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INSTA: @themediumRU
october 25th, 2017
Volume LIV Issue VII 50¢ SWEATER WEATHER
QUICKIES
little bill: i never want to g r o w u p to b e l i k e harvey weinstein SUE DENIMm An editor has no name
EW BRUNSWICK— Allegations N against Harvey Weinstein have been snowballing, as more and more people have been accusing the Academy Award-winning producer of sexual assault. Even more devastating is the impact this has had on Hollywood’s younger, more impressionable members, who have looked up to Weinstein as a role model. Hit especially hard is the star of the popular children’s television series “Little Bill,” Little Bill. “It’s real hard when the adults you think are so cool turn out to be big jerks. I looked up to Mr. Weinstein ‘cuz I thought he TOUCHY SUBJECT made real good movies. I hope The stars of the famous Nickelodeon I never grow up to be a person show just horsin' around
Rutgers Parking Services Has Fucked Me For The Last Time that hurts poor innocent girls Jehovah's like that,” said Little Bill. The popular television Witness show has been off the air since 2004, but the rambunctious Protection little cartoon boy won’t hesitate Program to share his thoughts on the world. “I just love being happy Man Upset and spreading love to everyone! I love puppies, drawing, and With Plum people that don’t turn out to be Choice rampant sexual offenders!” Since the allegations, Weinstein has been fired from the Weinstein Company and been denounced by every known member of Hollywood that has ever had the slightest interaction with the producer. It Continued on Page 2
IT'S PRETTY INTRUSIVE GUYS
PRO C TORTRA C K C ATC HES STU D ENT M I D J ERK - SESH MIKE HAWK PELVIS SAFETY OFFICER
EW BRUNSWICK— This N past week has been hell for most students taking their midterms, but for one student, it was about to get much worse. Andrew Redstein had almost finished his busy week of 4 midterms. He had already finished 3 of them in classic middle-ofthe-road student fashion and needed to complete his fourth. The monster set before him was none other than Social Media for the Arts Online, the GPA destroyer for most journalism majors.
Andrew decided to start his with some time to spare for the exam with all of his attention leisure activities he missed out focused on completing the exam, Continued on Page 2
FRICKIN'
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Frat Raises $2,000 For Victims Of Sexual Assault. $48,000 Short Of The Court Mandated Minimum Holy Fuck That Last One Was Too Long To Be Called A Quickie