Empowered Bystander/Upstander
The aim of this section is to present to the participants the concept of empowered bystander, also known as upstander. Usually the focus of the module is on definitions followed by role playing later in the training.
Definition: Empowered Bystander/Upstander
An Empowered Bystander or Upstander is someone who helps create a safer community by utilizing a wide range of behaviors, including standing up and speaking out, when they witness situations that could potentially threaten the health and safety of others. Regardless of the term you prefer, Empowered Bystanders and Upstanders actively promote a culture of safety.
Actions to be an Empowered Bystander/Upstander
● Notice behavior that constitutes oppressive behavior; racist.sexist, ableist, fatphobic, homo- and transphobic remarks as well as verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual violence and abuse. Name it when you see it.
● Think critically about mainstream messages around race, class, bodies, sexuality, abilities, gender, sex, and violence, and challenge them.
● Create a safe environment inclusive of all gender identities and sexual orientations.
● Respect peoples' physical space, even in casual situations.
● Define your own identity, and do not let stereotypes shape your actions.
● Hold perpetrators accountable for sexual assault and other forms of sexual violence rather than asking victims to prove they were assaulted.
● Join a student or community group working to end violence.
Recognizing Microaggression
Microaggression refers to the commonplace prejudice experienced if your race, gender, ethnicity, religion, economic class, nationality, language, ability level, or body type is marginalized. Whether microaggression is intentional or not, it is experienced as a put down, as a belittling experience that marginalizes and undermines. Even though it can be difficult to pinpoint microaggression, it is important to identify it, and recognize that it is unacceptable. Microaggression is powerful and insidious, and can be as harmful as overt aggression.
Speak Up if you Notice Someone
● Perpetuate myths about sexual violence
● Use objectifying or degrading language
● Blame the victim
● Say someone is being too sensitive to the microaggression
● Objectify another's body
● Glamorize violence in general as well as specifically sexual violence, stalking, sexual assault, sexual harassment and street harassment
● Tell sexually explicit jokes at the expense of another
● Make derogatory comments about abilities, bodies, sexual orientation, documentation status, and/or gender identity
● Refuse to take rape accusations seriously
What to Do If Something Feels Wrong
● Notice the behavior, and if you are comfortable, ask for it to stop in a respectful manner.
● Protect the target of the abusive behavior if you can, ask the person if they are okay or want you to call for help.
● State the behavior you want to see (e.g. this is a "no put down" zone).
● Set limits and follow through with them (e.g. "Do not tell [rape, racist, sexual, -phobic, etc.] jokes in my presence anymore; if you do I will leave.")
● Do not accept minimizing, deflection, blaming the target, or excuses.
● If someone has just been assaulted help them get to a safe place and access care.
● Report it: Sexual violence of any kind is a violation of The New School Sexual Assault Policy and is against New York State Law. Acts of bias and discrimination are violations of the university Code of Conduct.
● If you feel unsafe approaching those directly involved, don’t. Pausing to assess your safety and the situation is often the best course of action.
People who witness verbally or physically coercive or violent situations sometimes decide not to act in response to it. This happens for many reasons: We may think that it isn’t our responsibility or our business, that someone else who “knows what to do” will step in, that the aggression will subside without our intervention, or we may not feel safe to do so. It is important not to judge the reasons why individuals choose not to intervene, and instead prepare in advance how to respond if faced with such a situation. Fact - we are more likely to step up and be an empowered bystander if we strategize and practice ahead of time what we might say or do in certain situations. Take some time to role play it in your mind, or with friend, and if a troublesome situation arises, you will feel more prepared to respond.
Hollaback’s 4 Ds
Hollaback, an organization working to end street harassment, has identified 4 Ds to deal with street harassment - direct action, delegation, distraction or delay. These four can also be used to deal with other forms of oppression, from sexual harassment to microaggressions. What is important is to think of your safety as well as the safety of others. If the situation is already violent or looks like it’s escalating quickly, don’t directly intervene. We want to emphasize here that the only effective bystander/upstander intervention is a nonviolent one.
Below are Hollaback’s 4 Ds adapted to various scenarios.
Direct Action –Directly intervene when you see a situation by confronting the situation head on. For example, you can ask the abuser/harasser/perpetrator to stop bothering the person they are targeting.
Distraction – Take an indirect approach to intervening. For example, if you notice someone being harassed, you can approach her/him to ask for directions or say ‘hello’ as if you know them, thus de-escalating that situation.
Delegation – Seek outside assistance to intervene in the situation. For example, a bystander can seek help or assistance from designated safe spaces, a public transport worker or another outside party on behalf of the victim/target. Take into account that police and elements of the criminal justice system have been violent towards people and communities, and folks may not want this type of intervention. Hate and police violence may be addressed using community based strategies rather than relying on the police. For example, assess whether there are safe spaces and owners/employees within these safe spaces, who can intervene. Some may want to involve the police.
Delay – This is when you wait for the situation to pass and you check in with the person who was targeted to make sure that they are okay. Even if you were unable to intervene at the time, checking in later can make a positive difference to the survivor/victim.