WEB_OTE_Issue 23 June 2026

EDGE OVERthe

“The Edgy Editorial”

Welcome to the June edition of Over the Edge. Summer is finally here and hopefully we have some warm weather to look forward to. The warm weather certainly makes putting out the magazines more pleasant. On that note, our thanks go out to Isabella and Amelia, who distribute over 2,000 magazines through letterboxes and to businesses all over Chelmsford and of course to Phil, who shares the remaining 8,000 magazines with yours truly. It sounds a lot to put out, but regular top-ups of selected venues soon see the magazines disappear. We probably get through half of those in the six supermarkets that we cover, namely Tesco and Asda in Chelmsford, Sainsbury’s on the Boreham interchange, Tesco Black Notley, Morrisons Maldon and Sainsbury’s Ongar. The magazines fly from the dispensers in the supermarket, with readers literally taking the magazines from our hands. It’s a nice opportunity to meet our readers, so we are fine with that.

This month, our esteemed columnists are joined by Paul Fuggle, aka Fugsy, who knows everything there is to know about Artificial Intelligence (AI). It certainly

seems like it when he is talking to a virtual know-nothing like me. Paul has created Edge Agentic specifically to help businesses in Chelmsford and Essex, and it includes live functionality that you can click on, and it will tell you how AI can help your business today. Please visit http://www. edgeagentic.co.uk and I promise you will be amazed by what AI can do for you. Fugsy is going to assist Over the Edge in using AI, and we will share with you how this helps the magazine move into the 21st century. In the meantime, look at Fugsy’s regular column. You’ll find it on page 16, along with a QR code that you can scan to take you to Edge Agentic. It’s incredible and will share innovative ideas to improve your business using AI. I won’t lie, it absolutely blows my mind if I’m honest with you.

Enjoy the June edition of Over the Edge. Thank you to all of our wonderful advertisers, columnists and of course our readers. We would be nothing without you all. Deaks (not a robot)

Over the Edge graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

There are many places in the world where history feels discrete and distant — often arranged behind glass, labelled, and carefully curated. But there are others where the past refuses to rest quietly, looming over you, vast and with a mystical quality about it. Teotihuacan is one such place.

It lies about 30 miles northeast of Mexico City, far enough out for the traffic congestion to finally ease. Here, the dense unplanned urban sprawl gives way to a wide, scrub-dotted valley, and Teotihuacan rises from the plain. I visited in 2020, knowing a bit about its significance — one of the great archaeological sites of the world — but I certainly wasn’t prepared for its scale.

I’ve been fortunate enough to stand among the ruins of ancient Rome, to wander through the towering columns of Karnak, and to explore the jungle-clad temples of Angkor Wat. Each tells a tale of the civilisation that built it — the Romans with their order and engineering, the Egyptians with their dynasties and deities, the Khmer with their intricate artistry and religious devotion. But Teotihuacan feels different. Its impact is just as powerful, but its tales are in a language we do not fully understand.

Teotihuacan is not what its ancient builders called it. The name comes from the Aztecs, who discovered the alreadyabandoned city centuries after its fall and

TEOTIHUACAN

named it “the place where the gods were created.” By then, the story of the city had already been lost.

As I climbed the Pyramid of the Sun and walked along the broad central avenue — the Avenue of the Dead — I sensed that the ancients were reaching for something divine. The scale is breathtaking: a city laid out with geometric precision, stretching for over two miles. At its height, in the early centuries AD, Teotihuacan is thought to have been one of the largest cities on Earth, home to over 100,000 people.

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For all its physical presence, Teotihuacan is defined as much by absence. Unlike Rome, there are no written records to inform us. Unlike Karnak, no long lists of rulers and dynasties. Unlike Angkor, no inscriptions explaining belief systems or daily life. The people who built Teotihuacan left no decipherable written language behind. Their identity remains uncertain — not a single known ruler, not even a name for the civilisation itself. Its silence is intriguing and adds to its sense of mystery.

Proin a felis vel nulla vulputate tincidunt vitae in velit. Vivamus pellentesque fermentum sem eget gravida. Aliquam ut egestas est, in elementum tellus. Etiam pulvinar magna a purus cursus tincidunt. Donec nec purus eget eros accumsan tristique sed non eros. Aliquam erat volutpat. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Pellentesque ullamcorper nulla sed velit cursus efficitur. Nam nec lacus vel quam semper euismod ac id odio. Nulla convallis massa at arcu cursus tincidunt. Donec finibus lacus eget velit placerat, eget fringilla orci congue.

What little we do know comes from archaeology. The city was highly organised, with evidence of social structure and sophisticated urban planning—apartment compounds, ordered streets, and a vast central axis. Murals depict gods, animals, and ritual scenes, hinting at spiritual life.

The big question is: why did it fall? By the 6th or 7th century AD, Teotihuacan was in decline. There is evidence of fire and destruction, possibly the result of internal unrest. Other theories suggest environmental pressures — drought, overuse of resources, or shifting trade routes. As with so much here, there are no firm answers.

And perhaps it is this absence of answers that explains something else: its near absence from cinema. Of the great ancient sites I’ve visited, Rome strides confidently across the screen in Gladiator, emperors and arenas brought vividly to life by Russell Crowe and his co-stars. Karnak appears, briefly but memorably, as the backdrop for Roger Moore and Barbara Bach in The Spy Who Loved Me. And Angkor Wat has become almost synonymous with cinematic adventure as the setting for Alicia Vikander’s portrayal of Lara Croft in Tomb Raider. Teotihuacan, by contrast, remains curiously absent.

As I boarded the mini-bus and left the site, the pyramids slowly receded, but the questions did not. Of all the ancient places I’ve visited, this is the one that lingers most — not because of what I learnt, but because of the eerie sense of the unexplained and the mystery that prevails even now, years after my visit.

WON’T PASS THIS WAY AGAIN

The Literary Corner

by Kat de Naoum

Hello and happy June! The days are getting longer, the weather is supposedly getting warmer (any day now…), and the TBR pile is somehow getting even fatter. I’ve been having a bit of trouble settling on this month’s Book of the Month. Not because I haven’t read anything recent — I have — but because nothing has quite grabbed me hard enough to demand the spotlight. The “Oldie but Goodie” section, meanwhile? I could probably fill an entire magazine with that one alone. Lately, I’ve been deep in the Russians. Completely immersed. I’m currently rereading War and Peace and savouring every last page. At this point, it’s become less of a reading experience and more of a lifestyle choice. I’ve listened to both the full unabridged audiobook and the BBC radio dramatisations, and I’ve even managed to rope my eight-year-old daughter into the Tolstoy obsession too. We’ve also started watching the BBC TV adaptation with Lily James, and I can only imagine the confused looks my daughter gets at school casually mentioning her love of Tolstoy. With a mother like me, it was inevitable. It’s also been a bit of a life lesson. She’s learned about how some mothers don’t survive childbirth, especially in the olden days (“You’re so lucky you didn’t die giving birth to me, Mummy,”) and how, when a child dies, the mother goes crazy. Quite literally. Good times. She’s also completely befuddled about the whole concept of war. Why do people go to war? Why do people die in wars and what for? She’s come to the rather perceptive conclusion that war is stupid and that men start wars, therefore men = stupid. Hey, I didn’t say it, don’t shoot the messenger! That said, I finally got around to reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, which has been sitting on my TBR pile for what feels like most of my adult life. Despite the hype and acclaim surrounding it over the years, I’d never picked it up, but I’m very glad I finally did. Enjoy!

Book of the Month — June 2026

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (2000)

Michael Chabon

The late, great Nora Ephron turned me on to this book in her 2006 memoir, I Feel Bad About My Neck, in which she said it swept her away and brought her to tears. It’s probably the only one of her book recs

I didn’t immediately rush out to read, mainly because for the longest time I assumed it was some sort of superhero fantasy novel, like the idiot that I am. I made the rookie mistake of judging a book by its title.

