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COMPLIMENTARY

AUGUST 2020

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LEARNING HOW TO PLAN FOR A SUCCESSFUL SCHOOL YEAR

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MATTERS CO-PARENTING DURING CORONAVIRUS

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SHOULD YOU READ YOUR CHILDâ€™S TEXTS?

2020-21

Matthew, who had shoulder injuries

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contents

AUGUST 2020

departments

SOUTH FLORIDA SPOTLIGHT Staying in touch with the people, places and events in our community.

FAMILY MATTERS Coronavirus creates added pressure when it comes to co-parenting.

HOME TECH Should you read your childâ€™s texts?

WORDS OF WISDOM Being a stay-at-home mom is an around-the-clock job.

features

LESSONS IN LEARNING

SMART CHOICES

How to plan for a successful school year.

Our annual special section helps you find the local schools, activities and educational programs that are just right for you and your children.

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Youâ€™ll both feel safe in our care.

Our integrated maternity program is designed to take care of you and your baby before, during, and even after your pregnancy. Committed to following your birth plan, but ready with one of the most advanced newborn ICU programs in the country should your baby ever need it. Stay at one of our spa-like Little Miracles maternity suites. Let us focus on your every need, so you can simply focus on your little one. We are proud to be designated a Baby-Friendly Hospital for giving mothers the skills and support needed to feed and bond with their child. Jackson Memorial Hospital Jackson North Medical Center Jackson South Medical Center Designated 2017 â€“ 2022

For a tour or to find a physician, call 305-585-4MOM or visit JacksonMaternity.org.

Broward County Library invites you to... Our mission is to enrich family life in South Florida by offering the highest quality publication and an unparalleled commitment to our readers and our community. PUBLISHER Lisa Goodlin

This summer, Broward County Library has lots of virtual events and fun things to do all summer long!

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Stacey Jacques EXECUTIVE EDITOR Michelle Liem ASSISTANT EDITOR Shannon Pease-Severance DIGITAL & SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Jennifer Jhon STAFF WRITER Greg Carannante

Broward.org/Library/Summer

SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGERS Suzy Miguelez • Sheila Ranson Rick Charnack CREATIVE DIRECTOR Carrie B. Weeks PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Toni Kirkland • Linda Seavey DIGITAL DEVELOPMENT MANAGER Tom Gonzales CONTACT US: 4611 S. University Drive, #224 Davie, FL 33328 Phone (954) 424-7405 info@familylifemediagroup.com

For information on where to find South Florida Family Life, or to become a distributor, call 954-424-7405 or e-mail info@familylifemediagroup.com Comments and suggestions are welcome.

South Florida Family Life is published twelve times per year by Family Life Media Group. It is distributed free of charge throughout South Florida. South Florida Family Life is not responsible for statements made by advertisers or writers. We make every effort to ensure the accuracy of information we print, but cannot be held responsible for any consequences arising from omissions or errors. All photography and letters sent to South Florida Family Life will be treated unconditionally, assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to unrestricted right to edit and comment editorially. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is forbidden.

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SOUTH FLORIDA spotlight

Academic options POD POPULARITY SOARS AS PARENTS SEEK SCHOOLING SOLUTIONS

ith the start of school looming in South Florida, parents are scrambling to find solutions to their distance-learning dilemmas. Micro schooling and “pandemic pods” have grabbed headlines as families band together to find structured learning alternatives for their children. Lara Behrmann, a teacher and owner of Get That Grade Tutoring, has been working outside of traditional schools for years. “I’ve worked with two homeschool co-ops over the last five years, smaller groups, and then I’ve worked with a couple bigger, 40-kid micro schools. I do a lot of online and virtual schooling because we support a lot of junior tennis players.” But she’s never seen anything like the current environment. “It’s been very eye-opening. Since July 10, I’ve had over 600 phone calls. … I have over 400 kids signed up with my company for this coming school year.” Summyr Siegel, a former elementary teacher, said she started seeing social media posts as soon as schools announced they would be 100 percent virtual in the fall. “The posts started coming in: I need to find a teacher to help me during the day, I need to find a place for the kids,” she said. “So I started the Facebook group.” Her group, Matching Students with Teachers - Broward, has almost 2,500 members and pages of posts from desperate parents. “The Number 1 thing that I hear most often is that there’s no time to do this, there’s people who work,” Siegel said. “It’s heart wrenching, the amount of people who you can see their frustration in their posts that

they make on Facebook. Some I know personally, so it’s even harder to hear their struggle.” Even if parents have time to teach their children, the dynamic doesn’t usually work, Behrmann said. “The connection that you need to be a teacher, as opposed to a parent, are just such different wavelengths.” She doesn’t teach her own 4-year-old, but swaps with other teachers. “They call me like, ‘Argh, I don’t know what to do. I can’t get so-and-so to work.’ And I’m like, ‘Let’s trade. I’ll work with your child, and you work with mine.’ ” Behrmann said for most parents, it’s almost impossible to teach your own child, and that dynamic is putting a huge amount of pressure on families. “All these parents are now suddenly being asked to facilitate their children’s school when usually they have to fight with their kids to do an hour worth of homework a day, and now they’ll have to fight with their kids to keep them in school. It’s going to damage relationships.” Tutoring can solve that problem, but it is expensive, so many families are forming pods with 4-6 children to reduce

costs. Behrmann said the pods range from homeschooling with a personalized curriculum to umbrella schools (with a teacher teaching provided curriculum) to e-learning with district schools. Pods can reduce costs to about $10-$25 per child per hour, depending on the structure and level of instruction provided. May Silvers, a mother in Cooper City, recently formed a kindergarten pod with parents of three other students. None of the students adapted well to distance learning this spring. “It’s very difficult. They are so small. There’s no way we can have their attention span for more than 15 minutes,” she said, “and our kids need social interaction.” The pod is hiring a teacher for instruction at the chosen family home from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday to Friday. But it has been a challenge, she said, to “find the right parent and the right child and the right teacher and the right home.” Using social media, Silvers found several others in the same neighborhood. The fourth family lives about 20 minutes away. “The host mom is Type A and very, continued on page 11

SOUTH FLORIDA spotlight

Be an SOB MARKETING CAMPAIGN BOOSTS LOCAL BUSINESSES

hop like an SOB. Volunteer like an SOB. Work like an SOB. We know what you might be thinking, but the new kind of SOB (a.k.a. Supporter of Broward), puts a positive spin on the acronym. Being a Supporter of Broward means making a lasting impact on neighborhood businesses, families and community through local support. In addition to inspiring individuals, the campaign also encourages companies and organizations to consider rerouting their spending and contributions to Broward businesses ranging from retailers and restaurants to attractions and hotels. For business owners, it’s about creating awareness of new pandemic policies and garnering patrons. The campaign has made it easy for businesses to participate by posting downloadable SOB promotional material online at www.proudsob.com. Options include art for logos, banners, signs, coasters, napkins, floor stickers and posters reminding patrons to “Wash Like an SOB” and “Wait Here Like an SOB.” Supporters can also find fun stuff like Snapchat filters and Instagram images on the website to become a self-proclaimed SOB on social media channels.

