Celebrating 41 Years!
Issue 6 Volume 42
FRIDAY February 7, 2014 FREE! 25¢ in bookstores & newsstands
Sec 2 Pg. 1
Seattle Gay News SEATTLE’S LGBT NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
Musab Musmari arrested/charged with New Year’s Eve arson fire at Neighbours A 30-year-old Bellevue man accused of starting a fire at Neighbours Seattle (1509 Broadway) during the New Year’s Eve celebration was charged Wednesday with firstdegree arson. Musab Musmari, who police had named a person of interest, is being held on $1 million bail. King County prosecutors said he was on his way to the airport to use a recently purchased one-way ticket to Turkey when he was arrested last Saturday. What Musmari is accused of is arson. But it was much more than that. It was attempted murder. I was there. And it was horrible. On New Year’s Eve a man matching the description of Musmari entered Neighbours with the intention of burning the building down, and everyone inside with it. At the time Musmari allegedly set the fire, just minutes after the countdown to midnight, there were over 750 people inside the popular nightclub that has served Gay customers for three decades.
Seattle Fire Department officials tell me that, given the amount of people and the intensity in which a fire would burn if fueled by gasoline, 90 percent of the potentially hundreds of victims would die from asphyxiation before they were burned. Others, the most unlucky, would be trampled and even worse, severely burned to death. So many things happened within 30 seconds that night it makes my head spin when I think about it. As the fire began to quickly grow, smoke and the smell of gasoline filled the air. I was just 25 feet away from the flames, which were set in the stairway nearest the Broadway entrance. By my side was my husband. We had been pouring champagne for the nightclub that night; it’s a tradition and this was our second year lending a hand. Yee-Shin and I were happy to do it. Neighbours is where we spent our first Gay Pride together in 2010 and every year since. The venue is where we spent holidays, celebrated birthdays of friends, and produced a musical to raise money for marriage equality back when Referendum 74 hadn’t yet
Jewel Samad / AFP / Getty Images
by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor
Suspected arsonist Musab Mohamed Musmari
qualified for the November ballot. I tell you this because I want you to understand that Neighbours, like many neighborhood or community venues – especially the
very few that have survived time, that doesn’t mean that the bartendchange, and the ups and downs ers, door person, management, and of the economy – are much more entertainment don’t know you. than “just a club.” At Neighbours you are family. It’s a big club. But see Neighbours page 5
43 LGBT activists Go Hawks! and David Kopay! arrested in Idaho Courtesy of Associated Press
Former Idaho State Sen. Nicole LeFavour being arrested
by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer Idaho police arrested 43 LGBT rights activists in the Idaho Senate on February 3, after the demonstrators shut down the state’s Senate for two hours. They now face misdemeanor trespassing charges, punishable by up to six months in jail, and a $1,000 fine.
The activists had been standing silently with their hands over their mouths, the Boise Spokesman-Review said, blocking every entrance to the Senate chambers. They wore black T-shirts that read “Add the 4 Words.” The words in question are “sexual orientation” and “gender idensee IDAHO page 7
It’s good to be a Seattleite lately. Let’s face it; the city is on a roll. From marriage equality to electing Ed Murray as mayor to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis taking the music scene by storm and Jinkx Monsoon winning Season Six of RuPaul’s Drag Race, people are actually beginning to see the Emerald City as more than just a bunch of passive-aggressive people living in the rain soaked shadow of the Space Needle. But all of that is small potatoes compared to the monumental ultimate win of all wins: The Super Bowl. And last Sunday, in front of a U.S. television broadcast record 111.5 million viewers, the Seattle Seahawks beat the Denver Broncos 43-8. Of all households in Seattle that were watching TV on Sunday night, 92% were tuned to the Super Bowl. On Wednesday, 700,000 fans jammed downtown Seattle to celebrate the city’s first Super Bowl win in franchise history. People began to stakeout their spot on the parade route before sunrise, grown men wept and Seahawks players threw jerseys and T-shirts to fans while waving blue “12” flags in honor of the fans. Seattle’s openly Gay mayor, Ed Murray, who some have dubbed
Courtesy of HRC
by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor
Outspoken openly-Gay former Husky and NFL running back David Kopay
the “12th Mayor,” appeared on the Today show and The Colbert Report leading up to the game, and has got to be proud of us. Fans launched fireworks, blared horns and partied across the city as the final seconds of the Super Bowl ticked away. The celebration lasted into the night. But there was little-to-no rioting. Aside from a few small fires and dam-
age done to the Pioneer Square pergola (which Seattleites chipped in $16,046 to a Gofundme online fundraiser within days to help repair it) Seattle showed the world that it is possible to celebrate without vandalism and violence. In a video posted on Youtube that made the rounds all week, a large group see KOPAY page 8
2
Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
Celebrating 41 Years!
Visit us online www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News
3
Seattle Gay News FOUNDED 1973
1605 12th Ave., Ste. 31 Seattle, WA 98122
Phone: (206) 324-4297 Fax: (206) 322-7188
MEMBER
e-mail: sgn2@sgn.org internet: www.sgn.org
2013
Deadlines
Local news
Neighbours Stand with Mr. Z Day launches new foundation continued from cover
Courtesy of Good Samaritan Episcopal Church
Classifieds - Thursday at noon Calendar - Tuesday 6pm Display Ads: Space Reservation - Monday 5pm Ad copy (non-camera ready) - Tues. 5pm Ad copy (camera ready) - Wed. 5pm Letters to the Editor - Tuesday 5pm Obituaries - Call the SGN office All others - Tuesday 5pm
Editor In Chief George Bakan Associate Editor Shaun Knittel Calendar Editors Mike Andrew and Rick McKinnon Travel Editor George Bakan Advertising Manager Marty Weisbrod Advertising Department Maggie Bloodstone, Tym Brown, Tim Moffett Executive Assistant Mike Andrew Staff Writers Mike Andrew, Miryam Gordon, Anthony Greer, Shaun Knittel, Albert Rodriguez, James Whitely Contributing Writers Rev. Barbara Allen, Eric Andrews-Katz, Madelyn Arnold, Maggie Bloodstone, Beau Burriola, Jessica Davis, Ron Anders, Jessica Price, Milton W. Hamlin, Scott Wittet, Nevin Jefferson, Jason A. Miller, Liz Meyer, Rod Parke, Don Paulson, Scott Rice,Leslie Robinson, Richard Kennedy, Rex Wockner
Classifieds Mike Andrew and Rick McKinnon Photographers
Nate Gowdy, Joseph P. Herron, Shaun Knittel, James Whitely National Advertising Rep. Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 Website Designer Barry Thorsness/Digital Team Works Seattle Gay News is published weekly by Frogs and Ink, Inc. © 2014, Frogs and Ink, Inc., all rights reserved. Reprints by permission.
Publication of names, photographs or likenesses of any person, organization, event or business in this publication cannot be taken as any indication of the sexual orientation of the person, organization, event or business. Opinions expressed in bylined articles, columns, and letters are those of the authors only and do not necessarily reflect the views of the staff or management of this paper. Seattle Gay News welcomes unsolicited material, including letters to the editor, but reserves the right to edit or reject material. All rights revert to authors upon publication. We assume no liability for loss or damage of materials, solicited or not. We invite feedback, please write. And please play safe. It is our policy that no money shall be refunded if you choose to cancel your subscription or ad. However, credit towards any size ad will be given for the balance owed. No exceptions.
Mark Zmuda (left) and his husband Dana Jergens
by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor Mark Zmuda, the former vice principal of Eastside Catholic high school, who was forced to resign after it was revealed he’d married his same-sex partner, launched the Stand With Mr. Z Foundation at an event put together by Eastside alumni, January 31. The Foundation launched its first event: “Z Day” that Friday, in which students and friends who support Zmuda and equality for LGBT people were encouraged to wear orange and tweet “I Stand With Mr. Z” with the hashtag Zday. “They told me that, unfortunately, because I married a man, it was against Catholic social teachings ... and that they, unfortunately, were going to have to let me go,” Zmuda recalled the meeting in which Eastside Catholic President Sister Mary Tracy fired him when he spoke to some 250 supporters inside parish hall at St. Joseph Parish to discuss the Catholic Church’s attitude toward Gays and why it must change. An emotional Zmuda came onstage to announce the formation of the “Stand with Mr. Z Foundation.” Cleve Jones, a veteran San Francisco Gay rights and union organizer (who had been an aide to assassinated San Francisco supervisor Harvey Milk and who was portrayed by actor Emile Hirsch in the movie “Milk”) told the audience how he felt watching Mr. Z protests from afar. “I am really moved by this,” Jones said. “I get a feeling that what is happening here is not one of those brief and transitory moments.” Seattle Archbishop J. Peter Sartain, who
In Loving Memory Of
Steve Foiles, Scott Roger Alpert, Cookie Andrews-Hunt, James Leland Moore, Randy Peters, Lee Richeson, Shaun Shelton, Jim Tully, James Arnold
4
Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
campaigned against Referendum 74, which legalized same-sex marriage in Washington state, has forbidden any use of church or Catholic school facilities for such marriages or receptions. In addition, Catholic clergy cannot give marriage-preparation counseling to Gay or Lesbian couples. Across the country, employees of Catholic schools and organizations who have legally married same-sex partners have started to lose their jobs. The firing of Zmuda generated a protest that has spread from the Eastside Catholic campus in Sammamish to other Catholic high schools in the area. Members of the Eastside Catholic swim team that he coached, were at the event wearing “Swim for Coach Z” T-shirts. The students at Eastside became the teachers, Mr. Z argued. “They are trying to teach the Church and the school some valuable lessons. They are trying to live a message broadcast every day at the school after announcements: “Take care of each other,” he said. “It is because of you and your bravery that we are here tonight,” Zmuda added. Zmuda was raised Catholic. He believes in God and the Holy Trinity and, he says, tries to obey the Ten Commandments “to the best of my ability.” Cleve Jones, who is 60, said he is hopeful that he will “see all my people gain full protection under the law in all 50 states, I will see that in my time.” For more information about the Stand With Mr. Z Foundation, visit www.standwithmrz.org.