Anyhoo, this book feels alive from the very first page. It’s set during New York’s Golden Age of comic books — an era I’ve been slightly obsessed with ever since watching (and rewatching many, many times throughout my childhood) the 1955 movie Artists and Models with Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. Martin was a comic book illustrator and Lewis wrote these incredibly PG children’s stories (Freddy the Fieldmouse and Goosy Goose levels of wholesome), much to Martin’s dismay. But then Lewis would sleep-talk these bizarrely violent, gory stories that were all the rage in comics at the time, and Martin would secretly write them down and… Okay, hold up. I’ve gone off on a tangent again. Bring it back, Kat.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay is about teenage cousins Joe Kavalier (who is also a magician) and Sammy Clay (a witty writer and dreamer), who create a very successful superhero called The Escapist in the years leading up to World War II. The name of their superhero is poignant because escapism is a big theme throughout the book. Escape as an art form, but also from reality, debt, life in general, and the very real threat at the time of the Nazis. I loved the characters, with all their flaws, and by the end, I didn’t want to leave them behind. It’s melancholic, but there’s also humour, hope, and lots of heart. Of course, it wouldn’t be a proper Kat recommendation unless at least a little soul-crushing was involved. Yet again, my apologies.

Oldie but Goodie

War and Peace (1869) Leo Tolstoy

Since my Book of the Month is pretty old now (although 2000 still feels like about three years ago to me), I had to take the Oldie but Goodie way back. We’re talking 1869 back. The first time I tried to read War and Peace (and the second, and the third),

I simply couldn’t. I ended up borrowing the audiobook CDs from the library and playing them on my beloved Bush mini hi-fi system, which at the time was basically my entire existence. Trying to physically read the novel just sent me straight to sleep. As an adult, though, I absolutely love it. I savour every word. Every time I reread War and Peace, I discover something new. Yes, it’s enormous. Yes, there are enough characters to populate a small country. And yes, there are moments where you lose track of who anybody is. But once you settle in, and despite the copious happenings (wars, politics, history, illnesses, and love affairs galore), it’s strangely addictive. It’s remarkable how Tolstoy, born nearly 200 years ago, captures people in a way that still feels completely recognisable today. (Side note: Pierre Bezukhov is one of literature’s greatest hot messes and I adore him.) There’s tragedy here (obvi. This is Tolstoy we’re talking about. Remember Anna Karenina? Yeah. That guy), but despite the heartbreak and heavy themes, it’s somehow still such a joy to read. If its sheer size puts you off, try the audiobook (read by Thandiwe Newton), and if even that feels intimidating, then absolutely give one (or both) of the two BBC Radio dramatisations a go. If my eight-year-old can do it, you can too.

About Kat

Kat de Naoum (BA (Hons) Eng Lit & Phil, MA Creative Writing) is a writer/author, editor, mother, and avid reader. Since starting out as a staff writer at a local London paper in 1999, Kat has written for many print and online publications. When not writing or parenting, her head’s in a book (or plugged into an audiobook).

katdenaoum.com

@chelmsfordforyou

My M goodn d ess ss, wh w at a bus usy month t it’s ’ been!! !!!

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Cup 2026 and if you

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Design Inspiration for the Population

Furniture, First Decisions, and Building a Business Space

There is a particular energy to a business setting up its first proper space. It is rarely calm. More often, it is a mixture of urgency and optimism, decisions made quickly, budgets stretched, and a quiet belief

The space itself is usually empty, or close to it. A shell waiting to be defined. Desks, chairs, meeting tables, storage, all still to come. At this stage, furniture is often treated as a finishing layer, something to be resolved once more immediate pressures of the business have been

In reality, it is one of the most important decisions a business will make.

Most startups and small businesses operate under pressure from the outset. Budgets are tight, timelines are short, and priorities are understandably focused on growth, staffing, and survival. Furniture, in that context, becomes an area where savings feel logical. Cheaper options are selected, decisions are made quickly, and the

What appears to be a saving at the beginning often becomes a cost later. Furniture that wears quickly, fails to adapt, or simply does not support the way people work will need to be replaced far sooner than expected. The business pays twice, once at the start, and again when the compromise

Furniture is not decoration. It is not an afterthought, it is infrastructure. It defines how people sit, how they move,

This is not about predicting the future perfectly. It is about allowing for it.

Starting as a Startup | For startups, the challenge is often more acute. Limited space, limited budget, and a need to move quickly can lead to decisions that prioritise speed over structure. The first office is rarely permanent, but the decisions made within it have a habit of staying. What begins as a temporary solution often becomes a long term compromise. Starting well does not mean over committing. It means making a small number of informed decisions that allow the business to evolve without constant disruption. Flexible desk systems, durable seating, and considered zoning can support a team as it grows, rather than holding it back.

Thinking in phases is often the most effective approach. Establish a clear foundation, allow space for expansion, and avoid solutions that will need to be replaced within the first few years.

The objective is not perfection. It is momentum, supported by decisions that will continue to make sense as the business develops.

Experience Matters | In over three decades of designing interiors and working closely with furniture, one thing has remained consistent, early decisions have long consequences.

At Workplace Designs (WDL), we work with startups, small offices, and growing businesses to help them make the right decisions from the outset. The approach is simple. Understand how the business operates, how it is likely to grow, and what level of flexibility is required.

We have seen businesses constrained by early choices that did not consider scale or adaptability. We have also seen spaces that continue to perform years later because the right foundations were put in place at the start. This is not about supplying furniture. It is about guiding decisions. The difference is rarely budget. It is almost always experience.

Beyond the First Impression | There is a natural tendency to prioritise how a space looks when it is first completed. It is, after all, a visible milestone.

But the real test of a space is not how it looks on day one. It is how it performs over time.

Furniture that lasts, adapts, and continues to support the business as it changes is far more valuable than something that simply photographs well.

The goal is not to create a moment. It is to create a working environment that endures.

Starting Well | Looking back across many projects, the businesses that perform best spatially are not those that spent the most, but those that started well.

They made considered decisions. They understood where to invest. They allowed for growth. And importantly, they listened to experience.

Furniture is one of the first physical expressions of a business. It sets the tone, shapes behaviour, and supports the people within it every day. Getting it right at the beginning is not a luxury. It is a foundation.

lecting systems rather than fixed solutions. It means choosing pieces that can be reconfigured, expanded, or relocated as the business evolves.

For businesses looking to get started, or to revisit early decisions, guidance can make a significant difference. More information can be found at td.com, where we share examples, approaches, and ways of

And like any good foundation, it is rarely seen, but always felt.

workspace for a

Open plan workspace with integrated meeting rooms, breakout areas, and support functions. Designed for phased growth, with repeatable desk layouts and clear circulation.

Zoning balances focus and collaboration, while maintaining flexibility for change.

| Email: DesignDude.20@gmail.com

There are two types of people who go away for a glamorous weekend in Milan. The organised travellers with colour-coded itineraries, sensible footwear, and airport alarms set to go off approximately 17 times. And then there’s us.

Our trip very nearly ended before it had even started after waking up roughly an hour and fifteen minutes later than intended, thanks to the discovery that the 24-hour clock system is, in fact, a real thing and not just something airports made up for decoration. Apparently, 03:00 and 3pm are not interchangeable. Who knew?

What followed was less “luxury city break” and more sprint relay through the airport like we were the stars of Home Alone.

Milan: The Land of Aperol and Carbs

We stayed just outside the centre of Milan, which turned out to be the perfect balance between glamorous Italian city life and “slightly more affordable Aperol territory.”

Milan is exactly what you imagine Italy should feel like. Beautiful people.

Beautiful buildings.

Beautifully carb-heavy menus.

