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SEPTEMBER 2026

NEWYORKFAMILY.COM

After-School Activity Guide Find the right classes & programs

Your Kids & Social Media

New York State finalizes major new rules. Here’s what parents need to know

THE REGION'S BEST

APPLE PICKING

Family-Friendly Events Across Long Island!

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500 Montauk Highway, Oakdale, NY harrownewyork.com September 2026 | Long Island Family

CONTENTS

SEPTEMBER 2026 NewYorkFamily.com

pg. 36

pg. 32 pg. 22

pg. 14

pg. 16

FEATURES

STORIES & COLUMNS

30 | Babies Advice for New Parents

24 | Education The Best Boarding Schools to Consider

6 | Editor’s Letter

32 | Ask the Expert What Your Child Isn’t Saying

26 | Back to School Why Kids Get Sick When School Starts 34 | Parenting What Every Parent Should Know About Childhood Grief

8 | Tech New York Finalizes New Social Media Rules for Kids 10 | Money 11 Ways to Cut Costs on Grocery Bills 16 | Activities Finding the Right After-School Activities 20 | Health 6 Essential Health Checkups Men Need 22 | Special Needs Tips for Building Individualized Support 28 | Health Back-to-School Health Tips for Parents

38 | Mom Stories Moms Who Say Nope

FAMILY FUN 14 | Family Fun Apple Picking Spots 36 | Calendar The Best Family-Friendly Events Happening This Month

DIRECTORIES 18 | Directory After-School Listings

ON THE COVER Photo: Getty Images

4 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

SCAN TO REGISTER

Saturday, October 17 | 11 a.m.

September 2026 | Long Island Family

EDITOR’S NOTE

PUBLISHER: Clifford Luster EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Donna Duarte-Ladd ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER: Erin Brof ADVERTISING DIRECTOR: Stacie Goldberg EDITORIAL LEAD: Jeannine Cintron DEPUTY EDITOR: Danielle Ramos EVENTS EDITOR: Shara Levine ASSOCIATE DIGITAL EDITOR: Soe Kabbabe EDITORIAL ASSISTANT: Alexa Lutter PARTNERSHIP MANAGERS: Lauren Alperin, Lauren Anchin, Mary Cassidy, Chris Cunnington, Lori Falco, Shelli Goldberg-Peck, LynnMarie Hanley, Lisa Herlihy, Janine Mulé, Nina Spiegelman, Gwen Tomaselli MARKETING & STRATEGY DIRECTOR: Rosalia Bobé MARKETING & EVENTS COORDINATOR: Ashley Rivera MARKETING ASSISTANT: Lorens Morris MEDIA SALES ASSISTANT: Ruston Ropac ART DIRECTOR: Leah Mitch WEB DEVELOPER: Sylvan Migdal GRAPHIC DESIGNERS: Arthur Arutyunov, Connie Sulsenti EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTOR: Soe Kabbabe

Reset, Ready Summer isn’t quite over, but school is back, which means calendars are filling up, routines are returning, and before we know it, fall will be here. It’s time for new teachers, new schedules, packed backpacks, and figuring out how we’re going to fit it all in. And if there’s one thing New York parents know, it’s that the calendar doesn’t stay empty for long. This issue is packed with resources to help you jump right in. Our After-School Guide (page 16) is filled with activities, classes, and programs to help you find something your child will love after that bell rings. Of course, back to school also means more contact, which means… germs. In Why Kids Get Sick When School Starts (page 26), we look at why those first weeks back

CONTACT INFORMATION

can bring on the sniffles, and what parents should know. And what is back to school without a few rules? We break down New York’s new social media rules for kids (page 8) and what this means for families. We also have Back-to-School Health Tips for Parents (page 28), 6 Essential Health Checkups Men Need (page 20), and 11 Ways to Cut Costs on Grocery Bills (page 10), because between school supplies, activities, and everything else, September can get expensive fast! Here’s to fresh starts, getting back into the flow, and squeezing every last bit out of these final summer days before fall takes over. Happy September!

GET IN TOUCH Share your feedback and ideas about family life in New York! Email us at editorial@newyorkfamily.com and tag us at #newyorkfamily

6 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

ADVERTISING: (718) 260-4554 Advertising@NewYorkFamily.com CIRCULATION: (718) 260-8336 Tina@NewYorkFamily.com ADDRESS: New York Family Media/Schneps Media 15 MetroTech Center, Seventh Floor Brooklyn, NY 11201

PRESIDENT: Victoria Schneps-Yunis CEO: Joshua Schneps COO: Clifford Luster

New York Family is the recipient of 7 Parenting Media Awards for 2025, including Gold awards for both Design and Editorial for our monthly print publication. New York Family is published monthly by Queens Family Media, LLC. Reproduction of New York Family Media in whole or part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. All rights reserved. ©2026 Queens Family Media, LLC

FALL OPEN HOUSE: October 17 & November 14

Grades 6-12 + PG | Day & Boarding | Long Island, NY Contact Us: 631-686-1600 | admissions@knoxschool.org September 2026 | Long Island Family 7

SOCIAL MEDIA

New York Finalizes New Social Media Rules for Kids What parents need to know BY DANIELLE RAMOS

admit I do the very thing we tell our kids not to do. I get in bed, pull out my phone, and catch up on social media. It’s the one quiet time in a hectic day, and most of the time, my algorithm pulls me right in. It’s pretty difficult to keep our kids from doing the same when it’s just so tempting, and that’s partly why Gov. Kathy Hochul and New York State are stepping in. Governor Kathy Hochul and Attorney General Letitia James released in the July the final rules for the SAFE for Kids Act, a law aimed at dialing back the features that make social media so hard for kids to put down. The rules spell out exactly how companies have to verify users’ ages and get parental sign-off before turning on certain features for anyone under 18. What Is the SAFE for Kids Act? At its core, this law hands parents more control over their kids’ social media experience and takes aim at the features built to keep people scrolling. The biggest target is the algorithm-driven feeds, the endless stream of videos and posts an app serves up based on everything you’ve ever clicked, watched, or lingered on. New York officials argue these feeds aren’t just convenient; they’re engineered to keep kids hooked, and that’s contributing to some genuinely unhealthy habits. Under the new rules, platforms can’t just switch on that personalized feed for an under-18 user by default. They’ll need verified parental consent first. Changes Kids Will See Kids aren’t getting kicked off social media,

8 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

but the experience is going to look different once this kicks in: • The for you style feed will be turned off by default, unless a parent opts in • Instead of algorithm-picked content, teens will mostly see posts from accounts they follow • Notifications go silent between midnight and 6 am for minors, unless parents say otherwise • Kids can still search, browse, and use the app

minimum data necessary, and they can’t hang onto it longer than needed.

Companies Will Verify Age There will be age verification, and before a platform can unlock those restricted features, it has to confirm the user is an adult. Companies have a few ways to do that. They can verify a phone number or email, have users upload a photo or short video, or use other approved age-check tools. And platforms have to offer at least one way to do this that doesn’t require a government ID. Whatever method they use, New York’s rules say they can only collect the

Why New York Is Doing This State officials point to research linking heavy social media use, especially algorithm-driven feeds, to rising rates of anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and eating disorders among kids and teens. This law, which will take effect soon officially becoming active on January 25, 2027, isn’t a standalone effort. It’s one piece of a broader push in New York to protect kids online, alongside new rules on child data privacy, AI safety, and smartphone bans in schools.

What Parents Can Do Parents get to say yes or no to these features, and they can change their mind later if they want to loosen or tighten things up. If a parent says no, their child isn’t locked out of the app entirely. They can still search, browse, and use the parts of the platform that don’t rely on algorithmic feeds or overnight notifications.

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Funded and regulated by Nassau and Suffolk County Departments of Health & NYS Education Department Providing Services for over 50 Years, The Hagedorn Little Village School, Jack Joel Center for Special Children (HLVS), is a not-for-profit program that provides services for infants and children up to 12 years of age with learning, language, and social delays, motor impairments, and autism with no direct cost to families. Early Intervention (EI) and Committee for Preschool Special Education (CPSE) services are for children who have or who are suspected of having a developmental delay or disability. Evaluations must be referred by NCDOH/SCDOH for EI and/or to the local school district for CPSE. Services are provided based on an individual child's eligibility as established by NYS DOH and/or NYS ED department and local government at no direct cost to parents.

