In Loving Memory
TRIBUTES TO OUR LOVED ONES
How to express your condolences when someone dies
Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult and devastating life events a person will experience. While there’s nothing you can do to remedy the situation, you can certainly let your friends or loved ones know that you’re there for them in their time of need. Even if you’re not sure what the appropriate behavior is when someone else is grieving, there are several things you can do to show that you care.
Make initial contact
When you first learn that your friend or loved one has suffered a loss, consider how close you are to the grieving person.
If you are more of an acquaintance, wait a day or two to pay your respects. It may be more appropriate to send a letter, email, or card of sympathy if you are not close with the bereaved.
If you are very close, phone or visit them as soon as possible to offer support. Keep the call or visit brief and express your sympathy at that time. Remember that they are likely overwhelmed at this time, and may not have time or energy to spare on social graces.
Offer assistance with practical matters
During a time of loss, it’s often difficult for the person who’s left behind to tend to their daily needs. Offer to run errands for them or help with them housework. Something as simple as picking up a prescription, getting a few groceries or picking up dry cleaning can be very helpful during this period of time. Most likely their time will be taken up with making the final arrangements for the deceased and it maybe hard for them to take time out to keep the household running. Don’t put pressure on them to accept your help, or take it personally if they decline. They may simply want to be left alone, and you should respect their wishes.
Drop off some food
Preparing and dropping off food is another way that you can show you care when someone close to you has lost a loved one. Make oneor two dishes that you can drop off to the grieving person to help feed the friends and family who will most likely gather before and after the funeral. Casseroles, soups and stews are all dishes that are easy to heat up and taste just as
good even when eaten a day or two later.
If cooking isn’t a skill you possess, you can have food delivered or pick up something at a local deli or bakery.
Send flowers
Families often appreciate receiving floral arrangements when they’ve lost someone. It lets them know that you’re thinking of them and shows respect for the person who’s passed away. Flowers are also a simple reminder of life and beauty during a dark time.
A florist can help you select an arrangement that is tasteful and will work with you to find something that’s within your budget. Sign the card with a heartfelt sentiment.
Attend the viewing and funeral
Another way to be there for a friend or loved one is to attend the viewing and funeral service. If the deceased observed a different religious tradition from your own, simply ask the clergy member what is an acceptable level of participation in the service for someonewho isn’t a member of the religion. For example, everyone is welcome at a Catholic funeral, however, non-Catholics are not permitted to receive Holy Communion during the service.
Learn the proper etiquette beforehand to avoid any uncomfortable moments.
Support the bereaved aft erward
After the funeral, life goes back to normal for those who weren’t as close to the deceased. But for those who deceased person best, the grieving process is just beginning. It is during the weeks, months and years following the loss that the bereaved person will needsupport the most. While they were probably carried forward on a sea of momentum and adrenaline during the funeral preparations and service, now they are left alone to learn to live with their loss.
Visit them periodically for a chat, invite them to get out to some low-key events with you when they feel up to it or telephone to let them know that they’re on your mind.
While words can never truly express the deep sense of sympathy you feel for someone’s loss, actions can go a long way to let them know you care. By reaching out to the bereaved and assisting them in any way you can, you can show how much you feel for them during this time. -
Chula Vista, CA In Loving Memory
Sumi Adachi 1937-2026
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Barbara Berrier 1939-2026
Carlsbad, CA
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Camille Ann (Bauer) Boyd 1939-2026 La Mesa, CA
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Woodrow Valgene Alley 1937-2026 Oceanside, CA
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Patricia Ann Bischoff 1940-2026 San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
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Constance Mullin Branscomb 1939-2026 La Jolla, CA
Cindalee Busby 1946-2025 San Diego, CA
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Joan Brownell Anderson 1938-2026
San Diego, CA
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Daniel Bush 1943-2026 Carlsbad, CA
Rosemarie Canepa 1938-2025 San Diego, CA
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John Richard Asmus, III 1976-2026 San Diego, CA
Fred Rodrick Blecksmith, Jr. 1937-2026 San Diego, CA
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James Walter Bolt 1938-2026 Dallas, TX
Jean Breitenbach 1936-2025 San Diego, CA
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Alexander Porter Butterfield 1926-2026 La Jolla, CA
Diana
1934-2025 Ramona, CA
Dolores Ann Ballesteros 1933-2026 San Diego, CA
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Jean
Bolton 1934-2026 San Diego, CA
Barbara Jean Burdett (BJ) 1930-2025 Ramona, CA
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Terry Vaughn Caldwell 1947-2026 Ramona, CA
Suzanne Chambers 1947-2026 Spring Valley, CA
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Diane Serakos Burgess 1941-2026 Rancho Bernardo, CA
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James Earl Calvert 1968-2025 Tulsa, OK
1950-2026 Carlsbad, CA
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Carol
(Homier)
Platt Cessna
Victor Chavez
Yolanda Chavez 1938-2026 San Diego, CA
Aimee Lee Cheek 1936-2026 San Diego, CA In Loving Memory
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Richard L. Christopherson 1928-2026 San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
