ISSUE2
Second Issue, Same Old Issues.
In your hands lies the second issue of Plastic Cheese! And the first issue full of contributions sent in from the dark, wet recesses of this town.
If you are new to Plastic Cheese, this is a space for Durham students to publish and promote their creative projects. Whether it be an opinion piece, a short story, poetry or a promotion for an event you are putting on, send it to me and I will put it in the next issue. I have a commitment to publish ANYTHING, no matter the quality, skill, or content, so do not be shy. Through this we can promote variety, individual creativity and the reenergisation of Durham.
By Ben Willows
Over the past few months, life has been stripped back to its barest bones, its essential nature. Free of the things into which we usually directed our attention, the events to look forward to, we are instead forced to face stark existence itself, and say ‘What do I do now?’ This is the same question many students face at Durham, and present are some responses. As well as projects embedded in the stillness of lockdown, here are also ideas of how things can be different afterwards. Isolation can provide us with the distance needed to re-evaluate what we want Durham to be like, and which steps to take to achieve this.
There is creativity to be found, and Plastic Cheese can be the plasticky yellow platform for your creations too. Durham is changing; it is shaking off its old sooty cobwebs. As it trims its overgrown nose hairs, it gains another ear through Plastic Cheese. Here to hear all those who are creating without anywhere to put their creations; anyone looking for support for their movement.
In a place that feels so set on stifling your voice, Plastic Cheese can be your megaphone. We are thankful for those who sent us their views, opinions and ideas, and we look froward to hearing from YOU too.
A Plague With Arms and Legs
Reality takes the form of a bone-bellied boy writhing under the scrutiny of a gargantuan man.
We have the power to jolt it back to life.
Theatre was dying before Covid. Right now, it ’ s at a critical point.
Student writing should be rebellious. I ’ m not saying that every play has to be political. But family dramas, comingofages, comedies, can still shake up the status quo of their worlds, of their genre. Don ’ t be afraid to upset with your choices. Theatre should be irreverent, not respectful. It should be dramatic.
The same for Shakespeare. I hate when people ‘ reimagine ’ Shakespeare. There s’ no need. The imagination is already there. Revitalise. Reignite. Revolt. Fine, contemporise it, but make the setting say something. And make the performances, the characters say something new. Something you.
We can do better. Doing a classic? Great. But inject the same energy into it as you would a bar fight, a night with your dream fuck. Don ’ t put them on pedestals and let them gather dust. Chip away at them until they are again new.
And we can enact it here. Durham has the country ’ s biggest student theatre scene.
It’ s time for some fucking change.
Student theatre is a microcosm of national theatre, so it of course inherits these problems, eagerly guzzling down the vomit of its mummy bird. Our interpretations of the classics are as uninspired, our Shakespeares as predictably bland. But it is student writing which most depresses me. it has the chance to be truly unique, edgy, groundbreaking, experimental, but there are only a handful of people currently achieving that. The rest write dramas that reflect nothing true, but only mirror other uninspired dramas. The same voices over and over, delivering slightly impassioned monologues into the crowd, with neither actor nor audience discovering the new. And by the same voices, I of course mean white and straight. Diversity is making strides in national theatre, but it has not yet reached Durham.
Covid has, temporarily, killed theatre. But theatre was already dying. The same names were giving the same performances of the same old shite, giving nothing new to us, the audience, while we were just expected to blindly clap along. Theatrelovers like myself were so depressed when people dismissed plays as boring, but why shouldn ’ t they? Plays have, largely, become boring. The stage so often fails to excite. Theatres have made a mockery of Shakespeare. Actors deliver the lines with perfect technicality (de dum de dum de dum) and absent emotionality, while producers spin a wheel to pick some derivative setting to try and jam the play into, smashing the wrong key in the wrong lock and expecting the door to open. My sister was once in a Romeo & Juliet set in a fucking circus. The last great original playwriting movement, inyerface theatre, has died, with only some unhappy fewButterworth, McDonaghsurviving. While they have both written some truly new plays in recent years, it is so hard to say the same of others. What was once the sharp blade of original writing has dulled. The revolutionary theatre of the 50s is nowhere to be seen in these plays of occasional glibness, predictable descent into melodrama, and a vaguely uplifting ending. Oh, and a bit of selfcongratulating politicising made from the most uninspiring of liberal platforms. Beckett, Pinter, Osborne, Kane, they all grabbed the status quo by the scruff of the neck and waterboarded itthese playwrights heckle it from outside the theatre.
Counter- Point: Not so Bad?
It's weird because although Durham might be seen as having shit clubs playing the same sets of tunes there is actually a few bits of really neat underground stuff around if you look in the right places. Of course, there could probably be more, and it could probably be embraced by more people, but that might be because you ’ ve never heard of the events going on. So, treat this as a little bit of a guide to get you to the right places. And maybe even as a bit of inspiration … So in the centre of town there is Fabio ’ s. Less well known than you think, and also very hard to find. Plus, the stairs are a fucking nightmare to get up. Anyway, that place is home to nights like Rotate (normally on a Wednesday) playing some pretty sick selections of house / disco / techno and a lot of garage and drums. It ’ s run by some really nice guys and help promote a lot of student DJ stuff which is nice. There ’ s also recently been this thing called Univerzal usually on Mondays. At the moment it ’ s weird and wonderful cuts to listen to while sitting down. They ’ ve also got in a few DJs spinning on vinyl and some live electronic music act called Friends of the Monday Table (I think). Also, back in the past (when people were actually allowed to go out) there ’ s this place called the Prince Bishop Cruiser or something like that. Basically, a lot of independent student run nights are hosted there. For example, Durham ’ s only dedicated aquatic techno night hosted by 1984 Durham goes on there. There aesthetic is like white, with fog machines, and awesome music. Also they ’ ve got some cool underground DJs to come and play from all round the country (if I ’ m not mistaken) –most on vinyl actually. There ’ s also Fractal, the psychedelic night. Basically trippy as fuck dance music with trippy visuals on a boat where everyone is having a mad time. Pretty fun actually. I ’ m not too well versed with the drum and bass scene but there defo is one around. Breakthrough events, Switch up, and a bunch of others (if I ’ m not mistaken). Continental Audio is also a thing (unfortunately could not go to their event in Newcastle but heard it was good). It ’ s nice to know these people personally actually because everyone is really nice and they just wanna put something on for people to have a good time. Honestly there ’ s quite a lot of cool stuff going on, you just need to be put in the right places. By Anon
DEFIBRILATING THEATRE
A little arthropod squirming under a microscope, dreading the moment of further inspection when his legs will be snapped off and his torso peeled open. The lardy man lords over him still, skin bursting with liquid fat pouring from his clothes, undulating with each cackle cascading from his huge jaw. His oppressive body presses onto the infant. Smothered.
