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Commun ty Matters Sterling Presbyterian Manor

Myths About Aging, Debunked

By Pamela Blair for Next Avenue To age successfully, we need to be aware of the newer and older myths about aging that our current culture holds true. Here are examples of the myths I’ve heard and what I know to be true: Myth: Old people are depressed and lonely. Truth: We may get sad and lonely from time to time, but the research shows that the least lonely and depressed are older than 75. Myth: Old people have more stress in their lives. Truth: According to psychologists, older people have more stress-free days than younger ones. Myth: Growing older is synonymous with the loss of meaning and purpose. Truth: Research and the elderly themselves are demonstrating that one’s later years can be the richest ever in wisdom and spirituality. Myth: If you are older and reminiscing about the past or are becoming garrulous about the past, you are exhibiting signs of senility. Truth: These recollections are natural and appropriate, and their purpose is to resolve conflicts of life and to do a life review. Copyright© 2014 Next Avenue, a division of

Twin Cities Public Television, Inc.

June 2015

When Should You Step In to Help Your Parents? By Eileen Beal, Benjamin Rose, Institute on Aging

What Our Parents Don't Admit

But they usually aren’t admitting — especially to their adult children — that they tend to drop heavy pots, trip on the basement steps, are confused about when to take their medications or back into things with the car.

How to know when your parents need more coordinated help.

A parent may ask for the occasional favor, but most won’t ask for help around the house or with their daily activities, even when they need it, says Alberta Chokshi, a social worker and director of quality improvement for Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging.

They don’t think it’s any of their kids’ business. Or, they are in denial about what’s going on. Try To See The Big Picture

Denial isn’t all on the parents’ side. Adult children are often deep in it, too.

They don’t want to admit that a parent is declining and needs help. Chokshi, who has been working with They may resist accepting that familial families for 40 years, says that instead roles are starting to reverse and that of seeking help, it’s typical for elderly they need to step in, either helping a parent themselves or lining up parents to adapt and adjust their support. activities and routines. If you’re guilty of denial, it’s time for They do household chores more you to take a hard look around for the slowly (or not at all). They may use telltale signs that things aren’t going adaptive devices, such as a cane or a reacher or a magnifying glass. Perhaps well for a parent or loved one. they’ve lined up someone to pick Don’t just look for safety and health them up for errands and troubles, Chokshi advises. Look for appointments. And — often just to things that could point to problems please their children — they will with how a parent is functioning on a wear a medical alert bracelet or daily basis, and also check on whether necklace.

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Ron Wilson RESIDENT SPOTLIGHT:

Born in April 1943, Ron was adopted by Russell and Jessie Wilson and grew up an only child. His mother spent time working as a school teacher and a hair dresser. Ron’s father worked for the Sante Fe Railroad throughout Barton and Rice counties.

His father would often bring him to work and teach him the ins and outs of his job. This is where Ron’s love for trains grew. “My father taught me a lot about working with the trains during that time, but it has been so long I have forgotten so much of it,” he said.

Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Sterling Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of

501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org. Mike Rajewski, executive director Cindy Moore, marketing director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact cmoore@pmma.org. Telephone: 620-278-3651 Fax: 620-278-3581 Address: 204 W. Washington, Sterling, KS 67579-1614 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values. SterlingPresbyterianManor.org

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Ron greatly enjoyed that time he spent with his father, and, of course, he loved being around the trains as well. Ron never did marry, but the extra time he put into his love of trains and the pride of being a freemason. Over his life, Ron grew his collection of model trains, he was a big part of the model railroaders club in McPherson and spent time with the club in Hutchinson as well. Ron worked various jobs and even had the opportunity to work for the Sante Fe Railroad himself. He stayed there for a week, but did not care for it and went back to working at the grain elevator.

Ron Wilson has an ambitious goal in 2015 read the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation.

His latest hobby is volunteering as the front lobby greeter. He opens the door, greets visitors, people watches, directs guests to where they need to go and even helps the front office with clerical work by stuffing envelopes for accounting and folding daily menus for the kitchen.

