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County
Setauket Priest Receives Kidney from Parishioner
A blossoming love led to a lifesaving procedure for a local priest. In January, Setauket resident Kara LoDolce donated her kidney to Father Jerry Cestare of St. James R.C. Church. When LoDolce first told him that she was going to donate her organ, he said he couldn’t believe it. “I don’t know how many people can be that selfless,” he said. The 55-year-old priest said his kidneys were compromised about nine years ago, and while he was careful about his health, at the beginning of last year he felt tired all the time and went for medical testing. He found out he had kidney failure and started dialysis in May, something he said is not a long-term solution for someone his age. The priest said when doctors first told him to actively start looking for living donors, he felt hesitant because he grasped that someone was giving up something precious. While a few
family members were tested, they were found not to be matches, and he couldn’t bring himself to ask others. “How could I ask someone to do something like that just because I was sick?” he said. Cestare said while he wasn’t afraid of dying or being incapacitated, he was afraid that he would lose what he loved to do — ministering. The priest said the chain of events played out like a Hallmark movie. LoDolce, 46, said she was compelled from the second she heard Cestare needed a new kidney. She and her fiancé, Scott Alu, 42, credit the priest for indirectly helping the two of them meet. LoDolce said her soon-to-be husband met her in a gym, while he normally wouldn’t ask out a woman with tattoos, which she has, he remembered a recent conversation he had with Cestare. Alu was talking to the priest about looking for a relationship after a divorce, as well as being a father to two children. LoDolce said her fiancé was told to keep an TRANSPLANT CONTINUED ON A5
Father Jerry Cestare and Kara LoDolce right before the kidney transplant procedure in January. Photo from Kara LoDolce
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Perspective Your Turn Series on Brexit: Prime Minister Boris Johnson Gets It Done A Brit Reviews the UK’s Eventual Withdrawal from Europe BY JOHN BROVIN DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM Part 3 of 3 When I started this series in March 2019, I wanted to give U.S. readers a Brit’s inside view on Brexit. The term has now become such common currency over here, rather like the Latin phrase “quid pro quo,” that all I need explain is that Brexit refers to Britain exiting the European Union, which it duly did Jan. 31 of this year. On the same date the U.S. Senate rejected further witnesses in the impeachment trial of President Donald Trump (R). It was hardly a red-letter day for western politics. After publication of the first two articles, I was approached by residents of all age groups at the Stony Brook railroad station, in a deli, at a mall, in a coffee shop, at a party, even at an outdoor art show. Everyone expressed an intrigued interest in Brexit and, it’s fair to say, concern for my English home country. What on earth was going on? Why indulge in such potential self-harm? When I left you with my June article, the United Kingdom and EU had agreed on another revised exit date, Oct. 31, but with no parliamentary majority the way forward was still far from clear. “Will there be a general election, second referendum, another EU extension or a hard no deal?” I asked. It came to pass there was a general election Dec. 12 and a further EU extension to Jan. 31, with no second referendum or precipitous hard deal (to date). With the U.K.’s withdrawal from the EU, what happened in the interim?
A third prime minister in three years
For a start, on July 24, Boris Johnson achieved the prize he had wanted from his days as a privileged aristocratic youth at Eton College and Oxford University: the prime ministership of the U.K. After being elected as leader of the Conservative Party (also known as the Tories), he took over from the hapless Theresa May (C) who was unable to deliver on her promise to leave the EU after three years in the hot seat. Brexit had thus claimed another victim, making Johnson the third prime minster since David Cameron (C) fell on his sword after a dismal and inept Vote Remain campaign during the June 2016 referendum.
Without a working majority, Johnson was confronted by a parliament determined to ensure that if Brexit happened there would be no hard deal. The new prime minister even tried, unsuccessfully, to suspend parliament for five weeks in an effort to stifle debate and ram through the withdrawal agreement by Oct. 31. Queen Elizabeth II was inadvertently embroiled when she dutifully signed the prorogation request of Johnson, who made the flimsy pretense of needing time to prepare for the Queen’s Speech, but the U.K. Supreme Court ruled otherwise. I suspect Her Majesty was not amused. There was clearly a power battle being fought between parliament and the prime minister, reminiscent of the current war of attrition between Congress and Trump. The generally pro-Brexit Tory Party, with its band of rabid hardliners, was armed with the 52-48 percent Voter Leave victory of the 2016 referendum. Amid calls from the Brexiters for “democracy” to be respected and with a definite all-round war weariness in the nation, it was clearly going to be difficult for the main opposition parties — Labour, Liberal Democrats, Scottish National Party and the Greens — to overturn “the will of the people.” At one time, the charismatic speaker of the House of Commons, John Burcow, even invoked an arcane 1604 parliamentary principle to stifle a government motion. (Think about it, that’s 16 years before the Mayflower landed on our shores.) However, the opposition could not find agreement among themselves for a unified approach, even with voting support from 21 Tory rebels. This rump included former Chancellor of Exchequer Philip Hammond, Father of the House Ken Clarke and Sir Winston Churchill’s grandson, Nicholas Soames. Incredibly these respected establishment figures were thrown out of the Tory Party in petulant retribution. You see what I mean about parliamentary drama. With time running out, the EU begrudgingly extended the Oct. 31 deadline to Jan. 31 after a last-minute fudged agreement with Johnson over the vexatious Irish border backstop question.
December general election
Parliament was still in deadlock, but eventually a general election was called for Dec. 12. Campaigning on a resonating “Get Brexit done” ticket, Johnson won a huge working majority of 80 seats to break the parliamentary impasse. His Conservative Party brushed aside the Labour Party and Liberal Democrats, also Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party. Labour, in its worst general election result since 1935, ignominiously saw the demolition of its “red wall” in the industrial north of England, the traditional home of socialism. The Lib-Dems, under Jo Swinson, went all out with a remain message. Yet this bright young leader couldn’t articulate on the stump the benefits of staying
John Broven Photo by Diane Wattecamps
in Europe and she even lost her own parliamentary seat. The main opposition winners were the Scottish Nationalist Party, under Nicola Sturgeon, which swept Scotland. Watch out for a possible future referendum for Scotland to leave the U.K. and become a member of the EU. Richard Tapp, of Burgess Hill, West Sussex, added in an email, “Besides the Scottish Nationalists, the pro-EU parties in Northern Ireland also did well, at the expense of the proBrexit Democratic Unionist Party whose leader in Westminster lost his seat to the nationalists of Sinn Fein who campaign for a united Ireland — and so remain in the EU.” Johnson had targeted the disaffected, forgotten part of the nation — the provincial middle class as well as the working class — with a Trump-like populist message, just as the new prime minister had done beforehand with the referendum. The general election was a damning indictment of Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership of the Labour Party, both for his far-left policies and his “sit on the fence” approach to Brexit. Interestingly, there are concerns in the U.S. about the Democratic Party following the Labour/Corbyn route to self-destruction in the next election with a progressive socialist agenda. James Carville, President Bill Clinton’s (D) 1992 election-winning strategist, was particularly animated on the subject in the Financial Times and on “Morning Joe,” referring to the unelectable Corbyn by name.