The campaign, made possible with the help of the creative team from Zimmerman Advertising, is a special project of Six Pillars Broward, a community-wide initiative of the Greater Fort Lauderdale Alliance and its 501C3 Alliance Foundation.

SINGING OUT A MESSAGE OF LOVE The Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital Children with Special Needs Family Resource Fair is going virtual this year, and organizers hope to make it sing with a special virtual choir. Children with special needs, as well as Memorial Health employees, are invited to chime in on the musical project, which will air during the two-hour online event scheduled from 10 a.m. to noon on Oct. 3. The resource fair theme is “Make the World A Better Place,” said Trent Barrick, a neurologic music therapist with Memorial Regional Hospital South and Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital. “So from that theme, I kept hearing this song in my head.” The song is “Put A Little Love in Your Heart,” by Al Green and Annie Lennox in the key of F. The organizers decided it would be really cool to get kids with special needs involved with singing the song “so kids watching from home can see someone who is familiar, someone who looks like them, someone who has the same condition,” Barrick said.

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The project will empower those children not only to participate but will also show them what they can do in the future, he said. “This is something they can be doing or incorporated into.” The team also reached out to Memorial Health employees. “We wanted to include staff as well to help remind them that the world is becoming a better place thanks to them” and the work they are doing, Barrick said. “We’re dealing with a lot of burnout, so it’s a way to boost morale, to remind them: We’re doing it. We’re doing a good job. We’re going to make it.” Barrick’s previous project creating a virtual choir included more than 40 staff members. This time, he’s looking for more singers, “50-100 kids and staff combined. I think that would make for an incredible choir.” Singers are encouraged to practice with a karaoke version of the song

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(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytSa6-r44Yg) before they record their singing. They should wear comfortable, bright clothing and make sure their faces are well-lit, and they should sing along to the track using ear buds or headphones so only the sound of their voice can be heard. Please contact Barrick at tbarrick@mhs.net if you have questions or need more direction. All videos are due to trent@nmtworks.com by Friday, Aug. 28. Barrick encouraged singers to smile, be themselves and have fun with the song. They should stick as close to the directions as possible, he said, so their video is usable. Other than that, he said, “be as creative as you want to be. You can include your dog, your family members, grab your favorite toy … however you want to be seen. We want to include you, we want to have you.”

ACADEMIC OPTIONS, continued from page 8

very detailed, so we trust her,” Silvers said. They will be touring the house and setting up meetings with the moms, dads and students, as well as interviewing the teacher together. “I’m sure there are going to be a lot more things that come, things we don’t know that we don’t know,” Silvers said. “But we have to go in with an open mind and trust and go with the flow and put our children first.” Pods offer a lot of flexibility. In Silvers’ pod, the teacher will be teaching a homeschool curriculum that all of the students will follow, although one student is staying enrolled in a Broward elementary school and two others are enrolled in Florida Virtual School Flex. Another option is enrolling students in a drop-off program designed to monitor and care for kids as they attend classes online. Many such programs are being offered by tutoring centers and aftercare facilities, such as martial arts studios and gymnasiums. Behrmann is also considering this option. “I’m looking at opening a center in Coral Springs because I have about 15 different people who aren’t comfortable dropping their children at somebody else’s house, but at the same time need someplace to drop their kid.” Any education solution with outside instruction or supervision will have a cost, and many parents can’t afford to hire a teacher to come to their house or send their children out to facilitate e-learning. “It’s definitely going to create a very big divide educationally,” Siegel said. “There will be children who are getting nothing, and it isn’t because their parents don’t want to do that, it’s because they can’t.” She suggested parents look for help through resources such as Boys and Girls Clubs, libraries, community scholarships and free online programs. Behrmann has created a program to help, called Teach It Forward. “I have a lot of high school and college students who are going to be doing virtual tutoring for free. It will be virtual, it will be extra support.” She said she is setting up the free resource because “at this point in time, for me, it’s more about helping the community and making sure that the kids do actually get the support and help that they need.”

SUMMER TO SCHOOL VIRTUAL SERIES

Notebooks? Check. Vaccines? Check. Sports equipment? Check. Join us in August for our Summer to School Series as we provide parents with sports-related, social distancing safety tips, along with expert advice on how to prevent sports injuries and a walkthrough of the items they need on their back-to-school health checklist. Dates: August 6 and August 20 Time: 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. Visit www.JacksonEvents.org for more information.

August 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 11 BSP Job #: JHSO-20-i072_SummerToSchoolPrintAd_4.5x9.75 GU

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A R O F N A L P O T HOW SFUL SCHOOL YEAR SUCCES

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HOMEWORK HELP TIPS TO EASE FRUSTRATION & BOOST FOCUS By Chr is ta Me lny k Hi n e s

y the time Meira Mednick’s daughter was in third grade, homework time had morphed into lengthy, embattled evenings fraught with angry tears as frustrated daughter and frazzled mom squared off. “My daughter began showing signs of difficulty in focus on homework in kindergarten. By second grade we were drowning,” Mednick says. Mednick tried tactics like feeding her first grader an early dinner as soon as she got home from school and giving her time to relax before starting homework. Instead, “We ended up spending the next two years in a tug of war of time, and many tears were shed,” she says.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD’S LEARNING STYLE By Tanni Haas

Many parents can relate and dread the contentious homework hour, which can plunder an otherwise peaceful evening. For kiddos, who struggle to tune out distractions and concentrate on the task at hand, sitting down to do homework doesn’t rank high on their list of priorities. Thanks to the distractions of technology, the inability to focus is a growing problem in our culture. The number of children who are diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) also continues to rise. The Centers for Disease Control reports that ADHD is “one of the most common chronic conditions of childhood.” Experts agree: the ability to focus is crucial to achieving goals. How can we create a more calming homework atmosphere that will enhance our child’s ability to concentrate and get the job done quickly—without the draining drama? WORK IN SHORT BURSTS. Kids get overwhelmed with long worksheets and multiple assignments. Break homework into timed chunks. After a busy day at school, parents can typically expect their youngsters to focus on a task for one minute for each year of their age. That means a six-year-old should be given a two- or three-minute break every six minutes. “Expecting 30 minutes of homework out of a first grader isn’t realistic without breaks,” says Rachel Rudman, a pediatric occupational therapist. The timed approach made a big difference for Mednick’s daughter. “Previously she would be discouraged even before picking up a pencil. By having a timed environment, she knew that she could tackle one interval at a time,” says Mednick, whose daughter is now an 8th grade honors student. CREATE SMART BRAIN BREAKS. During the timed breaks engage your child in short activities that help reorganize and refocus the brain, like jumping jacks, playing with Legos or Playdoh, or snacking on crunchy carrots or pretzel rods or something chewy such as fruit leather. Blowing up a balloon can also help ease frustrations. “Blowing forces the child to take deep breaths which increases relaxation and focus,” Rudman says. Avoid electronics, which can be harder to pull a child away from. STRIKE A POSE. Yoga stretches and breathing exercises can calm and re-energize a tired body. Balancing poses like bird or airplane, and a full body twist combines breathing and concentrated stretching movements. continued on page 16

Regardless of how kids head back to school this fall, one of the top priorities as a parent, is to help them with their homework. But how do you best do that? To be sure they truly understand the material, it’s useful to know how they learn. Researchers have discovered that there are four major learning styles: visual, auditory, reading/ writing, and kinesthetic. Below are brief descriptions of each learning style and how you can tailor your homework help.

