TV WEEK Sauk Valley Media • March 15 - 21, 2015
CHECK OUT ALL THE NEW GAMES & PUZZLES INSIDE THIS EDITION!
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David Paid In the Heat of Night Running 2015 Los Angeles Marathon. (N) (Live) In the Heat of Night In the Heat of Night In the Heat of Night (7:15) Ed Slott’s Retirement Roadmap Deepak Chopra-God (10:45) Deepak Chopra: The Future of God Encore Programming Where in Chicago? Kid Dr. Wayne Dyer: I Can See Clearly Now ’ (CC) Suze Orman’s Financial Solutions for You Iowa Outdoors (CC) Daniel O’Donnell Music & Mem Tiger Tiger Sesame White MotorWk Autoline Kitchen McL’ghlin Between Religion Biz Kid$ Euromaxx Focus Steves Festival Favorites
In the Heat of Night
Blue Bloods (CC) Blue Bloods (CC) Chicago’s Lakefront ’ Magic Moments: The Best of 50s Pop ’ Texas Tenors Festival Favorites The Ci
Criminal Minds (CC) Criminal Minds (CC) Criminal Minds (CC) Criminal Minds ’ Bates Motel (CC) The Returned (CC) Nightwatch ’ (CC) Nightwatch ’ (CC) Nightwatch ’ (CC) Intervention “Nicole” Intervention “Sylvia” Mad Men (CC) ››› “A League of Their Own” (1992) Tom Hanks. (CC) ›››› “Jaws” (1975, Horror) Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw. (CC) ››› “Jurassic Park” (1993) Sam Neill, Laura Dern. (CC) The Walking Dead Untamed and Uncut To Be Announced To Be Announced Best New Restaurant Matchmaker Newlyweds: The First Year Charm Thicker Than Water Thicker Than Water Thicker Than Water Shahs of Sunset Shahs of Sunset Housewives/Atl. Housewives/Atl. CMT Music ’ (7:55) Hot 20 Countdown (CC) Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Cops Rel. Comedy (7:16) ›› “Tower Heist” (2011) Ben Stiller. (CC) (10:01) › “Me, Myself & Irene” (2000) Jim Carrey. (12:38) › “Good Luck Chuck” (2007) (CC) (2:44) ›› “Couples Retreat” (2009, Comedy) Vince Vaughn. (CC) Tosh.0 SportsNet SportsNet SportsNet SportsNet Paid Paid Body Paid 21 Day AntiWomen’s College Basketball Israeli Black Insd. MLS Soccer: Whitecaps FC at Fire Freestyle Tomorrow In Touch David Sexy In Search Paid Sexy Game 21 DAY Hair 21 Day Murdoch Mysteries The Pinkertons (N) ›› “White Lion” (2010) Jamie Bartlett. “Englishman” J. Osteen In Touch Bering Sea Gold ’ Bering Sea Gold ’ Collectors Lost-To Be Announced Doc Tmrrwlan Friends ››› “Monsters, Inc.” (2001) Rebels Mickey Liv-Mad. Dog Austin Austin K.C. K.C. Liv-Mad. Liv-Mad. Jessie ’ Jessie ’ I Didn’t I Didn’t Do It (CC) Girl Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian ›› “The Princess Diaries” (2001) ›› “He’s Just Not That Into You” (2009) Ben Affleck. “Bridesmaids” SportsCenter (N) Outside Reporters SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) Basketball College Basketball College Basketball (4:15) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) NHRA Drag Racing SportsCenter (N) Outside Reporters Basketball SportsCenter (N) College Basketball Bubble Watch (N) (Live) (CC) MLS Soccer: Revolution at New York City (6:00) ››› “Hook” (1991) Robin Williams ›› “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” (2011) ››› “Independence Day” (1996) Will Smith, Bill Pullman. “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” “Hunger Games” Contessa Heartland Pioneer Trisha’s Southern Giada Guy’s Brunch at Pioneer Farm The Kitchen Best. Ever. Diners, Drive Diners Diners Diners Diners All-Star Academy Buffy, Vampire Slay Mother Mother Mother Mother ›› “The Day the Earth Stood Still” (2008) ›› “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” (2011) Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel. ››› “The Amazing Spider-Man” (2012) Middle Middle Gold Girls Gold Girls Gold Girls Gold Girls “A Wish Come True” (2015) ’ ‘G’ (CC) “Portrait of Love” (2014) Jason Dohring. ‘G’ “Stranded in Paradise” (2014) ‘G’ (CC) “Puppy Love” (2012, Romance) ’ ‘G’ (CC) Hunters Hunters Hunters Hunters Hunters Hunters Hunters Hunters Property Brothers Property Brothers Property Brothers Property Brothers Property Brothers Property Brothers Property Brothers America’s Book America’s Book America’s Book America’s Book America’s Book Mountains Mountains Mountains Mountains Mountains American Pickers ’ Amazing Jeremiah J. Osteen Skincare Unsolved Mysteries Born in the Wild Born in the Wild “A Sister’s Nightmare” (2013) ‘14’ (CC) “The Surrogacy Trap” (2013) Adam Reid. Movie Scary 3 Catfish: The TV Catfish: The TV Catfish: The TV Catfish: The TV (11:45) Catfish: The TV Show ’ Catfish: The TV Broke Broke Broke Game Ridic. Ridic. Ridic. Ridic. Rangers Sponge. Sponge. Sponge. Sponge. Sponge. Teenage Mut. Henry Nicky Bella Thunder Thunder Nicky Nicky Sam & Bella Nicky Henry Thunder Sponge. Sponge. ›› “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” Snapped Snapped Snapped Snapped Snapped Snapped ’ Snapped ’ Snapped Snapped Paid Paid Off Road Engine Truck Muscle I Am Dale Earnhardt ’ Rescue Bar Rescue ’ Bar Rescue ’ Bar Rescue ’ Bar Rescue ’ Bar Rescue ’ Bar Rescue ’ Twi. Zone ››› “Predator” (1987) Arnold Schwarzenegger. ›› “Predator 2” (1990) Danny Glover, Gary Busey. ›››› “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” (1991) Linda Hamilton ›› “The Punisher” (2004, Action) Thomas Jane. Friends Friends ›› “Funny People” (2009) Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen. ›› “It’s Complicated” (2009) Meryl Streep. ››› “The Family Man” (2000) Nicolas Cage. ››› “Catch Me if You Can” (2002) Paid Paid Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Who Do You Who Do You Who Do You Law & Order ’ Law & Order ’ Law & Order ’ Law & Order ’ Law & Order ’ Law & Order ’ ››› “Spider-Man” (2002) Tobey Maguire. (CC) ››› “The Dark Knight Rises” (2012) Christian Bale. Teen Teen Teen Teen Teen Teen Teen Teen Teen Teen Teen Teen Regular Regular Regular Regular Regular Regular Regular Regular Regular Regular Mysteries-Museum Mysteries-Museum Mysteries- Cas. Expedition Unknown Food Paradise (CC) Food Paradise (CC) Tastiest Places Tastiest Places Tastiest Places Tastiest Places Tastiest Places Body Paid Paid Paid Kart Life “Step Up” Kart Life Greenville Greenville Pawn Pawn truTV Top Funniest Jokers Jokers truTV Top Funniest truTV Top Funniest truTV Top Funniest Gold Girls Gold Girls Gold Girls Gold Girls (9:12) Family Feud FamFeud FamFeud FamFeud Soul Man Roseanne Roseanne Roseanne Roseanne Roseanne Roseanne Roseanne Roseanne Gold Girls Gold Girls Gold Girls Gold Girls P. Chris J. Osteen Dig “Pilot” (CC) Dig ›› “No Strings Attached” (2011) Natalie Portman. ›› “Enough” (2002) Jennifer Lopez, Billy Campbell. ›› “Safe Haven” (2013, Romance) Josh Duhamel. Top 20 Count. Top 20 Count. ››› “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” (11:05) Saturday Night Live ’ (CC) (1:45) Saturday Night Live (CC) (2:50) Mob Wives T.I.-Tiny T.I.-Tiny T.I.-Tiny Madea (6:45) ›› “White House Down” (2013) Broken Trail (CC) (10:35) Broken Trail (CC) (12:10) ›› “White House Down” (2013) iTV. ’ (CC) (2:25) › “Bubble Boy” (2001) (3:55) ›› “Scary Movie 4” Flightplan (6:30) ›› “Grudge Match” (CC) Boxing Sergey Kovalev vs. Jean Pascal. ’ (CC) Fast Real Time, Bill ›› “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” (2012) Ian McKellen. ›› “Something New” (2006) ’ (5:15) › “Tammy” (7:15) ››› “Back to School” (1986) ’ (8:55) ››› “Emma” (1996) ’ (CC) ››› “Moulin Rouge” (2001) ’ (CC) (1:15) ›› “Ender’s Game” (2013) ’ (CC) (3:15) Banshee (CC) (4:15) ›› “The Hangover Part III” (2013) Honey (7:45) ›› “Aeon Flux” (2005) ‘PG-13’ (CC) (9:25) ›› “Last Holiday” (2006) ’ ‘PG-13’ (11:20) “Bridget Jones’s Diary” “Glimpse Inside-Swan” ›› “Aeon Flux” (2005) ‘PG-13’ (4:15) ››› “Inside Llewyn Davis” (2013) (6:25) ›› “Million Dollar Arm” (8:35) ›› “St. Elmo’s Fire” (1985) iTV. ’ Black Sails “XVI.” (11:25) ››› “Gridiron Gang” (2006) (CC) (1:35) Black Sails ’ ›› “Third Person” (2013) Liam Neeson. iTV. ’ (CC) “Million Dollar Arm” “Hateship Loveship” (8:05) “StreetDance 2” (2012) ›› “Be Cool” (2005) John Travolta. ’ ›› “Welcome to the Punch” (1:10) ›› “Hateship Loveship” (2013) ’ ›› “Mighty Joe Young” (1998) ’ (CC) ›› “Be Cool” ’
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Answers on page 5 “MS”
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( 1 The Simpsons Bob’s Burgers Bob The Simpsons Brooklyn Nine-Nine Keeping a princess and Linda go out on Homer becomes the “Sabotage” Jake out of trouble. ’ a date. (N) ’ (CC) new Duffman. (N) believes he’s being ’ (CC) sabotaged. (N) ’ 2 G (CC) ›› “Tears of the Sun” (2003, Action) Bruce Willis, Monica Bellucci, Cole Hauser. (CC) ) Chicago Lakefront Chicago by Boat: The New River Tour + Texas Tenors Mr. Selfridge: A Celebration ’ (CC) , Festival Favorites P
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Madam Secretary “Tamerlane” Elizabeth The Good Wife “Open Source” Prady at- Battle Creek “Man’s Best Friend” A young $ Local 4 News at $ Iowa Basketball tries to prevent a coup. (N) ’ (CC) tacks Gov. Florrick’s record. (N) ’ (CC) girl in possession of heroin. (N) ’ (CC) 10pm (N) 7 Discover WI 7 23 News Update at Ten (CC)
Secrets and Lies “The Sister” Cornell drops another bombshell on Ben. (N) ’ (CC) Family Guy “Dr. C The Last Man on and the Women” Earth Phil works to Meg becomes popu- save human exislar at her new job. tence. (N) ’
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(9:01) Revenge “Retaliation” Natalie ( WQAD News 8 throws a Fourth of July party. (N) ’ (CC) at 10PM Weekend 1 Eyewitness News Local at 10
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& (10:35) Whacked & (11:05) Whacked Out Sports Out Sports ’ ` Blue Bloods “Secrets and Lies”
& (11:35) Jeopardy! ` The Good Wife A stay of execution for a killer.
