Seattle Gay News Issue 48, Volume 40, November 30, 2012
d
A really BIG wedding
Making history
Seattle’s Center for Spiritual Living hosts a massive marriage ceremony December 15
Seattle First Baptist Church, uniting Gay couples for 33 years, plans free December 9 ceremony
by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer
by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer
The Center for Spiritual Living, in Seattle’s Sand Point neighborhood, is hosting a “Big Gay Wedding” on Saturday, December 15. Couples who wish to participate are asked to RSVP to wedding@ SpiritualLiving.org by December 3. “We have 30 couples registered currently,” the Rev. Michael Ingersoll told SGN. “I’m optimistic we’ll have a large number, based on my experience in New York. I was serving there in my ministry in 2004 [when same-sex marriage became legal] and we married 1,200 people
in Central Park.” The Center can accommodate a very large wedding, Ingersoll says. Its sanctuary seats 500 people, and the adjoining Celebration Hall can hold 1,200. ‘WE’RE NOT RELIGIOUS’ Getting married at the Center for Spiritual Living may appeal to couples who aren’t particularly into worship but would like a church setting for their ceremony. “We are a ‘New Thought’ church,” Ingersoll explained. “We’re not religious. see CSL page 18
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Although Seattle First Baptist Church will host a free group marriage ceremony on December 9, the first day possible under the state’s newly approved Marriage Equality Act, Gay and Lesbian weddings are not new to the church. “We’ve been marrying same-sex couples since 1979,” the Rev. Craig Darling says proudly. Some of them will return to be legally married under the new state law, he adds. Darling will be one of five clergy who officiate at the ceremony for up to 50 cou-
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ples beginning at 2 p.m. on Sunday, December 9. Couples who wish to be married at the 100-year-old Gothic Revival church (1111 Harvard Ave.) need to do only two things, Darling tells SGN. “First, get your marriage license on December 6 [the first day they will be available], because the state requires a three-day waiting period, and then call us at (206) 325-6051, extension 111, to reserve a place.” GOING ALL-OUT Darling says his church will spare no see FIRST BAPTIST page 18
by James Whitely SGN Staff Writer
Seattle Gay News
COMMITMENT
Meet two longtime couples
who are now planning marriage
QUE AND VIVIAN Que Areste and Vivian Robb will soon have the same last name. They haven’t decided yet what it will be, but told SGN they’re “working on it.” The two met in the spring of 1979 and maintained a longterm friendship before they officially began dating in the mid-’90s. For the duration of their friendship, Robb was married to a man, Jim. Areste would visit Robb and her husband in San Francisco quite often over the years, traveling either for work or just to see the two of them. The three were all pretty close. Jim, however, became seriously ill. “Find someone like Que,” said Jim to Vivian, knowing he might die soon. After Jim passed away, Areste and Robb maintained a long-distance relationship for nine years, becoming domestic partners in San Francisco on November 3, 2003. The couple bought a condo together in Seattle’s Madison Valley neighborhood in 2004. Illness and surgeries unfortunately became something the two would face again in their relationship. Areste has had three major surgeries since Robb moved to Seattle, but through all three of them the two have fought together. Areste and Robb have also faced financial hard times hand in hand. Areste, a doctor who runs her own practice, had to essentially restart her business from scratch after her surgeries, and Robb began working as her receptionist to ease the transition. Every time the two are in an elevator, they share a kiss – an intimate tradition that dates back to their long-distance relationship. “We couldn’t wait and started kissing in the elevator,” Areste told SGN. “We’ve been doing it ever since.”
John Breitweiser (r) and Stuart Wilber a few days after they met
“Five to six years ago, it had never occurred to either one of us that getting married would be a possibility in our lifetime.”