The Italians truly understand the important things in life: pasta should never be rushed, Aperol spritz should appear before you’re halfway through the previous one, and a mid-afternoon nap is actually called ‘siesta’, and it’s obligatory to the culture.

Frankly, I think Essex could learn a thing or two.

The Duomo, Designer Shops & Bulls Testicles

A day in the city naturally meant a visit to the stunning Duomo di Milano, where we spent most of our time alternating between admiring the breathtaking architecture and trying to remember how many Aperol spritz we’d consumed before lunch. Answer: It’s best not to count.

Nearby sits the jaw-dropping Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, arguably the most glamorous shopping centre on earth and a place where simply breathing near a handbag feels like we belong on the fashion runway.

Of course, no trip there is complete without spinning three times on the famous bull mosaic’s private parts using the heel of your right foot for good luck.

Of course, we participated enthusiastically. Mostly because we needed all the financial luck available after seeing the price tags inside. I’m fairly certain one fridge magnet cost more than my first car.

The Italian women somehow floated through the place looking sophisticated and effortlessly stylish, all without a single sequin, festival glitter pot or pair of white cowboy boots in sight. Let’s face it, it’s a concept us Essex girls may never fully understand.

Navigli: Milan’s

Younger Sister

Now, if Milan city centre is polished luxury, Navigli is its effortlessly cool younger sister.

And most importantly, the Aperol there was roughly a third of the price, meaning we naturally consumed approximately three times as many. It quickly became our favourite part of the city.

Live music drifted out of every other bar, market stalls lined the canals selling everything from handmade jewellery to suspiciously cheap ‘official’ football shirts, and the whole area had that relaxed, buzzy atmosphere that makes you stay out five hours longer than planned.

A canal tour is well worth doing too, giving a glimpse into how the waterways helped shape Milan into the city it is today. Although admittedly, our own historical knowledge became a lot less reliable after cocktail number four.

Lakes & Lemoncello

Now, if you have the time, a trip to both Lake Como and Lake Garda is absolutely essential.

Limoncello tastes different with your toes dipped into one of the world’s most famous lakes while wisteria hangs over winding little Italian lanes like something from a film set. The romance of it all was only slightly interrupted by the smell of our rental car clutch aggressively burning out every time we approached an incline bigger than 5%.

A valuable lesson was learned during this trip: Never trust the phrase “Ford Kuga or similar.” Because there is absolutely nothing remotely similar between a Ford Kuga and a Fiat Panda the size of a carry-on suitcase.

Trying to fit a 6’4 man, two suitcases and a fully grown Essex woman into what felt like a 49cc lawnmower on wheels gave strong Fred Flintstone energy all weekend. I’m fairly certain we could have accelerated faster by using our feet. Still, a huge amount of respect has now been gained for Italian drivers, who somehow throw these tiny cars confidently around mountain roads while overtaking lorries, the bravery normally reserved for banger car racing drivers, whilst simultaneously being overtaken by pensioners on Vespas.

Final Thoughts (And One Last Aperol)

Milan somehow manages to feel glamorous, sophisticated and relaxed all at once. That’s exactly the charm of it.

Beneath the stunning buildings, the endless pasta and the impossibly stylish locals, Italy has mastered something the rest of the world is still trying to figure out:

Life is meant to be enjoyed slowly. Always with carbs.

And ideally with an Aperol spritz in hand. This is a life mantra we were more than happy to fully commit to.

Beyond the Chatbots: The AI Era Comes to Chelmsford

By Paul Fuggle | Monthly AI Column

If you feel like Artificial Intelligence is moving at lightning speed, you aren’t alone. It was only late 2022 when ChatGPT first "broke" the internet, turning AI from a sci -fi concept into a household name. For many, that was the introduction to Generative AI tools like ChatGPT, Google’s Gemini, and Claude that act as incredible digital assistants. But as we move through 2026, the global conversation is shifting. We are moving away from simply "chatting" with computers and toward a world where they execute work for us.

The Evolution: From Words to Actions

Edge Agentic

I founded Edge Agentic right here in Chelmsford to help our local businesses adopt AI into their operations. My goal is to ensure that Essex businesses from sole traders in the city centre to larger firms across the county aren't left behind in the AI race.

The first major leap was the move into Multimodal AI. It simply means AI stopped being "text only" like basic chatbots. Modern tools can now see images, hear voices, and "watch" videos to understand context. It moved from being a librarian you talk to into a companion that sees the world alongside you. However, the real game-changer arrived in 2025 with the adoption of Chain of Thought (CoT) reasoning. In the early days, AI essentially guessed the next most likely word in a sentence. It was "thinking" while it was speaking. Today, modern models can "pause" and plan. They break complex requests into logical, sequential steps behind the scenes before they ever start typing. This shift from "guessing" to "planning" has fundamentally changed how we use AI technology.

Edge Agentic is your first stop to power up your business and have your own bespoke AI solutions designed and built that can quickly enhance and transform your business. We have had incredible feedback from our local clients already and have launched an Custom AI

AI System Designer that can show you the bespoke AI solutions that we can build for you.

What Edge Agentic Does

they "guessing" to has

The Rise of Trustworthy Coding

This development.

This logical planning has revolutionised the world of IT development. You no longer need to be a master programmer to create an app or website. Because AI can now reason through a problem, it can write entire blocks of code based on a simple description of what you need. More importantly, it has mastered autonomous bug fixing. In the past, AI-generated code often had "hallucinations" or errors. Now, the AI can test its own work, find the "cracks" in the logic, and fix them before a human ever sees the result. This has made AI-driven development incredibly trustworthy and accessible for small business who engage with the right partners.

The Goal: From Chatbots to Agents

We’ll send you a proposal of several automated AI powered systems that we can easily integrate into your business. We’ll work together to choose the one that’s right for you now, and then we’ll discuss the exact functionality and solution that would work best within your setup. No generic tools or apps, we’ll only build custom functionality that works for you.

We’re confident that we can build your solution within a month and start delivering value to your business quickly.

If you’re someone who is constantly chasing payments or clients, we have solutions for you. If you’re regularly spending all your time building out quotes, we have solutions for you. If you want to have an intelligent system to manage your social media or answer your missed calls , we have solutions for you. If you’re curious on what we can do for you, check out our tools and website below.

This brings us to the most exciting development: Most people use AI as a chat tool. You ask it a question, and it gives an answer. The 2026 shift is now towards “ AI Agents”. Think of an agent as a person or a tool with a specific job. Some of the most simplistic agents that you may notice in your existing apps are: Personalised Email Readers that pre -sort your inbox; Diary Managers that negotiate meeting times for you; or News Summarisers that only ping you when a story relevant to your interests breaks.

The final frontier is connecting individual agents into an Agentic System, a network of digital workers that talk to each other to provide a bigger solution. Imagine one agent finding leads, another drafting custom proposals, and a third updating client info, all working together without needing help.

That’s Agentic AI

SCAN TO VISIT EDGE AGENTIC: Or visit us at: www.edgeagentic.co.uk

Design your AI system

Our AI Design Tool is completely free and it will immediately recommend some AI systems for your business that we can build to help reduce repetitive tasks, grow your client base, or add new functionality.

We encourage everyone to explore our AI Design Tool and see exactly what an Agentic AI system could do for your business.

Paul Fuggle is the founder of Edge Agentic, a Chelmsford -based company specialising in bespoke AI systems.

Local AI News: Chelmsford - A City of Innovation

Six talented students from South Essex College recently took to the stage to present real -world AI concepts to the technology firm Sharp. Beating out over 100 competition entries, the finalists designed practical AI tools ranging from an "AI ShopAssist" for retail customers to an automated helpdesk manager. The event highlighted how the next generation in Essex is successfully and responsibly applying AI to solve everyday business challenges.

