penguin
PLAYING BY THE RULES
Monica Murphy is a New York Times, USA Today and international bestselling romance author. Her books have been translated in almost a dozen languages and have sold over two million copies worldwide. A native Californian, she lives on fourteen acres in the middle of nowhere with her husband, two kids, one dog and four cats. When she’s not writing, she’s an assistant coach for her daughter’s high school cheer team. Maybe someday, she’ll even write about this experience.
ALSO BY MONICA MURPHY
The Players
Playing Hard to Get
Playing Hard To Get
Playing by The Rules
Playing By The Rules
Playing To Win
Playing to Win Lancaster Prep
Things I Wanted To Say (but never did)
A Million Kisses in Your Lifetime
Birthday Kisses
Promises We Meant to Keep
I’ll Always Be With You
You Said I Was Your Favorite
Wedded Bliss (Lancaster)
The Reluctant Bride
The Ruthless Groom
The Reckless Union
The Arranged Marriage boxset
College Years
The Freshman
The Sophomore
The Junior
The Senior
Dating Series
Save The Date
Fake Date
Holidate
Hate to Date You
Rate A Date
Wedding Date
Blind Date
The Callahans
Close to Me
Falling For Her
Addicted To Him
Meant To Be
Fighting For You
Making Her Mine
A Callahan Wedding
Forever Yours Series
You Promised Me Forever
Thinking About You
Nothing Without You
Damaged Hearts Series
Her Defiant Heart
His Wasted Heart Damaged Hearts Friends Series
Just Friends
More Than Friends
Forever
The Never Duet
Never Tear Us Apart
Never Let You Go
The Rules Series
Fair Game
In The Dark Slow Play
Safe Bet
The Fowler Sisters Series
Owning Violet
Stealing Rose
Taming Lily
Reverie Series
His Reverie
Her Destiny
Billionaire Bachelors Club Series
Crave
Torn
Savor
Intoxicated
One Week Girlfriend Series
One Week Girlfriend
Second Chance Boyfriend
Three Broken Promises
Drew + Fable Forever
Four Years Later
Five Days Until You
A Drew + Fable Christmas
Pretty Dead Girls
PLAYING BY THE RULES
MONICA MURPHY
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First published in the United States of America by Monica Murphy 2023
First published in Great Britain by Penguin Books 2024 001
Copyright © Monica Murphy, 2023
The moral right of the author has been asserted
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I need to thank Taylor Swift for Folklore.
I’ve written a lot of books to songs from this album and now those songs leave me an emotional wreck.
‘Mad Woman’ helped me nail down a scene in this book and I needed that so thanks, Taylor…
PLAYLIST
“Wasting My Time” - Hannah Cohen
“Dreams, Fairytales, Fantasies” - A$AP Ferg, Brent Faiyaz, Salaam Remi)
Salaam Remi
“T Love” - Quarters of Change
“Hit Me Where it Hurts” - Caroline Polachek
“Sugar” - Remi Wolf
“All I Really Want is You” - The Marias
Really Want Is You” Marias
“Spectra” - Pink Skies
“Mad Woman” - Taylor Swift
“mad woman” - Taylor Swift
Find the rest of the PLAYING BY THE RULES playlist here: http://bit.ly/3LuRFCU
Or click the QR code below:
Iam in love with a man who doesn’t know I exist. Wait a second, scratch that. He knows I exist. He just chooses to ignore me. Which hurts even more.
Oh, and by “in love with him,” I mean I think he’s superhot and sweet. A phenomenal athlete with strong, silent type-vibes, and I want to have sex with him.
I don’t admit that to anyone though. Not a single soul. Camden Fields, hotshot quarterback at Colorado University, best friend to my overprotective big brother Knox, fuel for my filthiest sexual fantasies and dreams, is my secret.
I first met Cam before I was a senior in high school. Knox brought him home with him in the middle of summer one weekend. They were already at college, preparing for the upcoming football season, and Cam wanted to meet our dad. Or Knox wanted to show off that our father is a retired NFL player.
Whatever the reason, Camden walked into our house and my jaw literally dropped. He was the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen, and I still stand by that statement.
Worse? He was nice. Funny. My parents loved him. He
was kind to Ruby, our little sister, who can be a total shit. And when he appeared in a pair of swim trunks to go swimming in our pool? Forget it.
I was drooling.
Kind of like how I’m currently salivating as I lurk on the second floor of the library on campus, spying on Cam sitting at one of the tables nearby. It feels wrong, watching him when he’s unaware, but I need a few seconds to gather myself before I approach him, so why not spend that time unabashedly ogling him?
The man is ridiculously good-looking. Dark brown hair that’s longer on top, which he keeps raking his fingers through as he reads whatever extremely thick and intimidating textbook is in front of him, and I wish it were my fingers in his hair.