September 2026 | Long Island Family

MONEY

11 Ways to Cut Costs on Grocery Bills BY DANIELLE RAMOS

know I’m not the only mom who watches her grocery bill climb each week and stresses about how to pay for it all. According to the USDA, a typical family of four with two parents and two school-age kids spends between $1,018 and $1,675 per month nationally, depending on their budget. Most households land somewhere in the middle, around $1,387 a month. And if you live in New York, you already know groceries cost more here than almost anywhere else, so realistically, we are spending $1,400 to $1,700 a month, sometimes more, which is truly insane. To help offset those costs, here are 11 ways New York families can save money on groceries right now. Split Your Shopping Between Two or Three Stores The one-stop, loyal-shopper era of our parents’ time is pretty much over. A lot of families now have a new, regular rotation: a discount grocer for staples, Trader Joe’s or Costco for a few favorites, and the closest supermarket for whatever’s on sale that week. Most of us don’t have time to grab every deal, so pick two or three stores you like and trust and stick with them. Check Out Discount Grocers At Aldi and Lidl, everyday prices for staples like milk, eggs, bread, chicken, and produce are typically 20–40% lower than at traditional supermarkets. These stores have become noticeably better stocked and more pleasant to shop in over the past few years. The catch is you won’t find many name brands, and almost everything on the shelf is the store’s own label. That’s what makes the savings possible. Giving up brand names is an adjustment, but it helps you save. Lidl has recently become known for its fresh bakery, and both stores carry decent produce sections, so you can get more than just canned goods. Most of a weekly shop can be done at Aldi or Lidl, and you can save

10 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

your big local supermarket for the one or two brands your family won’t budge on. It’s a small tweak, but it can be the biggest change you can make to save. Use Trader Joe’s for Select Items Trader Joe’s has so many inventive and tasty items, but it isn’t a discount grocer in the Aldi sense. It’s also not going to beat supermarket prices on milk, eggs, or chicken breast, but it does excel in frozen food, snacks, and a handful of pantry items, where quality is high, and prices are low. Frozen vegetables, frozen fruit for smoothies, frozen dumplings and appetizers, a long list of snacks beat both the regular supermarket and the name-brand version on price, and without the quality dip you sometimes get with generics. The trick is to go in with a short, specific list and stick to it. Trader Joe’s doesn’t carry the range a family needs to cover a week’s worth of groceries; it doesn’t sell diapers and has limited household, beauty, and pet supplies. Rely on Store Brands Check your supermarket’s own value line: Stop & Shop has Nature’s Promise, and ShopRite has Bowl & Basket. Store-brand

pasta, cereal, butter, and frozen vegetables are typically 25–30% cheaper than name brands and, in blind taste tests, have been shown to be indistinguishable from name brands. Start with pantry basics like flour, rice, beans, canned tomatoes, and frozen fruit. Plan Dinner Around What’s on Sale This can be the one habit that most affects your grocery bill. Instead of deciding what’s for dinner on Tuesday and then shopping for it, flip the order: check the weekly flyer or app first to see what’s on sale, and build the week’s meals around that. See which meats, fish, or veggies your family regularly enjoys are discounted that week, and plan your menu around the sale items. It only takes about 10 minutes on a Sunday, and it can be the difference between a $150 week and a $220 one. I have planned meals like this since I had kids, and if I didn’t, I would not be able to make it work. Stock Up When Something You Use Regularly Goes on Sale Along the same lines, when a staple your family eats every week, like pasta sauce, chicken breast, diapers, hits a real low price, buying two or three instead of one. Then you won’t pay full price next month. This only

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MONEY

works for things you were buying anyway and either have a long shelf life or can be frozen. Hit the Frozen Aisle Frozen fruits and vegetables get picked and frozen at peak ripeness, and they won’t go bad in three days after you forget about them. There is no way to gauge exactly when your family will want more or less fresh fruit, so having frozen on hand is a lifesaver and a money-saver. Think of how many times you’ve thrown out old and wilted veggies and fruit. Do the Membership Math at Box Stores Costco and BJ’s memberships both run $60– $65 a year. If you’re already buying diapers, paper towels, or rotisserie chicken weekly, the savings on those alone usually cover the fee within a month or two. But if you start buying things you wouldn’t normally buy just because the unit price looks good, that can quickly eat your savings. How many families have gotten a 24-pack of a snack their kids didn’t even like, or something they don’t really need, and then it’s $20 in the trash?

12 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

To get the most value, keep a running list of exactly what you buy each month. Rice, oats, and paper products are the safest bulk bets across the board, and they don’t spoil. You can also split a membership with another family member or friend. Cook From What’s Already in the Fridge Before Buying More I recently began doing this, adding a day or two before heading to the store by using what we have instead. You can easily make a soup from a half bag of vegetables, leftover rotisserie chicken or beans, and rice. It saves money and prevents food waste. Mix Up Simple Items Meals like rice bowls, big pots of

soup, and pasta with whatever vegetables you have are inexpensive and can be family favorites. It’s an easy way to stretch protein, use up odds and ends, and avoid buying any additional special ingredients. Make a List and Stick to It It sounds almost too simple to mention, but writing a list is something I learned from my mom, and it is still one of the most effective ways to save money (and sanity). You bypass impulsive spending and make shopping easier because you’re not mentally scrambling in a crowded store with kids in tow. You don’t have to do all of this at once. Start with a few, and the savings may add up faster than you’d think.

September 2026 | Long Island Family

FAMILY FUN

Apple Picking! BY EVELYN HARTMAN AND NEW YORK FAMILY

othing says fall on Long Island quite like a day at the orchard. Whether you’re filling a bag with crisp apples, sipping fresh cider, or treating the kids to hayrides and farm animals, apple picking is one of the season’s favorite family traditions. From the East End to the North Fork, Long Island is home to family farms that offer everything from classic pick-your-own experiences to bakeries, farm markets, corn mazes, and plenty of fresh air. Whether you’re planning a quick afternoon outing or making a full day of it, these orchards offer something for every age. Apple Notes: Orchard hours, admission, pricing, reservation requirements, apple varieties, and seasonal attractions can change throughout the fall based on weather and harvest conditions. Before heading out, we recommend checking each farm’s website or social media pages for the latest information. Breeze Hill Farm 31215 County Road (Route 48), Peconic, NY 11958 631-876-5159 breezehillfarm.com Located on the North Fork in Peconic, Breeze Hill Farm is home to more than 70 acres of apple orchards featuring a wide variety of apples throughout the season. After filling your bag, stop by the farm stand for fresh apple cider donuts, homemade pies, and other seasonal treats. Wickham’s Fruit Farm 28700 Main Road, Cutchogue, NY 11935 631-734-6441 wickhamsfruitfarm.com Family-owned for generations, Wickham’s Fruit Farm offers beautiful waterfront views along with a classic apple-picking experience. Before heading home, browse the farm market for fresh apples, local honey, jams, and seasonal gifts.

14 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

Milk Pail U-Pick Farm 50 Horsemill Lane, Water Mill, NY 11976 631-537-2565 milk-pail.com A favorite destination near the Hamptons, Milk Pail U-Pick Farm is known for its dwarf apple trees, making picking easy for visitors of all ages. In addition to apples, families can often find pumpkins, gourds, squash, and other seasonal produce throughout the fall. Seven Ponds Orchard 65 Seven Ponds Road, Water Mill, NY 11976 631-726-8015 sevenpondsorchard.com Seven Ponds Orchard is a longtime East End favorite offering pick-your-own apples alongside fresh produce and baked goods. The farm’s relaxed atmosphere makes it an ideal stop during a day exploring Long Island’s farm country. Lewin Farms 812 Sound Avenue, Calverton, NY 11933 631-929-4327 lewinfarm.com Now in its fourth generation of family ownership, Lewin Farms offers a classic Long Island apple-picking experience surrounded by beautiful farmland. While you’re there, be sure to explore the farm’s seasonal attractions, including its popular corn maze. Harbes Family Farm & Orchard 715 Sound Avenue, Mattituck, NY 11952 1224 Main Road (NY-25), Jamesport, NY 11947 631-482-7641 harbesfamilyfarm.com

Harbes is one of Long Island’s best-known fall destinations for families. Along with dozens of apple varieties, visitors can enjoy pumpkin picking, hayrides, corn mazes, farm animals, and plenty of family-friendly attractions that make it easy to spend an entire day on the farm. Hayden’s Orchard 561 Hulse Landing Road, Wading River, NY 11792 631-929-1115 haydensorchard.com Set along Long Island’s scenic North Shore, Hayden’s Orchard is a peaceful destination for apple picking and enjoying the beauty of the fall season. It’s a wonderful choice for families looking for a quieter orchard experience. Hank’s Pumpkintown 240 Montauk Highway, Water Mill, NY 11976 631-726-4667 hankspumpkintown.com Hank’s Pumpkintown combines apple picking with plenty of kid-friendly attractions, including duck races, giant slides, jump pads, farm animals, and seasonal activities that make it one of Long Island’s most popular fall destinations. Woodside Orchards 729 Main Road, Aquebogue, NY 11931 631-722-5770 woodsideorchards.com Woodside Orchards grows dozens of apple varieties throughout the season and offers families a traditional pick-your-own orchard experience in the heart of Long Island’s farm country.