COURTESY QUE ARESTE
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PROFILES IN
STUART WILBER
STUART AND JOHN Stuart Wilber and John Breitweiser met in Chicago 35 years ago. Wilber, who works for Sub Pop Records and Breitweiser, an artist, had a strong intrinsic connection from the start. “I don’t know if it was love at first sight,” Wilber told SGN. “But it was pretty close.” Wilber said that after they met, they spent one night apart from each other, and, realizing their connection, have spent pretty much every night together since. After Chicago, the couple relocated to Southern California. Living only a few miles from tolerant Laguna Beach, they expected a warm reception – but for the most part they got the cold shoulder from Orange County’s largely conservative population. “We were an out Gay couple in Chicago, and we weren’t going back into the closet just because we were in Orange County, so we became very political,” said Wilber. “John’s work became very political.” Politics and activism have been a major part of their lives ever since. Wilber started volunteering for GLAAD in the late ’80s and the couple attended the 1993 March on Washington. After the two moved to Seattle, Wilber became involved with Seattle OUTprotest and helped promote the 2009 National Equality March while working to get Referendum 71 (the ballot measure that legalized domestic partnerships in 2009) approved. “Five to six years ago, it had never occurred to either one of us that getting married would be a possibility in our lifetime,” said Wilber. “We have seen a great many changes. When I first came out, it was dangerous to ask somebody out in a bar – you didn’t know if it was an undercover policeman. Now we’re getting to the point where we’re giving marriage. The transition is mind-boggling.” “The engagement has been 35 years and it’s been great. We’ve seen a lot of progress and we’ve been out for all of those 35 years, save a couple. I see being out and telling your story as the most successful form of activism there is,” Wilber told SGN. “It isn’t just about getting married. We went to Olympia and listened to the debate in the Senate. ... I realized they weren’t just talking about my getting married, they were talking about whether or not I was a real person.” Wilber told SGN that the people he saw who were for marriage equality all seemed to know someone who was Gay or Lesbian, but those speaking against it talked as if Gays and Lesbians “weren’t quite people.” “I do equate the struggle for full federal equality for LGBT people with the struggle for full federal equality for women and for AfroAmericans,” said Wilber. It just so happened that the two found themselves watching the film Amistad that night, and witnessed the same message. “They were talking about people [slaves] as if they weren’t people,” said Wilber. “And I realized that they were talking about John and I as if we were not real people, that we were not entitled to the same considerations as them and their children.” “We’re best friends,” Wilber told SGN. “We are very, very different people. If we
and family from both sides. “This is a wonderful, wonderful step in a wonderful state. I see this as an incentive to continue working on full federal equality,” said Wilber. “The commitment is there. A piece of paper is not going to change the way John and I feel about each other – it is a step on the road to full federal equality.”
Que Areste (l) and Vivian Robb
have issues, we talk about them and we do date was so significant that we felt we needsometimes have issues.” ed to do it on the first day. Planning a wedding that quickly is not easy, but the invitaA HAPPY COINCIDENCE tions are out and everything’s ready.” “Our 35th anniversary is December 8th, The two will marry at a neighbor’s house [and] the first day we’re allowed to get mar- in Seattle’s Madison Valley neighborhood. ried is December 9th,” said Wilber. “The It will be a simple ceremony with friends
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THE PROPOSAL “If 74 passes, would you consider marrying me?” Areste asked Robb a few months ago. “Are you proposing?” replied Robb. It wasn’t the actual proposal – that came later. Robb was reading in bed when Areste got down on one knee and presented her with one of the green Washington United for Marriage rings that the campaign used as a fundraiser. “We’ve been through sickness and health. We’ve been through richer and poorer. Will you marry me? This is a proposal,” said Areste. Robb smiled and said yes. “She’s been more affectionate since the marriage proposal,” said Areste. The two plan on marrying in May. They haven’t set a date, but know they want to get married outside, here in Seattle. Their rings are coming from Goldmine Design, an artisan jeweler based in downtown Seattle. Last week, they had a “casting party” with friends. The couple plans on having local pianist Victor Janusz do the music for the ceremony.
