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Rutgers Entertainment Weekly www.rutgersmedium.com
Volume xli Issue xxi
NEWS QUICKIES
Christie Predicts Transportation Projects will Advance as Broke College Students Become Construction Workers "It's probably the best, speediest school-to-work transition in the country right now," said Christie at a recent press conference
Military Officials Closely Watching where Sheen's Show may Bomb Next "He is likely to retaliate with his explosive temper wherever he senses little resistance," according to one analyst.
Study Shows Link Between Cancer and Reading College Humor Papers Obama Announces 2012 Re-election Campaign Slogan "Let me talk for, like five minutes. C'mon guys."
TODAY'S WEATHER WEDNESDAY: OH MY GOD,
CLOUD SHARK! INDEX Funplex..................................pg.1 Bowl of Chex........................pg. 2 Pokedex................................ pg.3 Cool T-Rex......................... RAWR Star Trek(s)...........................pg. 5 Just had sex.........................pg. 6 Creepy Ex..............................pg.7 Remember Gex?..................pg. 8 ...and K'nex?.........................pg. 9
50¢
April 6th, 2011 RU BROKE?
RUPA PLANS LOW-COST ACTIVITIES FOR REMAINDER OF SEMESTER BY COMMANDO UNITED STATES NEWS EDITOR
ACROSS CAMPUS—Following last week's costly appearance from MTV celebrity Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, the Rutgers University Programming Association (RUPA) now faces a gaping budget deficit that left members checking their seat cushions for coins at their last meeting. Recent treasurer estimates place RUPA's current budget at around $7.12. The group has been forced to modify their activity itinerary to realistically reflect their fiscal constraints for the rest of the semester. Though RUPA had originally planned to offer a mix of costintensive activities throughout April, most notably hot dog happy hour, a trip to Broadway, and Rutgersfest, all activities have been tabled for reconsideration. Attention was centered at the last meeting around activities that require little or no equipment and rely heavily on pure imagination.
DO YOU REMEMBER... ...when this was the thing you thought RUPA spent too much money on? RUPA has assured the University that it will continue to heavily cater all events, promising to offer a municipal tap water buffet from various fountains across campus. "Basically think of this as RUPA sustaining itself on Ramen noodles for the rest of the semester," said vice president Josh Bruno. "Not the most ideal
situation, but you do what you have to— shit, that's a great activity idea. Ramen fuckin' noodles night..." RUPA invites all university students to its latest offering this Friday night at the Cook Campus Center, "Make your own S'mores night— no, really, make your own, because we do not have the materials."
SAFETY DANCE!
Dance Ultramarathon enters final days BY TORGO VAN PELT STAFF WRITER
ULTRA COLLEGE AVE—The Barn-Rutgers’ Dance Marathon Contestants ended their 32 hour fundraising event on Sunday night, collecting over $380, 000. However, when most left the College Avenue Gym, a select few continued to dance, attempting to dance an additional 72 hours with a goal of raising three times as many dollars as the original. This event, called Dance Ultramarthon, will end tonight at 6 PM, and is new this year. It was started after a select amount of people were complaining that dance marathons were becoming too easy. “32 hours? No sweat,” pointed out SAS sophomore Lani McMatthews, “I want to see a real challenge, some-
thing that can push me to the limit, something where I could possibly die.” Giving into demands, the DM organizers have started this new event, with only a legal waiver required for signup. Health concerns have been raised by some. “The vast majority of people competing in these events are fratboys and sorority Those lasers are deadly...deadly sexy sisters,” noted Health Services Executive Services Melo- our dance tunes and oldies on dee Lasky, “Their training diets Monday,” said DJ Weeble Wobof vodka and Blitzburgers are ble, “and now at this point we completely incompatible with are forced to use tunes such as endurance workouts. But, it’s the Charleston, and Djiboutian tribal chants.” for the kids, so I approve.” Monetary donations have Another problem that organizers have faced is selecting taken off though, thanks to music for the three day exten- people getting really interested sion. “We have used up most of in this new event. “The prospect
Gee, it's swell!
ESTABLISHED 1970
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