Join us in supporting local organizations and families in need
Dance Into December 44 Books that inspire kids to move and groove their way through the Big Dark
PARENT VOICES
A Mom’s Quiet Revolution 25 What if actively planning your life was an act of defiance?
RAISING GREAT KIDS
Cure the Witching-Hour Woes 31
A psychologist deconstructs the after-school breakdown and lays out tips that really help
2025
Feature
Does Character Count? 7
Local leaders’ guidance on raising kids who do the right thing in a morally complicated world
Family Fun OUT + ABOUT Step Into Seattle’s History 41 Strolling down Ravenna’s Candy Cane Lane is a can’t-miss tradition December Play List 46 14 seasonal quests for families that capture the joy and magic of winter
Does Character Count?
In a moment when the noise of the world feels louder than ever — and moral certainty feels harder to grasp — it’s worth pausing to ask a simple but essential question: Does character still count?
This month, our story “Does Character Count?” (p. 7) by managing editor, Allison Sutcliffe, explores what it means to raise children with integrity in a divided country. Mercer Island Mayor Salim Nice, Rabbi Jay Rosenbaum and Dr. Linda Smith (our former 2024 ParentMap Superheroes), bring much-needed moral clarity to a conversation that too often gets lost in outrage or apathy.
Mayor Nice’s reflections struck me most deeply: “Character is consistency under pressure — the ability to take a stand when it is inconvenient or unpopular, to tell the truth when there is a cost, and to treat others with dignity even when we are frustrated or angry.” In a time when our kids are inundated by social media, algorithms and performative “virtue,” this steady wisdom feels like oxygen.
Mayor Nice reminds us that moral strength isn’t built through grand gestures, but through small, daily decisions — telling the truth, owning a mistake, helping someone else. Rabbi Rosenbaum encourages modeling “holy argument,” and Dr. Smith emphasizes celebrating effort, empathy and honesty alongside achievement. Parenting through today’s moral fog can feel daunting, yet integrity is something we live together, one decision at a time.
And of course, the holidays are a perfect time for simple joys and family traditions. One of our favorites is strolling through Ravenna’s Candy Cane Lane, (p. 41) where 23 charming Tudor-style homes transform into a glittering winter wonderland. For 75 years, neighbors have strung lights, set up vintage decorations and rotated a carousel in the roundabout, creating a magical, nostalgic experience for families. Whether it’s your first visit or a beloved annual tradition, walking down this whimsical street reminds us how small moments of wonder can bring joy, connection and warmth to the season.
As we close the year, I’m filled with deep gratitude — for our readers, the communities we serve and the extraordinary ParentMap team I’m privileged to work alongside every day. Because of their creativity, integrity and heart, we continue to be a standout leader in our field.
Our teamwork has us celebrating with joy as we were recently honored with 12 Parenting Media awards, including Gold for our ParentEd Talks series and Silver for Website General Excellence — a testament to the creativity, collaboration and quality that define everything we do.
Cheers to you and yours!
— Alayne Sulkin Founder & Publisher, ParentMap
OCTOBER 2025, VOL. 22, NO. 10
PUBLISHER
Alayne Sulkin
DIGITAL
Nell
Brendel
Widjaja
What’s your favorite snowy day activity?
PARENTMAP EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD
Benjamin Danielson, M.D. CLINICAL PROFESSOR, UW SCHOOL OF MEDICINE PRACTICING PHYSICIAN, UW MEDICINE
Joan Duffell RETIRED EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, COMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN
John Gottman, Ph.D. THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
Laura Kastner, Ph.D. PSYCHIATRY + BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
Bea Kelleigh VICE PRESIDENT, DOVETAILING, LLC
Yaffa Maritz, M.A. FOUNDER, LISTENING MOTHERS + COMMUNITY OF MINDFUL PARENTING
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MINDSIGHT INSTITUTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Advertising information
206-709-9026 or advertising@parentmap.com
Fax 206-709-9031
Calendar submissions calendar@parentmap.com
Editorial submissions editor@parentmap.com
Distribution distribution@parentmap.com
Administration 206-709-9026, parentmap.com
Subscriptions subscriptions@parentmap.com
Subscription rate 1 year: $12
21 thru January 19
Does Character Count?
Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s the age of my kids. But recently, they have been asking me some really tough questions, and I’m not talking the AP Calculus variety. Their most recent was about the murder of Charlie Kirk. To say I was surprised they even knew who he was would be an understatement (how naive of me). To think they had formulated opinions about his death was, quite frankly, something I hadn’t even considered (again, mea culpa). So I found myself fumbling around, giving half-baked answers to questions that hadn’t even occurred to me just a few hours earlier, in an effort to shepherd my kids’ curiosity safely through the moral landmines of this contentious discussion.
By Allison Sutcliffe
What I noticed through our back and forth — and from the media firestorm sparked by the murder
Character today means being steady in a world that rewards extremes.
— were the two distinct sides that arose: those who exalted him and those who condemned him. Rigidly rooted, clearly divided perspectives like these don’t surprise me anymore, as we seem to have a tendency to two-sides everything these days. But it was still unsettling to listen to them, another sign that defining what is “good” or who is “righteous” is not as simple as it used to be. And it left me to wonder: How can I teach my kids to have integrity when we can no longer collectively agree on what integrity even means?
So I reached out to a few of ParentMap’s 2024 superheroes,
FEATURE
continued from page 7
“the Unifiers,” to get their perspectives: Mayor Salim Nice of Mercer Island; Rabbi Jay Rosenbaum, rabbi emeritus of Herzl-Ner Tamid Congregation; and Dr. Linda Smith, an ordained American Baptist preacher — three people who have thought a lot about moral clarity, both personally and professionally.
What does having character mean?
While I wasn’t encouraged to learn that all three agreed that something seems to be amiss when it comes to kids’ integrity, I was buoyed by their insistence on its importance. As we work to raise our kids to be good and kind, Nice offers this definition as a starting point: “Character is consistency under pressure. It is the ability to take a stand when it is inconvenient or unpopular, to tell the truth when there is a cost, and to treat others with dignity even when we are frustrated or angry. … Character today means being steady in a world that rewards extremes.” A valuable starting point in light of the conversation that sparked this, at least for me.
