Issue 45 Volume 41
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Seattle Gay News
IT’S ED!
SEATTLE’S LGBT NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
Murray wins Seattle mayor’s race by 12 points by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer
nate gowdy / seattle gay news
Ed Murray and husband Michael Shiosaki celebrate on election night
Ed Murray will take office as the new mayor of Seattle on January 1. The two-term state senator jumped to a 12-point lead over incumbent Mayor Mike McGinn on election night, and that margin held up over the next two days as additional ballots were counted, frustrating the incumbent’s hopes that late voters would swing the election his way. Ballot-counting continued as SGN went to press, with Murray holding a 10-point lead late Thursday. McGinn conceded defeat at a press conference on November 7. “Sometimes I rubbed people the wrong way, but I was always trying to do the right thing,” he said. McGinn added he had already phoned Murray to concede. “I congratulated him on his victory ... and offered our support for
the transition,” McGinn said. “He put together a very strong campaign.” For his part, Murray said in a subsequent statement that the phone conversation with McGinn was “substantive and cordial,” and added that he “thanked the mayor for his service, and told him that he respected his tremendous passion and dedication to the people of Seattle.” A WINNING STRATEGY The election was a stunning rejection of a sitting mayor, and proof, if any was needed, that Murray is one of the city’s most popular politicians. It was also proof that the Murray team had a winning campaign strategy – to convince voters that Murray could actually deliver on the progressive promises that Mcsee murray page 6
U.S. Senate passes ENDA Illinois passes full equality by historic 64 to 34 vote marriage Governor to sign bill later this month; Landmark nondiscrimination bill faces opposition in House
weddings will begin June 1, 2014
Antonio Perez / Chicago Tribune
Jonathan Ernst/Reuters
by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer
Marriage equality is finally a done deal in Illinois, the nation’s fifth most populous state. The Illinois legislature gave its final approval on November 5 to a bill legalizing same-sex marriage, sending it to Gov. Pat Quinn for his signature. Quinn, who strongly supports the measure, said he would delay the signing to allow time to organize a signing Illinois Representative Greg Harris is congratulated Tuesday after the Illinois House voted to ceremony. approve a Gay marriage bill he sponsored. “We’re going to U.S. Senator Tammy Baldwin (l) celebrates with supporters after a vote to pass make an arrangement so lots and mocracy is all about – people banthe Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), legislation to ban workplace discrimination against Gays. lots of people can come to the cer- ning together for a cause they beby Mike Andrew November 7. Sixty-four senators Both of Washington’s U.S. emony,” Quinn told the Chicago lieve in, passing a law that makes SGN Staff Writer voted yes, with only 32 voting no. senators were vocal supporters of Tribune. “I think it’s important to our state a better place.” Earlier in the day, the Senate the measure, and they celebrated have an opportunity for the people Once Quinn signs the bill into In a vote that can only be de- voted 64-34 to end debate, break- its passage in statements issued who worked so hard in the com- law, marriages can begin on June munity to pass marriage equality 1, 2014. The bill’s legislative scribed as historic, the U.S. Sen- ing a Republican filibuster. Ten shortly after the bill passed. to have an opportunity to be there ate passed ENDA, the Employ- Republicans joined 54 Democrats ment Non-Discrimination Act, on to move the measure to the floor. see enda page 9 at the bill signing. This is what desee illinois page 9
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Celebrating 40 Years!
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At this early stage of marriage equality there is no consensus on titles, but I’ve noticed that younger couples seem to have an easier time using the terms “husband” or “wife” for one another. Those of us who are a little older, it seems, prefer “partner.” Understanding this difference requires an understanding of the history of the Gay rights struggle back to 1969. That was the year that marriage equality first became a real issue. The Rev. Troy Perry of the Metropolitan Community Church started to perform commitment ceremonies and, within a few years, parishioners from his churches around the nation began to push the government by applying for marriage certificates. But the majority of the Gay rights movement at the time was very anti-religious, feeling that religion had oppressed LGBT people for hundreds of years. They argued that marriage was a religious institution and, therefore, we should not try to become “heterosexual” by seeking to marry. This attitude made most activists somewhat condescending toward Perry and the MCC. I can personally attest to this, since I was a member of a group of Gay men and women who picketed him and his organizing meetings. That’s actually how we met and became friends.
WHAT’S IN A TITLE? couple in their New Jersey county to leBut aside from the religious aspect, gally wed last week, the discussion turned to how they would refer to one another now there’s another issue that LGBT pioneers At the dinner party for the wedding of that they’re married. Would it be “partner,” are facing when they hear those titles. friends who became the first same-sex “spouse,” or “husband”? Many, like myself, recall the days not so long ago when an LGBT couple would be asked, “Which one of you is the husband, and which is the wife?” This still happens today in some places. To many of us who have attempted to deal with that question over the years, it was disheartening. In answering, you tried not to insult the person asking the question by explaining that there was more to a relationship than simply sex and role-playing. Our relationships are about building an entire life together. For same-sex couples, deciding how to refer to one another is a personal decision, and there is no “correct” choice. But maybe those who call each other “husband” and “wife” are doing us all a favor – after seeing two husbands or two wives using those terms, perhaps that naïve person will be less likely to ask which is which. by Mark Segal Philadelphia Gay News
Mark Segal, PGN publisher, is the nation’s most-award-winning commentator in LGBT media. He can be reached at mark@ epgn.com.
November 8, 2013
Celebrating 40 Years!
lydia grimes
Local news
Entre Hermanos gala un gran éxito by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor Entre Hermanos held their annual gala event, which this year coincided with the traditional holiday Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), November 2 at the Northwest African American Museum. Roxana Pardo Garcia served as mistress
with the Washington Bus. He regularly speaks out in support of comprehensive immigration reform. Three years ago, Padilla came out not only as undocumented but also Queer, intersecting both of his identities in his activism. Over the summer, Padilla worked with the National Education Association and United We DREAM for immigration reform in Washington, D.C. Padilla
The event provided supporters with the chance to hear about the organization’s recent work and an opportunity to further support the work Entre Hermanos does in the Latino LGBT community. of ceremonies and Marcos Martinez, Entre Hermanos’ executive director, kicked off the event by welcoming the audience, who enjoyed a Mexican buffet-style dinner provided by Maya’s Mexican Restaurant. The event featured performances by Miss Gay Seattle 2013 Isabella De La Rosa, Rey Noyola, Jacque Larrainzar, Jack Mozie, Jesus Orea, and Joel Aguirre (“La Gorda”). Aleksa Manila was a guest speaker and Alejandra Solis gave a client testimonial. This year’s Community Leadership Award recipient is Carlos Padilla. Padilla works with the Washington DREAM Act Coalition and served as a summer fellow
hopes one day to work on campaign directing and advocacy in Olympia and D.C., moving social justice agendas forward. The event provided supporters with the chance to hear about the organization’s recent work and an opportunity to further support the work Entre Hermanos does in the Latino LGBT community. The family-friendly entertainment included traditional Mexican music. Entre Hermanos promotes the health and wellbeing of the Latino LGBTQ community through education, outreach, advocacy, and referrals. For more information, visit www.entrehermanos.org. lydia grimes
lydia grimes
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by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer Losing no time after incumbent Mayor Mike McGinn conceded the election, Seattle Mayor-elect Ed Murray announced the co-chairs of his transition team on November 7. To head the transition, Murray chose his longtime ally, former City Council member Martha Choe, and King County Budget Director Dwight Dively. A statement issued by the Murray campaign said both will participate “in a personal capacity.” Choe, currently chief administrative officer for the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, served on the City Council from 1992 through 2000. Murray got his start in politics as her legislative aide and has remained close to her throughout his career. She is said to be one of the key allies he consulted when making his decision to run for mayor. Dively is director of the Office of Performance, Strategy, and Budget for King County, and previously served for 16 years as Director of Finance for the City of Se-
file photo
Murray announces transition team leaders attle. In 2009, newly elected Mayor Mike McGinn demoted Dively, sending him to supervise the city’s fleets and facilities. He quit the city soon afterwards, going to work for County Executive Dow Constantine. “I am deeply honored that Martha and Dwight have agreed to take on this important role,” Murray said in a statement. “Martha gave me my first job in public service, and I still consider her a mentor. And Dwight is universally acknowledged to be one of our region’s foremost experts on issues of governance and budgeting.” Murray said he, Choe, and Dively would move quickly to form a full transition committee, which Murray pledged will reflect the diversity of the city. They intend to announce the full committee next week. Murray will take office on January 1, and Choe and Dively, “working closely with Mayor-elect Murray, will lead the effort to evaluate city department directors and organize and staff the mayor’s office,” Murray’s campaign said.