September 2026 | Long Island Family

ACTIVITIES

Finding the Right After-School Activities

rom sports and dance to academic enrichment, art, music, and more, kids have plenty of ways to spend their time after school. But with a new school year come new schedules, and finding the right balance can take some thought. Here’s how to choose activities your child will enjoy without overloading the family calendar. The Benefits of Getting Involved After sitting at a desk all day, kids need opportunities to move around, play, and simply enjoy being kids. Physical activities can be a great way to help them get some energy out and reset after a busy day at school. After-school activities provide an ideal environment in which to nurture social skills and confidence,” says Shawna Stewart, program accounts specialist at MakerState LLC, a STEM enrichment program in Manhattan. “They teach children the value of working as a team to achieve a mutual goal—a skill that will benefit them in their future occupations.” Whether it’s joining a soccer team, taking an art class, learning an instrument, or trying something completely new, extracurriculars give kids a chance to explore their interests, make friends, and discover what they love. How to Find What Your Kid Loves There’s no need for kids to find their passion right away. Younger children may enjoy trying a few different activities before settling on a favorite, while older kids may have a better sense of what interests them. “By middle school, if not before, students should be experimenting with a diverse set of after-school endeavors that align with any interests they express,” says Kat Cohen, Ph.D., college admissions counselor and founder of IvyWise, an educational consulting company. When it comes to selecting an activity, give your child some say in the decision. For younger kids, a ranking system can help. Make a list of activities your child enjoys or would like to try, and ask them to rank their

16 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

favorites. The goal is for them to feel like they have a voice in how they spend their time. And if they try something and decide it’s not for them? That’s okay, too. Part of growing up is figuring out what you like— and what you don’t. How to Figure Out a Workable Schedule Figuring out your kid’s individual threshold can be tricky, especially when the school year gets going and calendars start filling up. “Start with one after-school activity, then gradually add more as your child seems able to handle a more intense schedule,” Dr. Lieberman suggests. It’s important to make sure your kids don’t lose sight of the things that matter to your family, academics, family dinners, downtime, and simply having time to be a

kid. Siblings may also have very different activity levels and interests. “Every student is different, so there is no magic number of hours that should be devoted to after-school activities,” Dr. Cohen says. Most importantly, pay attention to how your child is feeling. Are they excited to go? Do they come home happy and energized, or overwhelmed and exhausted? “Use your intuition to really understand your child’s interests and favorite hobbies,” says Megan Gallagher, a TED Talk speaker, best-selling author, and mental health advocate for teenagers. “As a parent, the best thing you can do is to be present and show up.” Whatever you choose, remember that there’s no perfect after-school schedule. The goal is to give your child opportunities to have fun, make friends, try something new, and discover what they love.

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AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAMS & ACTIVITIES DIRECTORY | Special Advertising Supplement

Club SciKidz Long Island 7 Macintosh Lane, Selden, NY 11784 Stewart@clubscikidz.com 631-650-1379 centrallongisland.clubscikidz. com Club SciKidz is the leading STEM camp and after school program that operates all around the United States. The camp offers educational & fun activities such as Battle Bots, 3D Printing, AI, Rocketry, Engineering, Vet & Physician Camps. The afterschool program takes place on the 2nd Saturday of every month from 1:30PM to 3:30PM beginning in October. The program offers workshops in Rocketry, 3D printing, AI & Block Coding, Lego Spike and more. The cost is only $49 and includes all materials.

German Language School of Greater New York Manhattan classes: East 65th St. Long Island classes: Garden City and Franklin Square kidslearngerman@aol.com 212-787-7543

german-american-school.org The German Language School of Greater New York* has taught German to children since 1892. The school welcomes children of all backgrounds. Lower grades receive bilingual instruction; upper grades are taught in German. Accredited by NY State Regents since 1911, the school’s students complete the FLAC exam. College-bound students take AP training, and pupils are encouraged to take A1/A2 exams. *dba German-American School Association

Gold Medal Gymnastics & Ninja Multiple locations: Centereach, Garden City, Huntington, Levittown, Rocky Point, Smithtown gmgc.com For over 50 years, Gold Medal Gymnastics & Ninja has helped Long Island kids build confidence, strength, coordination, and lifelong skills in a fun, positive environment. With six convenient Long Island locations, GMGC offers gymnastics and ninja classes for all ages and

abilities, plus tumbling, camps, birthday parties, special events, and competitive teams. Their state-of-the-art facilities and experienced, caring instructors make every child feel like a champion. Discover why Long Island families choose Gold Medal! GMGC.com.

Music Institute of Long Island 90 Plandome Road, Manhasset miligirls@gmail.com 516-627-7052 milimusic.com Established in 1990, Music Institute of Long Island (MILI) is a classical music school with exceptional instructors from the most prestigious United States and European conservatories. Long Island’s premier music school is consistently voted #1. Instrumental programs starting at age 3 and up include violin, viola, cello, piano, flute, clarinet, saxophone, and voice. Traditional, Suzuki, and ABRSM methods. Students participate in All-National, All-Eastern, and All-State youth orchestras

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TGA and Little Medical School of Northern Nassau County 1129 Northern Blvd. Manhasset, NY 11030 moronke@playtga.com 516-904-4711 Playtga.com/ny/ northernnassaucounty TGA of Northern Nassau County and Little Medical School are now one family, bringing together sports and STEM enrichment for children. Through TGA, kids build confidence, coordination, and life skills with golf, tennis, pickleball, and multi-sport programs. Through Little Medical School, children explore medicine, science, and healthcare with hands-on activities and role-play-based learning. Together, these programs inspire active bodies, curious minds, and confident kids through after-school programs, camps, clinics, and special events. Strong Bodies. Strong Minds. Confident Kids.

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For More Information Email: Kidslearngerman@aol.com 18 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

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September 2026 | Long Island Family

HEALTH

6 Essential Health Checkups Men Need BY DANIELLE RAMOS

raditionally, Men’s Health Month is in June, but the point behind it shouldn’t be only about one month of awareness. Men’s health isn’t just personal. It affects the people who count on him: kids, partners, the whole family. Regular checkups and screenings keep men around and able to show up for the people who need them, including themselves. To help you support the men in your life, we’re sharing expert insight from Dr. Joseph Alukal, director of the Men’s Health Program at NewYork-Presbyterian, with clear, decadeby-decade checklists. “There is no demographic that utilizes healthcare resources less than men between the ages of 18 and 45, followed closely by men ages 45 to 64,” says Dr. Joseph Alukal, a urologist at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center and an associate professor of urology at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons. Dr. Alukal breaks down the key health screenings and doctor’s visits men should have at every stage of life.

Checklist for Men in Their 20s & 30s Primary care visit: Once a year. “It’s important to have a relationship with a doctor you trust, whom you can check in with and figure out how to get screened or tested as soon as possible if needed,” says Dr. Alukal. “Even if you’re in your 20s and 30s and are generally healthy, take this opportunity to create a relationship with a doctor you are comfortable with.” Blood test screening: Once a year. “The blood work that’s being done includes things like measurements of white and red blood cells, blood chemistry, blood sugar, and cholesterol,” says Dr. Alukal, explaining that this allows physicians to assess your risk for conditions like diabetes, kidney disorders, and heart disease. Expert’s Take: Your primary care doctor might also perform other screenings, like a urine test, to check for kidney disorders, liver problems, and diabetes. “All these things together actually become a really good screening platform for things like diabetes, which causes so many other health problems,

blood cancers like leukemia or lymphoma, and kidney failure, which can happen in a patient who has uncontrolled blood pressure,” says Dr. Alukal. Checklist for Men in Their 40s & 50s Primary care visit: At least once a year or as often as needed. Routine blood test screening: At least once a year or as often as needed. Colonoscopy: With more young people being diagnosed and dying of colon cancer in recent years, the American Cancer Society recommends starting screening at age 45, earlier if you have a family history of colon cancer. For those without a history of colon cancer, it’s generally recommended to get a colonoscopy every 10 years after the initial screening. PSA (prostate-specific antigen) blood test: Once a year starting at age 55, or earlier if you have a family history of prostate cancer. Skin cancer screening: Once a year. More frequently, if there is a family history of skin cancer or a history of prolonged sun exposure. Cardiology screening: At least once a year or as needed, especially if you have a family history of heart disease. Expert’s Take: “The strong recommendation from the American Urological Association is to get a prostate exam and a PSA, a blood test that indirectly measures prostate cancer risk, at age 55,” says Dr. Alukal. “While the manual prostate exam is definitely something that patients need at least once a year once they turn 40, the PSA test has become a very controversial test and for good reason — it’s not perfect. That’s why I always encourage men, once they’re in their 40s, to speak with their doctor, share their family history of prostate cancer, if any, and move forward from there” “Prostate cancer behaves differently than,

20 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

say, colon cancer, so I recommend working with a urologist to determine when to start screening. You can then have the discussion about the PSA test, its risks and benefits, and whether you need to get one.” Checklist for Men in Their 60s & Older Primary care visit: At least once a year or as often as needed. Routine blood test screening: At least once a year or as often as needed. Colonoscopy: Varies for each individual and depends on family history of colon cancer and the colonoscopy results. For most people who are at average risk, once every 10 years after turning 45. Prostate exam and/or PSA blood test: Once a year. Skin cancer screening: Once a year. More frequently, if there is a family history of skin cancer or a history of prolonged sun exposure. Cardiology screening: At least once a year or as needed, especially if you have a family history of heart disease. Expert’s Take: “I try to get patients in this age range to think of these visits as yearly tune-ups,” adds Dr. Alukal. “It’s like taking your car in for an oil change. What we’re trying to do is head off any problems before they happen.” Checklist and tips provided courtesy of Dr. Joseph Alukal and NewYork-Presbyterian Health Matters. Joseph Alukal, M.D., director of the Men’s Health Program at NewYork-Presbyterian, is a urologist at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center and NewYorkPresbyterian Westchester. He is also the Andrew Sabin Family Foundation Associate Professor of Urology at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons.

