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MARCH 23 7:30 PM
606 Laguna Canyon Road, Laguna Beach
7
MARCH 1, 2026
SERVICE
AND HEALING AT THE 34TH WORLD DAY OF THE SICK MASS
About 1,600 faithful from across Orange County gathered at Christ Cathedral for the annual Mass.
AROUND OUR DIOCESE
A prayer vigil, clothing drive and new speaker series are among events taking place across the diocese this month.
ROMANCE IN MARRIAGE
Understanding and forgiveness brings us closer to God. 14 12
Linda Ji, from the Office for Family Life, offers suggestions to keep the romance alive.
FORGIVENESS
ORANGE COUNTY CATHOLIC MISSION STATEMENT
The Orange County Catholic Newspaper seeks to illuminate and animate the journey of faith for Catholics within the Roman Catholic Diocese of Orange – building solidarity among the faithful and inviting a deeper understanding and involvement in the mission of Christ – through the timely sharing of news, commentary and feature content in an engaging, accessible and compelling format.
ORANGE COUNTY CATHOLIC
The Official Newspaper of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Orange Diocese of Orange Pastoral Center, 13280 Chapman Ave., Garden Grove 92840
Publisher: The Most Reverend Kevin W. Vann, Bishop of Orange
Director of Custom Content: Caroline Wong, cawong@scng.com
SCNG CUSTOM CONTENT
Managing Editor: Caitlin Adams Art Director: Ryann Beveridge
Delivered weekly to parishes and homes throughout Orange County, Calif., Orange County Catholic is published by SCNG Custom Content, a division of Southern California News Group that offers content development and design expertise to businesses and nonprofit institutions. The Orange County Catholic editorial staff and editorial council are responsible for the content contained herein. Events and products advertised in Orange County Catholic do not carry the implicit endorsement of the Diocese of Orange or SCNG Custom Content.
ROSARY BEADS
READER CALL-OUT
Little did I realize that when I received my Confirmation with an Our Lady of Fatima Rosary in Peoria, Illinois, that I would spend the next 80 years at Our Lady of Fatima Parish in San Clemente, California. —Maureen Redfield
If you would like to share a photo of your Rosary Beads with our readers, please send a photo and brief description (include your name and parish) to: Editor@occatholic.com
READINGS FOR THE WEEK
MONDAY
DANIEL 9:4B-10; PSALM 79:8, 9, 11 AND 13; LUKE 6:3638
TUESDAY
ISAIAH 1:10, 1620; PSALM 50:8-9, 16BC-17, 21 AND 23; MATTHEW 23:1-12
“ When our dialogue is lived out in actions, a powerful message resounds.” — Pope Leo XIV
SAINT PROFILE
WEDNESDAY
JEREMIAH 18:18-20; PSALM 31:5-6, 14, 15-16; MATTHEW 20:17-28
THURSDAY
JEREMIAH 17:5-10; PSALM 1:1-2, 3, 4 AND 6; LUKE 16:19-31
ANGELA OF THE CROSS (ANGELA DE LA CRUZ) 1846 - 1932
MARIA DE LOS ANGELES Guerrero Gonzalez, called Angelita, grew up in Seville, Spain. With little formal education, she was placed in a cobbler's workshop making shoes. But she was drawn to religious life and tried the Discalced Carmelites and Sisters of Charity, before illness forced her return to home and the shoe factory. After patiently discerning a call to be poor among the poor, Angelita and three like-minded women moved into a small rented house in 1875, forming the Company of the Cross. They prayed and meditated, but were always available to serve the poor and dying. By the time of her death, Madre Angelita's Company had spread from Spain to Italy and Argentina. She was canonized in 2003.C
ORANGE COUNTY’S ORIGINAL “JEWEL OF THE MISSIONS” GETS GUSSIED UP FOR BIG BIRTHDAY
BY GREG MELLEN
WHILE THE NATION gears up for 250th semi quincentennial celebrations of the 1776 founding of the United States, Orange County has its own 1776 commemoration lined up.