Martha Choe, Chief Administrative Officer for the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation
DOUBLE-DIGIT LEAD Murray was “successful” in spades. According to a Survey USA exit poll commissioned by KING 5 News, Murray led the incumbent by double digits on every significant issue. A whopping 60% of the respondents said Murray would do a better job of managing city government, against only 29% for McGinn. Fifty-seven percent said Murray would be able to help the local economy; only 28% picked McGinn. On the contentious issue of overseeing the Seattle Police Department – now under a federal consent decree because of excessive use of force against minority communities – 54% expected Murray to do a better job, while only 29% opted for McGinn.
care benefits, pensions, and workers’ compensation,” the union said. “As Minority Leader, Sen. Murray provided leadership to fund state employee contracts and the first increase in five years for low-wage home care workers, who start at only $10 per hour. He helped win better wages for working people and he’s leading the way to help all working people by putting a $15-per-hour minimum wage at the center of his economic platform.” ‘COLLABORATIVE’ STYLE Seattle City Council President Sally Clark, a Murray supporter, expressed confidence that the mayor-elect would be able to deliver on his promises. Although she acknowledged McGinn’s
“As a senator, Ed stood with workers to fight proposed cuts to state employee health-care benefits, pensions, and workers’ compensation.”
nate gowdy / seattle gay news
Seattle Mayor-Elect Senator Ed Murray at his election night event
murray
continued from cover Ginn had made but could not always keep in his four years as mayor. Murray strategist Sandeep Kaushik told SGN in an e-mail that he conceived of the campaign in two parts. “The first part of it is that while voters liked the mayor’s commitment to progressive values, they questioned his effectiveness,” Kaushik wrote. “Also, his combative approach to governance turned off a lot of
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Seattle Gay News
the public, and meant that they were willing to consider an alternative. “But that alternative has to be credible. Voters understand that the job of mayor is a difficult one, and that it requires proven skills and experience. They also want to like their mayor, and want her or him to share their values. So the second part of the equation is that Ed was successful in demonstrating to voters that, like the mayor, he is a strong progressive, but he also has a real track record of major accomplishments, and has the coalition-building skills to be successful.”
November 8, 2013
Even on McGinn’s signature issues – public transportation and getting the state government to absorb possible cost overruns on the waterfront tunnel project – voters expected Murray to do a better job than the incumbent. According to the poll, Murray had a 20-point lead on “improving traffic and transportation,” and a 26-point lead on “convincing the state to pay potential cost overruns on [the] waterfront tunnel.” Murray was also helped by his legendary prowess as a fundraiser, out-raising his opponent by more than a quarter-million dollars. So-called “independent expenditure” groups supporting the two candidates, but not connected with their official campaigns, raised roughly equal amounts of money. LABOR FAVORED MURRAY While McGinn ran as the champion of lower-wage workers and secured endorsements from the hotel and grocery workers’ unions, Murray won 20 union endorsements, including SEIU 775NW, which represents some of the lowest paid workers, home health-care aides. In a statement, SEIU said that “we look forward to working with [Murray] as he implements a pro-worker agenda in Seattle,” and praised Murray’s legislative record. “As a senator, Ed stood with workers to fight proposed cuts to state employee health-
“four years of service to our city,” Clark added, “Senator Murray’s arrival signals that Seattle wants a new style of leadership.” “Our city continues to struggle with issues of public safety and transit, parks and urban planning, economic resiliency, and civil rights,” Clark added. “I’m looking forward to working with an executive who will help us manage these issues, and this municipality, through the months ahead and years to come.” City Council member Tom Rasmussen, also a Murray supporter, recalled McGinn’s tenure as “painful.” “McGinn wanted to debate everything, accomplished very little, and in the end blamed everyone,” Rasmussen told the Seattle Times on election night. In contrast to his opponent, who often seemed to make a virtue out of his headstrong approach to administration, Murray said he would take a more collaborative approach, but he denied that meant he would be a pushover. “Collaboration is not a code word for a fluffy approach to administering. It’s actually having those tough discussions very early on and trying to get people together on the issue very early on,” Murray said after the election.
Celebrating 40 Years!
northwest news
NORTHWEST ART ALLIANCE – “BEST OF THE NORTHWEST” FALL 2013 PART 2 25TH ANNUAL ART & FINE CRAFT SHOW On Friday & Saturday, November 8 & 9, from 10 a.m.-6 p.m., and Sunday, November 10, from 10 a.m.-5 p.m., the “Best of the Northwest” Fall 2013 (Part 2) 25th Annual Art & Fine Craft Show returns to Hangar 30 in Magnuson Park (7400 Sand Point Way NE) with 100 new artists. Find locally made art and fine craft to enrich your life while enjoying live music and good food. Tickets: $5 online, $6 at the door, $8 online special admits two. Accompanied children 12 and under are free. Free parking.
GAY CITY ARTS – “EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING” On Friday and Saturday, November 8 and 9, at 8 p.m., and Sunday, November 10, at 2 p.m., Gay City Arts, at Calamus Auditorium (517 E. Pike St.), presents “Everything, Everything, Everything,” a multidisciplinary comedy about the time a Lesbian woman and a straight guy fell in love with the same incredible heartbreaker. Written and performed by Wesley K. Andrews and ilvs strauss. This innovative multi-media project combines spoken word, music, and visual art in the form of a Kodak slideshow to create an immersive audience experience like none other. Fans of NPR, thoughtful stand-up comedy, bookstore readings, and indie music will feel right at home. Tickets: $18-general admission; $12 students/seniors (ID required). www.gaycity.org RAINBOW HEALTH EXPRESS – WOMEN’S HEALTH SCREENING On Saturday, November 9, from 9-3 p.m., at The Wildrose (1021 E. Pike St.), the YWCA Rainbow Health Express hosts a no-cost day-long health screening event featuring breast exams, pap tests and mammograms for income eligible, uninsured or underinsured. (People with insurance are welcome.) To schedule an appointment, call 206-461-4493. Insurance enrollment available. SEATTLE CENTER FESTAL – HMONG NEW YEAR CELEBRATION On Saturday, November 9, from 11 a.m.-6 p.m., at the Seattle Center Armory, explore and experience the cultural roots and contemporary influences of the Hmong people from the hilltops of China, Laos, and Thailand, through live performances, visual arts, hands-on activities, games, and a lively marketplace. Gain insights into the customary courtship ritual of ball tossing and participate in flower cloth sessions. The Hmong New Year Celebration helps to preserve the unique traditions and creativity of this Southeast Asian highland culture that originates in the mountains of China. The Lunar New Year is a time for the Hmong people to reflect on the past year and seek out new beginnings. FREE. www. hmongassociationofwa.org. BAINBRIDGE ORGANIC DISTILLERS – VODKA & OYSTERS AT THE DISTILLERY On Saturday, November 9, from 1-5 p.m., join Bainbridge Organic Distillers (9727 Coppertop Loop, Suite 101, Bainbridge Island) for their first annual Vodka & Oysters at the Distillery event featuring bodacious Bainbridge bivalves and 6 new vodka flavors benefitting the Puget Sound Restoration Fund. 206-842-3184.