What’s causing the confusion?
It’s often these extremes — amplified and monetized on social media and other platforms, creating and exacerbating information silos (Kirk was one of many who benefited from these mechanisms) — that muddy the waters that used to be clear.
As we wade into the muddied waters in our search for moral clarity, “it is important not to frame this as something kids have caused or failed at,” cautions Nice. “Young people are a reflection of the inputs they receive, and those inputs have changed dramatically. … The result is not a loss of character, but a flood of noise. Youth are navigating influences powerful enough to rival addiction. Our job as adults is to help them recognize manipulation, understand incentives and separate identity from algorithm.”
Rosenbaum explains, “Today’s youth are facing a crisis of moral clarity because we adults are confused about right and wrong.” He cites slavery and Nazism as examples of issues we all agree are unequivocally wrong, and offers the following as a reason for today’s confusion: “... solutions to [today’s] challenges are complex and good people should be allowed and encouraged to disagree about the solutions vigorously without being attacked personally. We need to model holy argument for our children and youth.”
continued from page 8
What parents can do
In an effort to lead our kids out of the cacophony of the modern world, our superheroes offer these inspiring thoughts:
ParentMap: If parents could start by doing one small, consistent thing to nurture moral strength in their children, what would you recommend?
Dr. Linda Smith: Compliment and affirm good action. Having open conversation with them every day as much as possible, and help them to make small decisions in their life and recognize the importance of those decisions.
There is a liberal and a conservative living inside each of us, and the sooner we make peace with that, the sooner we make peace with each
Mayor Salim Nice: Talk about the moment before the decision, that quiet space where your instincts and conscience wrestle with what to do next. Kids need to hear about that hesitation and what helps you push through it. Whether it is standing up for someone, admitting a mistake or telling an uncomfortable truth, that is where moral strength is built. In our family, we try to name small daily examples: telling the truth, owning a mistake, helping someone else. It turns morality into practice, not performance.
PM: In an age when public figures and institutions often appear morally corrupt, how can parents help their children stay anchored in values like honesty, compassion and courage?
Nice: We lead by example, but we also need to teach discernment. Parents can model integrity through their own behavior, but children also benefit from seeing how history provides perspective. Talk about figures who changed the world through quiet courage, not just power or success.
And help them understand incentives. Ask, “Who benefits from this message?” “Why would someone say that?” Once kids can see the motives behind actions, they become harder to manipulate and better equipped to stand firm in their own values.
•Extended hours for busy families | 7:00 AM – 6:00
•Faith and play-based curriculum
•Caring, dedicated instructors and staff
•Spanish Immersion Program | Ages 3-5
•Secure, state-of-the-art facility
•Flexible half-day, three-day, and five-day program options
continued from page 10
PM: Many parents believe they are raising good kids yet may participate in systems that perpetuate inequality or injustice. How can parents — and faith communities — help bridge the gap between personal morality and social responsibility?
Rabbi Rosenbaum: Societies that value continuity, stability and loyalty can sometimes enshrine inequality and injustice because to question long-held moral positions, even if they are wrong, is too disruptive and
The mistake we are making today is assuming that commitment and change are opposite values, belonging to opposing groups of people. The truth is, these complementary values live within each of us. There is a liberal and a conservative living inside each of us, and the sooner we make peace with that, the sooner we make peace with each other.
Moral character building starts in the family. Our children learn most from what we do. How do we treat each other? How do we expect brothers and sisters to behave towards each other? No amount of preaching the value of social justice is worth anything if we tolerate selfishness, cruelty and small-mindedness within our own family.
But, our children also need to learn that there is a world beyond the family. We need to teach them that every human life is of infinite value and back up that belief by how we behave towards others. No great moral progress has ever been achieved by one person acting alone. The great leaps forward for humanity have always been achieved by communities acting together over time. America is a great example of this.
PM: When children witness hypocrisy, cruelty or corruption among adults, how can parents guide them to maintain integrity and hope rather than cynicism?
Nice: Call it out directly. Children see more than we give them credit for, and pretending otherwise erodes trust. Then show them what repair looks like. Integrity is not the absence of failure, it is what we do after we fail.
When
acknowledge mistakes, apologize and make
that
Family Fun Calendar
still possible. The lesson should not be that people are perfect, it should be that they can change course. That is where optimism is built.
PM: Humility, kindness and honesty may sometimes seem at odds with being ambitious and successful. How can parents teach both confidence and conscience — raising children who are driven and decent?
Smith: Build your child’s confidence to make decisions early on. Use every day experiences to encourage critical thinking while promoting humility, kindness and honesty.
Nice: Ambition and humility can exist in the same person when success is tied to purpose. Teach children that achievement is not just about winning, it is about how they win. Celebrate effort and integrity as much as results. Confidence built on service lasts longer than confidence built on praise. When children understand that their talents are tools to help others, ambition becomes a force for good.
PM: What role does faith, spirituality or a sense of the sacred play in shaping a child’s moral compass, even for families who do not identify as religious?
Rosenbaum: We need to teach our children
and youth what it means to value diversity of thought. The best way to do that is to model it ourselves. Do we encourage our kids to talk about the moral issues of the day at the dinner table? Do we encourage them to seek out opposing points of view?
Do we find ways for them to get to know people who are different from themselves?
These are all ways in which we can grow in our children a sense of moral clarity that is balanced with moral humility.
Faith communities, when we are at our best, offer this creative balance. Sanctity at its core is about commitment. For any relationship to be called loving, there must be a sense that we cannot simply walk away anytime there is trouble in paradise. Children who see how committed their parents are to them are getting the best education in sanctity.
But, sanctity must always be balanced by its spiritual twin, humility. All of the great religions today teach the equivalent of the idea that we are created in the image of God, but we are not God. And, because we are not God, we sometimes commit to the wrong course of action, and are morally certain when we should be asking hard questions.
Finally, it’s important that we teach our children to be forgiving — forgiving of themselves, forgiving of others, forgiving of America, and most of all, forgiving of their
parents! We are human beings, not angels. Let not the perfect be the enemy of the good.
PM: What would you say to parents who feel uncertain or unworthy as moral guides, who worry they are unequipped to model the virtues they want their children to embody?