On Nov. 1, Mission San Juan Capistrano officially celebrates its birthday, with a crowded calendar of events.
To offer an overview of the Mission’s history as well as a preview of what’s on tap, Mechelle Lawrence Adams, who has served as executive director for 23 years, recently met with Fr. Christopher Smith, Rector Emeritus of Christ Cathedral, on his “Cathedral Square” radio show.
The celebration began last October and is only ramping up.
“From September to November it’s intense,” Adams said.
Events include a yearlong “Artifact of the Month” program across the city, including the historic 1865 Lincoln document (signed by the president shortly before his death, returning ownership of the Mission to the Catholic Church), a 19th-century confessional booth, as well as rare art, books and other items.
There will also be speakers, concerts and shows with award-winning performers, a food and wine festival, a spectacular uplighting ceremony, special Masses and, yes, birthday cupcakes.
It has already played host to a filming of the documentary “Acjachemen Nation 2025 Pow Wow,” about the area’s inhabitants when missionaries arrived.
Arguably the most famous and picturesque of the California missions, it features the remaining ruins from its Great Stone Church to the surviving Serra Chapel, a profusion of flowers (and, of course, the swallows) the “Jewel of the Missions” welcomes 300,000 to 500,000 visitors annually.
Not only is the Mission a destination, but it is also internationally renowned, with tours offered in six languages, most recently adding Mandarin.
Mission San Juan Capistrano is one of two California missions that celebrates 250th anniversaries this year, along with Mission San Francisco de Asís or Mission Dolores in San Francisco.
Overseeing it all, from historic preservation to marketing, is Adams.
“Taking care of a ‘jewel’ is something we can all be proud of,” Adams said of her team, the Diocese of Orange and community partners.
The Nov. 1, 1776, Mass celebrated by St. Junípero Serra marked the re-founding of the Mission, which had been abandoned a year earlier after priests and troops were withdrawn in the wake of violence to the south in San Diego.
Today’s jewel of a mission, with its spectacular display of flowers and ornate gardens, is unlike the original, which was a working enterprise of Catholic clerics, soldiers and laborers from the Acjachemen people.
However, it remains one of the better and more authentically preserved of the missions, from the ruins of the large chapel that collapsed in 1812, to the surviving Serra Chapel, the oldest standing building in California dating to 1782, and other expertly restored and renovated buildings from the era.
Adams, who is devoted to the highest degrees of historical preservation, said, “We really lean into the National Trust for Historic Preservation standards,” Adams jokingly refers to refurbishment as “Botox for the buildings.”
Attention to detail goes all the way to watering the gardens, which was changed, Adams said, when it was learned that moisture was seeping and degrading original adobe.
VISITORS WATCH THE RINGING OF THE HISTORIC MISSION BELLS AT MISSION SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO ON MARCH 18, 2024. PHOTO BY MARISA TRUJILLO/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
MECHELLE LAWRENCE ADAMS, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF MISSION SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO, RECENTLY MET WITH FR. CHRISTOPHER SMITH, RECTOR EMERITUS OF CHRIST CATHEDRAL, ON HIS “CATHEDRAL SQUARE” RADIO SHOW TO DISCUSS THE MISSION’S 250TH BIRTHDAY. PHOTO BY JIM GOVERNALE
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5
A MOVING HISTORY
Adams said the history of the Mission is one of change — from a working farm, including the state’s original vineyard, and religious center to Spanish rule and secularization, to U.S. ownership and eventually its return to the Church.
In their way, Adams said the missions are like “a chain-link necklace of geopolitical change.”
When Adams took over, it was as a non-Catholic (she later converted to Catholicism) who could see “how the Mission was perceived” by the general public.
Despite the changes, she said of the Mission, “at heart it was always Catholic.”
Even centuries later, Fr. Christopher said, “it’s amazing to see Fr. Serra’s imprint.”
For all the Mission’s historic significance, it was a piece of pop culture that brought it back to prominence.