On Saturday, November 9, from 1-4:30 p.m., at Plymouth Church UCC, Hildebrand Hall (1217 6th Ave.), Dr. John Geyman, professor emeritus of family medicine at the University of Washington and author of “Health Care Wars: How Market Ideology and Corporate Power Are Killing Americans” (2012) will give the keynote address: “Single-Payer in Washington State: Challenges and Approaches” at the annual meeting of Health Care for All Washington. The meeting is FREE and open to the public. Refreshments will be provided. www.healthcareforallwa.org. IMPERIAL COURT OF SEATTLE – “LIFE IS A CARNIVAL” – THE 50TH MR. & MISS GAY SEATTLE PAGEANT On Saturday, November 9, doors at 6 p.m., pageant at 7 p.m., at Neighbours Nightclub (1509 Broadway, entrance in alley between Broadway and Harvard Ave. off E. Pike St.), join the Imperial Sovereign Court of Seattle & the Olympic and Rainier Empire for “Life is a Carnival,” the 50th Mr. & Miss Gay Seattle Pageant. $20 suggested donation. www.imperialcourtofseattle.com; www.facebook.com/ISCSORE SEATTLE MEN IN LEATHER – BOOTS ‘N BUZZCUTS On Saturday, November 9, from 8 p.m.midnight, at The Cuff Complex (1533 13th Ave.), join Seattle Men in Leather for “Boots ‘n Buzzcuts” night. Get your boots shined and your hair buzzed. $10 suggested donation. Proceeds benefit Lifelong AIDS Alliance and Chicken Soup Brigade. www. seattlemeninleather.org.
ADVENTURE TV – 2013 PRIDE PARADE & PRIDE FEST FOOTAGE The 2013 Pride Parade and Pride Fest footage shot by T.J. Williamson, Producer and Host for Adventure TV, will begin airing/streaming on Saturday, November 2, at 10 p.m., repeating the following Tuesday, November 5, at 11 a.m. and Wednesday, November 6, at 1 a.m. Parts 2, 3 and 4 follow on Saturdays, November 9, 16 and 23, at 10 p.m. (repeating Tuesdays, November 12, 19 and 26 at 11 a.m. and Wednesdays, November 13, 20 and 27 at 1 a.m.). The episodes will air on Comcast Cable channel 77 (Wave 23) and simultaneously stream at http://seattlecommunityunitymedia.org. Also, the 2011 and 2012 Pride Parade and Pride Fest footage is archived at http://seattlecommunitymedia.org/node/12374/ list-shows. If you have any questions, email adventuretv@yahoo.com. SEATTLE TENNIS ALLIANCE – SUNDAY SOCIAL DOUBLES On Sunday, November 10, at 10:30 a.m., at The Tennis Center at Sand Point (7135 Sports Field Drive NE), the (LGBT) Seattle Tennis Alliance sponsors Sunday Social Doubles. This week they have 3 courts reserved at 10:45 a.m. Cost: $12 members, $14 non-members. Advance registration recommended at www.seattletennisalliance. org.
MUSIC OF REMEMBRANCE – FALL CONCERT: “UNTIL WHEN?” On Sunday, November 10, at 7 p.m. (with Pre-Concert “Meet the Artists” Talk at 6:15 p.m.), at Illsley Ball Nordstrom Recital Hall (3rd Ave. & Union St.), Music of Remembrance adds a rich new dimension to Israeli composer Betty Olivero’s suite Zeks Yiddishe Lider un Tantz with the world premiere of an original dance score by Cornish College choreographer Pat Hon. The concert also features works by two other Israeli composers – March Lavry and Eugene HEALTH CARE FOR ALL Levitas. Levitas’ song cycle Until When? WASHINGTON – sets Hungarian Holocaust survivor YaaANNUAL MEETING TO DISCUSS OBAMACARE AND SINGLE-PAYER kov Barzilai’s intense poetry to powerful UNIVERSAL HEALTH INSURANCE music, sung in the original Hebrew with a dramatic reading in English by Kurt Beattie, Artistic Director of ACT Theatre. Lavry’s Suite Concertante exemplifies the distinctive Israeli style that the composer helped
Visit us online www.sgn.org
compiled by Rick McKinnon SGN Staff Writer
establish after escaping to Palestine from Nazi-controlled Europe. In addition, Ernest Block’s soulful Nigun, and a jazz-inflected sonata for violin and piano by the audacious Erwin Schulhoff will be performed. Tickets: $40. 206-365-7770; www.musicofremembrance.org COMMUNITY APPRECIATION EVENT FOR GEORGE BAKAN On Monday, November 11, from 5:307:30 p.m., at Neighbours Nightclub (1509 Broadway, entrance in alley between Broadway and Harvard off E. Pike St.), join Seattle City Councilmember Tom Rasmussen and former Seattle City Councilmember Sherry Harris for an evening of appreciation honoring George Bakan for his lifetime achievements of community service and leadership. This is a 21+ event. If possible, please RSVP to shaunatsgn@yahoo.com so event organizers can get an idea of how many guests to expect. If you are unable to attend, please share your notes of appreciation with George on his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/george.bakan POZ SEATTLE – ANNUAL THANKSGIVING SOCIAL On Wednesday, November 13, from 6-8 p.m., at The Cuff Complex (13th Ave. & E. Pine St.), join POZ Seattle in the downstairs bar for a traditional Thanksgiving meal with turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy, veggies, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie and all the fixins – all prepared by your POZSeattle volunteers and Board members. Please join us for socializing, to catch-up with old friends, to make new ones, and a whole lot of fun. This event is offered at no cost (no one turned away for lack of funds), but to help with overhead costs, a $3-$5 sliding scale donaton would be appreciated. Beverages are at cost from The Cuff’s hot bartenders. This event is for all HIV-Positive men and their friends, regardless of age, shape, size or color. POZSeattle is a social organization run for and by Seattle-area HIV-positive guys that is committed to planning and promoting fun, social activities. www.pozseattle. org.
The festivities continue on Friday, November 15, when doors open at 5:30 p.m. for CoCA’s Gala Dinner and infamous silent and live auctions with auctioneer Matt Smith, beverages from 3 Howls Distillery and Elysian Brewing, a sumptuous seated dinner hosted by Apulent Events & Catering, and enthralling entertainment throughout. Tickets: $75-$1,000 on sale at www. cocaseattle.org THE BUSH SCHOOL – SCREENING & DISCUSSION OF “DADDY & PAPA” On Thursday, November 14, at 6 p.m., at The Bush School (3400 E. Harrison St.), join The Bush School Sexuality and Gender Alliance for a screening and discussion of “Daddy & Papa” (2002), an award-winning film about the personal, cultural, and political impact of Gay men raising kids. The film premiered at Sundance, won more than 15 major festival awards, aired nationally on PBS’ Independent Lens, and received a national Emmy nomination for Best Documentary. Film director Johnny Symons is an alumnus of The Bush School. RSVP to Svetland.Beggs@bush.edu or call 206-3267777. Seating is limited.
