VOLUME 4, ISSUE 22; SEPTEMBER 21 - OCTOBER 4, 2022; WWW.QCNERVE.COM Revisiting some of Queen City Nerveâs most important stories
Pg. 2 SEPTEMBER 21OCOTBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
PUBLISHER JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jlafrancois@qcnerve.com
DIGITAL EDITOR KARIE SIMMONS ksimmons@qcnerve.com
AD SALES EXECUTIVE
RENN WILSON rwilson@qcnerve.com
EDITOR IN CHIEF RYAN PITKIN rpitkin@qcnerve.com
STAFF WRITER PAT MORAN pmoran@qcnerve.com
TABLE OF CONTENTS
NEWS & OPINION
5 Gems in the Rough by Ryan Pitkin (7/31/19)
Carolinasâ first recovery school pulls kids from path of addiction
7 UPDATE: Growth and Excellence by Ryan Pitkin
Emerald School continues to expand its services in east Charlotte
8 UPDATE: Hitting Milestones by Karie Simmons
Isabella Santos Foundation marks 15 years
9 UPDATE: Representation Matters by Ryan Pitkin
Carolina Migrant Network to merge with Comunidad Colectiva, expand services
ARTS & CULTURE
10 A Kindred Spirit by Pat Moran (2/26/20)
Georgie Nakima connects people, places and plants
13 UPDATE: In the Public Eye by Pat Moran
Celebrated muralist Georgie Nakima expands her palette
14 UPDATE: A Laughing Stock by Dezanii Lewis
Brian OâNeil returns to the stage
16 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks
MUSIC
18 Pulling no Punches by Ryan Pitkin (5/23/19)
ReeCee Raps builds budding career, stomps out domestic violence
20 UPDATE: ReeCee Does It by Ryan Pitkin
ReeCee Raps shifts her focus and her sound but not her work ethic
21 UPDATE: On the Grindhaus by Pat Moran
Charlotte producer Jason Jet takes artists under his wing
22 Soundwave
FOOD & DRINK
24 Watch It Grow by Ryan Pitkin (4/10/19)
Bernard Singleton continues cultivating Bennu Gardens with new moringa project
26 UPDATE: Here to Stay by Ryan Pitkin
Bernard Singleton expands mission to support Black farmers at Nebedaye Farms
28 Viva Lang Van by Pat Moran (7/1/20)
East Charlotte staple sees community step up in time of struggle
30 UPDATE: Still Standing by Rayne Antrim
Lang Van back on stable ground after pandemic struggles
LIFESTYLE
34 Puzzles
36 Aerin It Out by Aerin Spruill
37 Horoscope
38 Savage Love
Thanks to our contributors: Emily Stepp, Grant Baldwin, Aerin Spruill, Rayne Antrim, Dezanii Lewis, Jonathan Cooper, Nicole Driscoll, Mark Bellis, Andre Ampear, Jim Greenhill, and Dan Savage.
Pg. 3 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
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COVER DESIGN BY: JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS
STILL HERE
Itâs a matter of passion
BY RYAN PITKIN
In an Editorâs Note that we published in our second paper ever on Dec. 19, 2018, I wrote about the experience of putting out our first one two weeks previously.
âIâve never experienced a day quite like Dec. 5, which was our first print day two weeks ago. It seemed like everything that could have gone wrong did. New computers bought just weeks previously began to crash under the strain of everything thatâs needed to put a paper out. Indentations mysteriously
disappeared from each page, leaving square blocks of text. Entire rounds of copy edits apparently never got saved, leading to as cringeworthy a paper as Iâve ever been involved with in terms of typos and the like.
âDespite all that, we got a paper out that I was proud of â albeit six hours past our print deadline,â I wrote.
I titled that Editorâs Note âWhat a Difference a Year Makes,â and now as we approach four years
since that time, Iâm blown away by how quickly the 100th issue is upon us. What the hell just happened?
All that stress that came with Dec. 5, 2018 is still a photographic memory to me, as if it happened just a week or two ago, and all the production and print days that have come since â including the one that Iâm in the middle of as I type this â all sort of meld into one.
Thatâs why Iâm grateful for the process Iâve just been through with my team in putting together this 100th Issue, the largest non-Best in the Nest issue weâve put out yet.
To put this together, weâve gone through our entire cache of articles and revisited the subjects of some of our favorite stories â favorites because they were the most impactful, favorites because they were the most important, or favorites because they were just some cool damn people doing cool damn things.
I was thankful for the chance to reconnect with Bernard Singleton, about whom Iâve now
written three articles. Visiting his Nebedaye Farms site today, itâs a wonder to think of my visit to the humble site where he launched Bennu Gardens in the parking lot of the abandoned Savona Mill in 2019. Or to remember that, before then, after he lost his son and moved to Charlotte, he and his daughter were relegated to living in a storage unit on North Davidson Street.
Even as Singleton moved onto the 11-acre Nebedaye Farms site, owned by the Carolina Farm Trust, in 2019, his struggles werenât over. He was the victim of racism from backwards neighbors, one of whom was even arrested on charges of ethnic intimidation.
And still Singleton pushed on, in some ways motivated by the hate to keep going, but mostly driven by the knowledge that what heâs doing is important.
And thatâs what Singleton shares in common with the subjects of all of the stories included in our 100th Issue: the determination to keep things moving, fueled by passion and the belief that what theyâre doing matters.
I recently had the privilege to speak to an Entrepreneurial Journalism class at Queens University, led by Charlotte Ledgerâs Cristina Bolling, and during my visit one of the students asked me a matter-of-fact question after hearing me talk about the financial struggles of co-owning a media company.
Despite our growth as a company, my business partner Justin and I donât pay ourselves salaries just yet, and both of us keep part-time jobs on the side to help supplement our income, which can be incredibly tiring and not exactly how I pictured life at 36 years old. Yet we stay true to our mission, which means putting the money we are making back into the business so as to continue the growth weâve seen in our first four years.
âSo why are you still doing it?â the student asked, incredulously.
Weâre still doing this because we think the stories weâre telling are important, and that local, independently owned media is important. There arenât many of those outlets left in this city, after all.
Alt weeklies have closed around the country and many in the media landscape have written them off as unsustainable, but we have found that not to be true, it just takes innovation, dedication and patience.
And so, as Bernard Singleton told me during my recent trip out to his farm, âWe ainât going anywhere.â
RYAN PITKIN DURING A PODCAST RECORDING IN
PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN
Pg. 4 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM NEWS & OPINION EDITORâS NOTE
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
2019
GEMS IN THE ROUGH
Carolinasâ first recovery school pulls kids from path of addiction
BY RYAN PITKIN
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JULY 31, 2019
âEvery now and then a city will have this experience â it all sort of feels like an epidemic or a tidal wave come through your city â that can get the cityâs attention,â Sasha McLean says in the 2016 documentary Generation Found. âUnfortunately that normally looks like a lot of young people dying, and all of the sudden the community kind of wakes up. Instead of ignoring the problem, we really start looking at it, and itâs painful to see.â
McLean is explaining the experience she and city leaders in Houston went through that led to her cofounding Archway Academy, one of eight recovery schools in Texas that serve students struggling with substance use disorder.
In the Carolinas, it appears the community is still sleeping. Despite the fact that overdose numbers among youth continue to rise in both states â there were 759 reported drug overdoses among people younger than 25 years old between May 1, 2017, and April 30, 2018 in Mecklenburg County alone â neither North nor South Carolina is home to a recovery school.
At a ribbon cutting for the new Emerald School of Excellence in east Charlotte on August 17, Mary Ferreri will change that.
A former health and fitness teacher and coach in Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools, Ferreri became burnt out by what she saw every day among students. At Butler High School, she led the schoolâs D.R.E.A.M. Team, a group of student athletes that commit to being drug-, alcohol-, tobacco- and violence-free, and while that experience inspired her, she couldnât turn away from the rampant drug use that other students boasted about.
âI just really started to see how big the problem was, how things were getting covered up, and
nobody was talking about it,â Ferreri said. âI was sending kids to the nurse that I knew [were high], because I pride myself on knowing my kids, and Iâm like, âIâm sorry, youâre just not right today. Whatâs going on?â And then theyâd joke with me months later because they didnât get caught but they told
me they were on so many pills.â
In 2016, Ferreri had been meeting regularly with a small group of concerned parents and teachers to discuss the substance abuse issues they knew to be plaguing their schools. They eventually began to get disgruntled with the lack of action.
âWe had many conversations there, getting to know some parents that had lost their kids, and we were kind of frustrated,â Ferreri recalled. âWe were invited constantly to all these conference roundtable discussions of coalition meetings about what should we do and whatever. We were just like, âWeâve been talking about the same things for months. Nobodyâs doing anything. So what can we do?ââ
Thatâs when a trailer for Generation Found came across one of Ferreriâs social media feeds. The trailer was so powerful that she set up a screening at a local theater without having seen the film in its entirety.
She cried through the whole film. She knew before she walked out of the theater what her new mission would be: open a recovery school in Charlotte.
A silent epidemic
According to the National Center on Addiction
and Substance Abuse, nine out of 10 adults struggling with substance abuse started using before the age of 18.
Some in the recovery community have complained for decades about the lack of intensive treatment services for youth in the Charlotte area, and although those options have increased in recent years, attention is now shifting to what options those young people have when they leave treatment.
According to a study by the Peabody Journal of Education, nearly 70% of students who attend recovery and then return to their school relapse in less than six months.
When Betsy Ragone learned that her son Michael was smoking marijuana at age 13, she checked him into the now-closed Amethyst substance abuse treatment center. Ragone said many of her friends and fellow parents told her she was overreacting.
âIt scared me, and I put him in an outpatient rehab treatment and people laughed at me,â she said. âThey said, âWell, itâs just pot,â and I said, âNo, heâs 13 years old.ââ
After leaving Amethyst, Michael went back to the same school he attended and the same friends
MARY FERRERI AT EMERALD SCHOOL OF EXCELLENCE BEFORE ITS OPENING IN 2019.
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
Pg. 5 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM NEWS & OPINION FEATURE
he had always hung out with. On the outside, he was a normal kid, active on the wrestling and football teams. But he and his friends were regularly abusing pain pills like Vicodin and Xanax.
Once he graduated high school, Michael quickly moved out from under Betsyâs roof and things worsened. Though he admitted his Xanax use to her, she didnât know that he had become addicted to heroin following a knee surgery around the age of 19.
He secretly struggled with his heroin addiction for more than a decade before admitting it to his mother in late 2015. She was blindsided. Three months later, in January 2016, he died of a heroin overdose.
In June 2016, Betsy launched Michaelâs Voice, an advocacy and support organization for families who have lost loved ones to addiction.
She has also served on boards for the Emerald School, helping Ferreri with documents and filings.
While Betsy admits that there are no guarantees with substance use disorder, she knows that if Michael had options like Emerald School when he left Amethyst, there is a better chance that he could still be alive today.
âThe statistics around kids going back to the same people, places or things are horrific,â Ragone said. âThey go back to the place where they got their drugs or they were trying to be part of a peer group where this is the cool thing. That stuffâs around in our high schools, the districts where we live ⊠and they donât want to own it, that itâs a big deal. Itâs a problem. So parents will have a choice with Maryâs school, and itâs going to save lives, period.â
The first recovery schools opened in the late 1970s and mid â80s, though the concept didnât become popular until the 2000s. In 2001, there were only five recovery schools in the United States. Today there are more than 40. Studies put the relapse rate for students who go into recovery schools at around 30% compared to the 70% rate faced by students returning to their original schools.
A solution in Charlotte
Emerald School, like many recovery schools, will serve students between the ages of 13-20. The school will use Edgenuity, a customizable online curriculum for students ranging from 6th through 12th grade. Located in a side building at Memorial United Methodist Church on Central Avenue, the school will open its doors for the first day of the
2019-20 school year on Aug. 26 with a small first class â Ferreri expects between five and 10 students to enroll. Sheâll host an open house at the school on Aug. 24 thatâs open to the public.
The school serves students with at least 30 days of sobriety and will run on a foundation of three principles: faith, fellowship and fitness. As with many 12-step programs, the âfaithâ factor is not rooted in any specific religion, but in the belief in something bigger and more powerful than oneâs self, Ferreri said.
Fellowship refers to peer-led recovery support, which will be the schoolâs top priority. The first hour of each school day will be dedicated to recovery support, which consists of students simply getting together and discussing what theyâve been going through, celebrating each otherâs victories and helping each other through struggles.
After that, things will function much like a normal school, with a block schedule that covers math, science, arts, social studies, English and the like. As the student population grows, Ferreri plans to separate students between upperclassmen and lowerclassmen, but in the meantime, the online curriculum will allow everyone to learn together at their respective levels.
Covering the fitness aspect of the schoolâs foundation, the school day will be broken up by workouts and âmovement breaks,â during which students will have the freedom to take part in whatever physical activity they are comfortable with. Ferreri was inspired by her experience as a student athlete and years as a health and fitness teacher, but also by a book titled Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, which taught her about the effects of exercise on mental wellness.
The book put into perspective Ferreriâs childhood experience with depression and eating disorders.
As a public school teacher, she had become jaded by the tendency for school systems to cut physical education when funds got low.
âThere were a lot of things that just were not making sense, like we donât need less P.E., we need more P.E.,â she said. âItâs so important for [students] to have some ownership for that component, because otherwise weâre pushing people away from being physically active, but that is a huge component to our mental and overall wellness.â
Emerald is a private school, and though Ferreri plans to pursue grants, the first year will be funded exclusively through private donors and tuition. The annual price to serve one student at a private school is more than double that of a public school
student ($8-10,000 compared to $20-24,000, respectively) and Emerald School students will have a $1,000-a-month tuition during the first year.
Ferreri hopes to lessen that in the years to come by offering scholarships. In an ideal future she will have enough funding to offer full scholarships to all of her students, but her short-term goal is to have income-based tuition, with one-third of her students paying full, one-third paying half and onethird paying low-to-no tuition.
Though Ferreri has faced criticism for making Emerald School a private school, she insists that it was the only way to get the school off the ground successfully while also allowing the school to serve students from across the Carolinas. While recovery schools have been popping up across the country, a quick glance at a map of existing schools shows a disparity in the southeast. Ridgecrest Academy in Nashville, Tennessee, and River Oak Center in Jacksonville, Florida, are the only members of the Association of Recovery Schools in the region.
Ferreri, who grew up in New York, said that in her experience, the stigma around substance abuse is stronger in the South than other parts of the country.
Pushing back
When we met at Emerald School in June, Ferreri was visibly affected by her experience since leaving CMS and diving headfirst into the recovery community. Multiple times she paused, then prefaced a statement by saying, âI hate to say this, but itâs true,â before continuing her fulmination against the apathy sheâs seen in response to substance abuse among local youth.
âI think that sometimes, we donât know what to do,â she said. âI think that the crisis is so much bigger than people want to admit it is and how many people are affected. This is to me a complete dedication of your entire life to this work, and I think people are afraid of doing that, committing their whole life, and thatâs what it takes to save somebody and to keep them through constant recovery support services.â
In the local recovery community, Ferreri has found a family willing to fight alongside her. Her passion is exceeded only by people like Donald McDonald, a Raleigh-based recovery activist who serves on Emerald Schoolâs board of directors.