Brexit is done
And so, with no obstacles in his way, Johnson “got it done” by signing a withdrawal agreement with the EU, meaning Britain officially left the union at the end of January after almost a half-century of membership. Brexit is now fully owned and controlled by the prime minister and his Conservative Party, with the background help
of Dominic Cummings, the architect of the Vote Leave campaign’s victory in 2016. The coverage on BBC World News in Brussels revealed genuine European regret at the loss of Britain as a vital contributing member to the EU, including politicians from Poland and Sweden. Yet the expected party atmosphere in the U.K. didn’t materialize because the country was still split right down the middle — and it was raining on Farage’s celebration parade outside the Houses of Parliament. Financial Times columnist Simon Kuper had a perverse explanation for the low-keyed reaction: “On Jan. 31, many Brexiters spent their ultimate moment of triumph attacking elitist traitors instead of celebrating.” This revenge, he said, “is so much of the point of populism.” Those Brexit voters expecting a brand-new dawn, with a return to the glory days of the British Empire free of the EU yoke, will have to wait until at least Dec. 31 this year for all kinds of trade, security and legal negotiations to be agreed before the cord is cut. During this transition period the U.K. will continue in the EU’s custom union and single market, while still complying with EU rules (but without any more say in the lawmaking process in the European Parliament). Johnson has indicated there will be no extension, leading to the nightmare scenario of a possible no deal commencing Jan. 1, 2021. It will not be an easy negotiating ride. I’m still of the view that a people’s referendum should never have been considered by Cameron on such a critical and complex matter, which will affect generations to come. His irresponsible bet was compounded by the Brexiters never explaining the downsides — and dangers — of leaving Europe, including diminished influence on the world stage. Already China is waiting in the wings. Michael Hanna, of Hassocks, West Sussex, echoed my thoughts in an email on the night of Jan. 31: “In about two hours time Boris and his Gang will tear us out of the European Union on the say so of just 17.4 million, a mere 37 percent of the electorate. This is politically the saddest day of my life. For the last 47 years we have been members of the great European family of nations to which we should naturally belong. This has given us huge benefits which the Tory government is knowingly throwing away.” With thanks for their on-the-spot observations to my British friends Roger Armstrong, Chris Bentley, Mike Hanna, Martin Hawkins, John Ridley and Richard Tapp. John Broven, a member of the TBR News Media editorial team, is an English-born resident of East Setauket, who immigrated to the United States in 1995. He has written three awardwinning (American) music history books and is currently editing the first book on New York blues.
FEBRUARY 20, 2020 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A5
TRANSPLANT
“Kara felt from the beginning if she could undergo a few weeks of discomfort so that I could get back to work and do what I do best, she said it Continued from page A3 was worth it,” Cestare said. The priest decided to announce the good open mind by Cestare, saying, “One thing that news to the parish at Christmas Mass. Even God does is he takes the broken pieces of your life though he didn’t want the service to be focused and kind of reshapes them into something new, on him, he felt LoDolce’s act of kindness and you just have to be open to opportunities. You symbolized the season. have to be open to every opportunity that God He said many faiths talk about love but puts in front of you.” LoDolce, he said, showed it through action and When she met Alu, LoDolce lived in Sound gave him his life, health and ministry back. Beach, but she said 2½ years ago she moved in “Lots of people talk about love, this woman with him in Setauket, and she’s been going to the showed with her action what love is,” he said. St. James church ever since. He said Kara and her fiancé received a few LoDolce said while the church didn’t make standing ovations from the parishioners at the an official announcement about Cestare’s Mass after he announced she was donating her condition, she was waiting to kidney to him. hear back from him to discuss ‘She’s about to start “She’s about to get married,” her upcoming wedding in May. a whole new life, and he said. “She’s about to start She was surprised when he didn’t a whole new life, and she’s get back to her, and she asked the she’s thinking of me.’ thinking of me.” receptionist who filled her in on LoDolce said she never — JERRY CESTARE what was happening. wavered from her decision. When she and her fiancé met “People tell me I did something with him, she asked if he was on the transplant for him, I don’t feel that way at all,” she said. “I list. He told her it would be a five-year wait due truly feel like he did something for me and he to his blood type being B+. After the meeting, changed my life.” she called her mother and found out she was B+ While most take three or six weeks before also. When she dropped off paperwork, she left they can even go back to work, LoDolce said she Cestare a note saying she would like to be tested. felt great after a week, and she was walking two She went in for the tests and right before or three miles a day. She also credits both of their Christmas discovered she could donate her recoveries to the parishioners and friends. kidney to the priest. She bought Cestare a stuffed “Everyone in the Three Village community kidney-shaped toy and gave it to him along with has been praying for us,” she said. a card and a letter. LoDolce said she is now putting the finishing He said when she gave him the gift, he didn’t touches on her May wedding. open it right away and brought it to his parents’ “I joke that both my kidneys will be going to house where he was going for dinner. When he the wedding,“ LoDolce said. opened it, he was surprised by the beautiful card Cestare said he has found the story has inspired and then began reading the letter where LoDolce others who have heard it with many telling him told him she was a match. that they are going to pay it forward by being His father asked him to repeat what she wrote a better person. “God is using this experience because he, “couldn’t believe it,” and the priest not only to give me back my life but to touch said he and his mother started crying. the lives of others,” he said.
SBU Experts Explain Living Organ Donations
Father Jerry Cestare and Kara LoDolce went to Stony Brook University Hospital for their transplant procedure. The priest said many may think they need to travel to New York City for such a procedure, but SBU has a transplantation program right on Long Island. Dawn Francisquini, administrative director of Stony Brook Medicine’s Kidney Transplantation Services team, said the hospital has been performing the transplants since 1981. She described the program as family friendly and said the staff’s goal is to make patients feel like a person — not a number. “They know when they come to us they’re going to receive personalized care,” she said.
The first step, she added, is to educate the patients and their family members about the entire procedure as well as what needs to be done before and after. She said it’s important for the family to be part of the conversation because there is a lot of information to be taken in. She added that a transplant is not a cure for kidney disease but a treatment. Stephen Knapik, living donor coordinator at the medical center, said finding a living donor can save a person’s life as the waiting list for organ transplants can be several years long. “I tell all the recipients you have to be your own living donor champion,” Knapik said. He said he advises patients if they’re uncomfortable asking to get a friend to help spread the word. He
Kara LoDolce, left, with her fiancé, Scott Alu, and his children. Photo from Kara LoDolce
also said sharing on social media has been successful in many cases, where after a request is posted, “The next thing you know I’m getting phone calls.” Knapik said his role in transplants is keeping donors safe. In the case of Cestare’s transplant, he worked with LoDolce. He said donors go through multiple tests including CT scans, chest X-rays and cancer screenings such as mammograms and Pap smears for women and colonoscopies for those over 50. Once a donor is cleared through testing, a transplant team committee will discuss the donor. “We want to make sure that we have dotted all the I’s and crossed all the T’s to keep the donor safe,” he said. Knapik said once a donor is found the transplant team will work
with the schedule as far as when the surgeries will take place. For example, he said, a teacher can wait until summer. All the costs are paid by the recipient’s insurance. He said while LoDolce was quickly back to walking and resuming her normal routine, it’s unusual. Many donors may take weeks to recover fully and can’t drive for about two weeks or lift heavy objects for a few weeks. “Everybody heals differently,” he said, adding that after the procedures donors will be required to have checkups to make sure their remaining kidney is compensating and doing well. “We can take anyone’s kidney out, but we have to make sure, 10, 20, 30 years later, that the remaining kidney is doing well,” Knapik said.
