, as she blends blues guitar solos with good old rock and roll. Raitt, whose long background as an artist since the ’70s shines clearly in Slipstream, has created an album that shows off her talent and experience as a singer, as she blends the vulnerability of love with saucy vocals as well as guitar and piano. Refreshingly, Slipstream shows musical talent without overt synthetic sounds. “You Can’t Fail Me Now” and “Right down the Line” are definitely some favourites on the album, and worth checking out.

NICK UBELS

TIM UBELS

Sometimes a Cigar… Is Just a Cigar

PAIGE HOBLAK

JENNY PITTMAN

Through the Lens of Empowerment: Seeing Sitelines in S’olh Temexw KATE NICKELCHOK

CONTRIBUTOR/ARTIST The Sitelines in S’olh Temexw gallery opening on March 30 saw the culmination of a year’s worth of work from the Lens of Empowerment Project at UFV. During the year, I had the privilege to learn alongside the nine other women and one man who made up the Lens of Empowerment (LOE) cohort: an intergenerational, intercultural collective tasked with exploring women’s citizenship and identity in Stó:lō territory through the lens of film and photography. Around 100 UFV and Stó:lō community members attended the Sitelines gallery opening. The exhibit featured select artwork and documentary films produced by the class over two semesters. UFV senior advisor on Indigenous Affairs, Shirley Hardman, kicked off the gallery opening with an acknowledgement of Stó:lō traditional territory (S’olh Temexw) and a powerful welcoming song. We were fortunate to have Hardman, along with a variety of Stó:lō elders and teachers, act as guest lecturers throughout the Lens of Empowerment courses. The event began in UFV’s B building gallery where it was emceed by Sarah Ciurysek, one of LOE’s two Visual Arts instructors, with help from students Michelle Auton and Jennifer Janik. Ciury-

sek explained the Lens of Empowerment as being an experimental cohort brought together by UFV’s Visual Arts department and Indigenous Affairs office. After introductions, guests were then warmly welcomed to view the work of the student artists and give them feedback. Later in the program, the crowd migrated to the UFV lecture hall in B101 for Sitelines’ documentary film screening. The featured short films were either character studies of a place or biographies/autobiographies on women in S’olh Temexw. Similar to Sitelines’ gallery work, the films captured stories from a diversity of cultural communities in the Fraser Valley. Imroze Deol presented a sleek, stylized film on gender equality as told by first generation Sikh women in Abbotsford. Deol’s fastpaced edits and bangra/hip hop soundtrack was visually very different from Trina Hunt’s touchingly personal, diary-style film on powwow dancing. However eclectic, all films were united under the theme of women’s experiences. “Women are mothers, teachers, aunties and mentors,” explained Shirley Hardman in an interview with UFV Today. “The stories of every woman in Stó:lō territory have an impact on nation. The telling of these stories through photography and video strengthens connections and nurtures awareness for com-

ing generations because storytelling connects us to the land, and to each other.” As for myself, I personally signed up for Lens of Empowerment as a woman struggling to position myself within the feminist movement and greater social justice issues in Stó:lō territory. For my classmates and me, LOE provided a safe space to explore themes of identity, gender, culture, race and colonialism through personal stories made manifest in film and photography. Lens of Empowerment was born from the philosophy that individual empowerment, when captured in art, will lead to wider community transformation. “It is fantastic to be part of something larger than ourselves and so communitybased,” said LOE’s video instructor Stephanie Gould on the project blog. “We have got to know each other much better than one does in a normal course.” “This was the first set of classes where I learned everyone’s names!” said student artist Andrea Smith. “I think that Sitelines gives the community an opening to a much larger conversation.” The conversation around gender and settler-Indigenous inequalities is not always an easy one, but as Sitelines proves, it is immensely important. Sitelines in S’olh Temexw makes visible the invisible constructs of power and privilege

Image: Kate Nickelchok

through art and turns the students’ individual works into catalysts for communal dialogue. Instructor Stephanie Gould summed up the impact of Sitelines in an interview for UFV Today: “Across differences in culture, gender, and experience, this group of students has brought focused attention to stories of place, and women’s stories, through lens-based art. This attentiveness

through art to one another’s stories is as critical to understanding our diverse local communities as it is communities and home places across the world.” Sitelines in S’olh Temexw will be on display in B136 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays until April 11. Further showings are being planned for the UFV Chilliwack campus and Loughborough, England.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

FilmClips

Some summer viewing

ARTS & LIFE

MICHAEL SCOULAR

THE CASCADE

It’s easy to turn the discussion of the upcoming summer movie season into a rant or a warning or some other variant of a laundry list of complaints. But rather than pan a blockbuster or decry the next slate of sequels, the following is the case for something. These movies never made it to Abbotsford/Mission/Langley theatres this year, but that’s not based on the perceived quality or ability of them to stand as entertainment, rather that three out of the four are in a foreign language and none of them fit into an advertising agency’s dream of an easy sell. But surely that isn’t a problem for the average university student. This isn’t an attempt to steer you away from the multiplex, but an attempt to recommend something that, somewhere in between the superheroes, invasions and romances, you might consider. These are, after all, in some ways (in order) a “relevant” political satire, a romantic journey of confusion, a grotesque comedy, and an updated fairytale – though as you’ll (hopefully) see, that’s not all they are.

The Time That Remains

Certified Copy

Carnage

The Kid with a Bike

Palestinian director Elia Suleiman’s The Time That Remains travels through some of the most important moments in the long Israel-Palestine conflict, but this is hardly just a look or critique. Unlike many movies that attempt to make a point or take a stance when commenting on conflicts, The Time That Remains, while still conveying the mood of the decades of tension, does so through humour more than it does by showing atrocities. Suleiman’s film takes place from his own perspective as a child and continues through the years, but isn’t reduced to a simple autobiographical memory. The Time That Remains is marked by meticulous shots of both the perilous dealings and escapes of Suleiman’s father and, as the movies progresses, painfully funny scenes which both acknowledge the weight of the reality of the circumstances in the region and make light of the absurdity of the rules and oppression that have marked Suleiman’s life. It bears some resemblance to the comedy of Jacques Tati, only Suleiman observes the chaos created by the conflict rather than plays a role in creating it. It is a staggering, beautiful film that both mourns what has passed and brings to the surface the idiosyncratic lives and dreams that go on underneath.

Warning: if taken properly, Certified Copy will consume more than just one-and-a-half hours of your life. Following in the tradition of self-reflexive Iranian cinema, but transplanted to the streets of Tuscany with French actress Juliette Binoche and non-actor William Shimell, Certified Copy is a movie that demands multiple watches and thinking through, long after the movie has ended. Ostensibly an interrupted arts lecture followed by a meeting between the two principles, Certified Copy is more than a twist on Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise/Sunset movies, a dizzying back-and-forth on art, acting, behaving and living. The central question is that of copies: is one of any value, and if so, how is it decreased from the original. Binoche’s character’s son becomes an interrupting force in the conversation and also an ambiguous line throughout the film itself, which refuses to show its hand as to the nature of their meeting. Is this love in first bloom or a repeat of a broken relationship? Are the maneuverings of love and marriage as dependent on acting, of being the character you think others want you to be, as the film? To just ask these questions is not the same as seeing the film which lovingly, steadily moves throughout the city, as clear-eyed and unobtrusive as the dialogue is shifting, twisting, arguing, flitting between English, French, Italian. This, despite its ambiguities, is a movie about answers to questions, though that doesn’t mean they’re final.

A parental discourse of another kind, Carnage sees two couples meet to decide the fallout and repercussions after a schoolyard altercation between their two sons. On one side is John C. Reilly and Jodie Foster, and on the other Christoph Waltz and Kate Winslet. But that’s not how things stay. Based on Yasmina Reza’s play God of Carnage, Roman Polanski’s latest takes place once again in a confined space, where inner torments and repressed thoughts (here mostly the vindictive, venomous kind) take on dramatic life. The horror, you might call it, of Carnage is of how recognizable the differences between the characters, their words and what sets them off into flurries of antagonism and heartless criticism, are. Like arguments relived with the volume turned up and a marvelously absurd camera cutting through it all, Carnage, analyzable as it is, is also a movie of can’t-stop laughter, though the kind that often catches in your throat. Although it pales in comparison to something that actually investigates the residual effects parents have on children like Once Upon a Time in Anatolia, Carnage does have its lingering effects, most notably how it so easily represents our Rousseau-prescribed, Bunuel-sealed failure to see past ourselves.