In fact, most people would tell you that it is a place that so many take for granted. It is often said that Neighbours is “where you end up” each Friday and Saturday night on the Hill. Over the past 30 years the nightclub was the first nightclub experience for many – whether they went as soon as they turned 18 years old at 2 a.m. when 18+ are allowed in, or when they first moved to town for work or school, or because they followed their family. What I mean to say is this: My husband was in danger. My good friend, someone who I consider family, Neighbours GM Steve Tracy could have died. The entertainers from Ceasar Hart to Aleksa Manila – both treasures of this community – to the legendary Randy Schlager and bar staff like Johnathan Horton and Joe Torres were targets of a mad man and his fire. No, this was not simply just arson. This was, for everyone in the building, an attack on our lives and the lives of the people we love. I saw the smoke almost immediately. In fact, I felt the heat first. It made the hair on my arms stand up and all I could think of was Yee-Shin. I grabbed him and as he turned around, before I could even say anything, I could tell he was seeing the same thing that I was. Black, billowing smoke was beginning to fill the air, which became heavy and toxic almost immediately. Only five seconds had passed. I yelled to my husband that there was a fire and that he needed “to get out!” Yee-Shin nodded and as he turned around, he began to tell people to head for the exit. People listened and one by one, began to alert the person standing next to them and so on. When I recall the events from that evening, I know logically that people were moving rather quickly. But that night it seemed as though they were moving at a snail’s pace. Anxiety doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling of when the thought crossed my mind that some of them might not make it out. Hell, I didn’t even know if I was going to make it out. Would that be the last time I saw my beautiful husband. “No!” I told myself and began to evacuate people, too – all the while moving towards the blaze so I could help douse the flames. Unbeknownst to me, atop the mezzanine at the very same time, a similar scene was unfolding. Luckily, the arsonist poured gasoline on stairs that were carpeted. Had the stairway been set ablaze with fuel that was flowing freely from the stairwell onto the dance floor, the situation could’ve gone from bad to worse in no time. A bartender saw the fire first. He scrambled to get a fire extinguisher, but had to leave his station to do it. In that same moment, a woman and her two friends, a U.S. Army staff sergeant and an Air Force member sprang into action. The woman ushered people down the opposite stairway to safety and the two servicemembers located a fire extinguisher and quickly put out the fire before it spread. The club’s sprinkler system activated, and no one was hurt. The whole ordeal lasted all of about 30 seconds. Over half of the nightclub’s nearly 800 customers were outside, safe, in the Neighbours alley and had no clue why they were out there in the first place. Steve Tracy and I reentered the club and took a security guard and the bartender that had been closest to the fire with us. Keep in mind that this was 1 minute after the blaze was put out; the fire department was still on their way to the club. And that is when, as we walked through the gallons of water that were pouring from the ceiling onto the pool table, and we hoped not the electronic equipment below, we saw it. A plastic red gasoline container with a rag wrapped around the handle sat at the top of the stairs, against the wall, just below a window. It was full of gasoline. The intention was, one could only guess, to create an explosion. The month-long investigation by SPD’s Arson/Bomb Squad, and members of a Joint Terrorism Task Force, came to an end Sunday when Musmari was arrest. Although the investigation had frustrated some police tip-
Celebrating 41 Years!
gressively worse.” “Musmari, who also has a record under the last name Masmari, has a string of assaults and no contact violations on Capitol Hill,” report CHS blog. “While he has a record of Seattle assaults and arrests that increased in frequency starting last spring, there is nothing in his criminal record at the level of the attack on the longtime Gay dance club. Despite the club’s long history in Gay culture, police and city officials have been careful not to call the arson attempt a hate crime or an act of terrorism.” Last spring, Musmari was involved in a DUI incident in the 600 block of Harvard Ave. E. Prior to the arrest, Musmari worked as a delivery driver with a Capitol Hill pizza shop. Bad behavior, and some downright odd behavior, began to increase, witnesses say. In July, a Seattle woman filed for a protection order against Musmari for a series of harassing incidents. In one incident, he followed a woman and her friends (who were on foot while he was in a car) to Volunteer Park and proceeded to pick a fight with the group. And again, as time went on, his behavior grew more erratic and dangerous. Musmari is accused of hitting a man with a pool cue in a July assault. Musmari was arrested and eventually found guilty. In the meantime, he’s had multiple arrests for violating court orders. In November, he pleaded not guilty to two counts of violating a civil protection order. Musmari had been a resident of Capitol Hill, living near Broadway and Roy. However, at a recent sentencing hearing he said he had moved to the Eastside. His Facebook profile lists Benghazi, Libya as his hometown. Musmari has had a U.S. passport since at least 2010. From the start, as soon as the public learned of the Benghazi connection, allegations began to surface that maybe the family, which owns Neighbours, the Elassiouti family, had a connection to Musmari. The family denied the claims immediately; however, the assertions continued to persist. Both Musmari and Elassiouti’s are from North African heritage. However, according to Mona Elassiouti, the daughter of the owner of Neighbours, that is the only similarity between the family and Musmari. Moe Elassiouti, Neighbours’ owner, was born to a poor family in a small town in Egypt. He lost his father at an early age and was thrust into the role of patriarch. In his 20s, he traveled to Germany to escape Third-World poverty. Moe worked as a bartender and waiter at a local resort while attending a hotel and restaurant management school there. He met his future bride, a young German woman. The couple married and eventually settled in more tolerant Vancouver, B.C., where they opened a little cab-
Visit us online www.sgn.org
aret on Robson Street called Sahara Nights, a Middle Eastern-style venue with belly dancers who performed nightly in a Moroccan decor. Over the course of several years, the club began to attract a Gayer clientele, which resulted in the transformation of the venue into a dance club called Neighbours. In the early ‘80s, Moe expanded the business by opening Neighbours Seattle on Capitol Hill. Prior to its 1983 debut, the location was Bogart’s, a beer and sandwich shop. Moe had to earn each customer. Business was slow in the beginning due to strong competition from a nearby club the Brass Rail, later known as the Brass Connection. At first Neighbours didn’t serve liquor, but the Brass Rail did. People didn’t want to only drink beer so Moe made the decision to offer a full bar. The Elassiouti family fully embraced their new community. In the early days of the AIDS epidemic, the role the club was thrust into was one of activism. At first the community was fragmented because of AIDS. Then, AIDS united it and the club became a place where people gathered to be a part of something, to identify with each other, comfort each other, and forget the devastating
Last week, The Stranger reported that sources who spoke confidentially said that Mona Elassiouti may be acquainted with Musmari, but The Stranger was not been able to verify the claims. Mona was understandably upset that someone would make up such a claim. “To be clear, I do not know Musmari in any capacity,” Mona said, defending herself. ”We have never been acquainted. In fact, that applies to every member of the Elassiouti family.” She did say, however, that the Elassiouti family would like to “especially extend our thanks and gratitude to the public.” “Several people came forward with information about Musmari after Neighbours released video footage of him taken on NYE,” she said. “Some of that information might have helped lead to his arrest.” Elassiouti says that it is their hope that if Musmari is found guilty of committing arson, Musmari “is prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.” In addition, Elassiouti said, “We also would like to thank the media agencies that reported the facts surrounding this case and published information supplied
“The investigation in this case is far from complete ... there are many witnesses still to interview and other investigative leads to chase” suffering for a few hours. Still, some members of the LGBTQ community seem stuck on the idea that a straight-owned Gay nightclub is somehow problematic. Though the family has definitely profited from the business they have also given a lot back to the community. Something Neighbours continues to do. Something the Elassiouti family says they will always do. If anything, Neighbours offers a safe space for people to be who they truly are – free of judgment and shame. “Our family has always understood and embraced the challenges of being in a minority position,” Mona Elassiouti told Seattle Gay News in a 2008 interview.” At the end of the day, discrimination is discrimination, and everyone in our family understands that. Striving for equal rights as it applies to race, religion, sexual orientation and gender has been an underlying theme behind everything we do.” The diversity of the clientele is evident every night they are open. It is something the management, staff and ownership are extremely proud of. Everybody comes to Neighbours. In fact, diversity is considered Neighbours key to its successful three-decade existence.