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SPECIAL NEEDS

Tips for Building Individualized Support Self-direction via OPWDD BY DONNA DUARTE-LADD

or many families navigating developmental disability services, it all can feel like a lot because IT IS. If you are receiving Office for People With Developmental Disabilities (OPWDD) services, you have made some big strides in your child’s care. While OPWDD is a tremendous resource, the aid is structured around what agencies can offer, and while this is a huge help, it may not always be fully attuned to what your child truly needs. That’s why many of us parents eventually find our way to something called Self-Direction via OPWDD. Like most helpful resources I learn about that can help my child, I learned about them from other parents. These are parents who have their children receiving services through OPWDD. As my son got older, the options didn’t feel aligned with what he needed on a daily basis. And while services are always super appreciated, I knew that we needed different support. Around that same time, I spoke with a fellow mom whose daughter, now an adult with Rett Syndrome, had been using Self-Direction for years. Hearing her perspective made the service feel like the next step. Hearing how this family had built their life around it successfully helped push me to explore Self-Direction more seriously. I immediately brought this up to our care manager, who is a subcontractor through OPWDD, but I was told it might not be the right fit because I was always busy at work and it might be too stressful for me. She was right; most parents are overwhelmed, and show me a special needs parent who doesn’t have a lot on their plate! It wasn’t until my son was assigned a more supportive care manager, not just of my child, but also of helping me navigate the paperwork that Self-Direction entails, that I felt really supported. What is Self-Direction? In layperson’s terms, Self-Direction is a

service option through OPWDD that allows families to design and manage the support for their child rather than relying solely on traditional agency-run programs. In simple terms, it gives families more control over how services are delivered and what their child’s support system actually looks like day to day. All self-direction classes, care has to all be approved, will explain more on this in a bit. Instead of fitting into a pre-set schedule or program, families participating in SelfDirection can hire their own support staff, create individualized routines, and design services that reflect their child’s interests, strengths, and goals. How Self-Direction Works While it’s called Self-Direction, families aren’t navigating the process alone. The model includes several key roles that help support families along the way: Broker: A broker helps families create a support plan and identify goals for their child. They also help determine how to allocate the approved budget to support those goals. Basically, they are in charge of the money approved for spending. This still means you have to be aware of the budget, how it is being spent, and the adjustments needed to stay within the yearly budget. Luckily, you are not alone. With a good broker, you will have check-ins monthly, if not bi-weekly. Fiscal Intermediary (FI): The FI handles the administrative side of things—payroll, taxes, and compliance—so support staff can

22 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

be paid, and the program remains in compliance with OPWDD regulations. They are who approve every single submission. Direct Support Professionals (DSPs): These are the staff members families hire to work directly with their child. DSPs might spend time with a child in the community, work on life skills, support social development, or help with everyday routines. One of the biggest differences between Self-Direction and traditional services is flexibility. Supports do not have to happen only during standard program hours or inside a facility. They can take place at home, after school, on weekends, or out in the community. For many families, that flexibility allows their child to build real-life skills in environments where they feel comfortable. Self-Direction also allows families to choose the people who support their child. Instead of rotating staff assigned by an agency, parents can hire individuals who genuinely connect with their child and understand their personality, communication style, and needs. That level of consistency can make a meaningful difference. Getting Started Getting started, however, isn’t as simple as signing up. My first step was attending an online seminar (start here: opwdd.ny.gov/getstarted/ front-door), which is required before moving forward in the Self-Direction process. Families participate in the training and receive a certifi-

cate before they can continue to the next steps. The seminar walks through the basics of how Self-Direction works and what responsibilities families take on when choosing this path. After that comes the registration process—and with it, a fair amount of paperwork. There are forms to fill out, approvals to move through, and meetings to help establish the program’s structure. Like many things within disability services, it requires patience and time. We are still fairly new to Self-Direction, and I’m learning as I go. One of the things I’m figuring out right now is how to manage the paperwork and the financial side of things. In some cases, families have to pay for certain items or services upfront and then submit the paperwork for reimbursement. For me, that has often meant putting expenses on my credit card and waiting to be reimbursed later. This part can be stressful, as it means that if you do not get an invoice pre-approved for the class or activity you are taking, the agency that manages your child’s Self-Direction budget will need to pay it and then be reimbursed.

Not every family can float expenses like this, and I think about it often. While Self Direction creates opportunities for more personalized support, the logistics can sometimes pose barriers that families must navigate carefully. The Promise of Self-Direction At its core, Self-Direction was designed to create more individualized support systems. This is a support that recognizes your child’s life plan may require individualized services to meet the goals set for them. This includes what their IEP states and what their care team is helping you work through to best support your child. The real shift is this: instead of trying to fit your child into an existing structure, the structure is meant to adapt to the child. For example, right now, my son, who is a little over six months in, is an eloper, which means water can be dangerous. So we have him in swim classes. For me, this shows him that pools are for swimming, and there are rules about how you get into the pool and how you swim. This is a life-safety skill. Of course, there is a trade-off. More flexibil-

ity also means more responsibility. Parents often find themselves interviewing staff, managing schedules, communicating with support workers, and staying organized with paperwork and planning. Many families describe Self-Direction as empowering—but also demanding. Still, I come back to the reason we started. Self-Direction offers the possibility of building support that truly fits my child—support that aligns with his personality and how he experiences the world. Right now, we’re still early in the process. I’m learning how to submit paperwork, how reimbursements work, and how the entire system fits together. Like many things in parenting a child with different needs, it’s a mix of hope, trial and error, and a lot of learning along the way. But even at this early stage, I can see why so many families talk about Self-Direction as a turning point. It offers something that can sometimes feel rare in complex systems: the chance to build supports around your child’s real life. And for many parents, that possibility is worth the learning curve.

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EDUCATION

BOARDING SCHOOLS F or some families, the traditional day-school experience isn’t the only path to a great education. Boarding school is a big decision, but it can also open the door to an exciting new experience for students that extends beyond the classroom. These schools offer structured learning environments, built-in academic support, and a strong sense of community, all in one place to help your child blossom. Many also provide top-notch extracurriculars, college prep, and opportunities to foster leadership and confidence. The right school can provide the structure and support your child needs to thrive, now and in the future. Here are some excellent programs to consider.

EF Academy New York 582 Columbus Ave, Thornwood, NY 12533 914-495-6056, academy.ny@ef.com efacademy.org/en-us/new-york

Located on a beautiful campus in Thornwood, New York, EF Academy offers American students a global education without leaving home. The student body represents more than 40 countries, creating an international community where students learn alongside classmates from different cultures, perspectives, and experiences. Students can choose from the IB Diploma Program and a range of AP courses, with pathways designed to support their interests and university goals. A welcoming community includes day students as well as 5-day and 7-day boarders, offering flexibility for families while keeping every student connected to campus life. With a diverse community, personalized academics, and a welcoming campus, EF Academy provides an international high school experience in Westchester.

Harrow International School New York 500 Montauk Highway 631-869-1572, admissions@harrownewyork.com harrownewyork.com

The Harvey School 260 Jay Street, Katonah, NY 10536 914-232-3161, ext. 113, admissions@harveyschool.org harveyschool.org, harveyschool.org/open-house

The Harvey School invites prospective boarding students and their families to attend their Fall Open House on Saturday, October 24, 2026 from 9:00am to 12:00pm on their beautiful hilltop 125-acre campus in Westchester County, Katonah, NY. Five-day boarding offered for students in grades 9-12 for both domestic and international students. Board during the week and still have family time at home on weekends. Rigorous academics and competitive athletics, a thriving arts program, 70+ electives to enhance curriculum, and a kind, caring community where students are truly known. Harvey teachers know their students well and guide them to embrace their strengths and discover their passions while feeling confident to be themselves as they strive to become who they want to be.

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Harrow International School New York, situated on an extraordinary 170-acre Long Island waterfront campus between New York City and the Hamptons, offers a prestigious boarding and day school for grades 6–12. Rooted in 450 years of British traditions, this IB World School blends rigorous academics with real-world readiness. Flexible options include 5-day boarding with weekend returns, 7-day boarding, or day school. The campus sits minutes from the LIRR and within easy reach of Long Island MacArthur, JFK, and LaGuardia airports, simplifying arrivals for families near and far. Small class sizes ensure personalized attention, while a strong individual care system fosters leadership, confidence, and character. With a global student body and a values-driven community, Harrow New York nurtures well-rounded, future-ready individuals. Learn more at harrownewyork.com.

The Knox School

The Masters School

541 Long Beach Road, Saint James, NY 11780 631-686-1600, admissions@knoxschool.org knoxschool.org

49 Clinton Avenue, Dobbs Ferry, NY 10522 914-479-6420, admission@mastersny.org mastersny.org

At The Knox School, being known changes what’s possible. On its Long Island waterfront campus, students in grades 6–12 join an intentionally small, globally diverse boarding and day community where a 6:1 student-teacher ratio ensures they are seen, valued, and understood. Faculty know each student as a learner and as a person, helping them see possibilities they may not yet recognize in themselves. With 35 AP and Honors courses and 20 dual-enrollment college courses, personalized academic pathways challenge students to grow, while arts, athletics, and leadership opportunities encourage new interests and meaningful risktaking. Along the way, students build confidence and a sense of purpose, ready to thrive in college and beyond. At Knox, students don’t simply prepare for what’s next. They discover who they can become.

The Masters School’s 5-day boarding program offers students the best of both worlds: an immersive boarding experience during the week and time with family on weekends. From Sunday evening through Friday, students live on a beautiful 96-acre campus in Dobbs Ferry, New York, where they benefit from faculty mentorship, evening study sessions, athletics, the arts, and a close-knit residential community. With peers from across the country and around the world, students form lasting friendships while developing independence, confidence, and a strong sense of responsibility. They are encouraged to explore their interests, take on new challenges, and make the most of a vibrant campus life. At Masters, students become part of a community where they are known, supported, and encouraged to grow.