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A PUBLIC CELEBRATION Pete-e and Jane have been a couple for 35 years and have raised a daughter together. They have been stellar citizens, but until now it was illegal for them to be married. These two have been ambassadors for our community, putting a human face to same-sex couples that is hard to be mad at or argue with. I wanted to be at their wedding and share in celebrating their love, and now I can – and so can you. Seattle Men’s Chorus is giving a concert at Benaroya Hall on December 9, the first day same-sex couples can legally get married in Washington state. When Artistic Director Dennis Coleman saw that we had a concert on that important day in the history of LGBTQ rights, he said, “We have to do
OR Y
When I moved to the Seattle area a few years ago, I had no family here and had recently lost both my grandparents, who were more like parents to me. Soon after moving here, I met two of the most amazing women, Pete-e Peterson and Jane Lighty, who are warm, genuine, loving, and welcoming. Anyone would be lucky to have them as neighbors or to be able to call them friends. They are the kinds of citizens all of us should strive to be. They would be the first to welcome a new person, to help their neighbor, to share Petee’s homemade jam with you, or to invite you to dinner. They welcomed me and made me feel at home in Seattle for the first time. I was missing my grandparents, and these two filled a hole in my heart, as they do for many people. I have seen so many faces that just light up when they see these two loving women. They are inspiring to us all, and the way they treat people with kindness and love makes everyone who comes in contact with them feel warm inside and brings a smile. They are one of the reasons I fought so hard for marriage equality in our state.
Donald Jenny’s – one couple from the women’s chorus and one from the men’s. Neil and Donald, an awesome duo of nearly 24 years, are realizing their next chapter of life by being able to get legally married in the great state of Washington! This is Neil’s first wedding and Donald’s second, having been married for nine years to his high-school sweetheart. Donald also is the proud papa of five children, ten grandchildren, and one greatgrandchild. I asked Donald and Neil why it was important for them to get married right now, and they said, “Well, the most important reason, we are re-
DR EW EM
by Mac Scotty McGregor Special to the SGN
Seattle Men’s C horus celebrate sa ‘Com munity M arriage’ Decem ber 9
NE IL HOYT
AN D DO NA
LD JE NN
Y
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ther of us could be out. We moved to Seattle in 1986 and went to see a Seattle Men’s Chorus show, and a few years after that Pete-e began volunteering in the Men’s Chorus office. Little by little we realized we could come out here and be safe, which was in the ’90s. We were totally in the closet – now we are totally free and joyous. It’s been a long journey.” I asked them how they felt about marriage equality passing and being able to share their legal wedding with their chorus family. “It’s beyond our wildest dreams. We are so amazed it passed that the few days after we would wake up and ask each other did we dream this? Is it real?” “What do you want to do now,” Jane asked Pete-e. “Get married, but I’m not sure how we should do it,” Pete-e said. They cried telling me about it. “We are overjoyed,” they said.
HOW TO MAKE IT LAST If you would like some relationship advice from these two matriarchs in the LGBTQ community, here is what they say is important to make it work 35 years like they have: • Hopefully you will make a good choice to begin with and have magic together • Respect yourself and the other person • Humor is high on the list in our relationship • Be flexible • Realize that neither of you is always right • Give each other room to grow and change What does this mean to the community at large, you may ask? It means that ALL can now celebrate love and commitment. As Coleman put it, “I never thought I would see this day. It’s wonderful. I dare say there will not be many dry eyes in Benaroya Hall the night of December 9 as we share in two of our beloved couples’ love and commitment being openly acknowledged. It makes us feel that we all count. Tickets are still available for Sunday night, December 9, at 7:30 p.m. Details at www.flyinghouse.org.