to them by Neighbours, which facilitated the identification and subsequent arrest of Mr. Musmari.” “My family takes comfort in knowing that in the coming months all the burning questions about the arson will be answered as investigators work to piece together the events from that evening,” said Mona. Currently, information has surfaced that a witness had met with Musmari and spoken with him about the arson. Although Musmari never said why he started the fire, he did indicate that he didn’t want to get into trouble, so once he saw that his photo and video surveillance footage had led to his being identified by witnesses, he bought a ticket to leave town. Luckily, Musmari never made the flight. He was arrested before he could reach Sea-Tac airport. I believe in innocent until proven guilty. And I expect the man to get a fair trial. But I also expect for Musmari to be charged with more than arson. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that what he did was attempted murder of 750 people. I will attend the hearings and trial in hopes that justice will be served. The city, the nightclub, and the LGBTQ community are safer tonight with Musmari behind bars. courtesy of queerty
sters and officials at the nightclub, the FBI and Seattle Police admit it was because of the “numerous” tips they received from the public in the case that led to the apprehension of Musmari. Police say one witness who came forward talked with Musmari about the situation and about his prospects for leaving the country. Police do not document how they learned Musmari had contacted a travel agent. Musmari is a dangerous and disturbed man. Even now, he remains in jail. After the fire and one week passed I began to get restless. It seemed as though SPD didn’t have any leads or anything that they were following on the case. Neighbours officials had handed over copies of the surveillance footage that show Musmari acting suspicious and carrying something wrapped up that is the same shape as the gasoline container found at the scene of the fire. The surveillance video shows Musmari jumping a rail and entering the packed club via the smoking area at Therapy, the bar in front of Neighbours on Broadway, just before midnight. Beneath his coat, he is carrying a canister of gasoline. He proceeds to the mezzanine area where he orders a glass of water. He then goes down the stairs where the fire was set before returning to the mezzanine. Musmari does this one more time and then fire erupts just minutes later. Meanwhile, video surveillance catches Musmari escaping out of Neighbours the same way he snuck in. SPD did not want Neighbours to release the video footage to the public because they said it would cause Musmari to skip town. Another reason they gave KIRO 7 was that they wanted to respect the privacy of the other people in the video, who might not want their image put out to the public because they were inside of a Gay bar. I felt that these reasons were not valid and leaked the footage to the media. It worked. Neighbours had done the right thing. The safety of their guests, employees, and the nightclub’s legacy of being a safe space were more important than keeping the public in the dark on what was going on with the investigation. SPD says that people began to recognize Musmari from the video footage and that he made comments to witnesses that talked to him about the arson case. A bond hearing was delayed until Tuesday to arrange for an interpreter in the case. County prosecutors charged Musmari with arson. The courtroom was filled with media, and a man who identified himself as a friend of Musmari’s, who met him recently when renting an apartment from him in Bellevue, was swarmed by reporters. He told reporters he attended the hearing to show support for a man he didn’t have “any reason to believe” was involved in the crime. “The investigation in this case is far from complete,” Ian Goodhew, the deputy chief of staff in the prosecutor’s office, told The Stranger. He added that “there are many witnesses still to interview and other investigative leads to chase” by the time Musmari shows up for an arraignment hearing, scheduled for February 19. Goodhew says the goal is by that date to have additional evidence. This wasn’t the first time Musmari has found himself in trouble with the law. He is also scheduled to appear in Seattle Municipal Court to begin a 30-day jail sentence for an unrelated assault conviction. Broadway business owners and past victims of run-ins with Musmari who said they had contacted police after seeing the Neighbours images, spoke out this week. Wylie Bush, owner of Joe Bar says Musmari was a regular at his business for the last five years, and Musmari has frequented several other nearby bars in the area. He told The Stranger Musmari was banned from Joe Bar after he heard reports from employees that Musmari had stuck his finger into one patron’s food, ate food off yet another customer’s plate, and once unzipped his pants in front of Joe Bar in what might have been an attempt to expose himself. “We had all the signs of him losing his shit over time,” Bush said. “It just got pro-
Gettin’ down at Neighbours
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News
5
national news
Courtesy or Old Dominion University Libraries - Perry Library
Ruling in VA marriage case “soon,” judge says Couples may file class action, second judge rules
In the Norfolk case, Virginia Solicitor General Stuart Raphael – following the lead of his boss, Attorney General Mark The judge in one lawsuit challeng- Herring – compared the state’s ban on ing Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage same-sex marriage to its previous laws promised a ruling “soon” at the initial banning interracial marriage. by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer
“Virginia erects a wall around its gay and lesbian citizens, excluding them from the most important relation in life.” February 4 hearing in the case, while in a second case, the judge ruled that Gay and Lesbian couples may file a class action to secure marriage rights. Federal District Judge Arenda Wright Allen, sitting in Norfolk, told the court “You’ll be hearing from me soon,” after hearing opening arguments in the suit before her. Reporters present in the courtroom say she emphasized the word “soon.” The case before Judge Wright Allen involves a Gay couple who wish to marry and a Lesbian couple who were married in California and want Virginia to recognize their marriage. In a second case, before Federal District Judge Michael Urbanski, two Lesbian couples in western Virginia have asked for declaratory judgment striking down Virginia’s ban on their marriages and a permanent injunction preventing the state from enforcing the ban in the future. On January 31, Urbanski ruled that the case could be expanded into a class action that included all of the estimated 15,000 Gay and Lesbian couples who wish to marry inVirginia.
“We are not going to make the mistakes our predecessors made,” Raphael told the judge. The plaintiffs in this case are represented by AFER (American Foundation for Equal Rights) attorneys Theodore Olson and David Boies, who won the California Prop. 8 case before the U.S. Supreme Court. “Virginia erects a wall around its gay and lesbian citizens, excluding them from the most important relation in life,” Olson said in oral arguments, adding that marriage was a fundamental right that is about “freedom” and “liberty.” Boies said the state is harming children being raised in same-sex households by “denying recognition and legitimacy” to their parents’ relationships. Olson added that the judge should be suspicious of decisions by the majority that single out groups that have historically been the victims of discrimination. “Sometimes the voters and the legislature get it wrong,” and the result violates the constitution, he told Wright Allen.
Federal District Judge Arenda L. Wright Allen
“So, we have you.” The two county officials defending the existing law – the only government officials who were willing to defend it – were represented by the anti-Gay group Alliance Defending Freedom. Their attorneys argued that only opposite-sex couples could procreate and successfully raise children. Wright Allen did not question any of the attorneys who spoke during the hearing. AFER wanted to represent plaintiffs in the Norfolk case because that one is apparently on the fast track to a decision. Once Judge Wright Allen rules at the District Court level, the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals is also expected to expedite its decision, allowing Olson and Boies to argue marriage equality be-
fore the U.S. Supreme Court once again. On the other hand, the ACLU which is representing the two Lesbian couples in Judge Urbanski’s court, said there are plenty of other candidates for Supreme Court review. James Esseks of the ACLU’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and AIDS Project said 47 cases in federal and state courts are challenging same-sex marriage bans in 24 of the 33 states that have them. “No one knows where the next decision might come from,” Esseks said. None of the cases will reach the high court for consideration in its current term, which ends in June, and none has yet been reviewed by appeals courts.
have a claim to SSI are advised to apply for the benefits immediately, because benefits are typically awarded retroactively to the date of filing. The Social Security Administration has made several accommodations for samesex spouses to attempt to comply with the Supreme Court ruling in Windsor.
The agency has already announced that they will pay survivor benefits to the living spouse of a same-sex marriage, and that they will award retirement benefits on the same basis for same-sex as for opposite-sex spouses. Both of these changes are likely to increase benefits for Gay and Lesbian spouses.
by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer The Social Security Administration has published new rules that treat same-sex spouses the same as opposite-sex spouses when processing applications for SSI (Supplemental Security Income). The agency says that these new instructions come in response to last year’s Supreme Court decision in USA v. Windsor, which found Section 3 of DOMA unconstitutional. “As with previous same-sex marriage policies, we worked closely with the Department of Justice,” said Acting Commissioner of Social Security Carolyn W. Colvin. “With the release of these instructions, we continue our commitment to treating all Americans fairly, with dignity and respect.” SSI provides monthly stipends to lowincome residents of the United States who are either 65 or older, blind, or disabled. While the program is administered by the Social Security Administration, money for the program comes from general tax revenues and not from the Social Security Trust Fund. The program was established in 1974, and today provides monthly benefits to
6
Seattle Gay News
about eight million U.S. residents. SSI benefit levels were initially pegged to the average monthly benefit that a retired worker got under the Social Security retirement benefits program, and SSI benefits automatically increase by the same percentage and at the same time as Social Security retirement, survivors, and disability benefits. However, the benefit payable to a couple is smaller than the combined benefits payable to two individuals, because Congress believed that two people living together can live more economically than if each lived alone. The reduced SSI couple benefit applies only to those who are legally married, which now includes Gay and Lesbian spouses. Critics say that these rules give SSI beneficiaries an incentive not to marry. On the other hand, SSI benefits are not restricted to U.S. citizens, so non-citizen spouses – now including same-sex spouses – of U.S. citizens may be eligible for SSI benefits. The rules governing non-citizens are complex, however, and some same-sex spouses may not be eligible for SSI. As with other Social Security programs, all people who believe they may
February 7, 2014
Courtesy of Getty
New SSI rules to apply to same-sex spouses
Celebrating 41 Years!
Idaho
continued from cover tity,” and the protest hoped to call attention to a pending bill to include those categories to Idaho’s civil rights laws, which already ban discrimination in employment, housing, and public accommodations on the basis of race, religion, and disability. Protestors began arriving at the Idaho capitol building about 8 a.m., and police were summoned to remove them at 11 a.m. when State President Pro Tem Brent Hill was
After she was released, LeFavour said she was treated respectfully by law enforcement. “We have no issue with police,” she said. “Our issue is with a Legislature that won’t stand up and say ‘cruelty to gay, lesbian and transgender people is wrong.’” Not all the demonstrators were veteran activists, however. Meredith Butts, an 18-year-old Boise High School student, told AP she got involved after seeing her friends face discrimination for their sexual orientation. “I want people who are my age and people Courtesy o fAssociated Press
The words in question are “sexual orientation” and “gender identity,” and the protest hoped to call attention to a pending bill to include those categories to Idaho’s civil rights laws ... blocked from entering the chamber. According to the Associated Press, Hill, a Republican, had informed Democratic sponsors of the “Add the 4 Words” bill that the measure would not get a committee hearing this year. It has also been denied a hearing in eight previous sessions. Among those arrested was former state Sen. Nicole LeFavour, the Idaho Legislature’s first openly Lesbian lawmaker and an organizer of the protest. Before the demonstration, she told AP that the group would block the entrances until lawmakers agreed to give the “Add the 4 Words” bill a hearing or until they were removed by authorities.
who are younger – really, anyone – to not have to hide who they are to prevent harm to themselves,” she said, adding that arrest would not deter her. After she was cited and released shortly before noon, Hilary Rayhill told SpokesmanReview reporters the arrest had been worth it. “Sure – they weren’t listening otherwise,” she said. “We’ve got to do something.” During the standoff, reporters asked 74-year-old protester Lee Taylor, a disabled Navy veteran, how far she was willing to go with her protest. Speaking with her hand still covering her mouth, Taylor said, “Boot ’em all out of office and find someone who’ll listen, I guess.”
