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Rutgers Entertainment Weekly www.rutgersmedium.com
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OCTOBER 23rd, 2013
Volume XLVI Issue VI
ITS THE GAY ISSUE! YUP THAT'S A THING
GAY COMMUNITY NOT SURE WHAT TO PROTEST ABOUT ANYMORE BY BAKING UP TROUBLE MANAGING EDITOR
TRENTON, NJ-- The recent ruling by the Mercer County Superior Court has left a gaping hole in the lives of gays around New Jersey, a hole that cannot be filled. Monday was the first day when same-sex couples in the state were able to legally say their I do’s and while this seems like a time to rejoice for the gay community, many were left asking themselves, “what do we do now?” Homosexuals now wake up to a typical boring and unfulfilling life, trying to figure out how to spend all of this free time that they now have on their hands, resulting in mass hysteria. “I used to exert my anger at marriage equality rallies all day, every day, and now I’m lucky if I can even get pissed at the bitch This transition to quieter who keeps messing up my cof- times can be related to the Afrifee order at Starbucks,” said lo- can-American community when cal gay Antoine Laferve. the Civil Rights Movement end-
ed in the 1960s, forcing blacks to find a new cause to fight about: desegregating seedless and nonContinued on Page 2
GOING THAT EXTRA YARD, OR NOT
For Gary ‘TurNova,’ Interceptions Go Beyond Football
BY REBELLIOUS JOHN CLAYTON STAFF WRITER
PISCATAWAY, NJ – People nationwide who tuned in to watch Rutgers play Louisville know what Nova's game is all about: throwing the ball to the other team. But where Nova and overly-optimistic Rutgers fans see room for improvement, those close to Nova simply see an extension of Gary's regular life. A “close friend” of Nova's, in an interview with The Medium revealed that Gary “gets picked off” while attempting most daily activities. “At the dining hall, he'll be reaching for a wide-open plate, but almost always an agile black guy will jump in front and grab it right from under him. In class, his homework always gets intercepted on his
way to handing in assignments. Someone gets a free 100% at Gary's expense.” New information has sparked an NCAA investigation into Nova's eligibility. Reportedly, Nova never actually received
a high school diploma. As he was about to grab it and shake hands with his superintendent, an Eagle swooped down and snatched it. This could be Continued on Page 2
Your Personal Door Mat SInce 1970
QUICKIES
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