VISUAL LEARNERS How They Learn: Visual learners process new information by seeing it. A sign that your kids might be visual learners is that from a young age they lingered over illustrations in books and other visual stimuli. Another sign is that they love to draw or paint. At school, visual learners often doodle when they listen to the teacher. It helps them better understand and remember the material. How To Help With Homework: Have your kids create visual representations of the material they’re supposed to learn. This can be charts, diagrams, figures, maps, and timelines. Other useful tools include color-coded flashcards, sticky notes, and folders. If they have a hard time understanding something, show them how it’s done instead of telling them how to do it. Since visual learners often get distracted from too many visual stimuli, it’s important to keep their study space neat and clutter-free.

AUDITORY LEARNERS How They Learn: Auditory learners process new information by having it explained to them out loud or by vocalizing it themselves. A sign that your kids might be auditory learners is that they “read” books out loud to themselves, even before they learned to read properly. Another sign is that they love listening to music and singing. At school, auditory learners often hum when they do their work. How To Help With Homework: Have your kids vocalize the material they’re studying. Making up rhymes and songs will help them better remember it. Have them record themselves explaining the material, so that they can listen to the recordings whenever needed. If they have a difficult time understanding something, explain it to them orally. Since auditory learners are highly sensitive to auditory stimuli, have classical or instrumental music playing in the background when they study.

READING/WRITING LEARNERS How They Learn: Some kids process new information by reading or writing about it. A sign that your kids might be reading/writing learners is that they enjoy keeping a journal or writing creative stories. At school, reading/ writing learners are especially good at taking notes from their textbooks and from what the teachers are writing down on the blackboard.

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RISE and SHINE SECRETS OF A STRESS-FREE MORNING By Pa m M o o re

often struggle to remember where I put my sunglasses or my phone, but when it comes to details from my childhood, I have an exceptional memory. I have no recollection of seeing my mom awake before 8 a.m. She always made sure we dressed appropriately for the weather, and that our permissions slips were signed. We knew we’d eat a balanced meal (a protein, a starch, a vegetable, and a salad) at 6 p.m. every night, and we knew we were loved. We also knew not to expect to see our mom in the morning, save for a groggy, “have a good day” and the kiss we’d dash up to her bed to get before running out the door. She wasn’t sick, lazy, or addicted to anything. She was just a night owl. And, like the fact that my dad didn’t own pajamas or the fact that we ordered Chinese food on Sunday nights, I assumed this was normal until I grew up and realized it wasn’t. As a parent, I understand that while my mom’s strategy was unconventional, it was genius. Here’s why.

WE WERE RESPONSIBLE. Because my mom never woke me up, I had to figure out when to wake up in order to get to school on time and be responsible for actually getting up at that time. Since I can remember, I’ve had a penchant for determining the last possible moment I could wake up and still be punctual, including a 30-minute cushion added to the alarm to hit snooze. If I rushed to shove breakfast in my mouth, I had only myself to blame. It was up to me to remember my lunch, my homework and raincoat. We didn’t have our mom (or Alexa) to tell us what the weather was going to be. Instead, we had the daily weather memorized.

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WE AVOIDED POWER STRUGGLES. If I didn’t like the healthy cereal my mom had bought a dozen boxes of on sale with double coupons, that was my problem and mine alone. Because my mom was still peacefully slumbering, there was no point in whining about the gross cereal or refusing to eat it. For her part, my mother couldn’t disapprove of my outfit, jacket, or anything else if she wasn’t awake to see them. I was a sassy teenager and, like my mom, have never been a morning person. Had we both been awake and in the same room in the mornings before I left for high school, I suspect the crime scene investigation team would have been at our house before the bell rang for first period, most mornings.

MY BROTHER AND I FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET ALONG.

My brother is two years older than me and like normal siblings, we alternated between being partners in crime and mortal enemies. While leaving us to our own devices could have made us go all Lord of the Flies, it didn’t. In the winter, Adam set our jackets on the radiator, taking care to arrange them so the zippers wouldn’t burn our fingers before braving the New England winter en route to the bus stop. Being taller and less likely to make a mess, he always popped our waffles in the toaster and poured our milk. I honestly don’t know what I contributed, other than blithely letting him be in charge. I do know we had a system that worked. continued on page 16

Conversations about personal and digital safety may seem intimidating, but they don’t have to be scary or uncomfortable. To help, Lauren’s Kids, a South Florida nonprofit that prevents abuse and helps survivors heal, has released FREE Blueprint for Building Safer, Smarter Families Activity Packs to help teach personal safety, online safety, and abuse prevention from a place of fun – and not fear. Within the activity packs, you will find safety activities, tips and tools focused on six safety topics. Order your free Activity Pack at shop.laurenskids.org today, and check out even more age-specific strategies to help keep kids safe at SaferSmarterFamilies.org.

August 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 15

RISE AND SHINE continued from page 14

I UNDERSTOOD MY MOM HAD PRIORITIES OTHER THAN ME. From a young age, I got that my mom was up late doing important stuff, which was why she had to sleep in. My little sister was born when I was in the first grade. I remember rousing in the middle of the night and hearing my mom’s voice wafting from the nursery as she rocked and sung her back to sleep. Later, it was her hobbies that my mom attended to in the wee hours. She caned chairs, read, sewed, and did calligraphy. I don’t know that we ever discussed it, but I intuited that my mom took those late night hours for her own interests—interests that had zero to do with me or my siblings.

4) 5)

I HAD A ROLE MODEL WHO DIDN’T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WERE DOING.

