PYC Toilet Learning A Guide for Families “You can lead a toddler to the toilet, but you can’t make them pee.” In PYC, we see toilet learning the way we see every part of a young child’s growth: as learning, not simply a task to get through. You may notice we say “toilet learning” rather than “toilet training.” Training is something done to a child; learning is something a child does — with our encouragement, our patience, and our confidence in them. This reflects our Reggio Emilia–informed image of the child as capable and curious. Like the motor and self-help skills we plan for intentionally, toileting is a developmental skill we observe, document, and celebrate and we encourage you to do the same at home.
Signs of Readiness There is no right or wrong age to learn to use the toilet — it is as individual as learning to walk. No two children learn in the same time frame or the same way. If your child shows most of the signs below, they are probably ready to begin:
☐ Seems emotionally ready and open to learning ☐ Tells you they have a wet or soiled diaper — or tells you while it's happening (noticing the sensation is a big step!)
☐ Initiates using the toilet or asks to wear underwear — a sign of growing independence ☐ Pulls pants and underwear down and back up without help
☐ Tells you they need to go before it happens
☐ Gets on and off the toilet by themself
☐ Stays dry for at least two hours during the day
☐ Follows two- to three-step directions (essential for the whole sequence: pants down, wipe, flush, wash hands)
☐ Wakes up dry after rest time ☐ Has bowel movements at fairly regular times
☐ Can wait a moment to use the toilet when needed — for example, if the bathroom is occupied or the class is outside.
Toilet learning should be a positive experience for everyone. It usually takes only a short time when a child is truly ready. Starting too soon can actually delay the process and cause frustration. If your child doesn’t yet show most of these signs — or reacts negatively — waiting a few weeks or months is the kindest and most effective choice.
Our Toilet Learning Policy A child is considered fully toilet trained when they can pee and poop on the toilet and manage their own hygiene. Teachers guide children through wiping and re-dressing rather than doing these steps for them — doing them independently is an essential part of being fully toilet trained at school. Our expectations differ by grade level and the information here is designed to help families understand the distinction and progression through PYC. In the Twos, children may attend in diapers or pull-ups while toilet learning unfolds — it's part of the curriculum. In Preschool and Prekindergarten, and Preschool/Prekindergarten Aftercare, children must be fully toilet trained to attend, though the school will work with Preschool families if a child is approaching/working towards full toilet training at the start of the school year. The sections below explain expectations and guidelines at each grade. Prek children must be fully toilet trained to attend. The sections below explain each.
Twos How we support toilet learning at school: Toileting is woven into the rhythm of our day, never a separate battle. Learning begins at home, where you can give your child focused, unhurried time; from there, home and school carry it forward together. Teachers will support your child once signs of readiness have been observed both at home and in the classroom. Open communication with your child’s teacher is essential so that all adults can support your child to make this a positive experience. Starting at Home: Toilet learning should begin at home with the child’s parent or caregiver, and at a time when there are not a lot of changes in the child’s life. Twos teachers will assist your child in becoming toilet trained once the signs of readiness–as outlined above document are, or have been, observed by the parents/guardians at home. Experience has shown us that a child’s interest and readiness, along with clear communication with families and teachers, are instrumental to positive and successful toilet-training. When your child has been accident-free at home for 14 days, they may attend school in underwear on a trial basis. Please tell the classroom teachers each morning that your child is in underwear (not a diaper or pull-up) so there are no surprises. After five school days in underwear, teachers will provide an update to families.
At School: Teachers remind children to use the toilet at natural points in the day — around snack, outside time, lunch, and rest. We narrate and encourage each small step (noticing wetness, pausing play, pulling up pants, washing hands) as the real accomplishments they are, and we document progress just as we would any other learning. Reminders for a newly trained child are offered a bit more often, but not on a set schedule — so your child needs to be able to tell teachers they need to go without an adult prompt.
What We Ask of Families During toilet learning, please help us by following these guidelines:
• Dress your child in loose, easy clothing they can pull up and down. Please avoid overalls, jumpsuits, long trailing dresses, belts, suspenders, and snaps between the legs. • Keep two full changes of clothing (including socks) at school each day, plus an extra pair of shoes if possible. • Let teachers know if your child will sit or stand. We recommend children first learn to sit; standing can follow once they’re consistent. • Children wear a diaper or pull-up at rest time until they’ve shown rest-time dryness for at least five days. If you prefer pull-ups, please supply them (pull-ups must have re-closable sides). • If your child has two accidents in one day (including Aftercare), teachers will put them in a diaper or pullup for the duration of the day and contact the parent to discuss the next step. • If more than two accidents occur in five school days (including at Aftercare), your child’s teacher and/or the Program Head will reach out to plan next steps together, which may mean returning to a pull-up or allowing another five days of practice. • Soiled clothing will be sent home the same day — teachers do not rinse or wash it. Please return a clean set the next day.
A word about setbacks Patience matters. Setbacks are common and expected — not a failure, but a natural step toward progress. A newly trained child may have one to three accidents in that first week at school as they learn the routine, and we’ll work right alongside them. If accidents continue for more than a week, it’s a sign they aren’t quite ready for underwear at school yet, and that’s perfectly okay. Remember: children often show readiness and success at home before those signs appear at school. Clear, ongoing communication between home and school is what makes toilet learning positive and successful.
Our Toilet Policy — Preschool, Prekindergarten Children should be fully toilet trained (as defined above) to attend Preschool, Prekindergarten, and the Aftercare Program due to facility and staffing limitations. That said, we recognize that toileting learning is a developmental process and there may be some children who have not fully learned to regulate their toileting habits. In taking a holistic approach to this part of development, we will work with families when a child is continuing to develop toilet learning skills at the start of the Preschool year. Should your child not be fully toilet trained for the start of Preschool, please be in touch with Lisa Wells to determine how the school can best support your child in this developmental process. We know that with encouragement and partnership between home and school, most young children are successful with toileting in Preschool and beyond, and research affirms that warm consistency between home and school is the strongest predictor of a smooth journey. When Accidents Happen Occasional accidents are a normal part of learning. Our goal is for every child to feel happy, comfortable, and confident throughout the day. Families are asked to keep a stock of extra clothing at school; we'll send soiled garments home in a plastic bag with a reminder to replenish. We'll call or email if your child becomes overly upset about an accident or has more than one in a day, and we'll work together to learn what works at home, staying consistent at school, offering gentle reminders, and making frequent bathroom stops, especially in the first month of school. If Accidents Become Frequent Typically, if a child has a third accident within five school days, or a fourth within ten school days (including at Aftercare), we'll ask the family to keep the child home for a short time to practice and consolidate the learning before returning to accident-free school days. This pause is a normal part of the process; it is a temporary step back to a more comfortable place, never a failure. Your child's teacher, along with the Head of the Program for Young Children, will work with you to create a supportive plan and timeline for return. Throughout, we want each child to feel safe, comfortable, and confident, and to experience a learning process that builds confidence and alleviates stress for both child and family. Accommodations Consistent with the Americans with Disabilities Act and other applicable laws, St. Anne's School shall provide reasonable modifications to this policy for children with disabilities that impact their ability to be toilet trained. Families with questions about this policy should contact Lisa Wells, Head of the Program for Young Children.
Helpful Resources • zerotothree.org • healthychildren.org