For the Love of Working Out Putting in the Work for Results A Light in the Dark Rod Thomas’ Disco-Laden Third Album Deliciously Deviant Creating a Black Queer Safe Space
6050 Dawson Blvd, Ste O Norcross, GA 30093 MANAGING
FROM THE EDiTOR
Brian
Jeff
EDITORIAL
These days, with a raging pandemic, a movement towards eradi- cating racial injustice and ending police violence, and a political arena submerged in divisive rhetoric, our mental well-being is being challenged, to say the least.
Peach’s health issue focuses just as much on the physical aspects as the mental aspects of a healthy life. Because as the world and the year 2020 has put us all under an unprecedented stress test, it is pretty evident that physical and mental well-being and health go hand in hand.
So, namaste, Peaches, take a deep breath, and enjoy this issue of Peach.
BLACK LIVES MATTER
MiKKEL HYLDEBRANDT
Editorial Director | IG @hyldebrandt
Brian
Chris
OUT ON FiLM
The 33rd annual Out On Film returns with another massive year of LGBTQ cinema and lmmakers worldwide and our backyard.
This year, the 11-day film festival is virtual due to the pandemic - except for one in-person drive-in movie event - but that hasn’t slowed festival director Jim Farmer and the Out On film team and board down to collect more than 125 selections of LGBTQ contemporary cinema, including narrative features, documentaries, short films, and web series.
This is the first year that Out On Film is an Oscar® qualifying film festival, which means that the film that wins the Best Drama Short award will be eligible for consideration for the Best Live Action Short Academy Award®.
To align with safety and health guidelines, Out On Film is launching a virtual theatre where all films will become available to stream in your own home’s privacy and safety. You can either buy an all-access pass or tickets for individual showings.
Stay tuned for a special viewing presented by Peach – more details to come!
WHAT
The 33rd Annual Out On Film WHEN September 24 to October 4
WHERE
Go to outon lm.org to access the virtual theatre. You can buy an all-access pass or tickets for individual showings.
Deliciously
When Micah created the Deviant parties in 2019 – a circuit party mainly or queer people of color – he wanted to apply the knowledge he gained from his Sociology studies at Georgia State with his own experiences as both a sexual and racial minority. Now, because of the pandemic, it has developed into a broadcast on Instagram called DeviantTV. We caught up with Micah Marquez to talk about how it all began and where it is headed.
Tell us about the background for Deviant.
My professors at Georgia State always told me that the most practical application of my life’s experience would lead to business expertise. They were right! It seems befitting then that Deviant LLC was born. With Deviant, I came to the truest, most authentic parts of myself as a black queer man and created a space that I thought my demographic lacked: a circuit party. A space where racial minority men could be free of hyper-masculinity, religious ridicule, and standards of classist respectability politics. I’ve never been in a space curated for and by people of color that was proudly sex-positive, body-positive, and queer. Only in circuit parties have I felt an amazing sense of agency and freedom from societal pressures, and I wanted all our community to feel that. So Deviant was born in October 2019.
the ways you’ve always been taught are “not right for boys.” You wear pink, leather, lace, mesh, or anything that folks once chastised you against. You actively reclaim the words: “That’s so gay” that were once used to ridicule you. You embrace queer identity, and in its fullness – finally, you are proud to be different.
The DeviantTV video podcast series is targeted to queer people of color (and to those who celebrate and support them), and it touches upon a variety of subjects within this group. Tell us about the development of the series and some of the topics you talk about.
We always said we were more than a party, and when COVID occurred, it pushed us into proving it. With our DeviantTV broadcast, we’ve taken the opportunity to discuss queer POC politics in depth. Queer POC in the Civil Rights Movement, Sex-Positivity, BodyBy
Deviant is not a sex party or a kink fest, but rather an opportunity to get uncomfortably authentic to one’s most fun and flamboyant self. You dress in
Positivity, Sex-Workers Rights, BDSM, Decriminalization of Recreational Drugs, the Bisexual Erasure, Mental Health, Queer Dating, and
Parenting Queer Kids have all been topics of discussion in this first season of DeviantTV.
You and your co-host Ash-A-Ley (@deviantFemme) don’t shy away from sharing your personal experiences. How has it been sharing the intimate details of your life in this way?
It has been quite an experience having to be vulnerable at times on DeviantTV. I’m naturally a private person, and secretly an introvert, so there are times when I’ve gotten emotional while sharing my personal stories. But I knew it was necessary, so I don’t regret anything. It’s time we start sharing, so no one has to feel alone in their hardships of coming out, being disowned, experimenting with drugs or participating in survival sex, or some form of sexwork.
That is the power of communication. When we put our life experiences, feelings, and philosophies into words, we stand a greater chance of relating to one another. My being vulnerable in this way is an attempt to uplift the most oppressed (be it silenced or ignored) in our communities.
Let’s turn to the Deviant events (all put on hold for now during the pandemic). They are a safe space for queer people of color where they can break free from the norms they’ve had to learn to survive a homophobic, racist, and transphobic society. Why do you think a space like that is so crucial in this moment?