My mom didn’t have Facebook and Pinterest, but she must have known everyone else’s mom was up in time for breakfast. She clearly did not care. Her ability to do what worked for her despite the fact that no one else (at least no sober, sane, stable stay-at-home mom I’ve ever heard of) did it her way, is impressive. One of the most important lessons I could teach my children is to be themselves. Whether that means living on a commune, making art, keeping strange hours or whatever else they need to do to nourish their souls, it doesn’t matter, as long as they’re true to themselves. My mom’s schedule was indeed bizarre, but the more time I spend on this planet, the more I am convinced there is no such thing as normal. I know my mom wasn’t trying to do anything except save her sanity and get some much-needed sleep—it was the 1980s and 1990s and the widespread use of “parent” as a verb was nascent. Nevertheless, by doing what she needed to do for herself, my mother taught me some valuable lessons.

LEARNING STYLES continued from page 13 How To Help With Homework: Have your kids write down what they’re supposed to learn in an organized way. Have them create detailed study notes, organized nicely into sections with proper headings. Get them to look up information online and in reference material as they work. Since reading and writing require focus, make sure their study space is nice and quiet.

KINESTHETIC LEARNERS How They Learn: Kinesthetic learners process new information through hands-on activities that allow them to touch and manipulate objects. A sign that your kids might be kinesthetic learners is that they love creating new things with building blocks or taking things apart to see how they work. At school, kinesthetic learners especially enjoy tactile scientific experiments. How To Help With Homework: Have your kids study with physical objects. This can be using coins to learn math or cutting letters to practice spelling. Since touch and movement help kinesthetic learners process new information, encourage them to stretch regularly or move when they study.

HOMEWORK HELP continued from page 13

“Balancing poses require a level of concentration that are a great way to strengthen those ‘focus muscles’ and create a body and mind that is strong and relaxed,” says Mariam Gates, the author of the new children’s book Good Night Yoga: A Pose-by-Pose Bedtime Story. INTEGRATE NATURAL ELEMENTS. Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign have found that including ornamental plants in a learning area can further enhance a child’s ability to concentrate and learn. “And weirdly, the more involved the child is in the plant’s life or maintenance, the more learning goes on,” says Magalie Rene, a classroom design consultant, who works with parents and schools to create study spaces that foster learning. Place a plant in your home’s study area and have your child water it as a transitionary cue before beginning homework, Rene suggests.

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CHEW GUM. Although the “no gum allowed” rule was grilled into our psyches when we were students, more schools now allow kids to chew gum during state assessments. The chewing movement has an organizing effect on the brain and can help kids focus. ENERGIZE WITH AROMATHERAPY. Scent can have a powerful effect on our emotional well-being. Fill a spray bottle with water and two or three drops of peppermint, rosemary or citrus essential oil. Spray the scent around the study area to enhance concentration, focus and creativity. GET ORGANIZED. Make a homework box either out of a large shoebox or plastic container. Have your child decorate it and store homework supplies, like pens, pencils, crayons, markers, scissors, paper, a glue stick and anything else he might need. “Having everything together creates an atmosphere of organization and success,” Rudman says. If your youngster continues to struggle with focus and concentration, consult with your family’s pediatrician or a child psychologist.

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Huntington Learning Center At Huntington, we are working hard in real-time to evolve and elevate our programs in order to support students who have experienced a disruption in learning due to the pandemic. As we have done for over 40 years, Huntington will continue to provide students with the best education possible no matter what situation comes our way. Huntington is pleased to announce an exciting addition to our remote and in-person learning capabilities: Huntington Study Hall, a new resource that offers students the opportunity to attend their virtual schools at an accredited Huntington Learning Center in a structured environment that is quiet and clean, with certified teachers on-hand to help with their studies throughout the day. Individualized tutoring and test prep programs are also available to complement Huntington Study Hall.

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Glades Christian Academy was established to provide an educational experience in a warm and friendly atmosphere for kindergarten through 8th grade. GCA offers a premier education emphasizing academic, physical, and social training that will prepare students to enjoy success in life. Recognizing the importance of balanced growth, our staff provides many opportunities for the social, mental, physical, and spiritual development of the child. Choosing a school is never easy. Here are a few questions to ask yourself to see if your child is receiving the best education and attention for their success: Is my child a number or a name? Here at GCA, we have small class sizes, which allow us to learn everyone’s name. Additionally, we host several family nights during the school year, where we get to know families better, allowing us to assist students and their families. Is your current school keeping you, the parent, informed? GCA uses a variety of tools to keep our parents informed. Parents have access to their child’s grades, interim reports and homework clearly posted on FACTS, our educational platform. Additionally, we strive to adhere to responding to all parent phone calls and emails within 24 hours. Is your child’s school safe? GCA securely locks all doors so that there is only one entrance into the building. All teachers have been trained in the event of an intruder. Monthly drills help the students practice fire drills or lockdown situations. GCA is a part of the Coral Springs Police Department’s private school notification system. In the event of an incident in the area, we are immediately notified to lockdown the school. If these questions have stirred you to look for a new school with a safe and loving environment, please call and ask about our financial assistance programs and to schedule your personal tour. We look forward to serving your family. GCA is where you belong!

August 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 19

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ACHIEVING ACADEMIC, ATHLETIC AND ARTISTIC EXCELLENCE. Our students enjoy a well-rounded private school education in a diverse and supportive environment. The Lower School provides an enriching academic setting with specialty classes such as STEM, Spanish immersion, music and swimming. Our Upper School offers a college-preparatory curriculum, pre-professional programming, strong athletics, arts and over 40 co-curricular activities. The Sagemont School’s approach to education ensures that students build the cognitive and interpersonal skills needed for the classroom and beyond.

TO SCHEDULE A VIRTUAL INFO SESSION!

Sagemont.com

954-389-9193

Sagemont_BrowardFamilyLife-Aug20_7.25x4.625.indd 1

7/14/20 11:06 AM

The perfect balance of learning and play

• • • •

Safe, nurturing environment Enthusiastic and caring teachers Links to Learning curriculum Ongoing parent communication

6 weeks – Pre-K Coconut Creek • Cooper City • Pembroke Pines • Sunrise

ChesterbrookAcademy.com 20CBA_BrowardFamily_Aug20_7.25x4.625.indd S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E |1 southfloridafamilylife.com

877-959-3740 7/14/20 11:01 AM

David Posnack Jewish Community Center

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GRADES K-8

JSchooled, childcare for those in virtual-learning

OF BROWARD COUNTY

The David Posnack JCC serves all residents of the community regardless of faith, ethnicity, age or disability.