Francisquini said out of the 1,800 transplants the program has done since its inception, 1,000 patients still come to SBUH for routine follow-ups. She said anywhere from 270 to 300 patients are on the active waiting list at any given time, while another 200 can be in the evaluation process. The kidney transplant team performs 75 to 80 procedures a year. “We have one of the fastest transplant rates in our region,” she said. “So that basically translates into if we put you on the list, we’re serious about transplanting you. We transplant you as quickly as possible.” To learn more about Kidney Transplantation Services at Stony Brook Medicine and how to become an organ donor, visit www. stonybrookmedicine.edu/patientcare/ transplant/organ_donor.
PAGE A6 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • FEBRUARY 20, 2020
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Suffolk County has a water crisis. We administration are working to come up with must do all we can to control our nitrogen alternative structures for the SIP program. waste to protect our drinking water, our soil, Perhaps more can be done to clarify that our rivers and our bays. The county and many transactions are between the county and the of our towns have initiated rebate programs contractors to satisfy the IRS? Or perhaps to encourage homeowners to install clean, an offsetting tax rebate can be legislated? Congressman Tom Suozzi (Dnitrogen-removing septic NY3) has written a letter systems. Suffolk County’s to the IRS demanding they program, known as the Septic reconsider the decision. But Improvement Program, or by Congressman Lee Zeldin (Rthe acronym SIP, has become NY1) remains silent. Instead of a political football, and it’s the joining Suozzi, Zeldin seems to public and the environment support his fellow Republican that are the losers. Kennedy and once again SIP was designed to direct ignores ways to save money for county payments directly his constituents. to contractors, bypassing Does this surprise you? individual participants so their It should not, given Zeldin’s rebates would not be taxed as poor record historically on income. Suffolk County’s tax environmental and financial counsel delivered an opinion to By Perry Gershon matters. Or that Zeldin has the county attorney ruling that recently worked against 1099 forms from SIP should go to contractors and not to consumers. This should New Yorkers on the repeal of the SALT cap have been the end of the story. However, Suffolk and on Trump’s retaliation against the state County Comptroller John Kennedy (R), while by suspending New York applications to the engaged in a campaign against County Executive Trusted Traveler program. Zeldin’s Twitter feed Steve Bellone (D) during the elections last year, offers perpetual praise of the president, attacks disagreed with the tax opinion and inquired of on our governor, but not a word on the septic the IRS if county payments might be taxable to taxation issue. Long Island needs representatives homeowners? Despite protestations from the who will work for us — who have our back county and Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY), when the federal government takes shots at us. the IRS, always in need of funds, said yes, why Zeldin doesn’t fight for us. We have a chance in not? The ruling was issued earlier this month. November to show him how wrong that is. Perry Gershon is a national commentator So now unsuspecting homeowners are receiving 1099 forms reporting unforeseen additional on business, trade, policy and politics. A taxable personal income. What is essentially a congressional candidate for New York’s 1st new tax is sure to both impact those who already District, he holds a bachelor’s degree from Yale and a master’s in business administration from participate and dissuade future participants. What can be done? Bellone and his the University of California, Berkeley.
Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police 4th Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate two people who allegedly stole merchandise from a Commack store last month. A man and woman allegedly stole seven PlayStation games from Walmart, located at 85 Crooked Hill Road, Jan. 24 at approximately 5 p.m. The merchandise was valued at approximately $130. The suspects fled in a silver Chrysler sedan. Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward of up to $5,000 for information that leads to an arrest. Anyone with information about these incidents can contact Suffolk County Crime Stoppers to submit an anonymous tip by calling 1-800-220-8477 or online at www. P3Tips.com. All calls, text messages and emails will be kept confidential.
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Example of the prototype septic system at Strong’s Neck resident Tom O’Dwyer’s home. File photo by Tom O’Dwyer.
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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A7
County
Suffolk Nonprofits Attempt to Galvanize LI Populace for Census other counties have been encouraged to create their own committees. County Executive Steve Bellone (D) was named to the New York State It’s a once-in-a-decade request, and this year’s Complete Count Committee by Gov. Andrew census could determine just how much local Cuomo (D). “Suffolk County is not only the largest subschools, governments and nonprofits get in aid from the federal government. Not to mention, this urban county in the state of New York, but we year’s count could determine if New York could have the fourth largest and hardest-to-count popbe sending one or two less U.S. representatives to ulations in New York state,” Bellone said during a 2019 meeting with the Suffolk Complete Count Washington out of its current total of 27. It has enough officials worried that New York Committee. Approximately 40 percent of county State is funneling money around to different residents live in hard-to-count areas, he said. County officials have hosted census job fairs counties to get people to fill in the survey. Suffolk County is expected to receive $1.019 million this year and last, with positions paying $17 to toward its efforts. Officials have called for $23 an hour. Governments at both county and town level additional funds toward the census in this year’s budget, though most don’t expect the money to have started putting notices of the census in ofmaterialize before the census starts rolling in ficial emails and releases. Brookhaven Councilwoman Valerie Cartright (D-Port Jefferson mid-March. New York State Station) had been drafted to has made $20 million available partner with the complete of a total of $60 million to go count committee. She said the toward engagement efforts in town is working on a project local municipalities. $15 million with the tax receiver’s office is going to the state’s 62 counties. to send out a reminder in the This year, galvanizing the midyear tax receipts that goes populace to take the census has out to every household in become a phenomenon, with They have also players at the state, county and — Martha Maffei Brookhaven. started to include information local level putting a heavy emabout the census in town prophasis on this year’s survey. On the line, advocates say, is a correct polit- grams hosted this year and had representatives ical representation on a federal level as well from the census table at town events. “Undercounting of communities can have a as $675 billion annually in federal funds for prioritizing road work, school aid, grants and domino or ripple effect on community projects and issues for years to come,” the councilwoman Medicaid funding. Due to the 2010 census, New York lost two said in an email. “A complete and accurate count congressional seats, and some have said this of your community can result in improved infrayear’s count could lose the state one or two structure and schools, better community health more. Local groups, both small and large, have and programs and much more.” Steven Collins, who works for the U.S. Departthe task of energizing enough people to gain an ment of Commerce as a partnership specialist for accurate headcount. the census in Suffolk, said the big game changer Like herding cats, that’s much easier this year is the now-four different ways residents are going to be able to respond to the census. Peosaid than done Suffolk County Complete Count Committee ple can now respond over the internet, over the was created in 2019 in part by the nonprofits phone or using the usual mailed in paper survey. Health & Welfare Council of Long Island and The fourth way is when all other options are exLong Island Community Foundation to generate hausted, and when census operators have tried to reach an individual by several other means, an engagement for those efforts. Rebecca Sanin, president of HWCLI, said enumerator will knock on one’s door. Though not all see the incentivized online they have around 300 groups, including nonprofits, religious organizations, business organi- component as a good thing. Sanin said there are zations and governments, participating at least to many who have a general distrust of putting insome degree in outreach among 11 subcommit- formation online, due to the many examples of tees. The nonprofit has also established guide- private companies being hacked to get access to books and graphics for everyone from immigrant a user’s personal data. There is also a large digital divide, and many still do not have easy access or leaders to hospitals to senior citizens. “We’re really trying to build momentum, understanding how to use the online component. where the end is a 10-year funding impact to our Despite the online component, census region,” Sanin said. The committee has become a hub for join- promotion still requires boots on ing up the disparate groups looking to promote the ground Stony Brook University has been active in the census. The state has its own CCC, and BY KYLE BARR KYLE@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM
‘It’s the principle that we count, and we should be counted.’
