The Pressure of Survivorship
What Lies Above & Beneath the Surface
Beyond the Diagnosis
Increasing awareness of how to care for oneself day to day.
AND… the challenge of reconciling identity
Awareness of experience of grief. AND… most being disenfranchised grief
Changes to priorities and how one spends their time & increasing appearance of health and healing. AND… challenges with feeling understood
Deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for life and support AND… a drive to “Give Back”
Toxic Positivity
• Cancer survivors often celebrated for their strength & resilience.
• This can minimize legitimate feelings of ongoing struggle
• Can become a barrier to seeking support.
Julie Larson,
Toxic Positivity Defined
The unrelenting pressure to be positive and happy all the time.
Deeply engrained in many different areas of our culture from health, wellness, self-help, religion, race, politics & athletics.
Toxic Positivity from others
▪ Shuts down the conversation
▪ Focus on problem solving or fixing
▪ Avoids discomfort
▪ Misunderstands the presence of more than one feeling
▪ Misses an opportunity for real connection
Toxic Positivity from yourself
Powerful Forces
External Pressure:
Internal Pressure
• Assumptions
• Great expectations
• Fortune telling
• Judgement
• Attention
• Perfection
• Holding on
• Comparisons
Back to Normal Milestones Others
See
• Returning to work
• Resuming household activities
• Back to social gatherings
• Connection to affirming activities
Combating SHOULDS
A “Should” holds an arbitrary rule for a behavior
Re-examine and question any personal (or culturally applied) rules or expectations.
BALANCED THINKING:
“My rules are flexible”
“My values are personal”
Combating OverGeneralization
• Over generalizations make sweeping statements based on a little evidence.
• Overgeneralization is an exaggeration – the tendency to take a button and sew a vest on it. Fight it by quantifying instead of using words like “huge”, “awful”, “everyone”… so on.
• How much evidence do you REALLY have? Are you ignoring shades of grey.
• Meaning and purpose of wellsprings of hope.
• When we recognize our value to someone (or something) else it gives us a place to focus that is outside of our uncertainty.
• How does the life around you still need you despite the uncertainty you feel?