You’ve got it! A safe space for queer people of color is so necessary. Constantly wearing phony personas at work, at home, and
throughout our community can be exhausting. It’s imperative that we have an opportunity to exhale all the bullshit and just be. Deviant is a space for queer people of color to be themselves fully, and we welcome all allies. What we don’t welcome are those items you just named: racism, xenophobia, homophobia, femme-phobia, slut-shaming, fat-phobia, transphobia, and misogyny must stay outside of our doors. Shame and violence are the two ways to get easily expelled from our parties. It is a sacred space for folks to let go of social norms and pressures, and it only lasts a few hours.
What were some of the most challenging subjects you talked about on DeviantTV?
The episode on Protecting Queer Kids, I shared a personal testimony from when I was once disowned from home, and I got super emotional while sharing. It is a difficult time for me to reflect on in general and so it was certainly difficult for me to share. On set, I found myself getting choked up, holding back tears, and needing water to calm myself. That trauma response was evidence of real trauma, and that (being disowned) is an experience that so many in our community have gone thru. That’s why I push on. It’s never really about me. This broadcast is about US: healing, learning, growing, loving, living more healthful, safer, and happier. Deviant is for and about US.
The episode of advocacy to Decriminalize Recreational Drugs was a challenge also. I left feeling like I didn’t do well enough in connecting with my audience. I didn’t want to take on a tone that encouraged people to experiment, but instead advised people to be safe and do research before they ever make the choice to experiment. The medium between trying to beat out stigma and not being accused of encouraging controversial (and illegal) substances was difficult for me to reach.
Nonetheless, later on, I recalled the context that I wished I had included. That is The racist history of Reagan’s “War on Drugs” that tore apart communities of color. Many in our communities lost uncles, fathers, brothers, and friends to substances that were not home-grown, but rather brought into our communities and used by our beloved neighbors and family members for escapism. They lived in povertystricken neighborhoods and under the steady tyranny of racism. The War on Drugs welcomed police brutality to people who already lacked resources, aid, and hope. Our communities were not met with addiction or intervention facilities, but rather ripped apart by police, as we lost millions to brutality and incarceration. Those same narcotics, now troubling rural and suburban white communities, are seen as a health crisis, and the addicts are seen as victims instead of criminals. That is the way it should be now and should have always been for communities of color too.
… and some of the most fun?
The episode on Queer Dating was one that I didn’t have to do much research on, and I got the chance to show my personality finally. I’m a bit of a spoiled brat, but eh- What can I say? It’s me, and it was fun and funny just to be honest about my expectations in dating in that episode.
Where can we find DeviantTV – and when’s the next party?
DeviantTV can be found on Instagram: @micah_ marquez, @deviantEvents, and @deviantFemme. The next Deviant Event is coming right here to ATLANTA, on Friday, October 30! We’re hosting a Halloween-theme circuit party here in Atlanta, at 595 North Ave, in West Midtown. It’s perfect because masks are required as a safety precaution against Covid-19, and masks are normal attire for this holiday.
Go to Deviant-Events.com to keep yourself updated on the next event, follow @micah_marquez, @deviantEvents, and @deviantFemme for the latest DeviantTV broadcast.
A Bright Light in the Dark
By Chris Azzopardi
Photos: Warren Piece
The name Rod Thomas might not be instantly recognizable, but it’s likely you’ve come across the one he uses on stage. As Bright Light Bright Light, Thomas has been a staple of the international LGBTQ music scene for the last 10 years, performing for Cher on the European leg of her 2019 tour and collaborating on a song with Elton John. The independent Welsh singer-songwriter’s latest album, Fun City , is awash in the queer make-up of disco culture, fi ttingly corralling a roster of LGBTQ notables including Andy Bell of Erasure, Jake Shears, Justin Vivian Bond and Sam Sparro.
Leading up to its release, what’s been the day-to-day of getting this album out?
It’s been trying to rethink the whole presentation of it because it’s very LGBTQ+ focused. What I’ve been working on with my agent this last year-and-a-half is touring with other queer artists and going to smaller spaces in different cities and working with LGBTQ+ local artists and drag performers. We wanted to make it like “Soul Train circus comes to town” and also highlight local LGBTQ+ businesses, organizations and charities and really use it to expand on the story of the record, which is respect for queer culture.
are so exhausted by online presence and online events that I just don’t think it’s going to have any impact, so I really do think it needs to happen when there’s people in a room. Online there’s just so much white noise that you can’t really cut through, especially if you don’t have the budget of a Dua Lipa or Miley Cyrus – who I love. But the minute they put out a song then that kind of dominates the gay male focus.
Your song with Justin Vivian Bond, “Saying Goodbye Is Exhausting,” is really touching. What can you say about that song?
Not being able to do that this year has been kind of depressing because it really was meant to be much more than this album, like before it was hip to be fucking amplifying people’s voices the whole point of this record was to shine a light on artists that people overlook or local talent that people don’t really get a chance to hear about. Not really being able to do that properly felt just a bit sad. Hopefully next year I can take that on the road and do it then, if any of these venues are still open.
