In Loving Memory
TRIBUTES TO OUR LOVED ONES
Steps to take when filing a will
As with being born and having to pay taxes, we all face the prospect of our own death. If you plan on living to a ripe old age, it’s important to make things easier on those you leave behind by preparing a proper last will and testament.
Benefits of creating a last will and testament
When you file a will, your final wishes are laid out in black and white, leaving no ambiguity about how you want your assets divided. By creating a will that is watertight, you can make your death less stressful for your survivors. You should also have peace of mind knowing your survivors will be taken care of when you are gone. Although it’s unsettling to think of your own death and the world without you in it, consider how you’d like your assets to be distributed once you are gone. Typically people contemplate how they’d like to leave their children, spouse, favorite charities and other loved onesin the event of their death.
When is a good time to start planning your final wishes?
Consider preparing a last will and testament once you’ve acquired assets or dependents. If you work full time, have a spouse orchildren, own a home, or have savings, it’s the right time to start planning.
Preparing the will
Don’t know how to get started? Follow these steps to begin planning your final wishes.
1. Account for all of your assets and debts
Create a comprehensive list of everything you own or are entitled to. This includes, but is not limited to:
• Real estate holdings
• Life insurance policies
• Vehicles
• Cars
• Boats
• Recreational vehicles
• Financial investments
• Owned businesses
• 401(k)
• RRSPs
• Home equity
• Stocks
• Bonds
• Pensions
• Other retirement savings and portfolios
• Debts and liabilities
2. Assign a trustee
A trustee, or executor, is the person who you assign to carry out the instructions held in your last will and testament. Their duties can include the distribution of assets, funeral planning, death announcement, services, cremation or care of your final remains, and distribution of your assets as set
want your body to be cremated and your ashes scattered over your favorite lake, ski hill, ocean vista or other special place. Your wishes are yours alone, andcan be as personal as you like. Whatever they may be, ensure your requests are clearly identified in your will.
5. Make it legal
out in your will.
Ensure that the person you select to administer your estate is okay with being appointed as such before assigning them. The job of anexecutor or trustee is complex and stressful, usually taking months or years to conclude. Make sure they are up to the task.
3. List all beneficiaries
Construct a list of relatives, friends and charities that you would like to remember in your will. This can include your spouse, children, siblings, parents and in-laws, charities you support, and any other people or organizations that you want to leave some of your accumulated wealth to. Write down the exact assets or percentage of the total estate that each person or organization will receive.
4. Final wishes for your bodily remains
Perhaps you want to be interred in a tomb, with a simple grave, or extravagant headstone. Or maybe you
Contact a lawyer that specializes in estate law. They know the current rules and regulations regarding wills, how they may affect your wishes, and the best ways to take care of those left behind. It’s better to be safe than sorry. There is no substitute for a legal will. Writing a letter or informal statement about how you’d like your assets divided might be a nice gesture to your survivors, but does not take the place of a will. Don’t risk your financial legacy being mismanaged. Don’t jeopardize the understanding of your final wishes. You can purchase a kit to create a will yourself. This will be less expensive than using a lawyer, but may not be as binding and watertightas you might like. If your will has complex instructions, it’s best to consult a lawyer.
Maintaining your wishes
Divorces, new marriages, new children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, favorite charities or new circumstances may raise the need to change your will, to either include new entries to your will, or have some taken out of it. After having your last will and testament written up, signed and witnessed, you will have to make changes to it as your life unfolds.
Make it a habit to revisit your final wishes when life changes occur, or every few years. That way, you can rest assured loved ones will be taken care of when you are gone.
