Commun ty Matters Parsons Presbyterian Manor
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Engaging at Every Age We will be celebrating Older American’s Month and National Nursing Home Week in an upcoming issue of Community Matters. The Older Americans Month theme is “Engage at Every Age.” If you have ways that you are intentionally staying engaged in activities you’ve always loved, using technology or if you just want to tell the world what you love about living in your senior living community, we want to share the story. Contact Lori Sears, marketing director, and your story could be featured in an upcoming edition of Community Matters.
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March 2018
Flexible options give Parsons resident home away from home When Parsons resident Nora Winslow had to return to Parsons Presbyterian Manor after a stay in our PATH® (Post Acute to Home) program, she wasn’t distraught. Rather, she was hopeful.
“Initially, I was here for about three weeks in the PATH program, then went home. But I came down with an illness and needed to come back in here for a while. I even ended up in assisted living for a while as well. But I came out feeling much better than I did when I went in,” said Nora.
she spent in the PATH program. While at Parsons Presbyterian Manor, Nora was able to get the physical, occupational and speech therapy she needed. She says she now feels she is at 100 percent.
Nora Winslow is grateful for the time
“I feel better now than when I first went in because speech therapy taught me to breathe, so I’m not out of breath going room to room,” said Nora. “All of the therapies were very good.”
Nora isn’t the first in her family to have multiple stays at Parsons Presbyterian Manor. Her late husband, Robert, came to stay in 2007 and liked it so much that he came back as a volunteer! He then stayed again in 2009.
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Rooted in Christ
Wayne Mason, Chaplain Harry Hynes Memorial Hospice
Gardening season is fast approaching. I love seeing the flowers bloom, the green grass spreading, and the tilled soil producing its abundance. Soon, my tomatoes will be in the ground and spreading on a trellis to produce their tasty fruit.
I have tilled the soil and prepared it to receive the seed and the plants in order to grow in abundance. But, there is one area of my garden that I will plant only the hardiest of plants which can withstand drought conditions. I will water all the other areas of the garden, ®
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Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Parsons Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of
501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org. Maegen Pegues, executive director Lori Sears, marketing director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact lsears@pmma.org. Telephone: 620-421-1450 Fax: 620-421-1897 Address: 3501 Dirr Ave., Parsons, KS 67357-2220 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values. ParsonsPresbyterianManor.org
but in this one area I have given up. You see, in this one area a maple tree stands nearby and its roots extract all the moisture it can get. Few other plants will grow in that area. Thankfully, I have found one plant which will, and I love that plant. I plant marigolds there. A beautiful flower with a unique fragrance which can withstand the greedy maple roots.
In so many ways, our lives are similar to a garden. We have to adapt to the conditions of life and trust in the One who gives life. He gives us all that we need to live and produce. In the stress filled moments, he gives us the fortitude to move forward. In the ideal conditions, he turns us loose to be productive.
There have been times when I have had to be like those marigolds – tough enough to fight for the best in life, sinking my roots down deep, and producing something good and beautiful. “But blessed is the one who
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trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-9 New International Version)
Prayer:““Lord, help me to trust in you. My foundation is found in you. My sustenance comes from you. I have confidence in life because of your presence in me. When others see me, may they also see you in me. Amen.”
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“He enjoyed it so much he wanted to come back and help. I got familiar with the staff and residents, too, and it felt very comfortable to me,” said Nora. Nora has eight children, 12 grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren.
“Nora’s been just the greatest patient here — so social. She’s made an impact on some of the residents here herself. She’s talked the PATH program up to other residents; she’s just a super sweet lady,” said Lori Sears, marketing director. Nora will be missed, though we’re glad she accomplished her goal of returning home. Nora admits there are things she’ll miss about us, too.
“I’ll miss all the activities, like bingo, exercise, the Daily Grind coffee shop, any trips I was able to go on. It’s bittersweet,” said Nora.
2 COMMUNITY MATTERS MARCH 2018
How to be supportive to friends experiencing loss Loss is an inescapable part of life. Whether we’ve lost someone to death, or are going through a living loss such as divorce, retirement, a life-threatening illness, a debilitating injury or a lifealtering condition like dementia or addiction, support can make all the difference in helping us summon the strength, faith and courage to fight our way back into life.