Andrea Cioe 1957-2025 El Cajon, CA
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Kevin Colgan 1952-2025 La Jolla, CA
Clifton Cooke, Jr. 1947-2026
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Coop Gary Albert Cooprider 1936-2026
San Diego / La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory
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Marian Curtis 1932-2026 Vista, CA
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Diane Dellner 1939-2026 San Marcos, CA
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Patrick Donnelly 1963-2026 San Diego, CA
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Katherine Cormier 1947-2026 La Jolla, CA
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Helen Cuseo 1929-2026 San Diego, CA
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Sharron Lovejoy Derrough 1943-2026 San Francisco, CA
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Corinne Cramer 1960-2026 Polson, MT
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Helen Geneva Dawson 1936-2025 La Jolla, CA
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Joany Deutz 1940-2025 Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Paul Edward Doster 1933-2025 San Diego, CA
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Barry Crane 1951-2025 San Diego, CA
Mary Joann De Pento 1935-2026 San Diego, CA
Michael “Mike” David Drenan 1955-2026 San Diego, CA
CAPT David R. Dishman, USN (Ret.) 1944-2025 Poway, CA
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Darlee Buchanan Crockett 1939-2026 La Jolla, CA
Karen “Nikki” Marie DeLaurentis 1953-2026 San Diego, CA
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Thomas M. Dolan 1931-2026 San Diego, CA
Daniel Levon Dudas 1934-2026 La Jolla, CA
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James M Durbin 1947-2025 San Diego, CA
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Stephen Matthew Early 1960-2026
La Mesa, CA
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In Loving Memory
Susan Edgerton-Hof 1953-2026
San Diego, CA
Frank Anthony Ferrone, Esq. 1933-2026
El Cajon, CA
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Gloria Joan Galbraith 1933-2026
Chula Vista, CA
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Consuelo Golden 1933-2026
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
Christine Teyssier Eldred 1930-2026 El Cajon, CA
Richard Fialho 1945-2026
San Diego, CA
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Vance A. Gustafson 1931-2025 San Diego, CA
Nancy Geist 1933-2025 San Diego, CA
Gary G. Gould 1941-2026 San Diego, CA
Michael Fickel 1945-2026
San Diego, CA
John Howard Gilmore 1944-2026 Santee, CA
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Geraldine Louise Grady 1937-2026 San Diego, CA
Joan Endres 1939-2026 La Mesa, CA
Mark Hanawalt Freeman 1958-2026 San Diego, CA
Vanessa Van Laanen Gwynne 1953-2026 San Diego, CA
Martin Fenton Jr. 2026 La Jolla, CA
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Dean Howard Fullerton 1948-2026 Bellevue, WA
Julia Reagan Giulianotti 1994-2026 Poway, CA
Verniece E. Litvin Hammond 1935-2024 Poway, CA
Lucie Frances Grauf 1927-2026 San Diego, CA
Ruth Hansen 1930-2025 Pacific Grove, CA (frmly of La Jolla)
Jane Lee Goff 1950-2026 Santee, CA
Sandy Grindle 1941-2026 Roseburg, OR
Gary Scott Hardke 1949-2026 San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory
Edna M. Harper 1938-2026
Karen Harris 1943-2026
Santa Barbara, CA
In Loving Memory
Lee Allen Hegberg 1932-2026 Oceanside, CA
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Marilyn Flossie Heid 1931-2025 San Diego, CA
Gary Hempstead 1937-2026 Fallbrook, CA
Dr. Daniel Arthur Henderson 1939-2026
Asheville, NC In Loving Memory
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Hector Huerta 1950-2025
Chula Vista, CA
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Tom Wilson James 1938-2026
San Diego, CA
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Nicholas Anthony Krall, Ph.D. 1932-2026
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James Warren Hodges 1942-2026 Indian Wells, CA
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Ira Edward Wight Huffman 1922-2026 La Jolla, CA
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Del Mar, CA
Theresa Jessup 1930-2026 San Diego - Grants Pass, CA
James Hofmann 1930-2026 San Diego, CA
Esther Hughes 1942-2025 San Diego, CA
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Gerald A. Kelly 1931-2025 Carlsbad, CA
Daniel Joseph Kremer 1937-2026 Del Mar, CA
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Marjorie Howard-Jones 1926-2025 Carlsbad, CA
Charles Harold Innis 1940-2026 Rancho Bernardino, CA
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Michael W. Kew 1943-2026 Olivenhain, CA
Arthur Kuehn 1940-2026 Spring Valley, CA
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Betty Jean (Hentzen) Howells 1930-2026 Ramona, CA
Robert Jackson 1930-2026 La Jolla, CA
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Larry Bruce Klaasen 1944-2026 San Diego, CA
Annette Wilkins Larsen 1958-2025 San Diego, CA
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Donald Laufer 1946-2025 Carlsbad, CA
In Loving Memory
Mary Patricia (Patty) Lavelle 1957-2025
Ramona, CA
Poway, CA In Loving Memory
Janet Lee 1933-2026
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Laurence (Larry) Manzer 1934-2025
El Cajon, CA
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Roderick Francis McLeod 1939-2025
Escondido, CA
In Loving Memory
Barbara June Lawson 1945-2025 La Jolla, CA
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In Loving Memory
Dr. Ann Lawson 1946-2026 San Diego, CA
Elizabeth Lyons Lenardi 1933-2025
Coronado, CA
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Dolores Muscio 1927-2026
El Cajon, CA
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Stanley Levenson 1931-2025
Poway, CA
Leo Masterson 1930-2026 San Diego, CA
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John McMahon 1958-2026 Phoenix, AZ
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Donald “Don” Ray Lechien 1935-2026
El Cajon, CA
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Lila May McDougal 1942-2026 San Diego, CA
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Joseph A. Lynch 1931-2026 San Diego, CA.