I stare at him with longing, grateful he hasn’t noticed me yet as I continue to mentally catalogue his features. Those dark brown eyes and a big smile with the straightest teeth. Strong jaw and chin, with cheekbones that could cut glass. He’s tall because, of course he is, as well as broad and built. Big hands that know exactly how to throw a football. Bet they know how to do other things too.
My entire body flushes at the thought.
“Excuse me,” a guy murmurs from behind me, and I step aside when I realize I’m in his way, offering an apology before my gaze returns to Cam.
To find him looking straight at me, surprise etched on his handsome features.
Oh shit.
Smiling faintly, I offer him a lame wave and slowly make my way toward his table, telling myself it would be rude to ignore him. I stop on the other side of it, reaching out to grip
the empty chair directly in front of me, so I have something to hold on to. “Hey, Camden.”
“Blair.” His deep voice washes over me, making me tingle all over. “Surprised I haven’t seen you sooner.”
I’ve only been here for about a month—after two years at community college back home, I transferred to Colorado University.
And what, did he expect me to chase after him?
“I thought you’d stop by our place by now to see Knox,” he continues, probably because he notices my confusion.
“Oh. Yeah, no. Knox and I have met a couple times for dinner, but I haven’t stopped by your guys’ apartment yet.” I was always secretly disappointed Knox didn’t bring Cam with him to dinner too. “I’ve been busy.”
“I bet.” His slow, sexy smile makes my panties feel like they’re made of dissolvable fabric. “How are you liking it here?”
“I like it a lot! It’s great!” I am chirping. I sound like an idiot and need to tone it down a notch or ten. “My class load is kind of tough, but I’m getting used to it.”
“Oh yeah?” He frowns, inclining his head toward the chair I’m currently holding on to for dear life. “You should join me. Unless you need to be somewhere?”
“No, no. I don’t need to be anywhere.” Now I sound like a loser. This man turns me into an absolute fool, just being in his presence. “My next class is in like…forty-five minutes.”
I let go of the back of the chair and he kicks at it, making the chair skid across the floor, nearly bumping into me. I grab it, settle in and drop my backpack at my feet, inhaling discreetly.
His spicy cologne hits me like a drug, slipping through my veins and making me want to sway in drunken pleasure. No one should be allowed to smell this
delicious. To look this delicious. Everything about this man just lights me up. It’s criminal, how much I want him.
How much he doesn’t realize it.
“What are you reading?” I ask, needing to distract myself.
Cam holds up the book, so I can see the cover with the title, American Political Thought, on the front of it.
“Sounds boring.” I wrinkle my nose.
“It’s not so bad.” He shrugs. “I’m a poly sci major so…”
Great. I just insulted his choice of major. “Oh right. Sorry. I forgot.”
Actually, I didn’t even know. Not like Knox and I discuss Cam beyond him mentioning Cam’s name here and there. Mostly in reference to football and the team and stats and all the bullshit that comes with it.
I shouldn’t describe it like that. Football is our family’s life. Dad always says, it’s a part of our legacy. He fully expects Knox to get drafted into the NFL, predicting he’ll get picked by the fifth round, and I don’t doubt it’ll happen. I’m related to a bunch of guys who are currently playing in the NFL, both by blood and through marriage. We are just that family.
“It’s okay. You shouldn’t care what my major is.” He slams the book shut and pushes it aside, before he rests his arms on top of the table, contemplating me. “So, how’s it going?”
“How’s what going?” I stare into his eyes for a beat too long, trying to calm my breathing. My rapidly beating heart. Pretty sure this is the closest I’ve ever been to Cam, beyond that one moment when I got to hug him after a football game last season.
That experience about did me in. My emotions went
into a chaotic spiral the moment I felt his arms close around me.
Or maybe that was just my hormones kicking in, reminding me that I’m extremely attracted to this man.
“School. Life.” He shrugs, leaning back in his seat, sprawling his legs out. He’s dressed in a Golden Eagles Football T-shirt that stretches tight across his wide chest and a pair of black basketball shorts. The outfit is nothing special, but heaven help me, he looks amazing. “Knox mentioned you’re doing well since you got here.”
“I am.” I nod—a little too enthusiastically. “I just—I don’t have a lot of friends yet.”
He frowns, seemingly concerned. “Oh? Well, you did just start here.”
While the campus is crowded and my classes are full, I haven’t really been able to fully connect with anyone. Yet.
“Right. Well, I have my roommates.” Rita and Cheyenne are perfectly nice, but I don’t really know them, and they are already super close since they’ve roomed together since freshman year. Which means, most of the time, I feel like a third wheel when I’m hanging out with them. “And they’re nice. But I haven’t really talked to anyone in my classes yet.”
“Ah.” Cam nods. “Well, at least you have your brother.”
I roll my eyes. “He doesn’t count.”