Although we may want to reach out and lend a hand of support to our friends, family members and colleagues who are grieving, we’re not always sure of how. Most of us could benefit from an advanced course on “Support.” As someone who was worked with bereaved individuals, families and communities for 35 years, I believe that being there for someone in their time of need is one of the most caring, courageous and sacred things we can do. Let this list of “Dos and Don’ts” guide you to say and do the kinds of things that have proven genuinely helpful to those who are grieving:
Do • Express your condolences. A simple, sincere “I’m so sorry for your loss,” a soft hand on a shoulder or a caring hug are usually perfect. • Be present. Stay in touch even when others begin to disappear. • Show you genuinely care through kind words and actions. It’s OK to also show that you care with your tears of sorrow. • Be a safe harbor for others to express their feelings. Allow them to grieve without fear of being judged, analyzed, fixed, cured, saved or healed. • Use your listening skills. Listen patiently, and ask open-ended questions to see how you can be helpful.
• Give grieving individuals every opportunity to talk about those who have passed. If given the chance, you can also tell stories acknowledging the lives of the people they lost. • When they bring up the loss, show them you were listening, and that you genuinely care. • Ask their preferences. Ask them how they would like your support on special dates such as birthdays or “angel-versaries” (days of their passing). • Stay humble, flexible, relaxed and at ease when you’re with those who are grieving. • Assist them in getting the support they need. • Encourage them to ease back in. In the case of grieving colleagues, encourage them to ease their way back into work a few hours at a time until they can handle longer stretches of sustained activity. • Invite them (without the least bit of pressure) to join you for lunch coffee, or a walk. And now, DON’T: • Don’t assume you know how they feel or what they want. • Don’t put a psychological, religious or spiritual spin on their losses. • Refrain from anything that might be interpreted as a “Hurry up.” Don’t tell them, “Time heals all wounds” or any similar types of advice. • Don’t give unsolicited advice or play “shrink” with them. • Don’t compare your loss to theirs. • Don’t suggest a quick fix to take away the pain.
Credit: Adobe Stock
• Don’t take it personally if they’re not responding to you in the way you’d hoped. Remember, it’s not about you! • Don’t be insensitive. Don’t allow your own feelings of helplessness, impatience or intolerance of their continuing sorrow to cause you to say something insensitive. • Don’t ask how they’re doing or pose any other casual question. Tell them they continue to be in your thoughts and prayers. • Don’t control the conversation. Let them take the lead on what they wish to talk about. • Don’t avoid, gloss over, act cute, change the subject or pretend that nothing has happened. • Don’t smother them with too much caregiving attention. • Don’t ignore your own triggers. Don’t hide, deny, repress, avoid, displace, dumb down or “medicate” the feelings of sorrow, anger, or guilt that may have been triggered by their losses. • Don’t make executive decisions about what they need without consulting them. (Editor’s note:This essay is the latest in a series from author and speaker Ken Druck, based on work in his book Courageous Aging, which is about how all people can make peace with, and find joy in, every stage of life.)
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Celebrating National Social Work Month
“They confront some of the most challenging issues facing individuals, families, communities and society, and forge solutions that help people reach their full potential and make our nation a better place to live.”
This description of social workers (from the National Association of Social Workers website) is a highly accurate way to describe these vital service providers, and it’s even more reason to celebrate them all year long, not just during the month of March. Babette Collins has been at Parsons Presbyterian Manor for four years, and her duties as a social worker extend well beyond what most people’s perception might be. “People are really starting to realize 4 COMMUNITY MATTERS MARCH 2018
what I do, but you can put about everything under social services. I definitely feel appreciated, though,” said Babette. “I do everything from pick up new residents from their homes to helping residents get back home after they’ve gone through our PATH (Post Acute to Home) rehabilitation program. It’s full circle.” Not only does Babette help with serving residents directly, she also
coordinates all the services they may need on site. For example, she schedules visits with a podiatrist, a dentist and a mental health professional who come see patients at Parsons Presbyterian Manor. “I don’t just coordinate the outside care, but when the health provider is here, I’m the one that stays with them until everything’s complete. I want to make sure they’re taken care of. I enjoy making sure the residents are healthy and have their needs met. My goal is putting them first and giving them a home-like environment,” she said. We appreciate Babette for all that she does to give residents an improved quality of life, and if you see her during the month of March, be sure to express your appreciation as well!