Have you thought about a way to reconfigure your plan for a virtual audience?
I don’t think it’s very effective. I really don’t think it is. I think people
I feel like a big part of gay life is losing people too young, and that’s about a friend. I don’t often write that kind of lyric about personal loss, but that is about a friend who died two years ago and was 33, 34 years old. Throughout time people have been murdered by homophobes, but also with the AIDS crisis and everything that LGBTQ+ people have gone through, it has been watching their contemporaries or their friends or their family die too young.
Even during the last three weeks we’ve seen Black person after Black person murdered, trans woman after trans woman murdered. Saying goodbye and watching these people disappear is absolutely exhausting when people have the power to stop it and literally nobody that it doesn’t affect gives a fuck and it’s just unforgivable. I don’t understand where the compassion in society has gone. Even if you were the shittiest white person living, how do you not understand that watching person after person die is exhausting?
I remember reading that you’re a mood board person. What did your mood boards look like for this album? Oh, fucking mental. (Laughs.) It was really mental. Let me see if I can fi nd it. I think I have it. I still keep printouts of everything.
You should. Yeah, I do. My apartment is a lunatic asylum.
Well, you’re an artist. Let’s go with that, yeah. (Laughs.) One of the boards is: Eyes of Laura Mars . Body Double The Stepford Wives Escape from New York . Party Girl . Silence=Death and the pink triangle. Showgirls . And Sylvester’s live album cover. I wanted it to feel like it sort of spoke to or about different parts of queer culture that I’ve really learned a lot from or was really inspired by through the years, so I kind of hope it does that in some loose way. Also, on a lighter note: Big Trouble in Little China . After Hours . Cat People . Blade Runner . Sweet Charity , with Shirley MacLaine.
How does Showgirls fit into the vibe of the album? Delusion. (Laughs.)
Do you usually reference a lot of films when you’re making music?
Yes, it’s mostly fi lm that I reference, honestly. Looking at references makes me want to make a song that sounds like those images, and I fi nd that much more inspiring than a playlist of songs because fi lm speaks to me a little bit more and teases images out in my brain.
after that because it was a particularly special fi lm. When I was thinking about what to call myself with my manager at the time, that is the fi rst thing that came into my head. I thought, “God, that’s pretty shit,” but then I couldn’t think of anything better, and it kind of stuck. I liked that it alluded to dance fl oors and nightlife and electricity and electronic music. It just seemed to work. And I’m a huge fan of the Gremlins franchise, so that defi nitely works for me too.
And I read that the title was inspired by a comment made by former NYC mayor John V. Lindsay on his first day in office in 1966, amidst a crippling transit strike. Is that right?
Yeah, it was. Basically when he took over on his fi rst day of offi ce the whole city fell to shit and it was a disaster. There was a transit strike and the lights went out and everyone just lost their minds and one of his adversaries was like, “Oh, so you’re still happy to be the mayor?” And he was like, “I still think it’s a fun city.”
So I kind of took the idea of this very fl awed paradise and applied that to how queer people have had to live the whole time. It’s like, you move to LA, New York, Atlanta, whatever is your city, to escape the suburbia you’re not safe in. But then you get to the city, which has things like other gay people, nightlife, sex, glamour, jobs. It has everything. But you also have the prejudice and the danger and the Delusion. (Laughs.) of
so (Laughs.) honestly myself and strike and everyone was city.” how safe then other gay have and
While we’re on the topic of film, what made Gremlins special to you that you named yourself after the Gizmo line “bright light, bright light”? (Laughs.) I honestly don’t know. I don’t think I named myself
need to keep both eyes open all the time whilst remembering to celebrate yourself and have fun. So Fun City , for me, is like this place that you aspire to live in. But it’s also a doubleedged sword because it could be your downfall.
Did you personally experience this?
Yeah. Where I grew up is absolutely not tolerant of gay people. When I was young I grew up in the middle of nowhere, in like an old coal mining valley in South Wales, which was homophobic. So, for me, it was going to London and then moving from London to New York; it’s like chasing the best version of yourself and finding a place that allows you to be the best version of yourself with the people you want to be surrounded by.
Has disco and dance music been a catharsis for you? Dance, yeah. The whole ethos of disco from my understanding is: dancing through pain, or singing through turmoil, or celebrating through adversity. So referencing that in relation to what I wanted to talk about with the record felt kind of right to me. A lot of gay culture was born and bred from the love of disco music, and the joy and togetherness it inspired is still very much at the heart of LGBTQ+ aculture.
As editor of Q Syndicate, the LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi
For the Love of Working Out
By Darren Floro-Bryant
Workout photos courtesy of DFB Fitness
I love working out. I love fitness. It makes me feel good. It is my reward to myself, my space to be myself. Working out and fitness helps me de-stress, and it is all mine. Whether it is weight training, jogging/running, yoga, or even walking, it is something that I consciously choose to do, and I choose to do it for me.