That smile is back, closed-lipped and absolutely adorable. “You have me.”
My heart drops, landing between my legs. You have me. He can’t say things like that unless he means them.
“I’ll be your friend,” he continues. “Knox did mention to me recently that he needs my help.”
Be my friend. Would he freak out if he knew what I truly wanted from him? It’s definitely not friendship.
“Help with what?” I ask warily.
“Watching over you. He says I’m the only one he can trust on the team not to make a move on you.” Cam shakes his head.
And just like that, my heart returns to its normal spot in my chest, all tingly feelings occurring between my thighs disappearing. Great. Cam views me as the little sister he never had, thanks to my completely over-the-top brother.
“Wow, can’t wait to have two overprotective brothers on campus watching out for me,” I say, heavy on the sarcasm.
Cam scratches the back of his neck, seeming a little uncomfortable. “Is Knox too much sometimes?”
His question opens up a dam of opinions. “Too much? If he could put me in a cage and keep me under lock and key for the rest of my time here on this campus, he totally would. It’s ridiculous. He’s ridiculous. I don’t know why he thinks I’m incapable of making rational decisions, but for whatever reason, he believes I’m going to put myself at risk on a daily basis, like I’m stupid.”
“Knox doesn’t think you’re stupid,” Cam says, ready to defend his friend, which is a little annoying. Though not annoying enough to make me think he’s awful. I could never think Cam is awful. “More like he doesn’t trust anyone else.”
I raise my brows. “Meaning?”
“Like all the guys. Everyone we know. The team, mostly.” He crosses his arms, making his biceps bulge. Good lord. It’s hard not to blatantly stare at them. “He knows what we’re all up to when we’re not playing football, and doesn’t want his little sister exposed to our terrible ways.”
“Are you all just a bunch of dirty dogs deep down?” Dirty dogs? What in the world am I saying?
Cam chuckles. “I would say the majority of us think with our dick first, can’t lie.”
Okay. The tingle is back between my legs because hearing Cam talk about his dick is just a bit exciting, which makes me feel a tad pathetic, but whatever.
“Oh, come on. You’re deeper than that, right?”
“Not really.” He shrugs again.
“Says the man who’s reading about American politics.”
“I have to for an assignment in the class,” he explains, that smile still on his face.
I’m getting the sense he’s enjoying this conversation as much as I am, though maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.
“You’re telling me then, that when you first meet a woman, you can’t help but think about having sex with her?”
“Well, yeah.” He looks sheepish. But not enough to hold back being honest. “Most of the time.”
“Every woman?”
“If I find her attractive, definitely.” He shrugs, seemingly uncomfortable.
Huh.
The words leave me before I can even think about them, which isn’t normal.
“What about me?”
Istare at Blair Maguire’s beautiful face, dumbfounded.
Did she say what I think she just said?
“Never mind.” She waves her hand, her cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink. “Forget I asked that.”
The problem is, I don’t think I’ll ever forget she asked that. I have always found her attractive. Even when Knox and I were incoming college freshmen and she was going to be a senior in high school, and I went to her house that one summer, eager to meet their dad. She was cute then. Blonde and green-eyed and always wearing a friendly smile, yet rarely wearing much clothing, considering how hot it was that weekend. I stayed at her family’s house for three days that first summer I met Knox, and by the end of the stay, I realized something.
My new friend’s sister had a crush on me.
That’s not my ego talking either. I’d always catch her staring at me. She followed me around—a lot. Made sure she was always sitting out by the pool when we were out there too, wearing some little bikini that barely covered her. She has perfect tits and a tiny waist and flared hips. Curves
in all the right places that I would mentally tell myself not to look at.
I told my mental, nagging voice to fuck right off every single time I caught myself checking her out. Even though I knew it was a bad idea. As in, me and Blair.
We’re a terrible idea.
The worst part of that one short summer visit? How her sweet voice would always turn softer when she spoke to me, those big green eyes drinking me in. Like she couldn’t get enough of my presence. She’d try to make conversation with me every chance she got.
Can’t lie, it felt good to have such a pretty girl seemingly crushing on me, but she was young. And I wasn’t interested. Not really. One, the age difference—well more the school difference—and two, she was Knox’s sister. And he warned me straight out that his sisters were off-limits.
Having her sit in front of me now, looking prettier than ever and asking me if I ever thought about having sex with her? Fuck.
My answer would be a hell yes, but I can’t say that out loud.
Can I?
I might’ve told myself back in the day I wasn’t interested in her, but it was a lie. I always thought she was beautiful. I would’ve totally made a move on her if she’d been older and not Knox’s sister.
Still can’t make a move because…yeah.
Blair is Knox’s sister.
There are rules Knox has laid down and boundaries established. We can’t touch Blair.
Period.