In the 1920s Fr. Robert O’Sullivan began celebrating the small migratory birds that traveled to the Mission in the spring to nest in church eaves. In 1940 the Leon René song, “When the Swallows Come Back to Capistrano,” was recorded by the Ink Spots as well as Glenn Miller and became a smash hit. By 1954 a children’s celebration grew into a city-wide parade and a tradition was born.
“Because of that song,” Adam said, “we were ushered in as a destination.”
Although the number of “avian ambassadors,” as Adams calls the cliff swallows, has diminished due to climate change, urbanization, shifts in migratory patterns and parasites, “Swallows Day” remains hugely popular.
Despite the decline in bird population, “the first question that’s always asked,” by little children is the location of the swallows.
The Mission even hired a bird expert to study the swallows and suggest ways to revive the population.
Going forward beyond year 250, Adams said Mission San Juan Capistrano will continue as “a living organism,” with its school, regular Masses, tourists and as a wedding and entertainment venue.
“For 250, it’s robust,” Adams said.
A list of upcoming events is available at sjc250.org C
A CONCERT AREA IS SET UP AT MISSION SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO IN 2023. PHOTO BY THE DIOCESE OF ORANGE
THE RUINS FROM THE GREAT STONE CHURCH, MISSION SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO. PHOTO BY JOSHUA SUDOCK/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
SERVICE AND HEALING AT THE 34TH WORLD DAY OF THE SICK MASS
BY MADISON ZUÑIGA
THE DIOCESE CAME together recently to attend the World Day of the Sick Mass at Christ Cathedral. About 1,600 worshippers from across Orange County joined Catholics around the globe to solemnly observe the 34th World Day of the Sick.
The World Day of the Sick is observed annually on Feb. 11, coinciding with the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes. Pope John Paul II instituted the day in 1992, as a "special time of prayer and sharing, of offering one’s suffering for the good of the Church and of reminding everyone to see in his sick brother or sister the face of Christ.” The Mass was celebrated at Christ Cathedral on Feb. 14.
For 2026, Pope Leo XIV selected the theme of “The compassion of the Samaritan: loving by bearing the pain of the other,” emphasizing social charity and love for one’s neighbor.
After a morning Rosary, Bishop Timothy Freyer presided over the Mass, which included the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. In line with this year’s theme, the bishop’s homily described the Lord as the divine Good Samaritan who draws near to a wounded earth.
“This year we reflect on the parable of the Good Samaritan and pray as well for all those who care for the sick, family members, friends, caregivers, nurses and doctors,” said Bishop Freyer. “Their kindness, generosity and patience are a great gift to those who are sick and show us how to be a neighbor to those in need.”
Bishop Freyer continued, “This great sacrament allows the Lord to heal us; sometimes physically, as I have seen miraculous healings, many times emotionally and always spiritually. He has
healed divisions in families through this sacrament. Family members who had not spoken to each other for years or decades were able to forgive one another. He has given people who were afraid of the dying process peace and courage, knowing that death allows them to be with the Lord in Paradise.”
Parishioner Claudia Carrillo shared her story of healing at the World Day of the Sick Mass.
“I was here last year, and I received healing, because I was going through a spiritual battle. I was afflicted for more than 25 years in a difficult marriage, and God gave us the grace of this miracle. And so last year, when I came, I felt like this big weight was lifted off my back, and I know that it was my Lord and my blessed mother from Lourdes.”
The World Day of the Sick Mass is sponsored annually by the Orange County branch of the lay religious order, the Order of Malta, which is dedicated to humanitarian service and medical care. The Order of Malta is the second oldest religious order in the world, with 13,500 members in over 120 countries. In Orange County, there are more than 80 Knights and Dames of the Order who serve on the diocesan level, serving with local charities such as Serra’s Pantry and St. Norbert’s Food Bank.
The Order plays a key role in organizing the Mass.
“Our charism is to take care of the sick and the poor,” explained Pamela Dow, the region leader for the Order of Malta in Orange County. "We're almost 1,000 years old; we were the first ones to have hospitals before the Crusades. We continue that work today.”