Working out, training, exercise, fitness - whatever you want to call it, is a choice, and it is not easy. The practice and the routine become somewhat easy, but it is always work. Sometimes it is enjoyable, but all of it is work and takes practice, patience, and a few other things that not many people consider.
Whenever I talk with a new client, a potential new client, a friend, or even an acquaintance about fitness or exercise, I always ask them to sit down with themselves and ask themselves what they want from their training. What they truly want. Not goals exactly, but what they want out of it. Some things I hear a lot: to get abs, to lose weight, to get a bigger chest or arms (or any body part), to squat more, to eat better, to look better naked, to feel better. Regardless of these examples, I then ask them if they are prepared for the work involved to get there?
that there is going to be work involved.
They also have to understand that with every give, they must take something away.
Wanting abs is a good example of this one. In order to get abs, the client is going to have to accept that there will be work involved in the form of exercise and food choices, and you are going to have to take away some food choices you’ve probably been making. This is not going to be easy, but these are things that must be considered if abs are truly the goal. If they’re not willing to put in the give AND take, they will need to ask themselves, “do they truly want abs?”
I try to have a conversation with them about the journey and four specific topics. First, I talk with them about “give and take,” then I talk to them about forgiveness. I talk with them about selfacceptance. And I talk with them about failure.
When I talk with them about give and take, I try to help them understand that whatever they want, there will be something that they have to give themselves. Usually, that is the awareness
Forgiveness is a tough one to sell. Especially when it comes to forgiving one’s self. We are our own worst critics. I talk about forgiveness because we all stray from the path on occasion and understand that that is ok. It is much healthier and easier to find your way back once you understand and accept this.
Let’s say you’re trying to lose weight, but you find yourself out at a birthday party, and they start serving cake. You give in to temptation, and you decide to take the biggest piece. Rather than abandoning what you’ve been working towards, accept it, and move on. Or if this decision has sent you in a tailspin of bad choices, take a step back understand that this situation is now done and you cannot change it. What you can do is make decisions from that exact point in time to get yourself back on track by forgiving yourself. It is work, and sometimes work is hard.
When I talk with them about self-acceptance, I try to tie that in with forgiveness. They may seem
like that same thing, but they are actually quite different. Like forgiveness, self-acceptance is also a hard sell, if not harder. Self-acceptance is a lot more than just how we see ourselves internally or in the mirror. Self-acceptance allows us to be present and confident with where we are on our fitness journey. It needs to be present when we are out in social situations, and there are tough decisions to make.
Let’s use the birthday party scenario again. This time it is just before they are about to serve the cake. You are serious about sticking to your goal, and you have been training regularly and watching what you eat. You get asked if you would like some cake... this is when the internal dialogue starts, but also the external chatter. If you choose to have cake, friends will probe you about your fitness journey, and some might try to guilt you for eating the cake. Conversely, if you choose NOT to have cake, people will comment and make you feel guilty about not eating the cake. Self-acceptance is now key. YOU get to make the choice. YOU get to have the power no matter what the choice. This is why forgiveness and self-acceptance are talked about together. It is your path, your journey, no one else’s. You don’t need to justify your decision to anyone but yourself.
Lastly, I talk with them about failure. I explain to my clients that they are making some pretty big changes in their life. I discuss with them that nothing is a failure, rather a stepping stone. I try to get them to see these as markers rather than failures. This allows you to reevaluate and think about how to change or grow.
Weight lifting is a good way to explain this. If a client wants to increase the weight they are pressing for a dumbbell bench press, I need to push them to the point of failure to know where they are at. Also, it helps me to evaluate their progress and potential. If we don’t have these “failures,” we never know how to improve and
grow. Failure is an opportunity to pick ourselves back up again and find ways to move ahead.
Now, after discussing all of this with them, they can then start their journey. I work with them to continually tackle and reevaluate where they are at. I help them assess obstacles or bumps in the road they have encountered, to see how they handle them. It’s something I encourage them to revisit on a weekly or monthly basis.
Asking these questions and discussing these things with my clients helps them understand how personal and individual this journey is.
Working out or fitness is hard work and never stops being hard work. But it’s worth it, and I love connecting with my clients and friends about this. The point that I’ve gotten to now is that I like the hard work, and I revisit all of the questions I discuss with my clients or friends, with myself, to be able to relate.
Working out, training, exercise, fitness - whatever you want to call it, is a choice, and it is not easy. And even though it is hard work, I love working out. I love fitness. It makes me feel good. And it is fun! Every day I make this choice, and I love that I choose to do it for me. And I love seeing others choose this for themselves, as well.
Darren Floro-Bryant is originally from Ontario, Canada, but now lives and works in Atlanta, GA. Darren has worked as a certified Group Fitness Instructor, Fitness Coach, and Personal Trainer for more than 25 Years. Currently, he owns DFB Fitness and Foundation Fitness, operating out of Gravity Fitness.
A Quick Full-Body Power Workout
Short on time? Try this quick full-body workout that will have you in and out of the gym in no time.
What you’ll need Adjustable bench
Pair of light DB [dumbbells] (10-12 lbs.)