“Yeah, I’ve thought about it,” I finally mutter, so low she almost didn’t hear me.
But she definitely did. I see the realization dawn. The slow smile that curls her lips, immediately erased, like she didn’t mean to do it.
“Camden Fields,” she softly chastises, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Really?”
She sounds surprised, but come on. Has she looked at herself in the mirror lately? She’s fucking gorgeous. All that blonde hair and smooth skin. Those pink lips that are perfectly-shaped. Not to mention she has a great body. A perfect ass that I’ve stared at more than a time or two.
I scrub a hand over my face, trying to keep my thoughts under control.
“I shouldn’t be talking with you like this.” I sit up straighter, clearing my throat. “Your brother would have my ass.”
“I won’t tell him if you don’t,” she promises, her voice...sultry?
Well, damn. What do I say to that?
“Look, I should go.” When she rises to her feet, I recall her saying she didn’t have to be at her next class for another forty-five minutes, which was like…ten minutes ago. Tops. “It was nice seeing you. Hopefully we’ll run into each other again sometime soon.”
Before I can say anything, even goodbye, she grabs her backpack and she’s gone.
Without hesitation, I shoot out of my seat, leaving everything behind at the table while I chase after her. She might not be tall with a long stride like me, but she’s fast, seeing as she’s practically to the side doors of the library when I curl my fingers around her upper arm, stopping her.
She whips around, surprise in her eyes when she realizes I chased after her.
“If I made you uncomfortable, I didn’t mean to,” I say,
Playing by the Rules 11
suddenly sweating. I don’t want to piss her off or offend her. And this has nothing to do with Knox. I know he’ll kick my ass if I did something rude to his sister, but really?
I respect Blair. I like her. And I don’t want to hurt her feelings.
Something dawns in her gaze, something I can’t quite figure out, and her lips curve into the tiniest smile. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, Cam.”
Thank Christ. “Okay, good.”
“It was—interesting though, what you said.”
I’m frowning. “How so?”
“That we’re having the same thoughts about each other.”
I blink at her, the meaning behind her words sinking into my brain.
“I’ve wondered what it would be like with you too.” She blasts me with the full wattage of her smile, before she turns and pushes her way through the double doors, disappearing out of view.
Leaving me at a complete loss.
P RACTICE IS A BITCH . My arm aches from constantly throwing and that son of a bitch Derek tackled my ass out of nowhere, taking me down to the ground. The coaches went apeshit, screaming at him, and Derek apologized over and over again, making me feel bad for being mad at him.
Still am though, even if it’s unreasonable.
Once I’m dressed and ready to leave, Coach asks me to come into his office, which I do, settling in the chair across from his desk.
“Maguire waiting for you?” he asks. He knows our living situation and how we usually go to practice together.
“He is,” I answer.
“I’ll make it quick then.” He scoots his creaky old desk chair closer, resting his arms on the edge of the desk. “We need to protect you at all costs.”
“Protect me?”
“Your arm. That asshole Derek.” Coach rubs his jaw, his lips firm. “I’m sorry that happened.”
I’m in shock Coach would apologize. “You had nothing to do with it.”
“Still. You’re the best fucking QB we’ve had in years. I can’t risk losing you, not this year. You and Maguire are powerhouses. You two keep this up and you’re on your way to the NFL for sure.”
I refuse to get my hopes up. That is the ultimate dream. But I’m not part of a legacy like my friend. With his retired NFL-playing father and uncle, he’s got an automatic ‘in’ that I will never have, and while I’m not jealous of it, I sure do wish it was me sometimes.
“Thanks, Coach,” I say when I realize he’s done. “That’s all you wanted to tell me?”
“That and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you. The entire coaching staff does. Your calm demeanor keeps everyone on an even keel which we appreciate. Those boys listen to you, son. Your quiet leadership is outstanding. You are an asset to this team, Fields.” He nods once, and I leap to my feet, taking that as my dismissal. “Don’t fuck it up.”
The same words linger in my brain the entire drive home. I give noncommittal answers to Knox, while what Coach said is on repeat.
Don’t fuck it up.
Talk about freaking me out. I am bound to fuck it up. I’m
not perfect. Not even close. And I have a feeling I will do exactly that at one point or another during the season.
“What the hell did Coach say to you to put you in such a funk?” Knox demands.
I send him a look, afraid to repeat anything out loud. “Just tried to pump me up.”
Knox grins, the cocky bastard. “I take it that it wasn’t a success.”
“More like freaked me out.”
“Well, put his words out of your head. Don’t let him get to you.” He pauses, and I know he’s thinking about how this sort of thing always messes with me. “We have a game this weekend. It’s going to be great.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so,” Knox says firmly. “Think about something else. Think about…the pretty girl you ran into on campus today.”
My defenses shoot up. “How do you know I ran into a pretty girl?”