A LIFETIME OF PROGRESS Asked what he thinks of all the changes he has seen in LGBTQ rights in his lifetime, Neil responded, “I grew up in Utah in the 1960s, so the only mention I ever heard of LGBTQ was men being arrested at freeway rest stops. The concepts of L, B, T, and Q didn’t even exist in my mind. To go from almost complete invisibility to being able to be legally married in the space of 50 years is a civil rights phenomenon.” When I asked Pete-e and Jane their thoughts nny d Donald Je about the change they have Neil Hoyt an ally seen in their lifetimes in LGBTQ rights, old and ain’t got time to waste! Jane said, “Unbelievable. Pete-e was in the And you got to start with the state and then Air Force in the Korean War. In some placthe federal government will follow!” es she was stationed there were witch-hunts to find Gay people. She was a flight nurse Mac Scotty McGregor is a member of when the police were raiding Gay bars. Nei- the Seattle LGBT Commission. CO UR TE SY
something in the concert.” And indeed, we will. There will be two weddings on stage that night: Pete-e and Jane’s, and Neil Hoyt and
ne Lighty
son and Ja
Pete-e Peter
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by Albert Rodriguez SGN A&E Writer
this exact thing. Imagine waltzing 10. “I Got You Babe” to these words at the reception: Sonny and Cher “Come away with me and we’ll During the hippie era, lovebirds Sonkiss/On a mountaintop/Come ny and Cher Bono dueted on this classic away with me/And I’ll never stop number that has stood the test of time. It’s loving you.” especially cool when he sings to her, “I got flowers in the spring/I got you to wear 8. “I Love You” my ring,” and later she responds with “So Climax Blues Band let them say your hair’s too long/’Cause I Another oldie but goodie from don’t care, with you I can’t go wrong.” the ’80s, this song is a usual suspect at weddings and honey11. “Lovesong” – The Cure moons. It’s written from a male From the alternative field, The Cure’s 1989 single seems fitting for the occasion. Spelled as one word, its chorus is hard to resist with the words “However far away/I will always love you/However long I stay/I will always love you/Whatever words I say/I will always love you/I will always love you”.
Your wedding should be exactly what you want it to be, right down to the song played as you’re walking down the aisle, or for the first dance at the reception. There are a million tunes out there to choose from – some with the right words, others with the right melody, and a few that just sound appropriate for the occasion. Here are 15 songs that I came up with to mark your special day. 1. “Wedding Song” Tracy Chapman From the singer-songwriter’s Telling Stories album comes this gorgeous piece written especially for the big day. All the words are incredibly deep, but even more so are the lyrics: “Can I get a witness/ There is salvation and rapture for the lonely/Can I get a witness/To bless this day, sacred and holy.”
12. “I Hope You Dance” Lee Ann Womack This country crossover smash by Lee Ann Womack, also performed by Oleta Adams, is more of an inspirational tune than a celebratory one, although that hasn’t stopped thousands of couples
6. “Endless Love” Diana Ross and Lionel Richie This mega-hit from the ’80s, revived in the ’90s by Luther Vandross and Mariah Carey, is a powerful ballad that perfectly accentuates the joining of two people. When Ross and Richie
Marital melodies
2. “The Pledge” Brendan Benson Indie artist Brendan Benson, also a member of rock outfit The Raconteurs, penned a fantastic song about commitment on his solo album The Alternative to Love. In it, he carefully phrases his devotion to his better half with the words “And I promise to always love you/And never put anybody else above you.”
3. “Here and Now” Luther Vandross The late, great Luther Vandross left us with this Grammy-winning ballad that cemented the moment of promise, when someone dedicates himself or herself fully to another person. The heartfelt chorus goes like this: “Here and now/I promise to love faithfully (faithfully)/You’re all I need/Here and now/I vow to be one with thee (you and me)/Your love is all I need (I need).”
perspective about overcoming personal demons with the help of a partner, but it’s really quite passionate with the lyrics “If ever a man had it all/It
land on the words “Two hearts/ Two hearts that beat as one/ Our lives have just begun,” it’s enough to make you cry with pure joy. 7. “Come Away With Me” Norah Jones Getting married involves taking a leap of faith, and Norah Jones’ pop-jazz title track from her debut album is a beautiful piece that sweetly proposes
4. “I’m Yours” – Jason Mraz I’m pretty sure Jason Mraz was thinking beyond himself when he wrote this warm and fuzz pop ditty a few years ago. A strong ally of the LGBT community, his lyrics usually have an all-inclusive ring to them, such as “Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing/We’re just one big family/And it’s our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved.” 5. “At Last” – Etta James The quintessential favorite for any landmark occasion, Etta James’ most recognized single is really about celebration and knowing that your life is forever changed. The lyrics “At last/My love has come along/My lonely days are over/And life is like a song” will never, ever get old.