PUDDLETOWN SQUARES – FREE “TASTE” OF GAY SQUARE DANCING On Thursday, November 21, from 7-9 p.m., at St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church (N. 80th St. & 1st Ave. NE on Metro’s #16 bus line) Puddletown Squares, Seattle’s 31 year old, high energy, modern square dance club for the LGBT community and their friends, is hosting “NO TURKEYS HERE!,” a FREE public introductory event held the week before Thanksgiving to demonstrate Puddletown’s “Square Dancing! Outside the Box!”. Nationally known and Seattlebased caller Gary Monday will preside at this introductory event which will include square dancing to contemporary pop music, including Lady Gaga, Gotye, Salsa, Swing or Sinatra. Dress is casual, singles and couples are welcome, with gender-neutral partnering and absolutely NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. Come with a group of friends and put a little “jog in your egg nog” before holiday schedules get grazy. Bring along some canned or non-perishable food SEATTLE GAY & LESBIAN for Lifelong AIDS Alliance to help kick BOOK CLUB – off the season of charitable giving. PudROUGH MUSIC dltown’s next series of lessons for beginThe Seattle Gay & Lesbian Book Club ners will begin Thursday evenings, starting meets every Wednesday from 6-7:15 p.m., January 9. For more information visit www. at Seattle Area Support Groups Community puddletownsquares.org or visit Puddletown Center (303 17th Ave. E. at E. Thomas St.). Squares on FaceBook. In November, the club will discuss The Two Hotel Francforts, a new novel by Da10TH ANNUAL vid Leavitt. In 250 pages, it presents a per“STRONGER TOGETHER” fect story, perfectly told. A moral riddle of WORLD AIDS DAY BREAKFAST misunderstanding, it’s a minefield of clevOn Wednesday, December 4, from 7:30 erly concealed set-ups and startling sur- a.m.-9 a.m., at the Washington State Conprises, told by a likeable guy about the week vention & Trade Center (8th Ave. & Pike that changed his life. It’s about the way we St.), join Gay City Health Project, Inspire come to the wrong conclusions about other Youth Project, Lifelong AIDS Alliance, people. Rosehedge/Multifaith, and Seattle CounselAll GLBTQ folks are welcome to par- ing Service for the 10th annual “Stronger ticipate in this FREE book club. For more Together” World AIDS Day Breakfast. Help information, visit http://faculty.washington. support their work to provide crucial HIV edu/swittet/SGLBookClub/. prevention, education, support, and care in the Seattle area. Featuring keynote speaker, CENTER ON Dr. Joanne Stekler, Associate Professor, AlCONTEMPORARY ART – lergy & Infectious Diseases, University of ART MARATHON & AUCTION Washington. Hosted by Peggy Platt. For On Thursday, November 14, from 9 more information, visit www.strongertoa.m.-Friday, November 15, at 9 a.m., join getherseattle.com. the Seattle arts community at the beautiful Shilshole Bay Beach Club (6413 Seaview WINTER PRIDE – Ave. NW) for CoCA’s 21st annual 24GAY SKI/SNOWBOARD WEEK Hour Art Marathon & Auction celebration WHISTLER, BC and fundraiser, with 24 hours of controlled JAN. 26 – FEB. 2, 2014 chaos as 21 emerging and established artists One of the largest and most popular Gay paint, draw, wax, construct, collage, spray, Ski/Snowboard weeks in the world. Plus top write and sculpt their way to creating nearly flight guest DJs. 100 new works of art. Everyone is welcome From $115 per person per night – book by to come watch the artists in action. November 15. 866-787-1966; www.gayFrom 7-9 p.m., join the ongoing cacoph- whistler.com. ony at the Artists Appreciation Party. Meet the artists, get a peek at the work in progress and enjoy light refreshments. Admission and parking are free.
November 8, 2013
Seattle Gay News
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national news
Senator Patty Murray’s statement on ENDA
file photo
Senator Patty Murray
An original co-sponsor of ENDA when it was first introduced in 1994, U.S. Sen. Patty Murray of Washington has fought for its passage ever since. Here is a slightly abbreviated transcript of her remarks on the Sen-
ate floor on Wednesday, November 6. “Madam President, there’s no shortage of reasons why I’m proud to represent my home state of Washington. … Our state is an economic leader. We’re home to the Ameri-
can aerospace industry, a thriving agriculture sector, and dozens of companies creating new products and new jobs with cutting edge-technology. We’re a leader in protecting the environment and educating our children. … And Washington state is the place that tens of thousands of service members and veterans call home. “But I’m here today because I’d like to talk about another way Washington state has set an example for the entire country … and that is our state’s proud history of protecting the rights of all our citizens – including members of the LGBT community.
nities. … Well, I’d invite them to come to Seattle and ask businesses there whether it’s been problematic to respect their employees’ rights. I’d invite them to visit Amazon, Starbucks, Nordstrom, or Microsoft … just a few of our state’s successful businesses [that] have taken the lead in protecting the rights of their LGBT employees. Because we know in Washington state that it’s just wrong to discriminate against people. We know that a person’s race, religion, and gender has nothing to do with their ability in the workplace, and we know that sexual orientation and gender identity don’t, either.
A NATIONAL LEADER “In 2006, Washington state passed one of our country’s strongest anti-discrimination laws – one that serves as a model for the federal legislation we’re considering today. In 2007 and 2008, we passed additional legislation to further protect the rights of same-sex couples. And one year ago today, our state voted proudly to uphold landmark marriage equality legislation. And what we have to show for it is really two things: First, we have a thriving LGBT community made up of individuals and families who can feel safe, respected, and valued like anyone else. And second, we have a growing economy that’s anchored by businesses [that] respect their employees and judge them by the only thing that matters – their hard work and ability. “So, I rise today to simply ask my colleagues who don’t yet support this legislation to take a look at my home state of Washington … because in places like Seattle and Spokane, we’re proving every day that protecting the rights of our LGBT friends and neighbors isn’t just the right thing to do. It works – and it makes our country stronger. “Some of my colleagues have said that extending employment protections for our LGBT friends and family members is too hard. … Some of them have said it will create problems for businesses and commu-
MOST LACK PROTECTION “Most all of our constituents – four out of five Americans – falsely believe LGBT Americans already have the protections included in this bill, and most people believe that because denying Americans their rights just doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense that some men and women can be fired from their job just because of who they are or who they love. We know that’s not fair in Washington, but people in every state, from Virginia and Mississippi to Arizona and Idaho, know the same. “Many of my colleagues have cited these statistics but they are worth repeating: Twothirds of all Americans, including a majority of Republicans, believe in protecting LGBT citizens from employment discrimination. But despite that, more than half of our country lives in states where their rights aren’t protected. Now, I’m proud that my state does protect those rights, but we cannot stop working until the same is true in all 50 states. “So, for any of my colleagues who still aren’t convinced that LGBT Americans deserve the same rights as all of us, my invitation to visit Washington state still stands. Because it’s not enough that my constituents are free from discrimination – their constituents deserve the same.”
Baldwin urges Boehner Obama hails to allow ENDA vote ENDA passage file photo
file photo
sentatives – where she served from 1999 to 2013 – regarding the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Speaking with MSNBC on November 7, just moments before casting her final vote in favor of ENDA, Baldwin delivered a straightforward plea to House Speaker John Boehner, who has said he believes ENDA would lead to “frivolous litigation” and hurt small businesses. Boehner also incorrectly claimed that it was already illegal to fire people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. “On the procedural side, I’d say what we said during the shutdown: Just bring it up for a vote,” Baldwin demanded. “Because I feel that the House, if given the opportunity to vote up or down against discrimination in employment against the LGBT community, that we’d win that vote. We’d win that day. And so that’s what I’d say to Speaker Boehner: Just give it an up-or-down vote.”