“Because you always do, asshole. It’s that face of yours.” Knox slaps me on the shoulder, making me flinch.
The only pretty girl I ran into just so happens to be related to my best friend and roommate. Blair’s face pops into my brain, her tantalizing words now on repeat, replacing Coach’s.
I’ve wondered what it would be like with you too.
Seriously, what the fuck is she saying? She had a crush on me a while ago, but was she implying she’s still into me?
Hard to believe, but I don’t think she was lying when she said that.
Wild.
Not like we can act on any urges we might have for each other. Knox would chop my nuts off with a machete and
make me wear them around my neck as a reminder of what not to do. Blair is untouchable with a capital U. I’d be an idiot to even consider getting involved with her.
And when I mean involved, I use the word loosely. I am not the commitment type. I just don’t have the time and most of the women I’ve spent time with aren’t out for a real commitment either. They just want to have a good time. Same as me.
Relationships aren’t my thing. I’m not ready to have one. I don’t know if I ever will be. I saw the way my parents went at each other’s throats every chance they got through their divorce. My older brother got the hell out of the house the moment he graduated from high school and never looked back. I did pretty much the same. Dad will show up to my football games from time to time, but I don’t talk to him much beyond those encounters. We’re not close. I’m holding on to too many old memories of him yelling at us, drunk off his ass and pissed at the world.
No thanks. I’m doing my best to make my life positive. I don’t need his negativity to bring me down.
“You all right?” Knox asks, once I’ve pulled into our assigned spot in the apartment parking lot. “You seem…preoccupied.”
“Just got a lot on my mind.” Which is the damn truth. I feel like I’m going to cave under the pressure at any moment. From school. Football. A hot girl I shouldn’t fantasize about.
I need to let loose. I need to get out and forget about my troubles, even for a few hours. “Want to go to Logan’s tonight?”
“Nah.” He makes a face. “Still not over what happened last time I went.”
When he saw that one girl and she sat on his lap after he
tried to snag the same chair she wanted. I think he’s got a thing for her. The girl who works at the bookstore or whatever. She’s cute. Not necessarily my type, though I try to rile him up by acting like I’m interested.
Sometimes I’m a prick, but it’s all in fun. Everyone on the team loves to give each other shit.
“Your loss,” I tell him, envisioning a cold, crisp bottle of beer waiting for me at the bar. Hopefully a cute little blonde will be there too, one who doesn’t have green eyes or the last name Maguire.
That would be the best scenario. Doesn’t matter how much I’m interested in her, I can’t have her. Blair Maguire may as well have a sign across her face that says…
Hands off.
Girls, we are so going to the bar! Logan’s, watch out, here we come!” Rita starts clapping, her red nails flashing every time her hands fly through the air.
Cheyenne yells out an extra loud whoop, making me jump. “Yes, girl, YES. I am so sick of sitting in the library studying every night.”
Please. They don’t sit in the library every night. Every time I’m in there, I never see them, but the building is large and multi-leveled, so maybe they are?
Huh. Doubtful.
“Let’s go find some men tonight,” Cheyenne finishes with a big grin.
“Stat!” Rita adds because she’s been on a Grey’s Anatomy kick and likes to talk as if she works at a hospital every chance she gets.
I watch them with trepidation in my chest, wondering how I can get out of this. Don’t get me wrong, I like Rita and Cheyenne, but they are so high energy while I’m…
Not.
Playing by the Rules 17
I leave that sort of behavior to my sister Ruby. She’s full of it. Loud and obvious and wanting all the attention, all the time. She would adore Rita and Cheyenne. They’d become fast friends. Maybe I should call her.
“Blair!” I nearly jump out of my chair when Cheyenne screams in my face. “You’re going with us, right?”
My gaze goes to Cheyenne, then to Rita, and back to Cheyenne. I can tell from the looks on their faces, they won’t take no for an answer.
But I gotta try anyway.
“I don’t know…” I let my voice trail off, grimacing slightly. “I have a test tomorrow.”
“Oh, please.” Rita rolls her eyes, reaching for me. “You’ll have to take a bazillion tests. That first one of the semester doesn’t count.”
I back away from her grabby red claws. “It definitely counts.”
“Come on, Blair. Please?” Cheyenne puts her hands together like she’s begging. Praying. With those big blue eyes and the subtle lash extensions that she’s currently batting at me, she’s hard to resist. “It’ll be so much fun.”
“Plus, maybe you can introduce us to your brother’s teammates.” Rita and Cheyenne share a look. “They’re always at Logan’s.”
My heart sinks. They’re using me to get closer to the guys. Not because they want to hang out with me and get to know me better.
Ouch.
“I don’t really talk to them,” I start, but Rita cuts me off.