Smith: I would encourage them to collaborate with a spiritual guide to help them as they work with their children. When parents live outside of virtues that are not morally grounded, they need to be able to be authentic with their children and let them know that [their behavior] is not okay, but that they are trying to do better, and that they do not want [their children] to emulate their behavior or attitude.
Nice: None of us get this perfect. What matters is not flawless execution, it is honest effort. When parents admit what they are still learning, it gives children permission to grow without fear of failure.
Kids do not need idealized parents, they need consistent ones. Be present, tell the truth, apologize when you should and keep showing up. Character is not something we lecture into existence, it is something we live together, one decision at a time. ■
Allison Sutcliffe is ParentMap’s managing editor.
Hope Checks More Boxes
Unwrap Memories This Season
Trade the typical holiday toy clutter for family experiences instead
By Kari Hanson
We live in a culture of instant gratification — where it’s easy (and tempting) to accumulate more and more stuff. With a few clicks, we can fill the holidays with boxes of things we don’t really need. Sure, a mountain of presents might spark excitement in the moment, but chances are our kids will truly enjoy only a handful of what they unwrap.
This year, why not try something new? Give your family a gift they’ll remember forever: a unique experience, whether they love the arts, animals or adventures.
Encourage art and expression
Free-flowing creativity is one of the most magical things about being a kid. Help your child unlock and nurture their creative side, whether they like to cook, express themselves with fashion or experiment with different art mediums.
Gift a class
My son is a total foodie; he has been since he was a toddler. Unique foods, different textures and new restaurants? As far as he’s concerned — bring it on! A gift I know will always be a hit with him is one related to something he can (eventually) eat.
If your kids are like mine, a cooking class is a perfect gift for budding chefs (or kids who like to eat). FrogLegs Cooking School has classes for kids, teens and adults at
four locations in Seattle and on the Eastside. Who knows? Maybe your kids will even take charge of cooking a few dinners with their newfound passion!
Your kids may have gone to an art camp or class before, but have they ever come home with hand-forged armor or blown glass? Teens can take cool classes at Pratt Fine Arts Center, such as woodworking, using the college’s specially equipped studios. Classes range from individual afternoons to ongoing series that meet for several weeks. These classes and camps can be spendy, but tuition assistance is available for those who qualify.
Wrap up a kid-friendly spa experience
I’ve told my husband that a gift certificate to a spa is something I will always be thrilled to receive. Let your kids in on the joy of relaxing while engaging in a little self-care with their very own glam session. Head to woman-owned Urban Nail Box in Seattle’s Ballard or Fremont neighborhoods where you and your little ones can relax together. Urban Nail Box uses natural, organic products, and they are dedicated to offering a welcoming environment focused on wellness and creativity.
continued from page 17
If you are looking for a more kid-centric experience, check out Brat Pack Salon in Redmond or Sharkey’s Cuts for Kids, with locations in Seattle, Bellevue, Maple Valley, Shoreline and Woodinville. Both offer kids manicures and cool hair style options (including sparkles, of course) for tweens and teens.
Plant a gift
For an experience that involves just a little waiting and a fun reward, consider a mushroom growing kit from Cascadia Mushrooms. With a little water, mushrooms will start to pop up in just a few weeks. Kits come with instructions and recipes for preparing your bounty. Some kits, such as the blue oyster mushroom kit, can be transplanted into your garden after a few months of growing them indoors. It’s a gift that will truly keep giving.
Foster a love of animals
Whether your kids like to sit back and observe animals, or let little critters climb all over them, these animalfocused experiences are sure to delight.
Send them on a wild adventure
Want to get up close with some of the Pacific Northwest’s coolest residents? Check out Northwest Trek Wildlife Park’s Keeper Adventure Tours where you might find yourself closer than you’ve ever been to a mountain goat or bison. Participants climb into a Jeep with one of the park’s keepers before setting off for an off-road, 90-minute adventure they’ll never forget. Kids must be 5 years old to participate and tours can be booked online.
Blue Oyster Mushroom Grow Kit from Cascadia Mushrooms
continued from page 18
If the back of a Jeep still feels too far from the action, head to Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium where your kids can get up close and personal during an exclusive animal experience. There are a few to choose from, so you can cater to your kids comfort level and interests. Pose for a photo and feed your new friends from your hand at the Groovy Goats experience. Help feed some of the animals in the Tidal Touch Zone on the Pacific Seas Aquarium Behindthe-Scenes Tour, or experience having the zoo to yourself in a morning Wild Zoo Tour.
holds 50–200 eggs!) and everything else you need for a safe, indoor praying mantis hatching experience.
Feeling really brave? Then an Eye-to-Eye Shark Dive is for you. You’ll get 20 minutes of in-water time with sharks and tropical fish in the Outer Reef habitat. Staff will take a souvenir video of your dive, so your kids can prove their bravery to friends and family. Remember to review the requirements for this unforgettable experience before booking.
Hatch a love of science
If you want your animal encounter to happen in your living room, get yourself on the email list for an ooth this spring. What’s an ooth? It’s a praying mantis egg case, and locally owned Tiny Science’s Praying Mantis Hatching kit includes one ooth (it
Our family purchased a kit a few years ago, and I have to say it is one of the coolest things we have ever done. Just put the lidded container in an area that is protected from direct light and other heat, and wait. That’s it!
Pro tip: Leave the lid on the cup! You never know when the eggs will hatch, and if you happen to take the lid off and the eggs happen to hatch, you may be scooping up and releasing hundreds of baby insects off your walls for a while (which, honestly, was also kind of fun).
If you’ve got an adrenaline junkie on your hands, give them an experience that will get their blood pumping. Soar through the air, use your wits to escape or experience an exciting local icon with these adventurefocused gifts.
Skydive inside
If jumping out of an actual plane is not on the agenda, an experience at iFly is the next best thing. Get suited up and climb into a wind tunnel that simulates skydiving! Kids ages 3 and older can fly, and they are in for a fun ride. You’ll jump into a wind tunnel and, with the help of an instructor, float around weightlessly. Consider adding a “high flight” onto your experience if you want to go zipping (again, with the help of an instructor) up, up, up!
