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| SUNDAY, JUNE 23, 2024
Society’s debilitating expectation of men:
Toughen Up Dr. McCarthy recommends a range of actions to keep good anxiety from going bad. People who have strong support systems are more likely to benefit from the potential positive benefits of anxiety. (PHOTO COURTESY OF ISTOCK IMAGES)
By Staasi Heropoulos
Special To The Republican
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When Rick Brohman sits down in a restaurant, he still keeps his back to the wall and an eye on the door. Being what he calls ‘hyper-vigilant’ is what helped this ex-marine from Palmer survive combat during Desert Storm in 1991. “We were in Iraq fighting Saddam Hussein and we went through the oil fires and scud [missile] attacks,” said the 55-year-old. “After I came home, certain sounds or smells would take me back to when I was in combat, and that would give me anxious feelings, because when you’re in combat, you get very anxious.” Brohman said he kept quiet about his anxiety because he was taught, that’s what men do when they come home from war. “It’s a huge thing. You’ve got the silent generation, the guys from World War I and World War II who never talked about it,” he said. The marine veteran was like millions of men who were told, from when they were boys, society expects them to be strong and silent. “Prodded by male social expressions such as ‘be a man,’ ‘boys don’t cry,’ ‘don’t be a wimp,’ ‘suck it up,’ and ‘shake it off,’ They are expected to be strong, tough, self-reliant, and dominant,” writes organizational speaker and trainer Preston Ni, in the June 2023 edition of Psychology Today. Brohman tried hiding his fears from the world, but he wasn’t fooling his wife, who
encouraged him to get mental health care help from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Healthcare. He took her advice, and after extensive counseling, medication and thanks to a service dog name Clay, Brohman is leading a much happier life. “That’s why I got my dog. He takes my mind off me because I have to pay attention to something else. I tell everyone, my wife saved my life.”
Fear of falling short The U.S. National Institutes of Health report, “Anxiety disorders are the most prevalent mental health disorder experienced by men.” The NIH goes on to say, anxiety spikes in some men when they feel they have fallen short of what society expects in a man. “Masculine norms (i.e., stoicism, toughness, invulnerability) appear to be central to men’s experiences and expressions of anxiety as well as men’s help-seeking and coping behaviors,” stated the NIH. Because some men see anxiety as a weakness, they don’t admit to being anxious—and they don’t seek help, said the NIH. The consensus among mental healthcare professionals is, women are more likely than men to admit they suffer from anxiety. According to the NIH, in 2022, 23% of females had a diagnosed anxiety disorder, compared to 14% of males. “Statistics will tell us that anxiety is much more prev-
essentially what drives us,” said Dr. McCarthy. Dr. McCarthy recommends a range of actions to keep good anxiety from going bad. People who have strong support systems are more likely to benefit from the potential positive benefits of anxiety. He advises, regular exercise, good nutrition along with getting enough sleep, cleanliness and a positive work-life balance also help keep anxiety under control. Society’s ‘just-be-a-man’ expectations may cause anxiety, but there are other factors. “There can be a genetic predisposition, but more often anxiety is triggered by lifestyle factors, such as high stress jobs, family pressures, health problems, or simply the pressures to perform in work or other areas of life creating lack of confidence and low self-esteem,” said Dr. McCarthy. (SUBMITTED PHOTO) Dr. McCarthy advises men to seek treatment when anxispiral that cause mind and less likely to endorse mental health issues and/or ask for ety goes from being a helping body to break down. “Severe anxiety can have help, thus it is reasonable to hand to becoming a hardship, disrupting life by making it a negative impact on one’s consider that this discrepancy may not be as large as it difficult to focus, perform at thinking ability, including appears,” he continued. poor attention and concentra- work, or have healthy relation, short term memory, and tionships with friends and Anxious reaction impaired decision making. If family. Some men may also turn to unhealthy ways of untreated, this can certainly There is a range of ways a have an undesirable impact man’s body reacts to anxicoping. When it goes untreated, on daily living activities, work, ety—a pounding or racing anxiety can lead to a world and relationships,” said Dr. heart, excessive sweating, muscle tension, restlessness, McCarthy. of bad practices. Brohman agitation, dizziness, shortness turned to beer for comfort. “You drink a couple beers and of breath, choking sensations, The good and bad Experts say anxiety is a nor- relax. Your mind craves to insomnia or panic attacks. “There are many different mal part of life—it can height- be relaxed and comfortable en awareness, spur action and because you’re so on edge all types of anxiety conditions enhance decisiveness. “It is the time.” that can manifest and, if left alent among women than men,” said Jeffrey R. McCarthy, Psy.D. outpatient mental health program manager at the VA Central Western Massachusetts Healthcare System. “However, if I’ve learned anything working in a VA healthcare system that is predominantly comprised with men, it is that men are
untreated, can unfortunately result in the development of other psychiatric or medical problems, behavioral issues, or unhealthy coping mechanisms, including but not limited to substance use disorders,” said Dr. McCarthy. If men are unwilling to admit they suffer from anxiety, they are also less likely to seek help, creating a downward
There are different ways of treating anxiety, from individual and group therapy sessions to medication. “Psychotherapy typically includes teaching strategies to manage the cognitive, emotional, and physiological symptoms of anxiety, followed by exposure techniques in which one is gradually exposed to that which is creating said anxiety. These triggers can include environmental factors, one’s own thoughts of excessive fear or worry, or reminders of a past trauma,” said Dr. McCarthy. While depression can be a seasonal disorder, triggered by the bitter cold and darkness of winter, anxiety is not typically linked to the change of seasons. Dr. McCarthy advises men who think they are suffering from anxiety to contact their primary care providers who can make important recommendations and referrals. Men and their families may also find additional information and strategies by going online and consulting reputable sources. Brohman survived the first Gulf War by being brave under fire, now he’s surviving life by having the courage to ask for help. “One of our greatest challenges is breaking the stigma that asking for help is suggestive of being weak or less masculine,” said Dr. McCarthy. “Anxiety is normal, but chronic or high levels of anxiety can be debilitating.”