7:30 AM - 2:00 PM After Care Available

For more information call 954.434.0499, ext. 326 dpjcc.org/jschooled

2020-2021

Susan & Saul Singer Early Childhood Learning Center

MA S K

2020-2021

Supervised Child Care for Remote Learning

When school starts again, many children will be in virtual classrooms, giving them few opportunities for face-to-face interactions with friends, peers and teachers. Additionally, parents are facing the challenge of going to work and caring for their school-age children during the day. The David Posnack JCC wants to help with an innovative new program, JSchooled, open to students of all faiths in grades K-8. JSchooled isnâ€™t a school. Itâ€™s childcare with an educational component. ADMINISTRATION Your child will be grouped with 10-15 other Judith Rose, MS students in similar grade/age levels in a sociallyEarly Childhood Director â€˘ Masterâ€™s degree in early childhood distanced study area. Students must bring their education administration Member Community Advanced Director Credential â€“ own laptop, earphonesâ€˘ VPK and power cords. Snacks State of Florida $1,140 are provided. $1,215 â€˘ Over 30 years experience early childhood, An education coordinator isinassigned elementary and middle school levels and $1,275 $1,350 administration $1,375 to each group $1,450to assist with accessing their lessons Michal Hen and completing assignments. Degreed teachers Assistant Director/Curriculum $965 $1,040 â€˘ VPKthe Director Credential â€“ State are available to assist with academics. Plus,of Florida $1,090 $1,165 â€˘ Over 15 years of early childhood teaching $1,230 your child$1,305 will not sit at experience a desk or in a room all day. $1,325 Eileen Neidorf Jschooled$1,400 provides a physical education class and Admissions Coordinator â€˘ Hasas worked in the Singer hip Earlyhop Childhood activities such swimming, $1,090 enrichment $1,165 Learning Center for over 28 years $1,230 classes or $1,305 robotics. $1,325 $1,400 Of course, the health and safety of the children FACULTY JCCchildhood abides â€˘ Allpriority. lead facultyThe hold early Noand cost tostaff parentare the highest credentials. Value is $2,400 all State Department of Health, CDC andprofessional Browardgrowth Reimbursedby by the of Florida â€˘ All faculty complete annually. County guidelines. Health checks (temperature â€˘ $OO IDFXOW\ DUH FHUWLÄ†HG DQG FRPSHWHQW $835 $910 LQ &35 LQIDQW WRGGOHU Ä†UVW DLG (SL 3HQ and symptom screenings) are done daily. Face $975 $1,050 DGPLQLVWUDWLRQ DQG Ä†UH H[WLQJXLVKHU XVDJH All faculty volunteers are cleared through $1,070 coverings$1,145 for students â€˘and staffandare required. Hand the Sexual Predator Offender Databank and haveisundergone a Level II Fingerprint and done throughout es ALL 20 mini-camp washing days for 2020-2021 yearhand (8 days sanitizing background screen. Jan18, Pres Day Feb, 5 days of Spring Camp and 5 the school day. Rooms, surfaces, restrooms and W FOR 2020-2021! hallways are sanitized LEADERSHIP throughout the day and Inclusive Mini Camp Option udes ALL 20 Mini Camp Days from Decembe 2020 ugh June 2021 as a convenient "1oÂ‚ _uŃ´b1_Äˇ Bonnie Rayman, M.Ed. nightlymonthly withbilling an electrostatic disinfectant sprayer. -on. No need to register each time for a Mini-Camp &KLHI ([HFXWLYH 2IÄ†FHU &KLHI &RPPXQLW\ 2IÄ†FHU or week. You are automatically enrolled in every JCC has always been here to support ourMS Ń´-bm; Äş $Â†um;uÄˇ Judith Rose, -camp day for the schoolâ€œThe year! &KLHI )LQDQFLDO 2IÄ†FHU Early Childhood Director families. During these challenging times, it is even VACCINATION POLICY for us to help parents get back more important WV DUH SRVVLEOH Only children who W WKH IURQW GHVN RU immunized will work,â€? said Bonnie Rayman, Chief Community e a space in school, toare be accepted into the FH IRUP DV VRRQ preschoolfor and afterplete your packet Officer the J. David Posnack school programs. hours are 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. The â€˘ JSchooled Form 680 (the State of JCC Florida immunization s promptly at form) MUST be turned V ZLOO EH FKDUJHG JCC also offers an after-school program option Nina & Louis Silverman Campus in prior to childâ€™s attendance be Parents 5850 S. Pine Island Road, Davie, 33328 from 2 toand 6 will p.m. may even want to FL enroll NHSW RQ Ä†OH DW WKH - Telephone: 954-434-7038 â€˘ Fax: 954-434-1741 dpjcc.org her program) â€˘ These programs will children in some of the(Onafter-school enrichment the corner of Stirling & Pine Island Roads) ulation fee. A nonno longer accept ion fee of $200 per children with religious programs, such as basketball, soccer or tennis. exemptions from onth program. vaccination. Children will love being with friends during ol year programs â€˘ Medical exemptions will e with the Broward decidedwill on a casethebeday, get extra support during the school r billed monthly. by-case basis. ating a space in f one month tuition. day, and parents will be relieved knowing their children are safe and getting the academics and socialization they need at David Posnack JCCâ€™s JSchooled. For more information, visit dpjcc.org/jschooled or contact Arlene Abrams, Children & Families director, at 954-434-0499, ext. 326, aabrams@dpjcc.org; or Bonnie Rayman, Chief Community Officer, at 954-434-0499, ext. 209 or brayman@dpjcc.org.

A N DATO

Both Programs:

â€˘ Open to the community â€˘ Located at the David Posnack JCC 5850 S. Pine Island Rd., Davie, FL 33328

ADVENTURES

in Early Childhood hip Membersired T requ rship NO Membe d NOT .L.E. A.P.Prequire d e it d e r acc . A.P.P.L.E Seal ld o G accredited n Certificatio

Gold Seal

SUSAN & SAUL SINGER

Early Childh d Learning Center

DAVID POSNACK JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER

SUSAN & SAUL SINGER

Early Childh d Learning Center

For more information or to register visit dpjcc.org/early-childhood

DAVID POSNACK JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER

August Month 2020 2018 | S |O UBTRHO W F LAORRDI DFAA M F AI LY M I LY L I F LE I F E XX 21

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Children’s Services Council The Children’s Services Council of Broward County (CSC) funds programs that enhance school readiness and academic success. These initiatives strengthen early care and education programming in an effort to meet the comprehensive needs of child care centers, teachers, and families. Activities include: • Providing training and technical assistance using the Positive Behavior Support (PBS) approach specific to infant/toddler inclusion, family involvement, cultural sensitivity, and developmentally appropriate curricula. • Assisting providers with development of Quality Improvement Plans based upon needs identified by the appropriate environmental rating/scale assessment and linked to positive child outcomes. • Implementing evidence-based programming that helps support the PBS approach by focusing on training and support of preschool teachers, staff, and parents in order to prevent and/or address behavioral problems in at-risk children. For community resources, helpful websites, Broward Public Schools information, and childcare options, view the interactive Broward County Family Resource Guide at www.cscbroward.org. This publication is available in English, Spanish, Creole, and Portuguese for the convenience of readers. The CSC’s mission is to provide leadership, advocacy and resources necessary to enhance the lives of the children of Broward County and empower them to become responsible, productive adults. The CSC funds nearly 100 programs that serve children and families, advocates for policies that protect the interests of future generations and provides leadership that brings the child-serving community together. The CSC works with community partners to help “turn the curve” in a positive direction on issues such as maternal and child health, family strengthening, after-school and out-of-school time, kinship care, youth leadership, advocacy and employment, and support for youth and families with special needs. For more information on CSC-funded programs such as these, visit www.cscbroward.org or call 954-377-1000.