The Dardenne brothers have a way of directing and showing the lives and struggles of children that fits into the tradition of European cinema, but is singular in its commitment to presenting an uncluttered, realistic and specific yet undefinable view of the world. Cyril, being raised in a foster home at the beginning of the movie, is the focus of The Kid with a Bike, but the attention is always on the people surrounding him as he attempts to find his father, find his home. How every message is interpreted, how every adult influences and is perceived by Cyril, is the subject of the Dardennes’ camera which moves through homes, streets and alleys with velocity. The most remarkable thing about the Dardennes’ films is how within their simple stories of no-plot details and only the most necessary dialogue (The Kid with a Bike is talkative compared to some of their previous work) everything is alive in a way few directors’ creations are. A thief, some kids playing soccer, the colourful salons and traffic-filled roads Cyril encounters all make an impression. The filmmakers have called this story a fairytale and in a way the label fits, but at the same time the shock of seeing a cycle repeat, an influence take hold, is what makes The Kid with a Bike a movie about growing up. While bearing the weight of a plot and holding a few notes of a score (a rarity for the Dardennes), it has an uncanny resemblance to the moments that stick out in the real thing.

Certified Copy is available to watch instantly on Netflix. All except The Time That Remains are available to rent on DVD or on iTunes. The Time That Remains will be released on DVD on April 24.

BC students launch anonymous photo dating site SEBASTIAN YOH CHERN

THE UBYSSEY

VANCOUVER (CUP) — Darryl McIvor, a recent global business graduate from the University of Victoria, will be the first to admit that breaking the ice with an attractive stranger isn’t easy. Finding that his friends and many other forlorn bachelors and bachelorettes had the same problem, McIvor created a website to smooth out the problem. Working with Frans Kouwenhoven, a University of British Columbia software engineering student, McIvor developed the website Peeked Interest, where university students can post candid photos of others in the hopes that they might see, respond and eventually meet in person. “I see and fall in love with five girls a day, but I would never have a shot at just going up to them at eight in the morning on the bus.

How responsive are they going to be?” said McIvor. “Why can’t it be sometime a little later when they might be more responsive?” Although the idea of non-consensual photography is off-putting for some, McIvor assured that it’s the only part of the affair that users won’t have control over. “You don’t give out any personal information unless you choose. When someone sees their picture, there are two options, and the buttons are right there. They can ‘Report’ it and we’ll take it down, or curiosity gets the best of them and they click ‘This is Me.’” If you select the latter, the poster can see your profile picture and then confirm that you are the person they took a photo of. If you get this far, you get to see their profile picture, UBC email address and real name. At that point, you can either never talk to them again and avoid them on campus or contact them and maybe eventually have a

complex and meaningful relationship. “Even if you’re confirmed, you’re still in control of your information. You [can] see me, and you [can] say, ‘Fuck this guy. I’m not going to give him my information. I don’t know who you are.’ Basically, you’re in control,” said McIvor. The site has already caught the attention of quite a few UBC students, receiving about 650 hits a day, not to mention a fair amount of amateur photography. “I was a little skeptical about whether people would be willing to take pictures and if they thought this was an intrusive way to meet somebody. But, honestly, from what we’ve found, people are already signing up and posting pictures,” McIvor said. McIvor and Kouwenhoven are doing their best to make sure things stay positive on the site. Peeked Interest doesn’t have a rat-

ing system or open commenting and posts are deleted if they’re deemed inappropriate or in any way defamatory. “Our ultimate goal is to have people want to be seen on the site. If you see yourself on it and somebody said something positive about you, it makes you feel good. If your friends see it, they’re almost a little jealous because they didn’t get hit on and you did,” said McIvor. “One of the biggest things for us is to try to get as much feedback now at an early stage to make people as comfortable as possible.” As of now, Peeked Interest is only available for those with UBC email addresses. However, McIvor said they’ll be opening up at UVic and Simon Fraser University in the near future. “Having that validation of actually going to university makes a big difference. You know it’s a fellow student that’s interested and not, who knows, some guy that

just gave a random name and a random email,” McIvor continued. “For the foreseeable future, we’re just going to stick with universities and expand within universities. It’s about creating small communities, which universities are perfect for because everyone’s trying to meet new people. Especially for people coming for their first and second year, where you don’t know that many people, Peeked Interest could be a good outlet.” At the end of the day, Peeked Interest is about meeting new people and giving students a chance to interact with individuals who they might be otherwise too shy, busy or afraid to approach. Who knows? You might just find yourself snapping a picture of that cute guy or girl you’ve been seeing around campus, and if the planets align in the right way — and they aren’t too disturbed — maybe you’ll finally get to talk to them.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

ARTS & LIFE

Haute Stuff LEANNA PANKRATZ THE CASCADE

Very rarely have a president and first lady been noted for their style to the point of becoming icons, but the Kennedys (that is President John and his First Lady, Jackie) cemented themselves not only politically, but sartorially with aplomb, grace and endurance. Here are a few posthumous style lessons from the great ones – yacht, country club and polo included. John: John really possessed that fashionable cool factor that led to his near celebrity status in the 1960s. Much of this had to do with his youthful demeanor and undeniable grasp on what clothes could really do. Spurning the Abe Lincoln top hat for his inaugural speech, he made waves as someone who could truly make a difference. The east coast look is perhaps one of my favourites to see on men. It’s clean, classic, sporty and quelle beau. Very few, however, have perfected the look like JFK. Countless images of the man stepping off of a sailboat, khaki pants rolled to escape the water, paired with an untucked white shirt and black Ray Ban Wayfarers with windblown hair is and will be an enduring image in style. A slim, light coloured tennis sweater was versatile throughout the seasons,

John and Jackie: That Kennedy style

and he would often throw it over a white or coloured Oxford shirt with white or beige pants. His style looked easy because he wore it so well. “The ease of his style made it really look like he didn’t think that much about it,” said men’s fashion designer Thom Browne to The New York Times in 1962. His two-button Brooks Brothers suit has endured the test of time, as well as his slightly rumpled white button down covered with a pima sweater – perfect for the sun, sand and sails. Jackie: Few first ladies have captivated the public like Jackie Kennedy. A French-by-origin debutante with a penchant for Continental style, she was first deemed too European, too inaccessible and far too couture for the once buttoned-up world of American politics in the early days of Kennedy’s campaign. After some time, however, it was discovered that she was perhaps the biggest asset to the Kennedy campaign imaginable. The public loved Jackie, and so did the fashion world. With an undeniable east coast vibe to match that of her husband, she fit right in with the Cape Cod scene that she and her family frequented. Lilly Pulitzer sheath dresses in that slimming, A-Line ‘60s style that has come back with fervor this season were perhaps her most enduring mark. These

Image: cliff1066/flickr.com

dresses came in white, black, and pastels – always paired with a pearl necklace tucked into the neckline. Her hemlines were as decent and classy as she was. She popularized the pillbox hat, Van Clef & Arpels jewelry, dark Ray Bans, white J.Crew pants and Ralph Lauren sweaters. She adored figure skimming white Chanel suits, custommade coats by Givenchy and Dior and double-breasted navy coats

paired with dainty white gloves. “I am a woman, above everything else,” she once said to Vogue magazine regarding her distinct style. “I dress myself as one.” Jackie wore what she was comfortable in, and what she was comfortable in happened to be the East Hamptons, the tennis court, the seaside and the country’s top boutiques. Her clothes fitted her life and what a gorgeous life (at

least superficially) she had. “I try to dress with courage, endurance, of course, and above all else, responsibility and taste,” she said to Harper’s Bazaar. She most certainly mastered taste. Though John was tragically killed in 1963 and Jackie passed away in 1994, they will always be remembered together as a powerful political force whose influence extended into the fashion world.

Book Review George R. R. Martin – A Dance with Dragons JEN COLBOURNE THE CASCADE

The A Song of Ice and Fire series, better known by its television adaptation Game of Thrones, got off to a great start with the first book. However, as it progressed, the series went into decline nearly as quickly as the house of Stark, hitting rock bottom with George R. R. Martin’s tedious fourth book, A Feast for Crows, which, rotten and unappealing as it was, was a feast for crows indeed. A Dance with Dragons, book five, runs along the same time-span as A Feast for Crows. When writing A Feast for Crows, Martin realized that the book was going to be much longer than the first three books and so, rather than splitting the book into two parts, he divided up the characters by location. This move is what absolutely killed the fourth book. Situated in the South of Westeros (as well as the Iron Islands), A Feast for Crows got largely saddled with the less interesting characters, the worst of these without a doubt being Brienne of Tarth. The few characters that had some potential—such as Arya Stark and Jaime Lannister—undergo such drastic changes to their personalities that they lose whatever appeal they originally had in the series. What, after all, is Arya without her spirited defiance or Jaime without his charming arrogance? Martin effectively neuters them both. As for Cersei Lannister, she has gotten even more unappealingly cruel, to the point where the reader has lost all sympathy or interest for her.