Pair of medium heavy weight DB [dumbbells] (35-40 lbs.)
Pair of medium weight DB [dumbbells] (20-25 lbs.)
Here We GO!
Arms (With the light DB)
Standing Hammer Curls, 12 Reps / Bent Over Tricep Kickbacks, 12 Reps
Do 3 sets of each back to back (no rest)
25 Body Weight Squats
Upper Body
Standing Front Raise, 12 Reps (light DB)
Incline DB Chest Press, 12 Reps (heavy DB)
Standing Side (Lateral) Raise, 12 Reps (light DB)
Seated “W” Shoulder Press, 12 Reps (medium DB)
Bent-Over Reverse Fly, 12 Reps (light DB)
Single Arm DB Row, 12 Reps/arm (1 of the heavy DB)
Repeat 3x
25 Body Weight Squats
Arms (With the light DB)
Standing Hammer Curls 12 Reps / Bent Over Tricep Kickbacks, 12 Reps
Do 3 sets of each back to back (no rest)
Good luck and ENJOY!
Photos by Snow
BLACK LIVES MATTER
Photos by Snow
Photos by Snow
As a holistic practitioner and new member of the Atlanta community, Chris brings a sense of good energy to the city. He does massage therapy, meditation, yoga, and healing modalities like Sound Meditation/Sound Baths – you may have heard about his business, Wise Wolf Wellness. Chris loves Atlanta and all that it has to offer, like the broad community of people. Making new connections and friendships has been the best part of being in Atlanta so far! For fun, he loves his garden and being outdoors, listening to music, dancing, and putting on a little leather to go out to the bars!
Is It Just Me?
By Jamie Kirk
I am convinced it is not just me struggling daily with losing my rhythm. I feel like at any moment I could lose it, all of it. Whatever “it” is. I feel like I could lose my relationship, job, closest friendships, car, and health. I know I over-use this word, but we are in some wonky times. I keep waiting for the alarm clock to go off; I wake up and realize this was all a dream, well nightmare.
Most everyone I know is putting on a brave face. Many people are beginning to get back to the gym, eat inside restaurants, going bowling, etc. Office buildings are rotating in teams, and many colleges are rocking and rolling with classes in session. Businesses outside of the line-of-sight of Major Keisha Lance Bottoms are allowing customers to shop without a mask on. And radio and news stations are starting to go back into the studio. Based on all these positive steps, one would think we would be getting back to steady-state.
Although many days our lives feel like a light switch, it feels like at any given moment, someone else is holding the remote and is in control of our mood and sanity. It is a very uncontrollable feeling to feel like you are not in control of your mood and that someone else can regulate our highs and lows. We could wake up, attend a spin class, or a rowing class, and be in great spirits, and within an hour of being up, we see a news crawler on CNN that tells us of yet another arrest of a black or brown person using extreme force was used or perhaps the poll numbers in key swing states. Such a crappy way to kick start your day.
The anxiety and stress that we have to digest and compartmentalize daily is, on some days, incomprehensible. We have to be able to seek out information, share information, and reject information regularly. This takes some mental headspace. There is so much going on right now that a feeling of being
overwhelmed has become standard. When things are unstable, chaos is brewing, and we struggle with being grateful, that is not acceptable. We can’t get in the habit of feeling like we are in a rat face or on a hamster wheel. When we can’t get out of the pattern of feeling down or not being settled, it can spiral very quickly into an acceptable pattern, and before we know it, we have accepted this as a new “normal.”
Finding something to keep us grounded during these wonky times is a MUST. And I don’t mean anything revolving around social media, which is a huge contributor to some of our levels of stress. We have access and insight into our friends and family like never before. We can judge, critique, observe, comment, balk, and even unfollow people in our lives. Social media gives us a false sense of reality, causing our brains to get confused, coupled with our current unbelievable sense of reality. When our brains get confused, we become stressed out and make bad decisions. Our decisions that should be made with thought, data, proof, or history get thrown out of the window, and we become reactionary. Social media puts thoughts in our heads that are not healthy. We get into our own heads and begin to overthink situations. We begin to have thoughts in our heads about ourselves and our situations that aren’t true.
When I speak of being grounded, that can be a hobby, a vacation, or an online class—something to disconnect us from “reality.” Connecting with friends and family (REAL friends and REAL family) can be just what the doctor orders to reset our lives. Our mental health is important to maintain. When we do not put our mental health first and allow outside influencers to intercede, bad things will happen. A healthy mental state means bringing down the walls of stigma by sharing with friends and family or perhaps a professional, experiences, stories, and truths. I bring up sharing because that is so important as it relates to our ability to connect with people that deserve to know our story. Mental health is about not only educating ourselves but for others around us.
In addition to being grounded, we have to avoid the pitfalls/landmines that others plant in our way. We have to be able to not feed into negative text group messages, negative news stories, or reading information that is not aligned with how you want to start or end your day. We have the power to say no. We have the ability to listen to a podcast that is informative and insightful. We have the power to be on a higher plane and not be sucked into conversations that are destructive and not uplifting.