Senator Tammy Baldwin
by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor Wisconsin Sen. Tammy Baldwin, the first openly Gay person to be elected to the U.S. Senate, has offered a direct message to the man in charge of the House of Repre-
President Barack Obama
Here is the text of President Barack Obama’s statement on the November 7 passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) by the U.S. Senate. “For more than two centuries, the story of our nation has been the story of more citizens realizing the rights and freedoms that are our birthright as Americans. Today, a bipartisan majority in the Senate took another important step in this journey by passing the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would help end the injustice of our fellow Americans being denied a job or fired just because they are Lesbian, Gay,
Bisexual, or Transgender. Just as no one in the United States can lose their job simply because of their race, gender, religion, or a disability, no one should ever lose their job simply because of who they are or who they love. “Today’s victory is a tribute to all those who fought for this progress ever since a similar bill was introduced after the Stonewall riots more than three decades ago. In particular, I thank Majority Leader Reid, Chairman Harkin, [and] Senators Merkley and Collins for their leadership, and Senator Kirk for speaking so eloquently in support of this legislation. Now it’s up to the House of Representatives. This bill has the overwhelming support of the American people, including a majority of Republican voters, as well as many corporations, small businesses, and faith communities. They recognize that our country will be more just and more prosperous when we harness the Godgiven talents of every individual. “One party in one house of Congress should not stand in the way of millions of Americans who want to go to work each day and simply be judged by the job they do. Now is the time to end this kind of discrimination in the workplace, not enable it. I urge the House Republican leadership to bring this bill to the floor for a vote and send it to my desk so I can sign it into law. On that day, our nation will take another historic step toward fulfilling the founding ideals that define us as Americans.
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enda
continued from cover “For 19 years, we have been working toward this historic moment, and with today’s vote in the Senate, we’re one step closer to making ENDA the law of the land. This crucial bill would ensure that all Americans have the same opportunities to work hard and succeed, regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation,” said Senator Patty Murray. EQUAL PROTECTION FOR ALL “In many states, including my home state of Washington, we already have strong laws to protect the rights of our LGBT friends, neighbors, and family members, but we can’t stop working until Americans in all 50 states are free from discrimination in the workplace. State lines shouldn’t determine whether someone can be fired from their job simply because of who they are, so it’s now up to Speaker Boehner and House Republicans to do the right thing and bring this landmark civil rights legislation up for a vote.” Murray was an original co-sponsor of ENDA when it was first introduced in the Senate in 1994. Washington’s other senator, Maria Cantwell, co-sponsored similar legislation that year as a House member, and signed on to the Senate version when she was elected to that chamber. “This is a historic day on the long road towards equality in the workplace,” Cantwell said. “For the first time, the United States Senate has passed the Employment NonDiscrimination Act to protect all employees from discrimination based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. I have been proud to co-sponsor this bill since 1994. Washington state is a national leader in nondiscrimination policies. It’s time for the rest of the country to catch up. “Today, we are one step closer to ensuring that all Americans are judged on the job that they do, not their sexual orientation. I urge the U.S. House to move forward and pass this bill.” TED KENNEDY’S LEGACY The late Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA) first introduced ENDA in the Senate. Before he died of brain cancer in 2009, Kennedy personally asked Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-OR) to take over as prime sponsor of the measure. “Today’s vote was a historic vote for equality and freedom,” Merkley said in a statement after the vote. “Deeply embedded in the Constitution are notions of freedom and liberty, and discrimination is the antithesis of those founding values. Everyone should have the right to work hard and earn a living. No one should be fired for who they are or who they love. The Senate said today in a strong bipartisan voice that dis-
crimination is just plain wrong. We are one step closer to equality for our LGBT friends and family.” ENDA also enjoyed the full support of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a cosponsor of the bill since 1997. “The time has come for Congress to pass a federal law that ensures all citizens, regardless of where they live, can go to work not afraid of who they are,” Reid (D-NV) said during the floor debate, adding that many Americans are under the impression that ENDA is already federal law. “Well it isn’t already the law,” Reid added, “but that is what they feel. Let’s do what the American people think already exists.” As promised, Reid brought ENDA to the floor on November 4. At that time the Senate voted 61-32 to allow debate on the measure. REPUBLICAN ROUNDUP The November 4 vote was not without last-minute drama. Reid had lined up all 55 Democratic senators to vote to advance the bill, and thought he could count on the support of five Republicans to reach the magic number of 60 votes necessary to bring the measure to the floor under Senate rules. However, as time for the vote approached, two senators – Missouri Democrat Claire McCaskill and Republican Barbara Mikulski of Alaska – were stuck on airplanes and unable to make it to the capitol. Republican supporters of the measure frantically lobbied their colleagues to line up additional votes. In the end, McCaskill and Mikulski missed the vote, but Republicans Kelly Ayotte, Susan Collins, Orrin Hatch, Dean Heller, Mark Kirk, Rob Portman, and Pat Toomey voted with Democrats and ENDA was put on the Senate’s agenda. “I realize that for some, this is not an easy vote,” the Senate’s only openly Lesbian member, Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), said on November 4. “I understand that for some, they may believe that it’s not good politics. But I want to say that I have a deep respect for those who choose to stand on the side of progress for our country this week. So for those that stand up this week and answer the call for courage, I can say with confidence your courage will be respected and remembered when the history of this struggle is written.” On November 6, by unanimous voice vote, the Senate accepted an amendment by Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH) extending the bill’s religious exemption. Merkley accepted Portman’s proposal after HRC, ACLU, and Freedom to Work issued a statement saying the amendment was “unnecessary” but declining to oppose it. The amendment would prohibit federal, state, and local governments from retaliating against religious groups that are exempt from the law. Another amendment, proposed by Sen. Pat Toomey (R-PA), allowing the religious
exemption to cover institutions engaged in secular activities, was opposed by LGBT groups and was voted down by the Senate. A “poison pill” amendment floated by Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Tea Party darling Rand Paul (R-KY) to add so-called “right-to-work” legislation to ENDA never came to the floor. IT’S BOEHNER’S MOVE ENDA now goes to the House, where Speaker John Boehner has already said he opposes it and will not bring it to the floor for debate. Sen. Murray announced that she would hold a press conference in Seattle on November 8 to call on Boehner to allow debate on the measure. Majority Leader Reid said on November 6 that Republicans would probably be forced to change their minds and allow ENDA to come up for a vote. He predicted
illinois
continued from cover sponsors agreed to delay the date the law takes effect in order to secure a 60-vote threshold to pass it. Had they insisted that the law take effect in 30 days, the threshold would have been an unreachable 72 votes. As it was, the Illinois House of Representatives passed the measure with only one vote to spare, 61-54. The Senate, which passed the original version of the bill on Valentine’s Day this year, concurred with the House version the same day, by a 32-to21 margin. BACK FROM THE DEAD House sponsors of the marriage bill did not bring it to the floor during the regular legislative session, which ended May 31, because they lacked enough votes to pass it. The Illinois legislature is now in what is called a “veto session.” While the veto session was intended to allow lawmakers a chance to override a governor’s vetoes, other unfinished business – like the marriage bill – may also be taken up. When the first day of the veto session was canceled on October 25 without a word said about the marriage measure, activists feared that the bill would be dropped, and picketed the office of prime sponsor Rep. Greg Harris. But news that the bill had passed led them to organize a victory rally in Chicago’s Gay neighborhood. “Just two weeks ago this bill was widely seen as dead in the water for this fall veto session,” said Gay Liberation Network cofounder Andy Thayer, one of the organizers of the rally. “What changed? It was the people that forced this bill onto the agenda for this fall veto session, not the politicians and insiders. It was the explicit threat of political retribution to those in Springfield who stood