Furthermore, as there isn’t a lot of action in the South, and perhaps in an effort to draw out the book, the scenes were unnecessarily long and, frankly, dull as dirt. With A Feast for Crows being such a bore, the expectations were definitely raised for the fifth book. A Dance with Dragons has some of the best characters of the series: Jon

Snow, Bran Stark, Theon Greyjoy, and, most importantly, the dwarf Tyrion Lannister and mother of dragons Daenerys Targaryen. Also, along with this great cast of characters were supposed to be all the interesting plot developments, as the action of this time period is largely located in the North and overseas where all the major

changes are happening. It was a huge disappointment, then, to find that the fifth book was nearly as dull as the fourth. Nothing happens. Everything is slowly drawn out, hinting at great upheavals in the future – which would be fine, except this has essentially been what’s been going on for the entire series. Readers expect something marvelous—or even interesting—to happen, but are left disappointed and hanging again and again. It doesn’t help that by this point, George R. R. Martin’s bag of tricks is getting old too. He keeps trying to up the ante with more and more grotesque scenes and unexpected deaths – it’s no wonder HBO picked up the series. The characters seem to deal with trauma after trauma with unrealistic aplomb. Common sense tells us that most of these characters’ experiences would leave them psychological disasters, but at the most they may squeeze out a tear before they shrug life’s horrors off. The entire world Martin has built utterly lacks humanity, and so it is difficult to really draw close to such unrelatable, stoic characters. And, while A Dance with Dragons undoubtedly has the better group of characters, they too seem to fall away from their quintessential, endearing traits. Jon Snow and Bran Stark are downright boring and ponderously sententious; you would think they were old men, not boys. Theon Greyjoy, once proud and defiant, is pathetic and subservient. Daenerys is neither feisty nor ambitious, and sits around doing nothing and com-

plaining about it. The best of the lot is definitely Tyrion Lannister, though his abilities as an active player are seriously limited from his fall from power, and his lovable wit is somewhat dampened by his bitterness and depression. Perhaps worst of all, the book is also inconsistent, as characters who were supposed to be relegated to the fourth book start to appear in the second half of A Dance with Dragons. It seems out of place to have Arya, Cersei and Jaime show up again; logically, the ends of their stories could and should have been put in the fourth book. It doesn’t help that splitting up the characters was a bad idea in the first place. Martin should have just published the entire timeline in two parts and had all the characters dispersed throughout the storyline like the first three books. As it stands, the fourth and fifth books are anomalous and frustrating to read; in the fourth, you want to know what’s going on with the rest of the characters. In the fifth, you feel like you’re backtracking. Of course, it doesn’t help that not much is going on in either. Ultimately, like A Feast for Crows, A Dance with Dragons seems to be little more than filler; which makes sense, considering George R. R. Martin’s original intention was to make a five-year jump after book three, but found the time gap unmanageable. If you’re into the series, you’ll probably want to read book five despite its failings, but don’t expect much. All we can do is hope that Martin picks up his game in book six.

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

ARTS & LIFE

Discussions Below the Belt You’ve gotten him off – what happens now? TITS MCGEE

THE CASCADE As a follow-up to last week’s article (which can be found on my blog on The Cascade website), I thought it would be good to discuss what happens next. Because really, that article was kind of like the awkward where-do-babies come from conversation that every sitcom preteen has with their parents. (I, thankfully, was spared that discussion by my mother, who realized I would be far more likely to read a nice educational book than stomach her using the words “special lady garden.”) Yes, that article was much like the where-do-babies come from conversation – but only because the where-do-babies come from conversation never gets to the messy part. What do you do when your vagina spurts out a baby? What happens then? Yes, like with ice cream cones— seriously, read last week’s article— I like a bad analogy. At least this one won’t put you off your lunch. Jokes aside, if you’re performing oral sex on your man, and you followed my advice, you’re likely going to experience a little ejaculate. The question that we should really be asking right now is what the hell do you do with that? It’s an extremely personal question for both ends of the experience. Some men like to have the porn star experience, and spurt themselves all over their partner’s face. Or back. Or stomach. Or an-

kle – we don’t judge here, folks. To preface this next bit, let’s clarify: you can get an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) from oral sex. Swallowing semen will increase your likelihood of contracting an STI. Heck, you can get an STI if an infected person’s fluids come in contact with an open sore on your body (read: paper cut). Unless you’re into Russian Roulette, make sure your partner has a clean bill of health before you consider oral sex, and especially before you consider swallowing. That being said, some people like to avoid the mess and have their partners swallow their salty salutations. Aside from avoiding the mess, this act carries an innate sense of intimacy: there’s swapping fluids, and there’s swapping those fluids, if you know what I mean. Some partners prefer to swallow, some refuse to do so point-blank. In the end, it’s up to you – but here are some things to consider. It’s not all that bad for you. The average teaspoon of ejaculate—according to Ask Alice, off Columbia University’s health website—contains between five and seven calories. Additionally, each teaspoon contains between 200-500 million sperm – but also fructose sugar, water, citric acid, enzymes, zinc, and, yes, protein. That sounds like a pretty complete diet, but the amounts of each component is miniscule enough that you shouldn’t stop buying your meal replacement shakes. In fact,

Image: public-domain-image.com

the average load of ejaculate does not have enough nutrients to alter your diet in any way – provided, of course, you aren’t ingesting hundreds of loads per day. Again, we don’t judge, but if you do please drop us a line; that would make a heck of an interview. The taste is something that generally puts people off swallowing. However, multiple studies have shown that diet can affect the taste of ejaculate. One such study—actually presented in a video form for your viewing pleasure—is Can food change the flavour of seminal fluid, conducted by the BBC. In this study, three women were separated from their partners, who then

CASCADE ARCADE JOEL SMART

THE CASCADE Couples that play together stay together, the common mantra goes. It makes sense, but it seems that things may not always be as clear cut – sometimes gaming together can make things worse. However, by keeping certain guidelines in mind—and carefully avoiding the downfalls—couples can maximize the positive potential of gaming. Doing so can have an especially positive effect on a long-term relationship, so it’s worth keeping in mind. While gaming together seems like it would always be a positive alternative when a couple is sitting around bored, it turns out that it really depends on whether both partners are enjoying the experience. The Journal of Marriage and Family published research in 2002 that followed 73 married couples over a 13-year span. What they found is that couples that played together were more unhappy if the activities they participated in were those that only one partner enjoyed. The study also found that female partners were the most willing to participate in shared activities that they didn’t enjoy themselves. Duane Crawford, one of the researchers, explained how this could actually unintentionally sabotage the relationship. “Although women may do activities with their husbands that their husbands like but they do not

enjoy, the more time they spend in those activities, the more likely it is that they end up being less happy with their marriages,” she said. “This may be because wives find themselves doing activities that they dislike, or it may be a reflection of how well the couple gets along during these activities, or both.” Whatever the case may be, it’s clear that partners need to be open and clear about what they like and dislike, and sticking to it, rather than “sucking it up” and having a bad time. In other words, if your partner loves Call of Duty and you don’t, it’s not going to benefit the relationship to sit there with the controller and wish you were doing something else the whole time. That said, it is worth experimenting to see if you can find something to share together. Maybe Call of Duty isn’t the best one to play together, but Mario Strikers is. If you can’t seem to find something, don’t give up – your happiness as a couple may depend on it. Howard Markman, a psychologist who co-directs the University of Denver’s Center for Marital and Family studies, was adamant that it is worth the effort. “The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner,” he told USA Today in 2008, “the happier the relationship will get over time.” However, as warned about in a Gizmodo feature last week, sometimes a reliance on gaming within a relationship is even more dan-

altered their diets drastically: one ate only fruits and vegetables, one ate only seafood, and one ate only spicy and strong foods (such as garlic) for an extended period of time. The men then provided test tubes of their ejaculate for the women to drink and taste in a secluded area. Sidebar here – there’s something inherently wrong about watching someone drink their partner’s “man juice” from a test tube while sitting in an office. There was no NSFW (Not Safe For Work) tag on the video. Rude, BBC. In any case, the important part here is that the only test subject who was sure of her response was the one whose partner consumed fruits and veg-

etables. She said that the fluid tasted lighter than usual – a promising word to be sure. So, there’s definite validity to this theory: provided, of course, you can force-feed your man strawberries for a few days before you get orally intimate. Here’s some definite food for thought (sorry). Sperm has been shown to be an antidepressant. Psychologists at New York State University surveyed 293 women and found that those who had unprotected sex showed “fewer depressive symptoms and less bouts of depression.” Though the study focused on the absorption of seminal fluid through the vaginal walls, the theory could very well hold true when it’s coming (pun intended) down your throat. As mentioned by the study, semen does contain endorphins and serotonin, among other feel-happy components. So, yes, it makes sense. At the end of the day, it’s a personal choice. That being said – you’re down there anyway. You’re likely pretty into the guy if you’ve just finished going down on him. The sperm isn’t going to kill you – it’s actually probably kind of good for you – and if you hate the taste, that can be fixed, too. If you’re worried about the gag reflex factor, ask your partner to end in your mouth, not down your throat – it should help. Aside from that, my official position is this: avoid the mess and scum, swallow down his ... well you get the idea.