( (10:35) The Score ( (11:05) The Good 1 Entertainment 1 Scandal The Wife Alicia must Tonight (N) ’ (CC)
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Outlaw Country “Overdrive” (CC) Salem Alden finds himself a target. Bones ’ (CC) Foyle’s War Revisited Behind the scenes of the crime series. Encore Programming Pledge specials. Poirot “Curtain: Poirot’s Final Case” ’ (CC) Favorites Festival Favorites Festival Favorites Salem: Plague
Intervention “Leslie” ’ (CC) Intervention Amy immigrated to Canada. Intervention “Allison” ’ (CC) Intervention DXM; a food addiction. ’ (10:02) Intervention “Gloria” ’ (CC) (11:01) Intervention “Amy P.” ’ (CC) The Walking Dead “Remember” (CC) The Walking Dead “Forget” (CC) The Walking Dead “Spend” (N) (CC) (9:01) Talking Dead (N) (CC) The Walking Dead “Spend” (CC) Comic Book Men The Walking Dead North Woods Law “Takedown” ’ North Woods Law “Judgment Day” (N) North Woods Law “Man VS. Animal” ’ Rocky Mountain Bounty Hunters (N) ’ North Woods Law “Man VS. Animal” ’ Rocky Mountain Bounty Hunters (CC) The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Real Housewives of Atlanta (N) Thicker Than Water “Empty Tank” The Millionaire Matchmaker (N) (CC) What Happens Fashion Queens The Real Housewives of Atlanta Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge ›› “Smokey and the Bandit II” (1980, Comedy) Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field. (CC) Ron White: Salute to the Troops 2014 (CC) (5:57) Tosh.0 (CC) Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy The comic discusses his family. Gabriel Iglesias: Hot and Fluffy (CC) Gabriel Iglesias: I’m Not Fat... I’m Fluffy (10:05) Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy (CC) Gabriel Iglesias Freestyle Cup SportsNet Central Graham Bensinger Poker Night World Poker Tour: Season 13 Heartland Poker Tour SportsNet Central SportsNet Central Fight Sports “Englishman Who Went Up a Hill” ›› “Blue Chips” (1994, Drama) Nick Nolte, Mary McDonnell. (CC) Seinfeld ’ (CC) Seinfeld “The Doll” Cougar Town (CC) Cougar Town (CC) Raising Hope ’ Raising Hope ’ To Be Announced To Be Announced Alaskan Bush People: Revisited “Cold Front” ’ (CC) To Be Announced Alaskan Bush People: Revisited (CC) (6:15) “Bad Hair Day” (2015, Comedy) Laura Marano, Leigh-Allyn Baker. ’ (CC) I Didn’t Do It (N) Liv & Maddie (CC) Jessie ’ (CC) Dog With a Blog Jessie ’ (CC) Austin & Ally (CC) Good Luck Charlie Good Luck Charlie (5:00) ››› “Bridesmaids” (2011, Comedy) Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. Keeping Up With the Kardashians The Royals “Stand and Unfold Yourself” (10:15) The Royals The Prince and Princess struggle. Kardashian Bracketology (N) (Live) (CC) 30 for 30 (N) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (CC) NHRA Drag Racing Amalie Motor Oil Gatornationals. From Gainesville, Fla. (CC) Bracketology (N) (Live) (CC) 30 for 30 (N) 30 for 30 (5:00) ››› “The Hunger Games” (2012) Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson. ›› “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” (2011, Adventure) Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Ian McShane. Joel Osteen (CC) Dr. David Jeremiah Guy’s Grocery Games Guy’s Grocery Games (N) All-Star Academy (N) Cutthroat Kitchen “Scone Home” (N) Food Fortunes “Fund or Famine” All-Star Academy (4:00) “The Amazing Spider-Man” ››› “Marvel’s the Avengers” (2012, Action) Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo. ››› “Marvel’s the Avengers” (2012, Action) Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans. “My Boyfriends’ Dogs” (2014) Erika Christensen, Teryl Rothery. ‘G’ (CC) “Portrait of Love” (2014, Romance) Jason Dohring, Bree Williamson. ’ ‘G’ (CC) The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls Property Brothers “David & Isabella” Beachfront Bargain Beachfront Bargain Caribbean Life (N) Caribbean Life (N) Island Life (CC) Island Life (CC) House Hunters Hunters Int’l Caribbean Life Caribbean Life American Pickers ’ (CC) Ax Men Shelby gets his jetboat back. ’ Ax Men “Log Runners” (N) ’ (CC) Legend of the Superstition Mountains (10:03) Appalachian Outlaws ’ (CC) (11:01) Ax Men “Jet Logged” ’ (CC) “Kept Woman” (2015, Drama) Courtney Ford, Shaun Benson. ‘14’ (CC) “Babysitter’s Black Book” (2015, Drama) Spencer Locke, Perry Reeves. ‘14’ (CC) (10:02) “Kept Woman” (2015, Drama) Courtney Ford, Shaun Benson. ‘14’ (CC) Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ ›› “Jackass 3D” (2010) Johnny Knoxville. More outrageous pranks and stunts. ›› “Jackass 3D” (2010) Johnny Knoxville. More outrageous pranks and stunts. SpongeBob SpongeBob Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Fresh Prince Fresh Prince Friends ’ (CC) (10:36) Friends ’ (11:12) Everybody Loves Raymond ’ Snapped “Kara Lounsbury” Snapped “Teresa Stone” Snapped “Shriya Patel” (N) Snapped “Jane Reth” Snapped Two girls are murdered. Snapped “Shriya Patel” Bar Rescue “Irish Eyes Aren’t Smiling” Bar Rescue “Bromancing the Stone” ’ Bar Rescue “Storming the Castle” (N) Coaching Bad (N) ’ Bar Rescue “A Dash of Bitters” ’ Bar Rescue “Storming the Castle” ’ › “Max Payne” (2008) Mark Wahlberg. A cop hunts those who killed his family. ›› “Spawn” (1997, Fantasy) John Leguizamo, Michael Jai White, Martin Sheen. ›››› “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” (1991) Arnold Schwarzenegger. (4:00) ››› “Catch Me if You Can” ››› “The Blind Side” (2009, Drama) Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron. Premiere. ››› “The Blind Side” (2009, Drama) Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron. Who Do You Think You Are? ’ (CC) Long Island Medium “25 and Counting” Island Medium Island Medium Who Do You Think You Are? (N) (CC) Island Medium Island Medium Who Do You Think You Are? ’ (CC) (3:30) ››› “The Dark Knight Rises” ›››› “The Dark Knight” (2008, Action) Christian Bale, Heath Ledger. Batman battles a vicious criminal known as the Joker. (CC) ›› “Terminator Salvation” (2009) Christian Bale. Regular Show Regular Show The Oblongs (CC) King of the Hill ’ King of the Hill ’ Bob’s Burgers ’ Bob’s Burgers ’ Family Guy (CC) Family Guy (CC) Mike Tyson Aqua Unit Ptrl Unsupervised Greatest Steaks of America (N) (CC) Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations Breaking Borders (Series Premiere) (N) Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations No Reservations (N) (CC) Breaking Borders (CC) truTV Top Funniest Impractical Jokers Impractical Jokers Impractical Jokers Impractical Jokers Barmageddon (10:01) Barmageddon Impractical Jokers Impractical Jokers The Golden Girls (6:43) The Golden Girls ’ (CC) The Golden Girls Love-Raymond Love-Raymond ›› “Exporting Raymond” (2010, Documentary) (CC) Friends ’ (CC) Friends ’ (CC) Modern Family ’ Modern Family ’ Modern Family ’ Modern Family ’ Modern Family ’ Modern Family ’ Modern Family ’ Modern Family ’ ›› “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” (2008) Harrison Ford. (5:30) ›› “Madea’s Family Reunion” (2006) Tyler Perry, Blair Underwood. ’ Love & Hip Hop Diamond falls for Rich. ›› “Barbershop” (2002, Comedy) Ice Cube, Anthony Anderson. ’ ›› “Madea’s Family Reunion” (2006) (5:20) ›› “Flightplan” (2005) iTV. ’ ››› “Thunderball” (1965, Action) Sean Connery, Claudine Auger. iTV. ’ (CC) (5:15) › “Tammy” (2014) ’ ‘R’ (CC) The Jinx: The Life and Deaths Girls (N) ’ (CC) VICE ’ (CC) › “Vehicle 19” (2013) Paul Walker, Naima McLean. ’ (CC) (7:25) › “The Marine” (2006, Action) John Cena. ’ (CC) Shameless “Uncle Carl” ’ (CC) Episodes ’ (CC) House of Lies ’ Shameless “Carl’s First Sentencing” (N) (4:50) ›› “Million Dollar Arm” (2014) Black Sails “XVI.” (iTV) ’ (CC) Black Sails “XVI.” (iTV) ’ (CC) (5:00) ›› “Be Cool” (2005) ’ (CC) ››› “Seven Psychopaths” (2012) Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken. ’ (CC)
(9:15) ›› “White House Down” (2013, Action) Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx. iTV. ’ (CC) › Bubble Boy Looking (N) (CC) Girls ’ (CC) Last Week To. The Jinx: The Life (11:15) Looking ’ (11:45) Girls (CC) ››› “16 Blocks” (2006) Bruce Willis, Mos Def. ’ (CC) (10:45) Forbidden Science Feature 2: Seductive Property ’ House of Lies (N) Episodes ’ (CC) Shameless “Carl’s First Sentencing” ’ House of Lies ’ Episodes ’ (CC) ››› “Gridiron Gang” (2006, Drama) The Rock, Xzibit. iTV. ’ (CC) (11:10) Black Sails “XVI.” (iTV) ’ (CC) ›› “Sinister” (2012, Horror) Ethan Hawke, Vincent D’Onofrio. ’ (CC) ›› “The To Do List” (2013) ’ (CC)