Saddle up for the season
Hit the trails with your family at Lang’s Horse and Pony Farm in Mount Vernon. Pick a private ride for two or a group ride for up to 10 people and head out into the farm’s 300-acre forest with a knowledgeable guide. Kids ages 3–10 can enjoy a pony ride; trail rides are for adults and kids 8 and older. Rides are between 30 minutes and two hours, and while no experience is necessary, reservations are required.
For kids (or adults) who love solving complex puzzles, following clues and competing against a timer, an escape room experience will make a great gift. The Escape Game at Westfield Southcenter has five rooms to choose from, with varying degrees of difficulty. Some rooms can take up to 12 players at once, and each room gives you one hour to solve all the puzzles and escape. This activity is great for families; it requires players to work together and put down their phones.
The storefront is also home to the Great Big Game Show, another fun family adventure.
Take to the skies
Did you know that moving through the air
slowly and silently can be exciting? Climb inside a basket under a huge hot air balloon and get ready for an experience of a lifetime. When you book a hot air balloon ride in Snohomish, you’ll glide into the sky and enjoy an amazing view, weather permitting of course. Pick a sunrise or sunset ride, each of which can hold 2–10 passengers. Kids must be at least 5 years old to ride in a hot air balloon, and keep in mind that the basket you’ll be standing in is 45 inches tall, so kids must be taller than that to see over the edge.
Experience Seattle icons of the sky
Be a tourist for a day and hit one — or all three, if you are feeling ambitious — of Seattle’s icons. I hope you don’t have a fear of heights, because all three of these options are going to take you above the skyline!
The Space Needle is practically shorthand for Seattle, and a trip to the observation deck is a treat. The glass floor and slant ing sides bring a new level of excitement to the experience. After the elevator ride down and your feet are firmly on the Earth again, head toward the waterfront and get ready for a spin on the Great Wheel. You can enjoy the new beautiful waterfront park and playground before or after your ride. And finally, head into the heart of downtown for a trip to the Columbia Tower’s Sky View Observatory, which is almost 300 feet taller than the Space Needle! ■
Kari Hanson is ParentMap’s associate editor.
Get outdoors and enjoy the coast with your family. Razor clamming is a fun activity for all ages and requires little gear. All you need is a license (for those over 14), a clam shovel or clam gun, and a bucket.
Learn more about upcoming razor clam dig
how and where to harvest, and more!
Photo courtesy iflyworld.com
Great Big Game Show. Photo by Brooke Collins
Photo by Kari Hanson
Photo by Nicole Pocklington.
Parent Voices
The Quiet Revolution of Planning Ahead
The search for a calendar sparks a surprising realization for one mom
By Lora Claus
If you want to stop a group of women in their tracks, casually reveal that you recently bought a 10-year planner. I was unprepared for the reaction that followed.
I was at the annual fundraiser for Friends of the Anacortes Community Forest Lands with a group of moms I was connected to through the friendships of our school-age children. The atmosphere was warm, playful and forest-y. We had chosen to dress up as a group of “Log Ladies,” a nod to the 1980s character from the show “Twin Peaks.”
was referencing her current job, which she had just been describing in pretty glowing terms.
Clearly, my excitement about being intentional and looking forward was not spreading around the table.
The impetus
Earlier that spring I had rocked my own right-now moment, moving out of our family home and ending a 27-year relationship that had exceeded its expiration date. I was making serious changes and I wanted my next 10 years to be better than my last.
Friday afternoon.
So my spouse “helped,” by taking the kids out of the house. An all-day trip to the children’s museum. Overnight camping on the lake. That made it easier to straighten up and catch-up on sleep. But it made it harder to know why I was doing any of this in the first place. Dad modeled adventure and fun. Mom modeled —cleaning? Really?
Waking up
Though I had a full-time job, I definitely played the caregiver role in our family.
We were waiting for the dinner buffet to open up, getting to know each other better. These women were engaging, clever and full of commentary. I was excited to hear from my fellow moms about their plans for the next 10 years. Travel to a bucket-list location? A trip with a special friend? Plans to pursue a new hobby?
“Oh god,” said one of my tablemates with a look of distress. “I’m not even sure I’m doing what I want to be doing right now.” She
After the kids were born, gone were the days of 10-mile hikes in the mountains and overnight paddle trips. I spent evenings and weekends largely at home, cleaning, organizing and trying to prepare for the coming week. When the kids stayed home all weekend too, it felt like fighting the tide.
No matter how hard I worked, the house looked the same Sunday night as it did on
The wake-up call hit home when my husband informed me of a major international trip he was taking via a Gmail calendar notification. He was departing in less than a week, had said nothing, and was seemingly flitting off less than 12 hours after my high-stakes work event I had been grinding towards all year. I had no time prior to his departure to plan logistics for the kids, pets, babysitter, sports schedules, etc.
After the disbelief and rage subsided — he had told the neighbors, his parents and extended family about the trip, but not me — I told him I was not covering for him.
Available daily in our Learning Gallery!
our seasonal exhibition through January 4th, 2026 Vintage Christmas Cards by Northwest Artists AilbldiliLiG ll !
Holiday Card Making Station
continued from page 25
He ended up cancelling the trip, but I had caught the spark. If I didn’t get something that I really wanted to do on my own calendar, I would forever stay in the loop of keeping up one week at a time between now and the kids’ graduations.
I got on Amazon to order a planner.
The search begins
I was surprised to discover planning many years ahead is not something most Americans are trying to do, at least not on paper. From the most common companies that print planners, a 2-year timeframe seemed to be the readily available maximum. (No wonder we are struggling to solve climate change.) Amazon had some obscure options that I hemmed and hawed over. Wasting precious time on this search seemed to be a test from the universe: Just go for it, already! I pulled the trigger.
On Sept. 26 my planner arrived in the mail. In my hands, I held the remaining time I had at home with both my children before they fledged the nest, my last decade before becoming a senior citizen, my last best ten years; it was about an inch thick. I could choose to put something on these pages, or I could let them be filled with items that arrived in my inbox and other people’s priorities. This was the opportunity to design the life I wanted.
Taking the leap
I was raised by a strong woman who was undoubtedly in charge of our household, but I did not hear her talk about her dreams and lay out plans to get there. I want my kids to see me as someone who is inspired, who has plans for herself. I want them to watch me work towards those dreams, failing and succeeding in measures. I don’t want them to see me staying home, keeping up, while other people have the adventures.