Key organizations and researchers gathered at the University of Essex for a dedicated AI Summit aimed at unlocking the benefits of artificial intelligence for communities across Essex and Chelmsford. The summit showcased how local AI research is already making a posi tive impact, with ongoing projects that help manage hospital waiting lists, improve crop outputs on local farms, and deliver safety solutions f or regional warehouses. As part of an ongoing AI Collaborations Series, Anglia Ruskin University (ARU) hosted a creative session featuring a Google DeepMind researcher The workshop explored "Fabula" a new interactive app built on the Gemini language model that helps fiction writers structure stories and brainstorm ideas. The event highlighted the highly positive potential of AI as a collaborative, creative sidekick for writers and the wi der arts community. Imagine what we can achieve with AI when tools are tailored specifically for your business.

A New Monthly Feature

This column will be a regular monthly feature here in Over the Edge. Each month, I’ll be demystifying the latest tech and highlighting amazing use cases from the local companies partnering with Edge Agentic. Don't miss our July edition, where I’ll be sharing the first success stories of Essex businesses putting these digital agents to work!

Pure and Simple Funerals

“I feel reassured and supported every day. I only have to ask if I want anything.” Angela, care home resident

At Care UK’s Manor Lodge in Chelmsford, every resident is supported to live their life the way they choose. Our experienced team takes pride in offering quality residential, nursing, dementia and respite care.

Angela, a Care UK care home resident, shares how the support and reassurance of the team has improved her confidence – and her health.

‘I feel very reassured’

Moving into a care home is a big change. That’s why our teams take extra care to help residents settle in quickly and effortlessly. Angela says the consistent support not only made her feel safe, but also comfortable and confident in her new home. “I only have to ask if I want anything,” Angela says, particularly from the maintenance team. “They repaired my broken pen in just a moment’s notice. They’ve hung up my many pictures and helped me to plant bulbs and plants in the patio garden. I feel very reassured and supported in my daily life.”

Knowing that the home provides 24-hour care gives Angela peace of mind. “I like to know that the team is checking on me regularly during the day and night. At first, I thought it was a bit intrusive, but now I realise it is a

very secure feeling to know somebody’s checking on you so frequently.”

‘My health has improved’

Not only has the team’s care helped Angela to live a more comfortable life, it has also supported her health. “My health has improved a lot,” she says. “I feel calmer and happier than at home where I lived alone. In fact, the district nurse took my blood pressure the other day and it was normal for the first time for years because I’m relaxed.”

Angela’s physical health is also supported by exercise sessions run by

the home’s activities team. When living on her own, Angela travelled to exercise classes, but after she stopped driving she could no longer attend. Now, she enjoys being active again. “I take full advantage of all of those,” she says.

Trust us to care

We provide support and reassurance around the clock to make every part of your loved one’s stay with us safe and comfortable.

Care UK is a leading independent care home provider with some of the highest quality ratings of the UK’s larger care providers, and over 40 years’ experience of delivering high-quality care to older people.

For more information about Manor Lodge in Chelmsford, call 01245 904876 or visit careuk.com/manor-lodge

is proud to support

Samantha is a local nurse and is passionate about the work that charities perform locally and nationally. Samantha will promote charities on this page free of charge and is particularly interested to hear about smaller local charities. If you wish to share your story or promote a local or national charity dear to you, we’d love to hear from you at: enquiries@overtheedgemag.co.uk.

Update on Becky’s Garden

It’s been six months since I shared my ambitious dream with you, and now it’s almost a reality. The preparation is complete for my Showcase Garden, and all I can do is hope all the hard work put into the planning comes together and the build goes as smoothly as possible this June. Together with Support 4 Sight, we have raised an incredible £10,000 - a milestone that would not have been possible without kindness and generosity, so a massive thank you to every single person who donated!

As an amateur gardener, stepping into one of the UK’s flagship horticultural shows, building the right team alongside me, has been key. Birmingham-based Ned Harvey Gardens will be completing the hard landscaping elements of the build, bringing a wealth of knowledge and expertise. I have a team of eager volunteers ready to assist with planting. The bespoke ‘interpretation planter’ filled with plants chosen to engage every sense – scent, taste, touch and sound has been built by local Essex Carpenter, James Cole (JMC Carpentry), and Wickfordbased Meadow Croft Garden Centre has been amazing at helping me source most of the plants for the build, so I am very grateful for their support.

Yet as the finishing touches come together, the garden now carries a deeper meaning. The entire concept was born from a personal connection, and heartbreakingly, the man at the centre of that inspiration, my dad, passed away in April. ‘Sensed, Not Seen’ will be a safe, accessible garden and aims to celebrate the senses beyond sight, showing that nature and gardening can be enjoyed by all.

For more info/buy tickets: https://www. bbcgardenersworldlive.com or find @itsbeckysgarden on Instagram to follow the journey.

Please

01621 778741

07787 752703

07893 767910

enquiries@justeasybathing.co.uk

Family, Friends and Memories

Let it be said, there isn’t anything more important in life (apart from your health) than making good memories with your family and friends. And over the last month or so, that’s exactly what I’ve been fortunate enough to have been doing.

After participating in Hyrox with my daughter, the next big event on the calendar was my Dad’s 70th birthday, celebrated at the Angel in Kelvedon. If you haven’t been there recently or at all, I can definitely recommend it. The food and service were second to none.

Thankfully, Mother had us booked in to

celebrate Dad’s big day, otherwise we would have struggled to get a table on said early Friday evening.

As Mum and Dad are regulars (evident from them being on first-name terms with the staff), we thought it best to take on board their recommendations on what to eat.

The chicken fillet dippers and gravy I had to start with were out of this world and should have the (KFC) Colonel looking over his shoulder, because whatever their “secret” recipe is on the fillet and gravy, it smashes his one out of the park.

I followed this up with “The Angel” burger and its special homemade sauce, and finished my meal with a warm sugar-coated doughnut and ice cream.

Great food, lovely atmosphere and surroundings and even better company.

A nice evening was had by all……not that my Dad remembered everything about it the next day, this wasn’t caused by alcohol, I will add, but sadly by his Alzheimer’s and dementia. Another reminder to make the most of every day whilst you can.

Norwich

On the 4th of May bank holiday weekend, we had a nice family day out to Norwich, mainly to pop into a fantastic independent retro store called Cosmic Jo’s to see what goodies they had during the Star Wars “May the 4th be with you” celebrations.

Myself and Mrs Polak had previously been to the store at Christmas time last

year and remembered the owner saying we really should visit again during the May celebration period, as he brings in some items from his own personal vintage Star Wars collection to be viewed and in some cases purchased. My daughter’s boyfriend joked on the way up, asking whether I had brought my credit card to (and I quote) “do my arse in there.” And, lo and behold, he wasn’t wrong. Five minutes in the store and I got drawn to two lovely original 1980 and 1983 Star Wars figures still on their cards and bubbles, and promptly hot-footed it to the counter to purchase them before someone else did.

Then we had a nice stroll around the rest of the city, a few coffee pit stops and a nice meal at the Cosy Club before heading back to sunny Essex.

The next day Mrs Polak and I went to Bluewater to get a few freebies on offer, including building a N-1 Starship from the new Mandalorian and Grogu movie at the Lego store, although I almost didn’t make it into the shop after a rogue droid decided to come straight at me and pushed me up and almost over the upper floor barrier. Needs to be sold back to the Jawas that one!

Mortal Kombat 2

To finish off a decent few weeks, I had the pleasure of taking my brother from another mother at work, Mr Amos, to the UK fan event premiere for the movie, Mortal Kombat 2.

After we did a bit of retro geek shopping, we headed to the London Waterloo BFI IMAX, collected our guest wristbands and headed upstairs to the pre-showing of the film party.