At a recent fundraiser luncheon for the school at Ballantyne Hotel, McDonald gave a passionate speech that lasted more than 30 minutes, flipping from humor to a more serious tone. As he wrapped his speech, he yelled into the microphone in
frustration at those he felt were still holding back the conversation around treatment for substance use disorder.
âI want you to leave here today and not engage in the conversations: âIs addiction an illness or a choice?â Shut up, flat earther! Not today, Satan! No. Weâre beyond that conversation!,â he exclaimed. âSmash the stigma surrounding the illness, end the discrimination against our people, our families. Rally around common sense treatments and support services. This is ground zero for an epidemic of compassion and hope.â
Ragone also hopes that Emerald School can be the beginning of a new awakening around substance abuse and young people. When I asked why she thought North Carolina didnât yet have a recovery school, Ragone said leaders throughout the state have been keeping their âheads in the sandâ when it comes to youth substance abuse.
âTwo words: stigma and shame,â she answered me, âand [Ferreri is] busting the ceiling. Itâs stigma and shame and not wanting to own that this is a major problem that we could put money into on the preventative side, not just try to fix whatâs broken after itâs too late and theyâre majorly addicted and the course of their life is dismal. [Emerald School] changes that trajectory.â
Ferreriâs fight is an overwhelming one. She latches on to each story of perseverance, because she knows she canât save everyone. As much as sheâs accomplished by simply opening Emerald School, thereâs always the feeling that so many others will fall through the cracks. Itâs both the highs and the lows that drive Ferreri on her lifeâs quest to reach as many people as she can, but she needs more help than sheâs currently getting.
âI hate to say this, but the way we operate in our society is X amount of people need to die before real change happens,â she said, echoing McLeanâs sentiments in Generation Found. âI think that weâre actually at a point now in North Carolina where enough people are pissed off that too many people have died. What makes me so mad is that it takes X amount of people dying first before we provide resources, instead of learning. If you look at other states, they suffered what weâre heading towards, and this is what theyâve done to fix it, so why on Earth wouldnât we do it sooner?â
You have to start somewhere, though, and for Ferreri, that starting point comes on Aug. 26 when a small group of kids walks through her doors into a school founded on principles of acceptance, patience and hope.
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
Pg. 6 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM NEWS & OPINION FEATURE
GROWTH AND EXCELLENCE
Emerald School continues to expand its services in east Charlotte
BY RYAN PITKIN
When I first visited the Emerald School of Excellence in summer 2019, founder Mary Ferreri was puttering around the hallways of the building, located on the campus of Memorial United Methodist Church on Central Avenue, doing some last minute cleaning in the lead-up to a ribbon-cutting event she had planned for the following week.
There was a nervous energy in Ferreri, who was preparing to jump into the great unknown with Emerald School, a ârecovery schoolâ for teens who are struggling with substance abuse issues. Emerald School would be the first recovery school opened in the Carolinas, and at the time of my visit a month before its opening, Ferrari was expecting between five and 10 kids to enroll. During that first year, she taught two kids as part of Emerald Schoolâs inaugural class. She was the only teacher at the school that year.
Upon my return visit in September 2022, it was clear that Ferreriâs vision was panning out, as the school is now serving nearly 30 students and she has a full staff of teachers to carry out in-person learning as opposed to the online curriculum she began with in 2019.
In the first three years of its existence, Emerald School of Excellence has graduated 11 students who have gone on to community colleges, fouryear universities or working full-time. Ferreri now oversees a staff of 15 people, nine of which are fulltime.
Since the schoolâs 2019 launch, a wide range of donors have allowed Ferreri to offer scholarships to students who canât afford to attend the private school. She currently offers financial assistance that covers between 25%-35% of each studentâs tuition.
This year, the growth in staff has allowed Ferreri
to step back from her role as a teacher to be out in the community advocating for recovery schools and raising funds.
âMy goal as part of getting out in the community ⊠is to continue asking how I can build that scholarship base so that we can continue to say, âIâm not turning any families away because of financial strain.â We know quality care is so expensive.â
Emerald Schoolâs policy states that students must be working on their recovery outside of the school through some sort of 12-step program or the like, though working one-on-one with a counselor is an option as well.
Most recently, the school has expanded whom it accepts as students, focusing not only on substance abuse but also teens who are struggling with mental health, a change inspired by a similar policy transition at Archway Recovery School in Houston, Texas, which has served as a model for Emerald School.
âThat was their approach and, while weâre just making sure we address the needs of youth, period, weâre understanding that [mental health and addiction issues] go hand-in-hand, so if I have certain requirements and expectations of someone whoâs struggling with substance use, those can absolutely carry over and make tons of sense for someone with mental health struggles.â
Ferreri has cultivated a familial atmosphere among staff and students at the school, which was readily apparent during my visit, the result of which is a strong focus on peer support, which helps when a student is struggling to stay sober or with their mental health.
âThis is a special place where, if youâre willing to work the principles of recovery, just as a person, youâll thrive here,â she said. âBut if your ego is in the way, if youâre not willing to have personal growth, this place will almost crumble you. That goes for everybody walking in this door, staff or student.â
The growth that Ferreri is most proud of at Emerald is not measurable by numbers. Her vision of success at Emerald School is a constantly evolving one.
âThe growth within myself and my team has come from understanding what success will actually take or look like in a space like this, because itâs so different and itâs shaking up so many things that I believe in my core,â Ferreri told me.
âAs much as I preach and want for these kids to understand what I believe to be helpful, it has been equally helpful for me [to evolve] and I think required; if I didnât have to be very uncomfortable, have to keep learning, have to be open and honest constantly, then I donât think that weâd be where we are today.â
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
EMERALD SCHOOL CEO AND EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR MARY FERRERI (LEFT) WITH COO GABBY WOHLFORD.
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
Pg. 7 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM NEWS & OPINION UPDATE
HITTING MILESTONES
Isabella Santos Foundation marks 15 years
BY KARIE SIMMONS
In a personal essay published in Queen City Nerve in 2019, Erin Santos reflected on the seven years that had gone by since her daughter, Isabella, passed away from neuroblastoma, a rare cancer affecting the sympathetic nervous system.
âWe can never fully recover from the journey she took us on, the last breath she took in front of me or the lessons she taught us,â Santos wrote. âWe are thankful that we were a part of the ride she allowed us to be witness to in the 7 years we had with her and promise to take her with us for the next 7 years to come and beyond. We are going to be okay.â
Her words aimed to remind other families whoâve lost children to pediatric cancer that itâs okay to move forward without forgetting.
As founder of the Isabella Santos Foundation (ISF), Santos has been vocal about the grief cycle sheâs experienced and how her nonprofit has evolved not only since Isabellaâs diagnosis but since her death as well.
June 2022 marked 10 years since Isabella passed away and October will mark 15 years since ISF was formed.
This summer also marked a new chapter for Erin Santos, who recently wed Blair Primis, known in many circles around Charlotte for his role in supporting local media as the former senior vice president of marketing and talent management at OrthoCarolina. The couple went on their honeymoon in early September.
Since its founding in 2007, ISF has raised $9 million and donated just over $6 million toward its mission of improving treatments for rare pediatric cancer, expanding research and supporting families.
The organization has funded a dozen clinical research trials, supported six national institutions, built a state-of-the-art treatment facility, and brought one of the nationâs top oncologists to Charlotte to head the Isabella Santos Foundation Rare & Solid Tumor Program at Atrium Health Levine Childrenâs Hospital.
And to think, as Erin Santos likes to say, it all started with a girl.
Isabellaâs life began without any cause for concern â her first two years were filled with
memories and milestones just like every other child â but by the age of 2, she began to complain of frequent back and stomach pain.
After months of misdiagnoses, an MRI revealed a tumor in her abdomen and that the disease had spread to her bone marrow. She was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma and immediately began chemotherapy.
Isabella spent the next five years fighting, undergoing five relapses, each time her chances of survival reducing drastically. On June 28, 2012, she succumbed to the cancer at 7 years old.
The Isabella Santos Foundation was founded shortly after her diagnosis and originally aimed to help pay the Santos familyâs mounting medical bills and fund the constant flights to New York City and Philadelphia in search of effective treatments. Within about a year and a half, ISF transitioned into a charity that helps fund collaborative pediatric cancer research both locally and nationally.
In 2020, the foundation sharpened its mission even further to focus on fulfilling Isabellaâs three wishes: to beat cancer, grow hair, and live her dreams.
Funds donated to the Beat Cancer program go to Levine Childrenâs Hospital to help build the ISF Rare & Solid Tumor Program. The program opened in July 2020 with the arrival of world-renowned cancer researcher Dr. Giselle Sholler. Since then, solidtumor patient volume has doubled and patients are traveling to Charlotte from more than 20 countries for care.
The Grow Hair program gives to national institutions supporting clinical trials. The goal is to provide safer and more effective cancer treatment options for those fighting.
Through the Live My Dreams giving program, ISF partners with organizations such as OneBlood, The Ronald McDonald House of Charlotte and Make-AWish Foundation to help support families impacted by childhood cancer.
Erin Santos is a staunch advocate for improving Charlotteâs pediatric cancer treatment options following her own experience navigating the regionâs healthcare system.
In a 2016 interview with Creative Loafing, Santos admitted she had to take her home city âout of the equationâ when it came to getting the best care for Isabella. She hoped ISFâs efforts would one day allow more families to stay in Charlotte for care.
âWherever the best treatment is is where your child should be,â Santos said. âWe need to make it to where that is Charlotte, and thatâs what weâre trying to do.â
Toward the end of her fight against cancer, Isabella received a special therapy called MIBG that added 10 more months to her life, including another Christmas and another birthday.
At the time, Isabella had to leave Charlotte for
her MIBG treatment, which can only be delivered in a lead-lined hospital room that keeps the therapyâs radioactivity in check. Today, this cutting-edge treatment is available at Levine Childrenâs thanks to funds raised by ISF, and is one of the only MIBG treatment rooms in the region.
ISF may have started with Isabella, but today it is her legacy.
Itâs Erin Santosâ dream that her daughterâs fight with cancer will change the outcome for other children through funds raised in her memory. So far, that dream is becoming a reality.
INFO@QCNERVE.COM
ERIN SANTOS (LEFT) WITH HER NEW HUSBAND BLAIR PRIMIS.
PHOTO COURTESY OF ISF
Pg. 8 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM NEWS & OPINION UPDATE
Representation Matters
Carolina Migrant Network to merge with Comunidad Colectiva, expand services
BY RYAN PITKIN
On Aug. 5, organizers with the Latin American Coalition (LAC) held a press conference at their east Charlotte office to discuss the unprecedented number of immigrants who have arrived in Charlotte in recent months.
In a post that day, LAC stated that, beginning in early 2022, the nonprofit began seeing an increase in families coming to Charlotte from detention facilities in Texas. Between May and August, the Latin American Coalition attended to 1,430 people, 531 of them children, according to the organization. Many of those families arrived with no money and no shelter, only the clothes they were wearing on their backs, the post read.
Many of them also arrived with immigration court dates and no representation, and thatâs where the Carolina Migrant Network comes in.
We last caught up with Carolina Migrant Network co-founders Stefania Arteaga and Becca OâNeill on a January 2021 episode of our Nooze Hounds podcast, just as they celebrated the oneyear anniversary of the organization, which provides free legal representation in immigration bond proceedings to individuals detained by ICE.
Now, as the stakes increase, the Carolina Migrant Network is announcing a new merger that will take effect on Oct. 3, joining with Comunidad Colectiva, a local advocacy organization that was created in 2016 in response to the anti-immigrant rhetoric of that yearâs presidential election and the xenophobic policies of the Trump administration.
Having been involved with both organizations since their respective launches, Arteaga will be able to move into a full-time role with the newly expanded Carolina Migrant Network beginning Oct. 3 thanks to a grant from the Four Freedoms Fund.
She said her goal is to merge the missions of the two organizations, allowing Carolina Migrant Network to have access to Comunidad Colectivaâs comparatively larger discretionary fund so as to offer more legal representation while also becoming more involved in advocacy and activism efforts.
Arteaga estimated that Carolina Migrant Network provided legal services to more than 100
clients last year, and because most of those clients are the primary breadwinners for their families, the impact goes much further than them.
âThereâs a huge need and weâre the only organization that currently focuses on the population that is detained, that is low-income, people who already cannot even afford an attorney and would otherwise not be able to fight their cases,â Arteaga said.
Many of Carolina Migrant Networkâs clients get tied up in the immigration court system for years, including one such man whom CMN helped finally settle a case for in early September. He was originally arrested by ICE in 2020, a week before the first COVID lockdowns. Carolina Migrant Network was able to get a cancellation of removal for the man, so he is no longer at risk of deportation.
His case, however, was relatively quick, as some cases can take as long as 10 years, leaving entire families in limbo.
As of Oct. 3, Arteaga will begin a planning phase for the rebranding of Carolina Migrant Network, which will likely begin its rollout in early 2023.
âThe legal component part for now, weâre going to keep it the same, but I think the organizing piece that weâre trying to include and where weâre creating a space for people to take control of their situation by speaking out if they choose to â that is what weâre hoping to do with this merger is create a narrative change around the issue.â
Itâs the same narrative that OâNeill and Arteaga discussed on our podcast, they just plan to use their organization as a platform for folks caught up in the system to get a little louder about it now.
âAt the end of the day, everyone deserves a fighting chance regardless of their socioeconomic status,â Arteaga said. âSo I think thatâs what weâre trying to get out there; if we want to make Charlotte home for folks then we have to have the resources and create the space for them to thrive, and that includes expanding legal resources.â
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
STEFANIA ARTEAGA (TOP) AND BECCA OâNEILL, CO-FOUNDERS OF CAROLINA MIGRANT NETWORK.
PHOTOS COURTESY
Pg. 9 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM NEWS & OPINION UPDATE
OF CMN
A KINDRED SPIRIT
Georgie Nakima connects people, places and plants
BY PAT MORAN
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED FEBRUARY 26, 2020
Itâs not always about choosing one side of the brain or the other. The two can go hand-in-hand, as can be seen in the work of local muralist Georgie Nakima.
âI like to tell people that art is a science and science is an art,â Georgie Nakima says. The Charlotte-based artist and community organizer has drawn on her science background in creating colorful public art that can be seen throughout Charlotte, from the west side to NoDa, paintings that seamlessly fuse wildlife and the natural world with spiraling geometric shapes.
For Nakima there is scant difference between the organic and the mathematic.
âThings that we think [of as] different worlds are actually parallel and thereâs a line between them,â Nakima maintains. That line is math, she explains, a divine code which humans did not invent. âWe discovered it. Itâs the underlying force of how we exist. Itâs an invisible line of how weâre connected.â
Nakima extends that line of connection to encompass community and history with Kindred, her multidisciplinary public art project located in west Charlotteâs Biddleville neighborhood at Mechanics and Farmers Bank, Charlotteâs first minority-owned financial institution.
â[The project] brings artwork outside of art districts and directly into the communities that can truly use it,â Nakima explains.
Funded by the Knight Foundation through the Celebrate Charlotte Arts Grant, Kindred kicked off on Martin Luther King Jr. Day with a workshop featuring collages by local artist CHD:WCK!, at which he led a free immersive community experience.
