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Sunday, 19 - 25 January, 2020 I Issue 154 I Pages 04 I Sections 06 I Rs 30
Nation’s democrats rejoicing after officer given choice career posting
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UBilation and celebrations were seen in the nation’s prodemocracy circles after an officer in the Pakistan army was given a key career posting. on thursday, Major general asif ghafoor, who was serving as Director general of the inter services Public Relations (isPR), was posted out to his new assignment as general officer
Commanding (goC) okara, a post once held by former army chief general Pervez Musharraf. Maj general ghafoor, who got his artillery commission in 1988, has already commanded an infantry division in swat, and is widely expected to get promoted to lieutenant general in several years’ time. a prominent officer, the
general has been in charge of the military’s increasing allocation of both resources and manpower for what it calls Fifth generation Warfare, and has built considerable linkages not just with the media but also political class. “Hah,” said seher Cheema, a pro-political parties blogger. “that will teach him to mess with us.” g
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PeMra slaps 60-day ban on tV viewers for not changing channels during Vawda boot episode
Nation’s nazriyati kids start 2020 with rude awakening that cuddly old Chacha Jamhuriyat doesn’t exist
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ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/ PESHAWAR/QUETTA
ation’s nazriyati children were given a collective rude awakening at the end of the traditional winter holiday period at the start of the new Year after they were told that their favourite Chacha Jamhuriyat doesn’t exist. While such a moment comes in every kid’s life, some taking more time than others, where they realise that the mythical being that they grew up admiring and hearing stories about, isn’t actually there in real life, for many the truth about Chacha Jamhuriyat has been especially hard to take. “this is the worst start to the new Year possible! How could there
not be any Chacha Jamhuriyat? How will the world ever be the same again?” questioned one nazriyati kid Fahad while bawling. “i remember the time i first realised that neither Chacha Jamhuriyat nor Khala Jamhuriyat ever existed in the 90s. My father tells me about feeling the same in the 70s,” said Fahad’s mother Fauzia. onlookers note that the fact that such unquestionable lack of evidence was collectively given to such a large number of nazriyati kids has also enhanced the overall gloom. “Unfortunately, every now and then a new mythical creature is created to humour these kids. i’ve been witnessing the same since i found out that Baba Jamhuriyat isn’t real in the 40s,” said 96-year-old retired polling agent Bashir Yaqoob. g
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He Pakistan electronic Media Regulatory authority has slapped a ban on Pakistan’s television viewership due to an episode of aRY’s On The Record on Monday, January, 2020. in a circular, PeMRa has directed Pakistan’s television audience not to watch television for a period of 60 days for violating code of ethics and protocols by not changing the channel during the Kashif abbasi-helmed programme, in which Pti leader and federal minister Faisal Vawda placed a military boot on the table while making a point. according to PeMRa, during the programme under discussion, one of the panellists (Vawda) “performed [a] very unethical act” while starting his arguments on the subject being discussed.
“subsequently, arguments made by Mr Vawda were not only extremely frivolous and derogatory but also an attempt to debase a state institution,” the notification dated Jan 15 read. “Furthermore, the role of the audience was also found to be extremely unprofessional and unpatriotic as they not
Personally lowered sukoon-starved civilian supremacy into grave: PM Khan
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ISLAMABAD
etoRting strongly to the opposition’s criticism of his statement that people will get peace only in grave, Prime Minister imran Khan on thursday categorically denied that his claim implied any helpless of the government. “on the contrary, it is the government, and even more specifically i myself, who has helped dig the grave of so many critical aspects of governing the state,” said PM
Khan, while talking exclusively with The Dependent. “For instance, this month alone i personally lowered the sukoon-starved civilian supremacy into its grave. Yes, i was definitely helped by others – after all you need three more shoulders for a funeral procession – but few can take away the credit from me,” he added. PM Khan maintained that the government has been similarly active in laying other
crises in the country to rest, all of which will soon be found in their respective graves. “the economy would’ve been resting in peace by now, but unfortunately the international Monetary Fund intervened. so fiscal sukoon might take some more time, but i’m confident that the economy – like governance, foreign policy, security policy, among others – would be done and dusted, by the time we are done with them,” he said. g
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only refused to change the channel but also seemed to have called friends and family members on the phone to ask them to switch to this channel,” read the notice. this recent ban follows that on anchor Kashif abbasi. till the filing of this report, PeMRa has not yet placed a ban against Vawda. g
Satire
E D I TO R ’S N OT E The Dependent is a completely satirical publication. The articles within are not true and meant to be taken in good humour. The Dependent is an “equal opportunity offender” and we would urge all concerned to humour our attempts at humour.
The Dependent is a completely satirical publication. The articles within are not true and are meant to be taken in good humour.