XX S BORUOT W 22 H AF RL O D RFI A DM A I FLY AM L I FLY E L| I Fbrowardfamilylife.com E | southfloridafamilylife.com

Area Stage Company

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Area Stage Company is South Florida’s premier performing arts facility offering conservatory-style classes and private instruction year-round in acting, voice, dance, musical theatre, and more. ASC has also housed a professional theatre company since 1989, producing musicals, plays, readings, concerts, and new works for children and adults alike. ASC was named Best Theatre Company in Miami 2020 by the Miami New Times and Coral Gables Magazine, and many alumni have graced the stages of Broadway. Enroll now for the fall session, beginning August 31. Space is limited, and spots are going quickly. In-person and virtual options are available with a full schedule of classes for all ages and abilities. There truly is something for every young performer!

Bright & Smart Bright & Smart is excited to announce the launch of our new Online STEAM Creation Center. We have always been a local company, but are thrilled to now have a virtual platform to reach students globally, and hope to encourage the development of more STEM skills for students of all ages. We have created a curriculum that incorporates Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math that makes learning fun and fulfilling. Our curriculum enables children as young as five years old to be hands-on creators as they explore, discover, and learn more about their hidden capabilities. We will be offering classes, camps, and creating classes for adults. So take a journey with us as we navigate through the secret passageways of Robotics, Coding, and Engineering, together with some of the most enthusiastic, experienced and caring instructors in the industry. Bright & Smart online class sizes are limited to five students per group for more personalized instruction, and to create space for students to unleash their inner talents and maximize their true potential. #STEAM is our Approach #Learning is our Goal. For more information, call 954-816-3346 or visit www.BrightAndSmart.com

Girls & Boys Welcome Ages 3-12 Programs Available at our Virtual STEM Center: • Mommy and Me, ages 3-4 • STEM Enrichment for ages: 5-6,7-9 & 10-12 • STEM Day Camps:2 or 4 hours • Private lessons, ages 7-15, Flexible scheduling • Robotics, Coding, Engineering, Apps, 3D printing and more We Bring our Programs To You • • • • •

Broward, Palm Beach & Miami-Dade AfterSchool & Saturday Programs In-School STEAM Field Trips STEAM Electives K-12 TEACHERS: We customize our curriculum to your lesson plan

SPACE IS LIMITED! Trial Classes Available Call (954) 816-3346 or email info@BrightAndSmart.com to register www.BrightAndSmart.com August Month 2020 2018 | SO | UBTRHO W F LAORRDI DFAA M F AI LY M I LY L I F LEI F E XX 23

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American Heritage School PLANTATION AND DELRAY BEACH American Heritage School is a nationally recognized private school that provides a rigorous and well-rounded college preparatory education with superior programs in academics, the arts, and athletics for students in grades PK3 through 12. In our Lower School, we offer advanced courses, including the Stanford University math program for accelerated math students in grades 4-6; 15 elective classes are integrated into all students’ daily schedules. In our Upper School, we offer 135 honors courses, 28 Advanced Placement (AP) courses, and a Pre-Professional Program with Pre-Med, Pre-Law, Pre-Engineering, Biomedical Engineering, Computer Science and Business. Over 85 student-run clubs and organizations are available at all grade levels. Some of our accolades include: • #1 high school in Florida for 10th consecutive year for highest number of National Merit Scholars • $123 million in college scholarships offered to the Class of 2020 • 95% passing rate on all Advanced Placement exams (52% passing rate in the state of Florida;

64% passing rate globally); AP average test score: 4 • #1 private school in the U.S. in national math competitions • #1 school in Florida at state science fair competition • Top 5 team in the U.S. in Model U.N.

15 th Annual

• #1 Mock Trial and Moot Court teams in Florida • Top 1% in the nation in Speech & Debate competition • Numerous Fine Arts awards at the national and state levels, including thespians, chorus, orchestra, band, and art

Broward.org/Library

ONLINE!

We invite children, teens and families to participate in this exciting series, which includes live online visits with our featured guests as well as fun and engaging book discussions featuring some of your favorite Broward County Library staff. August 26 • 2PM Bookopoly: Just Ask by Sonia Sotomayor August 27 • 2PM Illustrator Visit: Rafael Lopez Best for Elementary School Students

September 2 • 2PM September 9 • 2PM September 16 • 2PM Bookopoly: Bookopoly: Bookopoly: Alma, and How She Monday’s Not Coming You Don’t Know Got Her Name Everything, Jilly P! September 10 • 2PM September 3 • 2PM September 17 • 2PM Author Visit: Author/Illustrator Visit: Author Visit: Tiffany Jackson Juana Martinez-Neal Alex Gino Best for Elementary School Students

Best for High School Students

Best for Middle School Students

September 23 • 2PM Bookopoly: The Jumbies September 24 • 2PM Author Visit: Tracey Baptiste Best for Middle School Students

For additional information and to register go to: https://broward.webex.com/broward/onstage/g.php?PRID=47689e31e4838730fc118c57dc36ea71 24

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FAMILY health

Step away from the screen HOW TO MANAGE YOUR CHILD’S BREAKS DURING VIRTUAL SCHOOL DAYS BY SANDI SCHWARTZ

his school year will definitely look different, whether your children are being homeschooled, learning online virtually through their current school, or attending school in person on a hybrid schedule. You might find that many pandemic safety protocols may keep them tied to their desks more than they are used to. It’s important that we make sure they get the physical breaks they need to stay balanced and healthy throughout the school day. The average American student used to sit at school for about 4.5 hours a day, but if your child is doing virtual school, then that could be 7 or 8 hours of sitting. Then add the time they sit staring at screens for homework and fun, and we find that our kids are sitting 85 percent of the time they are awake. That sure is a lot of sitting. Until recently, it was believed that children needed to sit still to concentrate and succeed in school. But experts today find that kids are not wired to sit all day long. Instead, they benefit from breaks in which they are physically moving to help energize their brain and be more productive in the classroom. REASONS MOVEMENT IS BETTER Many studies in recent years helped educators realize that forcing children to sit still is not the best approach; instead, moving around enhances their educational experience. A report from the Institute of Medicine found that children who are more active show greater attention, have faster cognitive processing speed, and perform better on standardized tests than children who are less active. According to John Ratey, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, movement activates the brain cells that children need to learn. Moving around stimulates more

blood vessels in the brain to support the creation of new brain cells. Finally, lowlevel movement like standing improves students’ attention and alertness because their blood circulation and oxygenation levels increase. Movement breaks also help address childhood obesity and the many other health concerns about children not getting enough physical activity since play time has been dramatically reduced for reasons like increased technology use. As we know, extensive medical evidence shows that regular physical activity is related to lower body fat, greater muscular strength, stronger bones, and improvements in cardiovascular and metabolic health. It also helps reduce anxiety and depression. HOW TO ENCOURAGE MORE MOVEMENT We can help our children break up all that time sitting by providing fun movement breaks, standing desks, yoga ball seats, and plenty of outdoor time.