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Marian Alles Alexander 1924-2026 San Diego, CA In Loving Memory
Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Jerry Anderson 1935-2026 Escondido, CA
Richard Barbour 1940-2026 Buford, GA
Loving Memory
Nellie Bartusch 1956-2026 Lakeside, CA
Loving Memory
Carolyn Annette Rear Bourdeau 1939-2026 San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
John S. Armstrong III 1947-2026 La Jolla, CA
James Keith Barker 1938-2026 San Diego, CA
Luke Thomas Barker (Braun) 1952-2026 Phoenix, AZ
Lynn A. Behymer 1928-2026 Carlsbad, CA
Margaret Cammall 1946-2026 San Diego, CA
Diane Baer 1947-2026 La Mesa, CA
Lee S. Bowman 1930-2026 San Diego, CA
RICHARD “DICK” CANFIELD 1935-2026 San Diego, CA
Joan Mae Barnette 1937-2026 Escondido, CA
Lawrence Allen Bekken 1935-2026 San Diego, CA
Marigrace Boyer 1940-2026 Rancho Santa Fe, CA
John Battista Balistrieri 1941-2026 San Diego, CA
William (Bill) Berrier 1933-2026 Carlsbad, CA
Todd J. Carlson 1931-2026 Escondido, CA
Gail Dean Brauchla 1942-2026 Rancho Bernardo, CA
Christopher A. Barone 1932-2026 Halfway, MO
Florence Susan Bos 1948-2026 San Diego, CA
Sharon Carroll 1930-2026 Granbury, TX
Carol Brinkman 1927-2026 San Diego, CA
William E. Charlton 1956-2026 San Diego, CA
La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory
Mary Lee Coleman 1934-2026
Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Mary T. Comaratta 1937-2026
San Diego, CA
Debbie Muilwijk Cornell 2026
San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
Burchard “Butch” Deming 1928-2026
San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
Margaret (Maggie) Eggers 1931-2026
La Mesa, CA
Loving Memory
Thomas Michael “Big Tom” Cox 1948-2026
San Diego, CA
Charles William Dollard 1954-2025 San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Reine Monroe Cooper 1940-2026 Vista, CA
Robert Leslie Currier 1936-2026 Ramona, CA
Martin Vincent Eis 2026
Maricopa, AZ
James L. Eshbach, Jr. 1928-2025
Chula Vista, CA
Janet ‘Jan’ Louise Corneilson 1932-2026
Hardin County, KY
Loving Memory
Marian V. Dale 1950-2026 Jasper, IN
Nancy Catherine Douville 1949-2026
Rancho Bernardo, CA
Loving Memory
Richard Rocco Emma 1942-2026
Encinitas, CA
Hector Estevane 1935-2026 San Diego, CA
Andre Thomas Ferrez 1925-2026
San Diego, CA
William “Bill” Dovey, Jr 1933-2026
San Diego, CA
Fredrick Brooks “Rick” Erler 1967-2026
San Diego, CA
Mary “Pat” Catherine Hart Franco 1946-2026
La Jolla, CA
Mary Margaret Keith Cornelison 1937-2026
Chula Vista, CA
Clifford Davis 1916-2026 San Diego, CA
Walter Egger 1964-2026
San Diego, CA
Patricia Helene (Juntz) Erzinger 1937-2026
La Jolla, CA
Loving Memory
Diana Barr French 1952-2026
Chesterfield, MO
Donal
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory
Forrest Hyde Fuller 1954-2026
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory
Vic Ghosn 1933-2026
Loving Memory
Percy Green 1930-2026
San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
Jacquelene “Jackie” Hartley 2026 San Marcos
In Loving Memory
Peter Wells Gault 1984-2026 Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Edward L. Gavotto 1930-2025 & 1934-2026 Alpine, CA
Martha Hendee Gillingham 1942-2026 El Cajon, CA
Loving Memory
Robert “Bob” John Hoffman 1962-2025 Prospect, KY
Barbara Dee Ground 1936-2026 La Jolla, CA
Loving Memory
Alan E. “Spike” Harvey 1916-2026 Vista, CA
Roland “Lolagi” J. Glenister 1953-2026
Spring Valley, CA
Margot Rose Hamann 1957-2026 La Jolla, CA
Loving Memory
Linda Hauck 1958-2026 Santa Rosa, CA
David Brian Gee 1934-2026 San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
Cara Nicole Goedeker-Watts 1935-2026 Killeen, TX
Marva Don Holmes 1943-2026 San Diego, CA
Rosemary Ghosn 1929-2026 San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
William Golden 1937-2026 Solana Beach, CA
Edgar Stevens Hamilton, Jr. 1942-2026 La Jolla, CA
Greet Hostetler 1940-2026 Del Mar, CA
Judith Morgan McLaughlin Haxo 1944-2026 La Jolla, CA
Donald M. Hansen 1931-2026 Encinitas, CA
Dr. Darlene P. Hoyt 1937-2026 San Diego, CA
Christine Hickman 1943-2026 San Diego, CA
Rosina Mae James 1936-2026 New Castle, PA
How to prepare a eulogy
Giving the eulogy at a funeral is an honor as well as an intimidating responsibility. Particularly if you are not accustomed to publicspeaking, it can be difficult to know where to begin.