Actor’s death reveals the double standard associated with heroin by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor
INVESTIGATING A HIGH PROFILE CASE When police arrived at Hoffman’s fourthfloor Manhattan apartment, they found the actor, wearing shorts and a T-shirt, his glasses still resting on his head, lying on the bathroom floor with a syringe in his left arm. Investigators discovered close to 50 envelopes of heroin in the apartment, many of them stamped with the words “Ace of Spades” in white lettering inside. Others were stamped with an ace of hearts playing card image. They also found used syringes, prescription drugs and empty plastic bags
Visit us online www.sgn.org
That might be the only alternative, since the Republican Senate leadership gave little evidence of willingness to consider the “Add the 4 Words” measure. “We respect your right to protest, but we also have the right to do the job people elected us to do,” Senate President Hill told protesters before police intervened, adding it was “irresponsible” of them to block the hearing room. “Those are the chambers, and they belong to all the people, not just this group,” he said. Another Republican legislator, Rep. Lynn Luker, has introduced legislation this ses-
sion to expand Idaho’s religious freedom law to include protections for people who refuse to do business with others on religious grounds. Luker cited cases in other states of business people who have faced penalties for discrimination, including a New Mexico wedding photographer who refused to photograph a same-sex marriage. Luker’s bill is pending in a House committee. Meanwhile, a lawsuit challenging Idaho’s ban on same-sex marriage is pending in federal court.
a few ugly truths about the way we report, investigate, and prosecute drug-related cases in America. Nearly 80 people combined die of heroin overdoses in Maryland and Pennsylvania and few arrests have been made, media barely covered these deaths, and now, potentially because of the widespread reporting of the Hoffman’s alleged overdose, on the street, word of a new, potent drug travels quickly. Other addicts will most likely seek it out, eager for an ever-elusive “better” high. That’s the sick thing about addiction. When addicts know there are heroin bags that are killing people or making them overdose, they become known as “good bags.” But Philip Seymour Hoffman wasn’t just a dead junkie. He is what the police and media sometimes refer to as a “high profile” case or individual. The public will be upset. People will be sad. And authorities don’t
like that and the mayors don’t need that kind of attention. So, instead of doing nothing, they actively investigate the case and find out who sold the victim drugs. Something that junkies who are virtually unknown by the public aren’t afforded. On Tuesday, a law enforcement source told CNN that the night before Hoffman died, he withdrew $1,200 from a grocery store ATM near his apartment. Hoffman got the money in six transactions Saturday night. Then, another witness told investigators he saw the Oscar-winning actor talking to two men wearing messenger bags about 8 p.m. Police are also reviewing surveillance video, including video of a restaurant where Hoffman had brunch Saturday morning with two people. Hoffman was a celebrated actor who also see HEROIN page 18 Buck Ennis
Anyone you talk to will tell you that they think as an actor Philip Seymour Hoffman was a genius. That’s because he was. Hoffman was probably the greatest character actor of his generation. And he didn’t shy away from roles that cast him as a Gay man either. He played the completely stunted boom operator Scotty in Boogie Nights (1997), Miss Rusty the drag queen in Flawless (1999) and the clever and nuanced Truman Capote in Capote (2005). “When I play somebody Gay, I never think of it as ‘I’m playing a Gay character’,” Hoffman told Michael Musto back in 2005. “It’s interesting to play all the different aspects of the character. There’s something else about the character that’s pulling me there that I identify with.” Yes, Hoffman was a genius. And he was fearless. He was widely admired. But he was also a heroin addict. Philip Seymour Hoffman died of an apparent drug overdose at his Manhattan apartment on Sunday. He was just 46-years-old.
used to hold drugs. Preliminary tests Tuesday showed the heroin recovered from Hoffman’s apartment did not contain fentanyl, a powerful narcotic used to treat cancer patients’ pain. Police officials tested the drugs to see if it contained fentanyl because if it had, then his death would be investigated as attempted murder. Last week, Maryland officials said heroin tainted with fentanyl had claimed at least 37 lives since September. And last month, at least 22 people in western Pennsylvania died after using heroin mixed with fentanyl. When I first learned that fentanyl, and other narcotics, are sometimes added to heroin (which can be 10 to 100 times more potent than morphine) I thought about how dangerous it is and how scary that must be to inject it into your bloodstream. The power of addiction is just that – powerful. But then I began to think: 37 people in Maryland and 22 in Pennsylvania and … how many arrests have been made? Is this a priority?” The sad truth is – no, it is not a priority. Well, that is, until over 20 people die in a very short period of time. A western Pennsylvania man identified as Tywon Laniel Newby, 39, was arrested recently on drug charges as part of an investigation into the spate of heroin overdose deaths in western Pennsylvania. Authorities seized more than 2,000 bags of suspected heroin from Newby’s home, including a shoebox with 48 bricks of suspected heroin with bags stamped with the name “Sky High.” As for Baltimore, the DEA has said authorities in other states have arrested some distributors that could help advance the Maryland probe. But the elephant in the room here is that nobody really seemed to give a shit about any of this until Hoffman’s death, revealing
Senate President Brent Hill is blocked from the Senate chambers by demonstrators at the Idaho Statehouse
Philip Seymour Hoffman
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News
7
SPORTS
KOPAY
continued from cover
Football and Gays. The two don’t really seem to go together do they? I mean, of course there are Gay football fans (and players for that matter) and the Lesbians sure turn out for the games, popular opinion doesn’t really point to a match made in Heaven. Let’s face it – in a professional sport where not even one player has come out as Gay, interest will wane. Now that’s not to say that Gay and Bisexual players aren’t there. Of course they are. They just aren’t out is all. With all the players coming out in college and high school – football, basketball, and the like – it would seem that as the older generation fades out, we could see the first openly Gay National Football League athlete within the next five years. And wouldn’t it just be perfect if that player was on the Seahawks roster? Well, there’s no way of knowing which team and at what time, but I think it’s a safe bet that the question isn’t of “if” but “when.” Well, here at the Seattle Gay News we think that, given the football fever that’s got hold of the city, now is the perfect time to educate our readers about Dave Kopay. DAVID KOPAY Dave Kopay became the first NFL player to do what OutSport’s editors call the “most important moment in Gay sports history.” Three years into retirement Kopay came out as Gay. The year was 1975. Kopay was raised in Chicago and Los Angeles, and attended a Roman Catholic seminary before starting at the University of Wash-
and became the key public name in her series. In 1977, he published a book, The David Kopay Story, with Perry Deane Young. Kopay and Smith had often talked about writing a book together. Sadly, that would never happen. Smith died of complications from AIDS in 1987 at age forty-three without having ever publicly acknowledged being Gay. Kopay says Smith’s legacy has been tar-
on contract – will come out as Gay. “I think it’s time for the National Football League to step up. [Commissioner Roger] Goodell has said some pretty powerful things recently and I want to thank him for it. I know there are Gay players in the National Football League and it’s time for them to come out, too.” At the end of the day, it would seem that Kopay wants the world to celebrate love echelon magazine
of fans are seen celebrating the Super Bowl win last Sunday in Ballard and they actually wait on the sidewalk until the light turns and they cross the street – avoiding jaywalking – all the while cheering and giving each other high-fives. So, yeah it feels great to live right here, right now.