Other ways that you can introduce important movement breaks into your child’s day include: •Balance online time with outdoor activities like bike rides, swimming, running, obstacle courses, jump rope and visits to local parks. •Participate in sports lessons or team sports, if safe. •Encourage siblings to play outside together, such as playing catch or running a race. •For bad weather days, have movement options available, such as using exercise equipment, calisthenics like jumping jacks and push-ups, and choosing online fitness videos. •Give them a pedometer and challenge them to walk a certain number of steps each day. •Register for online fitness classes. Sandi Schwartz is a writer and editor who specializes in parenting, wellness, environmental issues and human behavior.

August 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 25

FAMILY matters

Coronavirus co-parenting PANDEMIC PUTS ADDED PRESSURE ON PARENTS SHARING THEIR KIDS BY JENNIFER JHON

xes raising their children together face all sorts of challenges, but the Coronavirus pandemic has added unprecedented levels of strife to the mix. The biggest problem in co-parenting is that COVID-19 wasn’t anticipated or contracted for in parenting plans, said Natalie Kay, a partner at Kelley Kronenberg Attorneys at Law who has been practicing for 10 years in family law. Differences about COVID-19 are common among parents, whether they are together or not, she said. Some parents are not wearing a mask or social distancing, they are willing to take the kids to the grocery store or the beach, and

S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E

they are visiting friends and family. “Other parents want to live strictly, keeping their bubble very small and not taking any chances on exposing the kids.” It is tougher for co-parents, who are living separately but trying to comply with the parenting plan or adjust it to make sure their family stays safe and healthy, Kay said. Coronavirus is hard even on co-parents who are used to cooperating with one another, Kay said, but if they’ve been fighting over their kids already, this is another thing they aren’t going to see eye to eye on. “They just don’t see it the same way.”

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The fighting takes its toll on kids, who are bouncing back and forth, she said. “Do we wear a mask? Not wear a mask? Go to the grocery store? Go see a friend?” Earlier this year, Kay wrote an article for parents encouraging them to work together, “because we’re all in this together, she said. “Let’s use this as a bridge to do a better job co-parenting. We all have the same goal of wanting kids to be safe and healthy.” The hope is that co-parents can cooperate in weathering this storm. “The goal of a parent plan is that you never even look at it. The two of you can work life out together, however it unfolds.

That’s the ultimate goal.” Exes who can manage that are ones she never hears from. “They don’t need lawyers involved in their co-parent decisions, and that’s amazing,” Kay said. But many cannot work it out, for one reason or another, especially in the current climate. One parent thinks it is unfair for the other parent to have them for longer periods of time, or they feel it is unsafe. The issue was such a problem that Broward County had to issue a temporary order “that basically told everybody you have to keep exchanging your children. You can’t hide behind the stay-at-home order,” Kay said. “It was a massive problem.” The administrative order on April 2, 2020, was

3-year-old on a plane to New York, but the father adamantly objected because of the Coronavirus risk. “We had to have a hearing on it, and a judge in Broward County had to make a decision.” The judge ruled against the trip, she said, but “sometimes judges aren’t prepared to make that stand. It’s a tough call to make, and it is really a parenting decision.” She also saw a case in which one parent fabricated a possible COVID-19 exposure to prevent the other parent from taking the kids on a road trip. “It runs the gamut with what people are going through.” Because of that, “there are a lot of families that need the family bench,” she said. “Everything is being

designed “to reduce the done by Zoom. We really number of ‘emergency’ haven’t skipped much of Some parents want filings and hearings.” a beat.” to live strictly, keeping It states “each parent Experienced family their bubble very is prohibited from practitioners can small and not taking unreasonably restricting help parents resolve any chances on access to the child(ren) disputes — even without exposing the kids. to the other parent” and litigation. But sometimes “regular timesharing, what co-parents need as set forth in the more than an attorney is parties’ Parenting Plan, a fresh set of eyes, Kay shall continue.” said. “Experienced family Kay said some co-parents law mediators are very good were using the pandemic to try to alter at coming up with ideas to try to find their agreements, especially if the other some middle ground.” Some were judges parent was a medical professional. on the bench, and now they mediate, “It was really, really sad, because when she said. you’re talking about this kind of scary Kay also recommended speaking with global situation that none of us have the a good parent coordinator or a family answers for, to keep the continuity for therapist they’ve seen before. “They’re your kids, and continue what they’re definitely a great resource for situations used to, is paramount. In their little minds, their whole routine was over. Everything they were used to happening, including the switch back and forth between mom and dad, it stopped.” The more normal you could keep things for your children, the better, Kay said, “but you have people who are not going to see things that way and use this to keep their kids more.” The court did rule in favor of medical professionals, she said. “The court said a parent should not have to choose between their profession and their children.” This summer, travel has been the top point of contention among co-parents, Kay said. She recently witnessed a case where a mother wanted to take a

like this. It’s really just about finding the right way to bridge that gap, to bridge the gap of whatever that difference is.” Many family law attorneys, including Kelley Kronenberg Attorneys at Law in Davie, provide free 30-minute consultations, she said, “so that’s always a resource as well.” Kay recommended contacting the Broward Bar for recommendations. “If you are going to hire anybody, make sure they are well-versed in family law. Sometimes people dabble in this area of law. Make sure they have experience,” she said.

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Jennifer Jhon is South Florida Family Life’s digital and social media editor. August 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 27

HOME tech

Sneaking a peek SHOULD YOU READ YOUR CHILD'S TEXTS? BY CAROLINE KNORR

ou’re sitting there minding your own business when a nearby phone buzzes. U up?, it says, beckoning you closer. Only, it’s not your phone — it’s your child’s. Do you pick it up? Do you “accidentally” swipe the screen for a closer look? If you’ve made up your mind — yes, you read your kid’s texts, or no, you don’t — more power to you! But if the question prompts a cascade of conflicting emotions, self-serving justifications and guilt, read on for tips. Like every other aspect of raising children in the digital age, the answer

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is complicated. (And if your youngster is “BC” — before cellphones — use this as a chance to prep for the next phase.) SHOULD I READ MY CHILD’S TEXTS? Reading your kid’s texts is part of responsible parenting. Most kids view their phones as their personal property, and it can become a proxy for their blossoming independence. So don’t sneak. Maintaining trust — especially in the vital years leading up to the teens — is critical to a healthy relationship (and it goes both ways). Your kids may not like it, but they’ll respect you for being honest. They’ll also