It takes bravery to walk away from negative people and unflattering conversations. Partly because it is difficult to say to a loved one or friend, “I saw your text, but it was so early in the morning, and I don’t find you to be the most positive person these days.” Of course, there are several ways to get this point better across, but most of us don’t have the skills to
choose words that are supportive and kind; we just kinda spit out - “You’re draining.” A recommendation might be to take a step back and ask ourselves, will I walk away better by engaging in this conversation? Will the message help me help someone else? Is this conversation productive? We don’t need to try and live these perfect lives in these imperfect times, but we have to take the first step, and that first step is being brave.
Given our current political climate, police brutality, social injustice, and the pandemic, it is a wonder any of us are mentally where we want to be. But we don’t have a choice. We have to get back to a state of normalcy and healthy self-talk. We have to convince ourselves that “this too shall pass” even on our very bad days. We have to be mindful that better days are just around the corner. Open dialogue has happen. It is so very important that we do not feel alone. Everyone needs someone that they can lean on and simply say, “I’m struggling today” or “I need someone to listen, not fix, but listen.”
Day in and day out, we have to exercise our bravery muscles, alone, with others, etc. Every person is struggling in one way or another. Some are struggling a little, while others are struggling a lot. Our top priority is to ride these wonky times out. We have to be stronger than what is trying to divide us. A healthy mental state and a positive outlook will fill the gap; I’m convinced of that.
Ruby Redd’s Birdcage Bingo
Due to the ongoing pandemic, please keep yourself updated on an event’s status as it may change last-minute. We believe in safety rst, so this lineup features mainly virtual events or in-person events with limited capacity that enforce CDC guidelines.
This favorite is also the OG when it comes to charity drag bingo in Atlanta. Join Ruby Redd and her cast of special guest stars for two rounds of bingo and help raise Georgia Suicide Awareness funds this month.
Wednesday, September 16, 9 - 11 pm Midtown Moon
Tacos and Tequilas Midtown
The Tacos & Tequila Day party is back again in the Midtown Entertainment District. More than ten bars (including MSR) participate in the limited capacity festival, so make sure you book your ticket in advance, wear a mask, and practice social distancing. More at atlantabartours. com.
Saturday, September 19, 4 – 11 pm Midtown (MSR)
The Rainbow Ball: Pajama Party Out Front Theatre Company is taking its annual Rainbow Ball fundraiser online and has created the biggest party of the year while you don the most comfortable pajamas you own in your own home’s safety. A lineup of performances, guest appearances, live and silent auctions, and plenty of surprises will have you staying up late. More at outfronttheatre.com
Saturday, September 19, 8 – 9 pm Online Event
The Armorettes
The legendary Armorettes take over the Heretic once more for a classic camp drag show. Enjoy the illustrious performances of Ally Yankadic, Autumn Skyy, Nurse Holly, Baby D GaLore, Linuxx Lovee, Plenty Moore, and more. The show will stream on Facebook Live also.
Saturday, September 19, 8 – 10 pm
The Heretic
Sunday in the Park
Sunday in the Park returns for its 43rd year, and this year, the beloved fall festival has expanded into a week-long event to celebrate all things Oakland with this year’s hybrid virtual/in-person format. Check out oaklandcemetery.com for more info. September 21-27 Historic Oakland Cemetary
B AR S
1 A ms ter dam 502 Amsterdam Ave NE
2 Blake's 227 10 th S t NE
3 Bulldog s 893 Peachtree S t NE
4 Fr iends 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
6 My Sister’s Room 66 12th S t NE
7 Ten At lan t a 990 Piedmont Ave NE
Dini
n g 9 10 th & Piedmon t 991 Piedmont Ave NE
Campag nolo 980 Piedmont Ave NE
Eins tein's 1077 Juniper S t NE
F R O G S 931 Monroe Cir NE
B AR S
20 B J Roo s ter s 20 43 Cheshire Bridge Rd
21 Sequel 1086 Alco S t NE
22 Tr ipp s 1931 Piedmont Cir NE
Dini n g
24 L as M ar g ar i t as 18 42 Cheshire Bridge Rd
25 Rox x 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd Re tai l
26 B ar k ing L ea t her 1510 Piedmont Ave Suite A
27 S ou t her n Nig h t s 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd c l u bs
28 Her e t ic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd
29 Tok yo Valen t ino 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd Fitne ss
30 Gr avi tee Fi t ne s s 2201 Faulkner Rd NE Spa / b ath
42 T he Den 2135 Liddell Drive NE
B AR S
32 Mid tow n Moon 1492 Piedmont Ave NE
33 Felix 's 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
34 T he Hideaw ay 15 4 4 Piedmont Ave NE
35 Mi x x 1492 Piedmont Ave NE
36 O scar 's 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Dini n g 1600 Piedmont Ave NE
38 Eclec t ic Bis tr o 1425 Piedmont Ave NE Re tai l
39 Boy Nex t Door 14 47 Piedmont Ave NE
40 Brushstrokes / Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Fitne ss
41 E quilibr ium Fi t ne s s 1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L
N OT S H OW N
M ar y 's 1287 Glenwood Ave SE
S is ter L ouis a’s Chur ch 466 Edgewood Ave SE
S w ing ing Richar ds 1400 Nor thside Dr N W
