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Installing a bidet: no simple project

Q. Because of this crazy time, we couldn’t get toilet paper, so I saw an advertisement for a bidet that attaches to the bottom of the toilet seat and ordered one. After weeks of waiting, there seemed like toilet paper was back in the stores, but then the bidet arrived. With no job to run off to, I decided to put the bidet on, and the instructions looked simple enough. That’s when I discovered that, like you often say, nothing is simple, and you’re right. My toilet is the kind that is sleek and modern, called “low profile.” Since we have never replaced the toilet seat, I didn’t know that the seat was attached with hidden bolts that can’t be loosened or

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taken off. After going on YouTube, I saw in an instructional video by Kohler, the maker, that with a special-order kit that includes a flat tool, new bolts and special expanding sleeves, which I would need to use with a

bunch of drill bits, a screwMonte Leeper

driver and a mallet, I could do this “simple” job.

I called a plumber, who looked at it and made one of those sounds like air rushing out of a balloon, and he said, after he couldn’t get the screw to loosen, either, that the toilet might get damaged if they drilled it out but they could try. If it got damaged, he said, as a backup, be prepared to replace the toilet and select what you would want to replace it. Even though I’m now searching for a new model toilet, I thought other readers would want to know about this problem before they go through this, as well. It all started with a simple roll of toilet paper that could have been available if people hadn’t swept them off the shelves in a panic. What would you do in this case?

A. I not only got calls from people I knew that they ordered the bidet attachment around early April, but I ordered one myself, and learned from your question that there were many who are experiencing the same issues. I’m often told by prospective clients that they want a simpler look, something more modern and “updated.” People seldom want to hear the truth when they have an idea about how to make things simpler, and I didn’t imagine that the engineers of that type of sleeklooking low toilet, with no indents or hidden places to clean, would actually be more complicated to work with. Who would have imagined that changing a toilet seat would mean changing a toilet?

When people see something in a magazine, like an incredible staircase with no walls underneath or a fancy sports car, I wonder if they really understand the amount of complicated engineering that goes into the “simple” design. I would drill out the bolts with the kit standing by from the manufacturer and have the toilet selected, readily available to purchase for installation. Good luck!

© 2020 Monte Leeper Readers are encouraged to send questions to yourhousedr@aol.com, with “Herald question” in the subject line, or to Herald Homes, 2 Endo Blvd., Garden City, NY 11530, Attn: Monte Leeper, architect.

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