Here, they had a DJ pumping out some upbeat tunes, a few games to win prizes (Mr Amos came away a winner from one of the competitions on offer to enter), and then we grabbed some drinks before heading to our seats, which turned out to be two rows in front of the stars of the film. And, after the stars did a 15-minute pre-film Q&A session, it was time to sit back, relax with our popcorn in a rather neat MK2 popcorn box, and enjoy two hours of pure chaotic adrenaline-fuelled martial art action. That, alongside a good offering of humour also chucked in by the bucket load, made this a very entertaining movie that definitely doesn’t take itself too seriously and knows the audience it’s aiming for. You don’t have to be a fan of the video games or even have seen any other Mortal Kombat films to watch this one, but if you did, or have played the games, there are plenty of nods and winks to keep the fanboys happy. Yup, a good few weeks enjoyed with the people I love and care about, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Till next time

The Polak xx

OVER LINE LOCAL SPORT UPDATES the

ESSEX CRICKET

Jodi Grewcock Makes England Debut

been named in the England Pathway squad in February 2025, invited to the England Women’s T20 World Cup training camp last September, and included in the England Women Performance Programme during the 2025/26 winter period.

Grewcock made her England debut at Chester-le-Street (Durham) on Sunday 10 May against New Zealand where she was capped as number 156.

Essex Women Duo Nominated for PCA Player of the Month

to have lots of supporters down at Essex, there’s always a lot of them and it’s nice to get their recognition.

“I know that if I’m scoring runs and taking wickets for Essex then I’m going to be in a good place. I just try to keep things simple, stay calm and try and play my game and help the team.

“My first professional hundred was a really special moment for me, getting to three figures was amazing. The best part was winning the game for Essex, it felt like a real team win.”

NETBALL

Maldon Netball Club is a thriving, competitive club at the heart of the local sporting community, proudly fielding three teamsMaldon Diamonds, Maldon Sapphires and Maldon Pearls in the Chelmsford District Netball League. Our teams continue to go from strength to strength, with both Diamonds and Sapphires progressing steadily to Division 6 and enjoying consistent success in the 2026 season, finishing in the top three.

Jodi Grewcock earned her first call-up to the England Women’s ODI squad for their series against New Zealand. Grewcock’s selection follows a series of impressive performances for Essex, underlining her consistency and impact at domestic level. Her progression through the England setups has been steady, having

Four Named in England Over-60s World Cup Squad

At the beginning of May, Essex Senior players, Mel Hussain, Neil Brathwaite, Phil Hillson, and Vince Mulholland were all named in the England Over-60s World Cup squad for August.

All-rounders Jodi Grewcock and Sophia Smale were nominated for the Professional Cricketers’ Association Player of the Month for April. Essex Women dominated the PCA Player of the Month shortlist for April, as Grewcock and Smale took two of the four spots from across the counties.

Jodi Grewcock Named PCA Player of the Month

An exceptional month continued for Jodi Grewcock as she was awarded the PCA Women’s Player of the Month award for April.

Having last picked up a PCA Player of the Month award in August 2023, Grewcock’s brilliant start to the 2026 season saw her average 107 with the bat, scoring 321 runs – including her first ever professional hundred.

That innings of 120 from just 116 balls against Somerset Women helped Essex Women claim victory. The 21-year-old also scored two half-centuries throughout April.

On winning the award, Grewcock said: “It means a lot when the votes come in from your peers and the fans and it’s really nice to receive the award. It’s great

Mel Hussain, who will serve as vice-captain, is the second-most capped player and the thirdhighest run scorer in England 60s history. Neil Brathwaite, who scored 61 in the fifth ODI of the Grey Ashes last summer, will be looking to build on his 15 England 60s appearances since making his debut in 2022.

Phil Hillson and Vince Mulholland are both yet to make their England 60s debuts, but earned selection after impressing on the Lions’ winter tour to India.

Beyond competition, we are a close-knit and welcoming group of netball enthusiasts who value not just performance, but the friendships the sport brings. We pride ourselves on creating a supportive environment where players can develop, improve and enjoy the game.

As we look to grow, we are keen to welcome experienced players, particularly those eager to train and compete in Division 6. We train every Monday in Maldon and always have plenty of fun along the way.

Interested? Email maldon. nc@outlook.com and come join us!

formerly known as The Edge, from the previous owner, Shaun, who amassed 321 editions over 26 years, in July 2024. The first edition of the all-new Over the Edge magazine came out in August 2024 and promptly cost me money! The magazine never broke even until month four, so it’s safe to say we are fortunate to still be here! I am pleased that we stuck it out. I’m very proud of what we have achieved, and I’m very grateful to the columnists, advertisers, to our readers and of course to Phil, Paula and Matt. I can’t promise to match Shaun with another quarter of a century, but perhaps someone younger will want to take it forward in a few years’ time. No one can deny that The Edge/ Over the Edge is part of the Chelmsford fabric now. Long live Over the Edge.

On that historic bombshell, thank you for reading my latest nonsense. It’s June already, and the summer is upon us. Let’s all hope for a long, warm summer so that we can keep the heating off for as long as possible. Failing that, I might need to take out a mortgage to top up my oil tank in October. I’m not kidding! The cost of my heating oil has risen threefold in three months, and my tank is

running on fumes. I refuse to pay these ridiculous prices, so I’ll hang it out until the prices come down. If they come down……

I am sorry to end on a negative note; that’s not like me. Have a fabulous June, folks, and I’ll see you all in July.

Thank you for supporting Over the Edge magazine. TTFN

Deaks

Over the Edge

graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

Hello folks

I love it when I get feedback on an article in the magazine. Certain articles and certain columnists often attract a lot of emails from readers saying how much they enjoy what they have read. It always amuses me that the most talked-about page in the magazine is the Only Joking page. We enjoy putting it together, and we are very selective to make sure that we only share the best jokes. This is why we created The Old Jokes Home on the website, where we place all jokes that have ever appeared in Over the Edge. You will find all the rib-tickling jokes here: https://www. overtheedgemag.co.uk/old-jokes-home

I digress, as I often do. The reason I mentioned readers writing in is that my column last month on the value of friends touched a lot of readers, prompting them to write in. Readers shared with me that they also have a group of old friends who go back many years, whilst others mentioned one friend in particular who has been in their life forever. A couple of readers told me that they envied me as they did not have old friends who have always featured in their lives, and that made me sad. I considered sharing the stories here, but I received so many messages that I didn’t want to exclude any, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to do the messages justice. Perhaps I’ll write a separate article in another edition. Anyhow, thank you for reaching out. I always try to reply.

In other news, Over the Edge is coming up to its second birthday. I took the magazine over,

Good day everyone and thanks for reading my column this month.

are we now facing a backward step? The office community have always been quite precious about who they sit with and it seems that more and more companies are bringing back offices, which I do not agree with – this is a movement away from collaboration in the workplace.

are downright

criteria for having the right POD?

offices and were being

For those of you that are not familiar, I have shown an image of something which we are installing into our projects currently.

Firstly, I would like to say congrats to Deaks for all of the great work over the last 3 months, pulling together some amazing features. This month’s interview with the legendary Joe Cole on page 26 is amazing. What a sublime piece of fortune, to be able to interview such a star of WHUFC.

Boxed-In

I suppose all of my columns to date are focussed on the new norm since the pandemic. More and more people are working from home with ‘Agile’ and ‘Hybrid’ solutions popping up everywhere.

desk in the open plan with their teams. One of my rebellious customers showed great creativity to build his own pre-millennium POD using cardboard.

Many designers in the industry will take Style over Substance, but there is a balance, each requiring compromise.

Interestingly, over the last 5 years, furniture manufacturers have really pushed the concept of smaller individual PODs onto the design industry for placement into commercial space. On the flip-side, as Designers, we have spent 20 years working towards a more collaborative ‘Open

The office environment is a simple one but complicated by so many people having a different view, which is good, but as a Designer, it can be frustrating. Of course, nobody wants to be told what to do or to be dictated to, but imagine if we had spaces which were so disjointed that an eclectic felt dizzy!