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understand your point of view better if you explain why you want to see what’s on their phone: •It helps to keep them safe. Since so much of kids’ lives happens on devices, we need to keep tabs on whether their relationships are healthy, whether the content they’re seeing is age-appropriate, and even when they’re using their phones (such as when they’re supposed to be sleeping or in school). If you’ve already established the routine of spot checks, your child should be expecting them. If not, make it clear it’s for their safety and

that keeping them safe is part of your job. •It reinforces your media rules. How can you tell they’re following your rules if you can’t see the evidence? You need to make sure they’re texting with people they know and that their relationships and activities are mostly positive. Tell your kid what you want to peek at and what you’re looking for. A few examples: 1) Texts show you whom they’re talking to and at what times. They’ll also provide a sense of whether the interactions are mostly beneficial. 2) Apps show you their online activities: what they’re reading, playing, listening to and sharing. 3) Settings, including the ones on the phone and in individual apps, show you how they’re protecting their privacy, whether they have location services on or off, and even how much time they’re spending in their apps. •It lets you know when they’re ready for more responsibility. The better they manage their online lives, the more you can loosen the reins. If they’re following your rules, such as asking for permission before downloading apps, not hacking your parental controls, and overall conducting themselves responsibly, the spot checks can become less frequent — and maybe you can ease up on other restrictions they’ve proven they can handle. WHAT ARE THE DOWNSIDES OF READING MY KID’S TEXTS? It’s just one piece of the puzzle. As much as we’ve been told that our kids are living online, they also very much live in the real world. The contents of their phones will give you some clues — but they could be misleading, taken out of context or misunderstood. Yes, it can be hard to get your tween talking sometimes, but keep making the effort. An effective way to engage them is by asking what their friends are playing or doing on social media, instead of asking them directly about themselves. •You’re going to discover stuff you won’t like … and need to figure out what to do about it. You’ll have to determine for yourself what constitutes typical tween stuff (swear words, cringey ideas, exploration of mature content) and what may be signs of deeper issues (inappropriate photos, hate speech, risky

apps, troubling search terms such as “suicide” and “drugs”). Pick your battles: Use the minor issues as an opportunity to discuss your values, and give consequences for serious infractions. If you’re worried about something, do a more in-depth check of your kid’s well-being in person such as the HEADSS assessment, an acronym for Home, Education, Activities, Drugs, Sexuality, Suicide. If your kid’s having a bumpy time or is hiding stuff, you can use a phone-monitoring app such as Bark or other parental control tools to receive notifications of alert words and off-limits activities. •You may invade someone else’s privacy. Sure, you have the right to keep tabs on your own kid, but digging around on their phone will inevitably uncover something about their friends. Knowing private information can put you in a really awkward spot. Use your best judgment: If you think anyone is unsafe, you should do what you can to protect them. But if it’s just something you wish you could “unsee,” keep it to yourself.

OUR SERVICES

A WORD ABOUT SNEAKING. The only situation that warrants spying is if you suspect something is seriously wrong. When your Spidey sense kicks in and you notice any signs of behavior change, declining grades, poor sleep, major hostility, withdrawal or secrecy, you have a solid reason to check the phone without your kid knowing. And if you don’t find anything? Consider coming clean. Your kid may be upset at first, but if you use it as a chance to discuss what’s going on with them and how you might help them feel better, they’ll most likely forgive you. STAY THE COURSE. It takes a parent with ironclad boundaries not to sneak a peek at what’s happening on their child’s phone. But a full-on investigation without your kid’s knowledge and consent probably won’t end well. Spot checks, conversations and transparency should be sufficient to keep tabs on your kid while preserving your bond. And when there’s friction, suggest a family-wide media break and start over fresh when things settle.

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This story was reprinted with permission from Common Sense Media. August 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 29

WORDS of wisdom

Who’s the real boss? A MOM'S WORK IS NEVER DONE BY CHERYL MAGUIRE

hen I became a stay-at-home mom I thought, “Finally I can be the boss.” The idea of not answering to anyone and having the ability to create my own schedule was appealing. Obviously, these delusions of grandeur were construed while I was pregnant. Perhaps the combination of hormones and increased caloric intake (in my case the increase was extreme) clouded my judgment. It didn’t take long for me to realize who the real boss was in our house. Even when my twins were babies, they let it be known whose schedules I needed to follow. Middle-of-the-night feedings, diaper changes at all hours and incessant crying were all indicators of who was in charge, and it was definitely not me. Fast-forward to present day. As I wrote the first paragraph of this story, I felt a presence lurking over my shoulder. It was my 9-year-old daughter (a.k.a, the real boss or President of the Household), who was curious as to what her underling was typing. She read the first few sentences without asking for permission. Then she erupted in laughter. “You thought you were going to be the boss? That is a good one, mom,” said my daughter, providing her unsolicited feedback, as only a boss could. “Thanks for the helpful insight. If you let me finish writing, I was going to give you full credit for being in charge.” As you can see, I’m not even allowed to write a story without the chief poking her nose around. “Carry on,” she said with a wave of her hand as she went in search of another employee (a.k.a., Dad) to chastise. In addition to the regular household chores I have been assigned, I am responsible for the upkeep of all electrical devices (which there are many). If I lag on this duty, there are repercussions. “Why didn’t you charge my iPad?” my 9-year-old son (a.k.a. Vice President even though technically his twin sister was born after him, we all answer to her) asked with an angry accusatory tone.

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“I think you are capable of plugging a cord into an outlet since you know how to play all of the video games on it,” I said. “I don’t know where the charger is,” he responded again suggesting that is my job that I’m clearly not completing efficiently. “Well, I guess it will be difficult to charge it.” “Can you find it for me?” Yes, that is exactly how I wish to spend my time, searching the house for a cord to charge a device which he spends so much time using that the battery is drained. The boss, or rather bosses, are real sticklers for time management. If I am running even a minute behind, they are going to notice. When I picked my daughter up from her after school activity, I made the mistake of being a few minutes late (I swear it was less than five minutes). “Why are you late?” she demanded. “I am sorry, but it is only two minutes later from when I am supposed to pick you up.” “I am the last one here. Everyone else’s parents got here on time.” Wow, the boss is really upset about this one, I better make sure to be on time in the future. I wouldn’t want to have my pay docked. If I ever complain about my boss’ high expectations to my mother, she seems to enjoy responding, “If you think this is bad, just wait until they are teenagers.” Perhaps that jab is her way of getting back at her boss (a.k.a. me). One day when they are at college with a heap of dirty laundry, a dead phone and late for class, they will realize that I was an exemplary employee. Until then, I better get back to work. The boss is hollering at me, “When’s dinner?” Cheryl Maguire, the mother of twins and a daughter, learned quickly who the real boss is.