I want to go back to that dinner and ask those women more questions. Why is it so scary to think about the future? Why can’t we see more for ourselves than keeping up? Why do we let other people write on the pages of our lives? ■
Lora Claus writes about relationships, parenting and everyday adventures from her kitchen table in the Pacific Northwest.
2025–2026 Speaker Lineup
Hosted by Dr. Laura Kastner, Ph.D.
ParentMap is honored to present Laura Kastner as series host, guiding each speaker in an engaging, audience-driven Q&A. Dr. Kastner is a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington and author of the acclaimed “Getting to Calm” book series.
Inside the ADHD Mind: Tools to Help Your Child Thrive | Jan. 21, 2026
Better understanding leads to better support. Join Dr. Sasha Hamdani, board-certified psychiatrist and ADHD specialist, for an insightful talk to help you decipher what’s really going on in your child’s brain. Discover how to spot ADHD symptoms, choose the right treatments and confidently support their mental health through everyday challenges.
“The ADHD brain views structure as a paradox: You hate feeling limited and confined, but you need some structure to succeed.” — Dr. Sasha Hamdani
From Blowups to Breakthroughs: A New Way to Navigate Anger in Kids
Feb. 10, 2026
Breathing exercises only get you so far; real progress happens when you understand the root cause of anger. Renee Jain, founder of GoZen!, a widely used platform that helps kids build emotional strength, joins us to guide parents in understanding their child’s anger, what’s happening in the brain during outbursts and how to better respond in the moment.
The EdTech Dilemma: Rethinking Digital Learning for Kids
March 10, 2026
Is educational technology really helping our kids learn? Neuroscientist and educator Dr. Jared Cooney Horvath reveals why parents and educators must push back against digital overreach and restore genuine, meaningful learning for kids — at home and in the classroom.
The Boyhood Crisis: Raising Thriving Young Men in a Changing World
April 22, 2026
Boys are struggling in school, in relationships and with mental health, and it may signal a deeper issue. In this eye-opening talk, bestselling author, expert and father of three Richard Reeves will share what’s behind the troubling trend and how parents can raise confident, thriving boys in today’s world.
The Family Tech Reset: Hope and Help for Rebuilding Connection
May 12, 2026
Technology has changed, but what kids need has not. Andrea Davis, founder of Better Screen Time, joins us to guide caregivers on a slow-tech path that prioritizes family connection. Whether your family is already deeply entrenched in screen use or just starting to set boundaries, she offers hopeful, empowering strategies — and the reassurance that it’s never too late to turn things around.
All talks will run from noon–1 p.m. PT.
“I have absolutely loved these courses and am so grateful! I feel so much more empowered and inspired as a parent!”
— ParentEd Talks attendee
Raising Great Kids
When the Backpack Drops
Why kids hold it together at school and fall apart at
home
By Dr. Justin Hampton
There is a moment many parents can anticipate almost to the minute: The backpack hits the floor, your kid’s shoulders slump, and everything they have been holding in all day finally spills out. Tears, irritability, anger or withdrawal arrive without warning.
Teachers may report a smooth day, yet parents face intense emotional release the moment their child walks through the door.
Why after-school crashes happen
This pattern is common and often misunderstood. It is not defiance, and it is not caused by being home. It is the release of
a taxed nervous system that has run out of capacity. Kids don’t fall apart at home because they feel unsafe, but because they finally do.
During the school day, children work continuously to meet expectations. They follow rules, organize materials, shift between subjects, cope with academic demands, tolerate confusing instructions and navigate peer interactions. These tasks rely on emotional and cognitive resources, especially flexible thinking and impulse control. These abilities are part of executive
continued from page 31 functioning, and they require energy.
Like a muscle, these systems fatigue after hours of effort. Emotional suppression adds to that strain. Children often hold in frustration to avoid embarrassment, stay quiet rather than ask for help, ignore social slights or push through academic stress to keep up with peers. These experiences create a buildup of tension. Because school is a public environment with constant social evaluation, children delay emotional release until they reach a place that feels safe.
Why it shows up at home Children often fall apart at home even after a good day. Home is where emotional energy finally unloads. Emotional overload is released where it costs the least to be honest. That release may not be pleasant, but it is a sign of trust.
The following strategies support that shift.
The excitement of the season can intensify this pattern. Academic demands increase, after-school schedules expand and fatigue accumulates. Seasonal activities bring late nights, sensory stimulation and social intensity. Under these conditions, a child’s tolerance shrinks. After-school emotional overload becomes more frequent, not because children are misbehaving, but because their coping systems are depleted.
5 simple resets that help Melting down after school is not defiance. It is a nervous system asking for recovery. Children need recovery before they can meet expectations at home. A brief transition period between school demands and home allows the nervous system to reset.
1/ Connection before direction. Children settle through connection first, then instruction. Offer relational grounding before making requests. Simple statements such as, “I am glad you are home” or “You
Quick co-regulation scripts
worked hard today” create psychological safety and reduce emotional defensive-
10-minute quiet buffer. Verbal interaction immediately after school often overwhelms a tired system. Protect the first 10 minutes as a low-demand period. Avoid questions like, “Do you have homework?” or “Why are you grumpy?”. Quiet time with a snack, music or silence lowers reactivity.
3/ Sensory reset before homework. Emotional overload is often physical before it is behavioral. A short dose of sensory input helps discharge held tension. Wall push-ups, jumping jacks, a short trampoline break, time outside, a warm drink or a weighted blanket can bring the body back to baseline so thinking skills return.
4/ Offer structured choices. After a structured day, children crave autonomy. Choice provides control without conflict. Offer two clear options: “Homework first or break first,” “Music or quiet in the car,” or “Inside or outside snack.” Predictability plus control reduces power struggles.
When your child shows signs of stress or shutdown, these phrases gently let them know it’s safe to pause, that you are present, and that they are not alone:
• “I am here. You do not have to feel better yet.”
• “Your feelings are safe with me.”
• “Your body is telling me it needs a break. I will help you.”
• “Take your time. I am not going anywhere.”