People will start to see this year’s census mailed out in mid-March, and the census process continues for the next several months. Stock photo
trying to get students signed up for the count but have also started concerted efforts to encourage indigenous groups, especially those living on Long Island’s South Fork, to sign on for the census. Despite how seriously census takers have been in requesting surveys, that still has not stopped multiple areas coming back with low response rates, some barely above 50 percent. In Suffolk County presentations to the complete count committee, some communities are shown as much harder to count than others. While much of the North Shore shows a response rate of 70 percent or better, a large area in Huntington and Huntington Station, with sizable minority populations, have a response rate of 60 percent, at worst. At www.censushardtocountmaps2020.us, researchers have used previous census data to track which areas showed lower census participation. In Brookhaven, one area with low turnout happens to be around the hamlets of Ridge and Upton and in Selden and Centereach, especially in the area along Route 112 that has a previous response rate of only 60 to 65 percent. There are portions of Long Island with much worse representation. There are certain parts of West Babylon with a response rate as low as 0 to 60 percent. SEPA Mujer, a nonprofit immigrants rights advocacy group, has chapters in several of the areas that show low response rates, including Riverhead, Huntington Station and Patchogue. Martha Maffei, the executive director of the nonprofit, said they have formed coalitions at two of their three chapters specifically to energize the community for the census. Many of their organizers and members have advocated for local
immigrants to take the census which comes with the task of convincing the immigrant community the information will not be used against them by immigration enforcement. “It’s the principle that we count, and we should be counted,” Maffei said. Usually, she said, organizers take the tack of arguing that filling out the census will mean more funding for their school districts and how it will offer them better political representation. The complete count committee has organized 13 total groups on the immigration subcommittee who have all pledged to move through these communities. The issue, she said, is money, compounded with the amount of ground these volunteers have to cover, with only the some $1 million to be spread amongst all of Suffolk. Still, she’s optimistic these hard-to-count areas will be more active than 2010. The census is meant to track everyone, including those undocumented immigrants, in order to get a full understanding of total population, but in 2019 the potential for a citizenship question to appear on the census created a tornado of partisan bickering, with opponents saying such a citizenship question would specifically target Latino groups and incentivize them to not respond to the census, thereby limiting the political capital such groups could wield. Officials said the pro-citizenship question was needed to enforce the Voting Rights Act of 1965, designed to help blacks overcome legal barriers to voting during the Jim Crow era. In November of last year, The New York Times reported on disclosures from the White House hinting that Republican strategists had political reasons for encouraging a citizenship question, that it would increase Republican influence and political power once totals for the census were drawn by undercounting residents in largely Democratic areas. Judges ruled under Title 13, which states the government can only use data from the census for statistical purposes. Collins reiterated there will be no citizenship question on this year’s census, and all information is kept extremely confidential and secure. Yet the idea still lingers in the minds of some residents, and it is something census advocates said they have had to work around. Sanin and Maffei said the citizenship question has undoubtedly had a cooling effect toward the census, though to what extent is hard to gauge. “We feel we are going from one attack to another,” Maffei said. “There is a lot of trauma in this community.” The general distrust in government and in government systems is high, and trying to encourage people “living in the shadows,” as Sanin put it, is where much of the past year’s efforts have gone. “Fear nurtures an undercount, and an undercount nurtures our continued inequity,” she said.
PAGE A8 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • FEBRUARY 20, 2020
Community News A Very TBR Wedding
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Victoria Espinoza, a former editor of the Times of Huntington & Northport and the Times of Smithtown, wed Alex Petroski, former TBR News Media managing editor and editor of the Port Times Record and the Village Beacon Record, on Friday, Feb. 14. They were married at Huntington Town Hall as part of the Town’s marriage marathon event, a tradition in Huntington for more than 30 years. The couple met while working together at TBR News Media five years ago. Espinoza used to cover the marriage event at Town Hall.
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Fifth-graders at St. James Elementary School in the Smithtown Central School District held a wax museum for their classmates and families Feb. 14. After researching a historical figure of their choice, the students dressed the role and became part of the living museum. They portrayed famous historical people, sports stars and entertainment legends. When someone “buzzed” them, the figures came to life and were able to animate themselves and give a biographical history of their character. Left, a fifth-grader chose to learn more about the late Steve Irwin.