Play together, stay together

Image: Jenn and Tony Bot/ flickr.com

gerous than it is positive – even if it seems like the gamers’ ultimate dream. For Brent Rose and his partner Frannie, it was all about Halo. The two couldn’t stop playing together, and it really brought them together as a couple. But after finishing the campaign, all that was left, it seemed, was to play against each other. “Her victories were my defeats, and vice versa,” Rose explained. “She was competitive. I was competitive. We would size each other up and try to get into each other’s heads. We picked apart the other’s defences and strategies. We started fighting.” But it didn’t stop there. One time he beat his girlfriend so badly that she threw the controller in frustration. From that time on, he started letting her win. It was just the type of dishonesty that, while intended to help, only pushed the two apart; sure enough, after a bit of a fight Rose played his best – decimating Frannie over and over in the game. She accused him of having let her win, and when he admitted to it with a meager “sometimes,” the two were as

good as done. Yet, Rose wouldn’t give all the credit to gaming. “Halo wasn’t any more to blame for the destruction of our relationship any more than it could be credited for the building of it,” he wrote in reflection, “The holes were already there, Halo just shined a light through them.” Indeed, while there was clearly a lot more going on than just the gaming, it’s clear that it did act as a catalyst, both in how they got together and in the way they split up. Perhaps the two used the game as a bit of a crutch – relying on the enjoyment they felt in the game to bring them together as a couple. Yet, when the game stopped being fun, so did the relationship. According to a 2000 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, this principle seems to hold true; participating in exciting or arousing activities with a partner, causes the couple to associate those exciting and arousing feelings with their partner. Unfortunately for the over-reliant gaming couple, boredom and frustration have the same effect.

For Emily Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani, however, the key is set boundaries, and stay on the same side. “We play plenty of co-op games together,” Gordon tells Kotaku. “It’s a fun hobby that we can share ... I do have some on my own, my NBA game, but we mostly play together.” Cooperative gaming seems to be what works best for married couple John and Di as well, according to Kotaku. “I actually love these co-op games, and it’s really good for us,” explained Di. “We’ve been married for sevenand-a-half years now, and he still loves to hang out with me while we’re playing!” “We’ve picked up Portal 2 which is a great co-op game for couples,” explained John, “and incredibly satisfying when you have to nut out all the puzzles together.” But for the couple, one of their rules has been moderation—playing just one to two hours at a time—as well as ensuring that they don’t put the game first. “It’s all about dignity and respect,” writes Kotaku’s Patrick Stafford. “Dignity and respect for yourself, your health, your parnter and your social life. Once you have these elements in balance – there is no reason couples can’t enjoy games together for decades to come.” As obvious as it sounds, finding the balance that works for you and your partner is of utmost importance: stay honest, stay respectful and stay together.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

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ARTS & LIFE

POSTCARD LITERATURE Who wants yesterday’s paper? E.J. Harrow In the Summer of Youth’s Eclipse Evander Rimmer had set out to write his first novel. A year had now passed since he began. Evander rose at 6 AM. It was a grey morning, and the birds were outside fluttering by and chirping on the rainy street. His wife was still in bed. He kissed her on the head, and took in the aroma and smooth feeling of her shiny silky black hair on his face. He had a cup of tea on the go before rushing out to the office on one of the trams. It was cold, and he wore his longcoat with the fur collar. The office in which he worked was tall, and lined with endless desks. Upon arrival at work, he was sent on a wild goose chase concerning a corrupt politician in Ottawa. He was to track down the attorney of the man. He was new to the city of Toronto, and did not know the districts very well, and after setting up an appointment

with his latest assignment, he ended up getting lost deep in the twisted, confused bowels of the Toronto subway system. Then he found the place he needed to be – and when he got there, the man was not there as he’d said he’d be. Upon talking to the man’s secretary, he realized he’d been given the slip, and the man had flown the coop. Taken off, gone to Mexico for the day, indefinite leave. Didn’t know when he’d be back. He headed back to the office infuriated, and smoked a pack of Pall Mall cigarettes on the way, and had another cup of tea. He returned to his desk in shame and degradation. It was then he realized he hadn’t had the time to shave. An editor whose name he’d forgotten came over to Evander’s desk and smalltalked, and cracked jokes about Evander’s unfortunate surname. Evander told him he’d heard all

the jokes before, and considered telling him to promptly go to hell, but realized that he was employed at the finest paper in the city, and to do so would be to lose his job. He held his temper, and sunk back in his chair defeated. “How do you do it?” he asked the man whose name he’d forgotten. “We’re journalists,” replied the other. “You don’t ask how you do it. You just do it. Look at these clowns,” he gestured to the writer’s around the office tapping away on their word processors, and scribbling away on their notebooks. “Half of them are on amphetamines. You’re working for a daily. You don’t have the luxury of rest.” Evander frowned, and folded his arms. The other took a sip of his coffee and slapped Evander on the back. “You’ll figure it out. We all did. Relax. It’s only your first

Failure is who I am The air was a stiff sort of cold. It burned my skin and kept me shivering. The front lobby of the Sun Tower couldn’t even keep the cold out. It left me uneasy, so I drew my jacket close. The streets outside seemed to hold a silence as I plodded down the stairs onto the sidewalk, I didn’t know if it was the cold or the lack of alcohol in my blood that made it seem so quiet. The sun glared across the roofs of the buildings on West Pender. I sighed as I turned my back to the setting sun. My shadow crept ahead of me, keeping pace. I eyed it carefully, like an old enemy that had been hiding at my back for a long time. A cold billow of white from my breath passed my eyes like a puff of smoke. I pulled a cigarette from my jacket and lit it. The late evening traffic surrounded me in solidarity as I walked to my car. My fingers ached from typing, and my head ached from thinking. I needed rest, and my apartment was not the place to get it. I slowed my pace and took a long pull of my cigarette. It was too cold. Springtime was a season

of inconsistency. A truck rumbled by. It backfired as it passed; a woman screamed as if the truck had shaken her from a nightmare. My stomach dropped six inches in an instant. I felt a ripple in the air near my ankle. The ripple ruptured the concrete at my foot. There was another shot. It hit a telephone pole. Was he missing on purpose? People ran past me, something I should have been doing. I felt frozen in the crowd, like the world was moving around me and all I could do was stand and watch. Why the hell was I standing still? I pulled my feet up and ran for my car. I had never considered where the shots were coming from. Cigarettes gone. Damn. Another shot. I didn’t know where it went. There was more screaming and cars were speeding away, tires squealing. No one cared about the old man who dropped his cigarette. I saw a shadow standing along the east wall of Sun Tower, one hand pointed forward. I couldn’t see a face, only that his other arm ended so suddenly it forgot to develop

Postcard Literature: Call For Submissions Would you like to see your short fiction published? The Cascade is looking for original flash fiction to grace the pages of this fine publication. Submissions may touch on any theme or topic.

into a hand. I froze again. Cold. My breath was gone, no billows of white to shield my eyes. I thought about blinking, but nothing happened; even my eyes were frozen. The shadow remained a shadow as it took a step forward; the glare of the sun kept me blind on my right. I made to turn back, but it was too late. He was getting close, closer than a gun needed to be. “Some form you have, pal. Where do you think you’re aiming? I thought you were trying to get that street lamp there. Bad place for target practice.” The shadow stayed quiet. The desire to see the face of my killer was unnerving. I should have been running. I don’t remember hearing a sound. I only remember the feeling of fire. My body was burning, and I was falling. “Son of a bitch.” I grumbled, as my legs gave out underneath me. I felt my shadow shrink away with me as I fell. The other shadow crept closer, the iron bearing down on me like a maw of darkness. A whirr of sirens interrupted the

week. You’ll get the hang of it.” Evander sighed. He hadn’t even had time to work on the novel. His deadline was in eight hours, and he had nothing. “I’ve got nothing,” he admitted. “Someone around here decided you were Star material. That’s something. Get back to work. Pick up the phone, do something. Pull yourself together. Do whatever you have to. Every day is a struggle around here.” Soon the day was over. After much negotiation, and some slight monetary bribery with the corrupt politician’s attorney’s secretary, he found out that the attorney was simply out drinking with some lawyer friends, and Evander managed to “happen” into meeting with him downtown at the lounge where the man was. Now it was late. Evander had gotten lost on the subway system again on his way home, and

upon arriving home, his wife was up with the baby. He took off his hat, and put down the briefcase. He said hello, and told her that he loved her, and murmured a few things about his day at work, but had no real energy to go into great detail. He went to the cabinet and poured himself a drink from a bottle of kirsch that had been a wedding present from his father. He held their daughter, kissed his wife, crawled into bed with his notebook to write down notes for his novel. The curtain fell. Everything faded to black, and before he knew it, he awoke to a cold grey morning at 6 AM. Nothing was written on the notebook, and his wife was asleep beside him. He kissed her on the head, and rose. There was much work to be done.