In addition to their sponsorship, the Knights and Dames coordinate with the diocese, collect petitions for healing, support the priests in the anointing of
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BISHOP TIMOTHY FREYER, WITH DEACON MODESTO CORDERO, BLESSES THE FAITHFUL DURING THE WORLD DAY OF THE SICK MASS CELEBRATED ON FEB. 14 AT CHRIST CATHEDRAL. PHOTO BY EVERETT JOHNSON/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
the sick and give away vials of holy water from the miraculous spring in Lourdes, France, which they collect during their annual pilgrimage.
Every year during the first week of May, the order brings Catholics from across the Western Association of the Order of Malta who are experiencing serious illness to Lourdes. During this visit, the order delivers the petitions they collect and brings 150 pounds (or about 18 gallons) of water back home to distribute at the next World Day of the Sick Mass.
“We're self-funding,” explained Dow. “We don't have big galas. We provide the money to take the people to Lourdes. This is an order where we must roll up our sleeves and volunteer and serve every month.”
David Schinderle, a Knight of the Order of Malta expressed his gratitude for the high number of faithful in attendance at this year’s Mass.
“I’m really blown away by the number of people this year,” he said. “Every year it keeps getting bigger and bigger. We're grateful that the parishes publish it in the bulletins so that more and more people can come and get the blessings of this special Mass and honor Our Lady of Lourdes.”
The observance has a significant impact on the local community.
“I wanted to come back today because I was so healed,” said Carrillo. “This year was different, but I still believe, and I have my faith. And I know our Mother of Lourdes and it’s wonderful.” C
THE WORLD DAY OF THE SICK MASS WAS CELEBRATED ON FEB. 14 AT CHRIST CATHEDRAL. PHOTO BY EVERETT JOHNSON/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
GOING FOR THE GOLD: A CELEBRATION OF CULTURES AT CHRIST CATHEDRAL ACADEMY
BY BRITNEY ZINT
AS THE 2026 WINTER Olympics officially began in Italy, a smaller opening ceremony was happening in Orange County. This one was not to celebrate athleticism, but to embrace the rich cultural traditions here in the local community.
Christ Cathedral Academy hosted its first “Go for the Gold: An Olympic Celebration of Cultures” on Feb. 6 in the Garden Grove school’s gym. The event brought together different cultural traditions into one big opening ceremony, featuring performances from the Philippines, Mexico, Vietnam, Hawaii and Samoa.
“To see all of our cultures come together as one is amazing, and that’s what we’ve always wanted: unity,” said parent Belle Ibanez, who organized the event. “So, to see that happen today was very, very humbling, and to see the children laughing and smiling and having a good time was just amazing as well.”
The “Olympic Fanfare and Theme” played through the gym, quieting the packed crowd as Principal Julianna Tapia held up a glowing child-safe Olympic torch and led the way. Followed by kindergarten up to eighth graders, almost every student wore traditional clothing or items representing their heritage. Colorfully embroidered huipils, China poblanas and silk áo dài filled the room as students processed into the event.
“I think honestly it was really cool to see all the cultures,” said seventh-grader Grace Mayberry, 13, “and I think it just shows the diversity of the school, which I think is really nice.”
The event featured dancing, singing, chanting and performances from around the globe. The show featured two dances by the Filipino Barkadahan Dance
THE BARKADAHAN DANCE TROUPE PERFORMS A TRADITIONAL FILIPINO DANCE ON FEB. 6. PHOTOS BY ALAN WENDELL/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
Troupe: a maglalatik, a war dance where the boys held coconut shell halves that they hit against the ones strapped to their knees, stomach and back; and a tinikling, where students danced while dodging rhythmically clapping bamboo canes. The eighth-grade class performed a traditional Vietnamese dance with red ombre fans for the girls and branches of yellow apricot blossoms for the boys; a mom sang a mariachi song about love; and the teachers and staff performed hula.
