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INSTA: @themediumRU
Oct. 3rd, 2018
Volume LVI Issue IIII 50¢ A WHOLE DIFFERENT KIND OF PREDATOR
KAVANAUGH CLAIMS HE WAS PROWLING AS WEREWOLF ON NIGHT OF ASSAULT THROBIN WILLIAMS TRAPPED IN A BOTTLE
WASHINNGTON D.C. – Brett Kavanaugh has come forward once more to defend himself amidst accusations of sexual assault; and this time he's dropping a bombshell. "I was not ready to admit this to the world, but I have no choice. On the night Dr. Ford claims I assaulted her, I was busy prowling under the full moon as a werewolf." These new claims come just days after Kavanaugh was questioned by the Senate Judiciary Committee. According to the Supreme Court nominee, he could not have assaulted Christine Blasey Ford because that night was a full moon, and when the moon is full Kavanaugh transforms into a predator of the supernatural variety.
SO SPOOKY AND TOTALLY LEGITIMATE! An alibi this solid can't be refuted!
"Ever since I was a boy I have transformed into an unholy beast with an insatiable bloodlust that I try to fulfil until the wee hours of the morn," Kavanaugh went on to say. Supporters of the alleged mythical beast and sexual
predator think that this most recent alibi is the most solid one they've seen yet. Senator Lindsey Graham went on to defend Kavanaugh in a series of tweets claiming that Dr. Blasey Ford is in fact a werewolf slayer hired by the Democrats. Continued on Page 2
SMIZE ON PRIZE
WEAK SMIZING COULD BE HOLDING BACK FEMALE HEALTH PROFESSIONALS THOT JOPLIN THE ENTERTAINER
PISCATAWAY— Consider this pay gap solved! In a paper published by the American Journal of Psychology last week, researchers reported they had uncovered a key reason behind the discrimination women often face when entering certain fields of medicine, specifically surgery. While women are wellrepresented among hospital workers as a whole, over 60% of medical school residents specializing in surgery are men, and orthopaedic surgery especially has remained a boy’s club for as long as anyone can remember. Meanwhile, specialty
WORK IT GIRL! That smokey eye screams professional healthcare.
surgeons are some of the bestpaid doctors in the business, regularly making up to twice as much yearly as the average pediatrician. Female medical
students have been wondering for decades why they’re just not as good at becoming surgeons. This new study may have the Continued on Page 2
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