Anthony Biondi

silence. The shadow stood over me. I knew what it wanted. I was getting good at taking punishment. I suppose in the end, that’s all it was. Punishment. Hell if I knew what I was being punished for. It could be anything. I was never a pure man. I was a puppet in a dirty world. I was an observer. I sat and watched as the world thrived

around me. Perhaps that was my greatest sin. I found myself smiling. I had tried to clean up my act. But I guess it wasn’t enough. Helping the dame was only putting me in deeper. Irony is a bitch. I wasn’t a hero. I was a wannabe with a trail of failure so long it demanded an unreachable heroism. I looked up at my shadow and laughed.

Submission Guidelines:

- We’re not sticklers for genre. As long as it’s good, we’ll consider it.

-Subject line should include the name of the work and the author

- Please inform us if your submission has been previously published.

-Submissions should be attached as a Word .doc.

- Submissions can come from UFV students, faculty or community members.

-All works must be under 1000 words. Show us what you can do in a limited amount of space. What we like: - General fiction is preferred, but humour and satire are also appreciated.

Response time will typically be one week. Please email all submissions to: alexei@ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

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SPORTS & HEALTH

English Premier League: Football is just a game, until it isn’t THOMAS DAVIES CONTRIBUTOR

In that shocking moment, when Bolton’s Fabrice Muamba collapsed at White Hart Lane, the English football world united. Legally dead. For 78 minutes. Three points? One? Zero? Frankly, no one—not even faltering City boss Roberto Mancini— could care less on March 17. I credit everyone for their role in saving the young athlete’s life, but luck was in Muamba’s favour: The London Chest Hospital is only 12km away from the stadium, referees Howard Webb and Chris Foy are experienced police officers, and Peter Cech had a skull fracture in 2006. As a result of Cech’s injury the medical and ambulance services came under fire after due to their overall response time and capabilities. This alone probably saved Muamba’s life, as ambulances are now on standby in stadiums, and pitch-side medics are

better prepared to treat serious injuries. Muamba is improving slowly in hospital. He may never play football again, but he is alive, after being dead for 78 minutes. British March Madness began with City leading the league by five points and five teams in the relegation doghouse. With the March 31 and April 1 fixtures in the book, really only two interesting changes occurred during the month. United now leads the table by five points (woot!) and Wolves are dropping like a rock. On March 1 they had 22 points, on April 1, 22 points. Uh oh. Five teams are still in the doghouse, but Wolves surely will drop, with six points and a hefty goal differential to make up in seven games. The club already fired Mick McCarthy after five-and-a-half years in charge to no avail. Bolton (29 points), QPR, Blackburn and Wigan (28) round out the bottom five. QPR is screwed. With away fix-

tures at United, Chelsea and City, and home to Tottenham, they’re destined to drop. The club, although plucky, lacks skill to compete down the final stretch. Wigan also has a tough slate: away at Chelsea and United, home to Arsenal, and crucially, away to fellow bottom-feeder Blackburn on May 7. Circle the date people, that one will be good. QPR and Wigan are my picks to follow Wolves down, but if the Latics can pull a win out of Ewood Park, you never know. Back to the top, City faces a mountain to overtake the red half of Manchester. The Red Devils could lose again to their rivals at Etihad Stadium on April 30 (again, circle the date) and probably still take their 20th title. What I find more interesting: the Mancini conundrum. In my humble opinion, City is suffering from what I lovingly call the Real Madrid problem. Spend every penny you have, and plenty you don’t, on players without creating a team. Why

is Sir Alex so successful? He builds a team. Sometimes through cash, sometimes through the Academy, but the end product is a team. Real Madrid and now City simply fail to recognize this. Balotelli, Tévez: their club isn’t a team; it’s a group of mercenaries. Everyone knows about the Tévez saga (and believe me, it isn’t over) and Balotelli is a laughing stock. Ok fine, he’s young, and I enjoy the randomness we sometimes see. Spontaneous visits to a local college – fun. Setting off fireworks inside his house – a rookie move. However, the Sunderland fixture on March 31 epitomizes the problems with Balotelli and the team; down 3-1 at home and Balotelli argues with captain Vincent Kompany and others over who takes a free kick. Seriously? Teammates physically restrained Balotelli to prevent the altercation from developing further; if it had, I say Balotelli strikes someone.

And this is where Mancini comes in. He bought both Balotelli and Tévez and he can’t control them. A la Real Madrid, he threw money at the problem without creating a team. City owners won’t tolerate excuses; title or bust. No title, no Mancini next season. A quick look at some other stories: 1. Tottenham and Newcastle are in for a fight to maintain European spots. The Magpies visit Stamford Bridge on May 6 for a vital fixture in the battle for spots three through six. 2. Chelsea sacked Villas-Boas to no one’s surprise. Maybe I’ll apply … $10 million contract for six months work and hefty severance pay to boot. Pity the fool who works there next. 3. At least two just-promoted teams will stay up, something I always like to see. 4. Best of luck to Aston Villa’s captain Stiliyan Petrov who has been diagnosed with leukemia.

Whitecaps: sophomore season full of surprises OWEN COULTER CONTRIBUTOR

In the second season for the Whitecaps in the MLS, surprises have abounded – especially goals for and allowed. The Whitecaps, prior to Saturday’s tilt against the San Jose Earthquakes, are undefeated with a record of 2-0-2. Yet, there is one slight problem with that. Yes, the Whitecaps got off to a quick start with a 2-0 defeat of the Montreal Impact in their home opener, and yes it was the first time they won on the road in their short MLS history against Chivas USA with a score of 1-0, but the offence has run dry starting with their game against D.C. United. In the aforementioned game, the Whitecaps drew even at 0-0, with the same outcome the next game against the Philadelphia Union. In both of those games they also had no shots on goal – something that they should be concerned about through 180-plus minutes of soccer.

image: Bob Frid

Whitecaps fans are enjoying not seeing the ball in their team’s net as often, though; considering through their first season they allowed a

whopping 55 goals, with only 35 goals for, resulting in a plus/minus of -20 in the goal-differential department. Martin Rennie’s new coaching tactics

and different approach to each game seems to be a result of their stingy defensive play, but also because the team finally has a strong set of leaders.

John Thorrington, Jay DeMerit, Joe Cannon, and Alain Rochat are the four players that were chosen by the coaching staff as team leaders and liaisons to the coaches. All are veterans of the game and bring high expectations for this team – something that the group lacked last season under former coach Teitur Thordarson. Captain Jay DeMerit put a system of fines in place if players arrive late to meetings and practices. No players have had to pay up yet; apparently all Whitecaps players are either scrooges, are worried about Vancouver housing costs, or the obvious one – they understand that there needs to be continuity and commitment to this team to win more than a measly six games like they did last year through 34 contests. If the Whitecaps want to stay in fourth place and climb the Western Conference ranks, they must keep playing defensively sound and find their offensive game once again. Sounds simple right? It always seems that way on paper.