“Please. Girl, you talk to them all the time. Knox Maguire is your brother. We want the connection. I’ve been dying to meet that dude since freshman year, but he doesn’t pay any attention to me.”
“Maybe if you let him feel you up in a bathroom at a frat party he might notice you,” Cheyenne jokes, making me wince.
I don’t want to think about my brother feeling anyone up in any sort of bathroom, eww.
“God, Chey! I let one frat boy feel me up in his bathroom and I never hear the end of it!” Rita goes stomping off, leaving Cheyenne and me alone in our tiny living room.
Cheyenne shrugs, her eyes a little wild. “I didn’t mean to make her mad.”
Before I can tell her not to worry about it, Cheyenne is bolting down the hallway, banging on Rita’s closed bedroom door. “Come on, Rita! Let me in! I was just kidding!”
I scoot past her and continue down the hall, locking myself in my room and collapsing on my double bed with a loud sigh. Thank God I have my own bedroom, so I can lock myself away from the chaos that is my roommates.
They love each other fiercely, but they’re like sisters, which means they fight fiercely too. And witnessing their chaotic relationship makes me miss my sister.
Grabbing my phone, I FaceTime Ruby. She picks up on the second ring, though her face doesn’t appear. I can tell she’s in her dorm room. I see movement in the background and I assume it’s her roommate, Becca.
“What are you doing?” I ask, frowning when I hear something crash.
Ruby’s head pops up, a big smile on her face. My sister is gorgeous. Her sparkling personality makes her even more appealing. Guys have been chasing her since she was twelve.
Twelve.
She’s never interested in any of them. Not really. She’s dated guys, here and there, but it never turns into anything,
which always makes our dad happy. He thinks we’re all too young to settle down—well, us girls at least.
Doesn’t matter that he got with Mom when she was only eighteen and they’re still blissfully happy, but whatever.
“Sorry, I just dropped my pencil box and it spilled everywhere,” Ruby says.
Ruby likes to draw. She’s always sketching something, though she insists it’s just a hobby and she can’t make a business out of it. I beg to differ, but she doesn’t listen to me ever. I’m just her big sister, always trying to tell her what to do, according to her.
“How’s it going?” I smile at her, watching as she settles into her desk chair, brushing the wild blonde strands away from her face.
“Good! Busy.” She glances over her shoulder, waving at her roommate before she turns to face the camera once more. “I hate it here.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“I’m bored. Campus life is dead. I thought it would have more of a nightlife but nope. The sidewalks roll up at nine and there’s nothing going on, ever. Plus,” she leans her head closer to her phone, “I don’t like my roommate.”
“Ruby!” I press my lips together, hating how loud I just was. I’m reminding myself of my roommates. “Isn’t she right there?”
“She already left. And it doesn’t really matter. I don’t think she likes me either.” Ruby leans back, exhaling loudly. “I didn’t think it would feel so good, confessing that. It’s like a weight just lifted off my shoulders.”
I shake my head. “Is it really that bad there?”
“Worse than you can imagine. At least for me. You know how I am. But enough about me. I always make it about me.”
This is not a lie. Ruby used to be one of the most selfcentered people I knew, though that might have something to do with the fact that she’s my little sister and was always in my business, in my stuff, in my face, all the damn time when we were younger. But at her core, she cares about others. Her circle is small, just like mine. Just like Knox’s.
I prefer a smaller group of friends. People I adore and trust. People who don’t care that once upon a time, our dad was famous. My brother and sister feel the same way.
“What are you up to? How’s school? How are your roommates? Met any cute guys yet?” Ruby asks.
“Nothing much, school is going well, my roommates are okay, and no, I haven’t met any cute guys yet.” Cam doesn’t count. I’ve known him for a while, so I can’t put him in the ‘just met’ category.
“Why aren’t you hanging out with Knox and all his friends?”
I roll my eyes. “Because the majority of them are ridiculous. And Knox doesn’t want me hanging around them. He’s afraid I might run off and hook up with one of them, as if I have no control over myself.”
“Like Cam?”
Her question hangs heavy in the air, and as always, I regret that I ever told her I was interested in him.
“That was years ago. I’m over him,” I say, but I sound unconvincing even to myself.
“Liar.” Ruby laughs when I give her the finger. “It’s okay that you still have a crush on him, Blair.”
“Not when he doesn’t notice me.” I think about what he said earlier, and what I told him. I then spill my guts to my little sister, giving her an entire replay of the encounter that I had with Cam at the library.
“So, he actually said he’s thought about having sex with you?” Ruby sounds scandalized.
“And then I basically admitted the same thing.” I pause, all my insecurities rushing through me. “Was that a mistake?”
“No, not at all. I’m proud of you. How long have you been lusting after this guy again? And you only just now put it out there?”