At the end of January, he made a commitment to himself to read the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation. He has read different parts of the Bible through his life, but this time he wants to read it all in order. He is currently finishing up 2 Chronicles.

Though Ron’s hobbies have changed a bit–shooting pool, playing dominos and Wii bowling–he can still tell you all you want to know about trains.

He is a very social person and loves to have conversations with other residents while helping them find things they are looking for. While at the front desk, you can find Ron reading his Bible during his down time. Ron is a devoted Christian and reads his Bible every day, along with other daily devotionals.

Mother’s Day

Many generous donors gave to the Mother’s Day appeal at Sterling Presbyterian Manor. Funds are directed to support the Good Samaritan Program, which benefits residents who have outlived their financial resources through no fault of their own.

STEPPING IN

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companionship and socialization needs are being met. Try to check out the whole physical, emotional and psychological picture.

Also, look for indicators that your parent’s spiritual needs are being met. Many older adults have had very strong and active affiliations with their religious organizations, and it’s important for them to keep those up. What To Look For

The following are incidents/situations/ observations to be on the lookout for and, where appropriate, question a parent about: • Falls, accidents and bruises • Difficulty getting up from a seated position or with walking, balance and mobility • A decline in housekeeping and house maintenance (dishes piled in the sink, dirty floors, broken railings, drippy faucets, dirty walls, etc.) • A noticeable decline in grooming, dress and personal care • Unexplained weight loss (or gain) • Inability to recognize or react to danger • A falloff in socializing, getting out or visiting (often due to a shrinking social network) • Loss of interest in hobbies and activities • Forgetting to take medications — or taking more than the prescribed dosage • Uncertainty and confusion when performing once-familiar tasks

Keep in mind that some problems could be due to an illness or be related to medications being taken (or not taken). Sometimes a visit to the doctor is a good first step in assessing needs. Another scenario to be aware of when self-care and other habits change — it could indicate the onset of Alzheimer’s or a related dementia. If a parent is diagnosed with dementia, adult children need to be more watchful, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to step in with help right at that moment.

Spring Fundraiser Wrap-up

For the past three years, Sterling Presbyterian Manor has teamed up with Tony Smith from Gambino’s Pizza for the community’s annual spring fundraiser. The day is always fun as we greet customers and tell them that a portion of their purchase will go towards the Good Samaritan Program at Sterling Presbyterian Manor. All they have to do is mention Sterling Manor when they place their order. There is no cost to the customer and no cost to us. It’s a win-win! At the end of the day, Tony gives us 20-percent of the total day’s sales. Tony is wonderful to work with and his heart is in helping businesses/groups around town. Plus, Hospice of Gentiva donated this gift basket for our drawing, and the winner was Janet Caywood, the daughter of a resident at Presbyterian Manor. We are so appreciative to everyone who helped with the fundraiser and to Tony and Hospice of Gentiva for their generosity.

Founders Day

Employees and residents at Sterling Presbyterian Manor celebrated Founders Day in April.

Navigating the maze of eldercare options can be challenging.

KU ITV Summer Schedule Wednesday, June 17: Creating Your Lifetime Home Katy Dodd, Lifewise Renovations

Wednesday, July 15: How to talk to Your Doctor Sherry Tedford

This program is about how to When health and mobility issues prepare for your appointment to arise with aging, there are numerous get the most your of the time you renovations that can be made to have with your doctor. create options for staying in your home.

Wednesday, August 12: Basics of Better Balance Deborah Cooke, PT, PhD, Rehabilitation

Director Gentiva Health Services

Balance is a complex process involving almost every part of our body. Good balance helps us stay active and independent. Come learn what makes up our “balanced system” and how to test and train your balance.

Sterling Presbyterian Manor 204 W. Washington Sterling, KS 67579-1614 Return Service Requested

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Coming up in Community Matters:

We’ll be talking about education in an upcoming edition of Community Matters. Were you a teacher or a school administrator? Do you have fond memories of what school was like when you were young? Are you amazed at the changes in schools now that your grandchildren and great-grandchildren are attending?

If you’d like to share your thoughts or memories,contact Cindy Moore to share your idea. Your story may be selected for the next issue of your community newsletter.

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