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Richard A. Moore 1930-2025
Solana Beach, CA
Diane J. Myers 1939-2026
Port Isabel, TX
Msgr. Roger A. Lechner 1940-2026
Bonsall, CA
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Grace Forsyth Mamaux 1930-2025 Carlsbad, CA
Richard Hartness McElroy 1951-2026
Coronado, CA
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Anthony (Tony) Morgante 1931-2026
Chula Vista, CA
Patrick Cornelius Norton 1959-2025
Kirkland, WA
Olive Margaret McHenry 1932-2026 San Diego, CA
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David Michael Mulvaney 1958-2026 San Diego, CA
Benjamin Markley Nyce 1932-2025 San Diego, CA
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Douglas H. Obenshain 1958-2026 Carlsbad, CA
In Loving Memory
Geraldine Marie O’Brien 1947-2026
San Diego, CA
Tom Olson 1937-2025 La Jolla, CA
In Loving Memory
Kay Pantelis 1937-2026
Rancho Bernardo, CA
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Erika Ault Parsons 1978-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Raj Kumar Pathria 1933-2026 La Jolla, CA
La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory
Cynthia “Cindy” Davis Peterson 1931-2026
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Pamela Lee Pope (Liddell) 1961-2026
Fernandina Beach, FL
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Penelope Rehrig 1942-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
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Jerry Neal Selness 1941-2026
San Diego, CA
Robert Allen Pickrel 1930-2026 Carlsbad, CA
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Daniel B. Prager 1932-2026 San Diego, CA
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Thomas Richardson 1948-2026 Las Vegas, NV
Thomas Pierce 1954-2026 Surprise, AZ
Danny Pratt 1961-2026 Victorville, CA
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Colonel John F. Roche III, USMC (Ret.) 1930-2026
Rancho Bernardo, CA
Robert L Severson Jr 1953-2025 San Diego, CA
Mel Pinney 1943-2026 San Diego, CA
Maria Esther Quesenberry 1946-2026 San Diego, CA
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Beverly Rose (Tilley) Ross 1940-2026 San Diego, CA
Celia Shanahan 1956-2026 Custer, SD
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Vera A. Plain 1923-2026 San Diego, CA
James Reardon 1935-2025 San Diego, CA
Patricia Shields 1937-2025 Concord, CA
Dr. Edward Schechter, MD 1939-2026 La Jolla, CA
Guyanne Blackman Shood 1944-2026 Oceanside, CA
Arlene Simpson 1930-2025 San Diego, CA In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Leta Rhea Sinnen 1935-2025 El Cajon, CA
In Loving Memory
Carol Wright Smith 1962-2026 Ventura, CA
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Denise Sprague 1947-2026 La Jolla, CA
Karen Thomas Stefano 1964-2026 San Diego, CA
Susanne Rhoads Stelzner 1959-2026
Lake Forest, IL In Loving Memory
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Frances Suszko 1936-2026 Poway, CA
Patricia Wilson Tellam 1929-2026 La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory
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Sarah Uberuaga 1946-2026 Meridian, ID
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Elizabeth Stevens 1926-2025 La Mesa, CA
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Miles Hubbard Sweet 1943-2026 San Diego, CA
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Robert Matthew Thomas, Jr., M.D., FACS 1938-2025 La Jolla, CA
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Irene Stillings 1939-2026 Rancho Santa Fe, CA
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Jim Syren Jr. 1940-2026 San Diego, CA
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John Ralph Thomas 2026 Long Beach, CA
Keith Kamin Ullrich 1958-2026 San Diego, CA
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Patricia C. Utterberg 1931-2026 Bloomington, MN
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Jeffery Straight 1955-2026 San Diego, CA
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Margaret Mary Tamm 1929-2026 San Diego, CA
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Susie Tomasin 1942-2026 San Diego, CA
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Dr. Victor A.J. van Lint 2026 Fullerton, CA
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Richard Lee “Dick” Stults 1930-2025 Carlsbad, CA
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Rita Taylor 1949-2025 San Diego, CA
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Anna Trunnell 1937-2026 Escondido, CA