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CBS This Morning Deal Varied The Price Is Right Paid Young & Restless Bold The Talk Varied Jdg Judy Jdg Judy Inside Ed. Insider The Dr. Oz Show 4 News CBS Today Rachael Ray News Days of our Lives Queen Latifah P. Sands Million. News Jeopardy! News News Good Morning America Live With Kelly The View WQAD News 8 The Chew General Hospital Meredith Vieira Dr. Phil Ellen DeGeneres News ABC Today The Doctors News Paid Days of our Lives Million. Jeopardy! Queen Latifah Dr. Phil News News Good Morning America Live With Kelly The View Rachael Ray The Chew General Hospital The Dr. Oz Show FamFeud FamFeud Jdg Judy Jdg Judy News ABC CBS This Morning Morning Paid The Price Is Right Young & Restless News Bold The Talk Varied Let’s Make a Deal Meredith Vieira Ellen DeGeneres News CBS Robison Creflo D. Varied Programs Blue Bloods Blue Bloods Funny Home Videos Wild Kratt Wild Kratt Curious Curious Tiger Tiger Sesame Street Super Peg Dinosaur Dinosaur Caillou Thomas Sesame Cat in the Curious Curious Arthur Odd Wild Kratt Wild Kratt Curious Curious Tiger Tiger Sesame Street Dinosaur Sid Peg Martha Super Thomas Sesame Cat in the Curious Clifford WordGirl Arthur Wild Kratt Wild Kratt Odd News Varied King/Hill The Doctors Steve Harvey Wendy Williams The Real Law & Order: SVU Law & Order: SVU Wendy Williams Steve Harvey FamFeud FamFeud Mike Mike Eyewitness News in the Morning J. Meyer Paid Raymond Mother Judge Mathis Divorce Divorce Paid Paid Jerry Springer Maury Steve Harvey Two Men Two Men Curious Curious Tiger Tiger Sesame Street Varied Programs Charlie Rose Varied Programs Super Odd Sesame Cat in the Curious C. Rose Dog Varied Dog Varied Criminal Minds Criminal Minds CSI Varied CSI Varied Criminal Varied Criminal Minds Varied Programs Paid Paid Day After ››› “Escape From New York” (1981) › “Texas Rangers” (2001, Western) (CC) ››› “Assault on Precinct 13” (2005) Ethan Hawke. ››› “We Were Soldiers” (2002, War) Mel Gibson. (CC) ›› “Stealth” (2005, Action) Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel. ››› “We Were Soldiers” (2002, War) Mel Gibson. (CC) ›› “The Day After Tomorrow” (2004) Dennis Quaid. ›› “Van Helsing” (2004) Hugh Jackman. › “Jaws the Revenge” (1987, Horror) (CC) ›› “The Legend of Zorro” (2005, Adventure) Antonio Banderas. ›› “On Deadly Ground” (1994) Steven Seagal. ››› “American Gangster” (2007) Russell Crowe “Above the Law” › “Death Wish 3” (1985) Charles Bronson. ›› “Ladder 49” (2004, Drama) Joaquin Phoenix. (CC) ››› “Die Hard 2” (1990, Action) Bruce Willis. ›› “Out for Justice” (1991, Action) ›› “Green Zone” (2010) Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear. ›› “Snakes on a Plane” (2006, Horror) ››› “Air Force One” (1997) Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman. ››› “Gladiator” (2000) Russell Crowe. (CC) The Crocodile Hunter Animal Cops Pit Bulls-Parole Pit Bulls-Parole The Haunted The Haunted Monsters Inside Me Swamp Wars To Be Announced To Be Announced Shahs Shahs of Sunset Southern Charm Southern Charm Southern Charm Southern Charm Charm Vanderpump Rules Vanderpump Rules Vanderpump Rules Vanderpump Rules Vanderpump Rules Real Housewives Real Housewives Real Housewives Real Housewives Real Housewives Real Housewives Newlyweds: Where Are Newlyweds: The First Year Vanderpump Rules Vanderpump Rules Vanderpump Rules Vanderpump Rules Southern Charm Shahs of Sunset Shahs of Sunset Best New Restaurant Housewives/Atl. Housewives/Atl. Housewives/Atl. Housewives/NYC Housewives/NYC Housewives/NYC Housewives/NYC Newlyweds Real Housewives of Real Housewives of Real Housewives Real Housewives Real Housewives Real Housewives Blood, Sweat Blood, Sweat Blood, Sweat Blood, Sweat Blood, Sweat Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian CMT Music CMT Music Varied Programs Yes, Dear Yes, Dear Varied Programs Paid Paid Daily Nightly South Pk South Pk Varied (:16) Movie Varied Programs Futurama Futurama Futurama Futurama Nightly Daily SportsNet SportsNet SportsNet SportsNet Kap & Haugh SportsNet Varied Programs Sports Intellig. King/Hill There There Steve Wilkos Show Cheaters Cheaters King King Paid Steve Wilkos Show Paid Married Married Bill Cunningham Rules Rules Cops Rel. Cops Rel. J. Meyer Paid Varied Programs Pirates Mickey Mickey Doc Doc Sofia Sofia Wil. West Mickey Mickey Doc Doc Varied Programs Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian Kardashian E! News Varied Programs Sex-City Sex-City Sex-City Varied Programs (6:30) SportsCenter SportsCenter SportsCenter SportsCenter SportsCenter SportsCenter SportsCenter Outside Insiders NFL Live Around Pardon SportsCenter (5:00) Mike & Mike First Take His & Hers First Take Varied Programs Olber. Question Around Pardon ’70s ’70s Middle 700 Club The 700 Club Gilmore Girls Gilmore Girls Middle Middle Middle Middle Reba Reba Reba Reba Boy... Boy... Boy... Varied Paid Paid Paid Barbecue Varied Programs Cupcake Wars Chopped Pioneer Contessa Secrets 30-Minute Giada Giada Contessa Contessa Pioneer Varied Programs (6:00) Movie Movie Varied Programs Movie Varied Programs Mother Mother Mother Mother Varied Programs Two Men Two Men Varied Programs Gold Girls Gold Girls Gold Girls Gold Girls Home & Family Home & Family Little House/Prairie Little House/Prairie Little House/Prairie The Waltons The Waltons Varied Programs Hunters Hunt Intl Varied Programs Appalachian Outlaws Appalachian Outlaws Appalachian Outlaws Appalachian Outlaws Appalachian Outlaws Appalachian Outlaws Swamp People ’ Swamp People ’ Swamp People ’ Swamp People ’ Swamp People ’ Cajun Cajun Cajun Cajun Cajun Cajun American American American American American American American American American American American American Cnt. Cars Cnt. Cars Cnt. Cars Cnt. Cars Clash of the Gods Clash of the Gods Clash of the Gods Clash of the Gods Clash of the Gods Clash of the Gods Clash of the Gods American Pickers ’ American Pickers ’ American Pickers ’ American Pickers ’ MysteryQuest (CC) MysteryQuest (CC) MysteryQuest (CC) MysteryQuest (CC) Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pawn Pirate Island Pirate outpost Isle Saint Marie. True Caribbean Pirates Infamous seafarers. Return of the Pirates The modern pirate. ’ Jesse James’ Hidden Treasure ’ (CC) Rumrunners, Moonshiners and Bootleggers American Pickers ’ Unsolved Mysteries Frasier Frasier Frasier Frasier Frasier Frasier Mother Mother Grey’s Anatomy Grey’s Anatomy Judge Judge Varied Programs Music Varied Programs Prince Prince Prince Fresh Prince Varied Programs Sponge. PAW PAW Umizoomi Wally Wally Bubble Bubble Umizoomi PAW PAW Blaze Sponge. Sponge. Sponge. Roaches Sponge. Sponge. iCarly iCarly Sam & Thunder My Wife My Wife My Wife My Wife Varied Programs Paid Paid Varied Programs Twi. Zone Varied Programs Married Married Varied Programs Cleveland American American American American Fam. Guy King King King Friends Friends Friends Friends Seinfeld Seinfeld 19 Kids Varied Programs Hoard-Buried My 600-Lb. Life What Not to Wear Not Wear Varied Medium Varied Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Say Yes Varied Programs Charmed Charmed Supernatural Supernatural Supernatural Bones Varied Programs Teen Gumball Gumball Movie Tom/ Tom/ Uncle Uncle Clarence Steven Teen Teen Adven Adven Gumball Gumball Steven Uncle Teen Teen Paid Paid No Reservation No Reservation Varied Programs Food Paradise Bizarre Foods Food Food Bizarre Foods Paid Paid World’s Dumbest... World’s Dumbest... Varied Programs Paid Paid Hillbillies Griffith Griffith Varied Griffith Heroes Heroes Heroes G’nsmoke Varied Bonanza Varied Bonanza Varied Walker Varied Walker, Tex. Ranger Walker, Tex. Ranger Varied Programs VH1 Plus Music Morning Buzz Gossip Music Varied Programs (8:55) “Death Becomes Her” (:05) ››› “9 to 5” (1980) Jane Fonda. (:40) ››› “Something’s Gotta Give” (2003) iTV. ’ (12:50) ››› “Sin City” (2005) iTV. ’ (:15) ›› “The Royal Tenenbaums” (2001) (:10) ››› “9 to 5” Master “Talladega Nights:” “Reasonable Doubt” (2014) (CC) “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World” (4:55) “Point Break” (:10) ››› “Point Break” (1991) iTV. ’ (:15) ›› “A Walk in the Clouds” (1995) “Die Another Day” “The Devil’s Own” ›› “Scary Movie 4” (2006) (:25) ››› “Speed” (1994) Keanu Reeves. (:25) ›››› “Goldfinger” (1964) iTV. ’ (:20) ››› “Copycat” (1995) iTV. ’ (CC) (:25) ›› “Next” (2007) iTV. ’ Monsters (:45) ›› “Next” (2007) Nicolas Cage. (CC) (:35) “Bridget Jones’s Diary” “Monsters Uni” (:25) ›› “The Man With the Golden Gun” (:35) ››› “Rocky II” (1979) iTV. ’ (CC) (:35) ››› “From Russia With Love” (CC) Some PrettyPnk (:25) ›› “A View to a Kill” (1985) iTV. ’ (:40) ››› “Pretty in Pink” (1986) iTV. ’ (:20) ›› “Marked for Death” (12:55) ››› “Something’s Gotta Give” (:05) ››› “Captain Phillips” (2013) Tom Hanks. (CC) The Offseason Insurgent ›› “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” Last “A Simple Wish” ’ › “Endless Love” (2014) (CC) (:45) › “10 Things I Hate About You” (CC) ›› “The Man” (2005) ‘PG-13’ ›› “City of Ember” (2008) ’ REAL Sports Gumbel Real Time, Bill ››› “Edge of Tomorrow” (2014) ‘PG-13’ ›› “Phat Girlz” (2006) ‘PG-13’ (:45) ››› “The Fault in Our Stars” (2014) ‘PG-13’ ›› “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters” “Step Up: All In” ’ Head Ovr Rosie O’Donnell “Fast and Furious-Drift” Furious 7 ›› “28 Days” (2000) ‘PG-13’ Furious 7 (:15) › “R.I.P.D.” (2013) Jeff Bridges. (CC) ››› “Mrs. Doubtfire” (1993) ‘PG’ (CC) (:15) › “Getaway” (2013) (CC) Fight Last (6:45) › “Son of the Mask” ’ ›› “Red 2” (2013) Bruce Willis. ‘PG-13’ ›› “Hulk” (2003) Eric Bana. ’ ‘PG-13’ (CC) ›› “Oblivion” (2013) Tom Cruise. ‘PG-13’ (:45) ›› “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” (2006) Mon “Fall to Grace” ‘NR’ ›› “Dear God” (1996) Greg Kinnear. ‘PG’ Insurgent ›› “Step Up: All In” (2014) ‘PG-13’ (CC) ›› “Grudge Match” (2013) ‘PG-13’ (CC) ›› “Something New” (2006) ››› “Batman Begins” (2005) Armaged (:35) ››› “The Player” (1992) ‘R’ (CC) Runner (:45) ›› “The Wedding Planner” (2001) (:35) ›› “The Wolverine” (2013) ‘PG-13’ (:45) ›› “Nutty Professor II: The Klumps” (:35) ›› “You, Me and Dupree” (2006) ’ 16 Blocks (:10) ›› “Promised Land” (2012) ‘R’ (CC) ›› “The Purge” (2013) ’ ‘R’ ›› “The Purge: Anarchy” ‘R’ (:15) ››› “Jarhead” (2005) Jake