his football days, especially his 1964 senior season when he led the Huskies to the Rose Bowl. “The fans in Washington were always so incredibly supportive of me.” This continued nearly 40 years later when Kopay was selected a captain for an alumni game. In addition, Kopay was named, during the 40th anniversary edition of the Advocate, as one of the 40 Gay and Lesbian heroes of that time. “That really makes me feel validated in a way,” he says, referring to times early in the Gay movement when some activists criticized him for being too outspoken. Kopay championed Gay rights in front of Congress in 1977, the American Bar Association in 1979, and the American Association of Pediatrics in 1980. Kopay played professional football with the San Francisco 49ers from 1964 to 1967, the Detroit Lions in 1968, the Washington Redskins in 1969-70, the New Orleans Saints in 1971 and the Green Bay Packers in 1972. While a running back for the Washington Redskins, Kopay says he had a relationship with teammate Jerry Smith, a star tight end for the team from 1965-1977. At the time of their affair, the legendary Vince Lombardi was head coach of the team. “That was like my first real coming-out experience,” Kopay told ESPN in a 1998 interview. “Jerry was much more worldly than I was. He had been to a number of countries, had a number of different lovers. It was an emotional moment for me since it was new, but it meant little to him. Still, I am thankful for his aggressiveness.” Things were different then. Kopay has said that looking for Gay sex was virtually nonexistent. But there were ways in which one could get around without living a life of solitude. “When I was in the NFL, I had group sex involving women as a way to have sex with men, often other athletes,” he said. “A lot of guys were married and they’d go home to their wives,” he said. “So
“The fans in Washington were always so incredibly supportive of me.” ington. Kopay attended the UW from 1961 to 1964; he completed his degree in history in 1966. Kopay became an All-American running back in his senior year, leading the team to the 1964 Rose Bowl as co-captain. As a University of Washington alumnus, in 2007 Kopay pledged $1 million to the UW’s Q Center, whose mission is to create an inclusive and celebratory environment for people of all sexual orientations. “The greatest gift we can give one another is the vision and beauty of life,” Kopay said in an interview when he donated the money. “I continually hear from people all over the world that my act of coming out especially when I did in 1975 has empowered them in their search for self and to see their vision. Hopefully, my million dollar pledge will influence others to support the University and the Q Center continue to help others to do just that.” In 2007, during half time of the Huskies’ home opener against Boise State, Kopay was inducted as a Husky Legend. Just thinking about walking out to midfield of Husky Stadium before 72,000 purple-clad fans caused Kopay to choke up and take a moment to compose his thoughts during an interview with OutSports in 2007. “It gets me emotional, it makes me cry,” he said. “I just get this feeling – I’m no different than anyone else. But people have to be able to see who we are and see that we’re everywhere.” Despite wrestling with his sexuality, Kopay said he had many fond memories of
the fact that I didn’t date a whole lot of women wasn’t unusual. Also, the fact that I moved around to six teams over my career, people didn’t get as close to me, so it was easier in that regard.” “Also, the time was the 1960s and ‘70s, and there was room for sexual experimentation, a little bit,” said Kopay. “And I did exactly that.” In 1997 Kopay told The New York Times he was ‘’out’’ to many of his teammates. Most were willing to judge him on his value to the team and nothing more he said. But he remembers how close he came to fighting one Redskins defensive lineman. ‘’A total jerk, a big queer-basher and naturally a favorite of Coach George Allen,’’ Kopay said. ‘’He was a drunk, he did drugs, and he took money from homosexuals for sex. He had a couple of local queens as sugar daddies, but he never considered himself homosexual. ‘’He started giving me a hard time. We would have fought, but Leonard Hauss, the great center and a team leader, stepped in. He told the guy to shut up, that I was a productive member of the team. The guy shut up.’’ In 1975, Kopay famously gave an interview to the Washington Star in which he declared he was Gay. Kopay had been reading Lynn Rosellini’s ground-breaking Washington Star series about Gay athletes and recognized an anonymous Gay source as his former teammate who he’d slept with, Jerry Smith. Kopay called Rosellini
David Kopay
nished when his sexual orientation became public with his death. Matt Maiocco writes in his book, San Francisco 49ers, “Smith is not in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, though his statistics clearly support his case. And when Shannon Sharper broke his NFL record for most career touchdown catches by a tight end, Smith was rarely spoken or written about as the man whose record was being broken.” Last year, when NBA player Jason Collins came out as Gay, Kopay became emotional. He was overjoyed. According to Jim Buzinski at OutSports, “I could hear him choking up.” “We’ve got a Gay general manager [Golden State president Rick Welts] and now we have a Gay player,” Kopay said. “It gets me emotional. [pause] I’m sorry. [pause] No, I’m not sorry, I’m happy as shit.” “I think it’s wonderful and it’s a smart thing to do. He’s from Stanford and that’s appropriate, too. It’s time, I think it’s fabulous and I’m really excited,” he said. “I really hope to hell that things continue to move along and we get beyond this like we’re getting beyond the Gay marriage issue.” Still, Kopay is holding on to hope that one day soon a pro football player – while
over more than anything. “People want to hear that sexuality is a cut-and-dried, easily definable situation. But we are made up of both female and male chromosomes, and I think the whole range of sexuality is on a fulcrum,” he said. “It varies, and everyone can have homosexual fantasies or love or whatever. I think there’s just not enough love, period, in the world. I can’t understand why people get so upset with that expression – unless, again, they are fighting their own fears. It seems the people who are most comfortable, who are the most secure in their sexuality.” “I’ve had heterosexual men tell me ‘thank you’ for a compliment; they’re flattered by the attention, not offended by it,” said Kopay. “You certainly don’t look at everyone with a sexual intention, anyway. The male and female body is an incredibly beautiful thing, and we should honor it.” The David Kopay Story remains a continuing favorite with people – pro athlete or not – coming to grips with their sexual identities. And Kopay continues to be an outspoken advocate for Gays in and out of professional sports.
Rich Full-Bodied Cafes Savory Homestyle Soups & Sandwiches 8
Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
Celebrating 41 Years!
northwest news
FEBRUARY CLINIC DEFENSE On Saturday, February 8, from 8 a.m.11 a.m., at Madison Planned Parenthood (2001 E. Madison St.) join Seattle Clinic Defense in support of women seeking services at Planned Parenthood. Seattle Clinic Defense is a grass roots group dedicated to comprehensive, medically-accurate, shameEQUAL RIGHTS WASHINGTON – free and affordable reproductive care for all, LOVE THY NEIGHBOURS in support of women seeking services at FUNDRAISER On Friday, February 7, doors at 7:30 Planned Parenthood. www.seattleclinicdep.m., show and auction 8-10 p.m., at Neigh- fense.org. bours Nightclub (1509 Broadway) join EMERALD CITY SOFTBALL Equal Rights Washington and guest hostASSOCIATION – esses Aleksa Manila and Robbie Turner and FIELD DAY for a fundraising auction with live entertainNEW-PLAYER CLINIC & ment to benefit Equal Rights Washington. SKILLS ASSESSMENT Tickets: $15 advance, $20 at the door. www. On Saturday, February 8, at 10 a.m., equalrightswashington.org. at North SeaTac Playfields (S. 128th St. & 20th Ave. S., SeaTac), players of all skill GAY CITY ARTS – levels are invited to attend this new-player “IT WILL KILL THEM!” clinic and skills assessment meet-up for FEBRUARY 6-9 On Thursday-Satuday, February 6-8, at ECSA’s 2014 LGBT softball season. For 8 p.m., and Sunday, February 9, at 2 p.m., rainout and league information, visit seattleat Calamus Auditorium at Gay City (517 E. gaysoftball.com. Pike St.), Gay City Arts presents Jennifer THE TRIPLE DOOR – Jasper’s “It Will Kill Them.” SUZANNE WESTENHOEFER Everyone has tried to put Jennifer Jasper On Saturday, February 8, doors at 6:30 in a box. Is she a Queer artist? Lesbian? Bisexual? Mainstream? In her signature p.m., show at 7:30 p.m., The Triple Door comedic storytelling style, “It Will Kill (216 Union St.) presents Lesbian comic SuThem!” explores the struggle she’s had with zanne Westenhoefer. Tickets: $35 advance; the need people have to label her. She has $40 day of show. 206-838-4333; www.thetbeen performing improvisational stories of ripledoor.net; 1-800-745-3000. her life for decades. Recently, she had critiSEATTLE RED DRESS PARTY cal success with her one-woman show, “I On Saturday, February 8, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Can Hear You ... but I’m Not Listening.” Tickets: $15-general, $13-student/senior. (VIP admission at 8 p.m.), at Fremont Studios (155 N. 35th St.) enjoy a festive evewww.gaycity.org ning with Michelle Visage, VIP pre-party hostess and MC for the evening, co-hostess SEATTLE WOMEN’S CHORUS – Gaysha Starr, Betty Who, Thea Austin, DJ “WE CAN SWING IT!” Grind, Ben de la Creme, DJ Bret Law, DJ FEBRUARY 6-9 On Thursday, February 6, through Sun- Breezy, Mantryx, and Shokra. Tickets: $40 day, February 9, at Cornish Playhouse at general admission ($50 at the door); $100 Seattle Center (201 Mercer St.) join the VIP ($120 at the door). This is a 21+ event, Seattle Women’s Chorus for an evening of ID required. Proceeds benefit Inspire Youth jazz, swing, stories and memoirs of the lives Project, Gay City, BABES Network, The of Rosie the Riveters. Dates/times: 2/6 7:30 Pride Project. www.seattlereddressparty.org p.m., 2/7 8 p.m., 2/8 2 p.m. & 8 p.m., 2/9 2 and on FaceBook. p.m. Tickets: $28, $33, $43, $53, $63. 206IMPERIAL COURT OF SEATTLE – 388-1400; www.seattlewomenschorus.org. CORONATION WEEK FEBRUARY 9-16 SEATTLE ASIAN AMERICAN On Sunday, February 9, at 11 a.m., at FILM FESTIVAL – C.C. Attle’s (1701 E. Olive Way) the ImLGBTQ SHOWCASE On Friday, February 7, 8:30 p.m., at Ark perial Court presents the In-Town Brunch Lodge Cinemas (Screen 2) (4816 Rainier and Awards ($10 cover), followed by VotAve. S.), the Seattle Asian Film Festival ing Day at C.C.’s from 1-6 p.m. All King with API Chaya Queer Network Program County and Island County residents (with and Three Dollar Bill Cinema, present an valid ID) are encouraged to vote for the Imevening LGBTQ showcase featuring two perial Court’s candidates for Emperor and short films, Kimchi Fried Dumplings and Empress. www.imperialcourtofseattle.com House for Sale, leading up to the evening and on Facebook. feature, R/Evolve: SEATTLE GAY & LESBIAN Lucas and Lincoln just got engaged. LuBOOK CLUB – VAINGLORY cas thinks they’ll have it all once marriage The Seattle Gay & Lesbian Book Club equality becomes law, but Lincoln isn’t satisfied. When he encounters a radical Queer meets every Wednesday from 6-7:15 p.m., hitchhiker, his inner artist is awakened, but at Seattle Area Support Groups Community his hasty actions soon jeopardize the life he Center (303 17th Ave. E. at E. Thomas St.). In February, the club will discuss Vainglohas built and the campaign for equality. Both director, Billie Rain, and writer/edi- ry by Ronald Firbank, a classic Gay writer tor/producer, Basil Shadid, will be present who was a huge influence on E.M Forster for a panel discussion following the film. and Evelyn Waugh. Alan Hollinghurst Cost is $11-general; $8-student/senior. For wrote about him in The Swimming Pool more information on this and the complete Library. He wrote eight short novels before dying at the age of 40. His first novel, Vainfestival, visit www.seattleaaff.org glory, written in 1915, is still available 99 years later. You have NEVER read anything like it. Take a chance on one of the oddest, most eccentric Gay stylists EVER. This is an experience in Gay sensibility. It’s the beginning of camp. For further details, vist the book club’s website. All GLBTQ folks are welcome to participate in this FREE book club. For more information, visit http://faculty.washington. edu/swittet/SGLBookClub/. 2014 NORTHWEST FLOWER & GARDEN SHOW WASHINGTON STATE CONVENTION CENTER FEBRUARY 5-9 www.gardenshow.com
compiled by Rick McKinnon SGN Staff Writer
GAY CITY ARTS – “ON THE TRAIL OF TREES” FEBRUARY 10 - MARCH 10 On Thursday, February 10, from 6-9 p.m., join Gay City (517 E. Pike St.) for their monthly artist’s reception. Shawn Marie Johnson’s “On the Trail of Trees” vividly captures her naturalist outings in the great Northwest, with colorfully saturated watercolors, sumi-ink paintings, and bold metal sculptures. “On the Trail of Trees” is presented in conjunction with Gay City Arts, through which Gay City collaborates with local LGBT artists to galvanize an audience for Queer arts, foster the development of LGBT artists, and facilitate artistic excellence across a wide range of disciplines, including theatre, music, dance, film, spoken word, literary and visual arts. A portion of any sales will be donated to Gay City. www.gaycity.org.