At the core of the series is the concept of connecting, Nakima stresses. Being part of the Charlotte art community for many years, she kept encountering the barriers that divided and isolated
creators. Far too frequently, artists worked in silos, off doing their own thing.
âThatâs really what started Kindred,â she says. âIt is the first step in coming together and seeing our beauty and how dynamic we are.â
The January workshop also showcased an informal lecture by Johnathan Shepard about the evolution of the educational system in Charlotteâs Historic West End. West Charlotte had been home to many black schools and educators, Nakima says, but that changed when the color barrier was crossed.
While integration ushered in resources, it also inadvertently undermined the unifying force behind black communities. Communities that once focused on teaching and nurturing their own began to splinter.
âWe were learning about the resources of the West End and its legacy and how itâs changed,â Nakima says about the workshop, âand we were creating art around it.â
Befitting the location and topic covered by the inaugural event, history is an important part of Kindred. The workshop series is designed to pool local creatives under one umbrella, Nakima says, then connect those artists with historic AfricanAmerican communities to draw a through line from each neighborhoodâs past to its future.
The next Kindred event takes place at Johnson C. Smith Universityâs Arts Factory, a renovated building on West Trade Street less than half a mile from Mechanics and Farmers Bank. It will feature historian Maarifa Kweliâs lecture on the AfricanAmerican Diaspora and a face mask demonstration guided by artist Micaila Ayo Thomas.
It all happens for free on Feb. 29 [2020], or Leap Day, which thrills Nakimaâs inner math nerd.
âI thought itâs just a fun day because itâs rarely the 29th [of February],â she says laughing.
Further workshops under the Kindred banner will culminate in a community festival in April that will incorporate visual arts and dance workshops.
That same month, Kindred will present a workshop geared toward a subject dear to Nakimaâs heart: gardening and plant life.
Pursuing a degree in biology from WinstonSalem State University, where she also minored in chemistry, Nakima immediately grasped how biology was entwined with chemistry, and how mathematical constructs were ensconced in the
PHOTO BY JONATHAN COOPER
GEORGIE NAKIMA IN 2020.
Pg. 10 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM ARTS FEATURE
ARTS
FEATURE
plant world. Sheâs no stranger to fractals and sacred geometry. Not only does she understand the Fibonacci spiral, a logarithmic pattern found everywhere in nature and derived from a mathematical sequence where each number is the sum of the two numbers that precede it, she professes to love it.
The science of plants and gardening is inextricably entwined with Nakimaâs art, and her work has extended beyond conceptual gardens to real ones. Last July, she worked with children from the Rams Fitness Academy summer camp to create two murals at the Simonâs Green Acre community garden at the Enterprise Center in Winston-Salem.
Reinforcing the garden connection are Nakimaâs murals, which have appeared across Charlotte under the moniker Garden of Journey. The title is a kind of brand, Nakima explains. Since she didnât want her professional website to be bannered with just her first and last name, she devised a thought piece, a name that would explain what her work entailed.
Hence Garden of Journey. For the journey part, Nakima says she had broken out of societyâs successdriven rat race and decided that her life was a journey.
âThe garden part represents how diverse the ecosystem can be if we nourish it,â she explains. âWhen you think about it, Garden of Journey is pretty much a short poem.â
Given her affinity for gardens, plants and nature, Nakima is also a proponent of conservation and environmentalism, causes and concerns that appear in her artwork in the guise of wildlife like wolves, tigers and other big cats.
We live in a world in which weâre disconnected from nature and the consequences of our choices, she maintains. For example, we make trips to the grocery store unconcerned with the debilitating effects factory farming has on our land, livestock and water.
âWe need to get back to indigenous processes,â Nakima asserts, âfalling back in love with our land to nourish ourselves and our communities.â
With that thesis, she dovetails back to the lessons of history, coming full circle like the graceful curve of the Fibonacci spiral. The Historic West End boasts a rich agricultural history, she says. âIt was mainly farmland, which is ironic because now itâs a food desert.â
She hopes that one consequence of the Kindred events will be that people will patronize local businesses, including the nearby Rosa Parks Farmers
Market, and begin thinking more about what theyâre supporting with their money.
Nakimaâs own history has been a spiral dance with art ever since she was old enough to pick up a crayon. She started off with realistic paintings and drawings, but her fascination with biology, chemistry and calculus exerted a subconscious pull.
âWhen you think about the sciences, youâre always learning of the micro-layers that create existence,â she says.
Those layers started appearing in her work almost unbidden, as if she started creating ecosystems not entirely rooted in realism without consciously deciding to do so.
Afrofuturism, the art and literature movement that incorporates elements of black history and culture into science fiction, also contributed to her aesthetic. Nakima says she responds to the movementâs focus on resilience and the power to make positive change. That makes Afrofuturism more rooted in reality, she maintains, because everyone can relate to overcoming challenges.
âYou can even say Afrofuturism is in the present because itâs trending,â she says âItâs popping up a lot because people are ready for positive change.â
Collaboration has also exerted an influence on Nakimaâs artistic development. In 2018 she teamed with two other black women artists, Sloane Siobhan
and Janelle Dunlap, to create Manifest Future, an Afrofuturist mural at the site of the Rosa Parks Farmers Market at 1600 West Trade Street in west Charlotte.
The artists rallied neighborhood residents to come together at weekly painting parties where they could create, connect and foster a sense of community.
Perhaps her most high-profile piece is a mural she created last fall on the McCrorey YMCA basketball court, the result of a partnership with the NBA and Xbox during All-Star Weekend.
Both projects served as forerunners for the Historic West End awareness campaign and openhearted community building encompassed by Kindred. For her part, Nakima hopes to see more collaboration taking root in Charlotteâs art scene.
âObviously, we can all do our own things, but I think itâs good to come outside of yourself and connect with other people,â she says.
Nakima sees the communal process as humbling and grounding, a chance for artists to broaden the scope of their focus beyond self and their own creations. With Charlotteâs explosive growth in recent years, she feels that artists should ramp up their collaborative efforts so that the cityâs creative culture can grow.
At least, creatives should recognize that
collaboration will create more opportunities for artist.
âThereâs not a lot of room for us to be competitive and tear each other down,â she insists. âIâd rather use my energy to uplift people.â
Building community, breaking down barriers and inspiring neighbors are all on the docket for the Kindred workshops to come; recognizing Charlotteâs black development corridor as an important part of telling a peopleâs story, Nakima says, but also asking what that means for the people that are already there.
The flip side of this positivity is the pressure exerted by gentrification and displacement, she maintains, both of which cast a shadow over the Historic West End. Thatâs why she believes itâs important to include the existing West End community in the art spaces created by Kindred.
Nakima sees the process as creative storytelling, sharing a tale that demands to be heard.
âThe purpose is to let people know why this corridor is important,â she says. âThe idea is that art can unite a community and usher in empathetic spaces where neighbors can feel okay and be recognized.â
PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO COURTESY OF GEORGIE NAKIMA
PART OF NAKIMAâS WORK AT THE MCCROREY YMCA.
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Pg. 12 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
IN THE PUBLIC EYE
Celebrated muralist Georgie Nakima expands her palette
BY PAT MORAN
By 2020, muralist Georgie Nakima had created an impactful presence in Charlotte with colorful public art, which seamlessly fuses representations of Black women with the natural world and spiraling geometric shapes.
Nakimaâs work was set to branch out with Kindred, a community-focused public installation in west Charlotte that joined Nakimaâs mural work with workshops and art experiences where the public was invited to contribute. Queen City Nerve wrote about the project in late February 2020, then the COVID pandemic ground the process to a halt.
While Nakimaâs community installation was placed on pause, she personally continued to work along other tracks and take on new challenges, including sculpture, digital images and museum projects.
âIâm normally working on installations before an area even opens,â she explains. âI was still able to continue on my projects and stay busy.â
The often-solitary life of an artist, however, did not dissuade her from finding connection.
âTwenty-twenty was the year our eyes opened to what was around us,â Nakima says. âWe realized how integrated our lives truly were. We understood how important the arts were.â
Despite a worldwide slow down, Nakimaâs 2021 was marked by hustle and bustle â and a professional profile expanding beyond the Carolinas. She contributed her mural Alchemy at BLKOUT Walls Mural Festival in Detroit. A subsequent project took her to Rhode Island, resulting in âSalt Water,â a massive 4,000-square-foot mural depicting and balancing two Black Women.
â[âSalt Waterâ] is a reflection of the times,â Nakima says. âIt represents feminine energy, sisterhood and a bond of closeness.â
That year also marked the appearance of Nakimaâs first venture into three-dimensional art, a sculpture called âMwanzo,â a Swahili word that means new beginnings. The interactive piece, which suggests a diamond-shaped multi-hued chair, is a permanent installation at Charlotteâs East Town Market at the corner of North Sharon Amity and Milton roads.
Next, Nakima was invited to present an exhibit in The Discover District in Dallas, Texas. She assembled close to 20 pieces and called the collection âTo the Constellations of Ancestors That Live in Our Bones, Thank You.â The exhibit was also mounted at Charlotteâs Mint Museum in Uptown. There museum-goers could marvel at Nakimaâs cache of murals, kaleidoscopic shards of color that serve as immersive metaphors for her perspective on art and life.
Coinciding with the Constellation exhibit in Texas, Nakima says she was invited to contribute to Black Future Makers, an Afrofuturism-themed campaign for Black History Month 2022. For the digital project, Nakima worked with photos of 32 forward-facing Black luminaries, artists, creators, and shakers including herself, that were honored by the campaign. Nakima then integrated the portraits into a background. It was her first foray into the digital world.
âIt was definitively a big exercise to stretch my eye,â she says. âI considered myself very analog, but I think itâs important to break out of molds that we hold for ourselves, and to continue learning.â
Currently, Nakima is returning to Kindred, the public interactive art installation that was put on pause in 2020. The revived project culminates with a multidisciplinary festival called âCome as You Areâ at Atrium Health on Beatties Ford Road on Oct. 22.
Nakimaâs most high-profile current piece, however, is a mural entitled Earth Keeper that she created for the Harvey B. Gantt Center for AfricanAmerican Arts + Culture.
The circular portrait of a mysterious yet powerful Black woman flanked by geometric shapes sits above the museumâs grand lobby.
âThis is [the Ganttâs] first permanent mural installation,â Nakima says.
She hopes it will be the first of many, a further dissolving of the unnecessary barrier between street art and curated art.
âI think museums like the Mint and the Gantt are realizing that itâs important to involve whatâs happening around them, and right now Charlotte is
electrified by murals and public art.â
As Nakimaâs visibility increases, she promises to increase the visibility of Black women in her work.
âI want there to be a relatability, where people can see and understand themselves because they feel represented,â Nakima offers.
She vows to be a visual translator of our times
while finding new ways to present her vision.
âMy work is always going to change, but my why is going to remain the same,â Nakima says.
PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
ONE OF NAKIMAâS MURALS AT EAST TOWN MARKET.
Pg. 13 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM ARTS UPDATE
A LAUGHING STOCK
Brian OâNeil returns to the stage
BY DEZANII LEWIS
When we last spoke with Brian OâNeil in October 2019, he had recently launched a new comedy show, Revolt Comedy, which he hosted, featuring a rotating cast of amateur comedians.
We spoke about the momentum in the Charlotte comedy scene and Queen City Poly, a relationship podcast he was hosting about polyamory and ethical monogamy.
In the years since our last conversation, the pandemic altered much about our way of life. Restaurants transitioned to outdoor venues, concerts were held outdoors if they could be held at all, and many businesses closed completely. OâNeil, of course, was not exempt from these changes.
Options to perform comedy virtually were on the table, but they left much to be desired, OâNeil said. Virtual platforms created a lag between the jokes and the laughs.
âI really hate those shows,â he laughed. âBecause itâs very difficult to do stand-up and have to kind of wait three seconds to hear if someone laughs.â
If no one laughed, OâNeil couldnât be sure if it was because of the delay or because the joke hadnât landed. Because he couldnât perform traditionally, OâNeil decided to focus on writing instead.
He no longer hosts Revolt Comedy or any of his podcasts. In place of the monthly Revolt show, he started a new one in June 2021 called Stand-Up NoDa, a bi-monthly comedy show at Heist Brewery. The new show is more of a traditional stand-up event than Revolt was in that there is a structure, with an opener and a feature act.
âThat [Revolt Comedy] experience launched me into survival mode and motivated me to start a show that was more traditional,â he said.
Much like the rest of us, OâNeil has gone through a lot of changes, but there is one thing that has remained the same: his passion for the Charlotte comedy scene.
Around the country, things are starting to pick back up again. Venues are opening back up and larger group settings are possible now. Many of the venues and events that shut down during the years of the pandemic have returned. Thereâs a semblance
of normalcy even if we arenât quite there yet. OâNeil believes this to be indicative of things to come.
âWe were on the upswing before COVID,â he said, referring to the local comedy scene. âAnd once [COVID] happened we lost a lot of clubs and they never really recovered. But I think itâs picking back up.â
Charlotte still only has one dedicated comedy club, The Comedy Zone, but that hasnât stopped OâNeil and other artists from making a way where they can. Like OâNeil, other comics produce their own shows all across the city and state.
Many of these artists werenât part of the comedic scene previously, which he believes is important in the story of the sceneâs return. Newer comedians get inspired by the veteran comedians and decide to try their luck.
âAnd thatâs only been within the last six months or so,â he said. âI think weâve seen, just, a big boom since the pandemic. Itâs a win for Charlotte.â
Public events can still be precarious at times, however. This opens the doors for other avenues like TikTok or YouTube. Over the past few years, there has been a rise in successful TikTok stars trying their luck with stand-up. This is tricky, as TikTok and YouTube are vastly different mediums than stand-up comedy.
Ultimately, OâNeil believes they help more than they hurt, as comedy that goes viral online can drive attendance to public shows.
âI think anybody going out to see stand-up is a good thing,â he said.
You wonât find him on TikTok or YouTube any time soon, though. âThere is nothing I hate more than the thought of going on camera,â he said. âIâm starting to become more comfortable with the idea but if I could get a solid writing gig and then just tour during stand-up, I would be a happy comic.â
Aside from the pandemic, OâNeil said heâs been navigating experiences with âcancel culture,â a phenomenon thatâs either a plague on America or a myth created by those who want to dodge accountability, depending on whom you ask.
For OâNeil, the pushback against some of his content has been relatively minor.
âSometimes Iâll have jokes online that donât go over well,â he said. âIâve been blocked by a few people.â
He doesnât let negative reactions deter him and said he would never consider censoring himself, but he does hope his message about the therapeutic effects of comedy can get across to folks who think that making light of a bad situation is an affront to anyone who has dealt with that respective topic.
Cultivating a dark sense of humor, he regularly
ridicules his own mental-health issues and said his best jokes come from his deepest insecurities.
âIf it exists in the world then itâs not off the table,â he said of topics heâs willing to joke about.
Moving forward, OâNeil said his pandemic respite may have been the best thing for him, and while the future seems uncertain, OâNeil remains optimistic. Heâs in this game for the long haul.
âI donât ever plan on quitting,â he said.
INFO@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY NICOLE DRISCOLL
BRIAN OâNEIL ONSTAGE.