Gyllenhaal. ‘R’ (CC) (:20) ››› “King Kong” (2005) Naomi Watts. ’ ‘PG-13’ (CC) Honey (:40) › “Baggage Claim” (2013) ‘PG-13’ (:20) ›› “Loser” (2000) (CC) (10:55) › “The Marine” (2006) ›› “Timecop” (1994) ‘R’ (CC) (:15) ›› “Must Love Dogs” (2005) (CC) ››› “Mulholland Dr.” (2001) ’ ‘R’ (CC) “The Good Son” ‘R’ (7:50) ›› “The Wolverine” (2013) ‘PG-13’ › “Vehicle 19” (2013) ‘R’ (CC) (:25) ››› “The Fly” (1986) ‘R’ (:05) ››› “The Thomas Crown Affair” ›› “Closed Circuit” (2013) ‘R’ (:40) ››› “Moulin Rouge” ’ (11:55) “The Skeleton Key” (CC) (:45) ››› “Veronica Mars” (2014) (CC) (6:45) › “King’s Ransom” (CC) ››› “16 Blocks” (2006) (CC) (:15) › “That Awkward Moment” (2014) (:35) ›› “Hell Baby” (2013) ‘R’ “Ender’s Game” ’ “3 Musketeers” “Bending the Rules” (2012) (CC) ›› “Star Trek: Insurrection” (:15) ›› “Lionheart” (1990) ’ ‘R’ (CC) › “The Cold Light of Day” ’ (:45) ››› “Fearless” (2006) Jet Li. (CC) ››› “Kill Bill: Vol. 2” (2004) (:10) ›› “Legally Blonde” (2001) ‘PG-13’ (8:50) ›› “The Words” (2012) ›› “The Fifth Estate” (2013) ’ ‘R’ (CC) (:45) “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” ’ ›› “Legally Blonde” (2001) (:15) ››› “Grosse Pointe Blank” (1997) (6:45) “Bridget Jones’s Diary” (:10) Kobe Bryant’s Muse (CC) “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2” (:15) “Lucky Them” ››› “Lucky Them” (2013) ‘R’ (:35) ›› “Last Holiday” (2006) ’ ‘PG-13’ ››› “Bridget Jones’s Diary” Reaching ›› “When a Man Loves a Woman” ‘R’ Kathleen Madigan Roberta Flack Words (:45) ›› “The Words” (2012) ‘PG-13’ (CC) (:35) ›› “Lionheart” (1990) ’ ‘R’ (CC) ›› “When a Man Loves a Woman” ‘R’ “That Gal... Who Was” “Glimpse Inside-Swan” Cold (6:55) ›› “EDtv” (1999) ’ ‘PG-13’ (CC) (:25) ›› “Legally Blonde” ’ ››› “Inside Llewyn Davis” (:15) ›› “EDtv” (1999) Matthew McConaughey. (CC) “L.A. Confidential” (7:55) ››› “X-Men 2” (2003) iTV. ’ (:10) ›› “Deliver Us From Evil” (2014) (:15) ›› “Lost in Space” (1998) William Hurt. iTV. ’ ›› “Secret Window” (2004) (:10) ›› “Underworld: Evolution” (2006) “Monuments Men” (:35) Black Sails (iTV) ››› “American Hustle” (2013) Christian Bale. (CC) (7:55) ›› “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” (2014) (CC) (:20) ››› “Iron Man 3” (2013) iTV. ’ (3:55) ›› “Thor: The Dark World” (2013) (6:20) “Pompeii” (:05) Black Sails (iTV) (:15) ››› “Glory Road” (2006) Josh Lucas. iTV. ’ (:20) ›› “15 Minutes” (2001) iTV. ’ (CC) ››› “Saving Mr. Banks” (2013) iTV. ’ (:40) ›› “Third Person” (2013) Liam Neeson. iTV. ’ “Daisy: A Hen” (:35) Black Sails (iTV) ›››› “Aliens” (1986) Sigourney Weaver. iTV. ’ (7:55) ›› “Little Nicky” (2000) ›› “Two Girls and a Guy” (10:55) ››› “Analyze This” (:40) ››› “The Professional” (1994) (CC) Holiday (6:50) ›› “Open Season” (CC) (:20) › “Battle of the Year” (:15) ››› “Elysium” (2013) Matt Damon. (:10) ››› “Heat” (1995) Al Pacino, Robert De Niro. iTV. ’ (CC) (:05) ›› “The Lone Ranger” (2013) Johnny Depp. April Rain (:10) ››› “Virgin Tales” ‘NR’ (:40) ›› “Yours, Mine & Ours” (:10) ››› “Neil Young: Heart of Gold” (11:55) ›› “Elizabethtown” (2005) (CC) ››› “Mansfield Park” (1999) ’ ‘PG-13’ (3:55) “Yours, Mine & Ours” ’ Barricade (:35) ›› “Beaches” (1988) Bette Midler. “The First Grader” (:40) ››› “Outrageous Fortune” (1987) (:20) “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom” ’ (:45) ›› “The Night We Never Met” ‘R’ “Complicit” (2013) ’ ‘NR’ (CC) (6:30) “Grassroots” (:10) ››› “Rare Birds” (2001) ‘R’ (CC) ››› “Happy-Go-Lucky” (2008) ‘R’ (CC) ››› “Philomena” (2013) (CC) (:40) › “Stealth Fighter” (1999) (:10) ›› “Hateship Loveship” (2013) ‘R’ ››› “Blaze” ‘R’ “That Darn Cat” ‘PG’ “Importance of Being Earnest” (:40) “2 Days in New York” (2012) ‘R’ (CC) Assault (:40) ››› “Virgin Tales” ‘NR’ (:10) “StreetDance 2” (2012) ’ (:35) ››› “Tape” (2001) ‘R’ (:05) “Age of Heroes” (2011) ’ Return (11:55) “Barricade” (2012) (CC) “Mandela: Long Walk” ›› “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom” (2013) (CC) (9:55) ›› “Be Cool” (2005) John Travolta. (:20) ››› “Nixon” (1995) Anthony Hopkins. ’ ‘R’ (CC)
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Theory ’ (CC) G Modern Family ’ (CC)
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America’s Funniest Home Videos (CC) America’s Funniest Home Videos (CC) ››› “The Last Samurai” (2003) Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe. A Westerner learns the ways of the samurai in the 1870s. Chicago Tonight Trains Around North America America’s railroad history. (N) ’ (CC) Encore Programming Pledge specials. BBC World News Nightly Business Antiques Roadshow “Des Moines” Antiques Roadshow “Billings” (CC) Extraordinary Women “Amelia Earhart” Nightly Business You Being Served? Craft in America “Service” ’ (CC) Classic Gospel ’ (CC) Nature Cross-species relationships. ’ The Forgotten Plague: American A Hidden Epidemic ’ (CC) Asia Biz Forecast Overheard Evn
The First 48 “Desperate Moves” (CC) Bates Motel “A Death in the Family” ’ Bates Motel “The Arcanum Club” (N) ’ (9:02) The Returned “Simon” (N) (CC) (10:05) The Returned “Simon” ’ (CC) (11:03) Bates Motel ’ (CC) (5:30) ›› “The Day After Tomorrow” (2004) Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal. Better Call Saul “Five-O” (CC) Better Call Saul “Bingo” (N) (CC) (10:04) Better Call Saul “Bingo” (CC) (11:08) ›› “Van Helsing” (2004) Finding Bigfoot ’ Finding Bigfoot ’ Finding Bigfoot ’ To Be Announced Finding Bigfoot ’ Finding Bigfoot ’ Vanderpump Rules “Reunion” (CC) Vanderpump Rules “Reunion” (N) (CC) Shahs of Sunset (N) Southern Charm “Return to Neverland” What Happens Vanderpump Rules “Reunion” (CC) Shahs of Sunset (5:40) Reba (CC) (6:20) Reba (CC) ››› “Smokey and the Bandit” (1977, Comedy) Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jackie Gleason. Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ (5:56) South Park (6:28) South Park South Park (CC) South Park (CC) South Park (CC) South Park (CC) Archer “Honeypot” Archer “Skorpio” Daily Show The Nightly Show At Midnight (11:32) South Park SportsTalk Live (N) SportsNet Central Israeli Yellow Poker Night Premier Boxing Champions SportsNet Central SportsNet Central Kap & Haugh Rewind (N) King of the Hill ’ Cleveland Show The Originals “Save My Soul” (N) (CC) Jane the Virgin “Chapter Sixteen” (N) News (CC) Seinfeld “The Fire” Cougar Town (CC) Cougar Town (CC) Raising Hope ’ Community (CC) Street Outlaws OKC racers compete. ’ Street Outlaws “Small Tire Shootout” Fast N’ Loud: Demolition Theater (N) ’ Fat N’ Furious: Rolling Thunder (CC) Fast N’ Loud: Demolition Theater (CC) Fat N’ Furious: Rolling Thunder (CC) Dog With a Blog Jessie ’ (CC) “How to Build a Better Boy” (2014) China Anne McClain. ‘G’ Mickey Mouse ’ Austin & Ally (CC) Liv & Maddie (CC) I Didn’t Do It (CC) Dog With a Blog Good Luck Charlie Good Luck Charlie E! News (N) Keeping Up With the Kardashians The Royals “Stand and Unfold Yourself” Keeping Up With the Kardashians E! News (N) The Royals “Stand and Unfold Yourself” NCAA Women’s Selection Show NBA Basketball Cleveland Cavaliers at Miami Heat. From the AmericanAirlines Arena in Miami. (N) NBA Basketball Los Angeles Lakers at Golden State Warriors. From Oracle Arena in Oakland, Calif. (N) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) ESPN Tournament Challenge Special (N) (Live) (CC) 30 for 30 SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) The Fosters “Justify the Means” (CC) The Fosters “Not That Kind of Girl” (N) Chasing Life April rethinks her priorities. The Fosters “Not That Kind of Girl” ’ The 700 Club ’ (CC) Boy Meets World Boy Meets World Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Food Fortunes “Needing Dough” (N) Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive (5:00) ›› “This Is 40” (2012, Romance-Comedy) Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann. Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) The Waltons “The System” ’ (CC) The Waltons “The Spoilers” ’ (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls Love It or List It “Jody & Sam” (CC) Love It or List It “Deborah & Jay” (CC) Love It or List It (N) (CC) House Hunters (N) Hunters Int’l Love It or List It “Kelly & Eric” (CC) Love It or List It (CC) Swamp People An aggressive bull gator. Swamp People “Gator Slayer” ’ (CC) Swamp People “Bulletproof” (N) (CC) (9:03) Appalachian Outlaws (N) (CC) (10:03) Swamp People ’ (CC) (11:01) Swamp People “Gator Slayer” Life Flight: Trauma Center Houston Life Flight: Trauma Center Houston Life Flight: Trauma Center Houston (N) Life Flight: Trauma Center Houston (N) Life Flight: Trauma Center Houston Life Flight: Trauma Center Houston Catfish: The TV Show ’ Catfish: The TV Show ’ Eye Candy “FYEO” ’ Eye Candy “A4U” A burial site. (N) ’ Teen Mom Challenges. (N) ’ (CC) Catfish: The TV Show ’ The Thundermans Hathaways Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Fresh Prince Fresh Prince Friends ’ (CC) (10:36) Friends ’ (11:12) Everybody Loves Raymond ’ Snapped Snapped ›› “Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous” (2005) Sandra Bullock. ’ The Royals “Stand and Unfold Yourself” ››› “In Her Shoes” (2005) (4:30) ››› “I Am Legend” (2007) ’ ››› “The Grey” (2012) Liam Neeson. Premiere. Wolves pursue survivors of a plane crash through the Alaskan wild. ’ ››› “The Grey” (2012, Adventure) Liam Neeson, Frank Grillo. ’ (5:30) ›› “Quantum of Solace” (2008, Action) Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko. ››› “The Bourne Ultimatum” (2007, Action) Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, Joan Allen. ›› “Quantum of Solace” (2008, Action) Daniel Craig. Seinfeld ’ (CC) Seinfeld ’ (CC) Family Guy ’ Family Guy ’ American Dad (N) American Dad ’ Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Conan (N) The Office (CC) Conan My Addiction My Addiction My 600-Lb. Life “James’ Story” (CC) My 600-Lb. Life “Angel’s Story” (CC) Who the Bleep Who the Bleep Who the Bleep Who the Bleep My 600-Lb. Life “Angel’s Story” (CC) Castle Beckett and Castle are abducted. 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Stand-up comedy saved actor Chris D’Elia BY LUAINE LEE Tribune News Service
