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Rutgers Entertainment Weekly www.rutgersmedium.com
Volume xliI Issue XIX
March 21st, 2012
AND DON'T COME BACK!
ALL THE NEWS REPORTERS FINALLY FUCKING LEAVE NEW BRUNSWICK BY SUM DUM JOO HEAD WRITER
MIDDLESEX COUNTY—After the guilty verdict was released in the Dharun Ravi trial on Friday, members of the news media filmed their final reports, interviewed a few more students on the streets of the various campuses, packed up their news vans, and left the city. And most students at the University couldn't be happier. "It made sense to have all these people around the days after the event, and maybe for one day of the trial," said Mike Roflin, SAS Junior. "But it seemed like every day I could see myself walking around New Brunswick in 'b-roll' footage. Now I know how obese people feel." The media's impact on the behavior of Rutgers has changed the University community drastically. "I used to spend my days wandering campus, running into friends," continued Rothko. "But now, I hide in my dorm room the moment I see anything
WEATHER TODAY: Sunny and cloud free High: 68 Low: 61 Oh man, the weather's awesome, let's make awesome plans to do awesome outside things tomorrow
QUICKIES
Chicago City Council regrets setting all traffic lights to green for St. Patty's Day "For many motorists, it was not a very lucky day," said councilman Charles Gunthman.
NOW YOU SEE IT... The Middlesex County Courthouse without any news vans in front of it, as it should be.
that even remotely looks like a camera." The most festive collection of students are the ones living in the Davidson dorm where the incident occurred over a year ago. "Yes, we live in the same dorm as they did," said Kelly
Martin, resident of the dormitory. "No, we do not want to talk about it to every person with a camera we meet on the street. I just want to go to class without fear of being harassed." "I totally get this 'invasion of privacy' that they have been Continued on Page 2
IRS participates in March Madness with Income Tax Brackets It's just like the NCAA tournament," said tax analyst John Straus. "A lot of people participate, but only a few will come out winners!"
Girl disappointed she NEWS IN PHOTOS McCormick enjoys last Rutgers only got to sleep with one spring break at SoCal beach random dude over break "I have to really perfect the way I blindly throw myself at guys," said sophomore Chealsea Dunbach.
TOMORROW: Cloudy and sun free High: 51 Low: 39 Oh God dammit, I fuckin took off work, every forecast said it would be great today, fuck March
50¢
Candidates' positions on sex differ It was to no one's surprise when Rick Santorum revealed that he Richard McCormick says that he has always been a fan of Baywatch be- prefers missionary, while Ron cause his swimsuit body bears an uncanny resemblance to David Hasslehoff. Paul said he likes to come up from behind.
This is a pickup line ESTABLISHED 1970