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15 songs to tie the knot to from playing it on their wedding day. The best lyrics are in the first verse, when she sings, “May you never take one single breath for granted/God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed.” 13. “Best of My Love” The Emotions How ’bout a little disco at the ceremony? This dance number from female trio The Emotions has a real exuberant vibe and I see no reason not to play it after the altar kiss, as the words “Goin’ in and out of changes/The kind that come around each day/My life has a better meaning/Love has kissed me in a beautiful way” are blaring overhead.
14. “With You I’m Born Again” Billy Preston & Syreeta Personally, this is the most uplifting duet I’ve ever heard. I don’t know if Billy Preston and Syreeta were ever an actual item, but they make it sound as if they’re deeply in love when would have to be me/And ooh harmonizing on the words “I was half, I love you.” not whole/In step with none/Reaching through this world/In need of one.” 9. “Together Forever” Rick Astley 15. “Yellow” – Coldplay Laugh if you like, but Rick You could go with the obvious – 98 Astley’s dance-pop hit from Degrees’ “I Do (Cherish You)” is quite way back when has a very satisfactory – or you could march down sentimental core. It goes the aisle to something different, like something like this: “There Coldplay’s atmospheric number from the ain’t no mistaking/It’s true band’s early days. How can you not get love we’re making/Something goosebumps when Chris Martin sings, to last for all time/It’s never “Look at the stars/Look how they shine changing/Can’t you hear me, for you/And everything you do/Yeah, I’m saying/I want you for the they were all yellow …”? rest of my life.”
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Congratulations, newlyweds! Straight allies celebrate marriage equality in Washington
by Daniel Hanks SGN Contributing Writer
‘JUSTICE IS WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE IN PUBLIC’ Pastor Brandon Duran of Plymouth United Church of Christ in downtown Seattle is part of a group of faith-based straight allies who, because of their willingness to stand up and speak out in support of same-sex marriage, watched as
10 Seattle Gay News
Pastor Brandon Duran
marriage is about love. “Not just any kind of love, but tangible, real love.” Duran quoted 1 John 4:16, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” AN EVOLVING HEART Like the president and even Gov. Gregoire, Duran’s views on samesex marriage had to evolve. “Over the years I heard stories of pain and hurt from friends and family members, and they would talk about how they felt bias and prejudice directed at them. As I listened to friends and family, I began to be open to listening to strangers’ stories. And that is when a change occurred within Duran. “When you listen with a heart thatʼs open, change will inevitably happen.” “I’m going to feel much closer to freedom,” he said, adding, “When anyone gets closer to freedom we all get to celebrate.” Pastor Duran says you can expect to see him at the King County Admin building (500 4th Ave.) December 6-9, except, of course, on Sunday when he will be at work at the church. Duran said he is “ecstatic” about the upcoming nuptials between same-sex partners. “I’m convinced there are members of God everywhere, when same-sex couples can vow their love, it’s a win for equal rights, a celebration of love, and a glimpse of the divine.”
Dru Dinero
‘DON’T WAIT’ During her conversation with SGN, Humphrey spoke of her uncle who died just before Purr opened, seven years ago. “My uncle came out as Gay at 70 years old. He lived his whole life in the closet and finally decided to come out and live life for himself.” Although he would die of a heart attack a short time later, Humphrey alluded to the fact that at least at 70 he had finally found happiness. “Life is too short,” advises Humphrey. “Don’t wait until you’re 70 to live it.” Most of all, Humphrey says she is proud to live in a state that respects everyone, including her friends, family, neighbors, and employees.