“Stop. It’s not easy for me to say stuff like that.” I’m embarrassed. I feel like a child with a crush on some unattainable teen idol or something. Which is fairly accurate when it comes to my relationship with Cam. He feels completely out of reach. He always has.
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to lift you up. It’s been a long time that you’ve felt this way about Camden Fields. I feel like you’re finally making progress.”
“Nothing happened, Ruby. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
“We all have to start somewhere, and this is your start with Cam. When do you think you’ll see him again?”
“I don’t know.” I think about the roomies going to Logan’s. “There’s a chance I could run into him tonight if I go out with the girls.”
“For all you know, you might still be on his mind. Right now is the perfect time to go out and hopefully run into him.”
“I feel like Rita and Cheyenne only want to drag me along with them because of my connection to Knox.” And I don’t like feeling used. It’s not fun. Not at all.
“So? Use that to your advantage to get closer to Cam,” Ruby points out.
“Right, only for Knox to ruin it because he’s so overprotective that he’ll drive Cam away forever.” I sound morose. I
am morose. Our brother has this way of ruining everything when it comes to guys.
Poor Knox. I know he means well, but he’s too much sometimes.
Okay fine, most of the time.
“Ugh, forget him. He can say whatever he wants, but ultimately, he doesn’t control our lives, right? I say go for it. Let Cam know you’re interested.”
“But that’s so…” Scary. Intimidating. Terrifying.
All the above.
“It’s what you need to do,” Ruby says firmly. “How else will Cam know you’re interested, if you don’t tell him?”
I wish I had even an ounce of Ruby’s confidence.
“Maybe he isn’t interested. Maybe he just said that for… whatever reason. I don’t know what to think. But it’s hard for me to put myself out there like that. I mean, he’s the freaking college quarterback, and he’s gorgeous. Everyone knows who he is. He could have whomever he wants, and I’m just—”
“You’re Blair fucking Maguire, that’s who you are. Have you taken a good look at yourself lately? You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re gorgeous. Cam would be an idiot not to be interested in you.”
We may have fought like cats and dogs when we were younger, but Ruby is the best hype woman ever. “I wish you were here right now.”
“Me too. I’d make you talk to him tonight. I’d probably make you text him right now, if I was with you. In fact, you should totally do that.”
“I don’t even have his number,” I mutter.
“One text to our brother and you’d have it.”
“Along with a ton of questions I don’t want to answer.”
“True that.” Ruby’s smile is soft and encouraging. “Just
go out with your wild roommates to that bar and see what happens. You might run into him.”
“And then again, I probably won’t. Or he’ll be there surrounded by a ton of gorgeous girls and he won’t even notice me.”
“Please. How could he not notice you?”
After I get off the call with Ruby, I venture out of my bedroom to find Rita and Cheyenne in Rita’s bedroom, Cheyenne lounging on the bed on her phone, while Rita searches through her closet. I stand in the open doorway, take a deep breath and announce, “I’ll go out with you tonight.”
Rita whirls around, a giant smile on her face. “You will? That’s great!”
“But I have one condition.”
“What is it?” Cheyenne asks.
“I’d love to introduce you to my brother.” Not really. That sounds like torture. But I have to say this. “But I can’t guarantee it’s going to happen. Or that he’ll even be there.”
“He goes to Logan’s a lot,” Rita says with complete confidence. “And hey, I get it if you can’t help us meet Knox. He’s a popular guy.”
“Right.” Was that an insult? “Let’s just go to Logan’s and have fun, and if we run into Knox and his friends, well, lucky us, right?”
“Lucky us!” Rita does a little shimmy, waving her hands above her head. “We need to pre-party first. I refuse to spend too much money on alcohol.”
“Perfect. I’ll go make us some shots.” Cheyenne is off the bed and out of the room in seconds.
“Hey, Blair,” Rita calls when I’m about to turn and head back to my bedroom.
I glance over my shoulder. “Yeah?”
“Thanks. I know sometimes we can be…a lot. And you probably think we’re just using you for your connection to the football team, but I swear we’re not. We like you.” Rita smiles and I smile in return. “You’re a true homie though, going out with us tonight.”
“Thanks for including me,” I tell her before I go to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me and leaning against it.
I want to believe Rita, but there’s a tiny part of me that makes me think she is just using me to get closer to Knox. It’s happened before. Actually, it used to happen all the time when we were in high school. That’s the main reason I like keeping my friend circle small.
Hopefully, my instincts are wrong.
Ishould’ve never gone to Logan’s.
I’m here with Derek and a bunch of other guys from the team, including Ace, my backup quarterback. The kid is amazing. Fast. Not afraid to run the ball if he can’t find anyone to throw it to. He’s taller than me, wider than me, and charismatic as shit. I refuse to let this kid make me feel less than, but it’s tough. The one thing to my advantage?
I’m on top of my game and set to play the best season of my football career.