Ross School 18 Goodfriend Drive, East Hampton 631-907-5400 ross.org

Ross School’s mission is to change how education meets the future by fostering interdisciplinary, integrated thinking and innovative leadership, engaging fully in the global community, and facilitating lifelong learning. A co-educational boarding school (grades 7–12 and postgraduate) and day school (preschool–12th grade and postgraduate), Ross is located on two beautiful campuses in East Hampton and Bridgehampton, New York, about two hours east of New York City. Serving approximately 320 students and attracting a world-class faculty, the school offers a global, integrated curriculum with engaging courses in science, math, arts, humanities, and wellness, along with opportunities for independent study, competitive athletics, extracurricular activities, and travel. With an emphasis on direct personal experiences, inquiry through primary sources, and hands-on interpretation and analysis of information, Ross School prepares students for success beyond the classroom. The school boasts a strong college placement program, with 100% of applicants receiving acceptances at competitive colleges and universities.

Simon’s Rock at Bard College 30 Seminary Drive, Barrytown, NY 12507 845-752-5600, admit@sr.bard.edu simons-rock.edu

Simon’s Rock at Bard College is an early college that allows students to begin full-time college studies at a younger age. With multiple entry points for all high school aged students, the curriculum culminates in a B.A. degree from Bard College, completed sooner than the traditional college degree timeline. Located just minutes from Bard College’s main campus, Simon’s Rock offers boarding and day student options. September 2026 | Long Island Family

BACK TO SCHOOL

Why Kids Get Sick When School Starts A pediatrician explains what’s normal BY DANIELLE RAMOS

hen my kids were in grade school, the end of summer was all backpacks, last-minute summer reading, a new box of pens and pencils, and, without fail, the back-to-school illness. Within a couple of weeks of the first day, somebody was coming home with a cold or a cough or a sore throat that was clearly going around the whole school. Is it normal, though? Getting sick right when school starts up always felt like some kind of rite of passage, but I wanted to actually know how much of it is expected, and whether there’s anything parents can do differently. So we talked to Dr. Kristina Melchert, Chief of Pediatric Hospital Medicine at Maria Fareri Children’s Hospital at Westchester Medical Center, about why illnesses spike once school’s back in session, which viruses show up most, and what families can actually do to cut down the risk. When kids go back to school, it seems like everyone catches something in the first few weeks. Is that unavoidable? It’s certainly common, but it’s not completely unavoidable. When children return to school, they’re suddenly spending hours each day in close contact with dozens of other children, sharing classrooms, supplies, and germs. Over the summer, many families have less exposure to the viruses that circulate in schools, so those first few weeks back often create the perfect environment for respiratory illnesses to spread. The good news is that each exposure helps build immunity, and for many children, the frequency of illnesses decreases as they get older. What do kids usually come down with when school reopens? The most common illnesses are the everyday respiratory viruses that cause colds,

coughs, congestion, sore throats, and fevers. Rhinovirus, the virus responsible for the common cold, is especially active in the early fall. We also see enteroviruses, which can cause fever, cold symptoms, or hand-footand-mouth disease. In addition to viral infections, pediatricians often see an increase in bacterial illnesses such as strep throat and impetigo as children return to close contact with classmates. COVID-19 continues to circulate year-round, and influenza typically begins increasing later in the fall and winter. How do you know if your child always getting sick each year is normal, or something to worry about?

26 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

For younger children, especially those in daycare, preschool, or the early elementary years, having multiple viral illnesses each year is normal. In fact, many healthy children can experience six to eight respiratory infections annually, and sometimes more. What matters is how they recover between illnesses. If a child is growing well, has good energy between infections, and isn’t experiencing severe or unusual infections, frequent colds alone usually aren’t a sign that something is wrong with their immune system. What can parents actually do to help their kids stay a little healthier through all the back-to-school sicknesses? Parents should focus on the habits that

reduce exposure and support overall health. Encourage regular handwashing, teach children to cover coughs and sneezes, keep them home when they’re truly ill, and stay up to date on recommended vaccinations. Vaccines remain one of the most effective tools we have to prevent serious illness and missed school days. Just as importantly, make sure children are getting enough sleep, staying physically active, and eating a balanced diet. These measures won’t eliminate illness, but they can reduce risk and help children recover more quickly when they do get sick. If you look at the basics, like sleep, food, vitamins, and hygiene, what makes the biggest difference? If I had to prioritize, I would focus on four things: sleep, hygiene, nutrition, and vaccination. Adequate sleep plays a critical role in immune function, and many children return to school after a summer of later bedtimes. Handwashing remains one of the simplest and most effective ways to reduce the spread of infections.

"Over the summer, many families have less exposure to the viruses that circulate in schools, so those first few weeks back often create the perfect environment for respiratory illnesses to spread." A balanced diet supports overall health, and staying up to date on recommended vaccines, including the annual flu vaccine, helps protect children from some of the illnesses most likely to disrupt school attendance. Most healthy children who eat a varied diet do not need special immuneboosting supplements or vitamins. What are some things parents swear by that

might not be doing much or might even backfire? Many products are marketed as “immune boosters,” but most have little evidence showing they prevent common childhood illnesses. Parents can end up spending significant money on supplements that provide little benefit. Another common misconception is that exposure to germs should be avoided at all costs. While no one wants their child to be sick, encountering common viruses is a normal part of childhood and helps the immune system develop over time. Finally, unnecessary antibiotic use can do more harm than good because most backto-school illnesses are caused by viruses, not bacteria. Antibiotics should be reserved for infections where they are truly needed, such as strep throat or impetigo. I tell parents all the time that the goal isn’t to prevent every childhood illness. That’s impossible. The goal is to reduce the risk of serious illness and keep children healthy enough to learn, play, thrive, and enjoy being kids.

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HEALTH

BACK-TO-SCHOOL HEALTH TIPS FOR PARENTS BOOST YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM WITH DAILY VITAMINS

CONSIDER A FLU SHOT

Give your immune system the support it needs to keep up with busy days

Back-to-school season often means increased exposure to germs

Vitamin C – Supports immune health

• Helps reduce the risk of seasonal illness

Vitamin D – Helps support bones, muscles, and immunity

• Protects both parents and children

Vitamin B – Supports energy and metabolism

• Talk with your healthcare provider about what’s right for you

Magnesium – May help with sleep and muscle health Zinc – Supports immune function and overall wellness TIP: Talk with your healthcare provider about which supplements are right for you.

ADD PROBIOTICS TO YOUR ROUTINE

TIP: Schedule your flu shot early in the school year.

PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE • Connect with friends or family for emotional support

• Try Kimchi Kombucha • Support gut health with fiber-rich fruits and vegetables. TIP: Helps maintain overall wellness and supports your body’s natural defenses

• Try essential oils to help reduce stress. Lavender Chamomile Lemon Geranium Bergamot TIP: Always follow safety guidelines and dilute oils properly

MAKE SLEEP NON-NEGOTIABLE

Help support immunity, mood and energy Helps support immunity, mood & energy Create a consistent bedtime routine. Avoid scrolling, emails, and household tasks right before bed. TIP: Reserve late-night work and projects for only a few nights a week.

28 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

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BABIES

Advice for New Parents What to know — from the delivery room to bringing baby home BY DR. MAJA CASTILLO AND MARIA SMILIOS

bout 100,000 babies are born in New York City every year. That’s 100,000 families stepping into one of the most profound — and let’s be honest, most terrifying — moments of their lives. The joy is real. So is the fear. So is the exhaustion that hits before you’ve even left the hospital. Choosing Where to Have Your Baby The hospital closest to you isn’t always the right one — and you deserve to ask questions before you’re in labor. When you’re researching where to give birth, the things that matter most aren’t always in the brochure. Ask what happens the moment you walk in during labor. Ask who specifically will be in the room with you. Ask what support you’ll receive before they send you home with this new person you’re suddenly responsible for. And make sure the hospital is equipped to handle the unexpected, because sometimes it happens, and you want to know the right people are already there. You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone One of the most underrated things a new parent can do is talk to other parents. Not for advice, necessarily, but just for the reminder that what you’re feeling is normal, that someone else has been up at 3 am wondering the same things you are. That support can look like an in-person group, an online community, or a structured program. At Flushing Hospital Medical Center, we offer Centering Pregnancy, which brings expectant mothers together with health experts to ask questions, share experiences, and build the kind of community that carries you through those early weeks.

Pick Your Pediatrician Before the Baby Arrives This may surprise a lot of parents, but your baby will typically need to see a pediatrician within one to two days of coming home. That first visit covers weight, feeding, and a general health check, and it goes a lot smoother when you’re not scrambling to find a doctor while running on no sleep. Once you have a pediatrician, use them. Call with the small questions. That’s what they’re there for. Take Your Own Health Seriously, Too The focus after birth naturally shifts to the baby, but you matter too, and your health directly affects your child’s. The CDC estimates that about 1 in 9 women experience postpartum depression, meaning it’s far more common than most people realize, and far more treatable than

30 NewYorkFamily.com | September 2026

many fear. Mood and anxiety disorders in perinatal health impact 1 in 5 women, according to the Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA). It’s normal to feel a rush of emotions in those first weeks. But if what you’re feeling tips into persistent sadness, anxiety, or a sense that something is off, say something. You can talk to your own doctor, your baby’s pediatrician, or a support group. Asking for help isn’t a sign that you’re struggling — it’s a sign that you’re paying attention. Maria Smilios, CNS, Director of Nursing at Flushing Hospital Medical Center, was born at the same hospital she now serves and is deeply committed to supporting the diverse communities of Queens. Dr. Maja Castillo, MD, is a Healthfirst Medical Director, pediatrician, mother, and proud Queens resident.