I move on. I have to.
I’d hoped I could find solace venturing into the Apulian streets where the thick stones of the Trulli sweat ricotta and honey. Where echoing voices reverberating in the grotesque sunshine should have soothed me with, ‘Cchiù scuru i menzanotti nun pò fari’, but rather, damn me with, ‘Fai bene e scurdatillu, fai mali e ruoddatillu’.
By Severin Baker
So, nothing can revive my gangrenous legs and pulverised bones and swollen brain bursting through the entrapment of veins and brittle skull.
Rigor mortis takes hold.
Don ’ t write to the CEO; Let go of the rope! and shop at Scoop. Let go of the rope! and start your own plastic free packaging company. Let go of the rope! and inform your friends. Action not reaction. Creation not negation. Do not be fooled into thinking you can win the tug of war against the powers that be, for they are only the powers that be because they CREATED something.
Don't like the amount of plastic pasta packaging?
Let go of the rope! and watch the establishment fall. Let go of the rope! and watch the power game dissipate. "The only form of power one can truly wield is the power of action, of affirmation, of creation".
shelter? Art studios? Entrance to a series of underground tunnels beneath Durham? Toilets? The s’world your oyster with this one.
This beautiful early-millennium toilet block is for sale for a great price. Set in a prime location beneath the viaduct, near to Wharton part, this is the perfect location for you to start your newest enterprise. Featuring both male and female en-suites and a basement, this can be anything you make it. Nuclear bomb
OdeToDurham
Dear Durham, If I must listen, to another club remix of Jerusalem, I will cut my ears off. But not even that, will stop it polluting my mind
Cheese belongs on toast and Jerusalem in Israel. Not on the dancefloor. It’s about as fun, as a toaster in the bathtub
So please, help me change it, save my ears and unelectrocute my body.
All I ask for is 174 repetitive beats per minute. And the toaster used for its intended pur-
lift a movement without breaking a sweat. Let go
Begin your own position of moral right. Attack indirectly, attack diagonally, attack with a NonEuclidean strategy. Rhizome over Root. Molecule over Molar. Reroute the flow of power towards a new creative construction. The Ideological battleground is tug of war . So, find a strategy. Why continue pulling on the rope of a beast that is enshrined in culture and solidifies itself in the crevasses of bad minds. By pulling the rope you validate and empower your oppositionespecially when they could dead-
TOILET FOR SALE!
THIS IS A FANTASY. These philosophers are deleuzional. They have got it WRONG. Reconsider your position and hear me out. Just like your mother would tell you, do not retaliate. Just like Gilles Deleuze tells us, do not retaliate. Action will always prevail; reaction is destined to fail. (Did the protests end the war in Vietnam? Why is the path the Cherokees took from their homes still known as the Trail of Tears? THERE ARE STILL TROOPS IN IRAQ). W h y? Protesting is reactive, not active. By protesting you are assuming a position of insubordination. "I am against X!". Instead, assume dominance , "I am for X!". Do not legitimise the position of moral wrong.
D&G: Deleuze and Gabbana Here is a reality check for you. You're doing it wrong; you're helping the wrong team; you're scoring an own goal. Tit for tat (well that ’ s what we thought). When thesis meets antithesis there's synthesis. If you listen to Hegel (you shouldn't) you will know that action is always met with REACTION. Back and FORTH. They punch so you punch them BACK. Don't worry, the tides WILL change if you just retaliate. Protest and cause disobedience! ASBO baby! Join the radical club and seize those means of production. Take back what ’ s rightfully yours and join the revolution. Marx and his epi gones are telling you to take to the streets and riot. STOP. DON ’ T.
A rival? No, a comrade. This is another zine run by another Durham student Grace Marshall. It’s beautifully designed, and is home to the author’s esoteric musical knowledge, as well as your monthly song horoscope. Can be found at the bottom of the DOMAN monthly newsletter.
Agony Aunt
Come to me with your fantasies
Come to me with your doubts, Come to me with you conundrums And I’m sure to figure them out.
New! Plastic Cheese’s Agony Aunt. Text 07713916053 your bedroom frustrations for Auntie Estelle’s advice.
Promo!
Text CHEESE to 07944286292 to be in with probably very high chance of winning a Plastic Cheese Kustom Keyring.
No Ts&Cs. None. At all.
Are you are in a band, or written some poetry? Maybe you're hosting something in your basement? Or perhaps you just have something to say? Let me know and I’ll put you in the next edition of Plastic Cheese. I’ll take pretty much anything, as long as its original. (That way, you can be a published author, and I don’t have to write as much.)
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Email: pgvt82@durham.ac.uk Insta: @plastic_cheese_mag
By Eva Moss
Friesan Zine