Local Plumbing & Heating Engineers, Supporting Local People (and Pets)

West Hanningfield Road, Great Baddow, Chelmsford, Essex, CM2 7SY

Office environments are certainly becoming more ‘homely’ and comfortable. The placement of elegant leather sofas, comfy armchairs and footstools etc help this along. However, the introduction of PODs, if used as they should, and NOT as makeshift individual offices will certainly work and adds further interest. If the whole community could see these as another space to enjoy when they want to ‘focus’ or take some time to work remotely it would be great. Last month, I spoke about having our place of work for everyone, not just the chosen few and the introduction of PODs means that anyone could have their ‘15 minutes’.

We, as a design firm (Workplace Designs Ltd) have currently engaged with a factory to make our own, which I have to say are both stunning and practical with high acoustic properties.

In 1995 I designed the offices for XeroxUK with a concerted shift away from cellular space, which I can state, for this particular community was enormous. Once, one of the most successful companies in the world and cash rich until the patent for their devices ran out (c1975) thereby allowing Cannon & Ricoh et al to clamber all-over their market share.

So, on the Monday morning after the move into the new facility, there he was with 2m high cardboard walls surrounding his desk, he had even constructed a cardboard roof with a sliding cardboard door which he taped shut! I think if we had smartphones back then, it would have gone viral – it was amazing!

Nowadays, we have the most incredible opportunities with our work spaces, as many firms try hard to create a great environment for their staff. NB: it is never perfect for us all and it will never be easy, but with a little compromise, it can be better than we had before and closer to our ideal.

Last month I mentioned that we would be running a competition, which has been delayed, so please tune in next month for your chance to win one of those amazing Dinosaur heads

Thanks for reading

Design Dude

Inspiration for the Population

Please feel free to email: DesignDude.20@gmail.com

O N LY

O N LY

J O K I N G !

J O K I N G !

Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, “How’s the singing career going?”

“Good boy!” and then he asks,

“What is the opposite of smooth?”

Dog replies, “Rough”

I asked my wife what she thought the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn naked. She responded, “They would think I married you for your money!”

“That’s my boy!” the guy says and pats him on the head.

“Who was the best Scotland goalkeeper of all time?”

I said to my wife, “Your underwear is much too tight and revealing”, and she replied, “Then wear your own.”

Stevie replies, “Not too bad. How’s the golf?” Woods replies, “Not too bad, I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right now.”

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer ‘smoking’ or ‘non-smoking’. Apparently, the correct terms are cremation or burial.

If Smurfs suffocate, what colour do they turn?

“Rough” barks the dog. The ringmaster says, “Get out of here and stop wasting my time!” and pushes them out of his office and slams the door.

Stevie says, “I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right.” Incredulous, Tiger says, “You play GOLF?”

Husband: “When I get cross with you, you never argue back. How do you control your anger?”

Wife: “I clean the toilet.”

Husband: “How does that help?”

Stevie says, “Yes, I’ve been playing for years.”

Wife: “I use your toothbrush.”

Tiger says, “But man, you’re blind! How can you play golf if you can’t see?”

A copper pulled me over for speeding and said to me, “If you can give me a reasonable excuse I’ve never heard before, l’ll let you go.”

I said, “Several years ago, my husband ran off with his secretary. I thought you were trying to bring him back to me.”

Stevie Wonder replies, “Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green, and again I play the ball towards his voice.”

“But, how do you putt?” asks Tiger.

The copper replied. “Just slow down a bit and have a nice day madam.”

“Well”, says Stevie, “I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball toward his voice.” Tiger asks, “What’s your handicap?”

Before my Grandfather died, he told me that he got to see the Titanic and that from the very beginning, he told them the passengers shouldn’t get on board because he knew it was going to sink. But nobody listened, and he repeatedly told them right up to the minute they kicked him out of the cinema.

Stevie says, “Well, actually, I’m a scratch golfer.” Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, “We’ve got to play a round sometime.”

My local barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I’ve been his customer for 6 years, and I had no idea he was a barber.

Stevie replies, “Well, people don’t take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?” Woods thinks about it and says, “I can afford that, $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?”

Stevie Wonder says, “How about we tee off at midnight tonight?”

A man takes his dog to the circus and tells the ringmaster that his dog can speak English and that he should be in the circus. The ringmaster says, “That’s rubbish. Prove it.”

The man says, “Ok, I will’ and he asks his dog three questions:

“What is on top of a house?” The dog replies, “Roof”

A bloke walks into a bar in Toronto and orders a drink. The bartender asks him, “What brings you to Canada?” The bloke says, “Well, I was in a pub, and the beer mat under my glass said ‘Drink Canada Dry’ so, I thought I’d give it a go.”

My husband and I have found a great way to make our marriage last. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant for some wine, great food and good conversation. He goes on a Tuesday, and I go on a Friday.

Last night I got pulled over by a WPC. When she told me to step out of the car, she said: “You’re staggering!” I replied, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Three bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with smiles on their faces.

Whilst walking back to the car, the dog looks up at his master and says, “Do you think I should have said Jim Leighton?”

A man has been shot with a starting pistol and then beaten with a relay baton. Police believe it may be a race-related attack.

The police officer asks the coroner why they are all smiling, and the coroner explains that the first guy died of a heart attack while having sex, the second guy won the lottery and died moments after receiving the news and the last guy was struck by lightning. The police officer asks why he was smiling, and the coroner says that he thought he was having his photo taken.

My therapist said I should get an emotional support animal. So, l got a chicken. Deep fried. It came with a chocolate milkshake. I feel better already.

My wife and I were lying in bed last night when she said, “Whisper filthy things to me.”

women prefer a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear through his chest. Further research has been cancelled.

I asked the lass at the chemist if they’d got any Benylin.

“For cough?” she said.

I said, “Whoa, I only asked.”

Sir Keir Starmer was visiting a small English village, and he asked the villagers what the government could do for them.

I replied, “Bathroom, kitchen, living room.” And that was how the fight started.

I’ve been given the top job at McDonald’s. I’m the C-I-E-I-O.

I was getting out of the shower when my girlfriend said, “You’re getting fat, just look at that belly. When was the last time you saw your pecker?” I replied, “It’s been a long time to be fair.” She said, “Why don’t you diet?” I replied, “Why, what colour is it now?”

A recent study showed that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

Am I the only one who buys a dozen reusable supermarket shopping bags and leaves them in the car every single time? Nope, I thought not.

The chairman of the parish council explained, “We have two big needs. Firstly, we have a health centre, but no doctor.”

My wife asked me, “What would be the female equivalent of a man cave?”

I said to her, “That would be a kitchen.”

Starmer immediately whipped out his mobile phone, spoke for a while and then said, “I’ve sorted it, a doctor will arrive here tomorrow morning. What is your other pressing requirement?”

I’m not surprised; I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I was at a funeral yesterday when I asked the vicar for the WiFi code and he shouted, “Please, have some respect for the deceased,” and I replied, “Is that all in lower case, vicar?”

Why did the old man fall into a well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

If you are attracted to both women and men, but neither of them are attracted to you, that means you are bi-yourself.

By the way, does anyone have a place I can stay for a few nights?

The chairman of the parish council replied, “We have no mobile phone reception in the village.”

A wife’s prayer; Dear God

Teacher: “Why are you late?”

Student: “My parents were fighting!”

I told my wife the Amazon driver claims to have slept with every woman in our street except one! My wife said, “It’s probably that stuck-up bitch at No.14.”