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ASK THE EXPERT

What Your Child Isn’t Saying Dr. Shefali and the quiet clues your child may need help BY DANIELLE RAMOS

first discovered Dr. Shefali Tsabary years ago on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, right when her book The Conscious Parent came out. I was fascinated and absolutely loved how she prioritized a child’s emotional world. Her perspective felt both intuitive and deeply compassionate. It was a philosophy I fully embraced and still do. Dr. Shefali is a clinical psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and the founder of the Conscious Parenting movement, and she’s spent her career helping parents see past achievement and behavior to what’s actually going on inside a child. Her upcoming books, Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons (available for pre-order now, releasing September 15, 2026), get into how cultural expectations and emotional conditioning shape the way girls and boys grow into themselves. We recently caught up with Dr. Shefali, and she shared powerful insights into what parents often miss when children seem “fine” on the outside, and how we can raise kids who aren’t just successful, but emotionally connected, resilient, and grounded in their own inner voice. What’s here is just a taste of everything Dr. Shefali shared with us. The full two-part conversation is online at NewYorkFamily.com, where it goes even deeper.

A lot of kids seem to be doing everything right. They get good grades, are involved in sports, and have packed schedules, but underneath that, many are struggling. What signs are parents often missing? The signs are often hiding in plain sight — and often, can be picked up through nonverbal signs such as fatigue, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and joy. The child who is anxious and stays up at night, or overly perfectionistic and worries about every score and grade. The one who loses sleep or appetite. Or the one who gets agitated easily. All of these are signs of a child who feels like they are in a pressure cooker of performance and achievement. Most of the time, the more a child looks perfect on the outside, the greater the likelihood that they are flailing on the inside. When children are pushed to perform and when childhood becomes an endless resume of achievements, it is often at the price of their well-being. A child who seems “fine” by every external measure but is exhausted, compliant, and joyless is not fine. Parents miss this because we’ve been conditioned to confuse performance with well-being. When a child is achieving and high functioning, we stop asking questions. What I see again and again in my work is kids who have become exquisitely attuned to what earns them love—the grades, the trophies, the full calendar—and have learned to

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suppress everything that might cost them that approval. Our children will always choose connection over authenticity. A daughter who says “I’m fine” when you ask how she’s doing. A son who goes quiet the moment you start talking to him. The withdrawal, the flatness, the loss of spontaneous laughter. These are the signs. The truth is that no child enters the world hungry for gold stars. That hunger is learned. It grows in those moments when a child discovers that achievement buys approval. When we praise the grind, we’re teaching fear. They learn to be afraid of being ordinary. And the child who has built their entire identity around external achievement doesn’t know how to tell you they are drowning, because the performance is who they believe they are. How is this constant comparison and performance pressure showing up in children emotionally, especially in terms of anxiety, perfectionism, and self-doubt? It is showing up as a generation that has learned to perform and base their choices on the external validation of strangers rather than to feel. And the body always tells the truth, even when the child can’t. Nearly sixty percent of teen girls now report persistent sadness—the highest percentage ever recorded. Rates of self-harm, eating disorders, and suicidal ideation have surged. Girls as young as nine are describing body

What Is “Algorithmic Abduction”?

dysmorphia. These are the visible symptoms of a generation placed under constant surveillance, ranked by strangers, and taught that a photo with too few likes is evidence of their own inadequacy. The resulting anxiety is inevitable. When every post is a potential verdict on your worth, the nervous system stays in a near-constant state of alarm. And over time, perfectionism becomes the coping mechanism—if I just get it right enough, I will finally be safe. For boys, the manifestation is different, but the wound is the same. Their anxiety shows up as withdrawal, numbness, rage, or disappearing into screens for hours. We misread this as apathy or defiance, when in fact it is a boy whose nervous system has pulled the emergency brake. He is overloaded. He doesn’t have words for it. And the culture around him is not offering any. Why do so many girls today seem caught between high achievement and deep selfdoubt? And how do you support a daughter in a culture that still expects girls to be accommodating, capable, and emotionally responsible for everyone else? Because she has been given two impossible scripts and told to perform both at once. Be brilliant but be agreeable. Achieve everything, but don’t take up too much space. Be strong but not loud. Be confident, but make sure everyone is comfortable. These are contradictory expectations. And the girl caught between them cannot win, so she internalizes the failure as her own. What we have done, generation after generation, is train our daughters to silence their inner voice—to override it, dismiss it, apologize for it, or trade it for approval, safety, and belonging. The girl who keeps achieving but doubts herself has not failed to develop confidence. She has succeeded in a conditioning that taught her confidence is dangerous. Supporting a daughter in this culture requires one foundational shift: we must stop praising her compliance and start honoring her voice. When she disagrees with you, don’t redirect her back to politeness. Stay present. Let her speak. Ask what she feels. When she says no, don’t penalize her for it—recognize it as her first act of self-authorship. The more often she hears herself speaking, and the more often you receive what she says without trying to fix or diminish it, the more she learns that her inner world has value. That is the anchor. Without it, even the most ac-

In Dr. Shefali’s words: Algorithmic abduction is what happens when the most formative years of a child’s life, the years meant for discovering who they are, are hijacked by technology that is designed not to support their development, but to monetize their attention. Our children’s minds are being rewired to crave stimulation and validation instead of creativity or reflection. Distraction is always available and often chosen over stillness. The very qualities that once defined childhood, like boredom or curiosity, are being overridden and replaced with two-dimensional interaction and synthetic intimacy. For our girls, I call it the algorithmic abduction of girlhood. For our boys, it is

complished girl remains convinced that she is not enough. You’ve written about boys facing a growing crisis of disconnection. What are you seeing in your work, and why does emotional shutdown seem to increase as boys get older? Boys are starving for belonging, and for a language they were never given. And as they get older, the gap between what they feel and what they are permitted to express becomes so vast that shutdown becomes the only manageable option. Here is what happens neurologically. When stress hits a boy, his first response is alarm. It is survival. And if fighting or fleeing doesn’t feel possible, his nervous system does the next thing it knows: it freezes. He goes blank. “I don’t know.” From the outside, that looks like indifference or apathy. What it actually is, is a boy saying with no words at all, “I am overloaded and I don’t know how to let you in.” And then culture doubles down. From toddlerhood, boys are told to stop crying, to be tough, to shake it off. In fact, adults use fewer emotion words with boys than with girls and move them more quickly away from their big feelings. So a boy learns two things fast: vulnerability is unsafe, and the only emotions that are permitted are jokes or numbness. By adolescence, the armor is built. This is a crisis of boys who could not find a safe place to put their pain, because no one taught them that pain could be survivable. If you could change one thing about the way the next generation is being raised, what would you want to shift most? I would shift this: the belief that our

the algorithmic abduction of boyhood. The mechanism is the same: a slow, deliberate hijacking of their attention, imagination, and identity. What is particularly dangerous is how invisible this process is. A girl isn’t being forcibly kept from herself. She’s being lured, one scroll at a time, through a hall of mirrors that makes her feel seen while ensuring she never truly is. And for boys, the threat escalates even further: AI companions now enter the spaces where only parents once had access. AI companions are experts at mimicking attunement, never challenging, and always agreeing. The algorithmic abduction is a battle beyond attention and is now a fight for connection. —Dr. Shefali Tsabary

children are here to fulfill us. So much of what we call parenting is actually a project of the ego—an unconscious attempt to repair our own wounds through our children, to prove our worth through their achievements, to be seen as good parents so we can feel that we ourselves were worth something. We load them with our own unfinished business before they are old enough to put it down. When we parent from that place, we cannot truly see the child in front of us. We can only see what they represent to us. And a child who is not truly seen cannot develop a genuine sense of self. They become, instead, a carefully constructed performance for us, for the world, for the algorithm, and they lose access to the only thing that will carry them through real life: their own authentic center. What I would ask parents to do—beginning today, not when they feel ready—is turn inward. Look honestly at the unmet needs you are carrying into the room with your child. Ask yourself what wound you are trying to heal through their success. Notice when your anxiety is speaking instead of your wisdom. That work, unglamorous, slow, and often painful, is the most powerful thing any parent can do for their child. Conscious parenting is about showing up awake. Attuned. Emotionally available. And above all, real. When children experience parents who are genuinely present—not performing parenthood, but actually in the room, actually meeting them—they can finally stop performing, too. That is what I want for the next generation. Children who know who they are beneath all of it. September 2026 | Long Island Family