Well, take a breath and relax. With a little forethought, you can prepare and deliver a stirring eulogy. It is important to invest the time necessary to prepare in advance. Do not wait to “wing it” during the funeral. That is a recipe for disaster. You may freeze up, ramble on, and miss out on the opportunity to pay proper tribute to your loved one. If you plan ahead and organize what you intend to say, it will minimize those dangers. When the time comes, you may choose to digress a bit from your prepared statements, but you will at least have a framework to guide you.
Writing the eulogy
To help with your preparation, make sure you carry a notepad, smartphone or tablet with you for note-taking purposes. Whenever you hear a family member or friend make a relevant observation about the deceased, quickly jot it down. This way, you can keep track of quotations, humorous stories, and factual information. Later, when you sit down to organize your thoughts onto paper, you can use your notes as a reservoir of ideas. If you are have difficulty recalling information or getting input from others, don’t be afraid to ask outright. Spark conversations by asking questions such as:
• What is your favorite memory of your time with them?
• If you could sum up their life in one word, what word would that be?
• What kinds of hobbies did they have?
• What nicknames were they known by?
When you have gathered enough information, it is time to put it all
together. While there is no right or wrong way to prepare a eulogy, the following blueprint can help you get started if you are unsure.
To begin, describe your own relationship with the deceased. Explain how you are personally affected by the loss. Remember that many of the people listening to you will understand fully and may share many of the same emotions. Next, work in some personal details pertaining to the deceased, and include three or four anecdotes. Tell stories that included you, or that were shared with you by others. Heartwarming accounts of generosity are powerful when delivered in a eulogy. Stories that demonstrate the person’s character will resonate with the people who miss them. Humorous anecdotes provide much-needed comic relief from the tension of a funeral service. However, be sure to keep the humor respectful and appropriate. If the loved one was a person of faith, you can make note of that, too.
Talk about life lessons you learned from them as well as the qualities that
made your loved one special. Whenever possible, tie these lessons or qualities into your anecdotes. Beware, however, of the danger of turning the eulogy into a story about yourself. Keep the focus on the person you are honoring.
Near the end of the eulogy, consider addressing the deceased directly. For example, you can turn toward the casket and say, “Mom, I love you and I’m going to miss you. You taught me well, I couldn’t have asked for a better mother, and you will always be close to my heart.”
You may choose to end on that note, or you may opt to share a final poem or read a verse from a favorite hymn in closing.
Delivering the eulogy
You should prepare a complete manuscript of what you plan to say. Though the process may be difficult, it will force you to focus an dorganize your thoughts in a coherent fashion. Using this manuscript, you can practice delivering the eulogy a few times to see how it flows and to edit for length. In most cases, a eulogy of five to ten minutes (two to four
typed pages) is appropriate. If you expect that you will stray from the manuscript during delivery, aim for shorter. If you tend to speak faster when nervous, prepare a longer eulogy.
Whether you take the complete manuscript to the podium or condense the eulogy onto cue cards is your decision. If you are nervous about speaking publicly, bring the entire manuscript up to the podium with you. Just having it handy can relieve your anxiety about getting lost during the eulogy. If you are a confident public speaker, condense the eulogy to bullet points on cue cards. This will help you deliver a more natural, conversational tribute to your loved one.
If you invest the time and energy in preparing the eulogy, you can approach your responsibility with confidence. Step up to the podium, take a deep breath to calm your nerves and get your bearings, and tell everyone about this wonderful person you are honoring.