Presidents versus Kings as Canucks plan playoff push JOEL SMART

the cascade

The Canucks will only need to remember back to April 2010 as they prepare to take on the Los Angeles Kings in the Conference Quarterfinals starting today. It was a six-game series that saw the Canucks win three straight games after being down 2-1 in the series. While the departed Mikael Samuelsson was key in the turn around that year, Vancouver has some key players to fill that role that they didn’t have then. To name a few possible difference-makers for this years squad, look no further than Chris Higgins, Max Lapierre and David Booth. All three of them have the potential to turn the tides in Vancouver’s favour this year. Unfortunately for the Canucks, as much as their team has improved compared to that year, so too has

Kings goaltender Jonathan Quick. While he had a 0.907 save percentage and a 2.54 goals against average (GAA) in the 2009-10 regular season, he’s managed an impressive 0.928 save percentage and a 1.95 GAA this year. In fact, thanks to Quick, the Kings have allowed only 179 goals this year – that’s second in the league. Those are frightening numbers for a Canucks squad that has, at times, struggled to score. Thankfully for the Canucks, the Kings have had an even harder time scoring (finishing 29th in the league at 194 goals). Comparatively, the Canucks have scored both the fourth most goals (249) and allowed the fourth fewest goals (198). That’s a differential of plus-51 for Vancouver, compared to the still respectable plus-15 accomplished by the Kings. Of course, all those numbers

sometimes mean very little once the game has begun. As Quick has shown in his previous two playoff showings, he can sometimes let in an uncharacteristic number of goals; he had a 3.50 GAA in 2010 and a 3.16 GAA in 2011 against the Sharks. Truly, anything can happen. Canucks fans will take hope from the strong push their team provided in the last 10 games of the season. The Canucks managed 17 of a possible 20 points in that span – all without their leading scorer Daniel Sedin. If Vancouver can up their game even more as they enter the playoffs, they should be able to find success against the eighth-place Kings. Even more heartening for the Canucks is that in their last meeting with the Kings, in their seventh-tolast game of the season, the Canucks managed to win 1-0 – Roberto Luongo made 38 saves for the shutout.

Hopefully, like on that March 26 performance, the Canucks will be able to keep leading scorers Anze Kopitar, Justin Williams and Dustin Brown in check. With news that Daniel Sedin is skating and potentially ready to go for game one is promising news for the Canucks. However, it remains to be seen if he will be able to return to form in his first game back. Nevertheless, it is clear that the sooner the Canucks can get him back in their lineup the better. Equally as important though, is that difference-maker Ryan Kesler finds his game. If all else fails, at least the Canucks have Alex Burrows – one of the most clutch players to ever play the game. Realistically, it will likely be a fairly close and stressful series for fans, but if the Canucks can find a way to beat Quick, they’ve got a great chance of making it through unscathed.

Series Schedule Game 1: Wednesday, April 11, 7:30 p.m., Los Angeles at Vancouver. Game 2: Friday, April 13, 7 p.m., Los Angeles at Vancouver. Game 3: Sunday, April 15, 7:30 p.m., Vancouver at Los Angeles. Game 4: Wednesday, April 18, 7 p.m., Vancouver at Los Angeles. Game 5:* Sunday, April 22, TBA, Los Angeles at Vancouver. Game 6:* Tuesday, April 24, TBA, Vancouver at Los Angeles. Game 7:* Thursday, April 26, TBA, Los Angeles at Vancouver. *If Necessary

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

SPORTS & HEALTH

2012 Stanley Cup playoffs preview Western Conference

Eastern Conference

8th seed

1st seed

This match-up could be reminiscent of the Nashville vs Vancouver series last year. The Kings limped into eighth place because of their stellar defence, led by the brick wall in front of their net otherwise known as Jonathan Quick. He had 10 regular season shutouts this year, which doubles the respectable five that Roberto Luongo has garnered. The Kings’ point total, however, isn’t necessarily indicative of their current offensive power: just before the trade deadline, they acquired Jeff Carter from the Columbus Blue Jackets. This reunites Carter with his teammate from Philadelphia, Mike Richards. The two have been known to stir things up together, both on and off the ice. Don’t be saying sweep just yet, folks – this could be a bumpy ride.

2nd seed

KAREN ANEY the cascade

The playoffs are always intense. They always have great stories, and make for great games. This year is no exception. In fact, this year may have even more intensity, as the points race has been incredibly close. Most teams are within only two points of those behind them in their conference standings, and realistically speaking, this is the tightest the race for the Cup has been in a while. To get you primed for the playoffs, here are a few things to remember. First, let’s talk about seeding: the top team in each division gets first, second, and third in their conference, depending on points. This is how Florida and Phoenix ended up in third place of their respective conferences – points-wise, they’d be much lower, if they were in the race at all. After the first round, re-seeding will happen. If the division winners survive, they continue to be seeded 1-3. The remaining teams are lined up behind them according to total points. The higher-seeded team always has the home-ice advantage, which means they play the first game (and seventh, if it gets there) game at home. A few other things to keep in mind: there are no shootouts in the playoffs. I know we’re used to them after that stretch of 8000 games going to shootout in the middle of the Canucks season, but it’s time to kiss them goodbye until September. If a game is not won in regulation, a regular intermission of 15 minutes occurs, followed by a 20 minute period of sudden-death overtime. This process of intermission and overtime continues until one team has won. Another thing to think about; things get really tight-lipped at this time of year. Coaches aren’t going to speak up about their player’s injuries. They’re not going to give a timeline. They’re not going to decisively say which goalie is playing the next game. They’re not going to talk about their feelings while braiding the hair of journalists in the media scrum. Well, they probably never do that. But still.

The New York Rangers narrowly missed out on first place in the league, meaning they’ve scored a lot of points. Further, they allowed just 187 goals in the regular season (third lowest in the league), meaning they’re pretty good defensively. Ottawa has been touted as a dark horse all season – they’ve quietly made their way up through the standings, yet fallen back to eighth due to inconsistency rearing its ugly head at the end of the season. Forwards Daniel Alfredsson, Jason Spezza and Milan Michalek have been consistent goal-scorers this season, but they’re easily matched by Ranger Ryan Callahan (who garnered 29 goals playing on the second line). New York’s true strength, though, is Henrik Lundqvist – and not just because he’s consistently voted the hottest player in the NHL. He’s a strong Vezina trophy contender this year, with a .931 save percentage and a 1.93 goals-against average. That’s earned his team 39 wins with him in net, and the Senators might have trouble stopping that total climbing in the postseason. That being said, Ottawa is the only other Canadian team in the playoffs. As such, you are required by hockey law to support them. Go Sens.

7th seed

Blues captain David Backes is a viable contender for this year’s Selke trophy – in other words, he’s dangerous offensively (he leads his team in points) and defensively. The other thing the Blues bring to the table is depth. They don’t have any superstars on their team, yet they still managed second place in the Western Conference. The Sharks, on the other hand, have Big Joe Thornton. He’s one of the best offensive players in the league, and creates plenty of opportunity for his team, which brags three 30-plus goal scorers. In net, they have Antti Niemi. Most Vancouver fans won’t need to be reminded that he was in net when the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup in 2010 – he’s no stranger to the playoffs, and has found a way to succeed under the pressure.

This has the potential to be the biggest Cinderella story of the post-season. The Coyotes are in third because they won their division. The top three teams in that division are separated by just one point each. They trail second-place St Louis by 12 points. It seems like they’re in over their heads, but the Blackhawks are down captain “Serious” Jonathan Toews, who is out with concussion symptoms with no timeframe for his return. However, the Hawks managed to get into the playoffs without him – they’ve got something going for them, even if it’s just Patrick Kane’s mullet. The Hawks also made a pretty key trade at the deadline, losing hulking John Scott to the Rangers for Johnny Oduya. He’s bulked up their blue line – with brainpower, that is, as Scott is great to have around for size but not so much if you want smart defensive plays. This is good, because the blue line is one of Phoenix’s strengths: D-man Keith Yandle has racked up 43 points this season, while the contender for longest nameplate in the league, Oliver Ekman-Larsson, has 32.

7th seed

2nd seed

Vancouver has a bit of a blind spot when it comes to the Bruins. However, the rage that the black and gold elicits in our hearts is blinding us to the fact that the Bruins are a solid team defensively and offensively with plenty of depth. As we saw last year, they’re big, and led by Zdeno Chara, who towers over most of the league. They do best against teams that rely on one or two point-scorers. Happily for them, they’re pitted against what should likely be referred to as the Ovechkin show – despite his incredible slump leading up to Christmas, he finished the regular season with 38 goals and 65 points, which leads the team. What’s more, their goalie situation is dire: starting goaltender Tomas Vokoun is out with a groin injury. Their backup, Michal Neuvirth, is also out, with a lower-body injury. Their AHL starter, Barden Holtby, hasn’t been having a great season at that level, yet he may be the Capitals’ only hope in this series. No pressure, though.