Samoan culture was represented with a chant, a song, a dance and a performance of the traditional Siva Samoa that included multiple generations of families. The closing performance featured a Vietnamese lion dance, which got the smaller students rushing up to pet the elaborate costumes.
The event was “amazing,” said Tapia, who hopes the students realize that the community’s cultural diversity makes it a special community to be part of.
“We are such a beautifully diverse community and school,” she added. “We
of the diocese, and a portion of every ticket goes back to benefit the Diocese of Orange,” said Clare Wehan, a senior group sales account manager at Angels Baseball.
This is the first year the school has had one big cultural event. In the past it has celebrated Tết, Hispanic Heritage Month and AAPI events separately, said Ibanez. Bringing all the cultures of the school together for one big celebration was an idea the parents lobbied for, said Tapia.
“I told Mrs. Tapia it would be a perfect opportunity to showcase our melting pot of cultures here at CCA,” Ibanez said.
When the students share their cultures, they get a deeper understanding of each other and that creates community, said Music Director Mallory Susank. At CCA, students are not ashamed or afraid to wear their cultural clothing, but they are excited for each other and to cheer one another on, she added.
“I think the students just find more of a home when they can express where they come from and they’re not afraid because they see all their friends doing it for their cultures,” Susank said. “They are more willing to do it when there’s an environment where there is safety in doing that.” C
find it very important for the children to recognize all the special parts of each culture that make up our academy.”
When all the performances ended, it was time for lunch. Students returned to their classrooms with a special lunch of fried rice and churros. The churros were donated by Churrería El Moro, a maker of the traditional churros and chocolate for the last 90 years. The company originated in Mexico City and recently opened a location in the Mercado González in Costa Mesa’s Northgate Market.
“We are creators of tradition, and we want to be part of the community, so we’re here,” said Luis Martinez of El Moro. “Being creators of tradition, we wanted to be a part of tradition, be a part of celebrating all of our cultures.”
Angels Baseball also came to raise awareness for its annual Catholic Families Night, which will take place on June 27. Families who purchase tickets will get a special-edition Catholic Angels hat.
“This year it’s honoring the 50th year
LUIS MARTINEZ, OF CHURRERÍA EL MORO, WITH HIS CREW PROVIDES CHURROS FOR THE STUDENTS. PHOTOS BY ALAN WENDELL/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
STUDENTS GREET CAISHEN, THE CHINESE GOD OF WEALTH WITH HIGH FIVES.
AROUND OUR DIOCESE
BY STAFF
WORLD DAY OF CONSECRATED LIFE
The 30th World Day for Consecrated Life was celebrated on Feb. 7 at Christ Cathedral, with Bishop Timothy Freyer presiding. This annual event, celebrated in the Church on the Solemnity of the Presentation of the Lord, was instituted by Pope John Paul II and is known as World Day for Consecrated Life. We give thanks to the Lord for the gift of the consecrated life and the Church, and we ask God for many more vocations to religious life, secular institutes and consecrated virgins in the Diocese of Orange.
The event also recognized jubilarians, including one celebrating 80 years, and two religious communities celebrating 100 years of their foundation in California. This year’s event also included a dinner and a reflection by Bishop Freyer in the Cultural Center.
50 Years: Sr. Susan Blaschke, SDSH, Sr. Joan Games, SDSH, Sr. Debra Flander, SDSH, Sr. Theresa Thanh Thuy Phan, LHC, Sr. Cecilia Lan Nguyen, LHC, Sr. Maria Loan Tran, LHC, Sr. Stella Kim Le, LHC, Sr. Cecilia Magladry, CSJ
60 Years: Sr. Mary Tonga Nguyen, LHC, Sr. Christine Hilliard, CSJ, Sr. Linda Faulhaber, CSJ, Sr. Eileen Cannon, PBVM
70 Years: Sr. Charleen Robinson, CSJ
75 Years: Sr. Felicia Sarati, CSJ, Poor Clare Missionary Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament (Misioneras Clarisas): Anniversary of Foundation in Mexico
80 Years: Sr. Magali Runyan, CSJ
100 Years: Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate Conception Anniversary of Foundation in California
100 Years: Company of Mary Anniversary of Foundation in the United States”
SOLIDARITY WALK & PRAYER VIGIL
St. Irenaeus Catholic Church held a solidarity walk and prayer vigil on Feb. 3 to honor victims and survivors of human trafficking. About 57 people attended the event hosted by St. Irenaeus Health Ministry’s Bridge of Light: Human Trafficking to Human Triumph Ministry. Attendees included Cypress Mayor Pro Tem Kyle Chang and Cypress Chief of
Police Mark Lauderback.