Chula Vista, CA In Loving Memory
Stanley John Jasek II 1963-2026
Loving Memory
Thomas A. Jenkins, Jr. 1989-2026 San Diego, CA
Barbara Ann Naylor Kelley 1943-2026
San Marcos, CA
Loving Memory
Leona Elsie Levy 1948-2025 Hudson MA
Carin H. Mancuso 1925-2026 Poway, CA
In Loving Memory
Thomas William Knipstein, MD 1931-2026
Escondido, CA
Dennis Wayne Lyman 1936-2026 Campo, CA
Sidney Joseph “Joe” Jones 1937-2026
San Diego, CA
David Knopf 1938-2026 San Marcos CA
Donald Manley 1945-2026 Temecula, CA
Donald McGrath II 1931-2026
San Diego, CA
John M. Julius, III 1945-2026 Coronado, CA
Eric Henry Marcus, M.D. 1949-2026 San Diego, CA
Gill McIntyre 1933-2026 Rancho Bernardo, CA
Althea Rose Kardos 1948-2026 Spring Valley, CA
Ann Kulchin 1932-2026 Carlsbad, CA
Georgia Neyenesch Markley 1950-2026 San Diego, CA
Barbara Main 1949-2026 Bonita, CA
Marion Olive Mettler 1937-2026 San Diego, CA
Geraldine “Dina” Louise Martinez 1933-2026 Rancho Bernardo, CA
1946-2026 San Diego, CA
Ben
1935-2026 San Diego, CA
Patricia Misner 1923-2026 San Diego, CA
Gwendolyn L. Maunder 1932-2026 San Diego, CA
Diane Evelyn Modrzejewski 1925-2026 San Diego, CA
Lynne Rachelle Lasry
Mallinger
Renae Louise Montgomery 1945-2026
Escondido, CA In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
William “Bill” Moore 1934-2026 Poway
In Loving Memory
Sara Falk Moser 1929-2026 La Jolla, CA
Elsie Huntington (Bledsoe) Moss 1927-2026 San Diego, CA
Morgan Jayne Mouradian 1935-2026 Pacific Beach, CA
Darlene Susan Neal-Maxson 1936-2026
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory
Loving Memory
Susan Rae Olsen 1939-2026
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Loving Memory
Michelle Camille Parker 1967-2026 La Jolla, CA
Loving Memory
Jeffrey W. Porter 1946-2026 Lemon Grove, CA
Loving Memory
Robin Neece 1935-2026 Los Angeles, CA
Nenita Oropesa 1952-2026 Bonita, CA
Loving Memory
Patricia Louise Payne 1929-2026 Coronado, CA
Caroline Neumeister 1959-2026 Poway, CA
Joseph Allen Oviatt 1949-2026 Escondido, CA
Loving Memory
Ann P. Peacock 1930-2026 Vancouver, WA
Patrica Jean (Totsy) Portz 1937-2026 Vista, CA
Loving Memory
Joseph ‘Jake’ Nieblas 1950-2026 Oceanside, CA
Sharon Elizabeth Pacyna 1930-2026 San Diego, CA
Jane E Prichard 1944-2026
Rancho Bernardo, CA
William Frederick Peters, Jr. 1950-2026 Oceanside, CA
Loving Memory
Joyce Mae Oliver 1957-2026 La Mesa, CA
Kay Pantelis 1953-2026 Rancho Bernardo, CA
Loving Memory
Peter Platt 1952-2026 La Jolla, CA
Elizabeth Ahlering Principi 1933-2026 Del Mar, CA
Loving Memory
John Robert “Jack” Queen Jr. 1934-2026
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Rancho Santa Fe, CA In
Thomas Albert Ralphs 1947-2026
Vanlear Lindbergh Reeder, Jr. 1931-2026 Ramona, CA
Michael Roach 1942-2026 La Mesa, CA
Allan Rappoport 1925-2026 San Diego, CA
Barbara Reader 1941-2026 San Diego, CA
Clarence Allen Reimer 1941-2026 San Diego, CA
Jonnie Kay (Egdahl) Schmidt 1941-2026
Bainbridge Island, WA
Kay Rogers 1975-2026 Ramona, CA
Ghillian Patricia Sichel 1943-2026 San Diego, CA
James Reed 1940-2026 San Diego, CA
Donald Lee Reynolds 1945-2026 San Diego, Ca
Elisabeth Schmidt 1946-2026 Encinitas, CA
Mary Sagat 1936-2026 El Cajon, CA
David Scott Siino 1930-2026 San Diego, CA
Timothy David Reed 1934-2026 San Diego, CA
Melvin D. Rich 1961-2026
Richard “Dick” Schneider 1941-2026 La Jolla, CA
Carol Jean Savoy 1928-2026 San Diego, CA
Loving Memory Dr. Gustavo Valentín Segade 1938-2026 Rancho Penasquitos, CA
Hyman Arthur Silverman, MD 1932-2026 La Jolla, CA
Ronald Riedberger 1933-2026 Vista, CA
Evelyn Marie Schanberger 1935-2026 San Diego, CA
Kathleen Ann Skelly 1946-2026 Oceanside, CA
Henry Shiloff 2026 Mooresville, NC
Patricia A Springett 1956-2026 San Diego, CA
Carlsbad, CA In Loving Memory
James Stachoviak 1941-2026
Loving Memory
Frank Swed 1948-2026
Carlsbad, CA
Loving Memory
John James Tyson 1940-2026
Poway, CA
Loving Memory
Loving Memory
Joseph (Joe) Starnes 1942-2026 San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Judith L. Strada 1928-2026
La Jolla, CA
James K. Thompson 1955-2026
Carlsbad, CA
Loving Memory
Wayne E. Umlauf 1935-2026 Honokaa, HI
John Clifford Wallace, Jr. 1938-2026
San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
Loving Memory
Nell Foster Waltz 1948-2026 La Jolla, CA