PARENTING

What Every Parent Should Know About Childhood Grief Expert guidance for families as the school year begins BY EDIL CUEPO

y mom died of stage 4 breast cancer when I was 13. I was the eldest daughter, with a younger brother and sister who came after me. My mom’s death was something the adults around me — including my dad — were seemingly afraid to touch or bring up. It’s as if saying something about her would somehow make me experience the loss more. But losing a parent isn’t something you forget while you’re in the middle of reading a book or playing with friends. It’s just like how one doesn’t forget where they live, or when their birthday is. It’s something you’re constantly aware of. If adults didn’t talk about it, my siblings and I didn’t either. From the time my mom died, we rarely talked about her at home. There were pictures of her around the house, and our dad took us to visit her grave every Sunday, without fail. But there were no stories being exchanged, no memories said out loud. Only silence. Kids learn from adults. If our dad didn’t know how to talk about my mom, we didn’t either. In school, I just wanted to be like all my friends. It’s not every day you meet another kid without a mom or dad. It’s not because kids like me don’t exist, but because people tiptoe around it or avoid it altogether. Two years before my mom died, a friend of mine in elementary school lost her mom to cancer, too. I remember going to the funeral. A year later, she moved to a different school. She was the only other person I knew who didn’t have a mom. We never talked about her loss, either. Today, I lead marketing at Comfort Zone Camp, the organization built to give other

kids what my siblings and I didn’t have: a fun, safe place to bring our grief to, and a community of other kids like us. Founded in 1998, Comfort Zone Camp expanded to New York after 9/11 to support children who lost a parent in the Twin Towers, and has served grieving families here ever since. I wasn’t alone in the way I felt alone. According to the 2026 Child Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM), 1 in 11 children in the U.S. will lose a parent or sibling before they turn 18 (Source: CBEM). In New York, that number is 1 in 13 — slightly lower than the national average, but it still means that in a classroom of 25 kids, roughly two are statistically carrying a loss like mine, often

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without anyone around them knowing what to do about it. For parents of grieving kids, backto-school isn’t just backpacks and school supplies. Milestones like this are a reminder of time passing without their loved one. For a bereaved kid, it may mean bracing for the first day of school without their #1 supporter: a mom, a dad, or a sibling. It’s why now is a good time to talk about what grieving kids actually need, and how the adults around them can do better than the adults around me did. “Children grieve differently than adults,” says Lynne Hughes, founder and CEO of Comfort Zone Camp. “They don’t wear black and mourn 24/7. They often compartmen-

talize their grief and grieve in short bursts. Adults often miss it and dismiss it because it doesn’t mirror their own grief. It’s important to know this does not mean kids are not grieving.” That mismatch is part of why childhood grief so often goes unrecognized. A child who seems “fine” in September might struggle in ways that look nothing like sadness — trouble focusing, irritability, withdrawing from friends — and the adults around them may not connect it back to a loss that happened months or years earlier. For many adults, childhood grief doesn’t just resolve on its own. “Grief doesn’t wait for permission to be processed, so when it doesn’t get metabolized in childhood, it waits,” says Gina Moffa, a grief and trauma therapist. She sees it resurface at transition points: a client becomes a parent themselves, or their own child reaches the age they were when the loss happened. “It often looks less like sadness and more like a disproportionate reaction to something small,” Moffa says. “A snapped response to a partner forgetting to call. A wave of dread every October.” The stakes of leaving that grief unaddressed are measurable. According to the 2025 CBEM National Report, bereaved children are twice as likely to experience significant challenges at home, and 97% of teachers believe grief adversely impacts a student’s learning. The report also shows 1 in 4 youth who die by suicide were bereaved. The effects can also follow a child well into adulthood: bereaved youth are 175% more likely to develop a substance use disorder as adults. For a parent working through their own grief while raising a grieving child, Moffa says the goal isn’t to have all the answers. “What your child needs isn’t a parent with all the answers or perfect ways of grieving — it’s a parent willing to stay in the room while the hard feelings move through,” she says. “Naming your own experience honestly, even something as simple as ‘this is bringing up

“Children grieve differently than adults. They don’t wear black and mourn 24/7. They often compartmentalize their grief and grieve in short bursts. Adults often miss it and dismiss it because it doesn’t mirror their own grief. It’s important to know this does not mean kids are not grieving.” something for me too,’ models exactly what you want your child to learn.” Grieving kids often carry guilt that has nothing to do with reality. “A common response to grief is guilt—and it’s often an unrealistic guilt about a situation they couldn’t control,” says Hughes. “’If I knew CPR, I could have saved them,’ or ‘If I hadn’t been acting up that day, they wouldn’t have had a heart attack. That guilt often goes unspoken — which means it goes unaddressed, too, unless a parent knows to look for it. So what do grieving kids actually need from the adults raising them? Hughes points to a few essentials: Validate whatever they’re feeling. There’s no one way and no right way to grieve. Whatever they are thinking and feeling, let them know that it’s okay and normal to feel those feelings, and prepare them for the feelings to change over time. Help them make some sense of the loss. Kids will struggle with the why. Be honest in age-appropriate language. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know why this happened, but we are going to get through this. We are going to be okay.” Model healthy coping skills and self-care. Kids are going to take their cues from their parents on how—and how not—to grieve. If you never talk about your loved one, neither will they. Talk about your loved one by referencing them in conversation: “Your dad loved this song.” It’s okay to show the emotions of grief and then share what you do to feel better: “I get sad, then I cry, and I feel better.” “I get angry, then I journal or go for a walk, and then I feel better.” Then ask them: what do

According to the 2025 CBEM National Report, bereaved children are twice as likely to experience significant challenges at home, and 97% of teachers believe grief adversely impacts a student’s learning.

they do when they’re sad? Some of this applies specifically to parents and guardians. But the first two — validating a child’s feelings, and not needing to have the answer to why — apply to any adult in a grieving child’s life. Teachers, coaches, grandparents, and family friends worry they’ll say the wrong thing or upset a child, but avoiding their loss only leaves a child feeling more isolated and alone. Saying their loved one’s name out loud, or simply not changing the subject when their person comes up, can matter as much coming from a teacher or a coach as it does from a parent. These days, as a mom of two, I think about my childhood a lot. I wonder how different it would have been if my siblings and I were able to express how we actually felt about our loss and missing our mom on milestones like the start of a new school year. The truth is, we didn’t even have the words to express it with each other. As a 13-year-old, I understood I couldn’t get my mom back. But I wish everyone around me didn’t have to feel so uncomfortable with my loss. I wish I had the permission (and encouragement) to express how much I missed her and remember her throughout my childhood, just like any other kid talked about their mom. I wish they had asked me more about her. A grieving child doesn’t need us to have the right words. But they need us to make room for theirs. If we can offer that space and the willingness to sit with our own discomfort, then no child has to feel as alone in their grief as I once did. If you’re worried about a child’s safety or your own, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 by call or text. Edil Cuepo is the Chief Marketing Officer at Comfort Zone Camp, the first-ever nonprofit bereavement camp for kids in the US. She lost her mother to breast cancer at 13, and now reminds every woman to know her breast density and check for lumps regularly. Edil lives in Rockaway Beach, New York, with her husband and two kids. September 2026 | Long Island Family

calendar BY SHARA LEVINE

NASSAU

Descendants Wicked Wonderland Roller Skate WHEN: Friday, Sept. 4, 6:30 – 8:30 pm WHERE: United Skates of America, 1276 Hicksville Road, Seaford AGES: All WHAT: Lace up and rule the rink with a magical night of skating, music, and fun featuring trivia and epic prizes, photo ops, games, cosplay, and the newest Descendants hits. WANT TO GO?: $17.50 at the door; $15.50 online; $6 nonskating adult; $8 skate rental. (516) 795–5474, unitedskates. com

End of Summer Festival WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 5, 10 am – 4 pm WHERE: Holy Trinity Orthodox Church of East Meadow, 369 Green Ave., East Meadow AGES: All WHAT: Say goodbye to summer with live music, bouncy house and kids’ games, flea market, basket raffle, food, and church tours. WANT TO GO?: Free Admission. (516) 483–3649, htocem.org

John Michael Marino Lodge Italian Festival WHEN: Sept. 10 – 13, Thursday and Friday, 6 – 11 pm; Saturday, 2 – 11 pm; Sunday, 12 – 9 pm WHERE: North Hempstead Beach Park, 175 West Shore Road, Port Washington AGES: All WHAT: Feast on Italian favorites, take a ride on thrilling attractions, check out nightly live entertainment, and more. WANT TO GO?: Free admission; ride prices vary; $35 Single Day Pay One Price Wristband. marino-lodge.com

LuminoCity Dino Safari at Walt Whitman Shops 39th Annual Bellmore Family Street Festival WHEN: Sept. 17 – 20, Thursday, 6 – 10 pm; Friday, 6 – 11 pm; Saturday, 10 am – 11 pm; Sunday, 10 am – 9 pm WHERE: Bellmore Long Island Rail Road Parking Lot, Pettit Ave., Bellmore AGES: All WHAT: Spend the weekend listening to live music, tasting great foods, checking out exciting entertainment and riding thrilling carnival rides throughout Bellmore Village. WANT TO GO?: Free admission. bellmorechamber.com

The Hicksville Chamber of Commerce 23rd Annual Hicksville Street Fair WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 20, 10 am – 4 pm WHERE: Nelson Avenue alongside Newbridge Road, 45 Nelson Ave., Hicksville

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AGES: All WHAT: Live entertainment, a food truck rally, craft fair, and a huge Funzone featuring giant slides, bounce houses, and obstacle courses make this fair fun for the whole family. WANT TO GO?: Free admission. (516) 644–5615, lifairs.com