INEQUALITY ‘I COULD NOT REMAIN SILENT’ ‘GETS UNDER MY SKIN’ After moving to Seattle from Las Vegas Barbie Humphrey, owner of Purr Cock- in mid-2011, Dru Dinero immersed himself tail Lounge (1518 11th Ave.) and dedicated in the city’s LGBTQ epicenter, Capitol Hill. straight ally and leader in the community, “I was a newcomer, a stranger to the Gay told SGN that when the first license is issued community,” he told SGN.
November 30, 2012
PRODUCED CAMPAIGN VIDEOS “During the campaign, I was involved in ways I never imagined. The work I did with the Social Outreach Seattle video production crew is particularly memorable. We produced 20 ads for the Approve R-74 commercial series, for free. I am proud of that body of work because it celebrates the community for who we are, not what the mainstream wants us to be. “In the video I starred in, I was able to bring visibility to a referendum that many people who aren’t Gay might not ever have known about. ‘I’m Coming Out’ went on to become the most popular video [viewed by more than 30,000 people]. I can’t tell you the number of people who have approached me, even after Election Day, to say, ‘Hey, you’re that guy in the Approve R-74 video.’ “In it, I run around town, presumably naked, with a sign that asks people to approve R-74. Not one Seattle monument is spared my bare ass. By adding some humor to an otherwise unfunny topic, viewers get to see me lick the famous red popsicle statue, kiss the Fremont Bridge Troll, and add my flavor of bubblegum to the infamous ‘gum wall’ at Post Alley in the Pike Place Market. “The real visual, however, is the metaphor of ‘coming out.’ I purposefully wanted the viewer to assume that I am a Gay male, coming out of the closet. At the end of the ad, the viewer finds out that I am not Gay and that I am ‘coming out,’ but as a straight ally. “The experience propelled me to where I am now, a 25-year-old program director at a social justice coalition. I developed Straight Allies For Equality, or SAFE, as in ‘It is now SAFE to come out in support of all communities.’ “On December 6, when the first marriage license is issued, I will feel a strong sense of justice and a warming in my heart. I plan to spend it with close friends, smiling, and celebrating. Once only motivated by hate and injustices, I am now ultimately motivated by love. “We are going to be all right, I think. We just need to remind ourselves, and those around us to “love the fear out of hate.” NATE GOWDY / SEATTLE GAY NEWS
A MORAL IMPERATIVE It was our burden to bear because for far too long we had put the weight of inequality on your shoulders. I know I wasn’t alone in thinking, “We have got to help right this wrong.” I know I was right because the proof was in the numbers. Straight allies played a huge role in this election by phone banking, donating money, registering people to vote, and doorbelling to spread the word that inequality would no longer be tolerated. Washington Governor-elect Jay Inslee has been a supporter of same-sex marriage from the very beginning. In fact, he supported a federal measure that sought to repeal the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. “Everyone has the right to marry whomever they choose,” Inslee said in a statement to SGN. “I think history will honor the people of Washington for voting to affirm marriage equality for all.” On December 9, three days after the first marriage licenses have been issued, same-sex couples will be able to hold marriage ceremonies in what the future governor describes as a “special day, not only for the couples getting married, but for the entire state.” Inslee recalled his own wedding, sharing with SGN his memories of marrying his wife, Trudi, 40 years ago. “We are overjoyed that so many people will get to share that feeling this month,” he said.