the bill would pass in the House as well. “I think the House is going to have to capitulate,” Reid said, “if they have any hope of having a president that can be a viable candidate or they think they can elect some Republicans and they want to hang onto the House.” In a statement immediately following the November 7 vote, President Obama also called on the House to take up the bill. “One party in one house of Congress should not stand in the way of millions of Americans who want to go to work each day and simply be judged by the job they do,” he said. “Now is the time to end this kind of discrimination in the workplace, not enable it. I urge the House Republican leadership to bring this bill to the floor for a vote and send it to my desk so I can sign it into law.” SMITH CALLS FOR VOTE Seattle-area U.S. Rep. Adam Smith (D-9) also issued a statement calling on Republican leaders to bring ENDA to a vote in the House. “I am very happy to see the Senate pass ENDA,” Smith said. “Currently, it remains legal in 29 states to fire or refuse to hire based on sexual orientation, and 38 states based on gender identity. This is wrong. This legislation does not create special rights, as some claim. ENDA simply adds sexual orientation and gender identity to the current list of federal employment protections that already ban discrimination based on race, religion, gender, national origin, age, and disability. “The American public, several organizations, and many members of Congress have widely embraced and endorsed ENDA’s goal of nondiscrimination. It is now House leadership’s turn to allow a vote on an all-inclusive ENDA that provides equality for all LGBT people. As a co-sponsor of ENDA, I’ll continue to work with my colleagues and my constituents in Washington state to push for LGBT equality in the workplace.” in our way or only halfheartedly supported equal rights. Like with so many justice struggles before this, it was grassroots efforts that made this bill pass.” ‘LONG-FOUGHT VICTORY’ “With this rally we will not only savor this victory, but also send the message that the fight for LGBTQ rights does not end with marriage equality in Illinois,” said GLN spokesman Bob Schwartz. “This has been a long-fought victory. We have been working on this issue since long before it was popular in the LGBT community, let alone in the state at large.” Illinois will become the 15th state to legalize same-sex marriage – or the 16th, if Hawaii, whose legislature is also debating a marriage bill, enacts its law before next June. “I am thrilled to share that just moments ago, the Illinois House of Representatives passed the historic freedom to marry bill!” Equality Illinois CEO Bernard Cherkasov told reporters. “The bill passed with a bipartisan vote, with Chicago, suburban, and downstate, African-American, and Latino lawmakers all joining forces to do the right thing by Illinois families. Illinois now joins the inevitable march to marriage equality for all Gay and Lesbian couples throughout the U.S.” Lambda Legal, which had filed a lawsuit challenging Illinois’ ban on same-sex marriages, also hailed the bill’s passage. “Wedding bells will ring in the Land of Lincoln!” the group said in a statement. “Lambda Legal has been working hard to get to this day: From the day we filed our lawsuit in 2012, to all the legislative visits and testimony that our courageous clients provided for legislative hearings, to all the hours of drafting, preparation, and technical support that our expert attorneys provided to legislators – this victory for same-sex couples and their families is sweet!”
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Celebrating 40 Years!
Please join Seattle City Councilmember Tom Rasmussen and Former Seattle City Councilmember Sherry Harris for an evening of appreciation honoring
George Bakan
If you are unable to attend please share your notes of appreciation with George on his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/george.bakan Visit us online www.sgn.org
November 8, 2013
Photo by Jimmay Gonzalez / maGic WindoW Productions
for his lifetime achievements of community service and leadership. Monday, November 11, 2013, 5:30 to 7:30 PM Neighbours 1509 Broadway, Seattle (206) 324-5358
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Ed Murray Victory Par November 5, 2
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international news
Toronto Sun
Canadian judge throws out HIV immigration suit Authorities held not liable for letting Thai sex worker into country by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer A Canadian judge has dismissed the lawsuit brought by a man against the Canadian federal government and the province of Ontario for allowing his ex-wife to enter the country and subsequently marry him when she was HIV-positive. Percy Whiteman met his former wife, Suwalee “Ricky” Iamkhong, at the Zanzibar Tavern in Toronto, where she worked as a stripper. Iamkhong was an immigrant from Thailand, where she had also worked as a stripper and a prostitute. Iamkhong tested positive for HIV shortly before moving to Canada in 1995. Her previous husband had died of AIDS in Thailand, a fact she never disclosed to Whiteman. After their marriage, she and Whiteman had unprotected sex and he became infected with HIV as well. Whiteman and Iamkhong were married from 1997 to 2004, when she fell ill. She was admitted to a hospital in February 2004 and was diagnosed as HIV-positive. Finally she revealed her status to Whiteman, who discovered he, too, was HIV-positive. Iamkhong was convicted of criminal negligence for transmitting HIV to Whiteman, served two years in prison, and was deported from Canada in 2010. In his suit, Whiteman charged that Canadian government officials were negligent in failing to protect him from his ex-wife’s HIV infection. He asked for $33 million in compensation for becoming HIV-positive. Judge Carole Brown disagreed, however.
NO LITIGABLE ISSUES “It is extremely unfortunate, indeed tragic, that Mr. Percy Whiteman contracted HIV from his wife, Suwalee ‘Ricky’ Iamkhong, who he sponsored for permanent residency in Canada,” wrote Brown, but “there are no genuine issues requiring a trial” against the defendants. “I have concluded none of the defendants are responsible for Whiteman’s contraction of HIV. Mr. Whiteman was the author of his own misfortune,” Brown continued. Allen Cooper, owner of the Zanzibar Tavern and a co-defendant in the suit, said the “case was quite distressing because it seemed meritless and totally ridiculous from the beginning. “He married her and chose to have unprotected sex with her while he knew she was from Thailand and had been a prostitute. It wasn’t our fault.” “This would have set a terrible precedent for strip bars as they have to check their strippers for any diseases,” Cooper added. Canada does not categorically prohibit HIV-positive people from becoming permanent residents, but some HIV-positive applicants are rejected if they cannot pay for their own medications. The Canadian government says that agreeing to accept indigent HIV patients would place “excessive demand on health and social services.” Visitors who plan to stay in Canada for less than six months do not have to disclose their HIV status, but as of 2005 permanent residence applicants must submit to an HIV test.
Percy Whiteman
Gays can claim asylum, European Court of Justice says by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer In a November 7 ruling, the European Court of Justice ruled that LGBT refugees have grounds to seek asylum in European Union member states. The decision was a response to a request for clarification from the Dutch government in the case of three Gay men fleeing Sierra Leone, Uganda, and Senegal. The European Court of Justice is the highest judicial body in the EU, and all EU members are bound by its decisions. It is composed of one judge from each member state. The Dutch Council of State had asked the court to determine whether LGBT persons constitute a “particular social group” that could be a target of persecution, and whether the threat of imprisonment actually constitutes persecution as defined in EU law. LAWS ALONE NOT ENOUGH The court ruled that laws specifically targeting LGBT people do, in fact, make them a separate social group. However, it is up to national authorities – in this case, the Netherlands – to determine “whether, in the applicant’s country of origin, the term of im-
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prisonment ... is applied in practice.” If Gay people are actually punished in a particular country, refugees from that country are entitled to asylum, but the mere existence of a ban on same-sex relations is not grounds in itself for approving an asylum request, the court ruled. Under international law a “particular social group” with a well-founded fear of persecution can claim asylum if the persecution amounts to a severe violation of human rights. Same-sex relations are illegal in most African countries, including key Western allies such as Uganda, Nigeria, Kenya, and Botswana. A June report by Amnesty International said anti-Gay attacks had reached dangerous levels in sub-Saharan Africa. The European Court of Justice ruling comes at a time of rising anti-immigrant sentiment in many European countries. In the Netherlands, for example, the anti-immigrant Party for Freedom (PW) is now the country’s third-largest party. It was part of the ruling coalition until it quit the government in 2012. The PW now advocates withdrawing from the EU, as part of a strategy to avoid taking in more refugees from Africa and Asia.