DJ SassyBlack (Cat of THEESatisfaction), gallery talks with Community Advisory Committee members throughout the night, and a Queering the Museum Project digital storytelling video playing in the Prologue Theater. All galleries at the museum will be open during this event. Tickets: $12 in advance; $15 at the door. www.mohai.org “CUPID’S HEART ATTACK” On Friday, February 14, doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m., at Rendezvous Theater, 2322 2nd Ave., Active Entertainment, Seattle Fun Events, and Social Outreach Seattle present “Cupid’s Heart Attack,” a Valentine’s Day variety show featuring a headlining performance by Eric Blu & The Soul Revue. With EmpeRoar FabuLous, Dimeatra Dee, Backpack Girl Bikinis, A Little Risque Designs, Edi Zanidache, Red X Roper, Grinder Girls, Karin Parks, Jack Mozie, ELoh. Live R&B from 10:30 p.m. to close. Tickets: $15. Email GuestList@ActivateTheArts.com for VIP discounts.
POZ SEATTLE – PRE-VALENTINE’S DAY SISTERS OF PERPETUAL CELEBRATION INDULGENCE, On Wednesday, February 12, from THE ABBEY OF ST. JOAN – 6-8 p.m., at The Cuff Complex (1533 13th “1/2 K RUN Ave.),POZSeattle hosts their monthly 2nd FROM COMMITMENT” Wednesday social. This month wear red for TO BENEFIT YOUTHCARE POZSeattle’s pre-Valentine’s Day CelebraOn Saturday, February 15, starting at tion with DJ PBear and go-go boy Logan 3:30 p.m. at Cal Anderson Park (1635 Howlette. 11th Ave. at E. Olive St.) and finishing at 4 p.m. with an After Party at The Cuff IMPERIAL COURT OF SEATTLE – Complex (1533 13th Ave.), enjoy a short CORONATION WEEK walk or run and after party to raise monFEBRUARY 9-16 On Thursday, February 13, doors at 7 ey for YouthCare, supporting Seattle’s p.m., show at 7:30 p.m., at The Baltic Room homeless youth. Cost is $10.50 to register. (1207 Pine St.), the Imperial Court pres- www.facebook.com/theabbeyofsaintjoan. ents the Denver and Salt Lake City Show, LIFELONG AIDS ALLIANCE – featuring performances by dignitaries and GAY BINGO! friends of The Court from Denver and Salt BRIDESMAIDS EDITION Lake City in town for Coronation. No cover. On Saturday, February 15, from 7-10 On Friday, February 14, doors at 6 p.m., show at 7 p.m., at Neighbours Nightclub p.m., at Fremont Studios (155 N 35th St.), (1509 Broadway, entrance in alley between join Lifelong AIDS Alliance for an evening Broadway and Harvard Ave. off E. Pike St.), of Gay Bingo! Bridesmaids Edition featurthe Imperial Court presents the Out of Town ing live performances from your favorite Show ($15 cover), featuring performances drag queens plus live on-stage weddings by dignitaries and friends of The Court vis- and vow renewals plus costume contests, iting from outside Seattle in town for Coro- photo opportunities and more. This isn’t your grandmother’s bingo. Tickets: $50 nation. On Saturday, February 15, doors at 5 general admission; $69 Queen for a Day p.m., ball at 6 p.m., at the Renaissance Se- VIP. Proceeds benefit Lifelong AIDS Alliattle Hotel (515 Madison St.), the Imperial ance. www.llaa.org/gaybingo. Court presents Coronation 2014 – “The ONE LOVE Future Masquerade: A Journey Through WEDDING SHOWCASE the Past, Present & Future.” Tickets: $50 On Sunday, February 16, from 12 noonavailable in advance at goo.gl/ioy2wX and at the door. Light fare available for purchase 5 p.m., at the Hyatt at Olive 8 (1635 8th Ave outside the ballroom. All entrees $7. Queen at Olive Way), enjoy over 100 fabulous venMother of the Americas Empress Nicole the dors ready to help you plan your life togethGreat presents her 8th annual State of the er. Hot trends, classic touches, fresh inspiraEmpire address. tion. Complimentary admission and the first On Sunday, February 16, at 11 a.m., at 50 guests will receive a free cocktail. Valet Lost Lake (1505 10th Ave.), the Imperial parking available at discounted flat rate of Court presents the Victory Brunch. Come $12. www.oneloveseattle.com. celebrate the investiture of The Court’s new reigning monarchs. Cost: $20 per plate. Q SQUARED MEN – On Sunday, February 16, at 2 p.m., at Q-SPRING 2014 C.C. Attle’s (1701 E. Olive Way), the ImAPRIL 25-27 perial Court presents the Alaska Birdwater Q-Spring, a celebration of self and Spring Party, featuring performances by dignitaries for Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Men, is and friends of The Court in town for Coro- a chance to gather with other men to reflect nation. on, embrace, and celebrate who you are, where you have been, and where you are “REVEALING QUEER” – headed. Discover new parts of yourself and LGBT HISTORY AT MOHAI enjoy the company of other men in a nonFEBRUARY 14-JULY 6 judgmental, attitude-free atmosphere. Seattle’s Museum of History and Industry For more information and to register, visit (860 Terry Ave. N. in South Lake Union) www.qsquared.org or phone 253-216-3997. presents “Revealing Queer,” a landmark exhibit on the history of the Puget Sound region’s LGBTQ community. On Friday, February 14, from 7-11 p.m., MOHAI will host a special opening night celebration for the exhibit. Enjoy Gay Bingo hosted by Mama Tits, Queer burlesque with Lily Divine and Pidgeon Von Tramp,
Rich Full-Bodied Cafes Savory Homestyle Soups & Sandwiches Visit us online www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News
9
10 Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
Celebrating 41 Years!
Visit us online www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News 11
12 Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
Celebrating 41 Years!
Visit us online www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News 13
Discover 40 years of LGBTQ history in the Puget Sound region 860 Terry Avenue N., Seattle, WA 98109 206.324.1126 www.mohai.org
14 Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
Celebrating 41 Years!
