When Life Puts You on Hold: Finding Your Voice in Difficult Conversations by Rami Beracha
Rami Beracha shares that we've all been there – staring at our phone, heart racing, knowing we need to make that call we've been putting off for weeks Maybe it's confronting a friend about something that's been bothering you, having that overdue money conversation with a family
member, or finally addressing workplace issues with your boss These moments feel like standing at the edge of a cliff, don't they?
Here's what I've learned after years of avoiding difficult conversations and then finally diving headfirst into them: the anticipation is almost always worse than the actual call. Our minds are incredibly creative when it comes to catastrophizing We imagine every possible worst-case scenario, replay conversations that haven't even happened yet, and convince ourselves that one uncomfortable phone call will somehow ruin everything.
But here's the thing – difficult conversations are like exercise for your emotional muscles. The more you do them, the stronger you get I used to rehearse scripts for hours before making tough calls, writing down every possible response and counter-response. Now I realize that authenticity always beats preparation. People can sense when you're being genuine, even when you're nervous
The secret sauce isn't eliminating the butterflies in your stomach – it's learning to fly with them. Begin by acknowledging that discomfort is a regular part of the process Your racing heart isn't a sign you shouldn't make the call; it's proof that what you're about to discuss actually matters to you.
I've found that leading with vulnerability is incredibly effective. Instead of launching into accusations or demands, try something like, "This is really hard for me to bring up, but " or "I've been struggling with how to say this " It immediately shifts the conversation from a confrontational to a collaborative tone.
And let's be real – sometimes these calls don't go well Sometimes people get defensive, hang up, or react poorly. That's their stuff, not yours. You can only control your side of the conversation Speaking your truth with kindness and respect is always the right choice, regardless of how others respond.
The most surprising discovery? Most people actually appreciate directness, even when the topic is uncomfortable We're all walking around with things we need to say but don't know how to express When you take that first brave step, you often permit others to be honest, too
So next time you're staring at your phone, procrastinating on that difficult call, remember this: your future self is counting on your current courage Take a deep breath, dial the number, and trust that you'll find the right words when you need them