Pg. 15 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
ARTS UPDATE
THE HEAVY HEAVY
Despite their moniker, The Heavy Heavy plays with a light and confident touch. The Brighton, U.K., retro rock-inspired five-piece has laid siege to the American market with a national TV debut on CBS Saturday Morning and a memorable performance for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. With their single âMiles and Miles,â the band conjures the ebullient whiplash snap and spirit of melodic late â60s/early â70s rock with whirligig keyboards, the greatest country-twinged guitar riff since The Rolling Stonesâ âHappyâ and soaring harmonies that summon the laid-back swagger of Bare Treesâera Fleetwood Mac.
More: $20; Sept. 21, 9 p.m.; Recover Brands, 1518 Bryant St.; theheavyheavy.com
NATURE MORTE OPENING RECEPTION
The still life, a genre previously synonymous with 16th and 17th century Old Masters, has been imbued with contemporary resonance by Londonbased American multimedia artist Michael Petry. Petryâs book Nature Morte: Contemporary Artists Reinvigorate the Still Life Tradition inspires the exhibit of the same name, which brings together poignant, provocative re-imaginings of the traditional still life by more than 180 international contemporary artists. Both the book and the exhibition serve as memento mori â a reminder of the timeless themes of life, death and the irrevocable passing of time. The exhibit runs through Nov. 3 More: Free; Sept. 21, 5:30 p.m.; Rowe Galleries, UNC-Charlotte 9119 University Road; coaa.charlotte. edu
CROSSROADS CINEMA: âCOMING TO AMERICAâ
Considered a classic today, Coming to America was met with critical shrugs of indifference upon its release in 1988. Directed by John Landis after his scattershot Amazon Women on the Moon, Coming to America established star Eddie Murphy as a credible leading man. The fish-out-of-water plot, in which African prince Murphy travels to America to find the woman of his dreams, may be hackneyed, but who cares? Itâs there to support Murphy and costar Arsenio Hall, in various guises and disguises, engaging in inspired bits of comic interplay.
More: Free; Sept. 22, 8 p.m.; Ford Building, Camp North End, 1774 Statesville Ave.; camp.nc
THE ORANGE CONSTANT, DEAF ANDREWS, THE WRIGHT AVENUE
Five-piece Charlotte band Deaf Andrews draws on funk, blues, classic rock and indie, but the overriding throughline is pop thatâs light yet grounded, sophisticated but not sour. Jangling single âYellow Sandsâ harnesses a percussive prog-rock gallop to a bright and direct tune with underlying grit. âCalm and Collectedâ is a slice of sunny alt funk with a percolating bassline. Georgia-based The Orange Constant tills an Americana-tinged rock garden with 1970s AOR trimmings. Greensboroâs Wright Avenue fits everything from psych rock to Appalachian strings into supple grooves.
More: $10-$14; Sept. 24, 8 p.m.; Visulite Theatre, 1615 Elizabeth Ave.; visulite.com
KING PRINCESS
Born Mikaela Straus, King Princess is a former musical prodigy and current pop upstart. Her debut single â1950â is a soulful paean to gay love that also namechecks gay thriller writer Patricia Highsmith (The Talented Mr. Ripley). After releasing the unabashedly catchy single âPussy is God,â Straus delivered an urbane follow up LP Hold on Baby, which features increasingly flexible vocals over punchy indie rock that recalls The Strokes. Strausâs latest video spotlights Hold on Baby track âLet Us Die,â dedicated to late Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins, who played on the song.
More: $32 and up; Sept. 28, 8 p.m.; The Fillmore, 820 Hamilton St.; livenation.com
âEVIL DEAD: THE MUSICALâ
As hero Ash tears into zombie hordes with his trusty chainsaw, you may remember the title of a movie that is not one of Sam Raimiâs slapstick gore Evil Dead films: âThere will be blood.â Staged outdoors in MoRAâs haunted woods, ATCâs sanguinary Evil Dead extravaganza features a designated splatter zone that puts you in the middle of the arterial spray. (Free poncho included with admission.) The showâs book and lyrics by George Reinblatt embrace the campy elements already present in Raimiâs masterpieces. The first night of the production is âpay what you canâ night. Sadly, it was announced shortly before this issue went to print that this run of Evil Dead will be the last production from Actorâs Theatre of Charlotte before they shut down for good.
More: Sept. 29âOct. 30; The Barn at MoRA, N. 8300 Monroe Road; atcharlotte.org
âEVIL DEAD: THE MUSICALâ Courtesy photo
Pg. 16SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM THUR WED SAT WEDONGOING WED 9/22 9/21 9/24 9/28 9/29 - 10/30 THE HEAVY HEAVY Promotional photo 9/21
9/29-10/30
9/21
BROOKLYN, CHARLOTTE, NC
Courtesy of Blumenthal Arts 9/29-10/8
BROOKLYN: THE COLLECTIVE MEMORY
Amid the shock of the new in Charlotteâs Second Ward, we tread respectfully among ghosts. Brooklyn, a tightly knit self-sustainable city within a city, was eviscerated and demolished in the 1960s and 70s in the name of so-called urban renewal. The awareness of what we lost in the gutting of a once vibrant Black community informs the Collective Memory project, which commemorates and celebrates Brooklyn. The interactive experience immerses us in the history of the once flourishing neighborhood through life-size portraits, archival books and documented videos of former residents sharing their stories.
More: $5; Sept. 29âOct. 8; Studio 229, 229 S. Brevard St.; blumenthalarts.org
FRI 9/30
LITTLE JESUS, DIVINO NINO, PIERI
An evening of alt-Latin music features reinvention poster child Divino Niño. In 2019 the Chicago-viaBogotå band was playing English-sung mid-tempo rock songs based on practice room jams. While on tour they jettisoned their alt-pop template to embrace a rhythmic path that led to their breakthrough LP Last Spa on Earth. Enfolding reggaeton, electropop and trap, the group forges a dynamic Spanish-language soundscape that addresses the release and catharsis that comes from confronting your darkest moments.
Mexico City indie combo Little Jesus and Brooklynbased Mexican rapper Pieri round out the bill.
More: $19.30; Sept. 30, 9:30 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com
SATSAT
ONGOING 9/29 - 10/8 10/1 10/1
LUMINARIUM PHOTO WALK WITH THE LIGHT FACTORY
This community workshop is a photo walk/ collaboration with The Light Factory, Charlotteâs top photography institution for 50 years and counting. Hosted by Carey J. King, this walk gives photographers the chance to develop new skills and get help along the way. What makes it different from other photo walks is its phantasmagoric setting. Shutterbugs are encouraged to capture models in eccentric costumes inside a vibrant luminarium. There will be multiple models to choose from, and the walk is open to photographers of all levels and ages. Any image-making devices, including phones, are welcome.
More: $20; Oct. 1, 9:30 a.m.; Ballantyneâs Backyard, 11611 N. Community House Road; blumenthalarts.org
I AM QUEEN CHARLOTTE
Poet playwright and storyteller Hannah Hassan is a story collector as well. This last talent came to fruition as a book project titled I Am Queen Charlotte, developed by Hassanâs storytelling duo Epoch Tribe. The book, which collects the intimate and intricate tales of 50 Black women from Charlotte, has evolved into a stage play which ran as part of Queen Charlotte Week last March. Mixing dance, music and performance, the show returns in 2022 with a nod to the cityâs namesake, Queen Charlotte, who some historians posit was a Black or mixed-race woman.
More: $19.50 and up; Oct. 1, 8 p.m.; Knight Theater, 430 S. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org
DIVINO NINO
Photo by Matt Allen 9/30
Pg. 17SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
LUMINARIUM Courtesy of Blumenthal Arts 10/1
I AM QUEEN CHARLOTTE Promotional photo 10/1
BY RYAN PITKIN
It took five years for Shauna Respass to fully realize she needed to get out.
Respass had been living in an abusive relationship in Kansas City, Missouri, from the time she was 19 years old until she was nearing 24, then one day she made a decision that would not only free her up to pursue her music career, but most likely saved her life.
âIt took for me to realize that he would probably kill me and end up killing himself or something, not even meaning to do it necessarily,â says Respass. âSo I had to really realize: Do I want to hold on to the hope of us being together or my life? And I just had to choose my life.â
One day in February 2018, Respass left home like she was going to work, but instead drove to Charlotte, where her family had moved in 2015. She brought two outfits and her dog, leaving everything else behind.
By March of that year, she was writing music again, then began performing as ReeCee Raps, or ReeCee for short. By the end of the year, she had earned the Queen City Award for Best Female Hip Hop Artist. Sheâs nominated for a Carolina Music Award in 2019.
Before May ends, ReeCee Raps will perform at Speed Street in Uptown, the Carefree Black Girl Cookout in north Charlotte, the Vegan Soul-Full Fest at Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts near Camp North End, The Vaudeville Show at Snug Harbor in Plaza Midwood and host a new bi-monthly open mic with her live band at the new Burgerim in University City. We caught up with Respass during a respite between her busy schedule of shows â a schedule she says she keeps full to make up for those lost years in Kansas City.
Queen City Nerve: How did you become interested in making music?
ReeCee Raps: I started out very young, like 4 years old, performing. My granddad had a group called The Unspeakables. We went around Pittsburgh, I was the youngest member, we had all types of shows. I used to lip sync oldies and Patti LaBelle songs and Alvin and the Chipmunks, up until
when I left Pittsburgh when I was about 12 or 13.
After that I used to want to sing, and then I went through puberty and I was like, âI lost my singing voice, I canât sing no more!â I wrote poetry on and off, but I didnât start rapping until I was maybe about 18 in college. I used to play around and freestyle, and then I was like, âLet me actually write stuff down.â So I started a YouTube channel when I was about 19. I would just rap lilâ verses, I wouldnât actually write songs.
I met my ex maybe like four months after I started rapping, and then he was a rapper too, so he didnât want me rapping because he was a rapper. So I took down my YouTube channel, I made all my videos private and everything, I didnât do anything for four years. I wrote probably two songs over that four years. I didnât know I still had the ability to write because it was so new, and then I kind of just dropped off of it for four years. Once I exited the relationship, I wrote like 13 songs in a couple months. I was venting through my music.
What was that finally convinced you to leave?
For me, a lot of the reason why I stayed was
because I thought it would get better and I didnât have an experience of being an adult on my own. I moved straight from my parents house in with my ex, so I really didnât know what the world was like at all. I didnât know what it would be like, I was scared. That was my identity â my relationship â and it wasnât bad all the time, so you think it gets better, but it keeps happening. Really it took for me to realize that he would probably kill me and end up killing himself or something, not even meaning to do it necessarily, so I had to really realize: Do I want to hold on to the hope of us being together or my life? And I just had to choose my life.
How would you describe your style now?
I make feel-good music, and itâs very original. You donât hear nothing like it, because even though I listen to all this different music, I really look within. Itâs just me and the beat and whatever Iâm inspired to write, Iâll write it. Really a lot of it is inspired by experience. Iâm really venting. Iâm not trying to talk to people a lot about what I may be going through.
I was in an abusive relationship, but I didnât say anything to anybody. Everybody thought we were a power couple. My music is very raw.
PHOTO BY ANDREA ELIZABETH/RAW CHARLOTTE
Pg. 18 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM MUSIC FEATURE
PULLING NO PUNCHES ReeCee Raps builds budding career, stomps out domestic violence
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED MAY 23, 2019 REECEE RAPS PREFERS PERFORMING WITH A LIVE BAND.
MUSIC FEATURE
From smoking songs to relationships, you can hear those experiential themes in your music. How do you go about that writing process?
I like to write to beats. The beat really usually comes first, and then I just form whatever mood the beat my come with, I just kind of run with it. Whatever the beat inspires me to write, it will be from experience, usually something that I recently went through or something like that.
So youâre not the type to let it marinate in your mind for a while?
No, I really be venting. I enjoy it. It really gives me purpose, where I felt like I didnât have talent before. I used to be jealous of my siblings just because they knew what they wanted to do, but it was just me stifling myself from what I always knew I had from the beginning. You let society hold you back from what you really want to do because you look at statistics, you look at averages, but youâre really not average.
Not a lot of local rappers play with a live band like you do. How did that come about?
The reason I made the band, we did a RAW Charlotte show at The Fillmore back in February and I assembled a band just because I was like, âI perform every day already and I gotta sell these tickets.â Iâm like, âHow am I going to sell something to people when theyâre like, âWe just seen you yesterday.ââ So this isnât just me, I want to sell an experience, give you a reason to come out, put on an actual show.
Once I started playing with the band, I realized this is a-whole-nother level. Itâs going to set me so far apart. And some people donât even have the music to vibe with a band, but they elevated my music so much, so it is very important for me to have my band out whenever itâs worth it for them. Iâm hosting an open mic starting on May 31st in University at Burger IM, every other Friday, and the bandâs going to be there and Iâm giving other people the experience to play with a band for the first time. A lot of these people have never played with a band. Not everybody really has that experience to do that, and I didnât really know how to go about it either, but it all fell into place.
You mentioned that youâre out performing damn near every day. Have you always had that hustle?
What it really was is that I performed for the first time in my adult life at Red @ 28th (in University City) for their open mic Wednesday. Once I did that, I felt like I wasted so much time, because I started rapping like five years ago, so I was like, âI have to make up for lost time. If I can lose count of how many performances Iâve done, Iâll be a more experienced performer quicker,â and so within like three to four months I had performed over 100 times in Charlotte and Atlanta, and thatâs how people knew who I was in such a little bit of time.
It was just a drive, I forgot how much I really loved it from when I was a child. I thought that was just a childish thing, but it really wasnât, that was instilled in me. Iâve always been a performer, but I was letting the world stop me from being who I wanted to be, and I let my relationship. I was shot down so many times; everything I wanted to do I was shot down, and I didnât understand why I was living life that way.
Youâve dove in head-first since then. How has Charlotteâs scene embraced you?
I love it. Charlotte shows a lot of love, they really have embraced me. I won the Q.C. Award last year and I hadnât even been doing it for a full year. Thereâs a lot of talent in Charlotte, and I see the growth, I see where Charlotte can be, and thatâs why I want to be a part of it, and thatâs why this open mic is very important to me because I want to see more spots like the Red @ 28th on Wednesdays, I want to see more stuff like that. Some of the scenes are not really my scenes, but I was willing to go to any type of scene to get my name out there.
Charlotte is a small market but itâs huge at the same time and itâs growing constantly, so thereâs a lot of people that know me, thereâs a lot of people that donât. I just feel like thereâs a lot of talent out here and Charlotte, in the next five years, is really gonna be really dope. You can really get your hand in right now and be a pillar in Charlotte if you make the right moves.
Youâre not only performing at the Soulfull Vegan Fest on Sunday, youâre listed as a speaker addressing domestic violence. Is that something you want to do more of as you build your rap career?
Me and my friend [Dandrea Kennedy] with the Rap Plug, weâre collaborating to do some Stop the Violence events incorporating violence on the streets with domestic violence, so Iâm going to be looking for sponsors who want to help out with the nonprofit that we want to do. I know multiple
REECEE RAPS IN 2019
people Iâve helped out of this situation personally, and I know if I spoke about it more and really advocated for it, we could go around to the high schools and colleges and really get people at that age where they can see the signs and talk about the beginning, middle and end.