Visit us online www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News 15
international news
Conviction in Russian Gay murder
Scotland approves marriage equality
Courtesy of RIA Novosti
by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer A Russian court has convicted three men of murdering another man they believed to be Gay. According to BBC News, the killers lured their victim to a remote forest in Kamchatka – a peninsula in Russia’s extreme northeast – where they stabbed and kicked him to death. They then put the body in a car and set it on fire in an attempt to conceal the crime. The murder took place in May 2013. A statement on the Kamchatka chief prosecutor’s website said investigators established that the three committed the murder “out of personal hatred, based on their conviction that their fellow villager’s sexual orientation was non-traditional.” BBC adds that, “It is unusual for Russian prosecutors to acknowledge homophobia as a motive for an attack.” The court handed down jail terms of 12-and-a-half years, 10-and-a-half years, and nine years, to be served in a harsh-regime penal colony. The perpetrators were convicted for premeditated murder, but not for committing a hate crime. LGBT rights in Russia have become an international issue in the run-up to the Sochi Winter Olympics, which begin February 8. Russian President Vladimir Putin has
by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer
On February 4, the Scottish Parliament approved the Marriage and Civil Partnership Bill, allowing Gay and Lesbian couples to marry. Although both the Church of Scotland and the Roman Catholic Church opposed the measure, the vote was a lopsided 105 to 18 in favor. Scotland’s leading LGBT organizations, including the Equality Network and Stonewall Scotland, and a range of other human rights groups, pushed the legislation. According to BBC News, the country’s first same-sex weddings could begin this fall, “October at the earliest.” Although it is part of the United Kingdenied anti-Gay prejudice, and Russian au- dom, Scotland has been internally self-govthorities seem willing to convict the most erning since 1996. The British parliament egregious anti-Gay criminals. Maksim “The Cleaver” Martsinkevich, for example, was recently remanded to Russian custody and has begun serving a threeyear prison sentence for kidnapping and torturing Gay men. Martsinkevich fled to Cuba approved marriage equality for England and in November but was arrested by Cuban au- Wales in 2013. thorities and returned to Russia in January. The Scottish government introduced the On the other hand, Human Rights Watch legislation after what they called a “national released videos on February 3 showing Gay consultation” in which they solicited commen being attacked and beaten by homopho- ments from Scottish citizens. Some 78,000 bic vigilantes in the Martsinkevich mold. people reportedly replied. “As the host to the 2014 Winter Olympic Scottish Health Secretary Alex Neil said Games, which begin on February 7, 2014, passing the bill marked “a historic day in in Sochi, Russia should act in accordance the history of the Scottish Parliament.” The with the principle of nondiscrimination, a leaders of the Scottish National Party, which core provision of the Olympic Charter,” Hu- dominates the country’s parliament, supman Rights Watch said in a statement. “As a ported the measure, as did the leaders of the member of the Council of Europe, and party opposition Labor and Conservative parties. to multiple human rights treaties, it should On the eve of the February 4 debate, Neil meet its obligations to provide equal respect said all couples in Scotland should be given and protection for LGBT people. the same rights, regardless of gender. “The Russian authorities have the power “We have always maintained at the heart to protect the rights of LGBT people, but in- of this issue there is one simple fact: a marstead they are ignoring their responsibility riage is about love,” he told Britain’s Eveto do so. By turning a blind eye to hateful ning Telegraph. “All couples in Scotland in homophobic rhetoric and violence, Russian a loving relationship must know that they authorities are sending a dangerous mes- have the same rights and responsibilities, sage as the world is about to arrive on its and regardless of their gender, the same opdoorstep for the Olympics that there is noth- portunity to get married.” ing wrong with attacks on gay people.” “We’re doing a remarkable thing today,”
Neil added during the debate, “we are saying on behalf of Scotland to the world, loud and clear, that we believe in recognizing love between same sex couples as we do between opposite sex couples.” The Green Party’s Patrick Harvie, an openly Bisexual member of parliament, replied to the doomsday scenarios offered up by the religious opponents of the measure by explaining the “real” consequences of the bill. “Some couples who love each other will get married,” he said. “Some confetti will be thrown, some cake will be eaten, occasionally an aunty will use the excuse to buy a new hat. And with a little bit of luck some of these people might live happily ever after.” To placate religious opponents, the legislation includes a religious “opt-in” clause – essentially the reverse of the American “religious exemption.” In Scotland church-
... the country’s first same-sex weddings could begin this fall, “October at the earliest.” es must specifically state that they will perform same-sex marriages. Individual clergy who decide to go against their denomination’s wishes and perform same-sex marriages will be protected by law, however. So far, the Quakers, who campaigned vigorously for the marriage bill, are the largest denomination to say they will perform marriage ceremonies for Gay and Lesbian couples. Other religious groups who backed the legislation include Unitarians, Buddhists, and pagans. A report commissioned by the Church of England, which opposed both the British and Scottish bills, recommended that its priests be allowed to “bless” same-sex couples, but not marry them. Another provision of the law establishes “belief ceremonies,” such as humanist ceremonies as a “third form of marriage,” alongside religious and civil events. A key provision of the bill allows Transgender people to stay married to their cisgender partners after they obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate, the document officially changing their gender. They would previously have had to divorce.
LGBT rights groups in Northern Ireland are threatening to sue the government for marriage rights. After Scotland passed its marriage equality bill on February 4, Northern Ireland is the only part of the United Kingdom without marriage equality. The British parliament legalized Gay and Lesbian marriages in England and Wales last July and the first ceremonies are scheduled for March 29. John O’Doherty, director of The Rainbow Project in Belfast and chair of Equal Marriage Northern Ireland, told the British newspaper Gay Star News that he applauded Scotland’s parliament for voting in favor of equality. “But it’s very frustrating when you consider Northern Ireland had the first ever civil partnership,” he said. The independent Republic of Ireland is likely to legalize same-sex marriage in the
next three years, in spite of being an overwhelmingly Roman Catholic country. “We will be the only country of these islands to still ban equal marriage,” O’Doherty lamented. LGBT rights activists believe their best opportunity to win marriage rights is through a lawsuit, O’Doherty explained. “The reality in Northern Ireland is that we have to rely on the courts on LGBT issues,” he said. “Examples of this in recent times are rights of same-sex couples and unmarried couples to apply to adopt and the MSM blood ban both of which were ruled as discriminatory by the courts in Northern Ireland.” In December last year, the British Supreme Court ruled that Northern Ireland’s ban on same-sex couples adopting children was discriminatory. O’Doherty added that it would be almost impossible to win marriage rights through legislative means.
16 Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
by Mike Andrew SGN Staff Writer
DOM0803
Northern Ireland LGBT groups to sue for marriage
Northern Ireland Stormont Parliamentary Building
If activists tried to work through Stormont, Northern Ireland’s parliament, they would have to use a process known as a “Petition of Concern” because the fragile coalition that governs Northern Ireland is not able to put forward controversial legislation. That means that at least 30 members of parliament would have to sign on to a petition expressing concern for equal marriage rights. Then, the measure would have to win 60% support in parliament as a whole, including 40% of both nationalists and unionists, the two factions who make up the coalition government. The Democratic Unionist Party (DUP), a
Presbyterian fundamentalist party, is vehemently opposed to equal marriage and has never supported any LGBT equality measure. They have opposed civil partnerships and even hate crime legislation. As long as the DUP has its current 38 members of parliament, they are able to bring forward a petition of concern on any issue they choose, and to block one on any issue. DUP currently makes up 35% of the assembly on their own and 67% of the unionist faction. Without the support of the DUP, therefore, an equal marriage bill will never pass Northern Ireland‘s parliament.
Celebrating 41 Years!
Visit us online www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News 17
continued from page 7 happens to be a straight, white male. So police sprang into action; offering results that would never happen in poorer neighborhoods. Four people believed to be connected to the drugs found in Hoffman’s apartment were arrested late Tuesday night. During the raid that led to the arrest of the three men and one woman, police recovered 350 small plastic bags of what is believed to be heroin. The bags of alleged heroin were branded “black list” and “red bull” – not the same brands found in Hoffman’s apartment. CNN identified the suspects being investigated in connection with drugs sold to Hoffman as Juliana Luchkiw, 22; Max Rosenblum, 22; Robert Vineberg, 57; and Thomas Cushman, 48. Luchkiw and Rosenblum were charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance in the seventh degree, misdemeanors, while Vineberg was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance in the third degree, a felony. All three of their attorneys entered pleas of not guilty Wednesday. Vineberg was found to have the actor’s phone number stored in his cell phone and police discovered the largest amount of what is believed to be heroin in his apartment. Vineberg’s attorney said that he hopes prosecutors will not use his client as a scapegoat. Luchkiw’s attorney says his client was simply in the “wrong place at (the) wrong time.” The Manhattan District Attorney’s Office declined to prosecute Cushman because there was no evidence he had any control over the drugs. SOCIAL STIGMA: CRACK VS. METH VS. HEROIN Hoffman is the second high-profile actor whose recent death has been linked to the class A drug. Cory Monteith, 31-year-old star of hit TV series Glee, died of an accidental heroin and alcohol overdose in a Vancouver, B.C. hotel room last July. The difference between the way the two actor’s deaths are reported on in the media and treated by investigators is not at all how your typical crystal queen or crack or base head are treated – or mistreated as it were. In the case of both Hoffman and Monteith, the men were greatly mourned and the question is asked, “What went wrong?” or “How could this happen to them?” The answer is simple: The same way it happens to thousands found dead and friendless, also with needles in their arms. But in the case of affluent famous people, that’s not good enough. We look at them as “responsible users” and if something goes wrong we mourn the tragedy. Offices, schools, hospitals, and prisons are packed
al pot-smoking and cocaine use are tolerated, crack is often considered to be on a different level. It is known as a “hard” drug, like heroin. Many people think that crack is such a hard drug that using it once could cause a user to act recklessly, even dangerously, become addicted, or die. However, most of the claims about crack cocaine’s potential for destruction have proven exaggerated or flat-out false. Despite racialized images of crack users, data from National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) reveals that people reporting cocaine use in 1991 were 75% white, 15% black, and 10% hispanic. People who admitted to using crack were 52% white, 38% black, and 10% Hispanic. It is also true to say that whites have a long-standing trend to use drugs at rates higher than blacks. Still, in 2009, the U.S. Sentencing Commission released data showing no drug matches crack in terms of racially biased convictions. According to the data, 79% of 5,669 sentenced crack offenders were black, 10% were Hispanic, and only 10% were white. Actor Russell Brand, a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, said it best in a piece he wrote for The Guardian, “Whilst routinely described as tragic, Hoffman’s death is insufficiently sad to be left un-supplemented in the mandatory posthumous scramble for salacious garnish; we will now be subjected to mourn-ography posing as analysis. I can assure you that there is no as yet undiscovered riddle in his domestic life or sex life, the man was a drug addict and his death inevitable.” “Addiction is a mental illness around which there is a great deal of confusion, which is hugely exacerbated by the laws that criminalize drug addicts,” Brand wrote in commentary about Hoffman’s death for the Guardian. “If drugs are illegal people who use drugs are criminals. We have set our moral compass on this erroneous premise, and we have strayed so far off course that the landscape we now inhabit provides us with no solutions and greatly increases the problem.” “This is an important moment in history; we know that prohibition does not work,” he said. “We know that the people who devise drug laws are out of touch and have no idea how to reach a solution. Do they even have the inclination? The fact is, their methods are so gallingly ineffective that it is difficult not to deduce that they are deliberately creating the worst imaginable circumstances to maximise the harm caused by substance misuse.” According to the actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death is a reminder that addiction is indiscriminate. That it is sad, irrational and hard to understand. What it also clearly demonstrates is that we are a culture that does not know how to treat its addicts. “Would Hoffman have died if this disease were not so enmeshed in stigma? If we weren’t invited to believe that people who suffer from addiction deserve to suffer? Would he
Feng Yu
HEROIN
wake of Hoffman’s suspected overdose. U.S. heroin-overdose deaths rose by 45 percent from 2006 to 2010, and the amount of heroin seized each year on the Mexican border was up nearly four times from 2008 to 2012. In addition, first time users are younger than they were years ago and it’s not in the cities anymore, it’s gone into rural areas, into suburbia. New York once had a reputation as the heroin capital of the United States in the 1970s and 1980s. Indelibly tied to the spread of HIV in the 1980s, use of heroin became a taboo as certain death and for its potent addictiveness. But the DEA says that is changing because of production in Mexico, increased smuggling and users increasingly addicted to prescription opiates then swapping to cheaper heroin. The National Survey on Drug Use and Health said last September that the number of Americans who had used heroin in the past year had risen from 373,000 in 2007 to 669,000 in 2012. The National Institute of Drug Abuse says 4.2 million Americans have tried heroin at least once during their lives, and 23 percent of individuals who use heroin become dependent. Police have also impounded more and more caches. According to Huffington Post, in New York only last week 13 kilos (33 pounds) of heroin worth $8 million were seized in the Bronx and also impounded were hundreds of thousands of glassine bags stamped with brand names such as “NFL,” “iPhone” or “government shutdown.” HOW HEROIN WORKS AND WHY YOU DIE Drug overdose deaths in the United States have risen steadily since 1970. Painkillers actually kill more Americans than heroin and cocaine combined, according to the Centers for Disease Control, but heroin is still one of the No. 1 killers of illegal drug users. Heroin can be smoked, snorted or eaten.