Calls to Action include: Sign the petition to the Cypress City Council, “Ending Child Marriage Under 18—No Exceptions”; call 911 if someone is in immediate danger; call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at (800) 373-7888 if you suspect human trafficking; and join St. Irenaeus’ Care Portal Response Team to help stabilize families and reduce the risk of human trafficking. For more information, contact Monica Kovach, chair of Bridge of Light: Human Trafficking to Human Triumph Ministry at (310) 490-6113.
WARM CLOTHING DRIVE
Five tons of warm clothing were collected during St. Irenaeus Catholic Church’s annual drive held over the weekend of Jan. 31 and Feb. 1.
Coordinated by St. Irenaeus Deacon Israel Rodriguez and Knight Gary Pons and assisted by a host of Council 8599 Knights, and St. Irenaeus school students, 250 bags of clothing, blankets, bedding and shoes were collected to support local agencies to help homeless and families in need, including some parishioners.
“THE SHROUD OF TURIN: AN IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE” KICKS OFF SPEAKER SERIES
“The Shroud of Turin: An Immersive Experience” at Christ Cathedral kicks off its speaker series with its inaugural
event on March 12: “The Shroud: What I Saw & How I See It: An Evening with Deacon Pete Schumacher.”
In 1976, using a specialized analyzing machine, Deacon Pete first encountered a seemingly 3D contour of a human form on the Shroud of Turin. Guests of this event will hear his account of this startling discovery — a phenomenon that cannot be replicated by any known artistic technique.
“The Shroud: What I Saw & How I See It” starts at 6 p.m. in the Freed Theater on the Christ Cathedral campus. Tickets are $50 for general admission and $100 for VIP preferred seating. Food and drinks are included.
Tickets are available by visiting TheShroudExperience.com. For more information, call (877) 574-7683.C
ST. IRENAEUS CATHOLIC CHURCH HELD A SOLIDARITY WALK AND PRAYER VIGIL ON FEB. 3 TO HONOR VICTIMS AND SURVIVORS OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING. PHOTO COURTESY OF ROSEMARY LEWALLEN
ST. IRENAEUS CATHOLIC CHURCH COLLECTED FIVE TONS OF WARM CLOTHING DURING ITS ANNUAL DRIVE. PHOTO COURTESY OF IRV CUEVAS
“THE SHROUD OF TURIN: AN IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE” IS HOUSED ON THE CHRIST CATHEDRAL CAMPUS. PHOTO BY THE DIOCESE OF ORANGE
KEEPING THE ROMANCE IN MARRIAGE AFTER VALENTINE’S DAY (WITH HELP FROM THE SAINTS)
BY MEG WATERS
WITH VALENTINE’S
DAY chocolates and flowers now firmly in the rearview mirror (or lingering on the hips), many couples shift their focus from each other back to kids, careers, taxes and the demands of everyday life. The question is, how do you keep the romance and sweetness in marriage alive all year long?
Linda Ji, director of the diocese’s Office for Family Life, has a few suggestions to help tug at the heartstrings, even amid the chaos of everyday family life.
“Catholic couples can nourish their marriage and keep Jesus at the center all year long," said Ji. "While Valentine’s Day has become so secularized that its spiritual importance has faded, the many saints’ feast days throughout the year offer opportunities to revisit our marriage in the context of our faith.”
