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INSTA: @themediumRU
september 20th, 2017
Volume LIV Issue II 50¢ RU SHKREW
MARTIN SHKRELI BECOMES NEW HEAD OF FINANCIAL AID OFFICE MIKE HAWK PELVIS SAFETY OFFICER
NEW BRUNSWICK— M o s t students who attend Rutgers University New Brunswick should have noticed that their term bill was slightly larger this semester than it has been in the previous terms. This is just the most recent of price hikes in the cost of attending Rutgers that have been happening steadily over the past few years. This is all due to a quiet but not hidden change of administration within Rutgers financial services. Martin Shkreli, former head of Turing Pharmaceuticals. Some of you may remember Martin from his latest scandal which involved hiking the price of a lifesaving drug for individuals with HIV/AIDS from $13.50 per pill to $750. It was at this exact moment that
WELCOME HOME Martin Shkreli accepting his position at Rutgers University
Rutgers knew they had to get him on the team. Anyone who could screw over individuals who didn’t really deserve it that hard, could really put some sting behind that whole RU screw our administration is so proud of. Shkreli laid out a very
detailed 20 year plan for dealing with Rutgers tuition and how we handle our other financial services. A very keystone feature of this plan included forcing students to obtain a ‘cupanion’
QUICKIES
Rutgers Hosting Tryouts For Dean Of Rutgers Pat Hobbs Does a Kegstand After Our first Victory Kevin Jonas went To Rutgers
Brothers at Skullhouse Find new Continued on Page 2 Found love BACKPACK BACKPACK For LandT h e B a g s e t t e r : P r o f i l e o f a Scaping M a n W h o K e e p s t h e W o r l d a Business School B a c k p a c k ’ s L e n g t h A w a y To start freshman at Rutgers University, The first has taken a stance against the overly personal culture we live Ever antiin and places his backpack on the seat adjacent to him, preventing Stabbing students from ever getting close to him. “It’s a protest of Emergency sorts,” David said as he pulled up the Fight Club soundtrack Drill CAILLOU LOVES CHILDREN
NEW BRUNSWICK — In a world where society is constantly berated with social media posts dripping with sentimentality, ads designed to
stir up deep-seated memories, and people just looking to create a meaningful connection with another human, there is one man who refuses to move his backpack. David Michaels, an 18-year-old
on his iPhone 7. “I just need to go against society’s concepts of ‘kindness’ and ‘decency’ and ‘awareness,’ and create this sort of art out of the frustration of innocent Rutgers students.” And it’s undeniable that David is incredibly skilled at his art form. We got to watch a performance of his, and he was just stellar. When he gets
Olde Queens Turns away Elderly Cross Continued on Page 2 Dressers
SATISFACTORY Since 1970