L ip s At lan t a 3011 Buford Hw y NE The T 465 Boulevard SE 494 Plasters Ave NE Woo f 's
BARS & CLUBS
MIDTOWN
AMSTERDAM amsterdamatlanta.com 502 Amsterdam Ave. NE
ATLANTA EAGLE atlantaeagle.com 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
BLAKE’S ON THE PARK blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE
BULLDOGS 893 Peachtree St NE
FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR friendsonponce-atl. com 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
BJ ROOSTERS bjroosters.com 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
SEQUEL 1086 Alco St NE TRIPPS 1931 Piedmont Circle N
mixxatlanta.com 1492 Piedmont Ave NE
oscarsatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
woofsatlanta.com 494 Plasters Ave NE
ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD
marysatlanta.com 1287 Glenwood Ave SE
DINING
MIDTOWN
10TH & PIEDMONT 10thandpiedmont. com 991 Piedmont Ave NE
EINSTEIN’S einsteinsatlanta. com 1077 Juniper St NE
FROGS CANTINA frogsmidtown.com 931 Monroe Dr
G’S gsmidtown.com 219 10th St NE
HENRY’S henrysatl.com 132 10th St NE
JOE’S ON JUNIPER joesonjuniper.com 1049 Juniper St NE
LA HACIENDA lahaciendamidtown. com 900 Monroe Dr NE
CHESHIRE
LAS MARGARITAS lasmargaritasmidtown.com 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
ROXX 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
DEKALB
LIPS ATLANTA atldragshow.com 3011 Buford Hwy NE
RETAIL
MIDTOWN
BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
CHESHIRE
SOUTHERN NIGHTS
VIDEO 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
ANSLEY
BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR boynextdoormenswear.com 1447 Piedmont Ave NE
GCB & PLEASURES brushstrokesatlanta. com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE
BARKING LEATHER barkingleather.com 1510 Piedmont Ave Suite A FITNESS MIDTOWN
URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com
10 suicide warning signs
September is Suicide Prevention Month, and this is a good time to educate yourself on possible risk signs, raise awareness, and lift stigma surrounding mental health problems that could potentially lead to suicide.
1. Negative view of self
2. Isolation or feeling alone
3. Substance abuse
4. Feeling like a burden to others
5. Drastic changes in mood and behavior
6. A sense of hopelessness or no hope for the future
7. Aggressiveness and instability
8. Possessing lethal means
9. Frequently talking about death
10. Making suicide threatss
So far, 2020 has been one long dance – on Legos
Life is about ass! You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, or trying to get a piece of it
I want to dance like no one is watching What do you mean?
By cutting off the sleeves of all your t-shirts?
Don’t worry if people are looking, be free
But people are looking At me?
Yes, it looks like bees are attacking you
Is it a gay rule in uncertain job situations to start an Onlyfans or become a realtor?
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business again
Daddy Joke Alert Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit
Next week has been exhausting
I mean this from the bottom of my heart… If it’s textable, don’t call me
AQUARIUS (JAN.
20 - FEB. 18)
Your communication game is challenged these days. Texts may not get delivered, emails may not go through, and people might misinterpret your words. This could create a mess that brings everything to a screeching halt. Instead, speak to people directly, give detailed instructions, use simple language, and make sure they take notes, or beware of the consequences!
PISCES (FEB.
19 - MAR. 20)
VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)
Money matters are on your mind and might cause you a few headaches. You could be torn between the desire to set money aside for the future and the impulse to buy that thing you’ve wanted for a long time. There may be a way to have it both ways. Save a little less and try to find a bargain price for your object of obsession. Take everything into consideration and work it out before you make yourself crazy.
LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22)
Too much rigorous exercise over the past few days might have you feeling a little sore and tired. Your nerves may be on edge, and you could be more likely than usual to snap at those around you. Try to ease both nerves and muscle aches by soaking in a hot bath. Herbal tea might also help. Accept that you should take it easy today and then do it!
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21)
Your time in lockdown has paved the way for a few spiritual breakthroughs, and they may have you feeling a little disconcerted. Clearing away deadwood, such as past traumas, might tell you a few things about yourself you’d rather not face. It’s vital to release them in order to progress as a human being. Even if tears are involved, this is a positive development. You’ll feel happier once it’s all set free. Onward and upward!
SAGITTARIUS
(NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)
Social media can be bit off shouting match these, and you stumble upon a thread that touches upon some pretty volatile issues. People could disagree to the point that it turns ugly and personal. You probably have strong opinions on this as well, but don’t get involved. You won’t be able to stop the argument, and it can only cause you stress. If you can, avoid this meeting altogether. Think about it!