Each month, the Church honors saints whose lives and patronage reflect every aspect of human experience. Many are patrons of marriage, wives, husbands or families. Using a “saint of the day” or “Catholic patron saints” website can help a couple choose their personal “saint of the month”— someone whose life, example and patronage mirror the current joys or challenges within a marriage. A good place to start is the Catholic Apostolate Center’s feast day calendar.
Couples can create a personalized calendar marking meaningful feast days and use it to plan fun, romantic or spiritual activities tailored to their situation. A great place to begin is March 19, the Feast of St. Joseph. Next to his spouse, Mary, he is the greatest of all saints and the patron of marriage, fami-
lies and husbands. He is also the patron of the universal Church. In Orange County, we have a unique opportunity to celebrate his legacy at Mission San Juan Capistrano’s Swallows Day Festival. In addition to its many activities,
the Mission showcases an Italian tradition known as the “St. Joseph’s Table,” a feast of special foods and delicacies served on St. Joseph’s Day. This can be a wonderful spot for couples on a date: touring the Mission, visiting the basilica and sharing a special dinner together. Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, the parents of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, were the first married couple to be canonized together. Their feast day is July 12,
STAINED GLASS WINDOWS DEPICTING ST. JOSEPH INSIDE ST. JOSEPH CATHOLIC CHURCH IN PLACENTIA. PHOTO BY JOSHUA SUDOCK/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
FEATURE
prayer is the glue that can hold a marriage together through the ups and downs and heal the brokenhearted.
Kray uses the acronym PEA—Pride, Ego and Arrogance—to describe the attitudes at the heart of most marriage problems. The remedy is patience, kindness and gentleness. While family prayer is very important, regular private prayer shared just between a couple can be one of the most intimate habits they develop. The Krays now pray together in the morning and evening.
“I can’t put a finger on the moment I realized that our marriage had become more peaceful—we really enjoy each other, we are more patient together,” she shared. “Before, we were spiritually separated, but God showed us how to be together in spirit, and it has made all the difference.”
To begin a personal couples’ annual calendar, choose saints’ feast days that
resonate with you and reflect where your marriage is in this stage of life. Putting this list together is a first step in opening communication between spouses. Some suggestions include St. Monica, whose feast day is Aug. 27. Her prayers helped convert her wayward son, St. Augustine, whose feast day is the next day, Aug. 28. She also succeeded in converting her pagan husband. Oct. 7 is the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. This could be a day when the couple prays the Rosary together at a location that is especially meaningful to them.
The substance of each commemoration can be elaborate or simple, but it should always be meaningful. By doing these things together as a couple, by the time next Valentine’s Day rolls around, your marriage can be on a whole new level—just don’t forget the chocolates and roses. C
and their legacy is a powerful witness to holiness in ordinary marriage. A couple might celebrate their feast day by praying in thanksgiving for their children, writing a joint letter to each child or simply planning an evening at home focused on being fully present as a family.
Prayer, as in so many things, is the key element.
Lydia Kray, with her husband Dan, consult through their business, Marriage Care for Life, to both the Dio -
cese of Orange and the Diocese of San Bernardino, believes it’s the only way to keep a sacramental marriage alive.
“In the course of our 38-year marriage, we have faced struggles, some of them serious, but it wasn’t until we understood that praying together daily is where healing happens, and where the Lord grows in both of us and binds us together,” she said. “Our egos must step aside; that’s where the power lies. It is very intimate to listen to each other’s prayers, to our deepest longings.”