PASADENA, Calif. – Making people laugh wasn’t a mission or a calling or even a lucky vocation for comic Chris D’Elia. It was salvation. He was an actor first, and he couldn’t get arrested even if he 6:00
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toted a Molotov cocktail down the Sunset Strip. “I couldn’t get an agent. I didn’t even know how to do it at all. This was before (I did) standup,” he says, seated in a barrel chair in a hotel lounge here. “It was so depressing for me. I 7:00
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had two roommates, a brother and sister, and I was kind of ‘the other guy.’ He was an actor, and at that point, he was working way more than I was. I would think, ‘Man, I wish someday I could get a job like he does.’” They were living in beautiful downtown Burbank and D’Elia 8:00
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talk to six people on stage, as long as they paid attention to me because the business wouldn’t.” The son of producer-director Bill D’Elia, Chris remembers it began when he was about 8.
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was driving an SUV so indistinctive that he can’t remember what make it was. But that all changed when he began to pursue his real passion, standup comedy. “Nothing else mattered. I wasn’t depressed anymore if I could get on stage that night. I could
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Premiere. ’ Face Off “Dressed to Kill” Face Off “Miss Intergalactic” Face Off Superhero makeup. (N) Wizard Wars “Walking on Water” Close-Up Kings “Niagara” (11:01) Face Off Superhero makeup. Seinfeld ’ (CC) Seinfeld ’ (CC) Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Cougar Town (N) Conan (N) Cougar Town (CC) Conan 19 Kids-Count 19 Kids-Count 19 Kids and Counting ’ (CC) 19 Kids and Counting (N) ’ (CC) (9:01) Our Little Family ’ (CC) 19 Kids-Count 19 Kids-Count (11:01) Our Little Family ’ (CC) Rizzoli & Isles “In Plain View” (CC) Rizzoli & Isles “Bite out of Crime” (N) Rizzoli & Isles “Family Matters” (CC) Perception “Run” Moretti goes missing. Rizzoli & Isles “Bite out of Crime” Rizzoli & Isles “Family Matters” (CC) World of Gumball Regular Show King of the Hill ’ King of the Hill ’ Cleveland Show Cleveland Show American Dad ’ American Dad ’ Family Guy (CC) Family Guy (CC) Robot Chicken Mike Tyson Man v. Food (CC) Man v. 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Johnson. ’ Black Ink Crew ’ (4:55) ››› “Point Break” (1991) (CC) ››› “Never Say Never Again” (1983, Action) Sean Connery. iTV. ’ (CC) (9:15) ›› “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” (2006) Will Ferrell. 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that hard. That would be so cool to just do that forever.’ The “I was in the car with my mom power I had – having him skip the green light – was just wild and dad. And I was making a to me, and I had already loved joke about a commercial. And being funny at that point. But I my dad was at a red light, and always remember that.” he was laughing so hard that He made so-so grades in school, the light turned green and then back to red, and he didn’t leave but his mind was spinning with other ideas. “I lived in my head as because he was laughing and a kid,” he says, his thin face outcrying so hard. “I remember thinking, ‘I can’t lined by a Smith Brothers beard. believe I made my dad laugh “I couldn’t fall asleep at night, CONTINUED FROM 6
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and I was very scared. I would run into my parents’ room when I was a kid. I was scared of robbers, ghosts. Once I bought my first house, I felt like I could sleep because I felt like I was a man and I could take care of stuff now. It was very weird and symbolic, but I remember feeling that.” Chuckling, he says that was a year and a half ago. But it’s not far from the truth. D’Elia didn’t really make much money until
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he costarred in the sitcom “Whitney” 3 years ago. He continues to weave acting into his comedy and not the other way around. On Tuesday, he costars in NBC’s funny “Friends”-like comedy, “Undateable.” Divorced, D’Elia says he’s not really undateable but his work consumes his attention. “I was 26 when I got married. I think I got married the first year I was doing standup. I was doing 9:30
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three or four shows a night. It ended up dissolving, but it really was OK. I still think she’s a great girl. It wasn’t like, ‘I hate you.’ ‘I hate you.’ It was just like, ‘Maybe we should scrap this and start from jump.’ And we did. And I’m happy it turned out the way it turned out. And then my job became what I did and that’s part of the reason we ended up parting ways.” CONTINUED ON
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Undercover Liv & Maddie (CC) Dog With a Blog I Didn’t Do It (CC) Austin & Ally (CC) Liv & Maddie (CC) I Didn’t Do It (CC) Dog With a Blog That’s So Raven That’s So Raven E! News (N) ›› “Maid in Manhattan” (2002) Jennifer Lopez, Ralph Fiennes. The Royals “Stand and Unfold Yourself” E! News (N) Keeping Up With the Kardashians (5:00) SportsCenter NBA Countdown NBA Basketball Orlando Magic at Dallas Mavericks. From American Airlines Center in Dallas. (N) (Live) NBA Basketball Atlanta Hawks at Golden State Warriors. From Oracle Arena in Oakland, Calif. (N) College Basketball NIT Tournament, First Round: Teams TBA. (N) (Live) College Basketball NIT Tournament, First Round: Teams TBA. (N) (Live) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) Melissa & Joey Melissa & Joey Melissa & Joey (N) Baby Daddy (N) ’ › “What a Girl Wants” (2003, Comedy-Drama) Amanda Bynes, Colin Firth. The 700 Club ’ (CC) Boy Meets World Boy Meets World Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Mystery Diners Mystery Diners Mystery Diners Mystery Diners (N) Restaurant: Impossible Food Fortunes “Needing Dough” Mystery Diners Mystery Diners Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) ›› “Taken 2” (2012, Action) Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen. The Americans “Divestment” (N) The Americans “Divestment” The Americans “Walter Taffet” The Waltons “The Lie” ’ (CC) The Waltons “The Matchmakers” (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls Property Brothers “Kathryn & Eric” Property Brothers “Belinda & Tiago” Property Brothers “Beatriz & Brandon” House Hunters (N) Hunters Int’l Property Brothers (CC) Property Brothers “Beatriz & Brandon” American Pickers ’ (CC) American Pickers “The Royal Risk” ’ American Pickers “Shock Value” (CC) American Pickers “From A to T” (CC) (10:03) American Pickers “Boys’ Toys” (11:01) American Pickers ’ (CC) Little Women: LA (CC) Little Women: LA (CC) Little Women: LA “Friendtervention” (N) (9:02) Kosher Soul (9:32) Kosher Soul (10:02) Little Women: LA (CC) (11:02) Little Women: LA (CC) Catfish: The TV (6:45) Catfish: The TV Show A guy refuses to give up. ’ (7:55) Catfish: The TV Show ’ Catfish: The TV Show (N) ’ Catfish: The TV Show ’ “No Cameras Allowed” (2014) ’ The Thundermans Hathaways Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Fresh Prince Fresh Prince Friends ’ (CC) (10:36) Friends ’ (11:12) Everybody Loves Raymond ’ Thicker Than Water (CC) Thicker Than Water (CC) ›› “The Fighting Temptations” (2003, Comedy) Cuba Gooding Jr., Beyoncé Knowles, Melba Moore. ›› “The Fighting Temptations” (2003) Cuba Gooding Jr. Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) I Am Dale Earnhardt ’ Cops ’ (CC) ›› “Daybreakers” (2009, Horror) Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Claudia Karvan. ›› “Blade: Trinity” (2004, Horror) Wesley Snipes. Blade and a pair of vampire slayers battle Dracula. “Stake Land” (2010, Horror) Nick Damici, Connor Paolo. Seinfeld ’ (CC) Seinfeld ’ (CC) Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory Conan (N) The Office (CC) Conan Strange Love (CC) Strange Love (CC) My 600-Lb. Life “Joe’s Story” ’ (CC) My 600-Lb. Life “Laura’s Story” (N) ’ Strange Love (N) To Be Announced My 600-Lb. Life “Laura’s Story” (CC) Strange Love (CC) To Be Announced Supernatural ’ (Part 1 of 2) (CC) Grimm “Endangered” ’ (CC) Grimm “Kiss of the Muse” ’ (CC) Grimm “The Waking Dead” ’ (CC) Grimm “Goodnight, Sweet Grimm” ’ Supernatural “Appointment in Samarra” World of Gumball Regular Show King of the Hill ’ King of the Hill ’ Cleveland Show Cleveland Show American Dad ’ American Dad ’ Family Guy (CC) Family Guy (CC) Robot Chicken Mike Tyson Man v. Food (CC) Man v. Food (CC) Bizarre Foods: Bizarre Foods: Booze Traveler “Dead in New Orleans” Bizarre Foods America (CC) Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern Booze Traveler “Dead in New Orleans” (5:30) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) (CC) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) (CC) Inside March Madness Impractical Jokers Walker, Texas Ranger “Saving Grace” Family Feud (CC) Family Feud (CC) Love-Raymond Love-Raymond Hot in Cleveland The Soul Man (N) King of Queens King of Queens Friends ’ (CC) Friends ’ (CC) NCIS A missing Navy lieutenant. (CC) ›› “Fast Five” (2011, Action) Vin Diesel, Paul Walker. Dom Toretto and company ramp up the action in Brazil. Modern Family ’ Modern Family ’ Modern Family Modern Family Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 1)” (CC) Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 2)” (N) (CC) Walk of Shame Barely Famous (N) Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 2)” (CC) Walk of Shame Barely Famous ’ Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 2)” (CC) (5:05) ››› “The Devil’s Own” (1997) ›› “The Man With the Golden Gun” (1974, Action) Roger Moore. iTV. ’ (CC) (9:10) ››› “Speed” (1994, Action) Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper. iTV. ’ (CC) (11:10) ››› “Copycat” (1995) iTV. ’ Rosie O’Donnell: A Heartfelt Stand Up Looking ’ (CC) Girls ’ (CC) › “Tammy” (2014, Comedy) Melissa McCarthy, Susan Sarandon. ’ ‘R’ (CC) Real Time With Bill Maher ’ (CC) Last Week To. Looking ’ (CC) Mulholland Dr. ’ › “Devil’s Due” (2014) Allison Miller, Zach Gilford. ’ (CC) Banshee “We All Pay Eventually” (CC) ›› “The Signal” (2014) Brenton Thwaites. ’ (CC) (10:40) Lingerie ’ (11:15) Banshee ’ (CC) (5:15) ››› “Lucky Them” (2013) ‘R’ Shameless “Carl’s First Sentencing” ’ Hoops U ’ (CC) Episodes ’ (CC) House of Lies ’ Kobe Bryant’s Muse NBA player Kobe Bryant. ’ (CC) ››› “Glory Road” (2006, Drama) Josh Lucas, Derek Luke. iTV. ’ (CC) Black Sails “XVI.” (iTV) ’ (CC) Power “Not Exactly How We Planned” Power “Not Exactly How We Planned” Black Sails “XVI.” (iTV) ’ (CC) (5:00) ››› “Blaze” (1989) ’ (CC) ››› “Philomena” (2013, Docudrama) Judi Dench. ’ (CC) (8:40) ››› “Happy-Go-Lucky” (2008) Sally Hawkins, Alexis Zegerman. ’ (CC) (10:40) ›› “Hateship Loveship” (2013) Kristen Wiig. ’
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(10:34) The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy (11:36) Late Night Fallon ’ (CC) With Seth Meyers ’ (CC)
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Grey’s Anatomy “Don’t Dream It’s Over” Meredith reveals her fears. (N) ’ (CC)
Scandal “It’s Good to Be Kink” A woman American Crime “Episode Three” (N) ’ intends to reveal secrets. (N) ’ (CC) (CC)
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(10:35) Jimmy Kimmel Live (N) ’ (CC)
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American Idol “Top Ten Perform” The top ten contestants perform. (N) ’ (Live) (CC) 2 FOX 18 Nine O’Clock News (N) G Eyewitness News at Nine (N)
at 630PM (N) 1 Entertainment Tonight (N) (CC)
Theory ’ (CC) G Modern Family ’ (CC)
America’s Funniest Home Videos (CC) PBS NewsHour (N) ’ (CC) PBS NewsHour (N) R. Steves’ Europe (5:30) Charlie Rose The Cities
America’s Funniest Home Videos (CC) Chicago Tonight (N) ’ Antiques Roadshow “Des Moines” Wild! Iberian lynx population in Spain.
How I Met/Mother How I Met/Mother David Schwarz inCommon with Death in Paradise ’ (CC) This Old House ’ This Old House ’
News at 10PM (N) (CC) ` News (N) (CC) at 10PM 1 Eyewitness News Local at 10
(11:37) Nightline (N) (CC)
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Outlaw Country Encore Programming Pledge specials. Doc Martin “Dry Your Tears” ’ (CC) Ultimate Restorations ’ (CC)
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Rules/Engagement Rules/Engagement BBC World News Nightly Business The Life of Muhammad “The Seeker” NOVA A city of stone. ’ (CC)
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Nightwatch “Caught You, by Surprise” The First 48 ’ (CC) The First 48 (N) ’ (CC) (9:01) Nightwatch (Season Finale) (N) ’ (10:02) The First 48 “Kiss of Death” ’ (11:01) The First 48 ’ (CC) (5:00) ›› “Above the Law” (1988) ››› “Gladiator” (2000, Historical Drama) Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix. A fugitive general becomes a gladiator in ancient Rome. (CC) ››› “Air Force One” (1997) Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman. To Be Announced Railroad Alaska “Mountain Danger” ’ Ice Cold Gold “Midnight Run” ’ Ice Cold Gold “Death From Above” (N) Ice Cold Gold “Midnight Run” ’ Ice Cold Gold “Death From Above” ’ The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills The Real Housewives of Melbourne (N) Vanderpump Rules “Reunion” (CC) What Happens The Real Housewives of Atlanta Real Housewives (5:40) Reba (CC) (6:20) Reba (CC) Party Down South Party Down South (N) Party Down South Party Down South Party Down South Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ (5:56) South Park (6:28) South Park Tosh.0 (CC) Broad City ››› “Mean Girls” (2004, Comedy) Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams. (CC) Daily Show The Nightly Show At Midnight This Is Not SportsTalk Live (N) To Be Announced Comcast SportsNet Sports Awards MLB Preseason Baseball Chicago Cubs at Arizona Diamondbacks. From Salt River Fields in Scottsdale, Ariz. (Live) SportsNet Central King of the Hill ’ Cleveland Show The Vampire Diaries (N) ’ (CC) Reign Leith is forced to guard Claude. News (CC) Seinfeld ’ (CC) Cougar Town (CC) Cougar Town (CC) Raising Hope ’ Community (CC) Alaska: The Last Frontier “Fall Flurry” Alaska: The Last Frontier ’ (CC) Alaska: The Last Frontier ’ (CC) Alaska: The Last Frontier ’ (CC) Alaska: The Last Frontier “Fall Flurry” Alaska: The Last Frontier ’ (CC) Dog With a Blog Jessie ’ (CC) “Teen Beach Movie” (2013) Ross Lynch. ’ ‘G’ (CC) Mickey Mouse ’ Austin & Ally (CC) Liv & Maddie (CC) I Didn’t Do It (CC) Star Wars Rebels Good Luck Charlie Good Luck Charlie E! News (N) Keeping Up With the Kardashians Keeping Up With the Kardashians Keeping Up With the Kardashians E! News (N) Sex and the City Sex and the City MLB Preseason Baseball Philadelphia Phillies at New York Yankees. From George M. Steinbrenner Field in Tampa, Fla. Baseball Tonight (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) NFL Live (N) (CC) ATP Tennis BNP Paribas Open, Men’s and Women’s Quarterfinals. From Indian Wells, Calif. (N) (Live) College GameDay (N) (Live) (CC) (5:30) › “What a Girl Wants” (2003) Amanda Bynes. ›› “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2” (2008, Comedy-Drama) Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel. The 700 Club ’ (CC) Boy Meets World Boy Meets World Chopped “Keep on Trucking” Chopped Ramen; an offal surprise. Chopped Canada “A Brisket, A Basket” Beat Bobby Flay Beat Bobby Flay Cutthroat Kitchen “Whisk-Ey Business” Chopped Canada “A Brisket, A Basket” (4:30) Taken 2 › “That’s My Boy” (2012) Adam Sandler. A young man’s estranged father tries to reconnect with him. Archer (N) Archer Archer › “That’s My Boy” (2012) Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg. The Waltons “The Shivaree” ’ (CC) The Waltons “The Choice” ’ (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls House Hunters House Hunters Fixer Upper Waco, Texas. (CC) Rehab Addict Rehab Addict House Hunters Hunters Int’l House Hunters Hunters Int’l Rehab Addict Rehab Addict Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (N) ’ Pawn Stars (N) ’ Vikings The fleet returns to Kattegat. ’ (10:03) Vikings “The Usurper” ’ (CC) (11:01) Pawn Stars (11:31) Pawn Stars (5:00) Movie ›› “27 Dresses” (2008) Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, Malin Akerman. (CC) (9:02) › “Killers” (2010, Action) Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl. (CC) (11:02) ›› “27 Dresses” (2008) (CC) Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ Broke Game Ridiculousness ’ Snack-Off (N) ’ Ridiculousness ’ Ridiculousness ’ The Thundermans Hathaways Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Full House (CC) Fresh Prince Fresh Prince Friends ’ (CC) (10:36) Friends (11:12) Everybody Loves Raymond ’ Snapped Snapped Snapped Snapped Snapped Snapped (5:00) ›› “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem” (2007) ’ ›› “Dredd” (2012) Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby. A futuristic cop acts as judge, jury and executioner. ’ ›› “Alien vs. Predator” (2004, Science Fiction) Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova. ’ (4:30) ›› “Blade: Trinity” (2004) WWE SmackDown! (N) ’ (CC) › “Max Payne” (2008) Mark Wahlberg. A cop hunts those who killed his family. “Battle of the Damned” (2013, Action) (5:45) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) (8:15) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) Conan (N) My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding Welcome to Myrtle Manor (N) ’ (CC) My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding Welcome to Myrtle Manor ’ (CC) (6:15) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) (CC) (8:45) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) (CC) CSI: NY “Green Piece” ’ (CC) Ninjago: Masters Regular Show (N) King of the Hill ’ King of the Hill ’ Cleveland Show Cleveland Show American Dad ’ American Dad ’ Family Guy (CC) Family Guy (CC) Robot Chicken Mike Tyson Man v. Food (CC) Man v. Food (CC) Expedition Unknown “Temple of Doom” Expedition Unknown (N) (CC) The Layover With Anthony Bourdain Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations Expedition Unknown (CC) (6:15) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) (CC) (8:55) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) (CC) Inside/Madness Walker, Texas Ranger ’ (CC) Family Feud (CC) Family Feud (CC) Love-Raymond Love-Raymond King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens Friends ’ (CC) (11:40) Friends ’ Law & Order: Special Victims Unit ’ Law & Order: Special Victims Unit ’ Law & Order: Special Victims Unit ’ Dig Peter’s pursuit hits a dead end. (N) (10:01) Dig “Meet the Rosenbergs” (11:02) Dig Peter continues to search. Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 1)” (CC) Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 2)” (CC) Walk of Shame Barely Famous ’ Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 2)” (CC) ›››› “GoodFellas” (1990, Crime Drama) Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta. ’ (5:15) ››› “Monsters University” ››› “For Your Eyes Only” (1981) Roger Moore, Carole Bouquet. iTV. ’ (CC) (9:10) ›› “The Cell” (2000) Jennifer Lopez, Vince Vaughn. iTV. ’ (CC) ››› “Bridget Jones’s Diary” (2001) ›› “Admission” (2013, Comedy-Drama) Tina Fey, Paul Rudd. ’ ‘PG-13’ (CC) The Jinx: The Life Insurgent: First Game, Thrones Looking ’ (CC) Taxicab Confessions: New York Girls ’ (CC) VICE ’ (CC) (4:40) ››› “Moulin Rouge” (2001) ’ (6:50) ›› “The Wolverine” (2013) Hugh Jackman, Hiroyuki Sanada. ’ (CC) ›› “The Hangover Part III” (2013) Bradley Cooper. ’ Girl’s Guide Girl’s Guide Thomas Crown (5:35) ›› “The Words” (2012) ‘PG-13’ (7:15) ››› “The Life and Mind of Mark DeFriest” (2014) Premiere. ’ ‘NR’ (CC) Shameless “Carl’s First Sentencing” ’ Penn & Teller House of Lies ’ Episodes ’ (CC) Jay Mohr: Happy (5:50) ››› “Gridiron Gang” (2006, Drama) The Rock, Xzibit. iTV. ’ (CC) ››› “Analyze This” (1999, Comedy) Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal. iTV. ’ (CC) (9:50) ››› “Heat” (1995, Crime Drama) Al Pacino, Robert De Niro. iTV. ’ (CC) (5:20) “Assault on Wall Street” (2012) ›› “Sinister” (2012, Horror) Ethan Hawke, Vincent D’Onofrio. ’ (CC) ››› “Django Unchained” (2012, Western) Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio. ’ (CC) The Warrior’s Way
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He says comedy requires constant performing. “I don’t know any other way to do it. I look at Ray Romano and other guys who have relationships and were able to do it. That’s a testament, man. I think that’s great. I just don’t know if I could’ve figured it out.” But he hasn’t written off marriage. “Maybe. I think it really 6:00
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depends on the girl because I’ve had some good relationships since I’ve been married, and I think it depends on what girl I’m with. Sometimes the girl’s all gung-ho, ‘Someday we’ll get married.’ And sometimes the girls are, ‘I’m happy to hang out with you now and be your girlfriend and we’ll see what happens.’ I haven’t written it off.” In the meantime, standup sustains him. “I do standup 7:00
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because I feel like I have to for my emotional state. I’ve done standup for 9 years, and the longest I’ve gone without doing it was 7 days. So I just don’t feel right if I don’t do it. For me, I feel like I have to do it. I think about those football players, that’s their life. Then they get injured and can’t do it. I can’t think of something more miserable than that if that were to happen with standup.” 8:00
D’Elia will be doing his second standup event on Netflix in April. And whom did he hire to direct his special? The guy who laughed right through the green light.
‘Community’ returning The sitcom “Community” has been snatched from the jaws of death once again. Frequent were the rumors about it being canceled when it was airing on NBC. But Yahoo Originals has picked
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it up and will start streaming it March 17. Ken Jeong says he was jubilant when word came. “I was so happy. I was so excited that we’re coming back, because ... this is the only series that I know how to be on. And so for me, I was ecstatic that we got a sixth season. ... We’ve been through so much, and we survived so much, so to come back again to me was just the gift that keeps on giving, so that’s how I honestly felt.”
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Glee “2009; Dreams Come True” (Series Finale) Remembering the beginning of the club. (N) ’ (CC) America’s Funniest Home Videos (CC) Chi. Tonight David Schwarz Washington Week Iowa Press (CC) Well Read (CC) Theater Talk (CC)
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How I Met/Mother How I Met/Mother How I Met/Mother How I Met/Mother How I Met/Mother Encore Programming Pledge specials. Encore Programming Pledge specials. Market to Market American Masters “Judy Garland: By Myself” Judy Garland’s story. ’ (CC) Inspector Morse “Last Seen Wearing” BackStage Pass Funktion performs. ’ Jammin’
How I Met/Mother Nightly Business Peregrine Dme
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Rules/Engagement Rules/Engagement BBC World News Washington Week Death in Paradise ’ (CC) Austin City Limits Acoustic music. (CC)
Criminal Minds “Omnivore” ’ (CC) Criminal Minds “House on Fire” (CC) Criminal Minds “Conflicted” ’ (CC) (9:01) Bates Motel “The Arcanum Club” (10:02) The Returned “Simon” ’ (CC) (11:01) Criminal Minds “House on Fire” (3:30) ››› “Gladiator” (2000) (CC) ››› “The Departed” (2006, Crime Drama) Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon. An undercover cop and a criminal lead double lives. The Walking Dead “Spend” (CC) Talking Dead (CC) To Be Announced Tanked ’ (CC) Redwood Kings ’ Insane Pools: Off the Deep End (N) ’ To Be Announced Insane Pools: Off the Deep End ’ Keeping Up With the Kardashians Bravo First Looks ›› “Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous” (2005) Sandra Bullock. ›› “Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous” (2005) Sandra Bullock. Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge Movie Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ (5:54) ››› “Mean Girls” (2004) Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams. (CC) Futurama ’ (CC) Futurama ’ (CC) South Park (CC) South Park (CC) Archer “Legs” (10:32) Archer (11:03) The Comedy Central Roast Inside Look High School Basketball IHSA Boys Basket High School Basketball SportsNet Central SportsNet Central Kap & Haugh Rewind (N) King of the Hill ’ Cleveland Show Hart of Dixie “End of Days” (N) (CC) iZombie “Pilot” ’ (CC) News (CC) Seinfeld ’ (CC) Cougar Town (CC) Cougar Town (CC) Raising Hope ’ Community (CC) Bering Sea Gold ’ (CC) Bering Sea Gold “The Final Showdown” Bering Sea Gold: Dredged Up (N) (CC) Bering Sea Gold “Escape Goat” (N) ’ To Be Announced Bering Sea Gold “Escape Goat” (CC) Girl Meets World Girl Meets World Girl Meets World Girl Meets World Girl Meets World Girl Meets World Star Wars Rebels Star Wars Rebels I Didn’t Do It (CC) Austin & Ally (CC) Dog With a Blog Austin & Ally (CC) E! News (N) Keeping Up With the Kardashians Keeping Up With the Kardashians The Soup (N) (Live) The Soup E! News (N) Keeping Up With the Kardashians (5:00) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) College Wrestling NCAA Championships, Semifinals. From Scottrade Center in St. Louis. (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) NCAA Update Women’s College Basketball NCAA Tournament, First Round: Teams TBA. (N) CrossFit Games 2014 CrossFit Games (CC) ATP Tennis BNP Paribas Open, Women’s Second Semifinal. (N) (Live) ›› “The Flintstones” (1994, Comedy) John Goodman, Elizabeth Perkins. ››› “Matilda” (1996, Comedy) Mara Wilson, Danny DeVito, Rhea Perlman. The 700 Club ’ (CC) Boy Meets World Boy Meets World Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Diners, Drive (5:00) ›› “Glee the Concert Movie” ›› “Men in Black 3” (2012) Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones. Agent J must go back to the past to save mankind’s future. ›› “Men in Black 3” (2012, Action) Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin. The Waltons “The Woman” ’ (CC) The Waltons “The Venture” ’ (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Middle (CC) The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls The Golden Girls Love It or List It, Too (CC) Love It or List It, Too “Melissa & Josh” Love It or List It, Too “Kim & Randy” House Hunters Hunters Int’l House Hunters Hunters Int’l Love It or List It, Too “Kim & Randy” American Pickers “Train Wreck” (CC) Gangland Undercover “Going Under” Gangland Undercover ’ (CC) Gangland Undercover “Patched In” ’ (10:03) Gangland Undercover ’ (CC) (11:01) Gangland Undercover ’ (CC) Bring It! “Stamp Out Atlanta” (CC) Bring It! Miss D steps up her game. 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Slow Cooker Irish Stew - Serves 4-6 2 - pounds boneless leg of lamb, trimmed and 1 - can beef broth cut into 1-inch pieces (you also can use chuck beef roast if you prefer it to lamb)
In a mixing bowl, coat meat with the flour. Heat vegetable oil in a large skillet and cook the onion until translucent. Add the meat and brown.
