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*PUBLISHED WEEKLY
February 22nd, 2023
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New Cut of Avengers: Endgame Will Delete Nearly BY LEXA PREAUX All Scenes HOARDING PROVISIONS Rising egg prices in the of Hawkeye past few months have left many Americans frustrated, confused, Operating His and most of all, hungry. In 2022 Snowplow alone, egg prices jumped 60%, and as we approach spring 2023, this Man Acts trend doesn’t show any sign of slowing down. Word of a possible Normal, Isn't collusive scheme prompted the Rejected USDA to open an investigation on egg suppliers, but there was (EMOTIONAL) still no clear answer given for the egg crisis until a whistleblower Next Week: spoke out against one completely egg industry, all while entirely increase prices significantly. Star is inconspicuous, unlikely egg farmer. under the radar. Star has allegedly said to be taking large percentages The Medium To Beauty and lifestyle been collecting blackmail on of sales, but Westbrook wouldn’t Interview Lil Nas X influencer, Tati Westbrook, shed prominent egg farmers and comment on any specifics of the distributors in order to force them blackmail that’s allowed this. light on the economics of eggs This Is when she revealed that fellow out of the industry entirely. While Instead she shared, “I reconnected beauty influencer, Jeffree Star, has Star has been mass producing eggs with my friend because I was Biden's been up to more than slaughtering under the guise of his Wyoming fascinated with his yaks, come to America yaks on Star Yak Ranch. Westbrook yak ranch, he’s been able to take find that all of these egg farmers he’s uncovered an intricate monopoly hold of the demand for eggs and talking about are so inappropriate. Selena Gomez that Star has wrapped around the work with reluctant distributors to Continued on Page 2 to Join The WE WILL AVENGE OUR MYSTICAL BROTHERS Medium as ONGOING WIZARD WAR, NAVY'S CONTROVERSIAL Wizard in Chief When In Doubt, INVOLVEMENT IN ONCE-DOMESTIC ISSUE Just Type Out Random BS For BY BARN ANIMAL AT SEA (WITH A SEA COW) A Quickie For months, the United States Oh God I government has been cracking down on the invasive and growing Missed The numbers of the randomlyTap Dancing spawning, unemployed, and non-taxable wizard population. Sesh At Brower Initiatives started to involve the Army National Guard, ordering Oh Fuck them to exterminate wizards spread their influence. to arrest or subdue them on sight. Water in East found on domestic soil. However, Beaches and coastlines have 100 have died at sea so far. they do not stop spawning, with wizards now living in the dunes. The Navy is taking initiatives as their flowing beards and cloaks, They fish with telekinesis and well. Within the past few weeks, the Palestine sometimes holding large staffs wands, and are able to surf without Navy has raised the maximum age "Best Water or wands. Pro-wizard-protection boards by peacefully flying around for its recruits to try increasing its groups, mostly made up of pacifists, over the water. They dig runes into reserves. More sailors are needed at on the Planet", have started publicly dressing up the sand for casting spells, and sea, for they have announced a new as wizards, hoping to confuse law have started involving saltwater in class of ships to commission in 2024: According To enforcement and overwhelm their many of their potions. AWCs (Anti-Wizard Cruisers). Governor of monitors. The U.S. Coast Guard has authority Continued on Page 2 Consequently, wizards have Ohio
WHISTLEBLOWER REVEALS JEFFREE STAR’S MONOPOLY ON EGGS
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