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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A9
University
Above, employees who began at Stony Brook Medicine 40 years ago, wearing red flowers, were honored at the hospital’s celebration. Below, an attendee looks at a time line display. Photos from Stony Brook Medicine
Stony Brook Hospital Celebrates 40 Years BY DAVID LUCES DLUCES@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM Stony Brook University Hospital has come a long way in its four-decade history. On Feb.14, past and current employees of SBUH gathered at the Medical and Research Translation building to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the opening of the facility. The idea of the region’s academic medical center was an ambitious undertaking, beginning in 1973 when construction began. Five years later, the two iconic hexagonal structures were completed. From there, a yearlong mass recruitment process began in which about 800 people were hired. Many of the hospital’s first employees didn’t know what to expect or in some cases how to get there. “They said you take the Long Island Expressway then go north on Nicolls Road and when you get to the Star Wars set you’ll know you’re there,” said Lawrence Hurst, professor and chair of the Department of Orthopaedics at the Renaissance School of Medicine. Hurst came to SBU in 1979 with the intent of being the hospital’s first hand surgeon. “It was an exciting adventure, the opportunity to become the first in a specialty was something I couldn’t pass up,” he said. “I was lucky enough to take full advantage of it.” Extensive logistical planning began before the hospital opened the following year. “When we came here, there were no patients, no equipment, we had a very small group of physicians in the beginning, now we have over 500,” Hurst said. As part of the celebration, hospital officials
showcased a video presentation highlighting the facility’s accomplishments throughout the years and included interviews with employees who shared their favorite memories. Some notable accomplishments included: doctors performing the first kidney transplant surgery on Long Island in 1981; the first Suffolk County police helicopter touching down on the hospital’s helipad in 1989; and in 1990, New York State designating the hospital a Level I Trauma Center. This past year, SBU opened the Children’s Hospital and MART Building. In addition to the presentation, a time line and exhibit were on display throughout the building showcasing the hospital’s history. Kenneth Kaushansky, senior vice president for health sciences and dean at the Renaissance School of Medicine, spoke about the reason he left San Diego to come to Stony Brook. “I saw incredible potential when I decided to come here 10 years ago,” he said. “It had a good medical school and good health care facilities.” Kaushansky said the further development of the medical school and the hospital over the years has been a “powerhouse.” “We have become one of the best hospitals in the country, a premier health center,” he said. Going forward, the senior vice president of health sciences said that SBU will continue to strengthen the hospital network throughout the Island and continue to advance the Renaissance School of Medicine. “As technology improves, I believe the future of health care will be more geared toward tele-help, tele-EMS and wearable devices,” he said. Carol Gomes, CEO of Stony Brook University Hospital, said she met many
lifelong friends and colleagues when she began to work in the laboratory in 1985. “I’ve been very fortunate to meet people along the way that have become great mentors to me,” she said. “I’ve been able to connect with them on a daily basis.” Gomes said as she has progressed in her own career the hospital has done the same. “We have continued to flourish as a health care organization,” Gomes said. “This celebration was a very special moment for me. I just think about the connections I’ve made over the years.”
The CEO of the hospital credited the facility’s staff. “The employees are the lifeblood of the organization, they come to work every day,” Gomes said. “Our greatest strength is our staff.” Gomes said if it weren’t for the staff, the hospital wouldn’t have had the clinical outcomes or the reputation for which it is known. “Everyone has the same goal ... The dedication of the staff to our patients will always remain the same, it has been our one constant,” she said. “Stony Brook has been my home away from home.”
PAGE A10 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • FEBRUARY 20, 2020
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AIRLINE CAREERS Start Here. Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call AIM for free information. 866-296-7094
P/T CUSTODIAL WORKER Moderately heavy manual work cleaning library buildings. Variety of housekeeping tasks and occasional minor maintenance. Entry salary $19.90 per hour. Email letter of application and your resume to smithjob@smithlib.org. See Display Ad for more Information.
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©101878
PUBLISHER’S EMPLOYMENT NOTICE: All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to section 296 of the human rights law which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, creed, national origin, disability, marital status, sex, age or arrest conviction record or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. Title 29, U.S. Code Chap 630, excludes the Federal Gov’t. from the age discrimination provisions. This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for employment which is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that employment offerings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis.
JOB OPPORTUNITY $18.50 P/H NYC $16 P/H LI Up to $13.50 P/H UPSTATE NY CDPAP Caregiver Hourly Pay Rate! Under NYS CDPAP Medicaid program you can hire your family or friends for your care. Phone: 347-713-3553
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Help Wanted
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Help Wanted
Place your ad today Call 631.751.7663 or 631.331.1154
Part-time position at Town of Brookhaven Safety Town Facility. 26 hours/week; flexible. Must be available to work occasional nights/ weekends. Provide traffic safety instruction for elementary-school field trips and teen driver safety programs. NYS driver’s license required. Salary varies by experience.
For more information, call 631.451.6480. ©104878
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SERV ICES Cleaning COME HOME TO A CLEAN HOUSE! Attention to detail is MY PRIORITY. Serving the Three Village Area. Call Jacquie 347-840-0890
Clean-Ups LET STEVE DO IT Clean-ups, yards, basements, whole house, painting, tree work, local moving and anything else. Totally overwhelmed? Call Steve @ 631-745-2598, leave message.
Computer Services/ Repairs COMPUTER ISSUES? FREE DIAGNOSIS BY GEEKS ON SITE! Virus Removal, Data Recovery! 24/7 EMERGENCY SERVICE, In-home repair/ On-line solutions. $20 OFF ANY SERVICE! 844-892-3990
Decks DECKS ONLY BUILDERS & DESIGNERS Of Outdoor Living By Northern Construction of LI. Decks, Patios/Hardscapes, Pergolas, Outdoor Kitchens and Lighting. Since 1995. Lic/Ins. 3rd Party Financing Available. 105 Broadway, Greenlawn. 631-651-8478. www.DecksOnly.com
Electricians ANTHEM ELECTRIC MASTER ELECTRICIAN Quality Light & Power since 2004. Commercial, Industrial, Residential. Port Jefferson. Please call 631-291-8754 Andrew@Anthem-Electric.net SOUNDVIEW ELECTRICAL CONTRACTING Prompt* Reliable* Professional. Residential/Commercial, Free Estimates. Ins/Lic#57478-ME. Owner Operator, 631-828-4675 See our Display Ad in the Home Services Directory
Place your ad today Call 631.751.7663 or 631.331.1154 Exterminating HOMESTEAD WILDLIFE SOLUTIONS Humane Trapping & Rodent Prevention. Sealing all acess points. Daniel Wafer: call or text 631-295-6186. NYS#2852 homesteadwildlifesolutions.com hmstdwildlife@optonline.net
Fences SMITHPOINT FENCE. DEER PROBLEM? WE CAN HELP! Wood, PVC, Chain Link, Stockade. Free estimates. Now offering 12 month interest free financing. Commercial/Residential. 70 Jayne Blvd., PJS. Lic.37690-H/Ins. 631-743-9797 www.smithpointfence.com.