2 - tablespoons tomato paste 1 - pint Irish stout beer
6 - large potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks 3 - to 4 parsnips, peeled and cut into chunks
1 - tablespoon flour
2 - large carrots peeled and cut into chunks, or half a bag of prepared baby carrots
- Chopped fresh herbs, such as parsley
2 - celery stalks, chopped 1 - large yellow onion, coarsely chopped
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and thyme
Cover and cook on “high” for 4 hours or “low” for 8 hours. When ready to serve, sprinkle with fresh parsley and offer with crusty bread and salad.
- Salt and pepper to taste
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Place the potatoes, parsnips, carrots, and celery in the bottom of a slow cooker crock. Add the cooked meat and onions. Pour in the beef broth and beer. Add the tomato paste, fresh herbs and salt and pepper.
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From American Airlines Center in Dallas. (Live) Blackhawks SportsNet Central SportsNet Central High School Lites Inside Look (5:00) ››› “Heist” (2001) (CC) Cheaters “Jennifer E.; Kay Simpson” ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Cops Reloaded ’ Rules/Engagement Rules/Engagement Community (CC) Community (CC) › “Kalamity” (2010) Nick Stahl. (CC) Fast N’ Loud ’ (Part 2 of 2) (CC) Fast N’ Loud A VW Microbus. ’ (CC) Fast N’ Loud A Knight Rider KITT car. Fast N’ Loud Finishing the KITT car. Fast N’ Loud ’ (Part 1 of 2) (CC) Fast N’ Loud ’ (CC) K.C. Undercover K.C. Undercover K.C. Undercover K.C. Undercover K.C. Undercover K.C. Undercover Lab Rats ’ (CC) Kickin’ It ’ (CC) Liv & Maddie (CC) Dog With a Blog Liv & Maddie (CC) Girl Meets World Chrisley Knows Chrisley Knows The Royals “Stand and Unfold Yourself” Keeping Up With the Kardashians ››› “Sex and the City” (2008) Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall. Time brings many changes for Carrie and her gal pals. World Arm Wrestling Championships College Wrestling NCAA Championships, Finals. From Scottrade Center in St. Louis. (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) Women’s College Basketball NCAA Update Women’s College Basketball NCAA Tournament, First Round: Teams TBA. (N) 2014 CrossFit Games (CC) College GameDay (N) (Live) (CC) ›››› “The Little Mermaid” (1989, Fantasy) Pat Carroll (7:45) ››› “Sleeping Beauty” (1959) Voices of Mary Costa, Bill Shirley. ›››› “Cinderella” (1950) Voices of Ilene Woods. (11:15) ›› “Pocahontas” (1995) Diners, Drive Diners, Drive Chopped “Peri Peri Determined” Chopped “Fry, Fry Again” Chopped “T.G.I. Fry-Day” Chopped “Late Night Food Brawl” Chopped “Fry, Fry Again” (4:00) ›› “This Is 40” (2012) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Mike & Molly (CC) Backstrom A suicide may be a homicide. Backstrom “Bogeyman” ’ (CC) (5:00) “Bridal Wave” (2015) ’ ‘G’ (CC) Good Witch “All in the Family” (N) (CC) ›› “The Chateau Meroux” (2011) Christopher Lloyd, Taylor Negron. ’ (CC) Good Witch “All in the Family” ’ (CC) The Golden Girls The Golden Girls Love It or List It “Vince & Jennifer” Property Brothers “Derek & Jennifer” Property Brothers “Sandra & Kyle” House Hunters Renovation (N) (CC) House Hunters Hunters Int’l Property Brothers “Sandra & Kyle” Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) Pawn Stars (CC) (9:31) Pawn Stars (10:03) Pawn Stars (10:32) Pawn Stars (11:01) Pawn Stars (11:31) Pawn Stars (5:00) “Sole Custody” (2014) ‘PG’ (CC) “Stalked by My Neighbor” (2015) Kelcie Stranahan, Amy Pietz. Premiere. (CC) (9:02) “Nanny Cam” (2014, Suspense) Laura Allen, India Eisley. (CC) (11:02) “Stalked by My Neighbor” (CC) Step Up Revolution Teen Mom Farrah starts dating. (CC) Teen Mom “How Many Chances?” ’ Teen Mom Catelynn’s family lashes out. Teen Mom “Moving On” ’ (CC) Teen Mom Catelyn chooses adoption. Teen Mom (CC) Henry Danger ’ Henry Danger ’ Henry Danger (N) Nicky, Ricky Bella, Bulldogs The Thundermans Fresh Prince Fresh Prince Friends ’ (CC) (10:36) Friends ’ (11:12) Everybody Loves Raymond (4:30) › “Down to Earth” (2001) ››› “Bad Boys” (1995, Action) Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Tea Leoni. ››› “Bad Boys” (1995, Action) Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Tea Leoni. › “Down to Earth” (2001) Chris Rock. Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) Cops ’ (CC) ›› “Con Air” (1997, Action) Nicolas Cage. Vicious convicts hijack their flight. ’ ››› “Zathura” (2005, Adventure) Josh Hutcherson, Jonah Bobo. Premiere. ›› “Jumanji” (1995, Fantasy) Robin Williams, Bonnie Hunt. Premiere. ›› “Robin Hood” (2010, Adventure) Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett. 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) Inside/Madness All About Benj. My 600-Lb. Life “Bettie Jo’s Story” ’ My 600-Lb. Life “Amber’s Story” (CC) My 600-Lb. Life “Susan’s Story” (CC) My 600-Lb. Life “Pauline’s Story” (CC) My 600-Lb. Life “Susan’s Story” (CC) My 600-Lb. Life “Pauline’s Story” (CC) (5:00) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) 2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament Teams TBA. (N) (Live) (CC) ›››› “The Dark Knight” (2008) Christian Bale, Heath Ledger. (CC) “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days” Dragon Ball Z Kai One Piece (CC) King of the Hill King of the Hill The Boondocks American Dad ’ American Dad ’ Family Guy (CC) Dragon Ball Z Kai Kill la Kill (N) Ghost Adventures “Sharon Tate Ghost” Ghost Adventures (CC) Ghost Adventures (N) (CC) The Dead Files (CC) The Dead Files (CC) Ghost Adventures (CC) Carbonaro Eff. Carbonaro Eff. Impractical Jokers Impractical Jokers Impractical Jokers Impractical Jokers Carbonaro Eff. Carbonaro Eff. Carbonaro Eff. Carbonaro Eff. Impractical Jokers Impractical Jokers Family Feud (CC) Family Feud (CC) Family Feud (CC) Family Feud (CC) Love-Raymond Love-Raymond King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens Friends ’ (CC) (11:40) Friends ’ NCIS “Bounce” Reopened investigation. NCIS An agent is gunned down. (CC) NCIS An assassin targets a key witness. NCIS A Navy diver is murdered. (CC) ›› “No Strings Attached” (2011) Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher, Cary Elwes. I Love the 2000s ›› “What’s Your Number?” (2011, Romance-Comedy) Anna Faris, Chris Evans, Ari Graynor. ’ Walk of Shame Barely Famous ’ Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 1)” (CC) Mob Wives “Reunion (Part 2)” (CC) “Talladega Nights: Ricky Bobby” ›› “The World Is Not Enough” (1999, Action) Pierce Brosnan. iTV. ’ (CC) (9:10) ›› “Demolition Man” (1993) Sylvester Stallone. iTV. ’ (CC) (11:10) ›› “Next” (2007) iTV. ’ (CC) (4:40) ›› “Fast & Furious 6” (2013) ’ ›› “A Million Ways to Die in the West” (2014) Seth MacFarlane. ‘R’ (CC) Sarah Silverman: We Are Miracles ’ Girls ’ (CC) Looking ’ (CC) “A Million Ways to Die in the West” ‘R’ (5:25) ›› “Ride Along” (2014) ’ (CC) (7:10) ›› “Nutty Professor II: The Klumps” (2000) Eddie Murphy. ’ (CC) ››› “Wedding Crashers” (2005) Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn. ’ (CC) “The Great Bikini Bowling Bash” (2014) Shameless “Carl’s First Sentencing” ’ ››› “Kill Bill: Vol. 2” (2004) Uma Thurman. An assassin confronts her former boss and his gang. ‘R’ › “Premature” (2014) John Karna. Premiere. ’ ‘R’ (CC) (11:05) Shameless ’ (CC) (5:20) › “Sex Tape” (2014) iTV. ’ Black Sails “XVI.” (iTV) ’ (CC) Black Sails “XVII.” (iTV) (N) ’ (CC) (9:02) Black Sails “XVII.” (iTV) ’ (CC) (10:05) Black Sails “XVII.” (iTV) (CC) (11:10) › “Sex Tape” (2014) iTV. ’ ›› Elizabethtown (6:20) ›› “Failure to Launch” (2006) ’ (CC) ›› “Exorcismus” (2010) Sophie Vavasseur. ’ (CC) (9:45) ››› “An American Werewolf in London” (1981) David Naughton. ’ ›› Exorcismus
12 • TV WEEK
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