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Gerald “Wade” Lloyd Varney 1938-2025 Carlsbad, CA
Rancho Bernardo, CA In Loving Memory
Darlene Vaughn 1938-2026
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Craig Walker 1953-2026 Phoenix, AZ
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Harvey P. White 1934-2025 Del Mar, CA
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Angelina Vitale 1932-2026 San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
Anne Patrice Waddell 1955-2026 La Jolla, CA
John Thomas Webster 1935-2025 La Jolla, CA
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Gloria DeVillier Wilkins 2025-2025 Spring Valley, CA
John Worster 1948-2026 Carlsbad, CA
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John Yiannakakis 1957-2026 San Diego, CA
Michael Brown 1940-2025 San Diego, CA
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Ron Wade 1936-2026 Escondido, CA
Christopher Welch 2025 San Diego, CA
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Alyce de Roulet Williamson 1930-2026 Pasadena, CA
Jacqueline Burt 1940-2025 Las Vegas, NV
Brian E Wages 1943-2026
Chula Vista, CA
James “Jim” Robert Wells 1939-2026 San Diego, CA
Sandra Yoakum-Bell 1950-2026 San Diego, CA
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Dona Whitaker 1940-2025 La Jolla, CA
Katherine Mae (Webb) Wilson 1921-2026 San Diego, CA
Joan Christensen 1944-2025 Minneapolis, MN
Erika Ault 1978-2026 Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Barbara Joan Woodbury 1947-2025 La Jolla, CA
Virginia Copeland 1941-2025 El Cajon, CA
Thomas Bettles 1947-2025 La Jolla, CA
Samuel Fenlason 1996-2025 San Diego, CA
Mildred Helsper 1925-2025
La Jolla, CA
In Loving Memory
Patricia Peterson
1927-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
Joe Trily 1933-2025
La Jolla, CA
Laury Isenbverg 1941-2025
La Jolla, CA
In Loving Memory
Claudine Pierson 1930-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In
Luigi Trucchi 1961-2025
San Diego, CA
Eddie Mello 1932-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
Herbert Price 1948-2025
San Diego, CA
Dominic Moceri 1936-2025
Escondido, CA
In Loving Memory
Martha Ratzer 1962-2026
Solano Beach, CA
In Loving Memory
Writing a Sympathy Note
WMay the constant love of caring friends soften your sadness. May cherished memories bring you moments of comfort. May lasting peace surround your grieving heart.
riting a sympathy note is a thoughtful way to express your condolences when someone you know has suffered a recent loss. However, it is essential to strike the right tone and off er your sympathy with sensitivity. Use this list of do’s and don’ts to guide you as you craft the perfect note of sympathy.
Do
Write that note, even when you feel awkward. Skipping the note might be interpreted as a sign that you don’t care about the family’s sorrow. This is never the message you want to send.
Do
Send the note as soon as you hear about the death. The first days and weeks after a loss are often the worst. This is the time to offer your heartfelt sympathy.
Do
Send a stock printed card if you barely knew the deceased or the family. If the relationship was closer, be sure to write a personal note or letter. When in doubt, send flowers along with your note.
Do Remember the note is for the living, not the
deceased. Even if you didn’t get along with the deceased or didn’t know the person at all, it’s always appropriate to offer sympathy to the family.
Do
Tell them you’re sorry they suffered a loss. This is the essence of your message. It doesn’t need to be fancy, but it always needs to be said. Let them know they’re in your thoughts as they struggle with their grief.
Don’t
Say “Let me know if you need anything.” While this is a popular gesture, it’s essentially an empty one. The bereaved is too busy and in too much pain to think of things for you to do. If you really want to help, offer something specific.
Don’t
Say “Mary’s finally out of pain.” Avoid saying anything that makes it sound like the death was a good thing.
Don’t
Express religious sentiments, unless you’re sure the family shares those beliefs. To non believers, these sentiments might sound empty and make them feel worse.
Condolence notes can be a source of comfort and let sorrowing relatives know they are not alone. With a few simple words, you can let the bereaved know you care and brighten their day.
Barringer Newcomb 1942-2026 Carmel, CA
Diane Tagle 1945-2025 National City, CA
