north east regional extra | March 11 - 17, 2020
nemedia.com.au
1.
March 11 - 17, 2020
Hearten Up, man By BELINDA HARRISON
JOEL Clapham grew up with two younger brothers in a family home where fun, laughter and occasional fights between siblings coexisted for many years alongside the unpredictable moods of a father who suffered with mental ill-health. Joel’s father - Adrian - moved the family from Warrnambool to Thoona when Joel was 10 in the hope that the move north would present a fresh start for him. Adrian was struggling with his mental health but it was the early 1990s and people didn’t talk about mental health or admit they might be struggling, especially not if they were a ‘ man’ like Adrian. “My Dad fitted the mould for a ‘manly man’ being six foot three, fit and strong, and someone who played footy in the hard, tough and often-antagonistic way that country football was played,” Joel said. The day before Joel’s 11th birthday, Adrian walked out on his wife and sons. It wasn’t the first time, but Joel was hopeful he’d return and his parents would be happy together again. It wasn’t to be - the expectation of being a ‘man’ in a regional town, along with being told to ‘harden up’ weighed too heavily on Adrian. “The move didn’t turn out to be the panacea Dad had hoped for; he remained moody and oscillated between being emotionally distant and then quite affectionate and loving,” Joel said. Adrian moved back to Warrnambool a few months later, with Joel and his brothers seeing him most school holidays, but he was no longer involved in the day to day parenting - that was left to Joel’s mother.
◆ NOT MADE OF CONCRETE: Joel Clapham struggled with mental health challenges for many years but through his workshops and training he wants to equip others who might be suffering. PHOTO: Belinda Harrison
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