A lot of it is insecurities within ourselves as people, to even allow ourselves to be treated that way. A lot of people have been through it and we
donât talk about it. I donât feel like the statistics are right where they say one in three, I think itâs closer to two in three people have been through that, so I feel like we need to talk about it more and a lot of people are ashamed, and itâs nothing to be ashamed about.
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY ANDREA ELIZABETH/RAW CHARLOTTE
Pg. 19 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
ReeCee Does It
BY RYAN PITKIN
When I catch up with Shauna Respass, aka ReeCee Raps, for a Sunday afternoon phone call, her voice is in and out. Itâs not due to bad reception, itâs her literal voice, strained as the result of backto-back shows in Durham and Charlotte over the weekend.
Itâs all in a weekâs work for ReeCee Raps.
âI think what has gotten me more respect than my talent a lot of times is my work ethic,â she tells me before referring back to our Q&A in 2019. âI havenât really stopped since I spoke with yâall last. I havenât stopped. I stay moving, I stay doing shows, and everything comes in time.â
But donât get it twisted: as driven as she is, ReeCee Raps is talented too, and she doesnât shy away from that either.
It doesnât sound conceited when she tells me later, âI really feel like everything I do is great.â
She should feel that way, because itâs never never far from mind that life wasnât always so great. Respass moved to Charlotte in 2018 after fleeing from an abusive relationship.
Now as the rapper and singer continues to grow her name, she wants to use that spotlight as a leader in the domestic violence field, educating folks on how to spot the red flags while helping survivors escape dangerous situations.
October will mark one year since she launched DOAP Events, through which she curates hip-hop shows and open mics.
And while past DOAP events have benefited Heal Charlotte to fund the work that organization does with survivors of domestic violence, in the organizationâs second year she hopes to host events that focus fully on domestic violence awareness and education.
âI do want to bring it to colleges and high schools, where I can curate a whole thing with the beginning, middle, and end of the domestic violence relationship situations, like the aftermath, because itâs easier to continue being in that situation
than it is to get out a lot of times,â Respass told me.
In 2018, Respass made a tough decision that she believes saved her life, leaving her home in Kansas City, Missouri, and driving to Charlotte, where her family had moved in 2015.
She brought two outfits and her dog, leaving everything else behind.
âIâm just really excited about giving back,â she continued, âbecause I know that if I would have known the signs before going into that, I probably would have never even got into that situation.â
Even as she plans to step back a bit to focus on domestic violence work, that doesnât mean sheâs putting her music career on the back burner.
ReeCee Raps has gained momentum in Charlotte and elsewhere over the past three years, performing around the state and in northeastern locales from New York to Maine.
Over the summer she received a Creative Fellowship grant from the Arts & Science Council, which went to recording and rolling out her upcoming album, Queen of Hearts. On the project, ReeCee focuses more on her singing than her rapping, a big change for her, but her emcee days are not behind her.
On Jan. 1 she will drop a new mixtape of raps over beats by the late J Dilla.
âItâs very introspective, itâs very close to my heart, so Iâm really excited about doing that for the people that really love old-school hip-hop styles, boom-bap styles,â she explains.
The mixtape will be available for free download on her website, followed by the release of Queen of Hearts shortly after on all streaming platforms.
And with that, sheâll ensure that 2023 will be another big year for ReeCee Raps, and the only sure bet after that is this: she wonât be slowing down anytime soon.
ReeCee Raps shifts her focus and her sound but not her work ethic
PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN
Pg. 20 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM MUSIC UPDATE
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
REECEE RAPS IN 2022.
ON THE GRINDHAUS
Charlotte producer Jason Jet takes artists under his wing
BY PAT MORAN
Back in 2010, soulful R&B artist Jason Jet released his debut album Love Boulevard. The collectionâs title tune tethered Afrofuturismâs digital pulse to smooth pop and the organic heartbeat of gospel, and in the process, Jet invented the nu soul genre.
No one has credited him with this, of course. When Queen City Nerve tells Jet we think heâs the father of nu soul, he simply chuckles good-naturedly. Today the inspired songwriter, in-demand producer and GrindHaus studio owner is focused on his role as educator and mentor for Charlotteâs young musicians.
On Sept. 24, Jet is teaming with his close friend and Season 12 American Idol alumni Will White to launch A Night with Iconic Youth, an event at the Visual Arts and Performing Arts Center in Uptown
Charlotte.
âWeâre coming together to celebrate these kids and their families,â Jet says.
The kids in question have gone through the 36-year-old musical polymathâs Young Icons program, a summer camp series he launched in 2017 to mentor Charlotte youth and teach them how to create music and write songs. Although itâs curated by educational nonprofit Young Icons, the event at VAPA will be a primarily invitation-only celebration for the summer camp graduates and their families, Jet says. Heâs even rented out a limo to drop them off for a red-carpet walk.
âIt will be a great immersive musical experience,â Jet says. Speakers like Mecklenburg County Commissioner Mark Jerrell are scheduled to attend and guest star Nige Hood will MC the event. Songs
that the campers wrote and recorded in Young Icons camp will be showcased as well.
After years of hard work, success came to Jet after the release of Love Boulevard. He opened for R&B legend Anthony Hamilton at the Fillmore Charlotte, garnered Best New R&B artist at the Carolina Music Awards, and moved to New York to pursue his career. In New York, Jet met Charlotte native White, who was working in the cityâs fashion scene as well as pursuing music.
Flash forward to 2017, when Jet launched Young Icons in Charlotte. He recruited White, also recently relocated to Charlotte, as a camp coach. White then became a partner as the camp moved into its first year. Jet characterizes the first two years of summer camps as a series of beta tests to see how well the program would work. At first, Jet and White offered the camp to middle-class kids, some of whom Jet knew through his side gig as a music tutor. After going dormant for two years due to the COVID pandemic, Young Icons came back last year as a newly formed nonprofit catering to the cityâs underserved children.
âWeâre providing platforms for kids that would not normally get this [training],â Jet says âWe want to just shower them with love. This is larger than music. This is an experience that weâre giving kids to
really own their creative gifts and talents.â
In the meantime, Jet opened GrindHaus Studios in December 2020. Inspired by co-working spaces, GrindHaus rents studio space to musicians at reasonable rates. In addition, Jet has recorded artists like Fantasia, R&B crooner Dexter Jordan and Anthony Hamilton at the facility. (Jet has spent much of the past year touring with Hamilton, as a front-of-house sound engineer)
A year later, Jet expanded the successful studio to a 7,000-square-foot space at VAPA where GrindHaus could host events. Jet, however, has decided to leave the studioâs space at VAPA so he can turn more of his attention to what he calls âthe mothership,â the original GrindHaus location on Latrobe Drive. Heâs also begun work on some new solo material.
âIâve already started shooting some music videos, 2023 is going to be a big roll out.â In the meantime, Jet puts the finishing touches on A Night with Iconic Youth, an event he deems necessary.
âThere are not too many programs that [show] appreciation for young talent,â Jet says. âA lot of [the children] know theyâre valued with Young Icons, and that we see their greatness. Thatâs the biggest takeaway. Thatâs the why behind it all.â
PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM
A LOCAL MUSICIAN COOKING IN THE GRINDHAUS
PHOTO BY ANDRE AMPEAR
Pg. 21 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM MUSIC UPDATE
LAB.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Mom Jeans w/ Free Throw, Just Friends, Small Crush (Amosâ Southend)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Jackie Bristow w/ Rick Price (Evening Muse)
Ross Adams w/ Jason Moss & The Hosses (Snug Harbor)
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B
Sueco (Neighborhood Theatre)
$uicideboy$ (PNC Music Pavilion)
Mary J. Blige (Spectrum Center)
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 22
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Matt Maeson (The Underground)
Dial Drive w/ Louzy, Oh! You Pretty Things, Jackson Fig (The Milestone)
JAZZ/BLUES
The Jason Marsalis Quartet (Middle C Jazz)
The Soul Rebels w/ Big Freedia (Neighborhood Theatre)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Carolina Songwriters in the Round feat. Tracy Simpson (Petraâs)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Sirsy w/ Minkâs Miracle Medicine (Evening Muse)
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)
Seismic Sutra w/ Rugg, Sutra, Caffeine Daydream (The Milestone)
Forrest Isnât Dead w/ Tayls with Jordyn Zaino (Petraâs)
Are You In? (Incubus tribute) w/ Sugar (System of a Down tribute) (Amosâ Southend)
JAZZ/BLUES
September in the Park (Earth, Wind & Fire tribute) (Middle C Jazz)
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B
Mercury Carterâs Birthday Concert feat. Nia J (Evening Muse)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Nate Randall (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Gryffin (CMCU Amphitheatre)
Hotspot (Heist Brewery - NoDa)
Sexbruise? w/ Minka (Visulite Theatre)
CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL
Takénobu w/ Anders Johanson (Evening Muse)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Cam (Neighborhood Theatre)
PERFORMATIVE
Rocky Horror Music Show (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)
FUNK/JAM BANDS
Eternally Grateful (Grateful Dead tribute) (Primal Brewery)
LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
Monsoon w/ The Pinkerton Raid (Snug Harbor)
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 24
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Four Year Strong w/ Microwave, save face (AmosâSouthend)
Mega Mango w/ CYAN (Evening Muse)
Movements (The Underground)
Summonerâs Circle w/ Paezor, Hylic, Angel Massacre (The Milestone)
Whistler w/ Creature Comfort, Siege Hardee (Petraâs)
The Orange Constant w/ Deaf Andrews, The Wright Avenue (Visulite Theatre)
JAZZ/BLUES
Platinum on the Sax (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Chase McDaniel (Coyote Joeâs)
Zac Brown Band (PNC Music Pavilion)
FUNK/JAM BANDS
Nibiru (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Partial Nerdity Cosplay Ball (SERJ)
Deep Fried Disco (Snug Harbor)
URLTVâs Summer Madness 12 (World Nightclub)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Claiborne Williams (Primal Brewery) LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
Buena Vista Legacy Band (Middle C Jazz)
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 25
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Silverwoods Band (Comet Grill)
The Ries Brothers w/ Honey Hounds (Evening Muse)
One OK Rock (The Underground)
David Gibson (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)
Teens in Trouble w/ Wolvesx4, The Bleeps, Neptune Flyer (The Milestone)
Wilderado w/ Husbands (Neighborhood Theatre)
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B
Gospel Sunday Tribute to Whitney Houston feat. Kelsey D. (Middle C Jazz)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Minty Fresh World Music Party (Mint MuseumUptown)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Tosco Music Pary International (Knight Theater)
Elora Dash (Primal Brewery)
PHOTO BY JIM GREENHILL
THE
Pg. 22 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
ZAC BROWN BAND PERFORMS SATURDAY, SEPT. 24, AT PNC MUSIC PAVILION.
OPEN MIC
Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Wayne Willingham (Evening Muse)
LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
Celtic Session w/ Alan Davis & Friends (Tommyâs Pub)
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Deserta (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)
Shinedown (PNC Music Pavilion)
JAZZ/BLUES
The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petraâs)
Patt Mostle Jazz Session (Tommyâs Pub)
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Molotov Ball feat. Danny Blu, Tzafu, Solemn Shapes (The Milestone)
Original Jazz Night Featuring: DJAM Collective (Visulite Theatre)
Koch-Marshall Trio (Neighborhood Theatre)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Lost Cargo: Tiki Social Party (Petraâs)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Influences & Originals feat. Douglass Thompson, Rob McHale, Paul Lover (Tommyâs Pub)
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Back To Yours w/ The Thing With Feathers with Jonah Ward (Evening Muse)
Cycles (Neighborhood Theatre)
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B
East Rich (Evening Muse)
Tiwa Savage (World Nightclub)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Fall Fest feat. Story Charlemagne, Matt Walsh, Crystal Fountains (Primal Brewery)
Josiah Johnson w/ Landon Elliott (Evening Muse)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Lady Alma (Booth Playhouse)
Monolink (The Underground)
So We Heard You Like Dubstep: Halloween Edition (SERJ)
COLLABORATIVE/EXPERIMENTAL
Your Neighborhood Orchestra: Lost in Space (Booth Playhouse)
LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
VS Guitar Duo & Friends (Stage Door Theater)
FUNK/JAM BANDS
PYLETRIBE (Smokey Joeâs Cafe & Bar)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
King Princess (The Fillmore)
Ashlyn Uribe w/ Indigo Jo, Kadey Ballard (Snug Harbor)
LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
Arturo OâFarill and the Afro-Latin Jazz Ensemble (Knight Theater)
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 29
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Cosmic Reaper w/ Abysall Frost, Doomsday Profit, Holyroller (The Milestone)
Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers w/ Zac Wilkerson (Neighborhood Theatre)
Rebekah Todd w/ Taylor Winchester (Petraâs)
Rickshaw Billieâs Burger Patrol w/ Hellfire Choir, Dumpster Service Van Jam (Tommyâs Pub)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
The Wood Brothers (Knight Theater)
Kat Jam feat. Carly Pearce, Matt Stell, Kameron
Marlowe, Jackson Dean (Coyote Joeâs)
The Bones of J.R. Jones (Evening Muse)
JAZZ/BLUES
Yellowjackets (Middle C Jazz)
LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
VS Guitar Duo & Friends (Stage Door Theater)
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Terrance Simien and the Zydeco Experience w/ Rosie Ledet (Stage Door Theater)
Highly Suspect (The Fillmore)
Keith Serpa (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)
The Holy Ghost Tabernacle Choir w/ Sins of Godless Men, Raatma, Rotting in Dirt (The Milestone)
Sometime in February w/ GILT, Newgrounds Death Rugby, ICH (Petraâs)
Little Jesus w/ Divino Nino, Pieri (Snug Harbor)
Salty Dog w/ Deep Water, Medicine Crow, Chris Tharp (Tommyâs Pub)
The Menders w/ GoGo Pilot, The Penitentials (Visulite Theatre)
Ride the Lightning (Metallica tribute) (Amosâ Southend)
Slippery When We JAZZ/BLUES
Lori Williams (Middle C Jazz)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Ivan & Alyosha w/ Evan Bartels (Neighborhood Theatre)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Ian Munsik (Coyote Joeâs)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Matt Bush (Primal Brewery)
LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
VS Guitar Duo & Friends (Stage Door Theater)
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 1 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
COIN (The Fillmore)
Blackwater Drowning w/ Detest the Throne, Black River rebels, Spiral Fracture (The Milestone)
Vista KIcks (Neighborhood Theatre)
Slumberer w/ Wreath, Sam Abyl (Petraâs)
Captured! By Robots w/ Telepathetics, Spite House (Snug Harbor)
Jeremyâs 10 (Pearl Jam tribute) (Amosâ Southend)
Same As It Ever Was (Talking Heads tribute) (Visulite Theatre)
JAZZ/BLUES
Brian Simpson (Middle C Jazz)
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 2
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B
Monica w/ Tevin Campbell, Tamar Braxton (Spectrum Center)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Chris Canterbury (Evening Muse)
JAZZ/BLUES
CLT Blues Society: Blues Competition (Neighborhood Theatre)
MONDAY, OCTOBER 3
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Barns Courtney (The Underground)
Rundown Kreeps w/ Troubleshoot, XBound, Jackson Fig (The Milestone)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Release the Pressure (Crown Station)
Peach Pit (The Fillmore)
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 4
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Gentlemanâs Crow w/ Tongues of Fire, Hellfire Choir, Dead Senate (The Milestone)
The Melvins w/ We Are The Asteroid (Visulute Theatre)
Alice in Chains w/ Breaking Benjamin, Bush (PNC Music Pavilion)
LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
Dave East (The Underground)
VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.