Celebrating 40 Years!
msnbc
Gay news anchor reporting from Russia
Thomas Roberts goes where other journos fear to tread by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor MSNBC news anchor Thomas Roberts, who is openly Gay, arrived in Russia this
was fired for being Gay. His reason for taking the assignment? Exactly the same reason that Bravo TV’s Andy Cohen turned it down – because of the country’s anti-Gay laws.
“It’s really a taboo subject here in Russia to bring up the fact that these propaganda laws even exist [and] to discuss that there is a distinction between the classes.”
MSNBC news anchor Thomas Roberts
Let’s tell Russia: FCKH8! T-shirt firm plans massive defiance of country’s ‘Gay propaganda’ ban
by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor
week on a daring campaign to report on the country whose anti-Gay laws and attacks on LGBT citizens have made it an international pariah. The anchorman, who married his longtime partner Patrick Abner last year, brought his husband to the overseas assignment as well. Roberts is also hosting the Miss Universe pageant this weekend and will, in a separate broadcast, interview a Russian reporter who
The laws forbid spreading “propaganda about non-traditional sexual orientations among minors.” On MSNBC Wednesday, Roberts reported, “It’s really a taboo subject here in Russia to bring up the fact that these propaganda laws even exist [and] to discuss that there is a distinction between the classes and right now, because of the anti-propaganda laws, it does make the LGBT community a second class citizen.”
lar laws. In one recent incident, Anastasia Smirnova, general project manager of the Interregional Social Movement Russian LGBT Network, reported on Russian Queer newsgroups that two masked men with guns and baseball bats attacked a “rainbow social” at the offices of LaSky, an HIV organization for Gay men, according to Advocate. com. The police reportedly arrived at the LaSky office but immediately left, saying they saw no evidence of a crime. A Russian man blinded in one eye after an anti-Gay shooting has spoken out on his ordeal, Gay Star News reported. One of two gun-wielding masked men shot Dmitry Chizhevsky, 27, in the eye during a terror attack on a social event for young LGBTs in St. Petersburg on November 3. Posting on the social network VK, Chizhevsky wrote, “Thank you all for your support. Doctors said the bullet was left inside but can be removed with surgery.” With the Sochi Olympic Games coming up in February 2014, the Human Rights Campaign ( HRC ) has launched its “Love Conquers Hate” campaign to support the members of Russia’s LGBT community,
according to a press release. Participants in the campaign include Jonah Hill, Kristen Bell, Fergie, Kelly Osbourne, Kevin Bacon, Jamie Lee Curtis, America Ferrera, Ricky Martin, and Perez Hilton, among others. Participants will share photos of themselves wearing the Russian-language version of HRC’s “Love Conquers Hate” T-shirt on their social-media platforms with the hashtag #LoveConquersHate.
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The release stated that “activists are taking the action of breaking the law and directly mailing the books to children to confront the anti-Gay hysteria that is sweeping the country.” Russia recently passed a controversial law banning what it calls “Gay propaganda” from being presented to children.
The LGBT-equality T-shirt company FCKH8.com plans to send 10,000 pro-Gay children’s coloring books to Russian children, according to a press release. Copies of the Russian-language book Misha & His Moms Go to the Olympics will be mailed directly to homes with children in Sochi (the HATE CRIMES ESCALATING site of the upcoming Winter Olympics) and Violence toward Gays in Russia is on the Moscow during the games. rise, due to the passage of this and simi-
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How to help Gay kids be themselves
However, before you do that, you need some tools at your disposal to make them feel loved, accepted, and appreciated for the Rick Clemons, a 50-year-old Gay man beautiful gift they are to the world.” who says he was “once a confused, mixed up, hormones-raging male teen, shamefully SEVEN POWERFUL TOOLS hiding my truth,” has come up with a list of 1. Assure Gay kids they’re normal. Very seven rules for helping Gay kids be them- few Gay men and women ever stormed out selves. of the closet filled with self-confidence and “Not only was I dealing with unfortunate sporting their rainbow “Don’t Mess With physical manifestations of attraction at all Me” cape. Feeling like you’re a freak is northe wrong times (as most teen males do), mal teen junk stuffed in your backpack. Gay mine were coming to life due to my puppy kids simply load their bag with a few more love for half the guys in high school. I’d pounds of “not good enough” beliefs. rather eat my dissected frog in biology class 2. Watch your mouth, and tell others to than admit I wanted to kiss Darrell, Seth, do the same. Even the biggest supporters of Michael, and Cory,” he said in an article Gay kids learned to clean up their own dipublished by YourTango.com. arrhea of the mouth. A simple “That looks “If you suspect, or know, that your child is a little girly,” or an unintentional “Stop beGay, trust me – they’re feeling the same way ing such a crybaby” devastate Gay kids and I did. Feet glued to the ground, they’re im- cause them to clam up. Thinking before we mobilized by any truth to the possibility that speak in the presence of Gay kids, or kids there are other Gay kids like them. Feeling you think might be Gay, is a subtle nudge hopeless and helpless, they charge full-tilt that shows you are a safe confidant. toward the wicked idea that “I’m not good 3. Support without retort. As a parent, enough.” Left to its own accord, this think- I often find myself, with my own non-Gay ing will take up permanent residence in their kids, doling out support and advice in retort brains,” he said. “Thankfully, you – their to some flippant remark they make. Slow parent, teacher, brother, sister, grandpar- down and listen to the Gay kids in your life ent – can be a support system, guiding them without snapping back with advice. Like to the (very true) belief that Gay kids rock. other kids, Gay kids are extremely sensitive,
about.me
health and medicine
by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor
Rick Clemons
even if they seem tough and try to take care of themselves. It’s wonderful to be at the ready with advice – just be sure that’s truly what’s needed at the time. 4. Go back to school. One of the toughest places for Gay kids is school. Taunting, teasing, and bullying make headline news daily. Instead of reading the headlines, make the headlines. Reach out to organizations like the Gay Straight Alliance, PFLAG, Trevor Project, and get educated about Gay kids and the dangers they face. The more you know, the more they know you care. 5. Make no assumptions. Not unlike the Bubba at school who assumes Joel is Gay because he wears skinny jeans, a white Tshirt, and a chartreuse cardigan, you may have seen a feminine man or masculine woman and assumed you knew they were Gay. Instead of carrying a load of “Are they, or aren’t they?” on your shoulder, instead create a safe space where your actions and words show Gay kids that no assumptions are being made. Show them that one of the greatest gifts we can give each other is to not assume. When Gay kids are ready to share, they will, especially if they feel safe speaking to you. 6. Empathize, validate, and reassure. We all love to feel understood. For Gay kids, these desires are multiplied tenfold. Whether they come right out and tell you, “I’m Gay,” or they play denial dodgeball, your best approach is to empathize with them, validate their feelings, and reassure them they’re not the only Gay kids in their
school, social circle, church, city, state, etc. To empathize with Gay kids, don’t say you understand – because you don’t. Instead, become their ally and let them know you’ve experienced similar feelings of confusion in different ways in your own life. Meeting them on the empathetic playing field makes it easier to validate their feelings. You don’t have to be Gay or Lesbian yourself to share the moments when you finally understood that it was normal to feel what you were feeling. Finally, reassure them that you care, that you love them, and that you’ll do everything in your power help them in their struggle. 7. Don’t be someone you aren’t. One of the quickest ways to be unsupportive is to pretend to be someone you’re not. If you haven’t come to terms with your own beliefs about homosexuality, then be honest with the Gay kids in your life and let them know you’re still trying to sort out how you feel about homosexuality – not how you feel about them. Gay kids can be defensedriven. Even the slightest bit of patronizing will cause them to call “fake!” and not trust you. Honesty, when delivered from a place of compassion, signals to Gay kids that you’re an adult with integrity. Gay kids may not yet be capable of explaining who they are and why they feel the way they do. As adults, we need to proudly own the responsibility for guiding kids, Gay kids included, toward their authentic selves. In return, we become our authentic selves, making the world a better place for everyone.
