Our (mostly) 2011-themed game of
SNAKES & LADDERS! By Hugleikur Dagsson & Lóa Hjálmtýsdóttir
Snakes: 98 Don’t be a priest… 78 That leads to perversion. A number of sexual abuse cases within the national church surfaced this year, leading many to call for the Bishop’s resignation due to his poor handling of these cases.
95 Don’t be a dictator… 75 That leads to a knife in the rectum. The world bid farewell to five dictators this year: Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi was murdered by his people, North Korea’s Kim Jong-il died of a heart attack, Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak and Yemen’s Ali Abdullah Saleh resigned, and Tunisia’s Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali fled amidst protest.
93 Don’t count on the end of the world… 73 Monday will happen no matter what. Harold Camping predicted that the world would end on October 21. It didn’t.
87 Don’t be a misogynistic narcissistic douchebag… 24 Sooner or later you’ll get a rape charge. Fitness trainer Egill ‘Gillz’ Einarsson—who graces Iceland’s phonebook and has a TV show about manners—was charged with rape at the end of November. The investigation is pending.
64 Don’t smoke “the dope”… 60 That leads to bad poetry. Unless you’re Allen Ginsberg, or another brilliant, dope-smoking poet.
62 Don’t worry your pretty little head about IceSave… 19 IceSave will always be there. Always. Just when we thought the never-ending IceSave saga was over, EFTA decided on December 15 to take Iceland to court for failing to pay the Brits and Dutch for three years.
56 Don’t risk your life planking… 53 Because if you die in the process, you deserve it. The act of 'planking' reached its peak in 2011. Remember planking? Neither do we.
49 Don’t try to make it as a girlie band in America… 11 You’ll turn into superfreaky slutbots. The Charlies, formerly Nylon, moved to Los Angeles to make it big. They’ve been releasing some interesting videos...
47 If you’re gonna make an Icelandic film… 26 Don’t expect people to show up in the cinema. Damn philistines. Bummer…
16 Don’t get your hopes up for that polar bear zoo just yet… 6 Icelanders still haven’t quenched their blood thirst. In May, the fourth polar bear in three years swam ashore to Iceland. Much like its predecessors, the bear was promptly shot and killed.
Ladders: 1 Greek economy collapses, threatening to take all of Europe with it… 38 Which is nice, since the focus isn’t on us anymore! Who's laughing now, Europe?
4 Move to Norway… 14 They have free jobs, ice cream and unicorn rides! In the first six months of 2011, 700 Icelanders moved to Norway. In 2009 and 2010, they were 3.000.
9 Shit on other people’s art… 31 Because that’s how you make real art! In May, controversy erupted over an art exhibition, 'Koddu', containinga piece called 'The World's Most Beautiful Book'.
21 Game of Thrones filming in Iceland? You know what that means… 42 Nerdgasm! The show's crew was in Iceland this November filming scenes for a bunch for the Game of Thrones series. They hired a bunch of local extras.
28 Be kind to old people… 84 They have sweets! This is hardly news!
36 Gay Pride is fun for everyone… 44 Except for straight middle aged men in suits. Fuck’em! This August, Iceland put on its thirteenth annual Gay Pride festival attended by tens of thousands of people from all over the world.
51 Remember, if you don’t charge for your concerts… 67 You will be king! On December 22, Mugison—Iceland's biggest selling musical artist of 2011—held three free fantastic concerts at Harpa, which became the talk of the town.
71 Icelandic public television, like, totally sucks… 91 So why not spend your day outside in this glorious weather we’re having (twice a year or so)! The króna is still pretty weak, which makes buying halfway decent shows and movies an expensive endeavour.
80 Who cares if we’re destroying our planet… 100 We can always move to Kepler-22b! NASA discovered an extrasolar planet dubbed Kepler-22b. They think it might be a Super-Earth.