Eviction to Empowerment

Eviction to Empowerment

Addressing these challenges in a meaningful way will require political will and response from all three levels of government.

Fast, frequent, and free public transit will shift how people move, reduce household costs, and enable a giant leap forward on meeting our climate goals.

It’s been a busy couple of weeks.

Queer and gender-diverse people have always existed, and not talking about us won’t make us go away.

Immigrants should not be subjected to blame for an issue caused by poor public policies and unregulated capitalist practices.

Hidden Gems

Surrey campus’ secret snacks

From sounds sweet like flowing waterfalls, to the screech of squeaky wires rigged through pedals working in harmony to enhance the effects, and the rhythms of what could only be the backbeat of a night at the club, Afrorack showed us that making any sound is possible from any ordinary object.

Vancouver also saw some shifts in their defensive core, as fan-favourite Nikita Zadorov was picked up by the Boston Bruins in free agency.

QUIZ: Which are you?

ILLUSTRATIONS: Cliff Ebora / The Peak

MOO DENG

Michelle Young • Copy Editor

1 2

Your Blenz order (warm milk) is wrong. You: A rando is throwing small objects at you. You:

a) Spit it out immediately.

b) Despite the barista’s apology and offer to remake your drink, you insist on talking to the manager and lecture them about how you can tell there are one too many syrup pumps in there. You can literally only drink milk, after all.

c) Sip it and walk out.

3 4

You finish doing your business on the toilet, but are shocked to feel a splash of water hitting your butt. You:

a) Scream and burst out of the stall in horror.

b) Report it immediately and complain about the potential bacterial risks of using a public bidet.

c) Allow the bidet to do its job, and curiously examine it afterwards.

If you answered mostly As, you are

a) Run (or bounce) away.

b) Attempt to bite them. To your dismay, you can’t reach.

c) Relocate your nap. You know they will be sued and fined — as they should be!

You’re scrolling on Instagram and notice that @simonfraseru has posted about you without your consent. You:

a) Instantly drop your phone on the ground.

b) Report the account and post a story about the importance of asking for permission before posting pictures of other people (and hippos) online. There needs to be boundaries.

c) Read the comments before using your toes to keep scrolling on your feed.

If you answered mostly Bs, you are

If you answered mostly Cs, you are

ALARMED CALM MOO DENG

You are always alarmed and who can blame you? The world is full of overstimulating chaos: getting wet and being picked up is scary and unpleasant. Just keep screaming.

You want to bite everyone you come into contact with, and whether you do this out of love or not is debatable. You hold petty grudges and run away at minor inconveniences. I would say that you need to learn to express yourself better before you become a menace to society, but I don’t think that’s realistic. Chomp.

You are at peace. No one can derail your stay-at-home-for-the-week plans because you won’t let them. You love to lay around and pretend to eat grass. You are always moisturized and ready to show off those gorgeous pink cheeks. Go get ‘em.

Dear Peakie,

We have officially begun the season where SFU Burnaby gets permanently enveloped in a deep fog. I’ve been told this is just the clouds, but are you sure it’s not SFU spending all our tuition money on hidden fog machines?

Sincerely, Is it a conspiracy if it’s true?

Dear Is it a conspiracy if it’s true?,

That is an amazing question, one I cannot answer. I am bound by the laws of the SFU Coven to refrain from providing any information regarding this conspiracy. I fear for my safety, and my cat, Tuna, is at stake now that I’ve written back to you. However, dear writer, I shall not leave you without thought. Have you ever thought about why SFU is built upon a mountain? Why is it all grey and made from concrete? Why or how there is a body of water in the middle of the AQ? As you ponder, please “Listen” to what I am saying. Our lives may have a “Countdown.”

“End of Time,” Peakie

Dear Peakie,

Misinformation is rampant on my campus! The same tricks I used to use to get my parents to sign permission slips are now being used on me to sign shady petitions. People are approaching me while I’m distracted, putting a pen in my hand and moving my hand for me. When I tried to call them out, they promised me free trips. How do I fight back against these villains?

Best, Certified “meddling kid”

Dear Certified “meddling kid,”

The leaves change colour, and people watch flicks. It’s now October, why don’t you have tricks? Ghost and witches have a mission, as do the people with their petitions. It’s spooky season, use that to your advantage! Host a seance, use a Ouija board, I don’t care! But the possibilities are endless. Whatever you do, don’t feel bad. You think they feel bad when they’re making you sign a petition, and next thing you know, you’re on the news because your name is affiliated with a group that’s trying to eat Moo Deng?!?! HELL NAH! JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL!! Anyways, yeah that’s my suggestion; use paranormal activities to smoke their asses!