Ace will get his shot—after me. He’s a sophomore and set to take over my position next season. He’s currently chomping at the bit to take my place right now, but the fucker needs to learn his place. Luckily, my teammates feel the same way, and we’ve been giving him endless shit all night.
Oh, and I’m well on my way to being buzzed. Drinking my third beer and not in the mood to stop. Girls come around the table every few minutes, all of them overly flirta- around the table every few minutes, all of them overly
tious and dressed to kill. As in, showing off all of their physical assets in the hopes to entice us.
flirtatious and dressed to kill. As in, showing off all of their physical assets in the hopes to entice us.
Not cappin’ on them, just stating facts.
We’ve got groupies, and most of the time, I’m interested. In fact, ninety-nine percent of the time I’d already have my sights set on one and I’d currently be trying to figure out a way to get her to leave with me. A hookup in the back seat of the Challenger happens more often than not, or I go back to her place. It’s a rare occasion that I bring her back to my apartment. I don’t like doing that.
They don’t deserve to see my inner sanctum. Worse, they get kind of weird and start having expectations. Like maybe they could move in.
What the actual fuck?
For real, I had that happen once, which Knox thought was hilarious. The fucker. He doesn’t really bring girls back to our apartment either.
The groupies tonight though? They’re not interested in me—they’re all swarming Ace. It doesn’t matter that he’s not twenty-one yet and currently drinking copious amounts of beer, thanks to the fake ID he has on him that says he’s from Louisiana. He doesn’t even have an accent.
The asshole is from Washington state for God’s sake.
The groupies aren’t bothered by the fact that he’s only twenty either. The girls are digging him, and I just don’t get it. I guess he’s decent looking. Doesn’t seem to say much to them, just grin like an idiot, but they’re still fawning all over him. The rest of us are giving him grief and he takes it all good-naturedly, which is even more annoying. I play along and steadily sip from my beer, my mood shifting. Darkening the longer the night goes on. I hate being a jealous fuck but…
I’m a jealous fuck.
Until I see her.
The moment I lay eyes on Blair Maguire, every hair on my body feels like it’s standing on end, completely aware of her presence. My heart rate kicks up and there’s a sense of relief, knowing that she’s here.
Within reach.
Not sure when she slipped into Logan’s, but there she is, as beautiful as I’ve ever seen her. Her blonde hair cascades down her back in soft waves, and she can’t stop smiling and laughing at whatever the other two girls she’s with are doing and saying. She’s currently wearing baggy jeans—the girls rarely wear skinny jeans anymore, which I always appreciated because I’m an ass man—and a cropped black T-shirt that shows off the flat expanse of her stomach and emphasizes the generous curve of her tits.
I scrub my hand over my face, like maybe my vision is blurry, and it’ll change, but nope. There she is. Fucking gorgeous and oblivious to my existence.
All thoughts of the rules I made for myself in regards to Blair Maguire fly right out the window at seeing her. I want to go talk to her.
Touch her.
Shit.
“What’s your problem?” Derek slaps my chest, and I glare at him, wishing he’d leave me the hell alone. “What, are you jealous of Ace getting all the ladies’ attention?”
“Of course not,” I mutter.
“Oh. Because I am. That little fucker doesn’t deserve it.” Only Derek would call the six-foot-five, two-hundred-andten-pound backup quarterback little. That’s because Derek is bigger than Ace. “With that pretty boy face and the awe shucks attitude.”
“He’s fine.” I wave a dismissive hand.
“He thinks he’s the shit.”
“He is the shit.” I don’t bother denying it. What’s the point?
“You’re better.”
“For now. Once I’m gone, he’s still got two years to go, and he’s already impressive.” I hate feeling subpar, but I’m wallowing in it tonight, something I rarely do. But shit, when you’ve got a constant reminder that you’re on the way out and your replacement is dying for you to leave?
It’s hard not to focus on that.
“While you’ll be in the NFL, number one in the league and winning championships,” Derek says with way more confidence than I’m feeling.
“Sounds like a dream, bud.” I grab my bottle and bring it to my lips, tipping my head back and taking a swallow, my gaze never straying from Blair.
She glances over at me, our gazes locking, and I don’t look away. Neither does she.
It’s like I can’t. We can’t.
I set the bottle on the table in front of me as a slow smile curves her lips, and we’re still staring at each other. I feel that smile all the way down to my balls. I smile in return and she looks away, like she’s embarrassed or some shit.
Come on. I’ve known her for years. She needs to get over it and come talk to me.
“Oh fuck, there’s Maguire’s sister.” The panic in Derek’s voice makes me chuckle.
“So?”
“I don’t even want to be near her. Knox will kill us.” Derek ducks his head as if he’s in hiding.
“No, he won’t,” I drawl. I stare blatantly at Blair, wishing she’d look in my direction again. Her friends keep glancing