• “We will figure this out together when you are ready.”
Quick strategies at a glance
• Connection before direction: greet before asking questions
• Quiet buffer: protect 10 minutes of no demands
• Sensory reset: movement first, then homework
• Structured choices: offer two clear options
• Emotional off-ramp: provide language to release feelings
5/ Create an emotional off-ramp. Children often do not decompress because they do not know how. Provide simple emotional language to help them release what they held in all day. Questions such as, “What was the hardest part of today?” “Is your battery drained in your body, your brain or your feelings?” or “Do you want comfort, space or help right now?” These questions can organize emotional experiences that would otherwise erupt as behavior — just don’t ask them the minute they walk in.
Related resources
“The Whole-Brain Child” by Daniel Siegel, MD, and Tina Payne Bryson “The Smart but Scattered Guide to Success” by Peg Dawson, Ed.D., and Richard Guare, Ph.D.
When to seek more support
If after-school distress is intense, daily or disrupts learning, family life or peer relationships, it is often a sign of underlying challenges such as ADHD, anxiety, autism profile traits or learning differences. These patterns do not resolve on their own. A comprehensive psychological evaluation can help families understand the child’s needs and provide a structured plan to restore calm and confidence. ■
Dr. Justin Hampton is a child psychologist and founder of Hampton Child and Adolescent Psychology in Bellevue, Washington. He specializes in comprehensive psychological evaluations that help families support children with ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Learning Disorders, OCD, Tourette’s Disorder, Anxiety, and Mood concerns. Learn more at hamptonchildpsych.com.
Although gifted children from all racial, cultural, and economic backgrounds exhibit these qualities every day, they still may be overlooked in class. Not so at Seattle Country Day School. We offer all our students an environment where they can ask questions, create, and grow intellectually and emotionally.
See if SCDS is right for your child. Reach out today to admissions@seattlecountryday.org.
Seattle Country Day School
For gifted children, K–8 seattlecountryday.org/admissions
Across Puget Sound, too many families are struggling to make ends meet — stretching every dollar to put food on the table, keep the lights on and care for their children.
At ParentMap, our mission has always been rooted in connection and compassion. For more than two decades, we’ve sought to be a trusted guide, helping parents find resources, share support and discover meaningful ways to make a difference. Together, we can help to ensure that every child and every family in our region feels seen, supported and nourished.
This season, we invite you to join us in that spirit of generosity and care.
Where to donate food
Auburn Food Bank
Issaquah Food and Clothing Bank
Donation location: Drop at their off-site warehouse, 930 Seventh Ave. N.W., Issaquah
• Farmhouse Market, 33521 S.E. Redmond Fall City Rd., Fall City; 7 a.m.–8 p.m., daily
• Hauglie Insurance Professional Building, 33410 S.E. Redmond/Fall City Rd., Fall City; Monday–Friday, 8:30 a.m.–5:30 p.m.
Food Lifeline
Volunteer location: 815 S. 96th St., Seattle Volunteers (ages 10 and older) help sort can help repackage food donations (sign up online). They also welcome shelf-stable food donations, diapers and baby formula.
Hopelink
Donation location: Any Hopelink location including Kirkland, Carnation, Shoreline, Redmond and Bellevue
Donation times: Contact Hopelink for up-to-date donation drop-off hours: drives@hopelink.org or 425-869-2440.
Other resource: The digital “Food, Fund and Item Drive Kit” provides guidelines for individuals or groups interested in organizing a drive to collect food, funds or other essential items for the food bank.
Tukwila Pantry — Emergency Food Bank
Donation location: Behind Riverton Park
United Methodist Church, 3118 S. 140th St., Tukwila
Donation times: Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 8 a.m.– 2 p.m.
Donation locations: Any Pregnancy Aid location including Auburn, Des Moines, Everett, Kent, Olympia and Tacoma
WestSide Baby
Currently accepting cash donations or choose something from the Give Joy 2025 Amazon wishlist.
White Center Food Bank
Donation location: 10024 16th Ave. S.W., Seattle
Donation times: Monday–Friday, 8:30 a.m.–4 p.m. ■
Alayne Sulkin is ParentMap’s publisher and owner.
Real Answers for Complex Kids & Teens
Still searching for the “why”?
If your child has multiple diagnoses, uneven skills, or doesn’t fit neatly in any one box—you’re not alone.
What Makes Us Different?
• 1:1 care with a board-certified pediatric neuropsychologist
• In-depth evaluations that uncover the how and why behind learning, attention, and emotional challenges
• Expertise in twice-exceptional, neurodivergent, and misunderstood profiles
• Clear, actionable recommendations that help at home, at school, and in life
November 21-January 19
Join us for some winter fun in Downtown Olympia! Hours, tickets, and more information at olyonice.com
Out + About
Seattle’s Sweetest Street
Story and photos on pages 42-43 by Meredith
Stroll down Ravenna’s Candy Cane Lane on a chilly winter evening
For 11 months out of the year, you might walk right by Northeast Park Road and not suspect a thing. But come December, the quiet street tucked away in Seattle’s Ravenna neighborhood undergoes a magical transformation.
Residents of the 23 charming Tudor-style houses get to work just ahead of the holiday season — not unlike the elves in Santa’s workshop — stringing up lights and bringing festive cheer to their front yards. Before long, Northeast Park Road becomes Candy Cane Lane.
The charming history of Candy Cane Lane The tradition has been going strong for 75 years. It’s a tale as old as time — or as legend has it, a tale as old as a neighborhood
Charaba
continued from page 41
taking on a “Seattle Times” holiday cheer competition in the 1940s. The neighborhood went all out with decorations, establishing its reputation and a festive tradition. By the mid-1950s, the “Candy Cane Lane” moniker had stuck. While there is no longer a contest crown to win, the residents carry on the tradition year after year.
The magic of simple holiday traditions
As far as holiday light displays go, Candy Cane Lane runs on simplicity with a sprinkle of nostalgia. You won’t find laser light shows or over-the-top decorations (besides perhaps a few inflatable characters) here. Instead, string lights and vintage
Many families have made visiting Candy Cane Lane an annual holiday tradition. Despite living in the Greater Seattle area for more than a decade, I went for the first time with my family last year. My toddler was just beginning to appreciate the magic of the season, and seeing her little face filled with wonder as we passed each house made our visit that much sweeter.