6th seed

3rd seed

8th seed

1st seed

vs 6th seed

3rd seed

This series could be an interesting one. Devils coach Pete DeBoer was fired two seasons ago by the Panthers organization. Behind the opposite bench, coach Kevin Dineen boasts being the first coach to get the Panthers to the postseason for the first time in 12 years. It’s not all about the coaching, though: Devils goalie Martin Brodeur—the other goalie who played in Canada’s victorious 2010 Olympics run—is playing what could be his last season. He’s likely to lay everything on the line for his team and his last chance at a Cup. This is also the first year that New Jersey has had three players – David Clarkson, Ilya Kovalchuk, and captain Zach Parise – score 30 goals. This matches up against the Panthers, who lack any superstar forwards. However, what they lack in star quality, they make up for with four lines of grit. Even though they wouldn’t be in the third slot if they didn’t come from a weak division, this won’t be a cakewalk for New Jersey.

vs vs 3rd seed

6th seed

Vancouver fans groan when they see Nashville’s name on their schedule. There’s a reason for that – their 1-3-1 defence style makes for some boring hockey. It’s hard to tally the points against effective defence, and they never had a particularly explosive offence. Until now. They acquired Paul Gaustad and Andrei Kostitsyn at the trade deadline, who’ve both done great things for the Preds: Kostitsyn has netted four game-winners since joining the team. Match their sudden offensive ability against the Red Wing’s defence, and you’ve got a problem – legendary defenceman Nicklas Lidstrom, their defensive core, currently suffers from a deep bone bruise on his ankle. While he’s playing, he’s not playing like the Lidstrom that Wings fans know and love. That being said, Lidstrom at half-power is still probably better than most defencemen in the league.

3rd seed

6th seed

This is the match-up of the first round. The Penguins and the Flyers have a well-documented rivalry, spanning multiple seasons of mutual hatred. Flyers fans call the Penguins soft, Penguins call the Flyers “all brawn, no brain.” With this year’s Art Ross winner Evgeni Malkin on their side, the Penguins will be a team to contend with for the Flyers. Apparently, the Penguins have another player that’s kind of good, too ... but no one likes talking about Matt Cooke in Vancouver. Plagued with multiple concussions throughout the first half of the season, the Flyers could be in better fighting form than their standing suggests. Again – this is the match-up of the first round. If you’re watching any aside from your team, it should probably be this one.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012

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Everything you need to know birth control, part two: hormonal birth control KAREN ANEY THE CASCADE

Along with barrier methods, hormonal forms of birth control make up the majority of contraceptive options. The currently available forms are exclusively for women, and work by mimicking hormones in a woman’s body. Hormonal forms of birth control work within the body like estrogen and progesterone. They enhance both hormones (or sometimes just progesterone), and as such, can thin the lining of the uterus, thicken cervical mucous, and stop ovulation from occurring altogether.

Handy disclaimer: though all information contained here is based on medical studies, it’s not our fault if you get pregnant. Sexual health is no one’s responsibility but your own.

Contraceptive Patch The patch works similarly to the pill in that it follows a woman’s natural cycle of 28 days. However, rather than taking a pill every day (or close to every day), the patch is changed once per week. The patch works just like the pill does, by mimicking the functions of estrogen and progestin in the body. However, rather than ingesting the pill form of the hormones, the patch delivers them to the body through the skin. The patch is 99.7 per cent effective when used perfectly, and 92 per cent effective with actual use – just like the pill. However, studies have shown that the affectivity of the patch decreases if a woman’s weight is over 198 pounds. This means that it could actually be even less effective than 92 per cent, depending on your body weight. Appearance-wise, the patch looks like a small band-aid. It’s approximately 1.75-inches tall and wide, and light-skin coloured. The patch can be worn on four areas:

the buttocks, upper arm, stomach, or upper torso (though not on the breasts). Every week, it should be worn on a different area to prevent irritation of the skin. The adhesive on the patch means that it can be worn during physical activity – even while swimming. Like the pill, the patch only administers hormones for three weeks. The fourth week is re-

placed by either a hormone-less patch or no patch at all. This causes an interruption in the steady flow of hormones, and causes the withdrawal bleeding. As with the pill, the patch can be used to skip a period if desired: to do so, the week with the fake patch or lack of patch would simply be used to start the next “cycle” of three patches.

user: this is done by hooking your finger on the ring and pulling it out. Note that these are extremely general instructions for a reason: use of the ring will vary slightly by user, and should be discussed with a physician. As with the patch and the pill,

the ring can be used to skip a period: typical use dictates leaving one ring in for three weeks, then allowing one week without the ring for withdrawal bleeding. To skip the period, simply insert a new ring immediately after removing the previous one.

tered to the body, the patient’s return to her menstrual cycle could be unpredictable and inconsistent. Also, it can take up to a full year (depending on length of time on the shot) to regain fertility after ceasing use. There are many health risks associated with the shot, perhaps the most documented of which is bone loss. Women, already high risks for osteoporosis, have found that the shot can further increase their risks for the disease. In 2005, Canadian women launched a $700-million class action lawsuit against Pfizer, the maker of Depoprovera, in the hopes of obtaining

reparation for the damages they incurred from the drug. A Health Canada warning indicates that Depo-Provera causes women significant bone density loss. “The data,” the warning continues, “also indicate that bone loss is greater with increasing duration of use and may not be completely reversible.” Other health risks exist, ranging from increased chance of migraines to increased risk of liver disease. Some dangers of the shot, such as that of blood clots, exist with the pill as well. However, as Health Canada points out in the same study, the risks are higher in correlation with the shot.

NuvaRing

Combined Oral

This is otherwise known as combined oral contraceptive, combined oral contraceptive pill, contraceptive pill, or just simply, the pill. According to statistics provided by Options BC, it is 99.7 per cent effective when used perfectly, and 92 per cent effective given actual average use. It’s one of the oldest forms of birth control, first conceptualized in the 1930s when a professor at Pennsylvania State University figured out a use for inedible Mexican yams – he figured out how to extract progesterone from them. He then left the University to start a company called Syntex, which became the first commercially-affordable producer the steroid progesterone. The pill can come in a few different forms. The most common one of these is the 21 or 28-day packs. Essentially, these are the same thing: the 28-day pack is a 21-day pack, only with seven sugar pills. These are taken during the week of the woman’s period, and simply allow for continuity. Rather than skipping a week of pills, with a 28 pack, the woman takes one pill each day. Some brands of the pill actually have iron supplements in the sugar pills: this is because during menstruation, iron levels in a woman’s body can fall dangerously low. There are also 24-day and 26-day variations; the pill varies greatly from brand to brand, and it’s extremely important to consult the instructions for your specific pill before taking them. Though women do not ovu-

late when taking the pill, they still usually experience what is referred to as “withdrawal bleeding” during the week hormonal pills are not taken. However, this can be avoided: when taking 21pack pills, if the woman continues onto her next pack of pills rather than skipping a week, she may have no period at all. There are some drawbacks: this isn’t a 100 per cent fool-proof method, and can result in anything from light spotting to bleeding on par with a typical period. A type of pill that was approved for use in Canada in 2003, the extended-cycle pill, is designed so that an active hormone pill is taken every day over a three-month period. At the end of this period, placebo pills are taken and withdrawal bleeding occurs. According to the website of the Mayo Clinic, “Some evidence suggests an advantage to this type of regimen. By continuously taking the pill, you prevent hormonal fluctuations that are responsible for bleeding, cramping, headaches and other discomforts associated with getting your period. Unscheduled bleeding and spotting often occur during the first few months. It typically goes away with continued use, but some women do continue to have unscheduled bleeding with continuous use of pills.” The most common brand of this extendedcycle pill is called Seasonale, but your doctor should be able to suggest alternatives, if this is the form you would like to use.

The NuvaRing works hormonally just as the pill and patch do. The ring, as it is more commonly referred to, is approximately 4mm thick and 54mm in diameter, and consists of polymer. Much like the patch, it works by releasing a constant dosage of hormones to the body, though this time through the vaginal walls rather than the epidermis. The ring is inserted into the vagina by the user. To do so, the ring is squeezed between the thumb and index finger, then inserted inside. When it is released, it will press against the walls of the vagina. Its material, along with its size, means that it shouldn’t be felt by the woman or her partners. For you iPhone users out there, the square inside the circular home button on your phone is about 4mm – that’s how thick the ring is. Removal is also performed by the

Depo-Provera

Depo-provera—alternatively known as depo-vera or just the shot—is another form of hormonal birth control. It works like the pill, patch and ring in that it mimics progesterone in a woman’s body in order to stop ovulation and otherwise inhibit pregnancy. However, the shot is administered every 10-12 weeks by a physician and does not affect estrogen levels. The shot is 99.95 per cent effective with perfect use, and 97 per cent effective with actual use. In order to maximize effectiveness, it is important to receive another shot before 12 weeks is up – if any more time goes by, the hormones will take up to a week to become effectual again. The shot often ceases menstrual bleeding completely. According to C-Health, a Canadian health organization, after one year on the shot, 55 per cent of women no longer have periods. However, this statistic accounts for women who experience minimal breakthrough bleeding and spotting. Generally, the shot leaves women with irregular bleeding patterns that gradually taper off the longer the shot is administered. This remains after use is discontinued: because hormones are consistently adminis-