PHOTO BY MUSIC ENTROPY
MARY J. BLIGE WILL PERFORM AT THE SPECTRUM CENTER ON WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 21.
Pg. 23 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
WATCH IT GROW
Bernard Singleton continues cultivating Bennu Gardens with new moringa project
BY RYAN PITKIN
As Bernard Singleton stood in his garden in the parking lot of Savona Mill in west Charlotte on one of the first days of spring, he looked around at the growth happening all around him.
Plants that would eventually become onions, cabbages, spring peas and cauliflower peaked through the dirt in one bed, built by neighborhood kids who were court-ordered to help Singleton with his garden â though many of them stayed well after their community service was over. In another bed, oregano, parsley and sage began to sprout. A few feet over, empty vines awaited the annual return of blackberries. Blueberries and raspberries would soon appear on the nearby bushes.
Later, the conversation turned to a different type of growth thatâs been happening all around Singleton and the properties where he runs Bennu Gardens, an urban gardening project he launched in 2014 and has since expanded into three locations. Just over the fence from Savona Mill, Blue Blaze Brewing has been in operation since 2016. Enderly Coffee Co. opened last year just a short walk down the street.
Singleton isnât upset about either business showing up in his neighborhood, but he knows what they signify: gentrification.
âYou know when you get a brewery and coffee shop, itâs over,â Singleton said, laughing at my question about the ongoing change.
Savona Mill itself â once a paper mill that served as the beating heart of the Seversville neighborhood â may currently look abandoned, but it will eventually be renovated into a mixed-use district consisting of retail, office and residential space.
But Singleton isnât interested in playing the victim or giving in to displacement. He sees the coming change as another opportunity to adapt.
âWe know the community is changing, but weâre working to educate people to be a part of
the change,â Singleton said. âIf you can become a stakeholder in the community, you can be part of the change. Change is not always a bad thing. Thereâs not a level playing field, we all donât get the same opportunities, but if you be creative and utilize some of those niches, weâve been able to survive, and as this project developed, what we brought to the project, we will be here when this is developed.â
Over the last year, Singleton has been focused on developing Bennu Gardensâ new 11-acre
Nebedaye Farms in Indian Trail, a property he leases from the Carolina Farm Trust. There he plans to build a processing plant and other infrastructure to help create jobs and turn Bennu Gardens into a profitable business by harvesting moringa, a superfood grown in Africa and Asia that Singleton has been learning to grow successfully in Charlotte over the last two years.
The Nebedaye Farms Moringa Project is just the latest example of Singletonâs resilience and adaptability in the face of tragedy, displacement and unforeseen change.
Singleton launched Bennu Gardens as a nonprofit four years after the unexpected passing of his son, Caesar Singleton. Caesar had already been enrolled in college, developing programs for at-risk youth and working on projects about how to grow food on Mars when he passed away at 15 years old.
According to Bernard, Caesar died of a freak accident called âdry drowning,â which was more than likely a delayed drowning, in which water gets into a personâs lungs but does not affect them until hours or even days later.
Bernard told a story about how his son had
suddenly become very interested in meeting his ancestors before his passing. He took Caesar to the cemetery, which his family refers to as âthe garden of our ancestors.â
âHe went and introduced himself to everyone in the cemetery and he was like, âDad, this is where I want to be,â and two weeks later his ass was there,â Bernard said. âHe just thought the power of his ancestors was so intriguing and so great that he laid down and he didnât wake up.â
Bernard, whose family hails from Senegal, does not view his sonâs passing as a death but as a transition.
âItâs almost like it was a spiritual calling, like in Africa,â Bernard said. âHe comes here to start something and heâs only destined to be here for a short time. He was way ahead of his time. He knew physics, mathematics and science and growing and life. He was a powerful being. Heâs even a more powerful ancestor right now, truly helping us out.â
Bernard learned everything he knew about gardening from Caesar, and said it was his son that eventually guided him to start Bennu Gardens. But it didnât happen overnight.
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
BERNARD SINGLETON AT HIS ORIGINAL BENNU GARDENS LOCATION IN 2019.
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FOOD & DRINK FEATURE
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED APRIL 10, 2019
After moving to Charlotte in 2011 with his daughter, Singleton struggled to find a home. After one potential apartment fell through, the two turned a unit at NoDa Storage into a studio apartment and lived there until they were able to find more appropriate housing. They eventually found themselves on the West End, where Singleton began to spread his knowledge of urban gardening. He started with two raised beds at the Carole Hoefner Center in Uptown, planted with seeds Singleton purchased with food stamps.
Later, Greg Jarrell at the Queen City Family Tree offered him a lot to use on Tuckaseegee Road in west Charlotte, which eventually led to acquiring a larger garden a few blocks down at Tuckaseegee and Glenwood Drive, which Singleton still runs along with the Savona Mill location.
Singleton and his team of volunteers plant year-round as the weather permits, and during the spring and summer host farmers markets for the community to pick food for themselves free of charge.
For Singleton, Bennu helps push back against the myth of food deserts, which he sees as a false narrative based on victimhood.
âWeâre trying to use a different approach to food insecurity; we teach food sovereignty. You can grow anywhere. We never live in a food desert. We live in food forests if we learn how to grow food. You can grow food anywhere,â Singleton said, motioning to the mill parking lot he was standing in. âThis was concrete and weeds. Does it look like concrete and weeds anymore? No. We create food forests. We donât worry about the negative. We look at ways of seeing how we can turn it into a positive.â
Now Singleton has his eyes on growing an actual forest of moringa. The African-Asian plant known for its healing properties and countless culinary uses is usually farmed in more tropical climates. Singleton researched and experimented with moringa in Charlotte for two years. Last year, he was able to grow 25-foot-long moringa trees in just five months at his Savona location. He plans to make it the centerpiece of Nebedaye Farms.
Singleton, who has funded Bennu Gardens himself for five years, hopes moringa will be a turning point for the project.
âThe thing about the Moringa Project is itâs a high-value, in-demand crop and it grew out of the west side of Charlotte,â Singleton said. âWeâve been able to grow here and create an industry around it
at two levels; born, bred, researched and created from people in the community. Itâs a multi-milliondollar-a-year business, so we plan to do very well with it this year. But this is a grassroots operation that came out of a so-called food desert.â
Moringa serves a larger purpose than sustenance and potential profit, as Singleton has learned. With its roots in countries that are homelands to countless Charlotte-area immigrants, moringa has brought a newfound diversity to Bennu Gardens markets.
âItâs such a powerful plant, how it brings so many cultures and people together. Thatâs one of the most important and most beautiful things out of it. Thatâs something that you donât see where we live on Tuckaseegee; you donât have this diverse population coming to the so-called âhood to shop,â Singleton said, laughing. âPeople come and they havenât seen their country for years, they get all emotional. Just with that one crop alone, it tells such a story, diversity-wise, economic empowermentwise, health and wellness-wise.â
Bennu Gardensâ dedication to health and wellness doesnât stop at with food. While Singleton will be focused on building up Nebedaye Farms in the coming year, a young partner of his named Brandon Ruiz will be implementing his own project at Bennuâs Tuckaseegee Road garden: an herbal pharmacy aimed at helping community members treat and prevent maladies through alternative, natural medicine.
Ruiz, now 21, became interested in gardening through one of his teachers at Mallard Creek High School who grew wheatgrass in the classroom. He began growing his own food, which eventually led him to herbalism.
While Singleton works on the farm in Indian Trail, Ruiz will be cultivating an Afro-Caribbean garden on Tuckaseegee Road that includes traditional plants from those regions and some from Latin America, with a focus on plants that offer herbal remedies.
For Ruiz, you canât talk about urban gardening and health and wellness without including herbal medicine and alternative healthcare.
âI think that thereâs a very fine line, if any, between providing preventative healthcare and having knowledge of how to do more of an acute sort of thing,â Ruiz said, âlike you have food and vegetables but in the situation of, âOh I have a cough, I have a fever, a cold,â you can learn about treating those specifically.ââ
Ruiz said he hopes Singletonâs work with moringa, which is known both for its culinary and medicinal properties, will help bridge the gap between diet and healthcare.
âTo see the connection with how food and urban gardening has been for such a while, I think that the connection to herbal medicine is inevitable,â he said. âMoringa is literally that. Itâs medicine, itâs used for specific medicinal remedies, and itâs food as well, itâs providing sustenance for people. So to be able to do what Iâm doing and and educate alongside him is really special. Iâm really excited for all the different stuff thatâs going on and is going to happen.â
Singleton can also rest easy knowing that his Savona Mill location will be in the capable hands of Chantel Johnson, founder and owner of local health and wellness self-sufficiency organization Off Grid In Color, while he works on Nebedaye Farms.
The future plans for Savona Mill are still far off, but Singleton isnât going to let them sneak up on him. Heâs currently in talks with Argos Real Estate Advisors, which owns the Savona Mill property and gave him the original space in the parking lot he uses now, about leasing out a separate building with offices, classrooms and garden space for an educational concept partnership between Singleton and Scott Harris of Viva Raw.
Those plans are still in the preliminary stages,
so in the meantime Singleton is focused on building up Nebedaye Farms. When we last spoke, Singleton had spent the day in discussions with companies interested in packaging and marketing his moringa products once the farm gets moving.
The namesake of Bennu Gardens, the Egyptian Bennu Bird, is a symbol of resurrection, renewal and rebirth, all themes that Singleton wanted to reinforce in the West End. Considering he launched Bennu Gardens with food stamps and never asked for a dime back, the potential to bring serious money back to his community would seem like a happy surprise, although one would be hard pressed to surprise Singleton.
âFrom where we came from and getting it to that point, and to bring as many people as we can along with us, thatâs important,â Singleton said. âWeâve got a very good team of dedicated workers, and we just do it. Money wasnât what was driving us, but if thatâs what came out of it, nothingâs ever wrong with that.â
You know what thatâs called? Growth.
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
A GARDEN DEPICTING BERNARDâS SON INITIALS AT THE SAVONA MILL LOCATION.
Pg. 25 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM FOOD & DRINK FEATURE
HERE TO STAY
Bernard Singleton expands mission to support Black farmers at Nebedaye Farms
BY RYAN PITKIN
From a parking lot in west Charlotteâs Savona Mill to an 11-acre farm in Indian Trail, Bernard Singleton has come a long way in just three years.
He credits the spiritual power of his ancestors, and one in particular â his late son, Caesar Singleton, who passed away tragically in 2010 at just 15 years old.
âAll of the ancestors are powerful, but he is the most powerful,â Singleton told me during a recent visit to his farm, where he was preparing for a Sept. 18 dinner on the farm hosted by Chef Awo, co-founder of Ehâvivi Ghanian Cuisine. The dinner would use ingredients grown on Bernardâs farm and cooked by Chef Awo, who runs Ehâvivi, a Concordbased catering business.
Singleton regularly hosts dinners like this one as he reaches harvesting season; they are how he carries out his mission to educate Americans on the roots of African food and the ancestral culinary arts that were brought here by enslaved Africans hundreds of years ago.
Having originally launched Nebedaye Farms on land owned by the Carolina Farm Trust in Indian Trail with the intention of exclusively growing moringa, Singleton has expanded in recent years, adding more than 30 plants that are native to Africa but able to grow in our climate.
Those include Carolina gold rice and indigo, two of the largest cash crops grown by enslaved people in Singletonâs hometown of Charleston, South Carolina.
âWe host dinners around these crops to introduce it to a lot of people who are not familiar with it and not aware that it actually can grow here,â Singleton told me. âWe are practicing a lot of the arts of our ancestors and paying homage to them in their sacrifice when they went through here. Thatâs why the rice is important and the indigo is important.
âA lot of those skills were lost or not kept up, but what weâre doing is bringing those skills back to honor the ancestors,â he continued. âAnd itâs great for economic empowerment for the community
because youâre working on a lot of rare niche crops. So things have been going very well.â
Singleton is currently working with chefs who will be participating in the second annual Bayhaven Food & Wine Festival, a Black food event launched by Leah & Louise owners Greg and Subrina Collier in 2021 in a push for economic empowerment and community development through the hospitality industry.
He has invited a number of chefs like Greg Collier, who has been a regular visitor to Nebedaye Farms since its opening, to visit and discuss possible uses for the crops he grows during the festival, scheduled for Oct. 19-23 at Camp North End.
âWe work with them when they get here to introduce a lot of things to them, and hopefully they would incorporate at least one dish that theyâre culturally connected to,â he explained. âWeâre trying to maintain being culturally connected to the food and eating for our DNA. Everybody has ancestors, but weâre honoring ours in ways they havenât been elevated and honored, especially with the botanical legacy that they left here.â
Following the festival, Singleton hopes to spread his knowledge beyond the Charlotte area.
Over the last year, Singleton has also been communicating with farmers and chefs in Senegal, where his ancestors once lived, as well as Ghana, Mali, Sierra Leone, and Spain.
Now he hopes to put what heâs learned to use in helping other Southern Black farmers through an organization called Jubilee Justice.
Restorative justice in farming
According to Jubilee Justice, a Louisiana-based organization with a mission to âheal and transform the wounds suffered by the people and the land through reparative genealogy and regenerative agriculture,â nearly 30,000 acres of Black-owned farmland is lost annually.
Singleton believes ancestral farming is a way to make Black farmers whole again, spiritually and financially.
âA lot of farmers have been walking away from farming because they couldnât make it profitable,â he said, âbut if you grow ancestral crops, thereâs a definite market for it, too, and youâre more culturally connected to it, and thereâs not much competition. So we brought enough different things here that people from all cultures benefit from.â
Immigrants from a wide range of Asian and African countries visit Nebedaye Farms regularly, as they have trouble finding some of the crops that he grows elsewhere.
The malunggay plant, for example, is known to different parts of the world under various names including the horseradish tree, drumstick tree, and dool in some regions. It has many uses both culinarily and medicinally.
âA lot of the Hindu populations, Indian population, southern India, they visit here because a lot of crops are similar between Africa, Asia, and India ⊠A lot of the foods are in common because they had trade between those countries long before we got here [to America]. So a lot of those same people, when they come and they see the malunggay, they get emotional ⊠They havenât seen these things since they left their country. So itâs important to them to even see someone from the outskirts actually growing these things, bringing a lot of the cultures together.â
And itâs not just food that Singleton is using to empower Black farmers, heâs recently been growing indigo to turn into dyes and pigments for paints, cosmetics and other uses.
On a more hyper-local level, Singletonâs relationships with his neighbors have been improving.
In August 2020, Queen City Nerve reported on the arrest of one of Singletonâs neighbors for âethnic intimidation,â a hate crime, following a confrontation between the two men.
During my recent visit, Singleton refused to comment
on what came of the case, only stating that âit had a good endingâ and he didnât want to stir any bad blood back up now that itâs resolved.