“If drugs are illegal people who use drugs are criminals. We have set our moral compass on this erroneous premise, and we have strayed so far off course that the landscape we now inhabit provides us with no solutions and greatly increases the problem.” with illegal drug use. Proving that their illegality is no deterrent; if everyone who was using or at the most, addicted, were to be arrested the courts could not handle proper enforcement and the prisons would be too small to house the “criminals.” In both Hoffman’s and Monteith’s cases their friends knew that they were drug addicts. The police likely would have done nothing had they known, however – the spoils of the spoiled. It is no secret that crystal meth is still prevalent in Gay male society. What once used to be consumed out in the open is now taboo. Nobody talks about it much anymore and so it has been driven into the shadows where “they” can do as much as they want as long as “we” aren’t bothered by it. Crack cocaine carries a stigma. While casu-
have OD’d if drugs were regulated, controlled and professionally administered,” Brand asks. “Most importantly, if we insisted as a society that what is required for people who suffer from this condition is an environment of support, tolerance and understanding.” “The troubling message behind Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death, which we all feel without articulating, is that it was unnecessary and we know that something could be done,” says Brand. “We also know what that something is and yet, for some traditional, prejudicial, stupid reason we don’t do it.”
18 Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
HOFFMAN’S DEATH HIGHLIGHTS RENEWED INTEREST IN HEROIN “Heroin is a growing epidemic,” U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) spokesman Joseph Moses told media in the
However, smoking or eating destroys some of the drug and mutes its effects. Because of that, heroin is most often mixed with water and injected. Injecting heroin minimizes the time between when the drug is taken and effects are felt. According to the Centers for Disease Control, the effects of heroin are almost immediate when a user injects the drug. When someone takes heroin there is an immediate rush, followed by their body feeling an extreme form of relaxation and a decreased sense of pain. Inside the body, the heroin turns into morphine. Morphine has a chemical structure similar to endorphins, which are the chemicals your brain makes when you feel stressed out or are in pain. Endorphins inhibit your neurons from firing, so they halt pain and create a good feeling.
Morphine, acting like your endorphins, binds to molecules in your brain called opioid receptors. When those receptors are blocked, that creates a high. Most people die from heroin overdoses when their bodies forget to breathe. When you are sleeping, your body naturally remembers to breathe. In the case of a heroin overdose, you fall asleep and essentially your body forgets. A heroin overdose can also cause your blood pressure to dip significantly and cause your heart to fail. Studies show intravenous heroin users are 300 times more likely to die from infectious endocarditis, an infection of the surface of the heart. Heroin use can also cause an arrhythmia – a problem with the rate or rhythm of the heartbeat. Heroin use can also cause pulmonary edema. That’s when the heart can’t pump blood to the body well. Studies suggest instantaneous death, like what may have happened in Hoffman’s case, is unusual. Such deaths, where a needle and syringe are still in place, would be considered instant by scientists. One study showed this accounts for only 14% of heroin-related deaths. There are some common social characteristics in heroin deaths that make Hoffman a typical case. Most fatalities involve men; those who have struggled with other drugs or alcohol and other drugs or alcohol are often present. While many are single, most users die in their homes or in the company of another person. As one would imagine, an addict has a much higher chance of dying if they leave treatment, and the risk of death is higher for newly clean heroin addicts. In a particularly puzzling find, longterm users who die from overdoses are likely to have heroin levels no higher than those who survive. Statistics suggest that newer heroin users aren’t the ones most likely to die. One study showed only 17% of the deaths studied were in new heroin users. However, newer users can overdose because they don’t know how much drug to take, compared to experienced users. A person’s chances of dying from heroin use increase dramatically after 20 years of use. Studies show that after 30 years of use, 16% of heroin users have died, compared with 6.5% of cocaine users and 1.5% of meth users. Hoffman spoke to 60 Minutes in 2006 about going into rehab after being addicted to a variety of substances in his 20s. Last year, after being sober for 23 years, he entered rehab again after relapsing with pills and heroin. Drugs are an equal opportunity killer. Rob Lowe, in a tweet this week about Hoffman’s death put it brilliantly, saying, “addiction is a disease and not a lifestyle choice, and further emphasize the dangers related to any level of drug use.” “You are not smarter than your drug,” tweeted Lowe, who opened up about going to rehab in his 2011 book Stories, I Only Tell My Friends. “Or more knowledgeable, power, anger or anything else. Addiction is an equal opportunity killer.”
Celebrating 41 Years!
health and medicine
Kiki with D Confused in Everett
Dear D, Hi there! I met a guy roughly two years ago online and we eventually went out and continued seeing each. We did have sex early on, but after not knowing our status for six months, I cut that part out, but he is still around. I don’t understand why, because I’m not his girlfriend or anything, but I’m pretty sure I’m just an option for him. He’ll stand me up and no calls, no nothing. Then months later, he’ll return. I really don’t get the reason he keeps coming back, if sexual stuff isn’t involved. Recently, I saw him and I asked if he was happy being single and if anything with us will ever happen. He answered that he gets freaked out when he starts to get attached. I haven’t heard from him since (oops), but I have no doubt that he will be back. My question is, why does he come back if he doesn’t want a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship and if there isn’t sex involved? Also, how do I not freak him out about the relationship stuff when he returns? I want him to feel comfortable talking to me, but also I want more with him relationship-wise, and I don’t know how to let that be known without scaring him to death. –Confused in Everett
Dear Confused in Everett, He keeps you around because he likes to have a bullpen. He probably has a number of you waiting in the wings – some for sex, some for comfort, and some with potential for more. You can either cut him off or be honest with him and accept that you might freak him out. Next time you hear from him, tell him, “I’ve thought about what you said, but I’m interesting in dating and maybe having a partner. If we can’t date and enjoy ourselves, this isn’t worth my time.” You’ve done a lot of worrying about his motivation and comfort level. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Stop worrying so much about him and start worrying more about yourself. Make a list of what you want from a guy and ditch the suitors who can’t meet your needs. Your letter doesn’t explain why this man is such a prize. Something tells me he isn’t. I would have recommended thinking about maintain a friendship, but I don’t think that’s wise. Things are complicated enough without blurring the lines any further. At this point I think it’s best to keep things simple. Hope this helps. Remember be true to you, love yourself, encourage yourself and others. –D
Legal Services MARTIN SJOLIE Over 20 Years Experience
Last Will, Power of Attorney & Health Care Directive (Living Will)
$500.00/Person or $750.00/Couple for complete, personalized services.
(206) 841–1373 www.sjolielaw.com
Auto accidents, DUI, Small business needs.
www.sgn.org 206-395-2004
1411 4th Ave. #1130 Seattle, WA 98101
Visit us online www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News 19
Religion & Spirituality A Church for All God’s People – since 1972 www.mccseattle.org Sunday Worship 11:00 am 1415 NE 43rd St. on U-District (206) 325-2421
Hot
www.sgn.org Use this coupon for
MAMA’S $2.00 off any size pizza PIZZA
700 East Pine St., Seattle
HOMEMADE
The Best Piece In Town! HAND TOSSED Not valid for delivery.
FREE DELIVERY • 206-322-6444
Health and Personal Services SPECIALTIES LGBT Issues Couples Counseling Depression Anger Management Domestic Violence Grief and Loss HIV/AIDS
Gary Sarozek, MA, LMHC 1370 Stewart Street (Across from REI) Seattle WA, 98109
206-619-4187 gsarozek@comcast.net www.garysarozek.com
Que Areste, N.D. Naturopathic Family Physician
206.328.2926 drque@speakeasy.net 1605 12th Avenue, Suite 16 • Seattle, WA 98122
www.sgn.org Rich Full-Bodied Cafes Savory Homestyle Soups & Sandwiches
20 Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
Celebrating 41 Years!
Home & Specialized Services
Gary D. TorGerson Co. Expert Painting and Repairs Rot Repair: siding, doors, windows, porches and decks.
www.sgn.org
Lead-Safe Certified
See photographs of our work at www.TorgersonCompany.com Email: info@torgersoncompany.com Contractor Registration #: GARYDTC134CJ Phone: 206-781-0999
Visit us online www.sgn.org
www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News 21
22 Seattle Gay News
February 7, 2014
Celebrating 41 Years!
MoSS Alley MotorS, Inc. SpecialiStS in VolVo, Honda, toyota and Subaru
932 12th ave. Seattle, Wa 98122 (206).325--.3992 www.mossalley.com Seattle’s most progressive auto shop!
Visit us online www.sgn.org
February 7, 2014
Seattle Gay News 23