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SPORTS & HEALTH

Everything you need to know birth control (cont.) Alternative uses for contraceptive treatments Though birth control is predominately used for, well, controlling your chances of becoming pregnant, there are many other uses associated with all hormonal forms of contraception – but most commonly the pill. First is the health benefits that come along with taking birth control: multiple studies have proven that taking oral contraceptives can decrease the risk of ovarian cancer dramatically – some studies, such as one conducted by Robert C. Bast in Berlin, suggest risk can be reduced by 50 per cent when the pill is taken for five years, and 80 per cent reduction of risk after 10 years. Aside from that, the pill is associated with improvements in acne (and can be prescribed as a treatment for severe acne), reduction of menstrual pain, regulation of menses, and other hormonal benefits. That’s quite a few benefits. Considering those benefits, it may come as a shock to you (or maybe you’ve already realized) that the medical plan at UFV does not cover any part of any form of birth control. SUS Health and Dental Plan Administrator, Sasha ChownDunne, said “that’s not something we’re going to change,” explaining that they follow standards set out by the insurance company and it is beyond their control. However, other institutions have taken steps to alleviate this issue for students: SFU offers contraception at reduced rates in their clinics (approximately $15 per pack), for instance. Langara College offers their students a plan with reduced rates for birth control. UBC and UBC-Okanagan both offer clinics similar to SFU where students can obtain low-cost contraception. Another aspect to consider is that the pill can be prescribed to treat different afflictions. At times, it’s the only treatment available. Chown-Dunne explains that if a

student is able to have their physician write a prescription stating they require birth control pill for medical reasons, an exclusion may be made. To do so, the student must visit the SUS office on Abbotsford campus and request an exclusion form. They are not currently available online. What can the pill treat? Overwhelmingly, the pill is widely used to treat female reproductive disorders. One of the most common of these is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which has a myriad of debilitating symptoms. It generally manifests itself with the reduction or complete absence of menstruation, and is associated with infertility, acne and even Type 2 diabetes. Generally, though not always, those with PCOS also have ovarian cysts that can rupture, scar and cause permanent, irreversible infertility. Treatments for this syndrome aren’t referred to as treatments, as there is no cure, but there are methods of managing the symptoms. The most debilitating symptoms may all be cured by the birth control pill: it’s one of the few treatments that are recommended by Health Canada. As PCOS affects between 5-10 per cent of women in their reproductive years, this demonstrates the vital importance of the contraceptive pill. Another condition—effecting between 5-10 per cent of women in their reproductive years, and is also treatable by the pill—is endometriosis. This is a condition where cells from the lining of the uterus grow outside of the uterine cavity, typically on the ovaries. The most common symptom of endometriosis is pelvic pain, which can range from a moderate ache to debilitating cramping that spans both sides of the pelvis, the rectal area, the lower back and down the legs. Endometriosis also often manifests in severe and disabling menstrual cramps that get worse over time, dyspareunia (which is painful sex), and dysuria (which is

painful urination). Unchecked, endometriosis can cause distortions and adhesions on the ovaries, which inhibit fertility. Because there is no cure for endometriosis, the goal (as with PCOS) is management. Taking progesterone-only pills can fight the growth of the endometrium, which eliminates menstruation without the necessity of surgery. Combination pills reduce the menstrual flow and thus can assist with the symptomatic pain. Seasonale, which reduces a woman’s menstruation to four times per year, is actively promoted as a tool in managing endometriosis, a use endorsed by Health Canada. As alternative treatments include morphine and major surgery, birth control is a safer option for many patients. There are many other disorders that are treated using the birth control pill: adenomyosis, dysmenorrhea, and dysfunctional uterine bleeding are among them. Aside from the symptoms with long names, the alleviation to menstrual cramps is often lifealtering: when the term disabling menstrual cramps is used, it refers to vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, dizziness, disorientation, fatigue and even fainting. For some women, menstruation is crippling, and the pill is often the best cure. If you’re plagued with any of these disorders or syndromes, you can attempt to have an exclusion approved by UFV’s medical plan. Some other options may be available: if you speak to your physician, he may be able to offer you trial packages of birth control at a reduced cost or for free. The drawback to this is that the brand and concentrations of hormones may not be best suited to your needs. Another option is to visit a sexual health clinic, where contraception is often available at reduced rates, particularly to students or young women.

Intra Uterine Devices

More commonly referred to as IUDs, these are T-shaped devices inserted in a woman’s uterus. Insertion is done by a physician, as it must be done carefully in order to avoid perforation. They are made of copper, or in the case of the Mirena intrauterine system (IUS), plastic. Both forms contain low levels of progesterone, which is released slowly into a woman’s body. Together, the device and the hormone thicken cervical mucus, thins the lining of the uterus, and can make a woman cease ovulation. The type of IUD available in Canada is effective for up to five years at a time. This means that, after insertion, you are protected from impregnation for five years without further attention to contraceptive efforts. The IUD is approximately 99 per cent effective, and has no variation for imperfect use, as there is no room for user error. One thing to consider in regards to an IUD is that it is actually an extremely effective form of emergency birth control. If inserted within one week after unprotected sex, it can prevent a pregnancy. Depending on your views

regarding the status of the fetus and abortion, this may be morally unacceptable for you personally. There are rare yet serious health complications that can occur with an IUD. First, an IUD is susceptible to the risks associated with other forms of hormonal birth control: mainly blood clots. However, there are more serious risks; in a quarterly publication by Health Canada reviewing cases reported to the government, it was discovered that there were 26 cases of uterine perforation associated with Mirena. Further, “In eight of the cases, Mirena was inserted between six weeks and six months postpartum.” This same risk has been identified in other forms of IUDs, and physicians speculate that this may be due to the softened consistency of the uterus in the months following birth. Another risk of the IUD is that it can shift and cause severe cramping and bleeding, especially when weight gain or loss of 10 or more pounds occur. If you are using an IUD as your contraceptive and have experienced a fluctuation in your weight, it is important to consult your physician.

Hangover helpers SASHA MOEDT THE CASCADE

There’s an old line that goes something like this: “there aint no cure for a hangover.” Or was it love? But either way Leonard Cohen hit the nail right on the head with that one. There is no information on Health Canada’s website. Like Canadians don’t drink or something. The only tip they have is “no documents were found to match you query” when I search ‘hangover cures.’ That’s not very helpful. Lousy Canadian government. The only advice I can think of is this: prevention is the only cure. Don’t drink. And with finals being so close to being over, with hot summer nights, camping trips and bonfires coming, that advice is completely moot. So what are some ways to get out of being hungover? From personal experience, I know that it doesn’t take a binge-drinker to get that headache and nausea. If you’re lightweight, or the beer-gods just don’t like you, more than a couple of

drinks can be pretty toxic for your body, resulting in a hangover. In an article published in Better Nutrition, Kimberly Retzlaff wrote about curing hangovers the natural way. Her advice is to take preventative steps before, during and after. Before drinking, take vitamin B6. If you don’t have the pill form, there are many foods that are rich in this vitamin. Retzlaff says vitamin B6 will reduce hangover symptoms in half, proven in a small study published in the Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol. Such foods include bran (rice and wheat), pistashios, tuna, and raw garlic. In addition to cutting the hangover symptoms in half, your breath will smell great. Another cure we’ve all heard is this: drink water. Alcohol is a diuretic. That’s why you have to pee so much the night before. Now, drinking lots of water will f lush the alcohol out of your system, and rehydrate your body. It’s a good idea to start drinking water in between drinks, just to get started. What to do the morning after? Vitamin C – 1000mg of it. “Animal

image: Jill O’neill

research has shown that vitamin C prevents an alcohol-induced rise in cholesterol and, through antioxidant mechanisms, can prevent liver damage,” Retzlaff writes. Also, standardized milk thistle extract has similar effects. “Milk thistle has been used for centuries for its livercleansing effects and is believed to work—at least partially—through antioxidant benefits.” 140mg of

milk thistle extract, and the vitamin C, will ease the toxic effects of your bender. Take 1000mg of vitamin C plus 140mg of a standardized milk thistle extract. These supplements can ease the toxic effects of overindulging. In an article in AskMen, the author Jeff Bayer noted that eating before a night of heavy drinking will help a lot. “The main idea here

is to put volume in your stomach, which will dilute the effects of alcohol.” Milk and olive oil will line the stomach well. It’s true that greasy foods help – but again, only before the drinks, to line the stomach. I’m not going to lie: there’s no sure cure for a hangover. So if you’re going to whine, I’ll tell you to stop drinking to much. Otherwise, give these tricks a try, and feel better!

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