Having a spiritual bond through
LYDIA KRAY, ALONG WITH HER HUSBAND DAN, CONSULT TO BOTH THE DIOCESE OF ORANGE AND THE DIOCESE OF SAN BERNARDINO THROUGH THEIR BUSINESS, MARRIAGE CARE FOR LIFE. PHOTO COURTESY OF LYDIA KRAY
MISSION SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO’S SWALLOWS DAY FESTIVAL 2024 FEATURED A “ST. JOSEPH’S TABLE,” A DISPLAY OF SPECIAL FOODS AND DELICACIES SERVED ON ST. JOSEPH’S DAY. PHOTO BY EVERETT JOHNSON/ DIOCESE OF ORANGE
FORGIVENESS
BY JOAN PATTEN, AO
FORGIVENESS IS AN engagement in a real spiritual battle that we cannot win with our own strength. When we are wronged, something deep within us demands justice and satisfaction. We want our wounds acknowledged and the truth of our experience to be seen. Our desire to be understood in our suffering reveals our expectation that our dignity deserves respect. However, the struggle begins when we seek retribution or choose to sink into our pain by reliving the hurtful memory. This spiritual battle shifts when we are the ones who have caused the hurt, and forgiveness becomes even more complicated. Pride can keep us from seeking reconciliation, making it difficult to admit the truth of what we have done. Shame can trap us in a perpetual cycle of self-condemnation and convince us that we are not worthy of the free gift of mercy. Perhaps the most difficult of all is forgiving ourselves. Satan will move into our pain and encourage us to let our misery and resentment define us. If we allow these lies to take root in our lives, we will live out of our woundedness instead of the freedom Jesus offers us.
In our human experience, forgiveness does not come naturally. It goes against our tendency to demand payment for our loss. However, forgiveness is not simply a moral standard but a command from God. The good news is that God’s commands are for our good and He never commands us to do anything without providing the necessary grace. In fact, forgiveness is impossible without God’s grace and is a supernatural act.
In her diary, Divine Mercy in My Soul, St. Faustina Kowalska, said, “We resemble God most when we forgive our neighbors.” (Diary, 1148). Left to ourselves, we contemplate our wounds instead of the wounds of Jesus that proclaim God’s forgiveness. Without God’s grace, we slip
out of reality and replay offenses instead of seeking the presence of God, who sustains our very existence and wills only our good. If we don’t relate our woundedness to the Heart of Jesus, bitterness will take root in our own hearts.
Forgiveness is necessary for our wholeness and healing. If we withhold our forgiveness from others or from ourselves, we hurt ourselves even more and close ourselves off from the communion we are called to participate in on this side of Heaven. Forgiveness is possible because of God’s love for us. Jesus taught us to forgive by forgiving us first. “But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8) None of us deserves His forgiveness, and even now, we continue to take His love for granted or reject Him outright when we choose sin over receiving from Him.
This Lent, as we contemplate the Cross of Christ, the sign of God’s mercy, let us seek to receive the forgiveness we struggle to give to others or ourselves. Only at the Cross of Christ will we receive His gaze that enlightens our conscience and convicts us to seek reconciliation. Go to your local parish’s penance service or make an appointment with a priest for confession and seek to truly receive the gift of reconciliation with God and thereby His strength to forgive others. God’s forgiveness heals us and restores our identity as His beloved children. When we cooperate with God’s grace and choose to forgive others, even if they refuse to receive our reconciliation, we are united with Jesus who prayed from the Cross, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” (Lk. 23:34) C
PHOTO BY JAMETLENE RESKP ON UNSPLASH
OC Catholic Afar
It was a very meaningful Christmas 2025 for the Aceron-Bisnar family who traveled to Rome for a holiday pilgrimage. The family passed through the four Holy Doors at the Basilica of St. Mary Major, the Basilica of St. John Lateran, the Basilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls and St. Peter's Basilica before the Jubilee Year concluded.
Pictured: Chito Bisnar; his wife, Estee Aceron-Bisnar; and their sons, Brian, 13, and Brandon, 10
— The family’s home parish is St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Irvine.
We want your photos! Send your pictures of “OC Catholic Afar” — of you, family or friends visiting Catholic churches and other interesting places — to editor@occatholic.com. Please include a brief description of the photo, the name of the person(s) featured in the photo and their home parish.
Thursday, March 12 at 6PM
Freed Theater at Christ Cathedral Campus
In 1976, while using a specialized analyzing machine, Deacon Pete Schumacher first encountered a seemingly 3D contour of a human form on the Shroud of Turin. Hear his account of this startling discovery — a phenomenon that cannot be replicated by any known artistic technique.