Floor Services/Sales FELIX’S FLOOR’S AND HOME IMPROVEMENTS Wood, Laminate Floors. Sanding, Staining, Repairing, and Installation of Laminate and Vinyl Planks. Plus we do all Home Improvements. See Display for more information. 631-294-6634
Floor Services/Sales FINE SANDING & REFINISHING Wood Floor Installations Craig Aliperti, Wood Floors LLC. All work done by owner. 27 years experience. Lic.#47595-H/Insured. 631-875-5856
Furniture/Restoration/ Repairs REFINISHING & RESTORATION Antiques restored, repairing recane, reupholstery, touch-ups kitchen, front doors, 40 yrs exp, SAVE$$$, free estimates. Vincent Alfano 631-707-1228
Handyman Services JOHN’S A-1 HANDYMAN SERVICE *Crown moldings* Wainscoting/raised panels. Kitchen/Bathroom Specialist. Painting/windows/ceramic tile, finished-basements. All types repairs. Dependable craftsmanship. Reasonable rates. Lic/Ins.#19136-H. 631-744-0976 c.631-697-3518
Housesitting Services TRAVELING? Need someone to check on your home? Contact Tender Loving Pet Care, LLC. We’re more than just pets. Insured/Bonded. 631-675-1938
Home Improvement ALL PHASES OF HOME IMPROVEMENT From attic to your basement, no job too big or too small, RCJ Construction www.rcjconstruction.com commercial/residential, lic/ins 631-580-4518. *BluStar Construction* The North Shore’s Most Trusted Renovation Experts. 631-751-0751 We love small jobs too! Suffolk Lic. #48714-H, Ins. See Our Display Ad LONG HILL CARPENTRY 40 years experience All phases of home improvement. Old & Historic Restorations. Lic.#H22336/Ins. 631-751-1764 longhill7511764@aol.com
Home Improvement ISLAND HARBOR HOME REMODELING Now is a good time to do BASEMENTS! All phases of remodeling. Specializing in Kitchens & Bathrooms. Over 40 years of experience. Owner always on the job. Lic/Ins. 631-972-7082, please leave message LAMPS FIXED, $65. In Home Service!! Handy Howard. My cell 646-996-7628 REMODELING/RENOVATIONS bathroom/kitchen specialists, we do all wall removals, open floor plans, doors, windows, trim, handyman repairs, free estimates, 24 hour service Bill Weiss, Design/Builder 631-399-1192. THREE VILLAGE HOME IMPROVEMENT Kitchens & Baths, Ceramic Tile, Hardwood floors, Windows/ Doors, Interior Finish trim, Interior/Exterior Painting, Composite Decking, Wood Shingles. Serving the community for 30 years. Rich Beresford, 631-689-3169
FEBRUARY 20, 2020 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A13
SERV ICES Lawn & Landscaping
Place your ad today Call 631.751.7663 or 631.331.1154
Landscape Materials
Privacy Hedges -SPRING BLOWOUT SALE 6ft Arborvitae Reg $179 Now $80 Beautiful, Nursery Grown. FREE Installation/FREE delivery, Limited Supply! ORDER NOW: 518-536-1367 www.lowcosttreefarm.com
Miscellaneous
SCREENED TOP SOIL Mulch, compost, decorative and driveway stone, concrete pavers, sand/block/portland. Fertilizer and seed. JOS. M. TROFFA MATERIALS CORP. 631-928-4665, www.troffa.com
Legal Services
SETAUKET LANDSCAPE DESIGN Stone Driveways/Walkways, Walls/Stairs/Patios/Masonry, Brickwork/Repairs Land Clearing/Drainage,Grading/ Excavating. Plantings/Mulch, Rain Gardens. Steve Antos, 631-689-6082 setauketlandscape.com Serving Three Villages
Lung Cancer? And Age 60+? You And Your Family May Be Entitled To Significant Cash Award. No Risk. No Money Out Of Pocket. For Information Call 877-225-4813
SWAN COVE LANDSCAPING Lawn Maintenance, Clean-ups, Shrub/Tree Pruning, Removals. Landscape Design/Installation, Ponds/Waterfalls, Stone Walls. Firewood. Free estimates. Lic/Ins.631-689-8089
CARL BONGIORNO LANDSCAPE/MASON CONTRACTOR All phases Masonry Work:Stone Walls, Patios, Poolscapes. All phases of Landscaping Design. Theme Gardens. Residential & Commercial. Lic/Ins. 631-928-2110
Masonry
DISH TV $59.99 For 190 Channels + $14.95 High Speed Internet. Free Installation, Smart HD DVR Included, Free Voice Remote. Some restrictions apply. 1-888-609-9405 GET DIRECTV! ONLY $35/month! 155 Channels & 1000s of Shows/Movies on Demand. (w/SELECT All Included Package). PLUS Stream on Up to FIVE Screens Simultaneously at No Additional Cost. Call DIRECTV, 1-888-534-6918
Painting/Spackling/ Wallpaper ALL PRO PAINTING INTERIOR/EXTERIOR Power Washing, Staining, Wallpaper Removal. Free estimates. Lic/Ins #19604HI 631-696-8150. Nick
Painting/Spackling/ Wallpaper
Painting/Spackling/ Wallpaper
BOB’S PAINTING SERVICE 25 Years Experience. Interior/Exterior Painting, Spackling, Staining, Wallpaper Removal, Staining and Deck Restoration Power Washing. Free Estimates. Lic/Ins. #17981. 631-744-8859
LaROTONDA PAINTING & DESIGN Interior/exterior, sheetrock repairs, taping/spackling, wallpaper removal, Faux, decorative finishings. Free estimates. Lic.#53278-H/Ins. Ross LaRotonda 631-689-5998
Roofing/Siding
COUNTY-WIDE PAINTING INTERIOR/EXTERIOR Painting/Staining. Quality workmanship. Living and Serving Three Village Area for over 30 years. Lic#37153-H. 631-751-8280
JOSEPH BONVENTRE CONSTRUCTION Roofing, siding, windows, decks, repairs. Quality work, guaranteed. Owner operated. Over 25 years experience. Lic/Ins. #55301-H. Call or Text 631-428-6791
ED’S PAINTING INTERIOR/EXTERIOR Wallpaper removal, spackling, sheetrock repair. Over 25 years experience. Commercial/Residential. Reasonable rates. 631-704-7547
RANDALL BROTHERS TREE SERVICE Planting, pruning, removals, stump grinding. Free Estimates. Fully insured. LIC# 50701-H. 631-862-9291
Tree Work
Tree Work ARBOR-VISTA TREE CARE A COMPLETE TREE CARE SERVICE devoted to the care of trees. Maintenance pruning, water-view work, sun-trimming, elevating, pool areas, storm thinning, large tree removal, stump grinding. Wood chips. Lic#18902HI. Free estimates. 631-246-5377 CLOVIS OUTDOOR SERVICES LTD. Expert Tree Removal AND Pruning. Landscape Design and maintenance, Edible Gardens, Plant Healthcare, Exterior Lighting. 631-751-4880 clovisoutdoors@gmail.com SUNBURST TREE EXPERTS Since 1974, our history of customer satisfaction is second to none. Pruning/removals/planting, plant health care. Insect/ Disease Management. ASK ABOUT GYPSY MOTH AND TICK SPRAYS Bonded employees. Lic/Ins. #8864HI 631-744-1577
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738 Smithtown Bypass, Ste. 110, Smithtown, NY 11787 (next to Tutor Time)
Tel: 631.360.0862 • Fax: 631.656.8805
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PAGE A14 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • FEBRUARY 20, 2020
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• Miller Place • Baiting Hollow • Sound Beach • Mt. Sinai • Rocky Point • Shoreham • Wading River
The Village TIMES HERALD • Stony Brook • Strong’s Neck • Setauket • Old Field • Poquott
The Port TIMES RECORD • Port Jefferson • Port Jefferson Sta. • Harbor Hills • Belle Terre
The TIMES of Smithtown • Smithtown • Hauppauge • Commack • E. Fort Salonga • San Remo
• Kings Park • St. James • Nissequogue • Head of the Harbor
tbrnewsmedia.com
The TIMES of Middle Country • Selden • Centereach • Lake Grove
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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A15
HOME SERV ICES
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PAGE A16 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • FEBRUARY 20, 2020
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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A17
R E A L ESTATE Houses For Sale
Commercial Property/ Yard Space
Commercial Property/ Yard Space PUBLISHERS’ NOTICE All real estate advertised herein is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act, which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitation, or discrimination because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or intention to make any such preference, limitation, or discrimination.” We will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of the law. All persons are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised are available on an equal opportunity basis.
