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*PUBLISHED WEEKLY
October 12th, 2022
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FAMOUS MANGA AUTHOR EIICHIRO ODA WEIGHS IN ON THE MIDDLE EAST BY DAN D. FLASH VACATIONING IN JERUSALEM
The Israeli embassy in Japan has been scrambling to get their bearings after Eiichiro Oda, one of Japan’s most famous contemporary authors and creator of the manga “One Piece”, released his controversial thoughts regarding the Israeli - Palestinian Conflict. Japan has openly supported a two state solution between Israel and Palestine for over a decade. Indeed, much of the world supports a twostate solution. This is why it came as such a shock when Oda publicly declared, “The One Piece! The One Piece Israel!” The comments have sent ripples through the global political sphere. As the most prolific author in history, Oda’s words have enormous reach. His stories have previously spoken about the importance of being yourself, supporting those who
care about you, and fighting for what’s right. Using his platform for any kind of political statement is unprecedented. Perhaps, however, they are not unexpected. “Oda’s support for Israel has been there from the start, you just weren’t smart enough to see it,” claimed former Prime Minister of Israel and known weeb Benjamin Netanyahu while pushing up his
glasses by the bridge. “Think about it. Zoro carries 3 equally sized swords, which can be arranged to form an equilateral triangle. Thanks to Jinbe joining the crew in issue 976, there are 10 members of the Straw Hat crew, which is a multiple of two. Because of that, we can multiply this triangle by two. The symbol of Israel is a 6 pointed Continued on Page 2
WAIT? WE HAD GUIDELINES?
THE MEDIUM NO LONGER BREAKING STUDENT ORGANIZATION GENERAL GUIDELINES BY IDONTKNOW STUCK IN AN LX FOR ETERNITY
The Medium staff recently fixed a major error in the publication that risked the cancellation of the paper. Committed by an unpaid intern who was only hired because they were “yummy to look at” the false notice on the bottom of the second page, claiming that the publication is “a satirical publication and should never be taken seriously”, was finally removed. Since the Student Organization General Guidelines states that a student organization is not permitted to be “Engaging in false or deceptive promotions or advertising concerning a group or its activities. This includes both direct deception (e.g., claiming that
a group is something that it is not), and deception by omission (e.g., failing to disclose that a campus religious group is affiliated with a particular religious organization).” The Medium’s prior claim to be a satirical publication would have been “direct deception” and punishable by being confined to an
LX bus for 30 days, as is customary for any similar infraction at Rutgers. Since all issues of The Medium this year have had the erroneous message each Medium staff would have had at least ten lashings per person. Head staff writer Opal Continued on Page 2
Using This As Tissue Paper Since 1970
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