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Miracle monkeys
Simian HIV study could ‘revolutionize’ quest for cure, scientists say by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer The findings of a new study published in the journal Nature could “revolutionize” the quest for an HIV cure, according to scientists working in the field. The study, which used rhesus macaque monkeys, would need to be replicated using human patients, but researchers said they were encouraged by the results. Two groups, from Harvard Medical School and the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), performed the tests and found that some kinds of simian antibodies were able to wipe out immunodeficiency viruses within a matter of days. Researchers infected the monkeys with what they call SHIV, which is a blend of HIV and SIV (simian immunodeficiency virus), the equivalent of HIV for monkeys. The immune system of both humans and monkeys produces precisely targeted antibodies to take out HIV or its simian counterpart, but the virus is able to mutate very rapidly and thus evade the immune assault. However, the research showed that some kinds of antibodies target the “conserved”
parts of HIV – those that the virus struggles to change because they are vital for it to function. Data from the Harvard group showed that injection of these antibodies drove SHIV from the monkey’s bloodstream until it reached undetectable levels after three to seven days. The effect lasted for one to three months, but in three monkeys the virus did not return to the blood during the entire 250day study. ‘UNPRECEDENTED’ “The effect with these potent antibodies is profound and unprecedented. It’s probably as large an antiviral therapeutic effect as has ever been seen,” Harvard Medical School professor Dan Barouch told the BBC. “But we have to make sure we don’t overhype, and the limitation is the study is in animals, not humans.” The antibodies were also able to attack the virus in some tissues. Antiretroviral drugs can assault the virus in the blood during normal HIV treatment, but the virus can hide in other parts of the body. A recently reported study suggests that it can hide in much larger quantities than previously thought (see SGN, Nov. 1).
The findings raise the prospect of using these newly recognized antibodies to clear dormant or hidden HIV as well. Similar results were produced by the NIAID research team. Commenting on the findings, UCSF School of Medicine professors Louis Picker
and Steven Deeks said, “The findings of these two papers could revolutionize efforts to cure HIV.” However, the professors warned that HIV is so prone to mutation that it is “likely that some people will harbor viruses that are resistant to one or more” of the antibodies.
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Kiki with D
Who’s your daddy? by D Smith SGN Contributing Writer Dear D, I am a woman in my mid-30s and have never been married. However, I would like to have this experience in my life. I have a beautiful daughter who I have raised by myself and I sometimes feel I have failed her by not giving her the childhood I had with both parents. I have tried to find a person to share our lives with for most of hers. That brings me to my current “Boo.” I have been in a relationship with him for eight years. He is a wonderful man who I love very much. However, we became engaged four years ago and he won’t set a date.
I took my ring off because I feel he doesn’t want to marry me. When I mention it, he just avoids the conversation or plans a surprise trip to keep me from ending it. He was in a bad marriage before, and I think he’s scared to try it with me. I think this is unfair and he should have faith and trust in me. Isn’t that what a relationship is all about? I don’t know what to do. Although he is good to my daughter, he is not a dad to her. They don’t have a relationship that I would consider to be a close one. Our relationship has suffered because of my closeness with my daughter. At times I think he’s jealous of her. I actually feel guilty about it. Like it or not, I am a mother first. As I read this back, I think: This is so obvi-
ous that it’s time to move on. But I feel stuck. Balance is the key in relationships like I guess my question is, when is enough, this one. enough? How do you move on when you And because I’m prioritizing your needs, thought you were going to spend your life I keep coming back to the opening of your with someone? – Heartbroken in Seattle letter: “I am in my mid-30s and have never been married. I would like to experience Dear Heartbroken, this in my life.” Daughter aside, you want Sounds like you have a great boyfriend a different relationship than the one you’re who isn’t doing much to be a great husband. in. I can’t promise that something better is He loves you. He takes you on trips and waiting if you leave – ending things with does wonderful things for you. After eight him is a risk, for sure – but you have to stay years he still wants you. But obviously you true to yourself. After eight years, your want more. wants haven’t changed. Get some final anI want you to make a decision about this swers from him so that you can make a real relationship based on your needs, not your decision. As for moving on, well, there’s daughter’s. I know that you’re a mom first no easy fix. You’ll need a new routine and – and that’s great – but you’re not shopping some time to mourn. That’s another letter for a new dad for your kid. You’re looking for another day. You have to ask yourself, for the right partner for you, someone who do you want a boo or a hubby, and is he up respects that you’re a parent and can give for the job? you the support you need to do the job. If Hope this helps. Remember be true to your partner bonds with your daughter, you, love yourself, encourage yourself and that’s just a bonus. others. – D
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November 8, 2013
Celebrating 40 Years!
Dear D, My stay-at-home wife recently became friends with a stay-at-home dad (connected by our respective children). Initially, it was a play date here and there, but since the summer started, the frequency of play dates has increased and my wife has become friends with him and texts him often (very often). After a few days of feeling uneasy, I sat down with her and told her I was uncomfortable with the level of communica-
make extremely hurtful comments. I am so afraid that this could potentially ruin our marriage. I have attempted to move forward but she will not join me and shows no sign of doing it anytime soon. I am lost. I know she would never do anything physically but I felt that their connection was emotional and I was scared and threatened. She did tell me I have nothing to worry about, but I cannot change the way I feel. I felt awful when they
Our relationship has suffered because of my closeness with my daughter. At times I think he’s jealous of her. tion. She expressed her care for me and we moved forward. The communication died down somewhat, but after a recent long day together, I let her know how I was feeling, that I was still upset. After a long argument, we both said some hurtful things and I strongly advised that the communication with him should cease. She now (of course) sees me as trying to control her. She is angrier at me than she has ever been and I am having an extremely hard time reconciling. She expressed the need for space but continues to
about how much they dislike the neighbors, or about traffic on the way to the playground, or about … well, the life they share as stay-at-home parents. We can’t be everything to our partners no matter how hard we try. With that being said, there are a few things to remember. Try this. The trick isn’t to say, “Honey, this makes me feel jealous and I want you to cut him off.” I mean, you can say that a little. But it might be more productive to say, “We all need friends, but … is there anything I can do to be a better friend to you? Are you enjoying the stay-at-home lifestyle? Do you feel isolated? Are there things that we can do to preserve our friendship while you make new companions?” It sounds like you guys have been fighting
too much about this man instead of being better friends to each other. My advice (and this is just a first step) is to ask her about her day-to-day and how the two of you can be more respectful in your marriage. It’ll take some work on both sides. And here’s a hint: Telling her that you’re scared is important. But remember, you want her to have friends – you just don’t want to lose her. Once she trusts your motives, you can set some boundaries together. She will not feel like you’re making demands and will see that you are just improving your marriage. It shows the two of you working together to strengthen your communicable bond. Hope this helps. Remember be true to you, love yourself, encourage yourself and others. – D
November 8, 2013
Seattle Gay News 21
were spending lots of time together, not just as a mom and dad – but as friends! – Not Comfortable Dad Dear Dad, I’m extremely uncomfortable on your behalf. Really! But let’s stop and think for a minute about why your wife might want to maintain a friendship with this guy. Sure, maybe she likes the male attention, but maybe it’s more about having someone around who understands what it’s like to feel isolated with kids. Maybe they bond
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22 Seattle Gay News
November 8, 2013
Celebrating 40 Years!
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Seattle Gay News 23