Heâs begun making inroads with other neighbors, ones who were in no way involved with the incident and have recently been visiting the farm to learn more about whatâs going on at Nebedaye Farms.
As reported by Queen City Nerve in 2020, Singleton and Black visitors have experienced multiple incidents of racism from passersby since Nebedaye opened, so he can sometimes be skeptical when heâs approached, as was the case when
BERNARD SINGLETON IN A SEA OF CAROLINA GOLD RICE AT NEBEDAYE FARMS.
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members of the Mint Hill Historical Society recently paid him a visit.
âIâm sitting here one day, thereâs a little caravan of white people rolling up, and Iâm like, âOkay, what now?ââ he said, laughing. âBut no, they actually came because they heard about what we were doing here and came to find out. Theyâve been hearing about how weâre doing things the traditional way, the ancestral way, and they were interested if we can
come present it.â
Singleton will present some of what heâs learned from his practice of growing ancestral crops at the Mint Hill Historical Societyâs Oct. 15 meeting.
For Singleton, itâs reason to believe that Nebedaye Farms has staying power â but he didnât need anyoneâs approval to know that already.
âAfter what weâve been through in the past two years, I guess they all realized we ainât going nowhere,â Singleton said, trailed by his trademark laugh.
INFO@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN
Pg. 27 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM FOOD & DRINK UPDATE
VIVA LANG VAN
East Charlotte staple sees community step up in time of struggle
BY PAT MORAN
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JULY 8, 2020
âI love my customers,â says Dan Nguyen, owner of Lang Van Vietnamese restaurant in east Charlotte. âThey are family to me.â
Nguyenâs English may still be a bit choppy, but her meaning and emotion is fluent. Her eyes well with tears of pride and joy as she shows me a vase filled with pastel flowers that her customer and friend Tiffany sent her. An uncluttered and colorful mix of sunflowers and roses, the floral arrangement complements the setting inside Lang Van, the cozy and unpretentious eatery that Nguyen has owned since 2009.
Upon entering the utilitarian rectangular building near the intersection of Shamrock and Eastway drives, visitors are confronted by a surprising and fanciful bamboo curtain. This tikibar-like concession to exotic Southeast Asia aside, the rest of the dining room is pretty basic. Framed awards recognizing Lang Van as the best restaurant in Charlotte going back several years line the plain white walls. Small tables and diner-style booths sport table cloths emblazoned with multi-hued maps of Vietnam, a reminder of Nguyenâs homeland.
But today the booths are empty and chairs are stacked on the tables. Although Lang Van is allowed 50% occupancy under the extended Safer-at-Home phase of North Carolina Governor Roy Cooperâs three-phased plan to open up the economy while stemming the spread of COVID-19, Nguyen has chosen not to have indoor seating at her establishment.
âCOVID is bad. I care for my customers a lot. I care for my family,â the 48-year-old restaurateur says, explaining her decision against implementing indoor seating. âI want them to be healthy.â
Of the nine people on staff at the restaurant, several are family, including Nguyen, her husband Tuyen Tran who cooks in the kitchen, and their
two children Alice and Henry Tran. Over the years, Nguyenâs sister, cousins, and nieces have also worked at Lang Van, and some still do. But the business has paid dearly for Nguyenâs determination to keep her family and customers safe. For three months the restaurant has been operating as take-out only, and bills have been piling up. It was particularly rough early in the shutdown.
âOne week we had no customers, [but] I tell my husband ⊠[weâll be] open every day, busy or not busy, weâll be open,â Nguyen says. âWe lost a lot of money for three months, but I donât care. We work hard.â
Despite the restaurantâs dire financial straits, Nguyen insisted on paying her staff their full
wages. Take-out business picked up a little as word spread that Lang Van was still open, but as the days lengthened into summer, money continued to dwindle.
The Charlotte community gets behind Lang Van
Gradually the unthinkable dawned on everyone lucky enough to have discovered the tucked-away gem of east Charlotteâs dining scene: The cityâs oldest and best Vietnamese restaurant could soon disappear.
âI heard tonight that one of the most iconic restaurants in Charlotte is struggling through these hard times,â reads a June 18 Instagram post about Lang Van from Made To Last Tattoo owner Chris Stuart. âIâve been eating here for over 20yrs and this woman I would consider familyâŠIâve always said she and the entire staff deserves an award for hospitality, so letâs show them some appreciation and support for their many years serving us.â
Rapidly, Nguyenâs love for her customers was reciprocated. Stuartâs post was shared by the Plaza Midwood Facebook group. On June 19, Neighborhood Theatre amplified the message on their Facebook page: âAnother staple on the east side is in danger of going under. This joint is some of the best Vietnamese in town⊠Yâall drop by and show em some love and get a great meal.â
The call was picked up by the online neighborhood app Nextdoor Plaza Midwood.
âLang Van is struggling,â Rose Hamid posted on Nextdoor. âIf you love Lang Van as much as I do, plan to order from them.â
âI drove by today around 1:00 p.m. and was surprised to see an empty parking lot,â wrote Porter Merrill. âPlease support them if you can.â
âWe heard the same thing ⊠and got takeout last night,â Megan Fuller posted. âI almost cried when I got to see the owner and employees. They truly treat everyone like family!â
Many more people shared stories of wonderful meals and acts of kindness by restaurant staff.
The recovery process
âSave Lang Van Vietnamese Restaurant,â reads the title of the GoFundMe page launched by Carly Valigura West on behalf of Tuyen Tran.
âI have no affiliation with the restaurant besides being a dedicated patron and fan for over 20 years,â West wrote on the page. âThe owner, Dan, always greets us with that huge grin of hers, tells us what to order, and I just canât imagine not being able to enjoy the best Vietnamese cuisine outside of Vietnam ever again.â
In less than 24 hours the campaign raised $30,000. As of July 6, the total stands at $57,687 raised from 822 donors. That was enough to not only
PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN
LANG VAN IS LOCATED AT 3019 SHAMROCK DRIVE IN EAST CHARLOTTE.
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catch up on bills, but allow Dan and the team to take the week off for Independence Day, a much-needed break and a tradition of sorts for the restaurant staff.
On June 20, West posted an update on the page.
âWe just got back from seeing Dan and everyone at Lang Van,â West wrote. âDan cried, I cried, it was fantastic. She is just over the top thrilled and in awe of everyoneâs generosity. There was a line out the door to get take-out and I couldnât have been more thrilled to watch people ordering take-out and forcing her to take their very generous donations.â
In Lang Vanâs dining room in east Charlotte, Nguyen remembers learning about the fundraiser and its success.
âMy customer comes in and shows meâŠâ She stops talking and mimes, indicating that they showed Nguyen the GoFundMe page on their phone. âThey say, âYou see it?â Then Iâm so happy.â
Donations have come from other sources too. Nguyen says that people have come in with cash donations of $50, $100, $200 and more. One customer comes in from Lake Norman with a weekly donation of $100. Another came in three times, bringing $150 each time.
Nguyen recalls a customer named Cindy who came in for take-out on a weekday and was disappointed to see the restaurant empty. She left and returned one hour later with $1,000 in cash.
âAfter that a lot of people came in,â Nguyen continues. âThe last week, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, it was crazy â so many orders to go.â
There seems to be no end in sight for the cityâs generosity toward Nguyen, her family and their beloved restaurant. As Queen City Nerve takes photos of Nguyen, a man steps up, says hello to her and then presses a stack of $20 bills into her hands. After posing for a picture with Nguyen, the man waves goodbye, refusing to give us his name as he leaves.
âPeople are very kind to me, Nguyen offers. âCan you tell them I am so happy?â
Coming to America
Running a restaurant has been a challenge, but even before Nguyen started working at Lang Van, life was not easy. âBefore I leave my country, I was poor,â she says. Nguyen was born September 4, 1974 in Tuy Hoa, in what was then South Vietnam as the 14-year long Vietnam War drew to a close, .
âShe didnât have any parents [and] she didnât have any education,â said Henry Tran, translating
Nguyenâs Vietnamese in a November 2017 oral history interview that Nguyen and her two children did with Southern Foodways Alliance. Nguyen was in her early 20s when she met and married Tran, but the couple didnât stay together long. Tran left to find work in America, leaving Nguyen behind for five years. Once Tran was settled, he brought her back with him to Charlotte in 1999.
âI came here to America,â Nguyen says. âI am so lucky.â
But life was hard for the 26-year-old newcomer to the U.S. Nguyen and her husband stayed with friends and acquaintances from Vietnam, at one point living out of their car for three months. Then one day, with only five dollars in her pocket, Nguyen stepped through Lang Vanâs door into the bamboo festooned foyer.
âShe saw that the place [and] the customers were really friendly,â said Alice Tran translating her motherâs words in the 2017 interview. âShe wanted to help the customers and make them happier. So thatâs why she applied for the job.â
Lang Vanâs owner No Duong took Nguyen under her wing. After working in Asian restaurants in Charlotte since the early 1980s, Duongâs family opened Lang Van in 1990. The name translates to Land of the Tattooed Men and comes from a myth-shrouded third-century BCE kingdom that is believed to be the forerunner of Vietnam.
No Duongâs brother, Cuong Duong, subsequently opened another Vietnamese restaurant, Ben Thanh, named for an open-air market in Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon) that has been in operation since the 19th century.
At Lang Van, Nguyen worked diligently, learned the ropes and rose steadily through the ranks. By 2004, she was part owner of the restaurant. In 2009, when No Duong moved to California to be with family, Nguyen took full ownership of Lang Van.
âOne of the owners couldnât work here anymore, but they loved the customersâ Alice said in 2017, translating her motherâs words. âThey made my mom promise to make the customers happy. Mom promised, so now sheâs working [hard] to honor her words.â
Good morning, Vietnam
With her newfound influx of funds, Nguyen has paid her bills, but sheâs also paying it forward. Sheâs recently given each member of her staff $1,000. On the day Queen City Nerve visits the restaurant, three employees cheerfully display envelopes filled with $500 each that Nguyen had given them that day. Nguyen is relieved just to pay rent.
âI usually keep this to myself, but today I tell you,â she confides. Through April and May, the restaurant was able to pay itâs $4,700 per month rent in full, but in June, Nguyen fell short. Luckily, she has a great relationship with her landlord which sheâs been developing since No Duong owned the spot.
So when she called to say she was short for June, the landlord told her anything she could pay was fine, Nguyen recalls. She paid $3,300 and will deliver the remaining balance shortly.
As for the rest of the money, it has finally given Nguyen a chance to take a little time off. She usually works from 9 a.m. to 1 a.m., but recently, she found some precious moments to spend with a customer named Alison. Sheâs a cancer patient, Nguyen says haltingly.
âSheâs only 34 years old. Usually I donât go anywhere but here. The last month it was not busy and I got the time. I come home with her. I would sit with her every week.â Nguyen pauses as her eyes fill with tears. âShe passed away two weeks ago.â
This poignant vignette illustrates why Lang Van is so essential to so many people in Charlotte.
Yes, it is an exceptional restaurant, many say the best in the city. And on one level perhaps Charlotteans have fought for Lang Van because they were damned if they were going to see another institution like the Manor Theatre or Carpe Diem disappear.
âItâs an icon, and Dan Nguyen is an ambassador for the city,â says Central Piedmont Community College English instructor Amy Bagwell. When CPCC presents its spring literary festival Sensoria,
Bagwell and her colleagues take the visiting writers to Lang Van each year because they want the literary luminaries to experience the finest restaurant Charlotte has to offer, Bagwell maintains. Amy Bloom, Tracy K. Smith, Ben Marcus, Chris Abani, Carolyn Forché, Richard Blanco, and Li-Young Lee, for whom Dan kept her doors open late, have all been to the Southeast Asian eatery on Shamrock and loved it.
That still doesnât explain the emotional attachment people have for the 30-year-old family owned restaurant. Perhaps Nguyenâs embrace of her customers as a kind of extended family is a potent force in unsettling times. More than a restaurant, Lang Van is an accepting homespun hub for a city that may be growing too quickly for the connective tissue of community to catch up.
Itâs only fitting that the Queen Cityâs quintessential eatery may well be a joint started by refugees welcomed to America after fleeing war and poverty in their homeland. It means there may be hope for other refugees currently incarcerated at our borders, if only we as a country can turn to our better angels.
âI love America,â Nguyen maintains. âBefore I came here, I had no money, no education, nothing. I slept in my car for three months. Now I have a little bit.â
Once again, Nguyenâs eyes grow misty.
âEverybody in the world I love. I wish them well. No more sickness. No more troubles. Weâll be okay.â
PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWINDAN NGUYEN IN 2020.
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STILL STANDING
Lang Van back on stable ground after pandemic struggles
BY RAYNE ANTRIM
The quaint, faded green restaurant glows with an open sign on, and clear glass doors with mask mandated posters taken off. Chairs patiently sit waiting for customers to fill them as tables stand strong to allow space for families and individuals alike to eat good food with good company.
As I walk into Lang Van Vietnamese restaurant in east Charlotte, I get a familiar feeling. I am met with a warm greeting from the owner, Dan Nyguen.
Nguyen is short in stature. Light and thin, with radiant skin and a glowing smile. Her hair sits back into a low ponytail with loose pieces of hair framing her face. She graciously offers me a Vietnamese coffee with a soft grin. I accept as I sink into the green-cushioned booth. The hour is dead; the quietness emphasizes the bamboo curtains and glass bottles that line the booths of Lang Van,
the Vietnamese restaurant that Nugyen has owned and operated since 2009. Employees approach the table with water and appetizers without hesitation. Hospitality is a priority here.
Over 30 small-businesses in Charlotte closed during COVID. Lang Van was looking at a similar fate in the summer of 2020, when Queen City Nerve wrote about community efforts to fundraise for the east Charlotte staple. The business felt the same economic distress as other small restaurants across the country after being forced to close their dine-in areas due to COVID restrictions.
Known for their hospitable staff, delectable dishes, and an owner with incredible memory, Lang Van is one of Charlotteâs gems. In efforts to save the beloved restaurant, Lang Vanâs customers and neighbors raised more than $63,000 â $33,000
over the desired goal â in 2020.
To this day, customers still donate on top of what they pay for their meal while dining in or grabbing takeout. These are gestures that Nguyen will never forget and aims to pay back in some way.
âYeah, they helped me a lot. And right now, my heart, I remember every night, every night,â Nguyen says as she pats her hand to her chest. âSometimes on holidays, I help people with presents.â
Another fundraiser, organized by Remy Thurston to raise funds for a Lang Van employee who was diagnosed with blood cancer early in 2022, raised more than $30,000 through the sale of T-shirts that sport the exterior of the restaurant in Lang Vanâs iconic green. The description for the fundraiser describes the cozy spot to be âpart of your extended family here in Charlotte.â All the proceeds went directly to the affected employee.
Nguyen said the employee is still out of work while wrapping up her chemotherapy treatments, but she hopes to be back in the restaurant soon.
Orlean, an employee thatâs worked for Dan for eight years, describes Dan as âa beautiful person.â
âSheâs like my mother, you know?â Orlean added. âI donât have a mother here. [I came] here in 2008, so I didnât have an opportunity, you know, working.â
âI knocked on doors, you know, âHey, I need
work.â ⊠One day, [Nguyen] called and said, âHey. Do you want a place for working?ââ Orlean recalls. She remembers taking three buses to get to Lang Van at the time. Their relationship blossomed from there.