Virgina Wilson 1967-2026
La Mesa, CA
Donna Joan (Dupree) Strate 1922-2026 San Diego, CA
David Randall Tillerson 1937-2026
Rancho Bernardo
Stephen George Vafis 1965-2026 San Diego, CA
James and Dorothy Wirt 1942-2026 Murrieta, CA
Thor Sutowski 1930-2026
San Diego, CA
John Owen Tompkins 1947-2026
San Diego, CA
Stephen Warfield 1951-2026 La Jolla, CA
Loving Memory
Joan “Mother” Tucker 1957-2026 San Diego, CA
John Joseph Vattuone 1947-2026 San Diego, CA
Lou Yergat 1958-2026 Carlsbad, CA
Joan Wells 1953-2026 Point Loma, CA
Jeri Youtsey 1937-2026
San Diego, CA
Reginald A. Vitek 1940-2026 San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
Ervin Fred Wendt 1927-2026 San Diego, CA
Loving Memory
Saiid Zarrabian 1947-2026
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
James R. Ziegler
1934-2026
Oceanside, CA
In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Sharon Cooney 1941-2026
La Mesa, CA
1938-2026
Durham, NC
In Loving Memory
1921-2026
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
Clarabel Schubert 1929-2026
San Marcos, CA
In Loving Memory
Michael Drenan 1955-2026
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Ruth Ely 1933-2026
San Diego, CA
Sharon Smith 1939-2026
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
Leonard Tayssier 1927-2025
La Jolla, CA
Lisa Jaffe 1969-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory
John Ralph Thomas 1936-2026
Long Beach, CA
May the constant love of caring friends soften your sadness. May cherished memories bring you moments of comfort.
May lasting peace surround your grieving heart.
Caring for an ailing parent with confidence
Reversing the roles of caregiver and dependent is complicated and emotional. Adult children can become caregivers of their parents in the blink of an eye, and it can lead to doubt and anxiety for all. As unfortunate as it may be in the moment, taking over the care of ailing parents is simply a part of life. It is the natural progression that most have to face.
Here are some tips to help you deal with progressing
from someone’s child to their caregiver:
1. Accept what is happening. As difficult as it may seem, it is important to know the facts of the illness or condition that needs to behandled. If it is an illness that will eventually lead to death (whether immediate or long-term), making arrangements for a written will, funeral, and legal determinations is crucial. Completing these steps will reduce future stress and worry.
2. Have open communication with your parent. Explain that you will be handling the situation and stepping up into
the caregiver role, so that there is no question or uncertainty. It is important to take over this responsibility while also affording your parent dignity, respect and any autonomy they can still have over their own care.
3. Prepare yourself. It will be a rough road to travel. Surround yourself with a reliable support system, plenty of positive energy, and tissues. Know that you will shed tears; you will fall; you will get back up; and you will do what needs done for your parent.
4. Approach your parent with love. Be gentle, loving and
understanding, but be strong and courageous. When you are in the last moments with your parent, show them how much you love them. Let that message overshadow the message of fear. Assure your parent that they have had a wonderful life, and their pain will soon end.
5. Reach out to others. There are a number of helpful organizations whose mission is to help caregivers. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Investigate your local social services organizations about your situation. Take the help they offer. The stronger you are, the better you will take care of your parent during this
difficult time.
You have a window of opportunity to make lasting memories and to develop your parent’s hardships into a unique loving and bonding experience. Your parent brought you into the world, nurtured and enabled you to become the adult that you are today.
Caring for your ailing parent may seem unnatural and stressful, but being prepared and approaching the situation with a full toolbox can help turn it into a natural, even beautiful, experience.
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Milo McShane
Katherine Wilson