To walk or to drive, that is the question
There are two ways to experience Candy Cane Lane: driving or walking. While I understand the temptation of staying in your warm, comfortable car on a frigid winter night, I urge you to choose the walk. Strolling along the sidewalk, you’ll be able
decorations turn the street into a life-size gingerbread village, while the soft hum of holiday music floats through the air.
While each house shines bright, there is a large carousel in the roundabout that often steals the show. Six different themes are rotated throughout the years, with the Angel Chimes theme being the first to debut in 1961 (a nod to the traditional Christmas decoration with candles at its base, and trumpet-holding angels turning above). The carousel is large enough that multiple houses are responsible for storing parts of it throughout the year, coming together to assemble it around the holly bush as the holidays near. With the surrounding decorations, it takes up nearly all of the roundabout known as Park Home Circle, one of Seattle’s smallest public parks.
to stop at each house and admire the small details and extra magic that each homeowner puts into their decorations.
You’ll see more than one candy cane decoration on your stroll — each house has a 6-foot-tall metal candy cane made from old pipes, and many choose to honor the street’s nickname with other red-and-
white striped adornments. Look closely and you’ll notice white signs with painted red words — each reads ”peace” in a different language — displayed proudly at each home to honor the area’s diversity.
The rest of the decorations are a fantastic mix of old and new. Classic decor, from oversized nutcrackers to reindeer statues and evergreen wreaths, adds to the charm. Illuminated woodland creatures, snowmen and even flamingos come to life on front lawns. There’s also an adorable wooden elf holding a scroll with the names of the children on Candy Cane Lane, all of whom made it onto Santa’s nice list.
My daughter was enthralled by the twinkling lights and the familiar faces of the inflatable characters (she gasped when she saw the Grinch!).
During the season, Candy Cane Lane is a one-way street, with entrance and exit signs that direct drivers and pedestrians to follow the same direction. The street hosts a few pedestrian-only nights each season. There are also special events to look forward to throughout the season, including marching band and jazz band performances. We’ve even heard that Santa himself sometimes makes an appearance.
Tips for parents
As with any holiday excursion, you’ll want to prepare for the weather, traffic and crowds. Keep these tips in mind when planning your visit to Candy Cane Lane:
• Go early. If you’re hoping to avoid the holiday rush (and the traffic), make a plan to visit Candy Cane Lane earlier in the season. Decorations are usually up by the second week of December, but more families tend to go closer to Christmas. If you can, visit on a weeknight instead of during the busy weekends.
• Bring canned goods. Candy Cane Lane is free to visit, but the neighborhood collects donations for the University District Food Bank. Support a good cause during the holiday season with nonperishable food items, which can be dropped off in the bins at the exit.
• Bundle up. There’s no denying the event will be chilly (and that walk is extended if you have to park a few blocks away). Bundle the kids up with warm, cozy layers and tuck hand warmers into their coat pockets.
Even if you’re just driving through, you’ll want your windows down to peek out at the houses and listen to the holiday music, so wrap up for the car ride too.
• Warm up with a hot cocoa or apple cider. Just across the street from Candy Cane Lane’s entrance, you’ll find Seven Coffee Roasters, a hidden-gem café.
• Plan for extra festivities. Whether you walk or drive through, visiting Candy Cane Lane likely won’t take up too much of your evening. Make a day of it with holiday shopping at University Village or other nearby Seattle festivities.
Planning your pilgrimage Dates: The lights and decorations are usually ready for visitors by the second week of December, and stay up through New Year’s Day. Check the Candy Cane Lane Facebook page for this year’s schedule.
Location: Candy Cane Lane is officially known as Park Road Northeast, which can be found off Northeast Ravenna Boulevard (near Ravenna Park).
Cost: Candy Cane Lane is free to visit, though nonperishable food donations are encouraged for the University District Food Bank.
Parking: Parking is limited, though there is street parking nearby and a few spots in the parking lot on Ravenna Avenue Northeast. ■
Meredith Charaba is ParentMap’s family fun editor.
Dance Into December
By Allison Sutcliffe
I’m not sure why, but there’s something about December that invites all kinds of dancing. Not only can families find a myriad of Nutcracker ballet productions around the Sound, but dance recitals of all kinds are taking place on stages across Washington. Whether your kid enjoys a performance as an audience member or is showing off their dance moves when the curtain rises, these books will inspire kids of all ages to enjoy the art of dance.
“Ballet Brown” by Bellen Woodard, illustrated by Fanny Liem
A picture book about the “many colors of dance,” this heartfelt tale illustrates the way simple changes can ensure everyone is included in the dance community — whether they wear ballet pink or ballet brown.
Ages: 5–7
“This Is Dance” series, by Rekha S. Rajan, illustrated by Chris Park
Grab the first two books of this three part series that chronicles dance for the littlest kids. Each board book covers a different dance genre — ballet, hip-hop and jazz — with colorful illustrations and easy-to-read explanations. The first two in the series (ballet and hip-hop) released this year, and the third is scheduled to be out in June 2026.
Ages: 1–3
“Boys Dance!” by John Robert Allman, illustrated by Luciano Lozano
Boys who love to dance will see themselves in this picture book that was written in partnership with the American Ballet Theatre (one of four books in the collaboration). Cute rhymes keep the story moving and will inspire young kids to move and groove while they listen.
Ages: 3–7
“Ready, Set, Dance: Getting Ready for Your First Dance Class” by Once Upon a Dance, illustrated by Stella Maris Mongodi
One of the newer books from local mother-daughter dance duo and writing team, Once Upon a Dance, this is a story many kids can relate to: the anticipation of their very first dance class. Adorable animals illustrate practical tips that will help kids feel ready to take the leap.
Ages: 3–6
“This Is Tap: Savion Glover Finds His Funk” by Selene Castrovilla, illustrated by Laura Freeman
From the first words of this book that tells the origin story of tap legend Savion Glover, the rhythm leaps off the page, pulling readers into the story with linguistic dance vibes that pulsate throughout. A bio of the dancer’s many accomplishments appears in the afterword.
