Farmington Presbyterian Manor
Moments define a life FEBRUARY 2022
Welcome to one of our newest residents, Doris Adolph
Know your neighbor: Doris Adolph On December 16, Farmington Presbyterian Manor welcomed Doris Adolph into its assisted living community. Doris was primarily motivated to make the move in order to alleviate some of the concerns her children had about her living alone. “The steps that went from the kitchen to downstairs were really steep and narrow and my kids worried about me falling down,” said Doris. Beyond those safety concerns, Doris said she really didn’t have a problem being home alone—even during COVID. “I adjusted to being home alone and working my puzzle books, reading and talking by phone. It hasn’t been the fun way to go but it’s been ok,” said Doris. “I’ve never sat around depressed; I just tend to look on the bright side of things—and I have my church family that means everything to me.” Doris was born into a large family in Cape Girardeau County, Mo., who she learned to lean on during difficult times in her life.
Welcome – continued on page 4
By Greg Schmidt, Chaplain
NOTE: Each month, we feature a column from one of PMMA’s community chaplains in honor of our faith-based roots. This month, we’re featuring Greg Schmidt, chaplain for Heart & Soul Hospice in Wichita and Newton Presbyterian Manor. Have you noticed that every Hallmark movie follows the same basic algorithm? Here’s how it goes: A princessdamsel presents with some sort of professional or social dilemma. In walks a socially awkward, wannabe prince-hero who demonstrates the desire to provide support or answers. His advances are, of course, rebuffed. A second “Captain Obvious” prince-snob rises to the challenge, but in his rush to care for the princess, manifests an arrogant, superior, you-know-you-need-me spirit. While at first the princess foolishly longs for the attention of Captain Obvious, ever so slowly over the course of the movie she falls in love with Mr. Wannabe’s cute little nerdy self. They finally kiss (it never happens until the end). The rocket’s red glare engulfs the sky. And they live happily ever after in Mayberry. Or is that Whoville?
Memories – continued on page 3
Get the latest on visitation and COVID-19 at our campus at FarmingtonPresbyterianManor.org/covid-19.
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Farmington campus shares customer service survey results Farmington Presbyterian Manor continues to seek customer feedback through monthly telephone surveys. Each month, residents and their representatives are randomly selected to participate in telephone satisfaction surveys conducted by Pinnacle Quality Insight. The graphic below highlights some of the survey results. All scores are given on a 5-point scale, with 5 being the highest score and 1 the
lowest score. Between December 2020 and November 2021, Farmington Presbyterian Manor residents and their families gave the community high scores in demonstrating dignity and respect, cleanliness and communication. In addition, residents and their families indicated a high likelihood they would recommend the campus to others. “So many things were important. Her safety, that she receive her
medications properly,” one respondent said. “One of the reasons she had to go was a safety issue. It gave me peace of mind more than anything else.” We greatly value the opinions of our residents and their representatives about the care and services we provide, and we encourage them to participate honestly when contacted by Pinnacle Quality Insight. All state and federal confidentiality laws are met in Pinnacle’s service. u
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Community Matters 573-756-6768 ◆ Fax: 573-756-6014 500 Cayce St. Farmington, MO 63640-2910 FarmingtonPresbyterianManor.org
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COMMUNITY MATTERS | February 2022
is published monthly for residents and friends of Farmington Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization.
To submit or suggest articles: kjameson@PMMA.org Jane Hull, executive director Keely Jameson, marketing director
OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.
Memories – continued from page 1 My response to Hallmark’s oversimplification is best stated by Remy, the Disney character in the movie “Ratatouille” who said, “The only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability.” Real life is not simple. Or predictable. It has to be understood over the course of years, not moments. Who knew that the trick to life is living long enough to view unpredictability as your friend? Having said that, it is the “moments” – all added together – that define the life! When family and friends gather for funeral or memorial services, they recount a lifetime of moments otherwise known as “the dash.” The “dash” is that symbol on a tombstone that is centered between the birth and the death. I’m sure your family is like mine and exactly what we remember about someone’s “dash” may differ from person to person, which makes total sense to me, since none of us approach the exact same story or experience at the exact same time, perspective or history. For example, seven members of my wife’s family tried to remember their Grandma Honey’s Christmas tree. We’re talking about 30-50-year-old memories here! And guess what? There were seven strongly held “I specifically remember …” perspectives. Some remembered
a silver tinsel tree illuminated by a multi-colored rotating disc (ahh, the 60s!). Still others remembered a pink flocked tree (ahh, the 70s!). Who was right? They all were! What had to be figured out was what time period was being remembered and/or discussed, because at some point throughout their collective childhood experiences she had both! The greatest joy of being a Hospice Chaplain and a Heart & Soul Hospice Team member is helping families remember – and celebrate! – their loved one’s “dash”! When disputes arise among family members, I try and remind those willing to listen that it really doesn’t matter who is “right” … and that it’s still quite possible no one is “wrong.” Why? Because our memories are about what is precious and inspirational to us individually! Such memories become our foundational and motivational reflections about those we’ve loved. Why is that important? Because all of us want our lives and the lives of those we’ve loved to matter! We want our cherished memories to be about living, not dying … even … or especially when … we’re dying! So, we search for joy and seek to eradicate pain! We look for promise and hope and
peace. And, even when we’re vulnerable, we open our lives to unpredictable people, places, and things hoping they’ll enable us to look up and onward to the things that last forever! Just like in a Hallmark movie when everything turns out for the greater good in the end, so goes the life of promise found in God and in the love found in His people! NEVER let love die! Find joy in other people’s memories! Give it away! Daily! u
Remember the silver Christmas tree that was lit by the color wheel?
Farmington Presbyterian Manor | A PMMA COMMUNITY
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500 Cayce St. Farmington, MO 63640-2910 RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED
Welcome – continued from page 1 “There were nine of us and I’m the youngest,” said Doris. “My dad died when I was 15 months old from typhoid fever, so I never got to know my dad, but my brothers were so good to me. They told me about my dad and helped me.” As an adult, Doris moved to Festus, Mo. where she would meet Byron who would become her husband for 56 years. “My sister lived in Festus and said she knew where I could get a job. So, I interviewed at the bank and got the job right away. I lived with her, which was next door to where Byron lived with his parents,” said Doris.
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Together, Doris and Byron had two sons, two grandsons and seven great-grandchildren before Byron passed away 13 years ago. Doris recently had another health scare in her family when her son, Gary, developed a benign brain tumor. While the surgery to remove the tumor was successful, Gary developed blood clots in his legs and lungs and ended up being unconscious for three months. “We came so close to losing him, but the good Lord took care of that,” said Doris. “He still has some trouble walking, but he gets out, and he was just here recently and doing great.”
COMMUNITY MATTERS | February 2022
In fact, Doris was one of the first people to see Gary when he finally immerged from his coma. “When he was in the hospital, we took turns talking to him—even though he didn’t respond in any way. I was in there when his oldest son came in to say hi, and Gary actually looked his way and smiled. I ran out and got his wife, Cindy, so she could see him.” In her 89 years, Doris has done a lot and shared a lot of love, but she says it hasn’t been anything special—and that’s perfectly fine with her. “I don’t have an exciting, interesting life but it’s been good,” said Doris. u