to a same-sex couple, “that sense of accomplishment will become tactile – the beauty of the ideology of equality will become visible.” Humphrey says she and some friends plan to celebrate, but not for the “newly accepted view of equality,” because she knows that they’ve “intrinsically and truthfully always been equal.” “We will celebrate the fact that we have shown the world a better way,” she said, triumphantly. Humphrey is well-known throughout Seattle’s LGBTQ Community, especially for the Gay sports teams she takes pride in sponsoring. She believes in equal rights “because it’s the right thing to do.” “The idea that everyone is not treated equal gets under my skin,” said Humphrey. She says that inequality has never really made sense to her because “at the end of the day we are all human, anyway.” PLYMOUTH UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST
You know, it’s strange but it already feels like so long ago, but in reality it was just three short weeks ago that I experienced the most powerful politically historic moment of my life. For the first time ever, marriage equality triumphed by popular vote, with Washingtonians approving Referendum 74. The world was watching and got to see good triumph over evil. For once, our real lives played out like the lives of those perfect people in perfectly scripted movies where nothing goes wrong and everyone gets what they were looking for in the end. Love won. Hate lost. I had a part in making that happen, and I am forever changed by it all. On December 6, at exactly 12:01 a.m., Washington will issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple for the first time in state history. You bet your ass I’ll be there! But I’m not going to be there for the reasons one might think. I’m not getting married. In fact, I don’t even have a significant other at the moment. I’m 25, a bachelor, and totally OK with that. I will be there, however, to support my friends and strangers alike, as a straight ally who wants to marvel at what we’ve managed to do. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
voters reaffirmed what they already knew: when one is oppressed no one is free. Duran says his motivation to support the issue was simple – love. “Justice is what love looks like in public,” Duran told SGN. The pastor, who spoke at the Social Outreach Seattle (SOSea) March for Marriage Approve R-74 rally, said he believes that
In short, Dinero admits this was a new group of people he didn’t know much about. As he began to, “laugh, eat, drink, travel with, and work alongside the Gays,” his perspective changed and he “grew as an individual.” Dinero says he began to work with Social Outreach Seattle to campaign for the approval of R-74 “to repay my friends for their acceptance and hospitality.” “This notion came over me not out of obligation, but out of knowing that this was the right thing to do, and the cause had fallen on my lap,” said Dinero. “I could not remain silent about my support. I fought for my friends, just as I know they would fight for me.” On Election Day, Dinero told SGN, he felt a “true sense of accomplishment.” “This wasn’t a victory over some particular group. What we accomplished in Washington State was to show the world that, as a collective, equality is something we can all agree on,” he said. “All it takes is education and love.” “I’m preparing myself, in the same way that some of you are, because December 6 and 9 are going to be emotional for a lot of us. While it may be true that the passage of the marriage equality bill and the referendum that followed it was a high point in my personal and political life, actually seeing same-sex couples line up to get married will be something else altogether.”
Celebrating 39 Years!
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Celebrate your nuptials in style at Q Capitol Hill nightclub to host ‘Big Gay Wedding Reception’ COURTESY Q CAPITOL HILL
by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor On Sunday, December 9, Q Nightclub (1426 Broadway) will team with Dan Savage and Terry Miller for a Big Gay Wedding Reception to celebrate the marriages of “Him & Him and Her & Her.” “Newly elected presidents have inaugurations,” said Kirsten Graham, a Q spokesperson. “To celebrate Washington State’s new marriage equality law, Q Nightclub is having a wedding reception.
his husband, Terry Miller, will co-host the party at Q alongside DJ Riz Rollins and special guests. On the docket for the evening: a tearjerker first dance, goofy cake-cutting photos, and champagne toasts galore.” The reception, which runs from 6 to 10 p.m., is open to all and free with a suggested donation, which will support Freedom to Marry’s efforts to pass marriage equality legislation in more states. According to Q Nightclub officials, “This event is a joyous follow-up to the October 10 R-74 fundraiser at Q, and the organizers COURTESY Q CAPITOL HILL
“Q will host a joyful celebration of the first legal same-sex marriages in Washington State,” she added. “Thanks to the hard work of those who advocated for the passage of R-74 and marriage equality, samesex couples will be able to begin filing for marriage licenses at 12:01 a.m. on December 6, and after a three-day waiting period can start tying the knot on Sunday, December 9.” THERE WILL BE CAKE “That day, Seattle City Hall becomes wedding central – with four ‘pop-up’ chapels in the lobby to serve all the patient couples,” continued Graham. “After the ceremonies, The Stranger’s Dan Savage and
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extend a special invitation to all those who contributed to the approval of the legislation this fall.” Q is a Seattle nightclub featuring electronic dance music in a dramatically renovated 12,000-square-foot former garage. Since opening in September, Q has made a positive impact on the nightclub scene with an array of talented resident and guest DJs, a state of the art Funktion One sound system, world-class lightning design, stunning interior, and friendly service staff. Q is open every night but Tuesday with live DJs, a bourbon bar, and not one but four disco balls. To learn more, call (206) 432-9306 or visit www.qcapitolhill.com.