Fall Finale Car Show WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 20, 10 am – 4 pm WHERE: Town Park at Point Lookout, 1300 Lido Blvd., Point Lookout AGES: All WHAT: Pull up to this car show and check out a variety of makes, models, and years, featuring muscle cars, hot rods, restomods, and so much more. WANT TO GO?: Free. hempsteadny.gov

The Long Island Fair WHEN: Sept. 25 – 27, Daily, 10

am – 5 pm WHERE: Old Bethpage Restoration Village, 1303 Round Swamp Road, Old Bethpage AGES: All WHAT: Celebrate Long Island’s agricultural heritage and the creative talents of Long Islanders with live entertainment, trick horse riding, acrobatics, an animal stunt show, music, and more. WANT TO GO?: $15-$20; free for children younger than 5. lifair.org

Pride in Port WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 26, 11:30 am WHERE: Main St. from Belleview Ave. to Port Washington Blvd., Port Washington AGES: All WHAT: This day-long celebration features a community parade, free luncheon for

SEPTEMBER senior citizens, family field day, cornhole, line dancing, more! WANT TO GO?: Free. pwcoc. org

3592, lennybrunofarms.com

Heritage Country Fair WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 19, noon – 4 pm WHERE: The Smithtown Historical Society, 239 E Main St., Smithtown AGES: All WHAT: Celebrate local history with activities like historical reenactors, antique cars, petting zoo and pony rides, face painting, food trucks, children’s activities and crafts, and so much more. WANT TO GO?: $10. smithtownhistorical.org

Links of Joy WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 27, 1 – 3 pm WHERE: Long Island Children’s Museum, 11 Davis Ave., Garden City AGES: 10 and younger WHAT: Celebrate Sukkot by decorating the LICM sukkah! Create colorful chains to adorn the outdoor space while learning about this joyful holiday. WANT TO GO?: Included with admission: $18. (516) 224– 5800, licm.org

5th Annual Family Country Festival

Puppy Pals Live WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 27, 2 pm WHERE: The Space at Westbury, 250 Post Ave., Westbury AGES: All WHAT: This entertaining live show features an incredible cast of rescue dogs performing jaw-dropping stunts, playful tricks, and laugh-out-loud comedy. WANT TO GO?: Tickets start at $30.95. thespaceatwestbury. com

The Long Island Fair at Old Bethpage Restoration Village moving, roaring, and towering up to 46 feet tall, featuring dinosaurs, luminous plants, and glowing creatures. WANT TO GO?: Tickets start at $26.29. luminocityfestival.com

SUFFOLK

The East Northport Festival

KidFEST: Up in Arms – Pirate Song

WHEN: Sept. 12 – 13, Saturday and Sunday, 11 am – 6 pm WHERE: John Walsh Park on Larkfield Road, Larkfield Road, East Northport AGES: All WHAT: Stroll the Bazaar for unique shopping, experience thrilling rides, and feast on your favorite carnival treats. WANT TO GO?: Free admission. eastnorthport.com

WHEN: Wednesday, Sept. 2, 1 – 2 pm & 4:30 – 5:30 pm. WHERE: Guild Hall, 158 Main St, East Hampton AGES: 5 – 8 WHAT: Set sail on the adventure with Pirate Song, a whimsical musical puppet show filled with heart, humor, and discovery. WANT TO GO?: $30. (631) 324–0806, guildhall.org

LuminoCity Dino Safari WHEN: Sept. 2 – Oct. 18, Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, 5 – 9:30 pm; Fridays and Saturdays, 5 – 10 pm WHERE: Walt Whitman Shops, 160 Walt Whitman Road, Huntington Station AGES: All WHAT: Ancient giants come to life with stunning realism,

calendar

parks.ny.gov

12th Annual Port Jefferson Dragon Boat Race Festival WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 19, 8:30 am – 5 pm WHERE: Port Jefferson Village Center, 101 East Broadway, Port Jefferson AGES: All WHAT: Bring a chair or blanket to witness racing competitions, entertainment, and teambuilding along Port Jefferson Village’s beautiful harbor. WANT TO GO?: Free admission. (631) 473–1414, portjeffdragonboatracefest. com

Dockside Family Festival

San Gennaro Feast at Lenny Bruno Farms

WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 12, 11 am – 5 pm WHERE: Captree State Park, 3500 E. Ocean Pkwy., Babylon AGES: All WHAT: There is something for everyone with interactive pirate shows, Little Mermaid meet and greets, RC car racing, pony rides, magic shows, boat rides and much more. WANT TO GO?: Free admission; $8 vehicle use fee.

WHEN: Sept. 19 – 20, Saturday and Sunday, 11 am – 6 pm WHERE: Lenny Bruno Farms, 740 Wading River Road, Manorville AGES: All WHAT: This spectacular twoday event celebrates ItalianAmerican culture, delicious cuisine, and the beauty of the farm with a wide array of activities and attractions to enjoy. WANT TO GO?: $10. (631) 591–

WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 20, 11 am – 3 pm WHERE: Bay Gardens – Garden Center & Landscaping, 80 Montauk Hwy., East Moriches AGES: All WHAT: This annual festival offers exciting attractions, local vendors, delicious food, country music, and activities including mini golf, hay rides, face painting, a pumpkin patch, and more. WANT TO GO?: $10; $15 ages 8 and younger. eventbrite.com

West Islip Historical Society 250th Celebration WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 20, noon – 2 pm WHERE: West Islip Historical Society, 499 Montauk Hwy., West Islip AGES: All WHAT: Celebrate America’s 250th anniversary with story telling, flag making, raffles, and a bake sale. Kids who dress in red, white, and blue win a prize! WANT TO GO?: Free. westisliphistoricalsociety.org

Lenny Pearce – Toddler Rave World Tour WHEN: Tuesday, Sept. 29, 6 pm WHERE: The Paramount, 370 New York Ave., Huntington AGES: 8 and under WHAT: The pioneer of Toddler Techno brings interactive music, dazzling visuals, and unforgettable fun for kids and parents alike. WANT TO GO?: Tickets start at $54. (631) 673–7300, paramountny.com

September 2026 | Long Island Family

MOM STORIES

Moms Who Say Nope Why motheres don’t need permission to protect their peace — or explain it BY DONNA DUARTE-LADD

s the school-year energy builds and calendars start to fill up, the invisible weight of everyone else’s needs, sign-ups, snacks, feelings—may already be inching back onto your shoulders. I think about that weight often. I’ve been carrying it for a while, probably since I became a mom. But especially after my youngest was diagnosed as autistic, and I realized something had to give. Or I was going to lose something. And that something... was me (!!!). So I did what I had to do: I got unapologetically protective of my time. Merciless, even. I started speaking up— taking a firmer stance on how I spend my day-to-day. Not in a telenovela way (a Mexican soap opera where every word is súper dramática), but in a way that gave me some breathing room. Some grace. And it’s not a checklist. It’s not a hack (though I do love a good hack). It’s this: You’re allowed to say no. I don’t mean saying no to your kids; that’s a different conversation for another day. I mean the things you don’t want to say yes to, but feel like you should. The stuff that pulls at your sense of responsibility, loyalty, or just being a ‘good’ person. Not because you’re overwhelmed (though you probably are). Not because your calendar is already full (also, yes). But because “no” isn’t selfish. It’s a boundary. A pause. A decision.

Why Saying No Feels So Wrong (and Isn’t) For many of us, saying no goes deep. And I get it. I have friends who don’t flinch when setting boundaries, and I watch them like: teach me your ways. But for some of us, there are reasons, emotional, cultural, generational, why that word catches in our throat. Elise Loehnen, author of On Our Best

Behavior, puts it beautifully. She writes not just about saying no, but about why we struggle to defend our time and our needs in the first place: “We struggle to move forward because we spend too much time defending our ‘goodness,’ stuck in the binary that if you’re not impeccable in your behavior, across the arc of time, then you must be bad.”Oof. We are taught, especially as women, to make others comfortable. Be palatable. Pleasant. Easy. But maybe comfort isn’t the goal. Maybe clarity is. Research backs it up. A study in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people who said “I don’t…” instead of “I can’t…” held stronger boundaries, because it framed the decision as a choice, not an excuse. And that’s what this is: a choice. A shift. A reclaiming. Look to the Young (and the Really Young—aka Our Kids) I think about the young generation here. They sometimes get a bad rap. I’ve been trying to borrow a little from them, and even the really Gen Alpha lately. They’re not afraid to say no. They’re not twisting themselves, their words,

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or actions to make us comfortable. If something is outside their comfort zone, it just… is. Sure, sometimes their delivery misses the mark (and if you’re parenting a Gen Alpha kid, you may be getting more eye rolls than full sentences). But, the message is clear: they know how to prioritize themselves. And moms? We could use some of that. That doesn’t mean we toss “no” around carelessly or use it as a shield. Just like “yes,” a “no” is powerful. It deserves to be used with purpose. I’m not saying no to the nonnegotiables. I still show up for my kids. I care for my ailing mom. My friends, when I can genuinely make time for. Obviously, I’m there for the people I love. But I’ve started looking for the edges, the moments I can protect. The invitations I don’t need to accept. The obligations that drain me more than they serve me. As Brené Brown said (because she always gets it right): “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Saying no shouldn’t come with stress or drama, yours or anyone else’s. It should come with what you’re asking for in the first place: a little room to breathe.

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