CAPRICORN
(DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)
Is your significant other caught up in family problems and unable to spend time with you even though you are isolated together? Don’t let your insecurity get the best of you. Your partner needs to deal with family now. Relax, do your own thing, and have the confidence that you’ll be spending more time together as soon as possible. After dealing with family quarrels, you’ll be a peaceful refuge for your partner.
Your values could oppose those of a business or romantic partner. One of you may be overly pragmatic and the other too idealistic. One seems callous, while the other seems to be living in a dream world. This could be a milestone in your relationship if approached properly. If you can’t create a win/win situation, perhaps you should reconsider the partnership.
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)
If you’ve been having trouble reaching a romantic partner, it might be a good idea to stop trying. Your friend is having a great trick and might not make the best company. In fact, your beloved could view a call from you as an unwelcome interruption and be short, if not downright rude. If you speak with your friend, keep it brief and plan to get together - just not while his ass is in the air.
TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)
Months of living through a pandemic may have you feel a bit restless and unsettled. Stresses on the job could churn up repressed resentment from the past that you need to release. Try to discern exactly what these stresses remind you of. If you’re unable to do this, however, you’ll probably still reap the benefits of the release. Stay focused on your work and just let it happen.
GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)
Too many people could be vying for your attention this week. All of them want advice or help. This could be flattering, and you’ll probably want to help them, but it can also be unsettling and make it hard to focus. Don’t let this set your temper on edge and cause you to snap at your friends. Take each request one at a time, make no promises, and do your best.
CANCER
(JUN. 21 - JUL. 22)
There could be trouble brewing in the workplace. Some of your colleagues neither like nor trust each other and find it impossible to work together – even at a proper social distance. Adjustments are needed if everyone is going to work to the best of their abilities. If you’re in a position to handle this, do it now. If you aren’t, distance yourself from the situation. It’s the only way to stay sane!
LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)
Squabbles may come up between you and a sibling or neighbor. Your ability to compromise is definitely called for here. If you aren’t careful, this could turn into a battle of wills. The minute the disagreement comes up, try to talk it out and turn it into a win/win situation. Otherwise, things may be said that shouldn’t be, and feelings could remain hurt for a long time.
Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.
Right when COVID hit, I discovered that my boyfriend had been abusing our fairly open relationship to sleep with a lot of guys. He works in hospitality, and apparently, he spent some of those late nights hooking up with a bunch of guys. I broke it off because, although we were open, it was just so excessive. I spent isolation on my own really hurting and feeling betrayed. Now, I’m starting to think I should get out in the dating game again, so I have downloaded some of the apps again and have started communicating with guys. The thing is, I kind of freeze at some point and end up not replying or blocking the guys I match with. I have gained some weight during quarantine, and I am generally cautious (or scared!) of meeting up with people during a global pandemic. Also, I don’t want a lot of mindless sex but a lasting and loving relationship with someone. Normally, I would be out among people and meeting guys, but I feel stuck on the apps for the time being. How do I get beyond my fears to the next step?
Sincerely Frozen In My Steps
Dear Frozen In My Steps
Honestly, it doesn’t seem like you are ready to start dating at all. Your reaction pattern right now with guys emulates ‘fight or flight’ where your body will kind of react for you by freezing up or run away. Maybe the trauma of your fairly recent breakup is still too fresh in your mind and body or maybe your reaction is based in some other trauma or anxiety? Either way, it would be a good idea to work through all of that before you get out there again. That being said, dating apps are actually a good place to be in your situation because that allows you to weed out a lot guys who are just in it to hit it. You may have some negative associations with apps, but if you can move past those, it could be very beneficial to you – plus, it is the safest way to meet guys right now! You could also consider doing therapy (there are many remote offers right now), and just as a baseline, make sure you get out and get active, not because of any weight gain, but because it is the best for your mental health overall. Obviously, you need a little more time, so grant yourself just that, so you can be fully ready to take the next step.
My boyfriend got laid off at the onset of this pandemic, and I’m afraid he has gotten a little too comfortable with the fact that I pay for just about everything while he lies around all day streaming shows. I still love him, but I have to admit that this laziness is making him less attractive to me. I just don’t understand why he isn’t more active in applying for jobs that would keep his energy and momentum up. I have stopped making plans that cost a lot of money, but he will still ask if we are going on a trip soon. My patience is wearing thin, and he is not listening to my suggestions to apply for more jobs – I have even offered to pay for a therapist that can get him out his daze. What do I do? Break up with him? Threaten to stop supporting him?
Sincerely Sugar Daddy Daze
Dear Sugar Daddy Daze
You are well on your way to resenting your boyfriend and vice versa. You give him advice he is not listening to, and he feels like you are telling him what to do. Not good. You can suggest that he changes his approach, but you can’t force it. You don’t have to support him financially, and you don’t even have to stay with him for that matter – but don’t threaten him with those consequences, or you risk eroding any love and trust that exists between you. Instead, you can let him know just how unhappy you are with the situation – that’s a different approach that might give him the push he needs to change things for both of you. Also, have you considered that your boyfriend could be depressed or suffer from anxiety? There’s no doubt he needs your support, but it may be entirely different than what you imagined.