PUBLISHERS’ NOTICE All real estate advertised herein is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act, which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitation, or discrimination because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or intention to make any such preference, limitation, or discrimination.” We will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of the law. All persons are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised are available on an equal opportunity basis.
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PAGE A18 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • FEBRUARY 20, 2020
Editorial
Letters to the Editor
Don’t Eliminate Bail Losquadro Calls on State to Increase Road Funding Reform, Fix It
Sometimes change can take a bit of time. Months after state legislators moved to eliminate cash bail for low-level crimes, issues with the law, plain for all to see, have created another partisan fight in Albany. Democrats have said they wish to take a closer look at the criminal-justice reform measures originally passed as addenda to the state’s 2020 budget. Republicans, despite knowing the bill was coming down the pike for months since it was passed in the middle of last year, started calling for complete repeal at the outset of the law being enacted. They should have given input earlier. We agree that taking a closer look at this law is a necessary measure and, while it shouldn’t be repealed, it can be made stronger with revisions. We understand the basic intentions of the bail reform law. In the past, many who were arrested for allegedly committing a low-level crime were unable to make bail, while others with fatter wallets could simply walk out and continue with their lives until their trials. Those who couldn’t afford to pay up and had a job would lose days at their workplace and potentially could lose the job itself. Pretrial incarceration can also be detrimental regarding child custody. Of course, sticking a person in prison for extended periods may even incentivize innocent people to take a plea deal just to get out, now with a crime on their record. And despite bail bond companies cries of loss of revenue when it comes to a suspect’s stay in jail, the costs are on the taxpayers. Several local Democrats have asked to revise the law, including state Assemblyman Steve Englebright (D-Setauket) and state Sen. Jim Gaughran (D-Northport). Englebright’s focus is on barring dangerous criminal defendants from being released. We agree. There needs to be some kind of direction for judges to hold those who can be a danger to others, whether they are repeated arsonists, stalkers, domestic or child abusers or have stacks of DWI arrests. Republicans and Democrats need to take things a step further and review the more-than 400 offenses — most misdemeanors and some felonies — that enable one to be released before trial without paying bail. There are differences between acts such as gambling offenses, unauthorized use of a credit card and bribing a witness compared to the reckless assault of a child, committing a hate crime or vehicular manslaughter. Those who have had their mugshot taken time after time also should be treated with more scrutiny than a first-time offender. But Republican calls for a complete repeal do not help engage with what has long been a broken and lopsided system, that obviously benefits the rich above the poor. New York should look toward New Jersey, whose bail reform, enacted in 2017, was supported by none other than Republican Gov. Chris Christie. Even their rollout wasn’t completely clean but statistics have shown crime has gone down, and offenders are no more likely to skip out on court dates than they had been in previous years. The New York reform bill started on the right track, looking out for those who were unable to pay bail, but it needs closer scrutiny. A closer look is needed to give judges more leeway to keep those who are a danger to the public off the streets and, on the other side of the issue when it comes to deciding on a bail amount at arraignment, to take into consideration not a person’s flight risk but their income and severity of the alleged crime. It should be noted that taking a closer look at this law will take time and, while Election Day 2020 is looming in the background, decisions on such a bill where lives are at stake shouldn’t be rushed to appease some voters.
I am incredibly honored to have been elected by my colleagues as president of the Suffolk County Highway Superintendents Association. This two-year term coincides with the start of my new four-year term of office as superintendent of highways for the Town of Brookhaven. The purpose of this organization is to promote the free exchange of ideas between members of our industry and, perhaps most importantly right now, advocate for state and federal infrastructure money on Long Island, specifically for Suffolk County. We are at a pivotal point in New York state. Our road system is in desperate need of additional funding to bolster the local investments made by our municipalities. With our chronically underfunded infrastructure, it is no coincidence that our state continues to lose population to other parts of the country. Brookhaven, Babylon and many other towns across Long Island have significantly increased our local share of funding for road work; it is high time for the state to do the same.
While the governor and state legislature seem to announce major projects for New York City and other parts of the state every year, Suffolk County and other suburban parts of the state are left fighting each year just to maintain funding levels that are far too low. Unfortunately, this year was no exception. In the governor’s State of the State address, he announced $6 billion in capital funding for an expansion of Penn Station and another $300 million to “reimagine” the Erie Canal. While every project proposed holds benefits, where are the transformational projects for Long Island, for Suffolk County, for the townships here fighting to keep pace with stagnated infrastructure funding? The latest press release from the governor’s office references the nation-leading infrastructure investment they are proposing. This funding, statewide, does not even equal resurfacing the total lane miles of road in the Town of Brookhaven. We all know that high profile projects make for good headlines. A new bridge, a new train station or a rebuilt airport all serve
the needs of a large portion of the population, that much is obvious. What is lost in the glitz and glamour of those ventures is that the residents who use them still have to traverse woefully underfunded local infrastructure to get to these new facilities. The mechanism by which aid is distributed to municipalities by New York State is called the Consolidated Highway Improvement Program (known as CHIPS). The base allocation stands at $483 million statewide and has not been adjusted — for inflation or otherwise — in many years. I am calling on the governor and state Legislature to, at minimum, double this allocation to provide local departments of public works the funding we so desperately need to improve local roads. For years my colleagues and I have been advocating for exactly this. The time is now for our representatives to deliver for Long Island. Daniel Losquadro (R) Town of Brookhaven Highway Superintendent
A Thank You for TBR’s Readers’ Choice Award On Feb. 5, Leah Dunaief, publisher of Times Beacon Record News Media, presented the TBR 2019 Readers’ Choice Awards to scores of winning local businesses and professionals from the North Shore of Long Island. Winning this award was doubly meaningful for us, as winning was based solely on the write-in votes of loyal customers and clients for each of the businesses. The
event clearly demonstrated TBR’s support and commitment to community, business, and our shared values and goals. Not only did the award winners get to meet their fellow professionals and business owners, we all felt valued and appreciated as an integral part of our larger community. It was a wonderful and rewarding experience, and we at Ecolin Jewelers want to extend our heartfelt thanks to all of you who voted for us.
Also, we want to especially thank Leah Dunaief for once again being a champion of local commerce. We look forward to continuing our relationship with TBR, maintaining relationships with longtime business friends, as well as those winning business owners we just met. Linda Baker, Owner Ecolin Jewelers Port Jefferson
Zeldin Needs to Answer to Constituents
This week, Congress is on recess. These are considered “state work” periods, where members of Congress come home to their district, and meet with constituents to address concerns and issues they may have. Unfortunately, Congressman Lee Zeldin (R-Shirley) has not scheduled any town halls for this recess, and has not held any for the past three years. This means that the many questions I have over his recent votes will not be heard or addressed in a public forum. I would like to know why Zeldin voted against removing the deadline to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment, a key piece of legislation that would enshrine equality in our Constitution. I would like to know why he voted against the Protecting the Right to Organize Act, which protects workers rights to form a union at their workplace.