I ordered a Chinese take away last night. As I got in the car, I heard the bag rustle. I looked over and saw a pair of eyes looking out the top of the bag at me, then they disappeared back inside. I looked and saw it again. I ran back into the shop with the bag and asked the owner what was going on? He replied, ‘Don’t worry, it’s just the peeking duck.’

“Doctor, I feel like a supermarket.”

“How long have you felt like this?’

“Since I was Lidl!”

You gave me a childhood... You took it away...

Teacher: “Is that a valid reason to be late?”

You gave me youth...

You took it away...

Student: “My mum was using one of my shoes to beat my dad with so I had to wait until she was done.”

You gave me a husband... It’s been years now, I’m just saying.

The police came to my house today and said, “It looks like your husband has been hit by a bus.”

I asked my daughter to give me the phone book. She laughed at me, called me a dinosaur and then passed me her iPhone. Now the spider is dead, the iPhone is broken and my daughter isn’t talking to me.

I said, “I know, but other than that, he has a lovely personality and he’s great with the kids”

I stopped trusting the English language when the teacher said:

A husband died, and a few years later the wife died. When she got to heaven, she saw her husband and ran up to him with tears in her eyes. “Darling, oh how I’ve missed you,” she says. The husband extends his arms, stopping her from embracing him, “Steady there woman, the contract was until death.”

Two lads are talking, and one says, “I’ve found a pen, is it yours?”

The other lad replies, “I don’t know, give it here”. He writes with it and says, “Yes, it’s definitely mine”, and the first lad says, “How do you know?” to which the second lad says, “Because that’s my handwriting.”

When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Can someone please tell me what LGBTQ+ stands for?

My local coffee shop has a sign that reads, “No Wi-Fi, just pretend it’s 1973.”

So, I paid 15p for my coffee and lit up a cigarette.

“Give her her pen” was correct but, “Give him him pen” was incorrect.

My dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. I’ve dropped him off at the vets. Still no word yet. (That one is for Lucy!

the vets. Still no word yet. (That one is for Lucy!

A study found that a woman’s attraction to a man’s face varies with her menstrual cycle. Ovulating women prefer rugged masculine features, whereas pre-menstrual

Nobody is giving me a straight answer.

My eldest daughter has recently developed a fascination with the soft toy brand Jellycat. Now, I’ll admit, they are quite cute. They’ve got that quirky, slightly odd charm about them and they’re definitely a bit different from the teddy bears I remember growing up with. What I cannot get my head around, however, is the price. A fairly standard Jellycat is about £40. Forty pounds! For what is essentially fabric and stuffing. Honestly, when I was younger, if someone had told me one day people would willingly spend that much money on a cuddly aubergine or a smiling croissant, I’d have thought society had completely collapsed.

Anyway, being a good dad, I agreed to take my daughter to the famous Jellycat experience at Selfridges in London. And yes, unbelievably, there is such a thing. Essentially, it’s a mock fish and chip van where staff theatrically “serve” you soft toy versions of fish, chips, mushy peas, vinegar and salt-shakers. Imagine a fish and chip shop, but everything is fluffy and eye-wateringly expensive.

Now, I expected it to be busy. What I didn’t expect was a queue of nearly two hours. Two hours! To buy soft toys pretending to be chips. And after all that waiting? Each individual item was around £40. So there I was, standing in Selfridges, spending the best part of £200 on stuffed food while questioning every financial decision I’ve ever made. But here’s the really shocking bit: about 80% of the people coming out weren’t children. They were fully grown adults. Adults willingly queueing for hours to buy smiling plush cod and chips. Now, my daughter absolutely loved it, which made

it worthwhile. But honestly, the whole experience left me thinking, what on earth is the world coming to?

Twists, Turns and Total VAR Nonsense

So, here we are; the business end of the football season. At the time of writing, there are just three games left, and as a West Ham fan, I can confirm my stress levels are now medically concerning. We currently find ourselves in a perilous position in the relegation zone, sitting one point behind Tottenham with some very awkward fixtures still to come — starting with title-chasing Arsenal. By the time you read this, that result will already be known. My head says it’ll probably be a brutal hammering with Declan Rice inevitably scoring just to rub salt into the wound. My heart, however, still believes football might deliver one last miracle.

One silver lining of relegation? No more VAR. Honestly, that might be worth the drop on its own. West Ham recently lost 3–0 to Brentford, but the scoreline didn’t tell the story at all. We hit the woodwork multiple times and were on the wrong end of some baffling refereeing and VAR decisions. Mavropanos was clearly fouled in the build-up to one goal, and we had two very strong penalty shouts waved away. Now, I’m not saying there’s a conspiracy… but if you watched some of the decisions against us this season, you’d certainly start checking if the officials had a side hustle selling Tottenham shirts. Most frustrating of all was Aston Villa seemingly rolling over against Spurs. One of the limpest Premier League performances I can remember. Then, days later, they suddenly looked world-class again in Europe. Convenient timing, depending on your viewpoint.

Still, as every fan eventually admits, West Ham only have themselves to blame. We’ve had enough chances this season. But football rarely follows the script, and I still think there are a few twists left before the curtain closes.

As for Spurs fans already talking about Champions League qualification football next season; steady on lads. You’ve beaten Wolves and an Aston Villa side that looked like they’d won a competition to play football. The real test comes next. For now, all I ask is this: please let it go down to the final day. I’m not ready for the Championship just yet.

Driving Me Round the Bend

I don’t know whether it’s because I’m getting older and grumpier, but honestly, the standard of driving on British roads now seems absolutely appalling. I’ve been driving for around 25 years, and I genuinely think it’s worse than it’s ever been. There seems to be no patience, no courtesy, and absolutely no tolerance from other road users. Everyone is in such a desperate rush to get somewhere that basic common sense appears to have gone out of the window. Modern cars probably don’t help. They’re so fast and high-performing now that I think they’ve outgrown the abilities of some of the people behind the wheel.

A recent example summed it up perfectly. I was driving down towards the Army and Navy roundabout, coming off the filter lane and indicating to move across into the right-hand lane to turn at the roundabout. Nothing dramatic. Just normal driving. Then suddenly, in my rearview mirror, I saw someone absolutely flying towards me at what must have

been well over 100mph. They zigzagged aggressively through traffic, squeezed in front of me, and then, seemingly out of pure rage, repeatedly slammed on their brakes. Now, apart from being unbelievably dangerous, it also made absolutely no sense. If they were supposedly in such a hurry, why spend time brake-testing someone and slowing themselves down?

That’s what strikes me most about driving these days. People seem to treat the roads like it’s real-life Mario Kart. Everyone thinks they own the road. Nobody lets anyone out at junctions. Even when traffic is stationary, drivers will happily sit bumper-to-bumper rather than allow another car to merge. Ironically, I think this aggressive driving actually slows everyone down. A little bit of courtesy would probably get us all home quicker and considerably safer too. Because at the end of the day, one silly manoeuvre in a car isn’t just annoying. It can change lives forever.

UNLOCK YOUR CAPITAL FROM YOUR HOME

upon

Hold my Beer

Over the Edge AppealSupport Your Local Pubs

There was a time when every neighbourhood, village and town in Essex had a thriving local pub at its heart. It was where people met friends, celebrated birthdays, watched football, joined quiz nights and simply enjoyed a conversation over a pint. Sadly, those traditional community hubs are disappearing at an alarming rate.

Across the UK, pubs are continuing to close at an alarming rate, with around two shutting every day in the first three months of 2026. New figures from the British Beer and Pub Association (BBPA) show 161 pubs closed across England, Scotland and Wales in Q1 alone, leading to the loss of around 2,400 jobs. Britain has lost more than 16,000 pubs since the year 2000.