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FIRST BAPTIST continued from cover
effort to make the day memorable for couples who will be married there. “It won’t be just a quick ceremony. We’ll have all the trappings available,” he tells SGN. “Of course, some people want a more private ceremony, but some don’t. We’re trying to reach out to couples who want a big wedding but maybe can’t afford it. You know, it costs a lot of money to put on a wedding.” The church sanctuary holds 900 people, so there will be plenty of room for family and friends of the 50 couples who will be married. The church’s own 60-voice choir will be joined by Diverse Harmony, the country’s first Gay-Straight Alliance youth chorus.
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Of the five clergy who will participate in the December 9 wedding, two are Gay, one is a Lesbian, and two are straight – “but we love them anyway,” Darling laughs. Darling married his own husband, John Darling, in 2011 at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. “We didn’t believe at that time that our state would do what it’s done,” he says. “If we knew, we might have waited to be married here.” NOT JUST CHRISTIAN Although Seattle First Baptist is affiliated with the American Baptist denomination, the ceremony will be “universalist in style,” Darling explains. “We take a much more holistic view of religion,” he adds. “We share the building with a synagogue. We have Native American spiritualists who worship here. We have Buddhists who worship here – including my husband!” While the church has occupied its present landmark site since 1912, its history goes back 142 years, Darling says. It was founded by five families who disagreed with what they believed was the City’s unfair treatment of the Duwamish nation, the original residents of what became Seattle. First Baptist has been loyal to its progressive beginnings ever since, Darling says with pride. “In the 1920s, the church supported women’s right to vote. We opposed participating
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in the two World Wars. During World War II, we purchased the homes of our Japanese neighbors so they wouldn’t lose them [during the government-ordered internment of Japanese Americans], as they did in other places. “In the 1960s and ’70s, this became a center for people of all sexual orientations and all gender identities. This was the very first church to sign up with Washington United [in the Approve Referendum 74 campaign]. “Not least – I met my husband here!”
salons, photographers. “When people arrive there will be photos, we’ve also arranged for musicians, and then people will be ushered into the center’s Celebration Hall. “The service itself will be very universal – and there will be time for individualized moments particular to each couple so they may exchange their own vows.” Four of the center’s eight clergy will officiate at the wedding. Ingersoll says he hopes that by arranging all the details, his church can help couples focus on the spiritual meaning of their marriage. “Often the incidentals really overwhelm continued from cover the event itself,” he told SGN. “We want to We’re an eclectic mix of people on their focus on the sacred moment – the historic spiritual journeys. We believe all spiritual moment. We want to say that nothing is wrong and everything is right about these paths are valid. “Many people find things in the [reli- couples. Love is love.” gious] tradition they were raised in that HIGH LGBT MEMBERSHIP are not right for them,” he continued. “But Ingersoll says that some 40% of the cenpeople still enjoy ritual. People like to sing sacred songs. People like to light candles.” ter’s members are LGBT, but “there is a Couples who wish to be married on De- deep commitment to equality among all our cember 15 need to bring their valid state members. Many are active in the GSBA, marriage licenses, which can be obtained the Pride Foundation – myself and others from a county clerk. The church will pro- helped found Bailey Boushay House. “We were deeply involved in R-74. I’m vide everything else, Ingersoll says. proud of my church.” Asked if he planned to marry his own PERSONAL TOUCH “As all clergy do, there are certain things partner of 15 years at the December 15 cerwe’re responsible for – marriage certifi- emony, Ingersoll laughed. “I’m going to be a little busy that day,” he cates, for example,” Ingersoll explains, “but we’ve also made arrangements with florists, said. “Maybe the day after.”
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www.oceanshoresweddings.com 206-403-8170 Let us make your wedding day as fun as a day at the beach.
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