I would like to know why he voted against the Protecting America’s Wilderness Act,. I would like to know why he voted against emergency supplemental appropriations for our fellow citizens in Puerto Rico. I would like to know why he voted against the resolution that condemned the Trump administration’s harmful cuts to Medicaid. These are just a few of the votes that Zeldin has cast since returning to Washington last month. And unfortunately, constituents will not be able to demand an answer, as we will again be denied a public town hall. Aside from these troubling votes, the biggest question that I have for Zeldin is why he refuses to do his job and honor basic representative democracy by holding publicly announced forums where constituents are free to ask questions, and
receive answers. I would like to know why our member of Congress has provided us with fewer opportunities for representative democracy than many of his counterparts around the country. This is an injustice to the taxpayers of this district and to representative democracy itself. Perhaps Zeldin is afraid of the angry voters that will confront him in this type of setting. That is understandable, but it is not an excuse to shirk his responsibility. Public service, especially in politics, is not for the faint of heart. If Mr. Zeldin is too frightened to face the people whose taxes pay his salary, perhaps it’s time to replace him with someone who will. Shoshana Hershkowitz South Setauket
FEBRUARY 20, 2020 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A19
Opinion
Recognizing the Stresses Beyond Our Control
S
he could feel the tension mounting. She had been down this road, or, more specifically, on this runway, numerous times before. Flying didn’t bother her. She had taken many flights before she met her husband. Since they’d been married, they had also taken trips each year. That’s when the trouble started. He didn’t blame her, D. None but as someone who of the above shared his feelings and wanted to help BY DANIEL DUNAIEF him when she could, she often felt at a loss as this moment approached. She looked at the stranger next to her, eager to encourage a new person to enter the
dialogue and distract him from his frustration. At first, the stranger didn’t engage in conversation, preferring to read his book and to look through the movie offerings on his phone. The ride around the airport took a while, as the plane stopped a few times to let other flights land. Unable to break the ice with the man on the other side of her, she turned to her husband and hoped the game they’d developed might help. “Hey,” she said, “how long do you think it’ll take this time?” He grumbled something between his gritted teeth. “Well,” she said, not bothering to ask him to repeat himself when she felt that the words were less relevant than the angry emotion that built up inside of him. “I’m going with eight.” “Eight?” he spit back at her incredulously. “No way! It’s going to be at least 12.” When the plane stopped and the Jetway came out to meet it, the man started his
stopwatch, holding it up so she could see. After three minutes, the passenger on her other side, who had heard the abbreviated conversation and could feel the tension rising between them as the man glared, unblinking, at the front of the plane and all the passengers between him and the next step on his trip, decided to break the frustrated silence in their row. “Are you guys guessing how long it’ll be before you get off the plane?” he asked. “Yes,” she sighed, grateful for the relief from watching and taking care of her husband. A flight attendant made an announcement. “Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, we’re waiting for a gate attendant to fix the lock on the other side. It should only be a few minutes,” she said. The man near the window shook his head. The woman shrugged at what she hoped was her new ally. “Well, we’ll just start now,” she offered, as she set her own stopwatch on her phone and encouraged him to follow the new timing.
“You see,” she said, “he gets angry when people aren’t ready to go after the plane lands.” He turned away from the front of the plane long enough to explain himself to the stranger near the aisle. “They turn off the seatbelt sign and people don’t get their luggage,” he snarled, gesturing with his palm at all the offending passengers between the door to the rest of his travels and the seat that barely contained his irritation. “Look at them, sitting there. It’s going to take each of them a while to get off. They have to find their bags, pull them out and get off the plane.” The stranger offered the weary wife a supportive look. She appreciated the gesture, even as she made sure all her items were ready to go. “These things are beyond your control,” the stranger offered. “That’s true, but it still bothers him,” she sighed as she held her bags tightly in her hand.
overheard saying that they didn’t want to get married or to have children were dismissed as simply being odd. Looking back on it now, it took courage to make either declaration in most of the 20th century. Welcome to the 21st century, where marriage is considered something of a quaint option. Living together? How romantic! Been together 10 years? You must like each other. Have two children together? How nice. No one thinks to call them by a derogatory name. There is no shame in their unmarried parental state. Oh, decided to marry after these many years? Lovely. Your younger daughter can be the flower girl, your son the ring bearer. In fact, according to the NYT article written by Hilary Sheinbaum, we’ve gone even further from the centuries’ old norm. Many women are opting out of relationships and finding they prefer to be single, is the latest word on the subject. “Instead of moping over singledom or aggressively trying to find partners with arbitrary deadlines in mind, they are declaring to be happily unmarried and proudly find solace in living solo,” she said. This is despite the many dating apps, matchmakers
and sometimes astonishingly frank and graphic love advice out there in magazines, books or Google. And despite raging hormones. “When you’re not seeking partnership, you are in a very relaxed calm inner space and generally more comfortable with who you are,” said Carla Manly, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships and self-awareness and was quoted in the Times. “A lot of times in relationships, you need to make sacrifices. You don’t have any sacrifices to make when you are on your own. You make all the decisions,” said Genesis Games, another therapist. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, as recently as 2016, 110.6 million U.S. residents at least 18 years old were unmarried. That is about one-third our population. Women made up 53.2 percent of that number. Many of them might agree with that sentiment. So, being the self-proclaimed expert on the subject, how do I feel? Yes, being in complete control of one’s own life, at least as far as relationships go, has its satisfactions. It makes for a wonderfully selfish existence. Best of all, however, is to have a choice.
A Rush into Marriage No More
T
his coming Monday my husband and I would have celebrated 57 years of marriage. Except we won’t because he died 32 years ago, just shy of our 25th anniversary. This means that I have been unmarried longer than I was a wife, which makes me something of an expert-of-one on the subject of marrying or being single. It also explains my riveted reading of “They’re More than Happy Not to Get Married,” in the Sunday Styles section of this past week’s New York Times. Say, what? First, we ought Between to consider how the you and me idea and institution of marriage BY LEAH S. DUNAIEF have incredibly changed over the last century. Indeed, we have lived through a
marriage revolution. I was 22 when I became a bride, considered young today. At the time, my mother told me just before the ceremony, as she was helping me get into my gown, that “I had just missed being an old maid.” After all, she was entitled to that perspective since she married in 1925 at 17. There was never any question that I would marry. Pretty much all of us in my class expected to marry shortly after graduation. The only question was whom we would marry, and the answer was usually whoever we had been dating — usually chastely — for the preceding couple of years. And we certainly wanted to have our children before we turned 30 and, as women, our reproductive prospects began to dim. One close friend even married before senior year ended and was already pregnant as she crossed the stage to receive her diploma from the college president. It was the same expectation for men. My husband-to-be was in his last year of medical school. Yup, time to get married. We followed the script, set down by our respective parents and society. The one or two people we
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PAGE A20 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • FEBRUARY 20, 2020
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