Ages: 4–8
“The Very Young Person’s Guide to Ballet Music” by Tim Lihoreau and Philip Noyce, illustrated by Sally Agar
If you plan to take your kids to the ballet this season, grab this beautifully illustrated companion book that introduces kids to some of the most famous productions around (“The Nutcracker” is one of them). Read it before you go so kids can know what to expect, making it easier to follow along. Musical clips are also part of the book.
Ages: 4–7 ■
Allison Sutcliffe is ParentMap’s managing editor.
December Play List
Highlighted Events for December
Dec. 1–31 | Saturday–Sunday
Deck the Boughs
Evergreen Arboretum
14 mix and match, play-packed activities for families
Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar
By Julie Dodobara
Wrap up your December plans with our one-stop activity shop brimming with ideas aplenty to keep your crew busy and in bright spirits all month. Splurge on an eye-popping stage show or holiday display, or keep it low-key and bask in the natural beauty of the season. You don’t have to spend a lot to be merry — there’s free fun to be had, annual favorites and new outings too, for making magical memories!
� In “Elf – The Musical,” Buddy is spreading holiday cheer and sugary sweetness to audiences at the 5th Avenue Theatre in a live musical adaptation of the popular movie starring Will Ferrell. For ages 5 years and older. Nov. 28–Dec. 28. Tickets $50–$160.
� No matter where you live in the Puget Sound, you won’t have to look far to find a seasonal ice rink for your family’s skating enjoyment. An Eastside favorite, Bellevue’s Downtown Ice Rink is the region’s largest. Olympia’s Oly on Ice is back in downtown’s Isthmus Park. Up north, skate among the over 9 million twinkling lights adorn-
ing Quil Ceda Village’s Tulalip Lights & Ice. Dates run well into the new year, with admission ranging from $6–$22, including skate rental. Check individual locations for details.
� Flurries are forecasted nightly at Snowflake Lane, Bellevue’s holiday extravaganza, so grab a spot on the sidewalk near Bellevue Square to see the “snow” fall and watch drummers and dancers perform along the parade route. Daily through Dec. 24 at 7 p.m. Free.
� Bundle up and head to a Puget Sound or Lake Washington beach to watch the parade of Christmas ships sparkle as they
cruise by. Singers belt out live choral music from the brightly lit boats. Ships depart from various ports and make stops in many locations on select dates through Dec. 23. Free to watch from dry land.
� Santa’s real-life reindeer crew has landed at Cougar Mountain Zoo during the Issaquah Reindeer Festival, where kids can also meet with Santa, feed the whole antlered team and take in a story time with an elf. Daily, Dec. 1–30 (except Dec. 24 and 25). Note: Santa does head back to the North Pole Dec. 26. Tickets cost $19.50–$22.50 and include zoo admission.
� It’s festive fun at the Seattle Center during Winterfest. Stop by the Armory to marvel at a charming model train and surrounding holiday village display. Winterfest runs daily through Dec. 31 (except Dec. 25), culminating with the famed Space Needle fireworks show on New Year’s Eve. Free.
� A sweet tooth’s dream come true, Seattle’s beloved Gingerbread Village is back at the Sheraton Grand Seattle. Viewing the Gingerbread Village is free, though donations to the local chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation are appreciated. Open daily through Jan. 1, including Christmas Day.
� Deck the Boughs replaces the beloved garden light display Wintertide Lights. Visit Evergreen Arboretum in the daylight to see the debut of this holiday showcase with ornaments and other decor handcrafted by members of the community. Decorations will be on view from Dec. 1–31, 6 a.m.–dusk.
� Bring your family to Seattle’s Paramount Theatre. The award-winning musical “The Lion King” is the Disney film brought to life on stage, inviting audiences to experience the “Circle of Life” firsthand. Recommended for ages 6 and older. Dec. 4, 2025–Jan. 4, 2026. Tickets start at $49.
� A magical Winter Wonderland is guaranteed at the Children’s Museum of Skagit County’s annual fest, complete with real
Dec. 4, 2025–Jan. 4, 2026
“The Lion King”
The Paramount Theatre
snow, live reindeer and visits with Santa. For those who prefer to stay warm and dry, there are indoor activities including simulated skiing and snowboarding and snow science. The fun is free for the whole family so head to Burlington Plaza, Dec. 5–7. The museum entrance is separate.
� Stroum Jewish Community Center welcomes kids one and all for hands-on Hanukkah activities during the Redmond Lights kick-off celebration from 4–7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 6. Stop by to spin the dreidel, craft a toy menorah and marvel at the glowing light installations. Activities are free.
� The Washington State Fair isn’t just about farm fun and carnival rides. Each December, the fairgrounds transform into Holiday Magic with seasonal wonders such as sparkling lights, train rides, “snowfall,” Santa visits, ice skating and festive food. Delight your crew with a visit Dec. 5–7, 12–14, 19–23. Admission costs $17.50–$25; ages 2 and younger are free.
� KidsQuest, the Eastside’s treasured children’s museum and hub for fun and learning turns 20 — and you’re invited to join in the milestone birthday bash. Friday, Dec. 12, 3–7 p.m., $17.75 per person or free with membership.
� Journey waaayyyy back to the Middle Triassic and Late Cretaceous Era at Jurassic Quest for a can’t-miss prehis-
Dec. 12 | Friday
KidsQuest 20th Birthday Bash
KidsQuest Children’s Museum
toric experience for dino fans. Walk with over 80 life-sized dinosaurs at the Washington State Fair Events Center. Friday–Sunday, Dec. 12–14. Starting at $23.95 per person; additional charge for rides. ■
SPONSORED EVENTS
Oly on Ice
Nov. 21-Jan. 19
Join us for winter fun in Downtown Olympia! Hours, tickets and more information at olyonice.com.
‘Elf - The Musical’ returns to The 5th Nov. 28-Dec. 28
Buddy the Elf is back in town! Based on the beloved holiday film, this festive musical adventure spreads laughter, joy and Christmas cheer for all! 5thavenue.org
Celebrating 20 years of playful fun
Join us for festivities all December
Celebrate our 20th birthday Dec. 12, 3–7 p.m. DJs and more! Can’t join? Enjoy Sweet Celebrations activations all month, free with admission. kidsquestmuseum.org