Nguyen, who arrived in America to join her husband in 1999 and struggled to get by, even living out of her car for a short period, does what she can to help others like Orlean who find themselves in a similar situation.
Her strengths are in allowing her emotions to show, remembering many of her customers by name and acting with a selfless demeanor. Nguyenâs pure character is cemented by the testimonies of her from employees.
âA lot of people love my employees. They love me. They love everybody,â Dan gleans, becoming teary-eyed. âAnd I donât care for myself. I never think for myself. My babies are happy, my employees are happy, and customers are happy.â
Despite the struggles that the pandemic brought on, the future of Lang Van looks to be stable for now. Nguyenâs unwavering dedication to help and care for others keeps her employees standing right by her side, and customers steadily streaming through Lang Vanâs doors.
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PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN
31 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
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Pg. 34 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM LIFESTYLE PUZZLES
SUDOKU
TRIVIA TEST
BY LINDA THISTLE BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ
CROSSWORD
1. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is a baby hedgehog called?
2. MOVIES: Which 1960s movie features a character named Holly Golightly?
3. HISTORY: In which country did the Easter Rising of 1916 take place?
4. GEOGRAPHY: Which U.S. state is bordered by the states of Washington, Oregon, Montana, Utah, Wyoming and Nevada?
5. LITERATURE: What do the initials in J.D. Salingerâs name stand for?
6. GEOMETRY: How many sides does a heptagon have?
7. TELEVISION: Richard Dawson was the original host of which TV game show?
8. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Which gymnast was the first to score a perfect 10 in Olympic competition?
9. U.S. STATES: Which stateâs official animal is a red fox?
PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.
10. MEDICAL: What is the common name of a condition called tussis?
Pg. 35 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
BREAKFAST STACKS
©2022 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved. ©2022 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved. LIFESTYLE PUZZLES WWW.CANVASTATTOOS.COM (980) 299-2588 3012 N. DAVIDSON STREET 2918 N. DAVIDSON STREET CHARLOTTE, NC 28205 VOTED BEST TATTOO SHOP 2019 2020 2021
LIFESTYLE
AERIN IT OUT NODA GONNA NODA
A funky, rainy Saturday funday
BY AERIN SPRUILL
Normally, a rainy Saturday is my ultimate excuse to put on my biggest sweats, curl up on the couch and binge-rewatch the Harry Potter movies. But one recent such Saturday in early September required me to tuck away the only child in me and prepare for socialization, which landed me in an Uber to JackBeagleâs in NoDa.
For some, NoDa represents the âgrungyâ/rougharound-the-edges face of Charlotte, for others, itâs a historical home for the struggling artist that will fight tooth and nail to keep NoDa NoDa. Sure, there are new players in the NoDa game since I threw a tantrum when my parents wouldnât co-sign my move to Highland Mill Lofts (or my hippie phase) seven years ago, but major players like Growlers Pourhouse, Heist, Noda 101, Ever Andalo (yes, I know the name and menu changes are still up for debate), Dog Bar, Blind Pig, Sanctuary, and of course, JackBeagleâs remain the same. And therefore, the
fabric remains largely intact â worn in and comfy.
You know the rides with drunk friends where you are filled simultaneously with instant regret for the driver and endless gratitude that you werenât the one who requested it?
It was that kind of ride. We pulled up in front of Jackbeagleâs.
I took a sigh of relief knowing that the secondhand embarrassment had come to an end but refuge was still a few rainy steps and four ID checks away â which may as well be two blocks in a downpour for a Black girl with natural hair.
I pulled my leather jacket over my bun and beelined it to the door, my plans quickly thwarted by my girlfriend chatting up a familiar face just outside the door. âNow she knows I ainât tryinâ to get my hair wet,â I thought as I rolled my eyes and tried to squeeze past them.
Peeking beneath the collar of my jacket, my eyes met with the bouncer whose familiar wide grin seemed to be getting a good laugh at my expense. A pillar of the
community, Sherman has been there perched on a stool just inside or just outside the door of Jackbeagleâs every time Iâve visited, usually donning the same sheepish grin. Something about him reminds me of the sweet version of Gort, the junkman, in Halloweentown II.
âPray for me,â I said to him, shaking off the rainwater that had accumulated in the crease of my jacket. He giggled, his shoulders vibrating while shaking his head in solidarity, âI will.â I turned to take in the familiar chaos of the interior bar.
Patrons standing over barstools, hoping to sneak in a quick shot and a beer inside where itâs less crowded, the remnants of their cheesesteaks strewn on an unoccupied table, and groups of girls waiting in line for the bathroom leading out to the back patio. I wasnât greeted by the respite of refreshing AC. Instead, the mugginess of the summer rain mixed with the smell of wet dog, beer, and B.O. hanging in the air. Yummy.
Live music out back meant weâd be outside anyway. About 75% of the patrons were scattered under the awning, waiting to order drinks, or snacking at the hightop tables completely unbothered by the shoulder-toshoulder crowd slowly filling up the space and cutting off any crossbreeze. Not a solitary stool to rest my loins.
I hung back for as long as I could, fearing a claustrophobia-induced panic attack. Beneath one of the occupied tables, a pup, maybe a Maltese, caught my eye as it rolled around in a dirty puddle of rainwater. My brows furrowed at the thought of having to wring out my pet before leaving the bar, but then I saw humans doing virtually the same thing, dancing without a care for the
rain or the rhythm. No judgment, do ya thang dog.
It was only a matter of time before those same rhythms and the sounds of funk and soul pulled our drunken party close to the stage and out from under the comfort of overhead covering. My girlfriend placed a cider in my hand, grabbed my arm, and pulled me through the crowd into the drizzling rain. Protesting wouldâve been in vain, but oddly enough, I was actually feeling the Chicago funky jazz band, Sneezy.
The lead singer, a cherub-faced white guy clad in a red tie-dye t-shirt, bolo tie, a bandana-wrapped wide-brim fedora atop what must have been a killer curly fro, and Chacolike sandals sat cross legged on stage belting out adlibs in the form of Bill Withers (âAinât No Sunshineâ). Bandmates rubbed his exposed belly attempting to stand him up and this comedic assist quickly devolved into a saxophone solo introed by what sounded like Salt-N-Pepaâs âWhatta Man.â
I couldnât believe my ears as I watched this merry band of misfits with the soul of Black folk perform for, well, not Black folk â and those non-Black folk were eating it up!
âYâall know yâall Black right?!â I said as the lead singer stepped off stage for a break. He had to do a doubletake curious as to whether or not he heard me correctly and then a grin spread across his face. âThatâs the best compliment weâll get all night,â he said laughing, âAll of our musical inspirations are.â
After that, getting a bowl of Thai Mac to go was the icing on the cake. Despite all the change, NoDa is still gonna NoDa and I ainât mad at it.
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Pg. 36 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
COLUMN
LIFESTYLE
HOROSCOPE
Sept. 21 - 27 Sept. 28 - OCT. 4
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) This week could offer more opportunities for ambitious Lambs eager to get ahead. But, donât rush into making decisions until youâve checked for possible hidden problems.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Some light begins to shine on professional and/or personal situations that have long eluded explanation. Best advice: Donât rush things. All will be made clear in time.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Although you might want to protest what seems to be an unfair situation, itâs best to keep your tongue and temper in check for now. The full story hasnât yet come out.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Work prospects are back on track. But, watch what you say. A thoughtless comment to the wrong person â even if itâs said in jest â could delay or even derail your progress.
LEO (July 23 to August 22) A colleague might try to goad you into saying or doing the wrong thing. Itâs best to ignore the troublemaker, even if they rile your royal self. Your supporters stand with you.
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Be careful not to let your on-the-job zealousness create resentment with co-workers, who might feel you shut them out. Prove them wrong by including them in your project.
BORN THIS WEEK: You are a delightful paradox. You like things neat and tidy. But, youâre also a wonderful host who can throw a really great party.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Although itâs not quite what you hoped for, use your good business sense to make the most of what youâre being offered at this time. Things will improve down the line.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A more positive picture of what lies ahead is beginning to take shape. But there are still too many gaps that need to be filled in before you make definitive plans.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21)
Continue to hold onto the reins so that you donât charge willy-nilly into a situation that might appear attractive on the surface, but that actually lacks substance.
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) The Sea Goatâs merrier side dominates this week, and this means that, despite your usual busy schedule, youâll be able to squeeze in parties and all sorts of fabulous, fun times.
AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Youâll find that people are happy to help you deal with some difficult situations. And, of course, knowing you, youâll be happy to return those favors anytime. Wonât you?
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Give that special someone in your personal life a large, loving dollop of reassurance. That will go a long way toward restoring the well-being of your ailing relationship.
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) change that youâd hoped for is down the line. But, you still need to be patient until more explanations are forthcoming. Continue to keep your enthusiasm in check.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your social life expands as new friends come into your life. But, while youâre having fun, your practical side can also see some positive business potential within your new circle.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Your workplace situation continues to improve. Look for advantages you might have missed while all the changes were going on around you. A trusted colleague can help.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Resist the urge to hunker down in your bunker until things ease up. Instead, get rid of that woe-is-me attitude by getting up and getting out to meet old friends or make new ones.
LEO (July 23 to August 22) Now that youâre back enjoying the spotlight again, you should feel reenergized and ready to take on the challenge of bringing those big, bold plans of yours to completion.
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A former friend would like to repair a relationship you two once enjoyed. Your positive response could have an equally positive impact on your life. Think about it.
BORN THIS WEEK: You are a wonderful matchmaker who can bring people together to form long-lasting relationships.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Resist making impulsive decisions. Stay on that steady course, as you continue to work out workplace problems. Be patient. All will soon be back in balance.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You might feel confident about taking a promising offer, but stay alert for what youâre not being told about it. Donât fret. Time is on your side.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) People dear to you might be planning a way to show appreciation for all youâve done for them. Accept the honor graciously. Remember, you deserve it.
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Congratulations! Your self-confidence is on the rise. This could be a good time to tackle those bothersome situations youâve avoided both at home and at work.
AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) You feel obligated to return a favor. (Of course, you do.) But, heed advice from those close to you and do nothing until you know for sure whatâs being asked of you.
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Your loving reassurance helped revive a once-moribund relationship. But, be wary of someone who might try to do something negative to reverse this positive turn of events.
PUZZLE ANSWERS
Pg. 37 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
2022 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.
TriviaAnswers 1.Hoglet. 2.âBreakfastatTiffanyâs.â 3.Ireland. 4.Idaho. 5.JeromeDavid. 6.Seven. 7.âFamilyFeud.â 8.NadiaComaneci. 9.Mississippi. 10.Cough.
SAVAGE LOVE WINDOW SHOPPING
Watch where youâre pointing that thing
BY DAN SAVAGE
At a party recently I was chatting with a parent who mentioned that he lets his (elementary school-age) kids look at porn. He had a laissezfaire attitude about the whole thing, but I found it disturbing. Am I being a judge-y childless witch?
There were no middle schools where I grew up, so an âelementary school ageâ child could be a 6-year-old first grader or 14-year-old eighth grader. For the record: I obviously donât think a 6-year-old should view porn, and a responsible parent would not allow a young child to view pornography. I also know itâs almost impossible for a parent to stop a motivated 14-year-old kid from looking at porn. So, if this manâs children are older, perhaps he said, âlets his kids,â when he meant, âcanât stop his kids.â Whatever his kidsâ ages, you canât stop him from not stopping his kid from looking at porn, but you are free to offer him some unsolicited advice. (Is there anything parents enjoy more?) You could also send him the clip of Billie Eilish on Howard Stern talking about how watching porn at a young age really messed with her head.
My husband likes to be naked all the time at home. I think he should cover up when heâs in front of the big window in our front room and can be seen from the street, but he says I am being body shame-y. What do you think?
I dated a guy who thought he should be able to walk around in front of his large picture windows at home, naked and sometimes hard (morning wood-y), and he was adamant about it. And then one day the police came and arrested him for indecent exposure. Anyway, you should put up curtains and/or plant some tall bushes in front of those picture windows.
Iâm a 44-year-old whoâs on the dating scene for the first time in 11 years. A few months ago, I hit it off with a hot, hot guy. Great! My problem/ question is about distractions during sex, and I need a sanity check. Once during intercourse, Hot Guy called out an answer to an NPR news quiz that was playing in the background. Is this behavior
rude? Iâm operating under the assumption that if oneâs mind wanders during sex, one should at least pretend to be focused.
âMaybe this letter writer shouldâve chosen a more appropriate time for intimate relations â like when This American Life is playing,â said Peter Sagal, the host of Wait Wait⊠Donât Tell Me!, National Public Radioâs long-running news quiz program. âStill, I completely understand why the letter writer would be offended by this manâs behavior. First, by thinking our show would be appropriate as an audio background for lovemaking â although Bill Kurtis is known, for good reason, as the Barry White of anchormen. And second, the fact that he actually answered questions out loud while in flagrante. But the letter writer shouldnât think he was completely ignoring her to concentrate on us; our questions arenât that hard.â
Follow Peter Sagal on Twitter @PeterSagal.
Been playing with one of my fellow guys recently â Iâm a gay guy â who says heâs into men, but who absolutely refuses to let me (or anyone else) touch his butt. What is this?
The Ass Ceiling. (Itâs also a boundary of his, and one you must respect â but youâre free to ask him about it. Conversations, even follow-up conversations, about limits, boundaries, and reasonable expectations are not inherently coercive. Wanting to better understand a ânoâ doesnât mean you didnât hear it and donât respect it. But at the start of a follow-up conversation like that, you need to emphasize that you did, indeed, hear that âno,â and will, of course, continue to respect it.)
Iâm a 40-year-old cis het man. For more than 20 years â most of my life so far â Iâve been obsessed with one woman. We were never a couple, and I havenât had contact with her since my mid-20s. How to get past this? The easiest way would probably be to start a relationship with another woman. Or I could get therapy â but I donât know if my insurance would cover it.
Some days my Instagram feed is mostly memes about how straight guys will do literally anything to avoid getting the therapy they clearly need ⊠and your question brought every one of those memes to mind. I mean, youâve been miserable for almost two decades and you canât be bothered to check whether your health insurance covers the therapy you so clearly need? Jesus, dude. Make that phone call, get some therapy, donât date anyone until youâve been seeing your therapist for at least a year.
My husband and I (bio female, newly transmasc) recently became poly. We have created a âclosed kitchen table poly quadâ with our two best friends. The breakdown is one older married
couple, one younger engaged couple, and itâs getting serious. We are now talking about moving in together. Any tips on living together for poly newbies? I think we have a chance at making it work long-term, but I donât want to add pressure.
Hereâs a tip for poly newbies: Donât move in with other singles, couples, triads, battalions, etc., you just started dating. If moving in together is the right thing to do, moving in together will still be the right thing three years from now. If itâs the wrong thing to do, moving in together will be a disaster three months from now. Take it slow.
Go to Savage.Love to read the full column; send questions to questions@savagelove.net; listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast; follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.
Pg. 38 SEPTEMBER 21OCTOBER 4, 2022QCNERVE.COM
LIFESTYLE COLUMN
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