Make sure you pray after, Peakie

Dear Peakie,

I’m currently sitting in a public space trying to do some school work. HOWEVER, everyone around me won’t stop talking! Don’t they see my laptop? My headphones? My studious face? I’ve tried giving them my most vigorous librarian shhhhhhhh, but everyone just stared back at me and then kept having their little conversations. Please help me.

Academically, Centre of the universe

Dear Centre of the universe,

The people around you probably don’t know they’re being loud. As you shush them they’re prob like “What’d I do?” This is a tricky case because people don’t know the presence that they’re in. I say, tell them who’s boss. Channel your inner Trina Vega, and let everyone know who they’re messing with. Get up on that table and yell; let them know who’s in charge. Sing, dance, heck maybe even start throwing stuff. You just need to assert your dominance. Once you do that, it’s game over baby. Say goodbye to the talking, and hello to the — hear that? Exactly. Silence.

Ur welcome, Peakie

October 14–20

Aries March 21–April 19

The second the clock strikes 12 on September 1, you never miss a beat to run to your local coffee shop for a pumpkin spice latte. Maybe it’s an obsession, but who cares? The stars can tell that even if your wallet disagrees, you’ve found your motivation to wake up, go to school, work, anything. But tone it down a bit; trying to find a temporary “rebound” winter flavour will be hard with your overpowering infatuation.

Cancer June 21–July 22

Since Instagram came about in 2010, your account has gone through all the aesthetic phases. Christian Girl Autumn is no exception. Your feed consists of daily pictures of pumpkins, lattes, and anything else that gives off autumn vibes. The stars urge you to look up from admiring your profile once in a while, especially when you’re driving. At least the orange “road closed ahead” sign matches your feed.

Libra September 23–October 22

You need to learn some patience, October only just started and you’re already reposting about how there’s only 80 days until Christmas. Your clock is three months in advance, seeing as you ordered mini pumpkins and spider webs in July. The stars recommend using this method for your lectures as well, you’d be on the president’s honour roll at this rate.

Capricorn December 22–January 19

Your favourite part of this season is throwing on pyjamas to school and calling it a fit, maybe even bringing along a plushy and blanket because why not. Coincidentally you might also have a bad sleep schedule, but at least you’re a coffee addict! Otherwise, the stars don’t clearly read you staying awake very long during midterms.

Taurus

April 20–May 20

Your fall photoshoots are cute; they’re just missing the “it” factor. Try switching it up once in a while, maybe climb a tree or do some no-handed cartwheels. The stars predict you’ll be contacted by a modelling agency in no time.

Leo July 23–August 22

The mention of anything fall-related around you is dangerous. You’re really into seasonal DIY in a Disney Adult way. Here are some future tips from the stars: not everything needs to taste like pumpkin, so throw those pumpkin spice sausages away.

Scorpio

October 23–November 21

Not everyone falls in love in October, so maybe it’s time to focus on those grades instead. It’s been three years of you reposting “October will be my month” to the point where the stars might personally find you someone. It’s written that your November might actually be your month, not sure if it’s 2024 though.

Aquarius January 20–February 18

You either need to stop giving Tinder dudes a chance or find a new spot, because the pumpkin patch is officially run through. Every year, you put in all the effort for a cute date at a pumpkin patch with matching outfits and a petting zoo, and the energy is almost never reciprocated. The stars predict a reaction by taking your next date to Fright Nights, it’s way more engaging when you’re screaming in terror — even if you’re screaming at the length of those neverending lineups!

Gemini May 21–June 20

You live and breathe Halloween, so you’re in prep mode for spooky season. After breaking the bank at the Spirit Halloween outside of Surrey Campus, you’ll spend autumn experimenting with multiple DIY costumes. Honestly, the stars give you their tens; just maybe hold off the skeleton makeup during 8:00 a.m. exams. Sleep-deprived students won’t react well to the cosplay of their sleep paralysis demon.

Virgo August 23–September 22

Your nail game was always on fleek, coordinated to seasons or events, but lately, your sets have been getting too unoriginal for your liking. Try showing your devotion to Christian Girl Autumn by using real leaves and drops of chai cold foam under your clear acrylics. Sure, it may cause a lot of irritation, but the stars predict your head will be back in the game.

Sagittarius

November 22–December 21

This is it, your time to be different from all the others. You act like Señorita Awesome, finding some way to complain about simple joys like pumpkin patches and fall photoshoots. The stars are straight up telling you to get your act together before Halloween because you’re no fun!!

Pisces February 19–March 20

Hello Kitty girlies who are excited for the autumn vibes, a Winners would hate to see you coming. In your mind, all you can think of are the amount of people you can trample for some limited edition Hello Kitty blanket. Using your woollen scarf to slingshot to the back of the store to check every crack, crevice, and “coming back for it later” stash for any merch you can get your hands on. As long as you’re not a Depop reseller, your stash’s safety from the TikTtok Sanrio girlies is guaranteed for this season.