The reasons are varied but painfully familiar to landlords and customers alike. Rising energy bills, increasing business rates, higher staffing costs, inflation, taxation and changing social habits have all placed enormous pressure on the trade. Many pubs are operating on extremely tight margins, and once a pub closes, it is often converted into housing or another business and lost forever.

and backgrounds can gather socially. For many older residents, it can help combat loneliness and isolation. For younger people, it provides employment and a place to meet friends away from screens and social media. Local pubs also support breweries, food suppliers, musicians, taxi firms and countless other businesses connected to the hospitality trade.

And at this time of year, there are few better ways to enjoy spring and early summer than sitting in a pub garden with family or friends. Essex is blessed with countless welcoming pubs, from traditional village inns to lively town-centre establishments. Whether it is a quiet Sunday lunch, an evening drink after work or simply a coffee in the sunshine, every visit helps.

Of course, times are difficult for many households too, and nobody expects people to spend beyond their means. But if those who can afford the occasional visit choose to stay at home instead, more pubs will inevitably disappear.

Once gone, they rarely return.

That is why communities across Chelmsford and Essex should think carefully before taking their local for granted.

A pub is far more than somewhere to buy a drink. It is often one of the few remaining places where people of all ages

Over e Edge Global Reach

So perhaps the message this spring is a simple one: support your local pub – or risk losing it forever. Use it or lose it.

CHELMSFORD’S GHOST PUBS

This month we extend our thanks to Patrick Chaplin, an Over the Edge reader who has kindly shared his recollections of ‘The Animals’ from sixty years ago.

The Lion & Lamb

Why should I remember the Lion & Lamb, a large Ind Coope establishment that used to stand on the left-hand side of Duke Street heading from the railway station to the town, now long gone and currently replaced by wasteland which, many years ago, was known as Glebe Field? The old photo here shows the Lion & Lamb at the beginning of the 20th century, looking down towards the cathedral. This building was replaced by the one I knew decades later.

I have no memories of the nightlife of the pub we affectionately called ‘The Animals.’ I never met my future wife in the saloon bar or even fell in love there, and I certainly never attended (or was even invited to attend) any

Not so much global reach this month as pubs that Deak’s is known to drink in! Bottom line is, we have had no one send in photos of them reading the magazine in far-reaching locations, so we have had to improvise.

Global Reach has run for almost 2 years; perhaps it is time to retire it and think of something else. Mind you, if you are planning your summer holidays and you have space in your case for the magazine then you know what to do.

Our photos this month feature Mark and Collins reading the magazine in The White Hart in Little Waltham and Tom, Yaz and Colleen all reading the magazine in The Ship in Broomfield Road. Wonderful pubs, wonderful people. You are welcome.

posh ‘do’ held in the large ballroom behind the long façade. This is long before the ballroom was turned into a nightclub. This was back in the late 1960s/early 1970s, and my memories of ‘The Animals’ related purely to a good number of happy lunchtimes spent there, mainly with or occasionally without friends. The welcome was always, er, welcoming, although names of the bar staff have been consigned to the depths of my poor brain, but the lady who cut us the huge ham rolls off a joint (out in the corridor between the Public and the Saloon bar leading to the ballroom) had a smile that could light up a room. That quality snack would be accompanied by (in my case) a pint consisting of ‘stout and cider’ (a half pint bottle of Nightcap

stout mixed with a half pint bottle of Woodpecker (sweet) cider). Having said that, my diary entry for 23rd August 1968, one of many similar entries during that year referring to the pub, read that a mate and I ‘decided to go to the ‘Lion and Lamb. We had a half (of a pint) and a ham roll each. Quite enjoyable.’

Cost might have been a factor in that case as I was only earning £45 per week at that time but my mind tells me that stout and cider, my usual affordable tipple, cost over 2s 6d (13p).

The other photo (left) shows two of my friends, Barry Cutler (left) and Mick Purkiss, popping in for refreshment during a break in our learning at the Mid-Essex Technical College and School of Art on day release.

Simple but such enjoyable times.

Vic on the Telly

Vic on the Telly

I recently decided to watch Power: The Downfall of Huw Edwards. I viewed it on My5, but it was on Channel 5 when first shown. From what I gather, it was based on the viewpoint of the 17-year-old Ryan Davies. It showed the sleazy side of Huw Edwards; the grooming, the outcome, and how it affected people. It wasn’t an easy watch, but Martin Clunes was good as Huw. The real mystery is how someone so respected can be so sleazy.

I have now watched series one and two on iPlayer. There may be a third series next year.

Next up is produced by Sidemen on Netflix. It seems to be a mixture of Big Brother and I’m a Celebrity Get

It is a Belfast based police drama that is set after the troubles. Both series had 6 episodes each. Both series had an arc of other stuff. It has been reviewed as a great show which I agree with. There will be many more series as the BBC believes in this series. It is worth a watch and you can see if you like it.

My column for Over the Edge will be talking and reviewing television and films. It will include anything watchable. It will be called vicontvandfilms. Since watching television and films has changed over the years, streaming will be included.

Me Out of Here. KSI is the main host along with an entourage. I’m watching Series 3. Twelve content creator contestants go head-tohead to win whatever remains of the initial £million prize money. They lose various amounts of money if they choose to consume various luxuries. They also lose money for ducking out of tasks. It is a chaotic reality show.

House of Dragon

dragons, caused by a lie, two Targaryens siblings lead two opposing armies. One brother should rightly be on the throne but is not; his brother having been mistakenly put there. It’s a little slower and has fantastic scenery.

As you might have read in the last edition of The Edge, me and the Mrs changed our tv package from Virgin Media to Now TV. The Now TV package also had Sky Atlantic included, a channel I have admired from afar.

unsettling world of manfluencers. Next up is What’s in the Box. An American game/quiz show, it reminds me of Unlimited Win by Ant and Dec. The value of the prizes puts it up there. It has lots of contestants who battle to get high/ low lists correct to generate words that then fit into a three main word puzzle. The three words give a clue

comedy in it too and it made me think about other TV trivia game shows. There was one a few years ago called Paul Sinha’s TV Showdown - Paul Sinha of Chase fame. It wasn’t very good. It had a celebrity panel too.

The first series to be reviewed is a controversial one, The Tattooist of Auschwitz. I had seen it advertised on television and when we changed provider I was able to see it. It will not be everyone’s cup of tea. A lot of people have asked how can you make a drama out of the holocaust? They did!

2 was advertised to start in June.

https://www.overtheedgemag.co.uk/

This series was based on Heather Morris’s book of the same name. It’s brutal, disturbing and devastating. It covers the relationship between Lala Sololov and Gita in the concentration camp of Auschwitz. Lala, the protagonist in the television drama, switches between now and the time in the camp. Like all programmes it is littered with historical inaccuracies. I think it is worth a watch, I binged it in two weeks.

Listening to the intro music brought back memories of Game of Thrones.

Smart TV

Channel 5, so I decided to watch it. which Joanna Scanlan produces a powerful performance. The pacing and plotting are a bit questionable. It’s about a daughter who goes missing while on a French exchange trip. The mum missed a very early morning call. It portrays parental panic, mystery and small-town secrets. It might have stretched the plot rather thinly.

The third television programme review is Rob Beckett’s Smart TV, a game show based on TV knowledge.

TV Showdown brought back memories of Telly Addicts. I was a 10 year old kid when it first started and was near abouts my 20’s when it ended. My knowledge of TV back then was not that great, but it has grown. This mostly had the general public as contestants with the occasional celebrity. It was hosted by Noel Edmonds.

Another series box set I have watched lately is True Detective. I watched the first series and all of the fourth series called the Night Country. Season one was the best of the two in my opinion. From the haunting song at the beginning “Far from any road” by the Handsome Family, series one had the back and forth timelines of the two main characters Rusty Cohle and Marty Hart who were played by Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson respectively. Two polar opposites working together to solve a very gruesome murder and other crimes. This season had two male main characters.

beheadings, molten gold crowns, crushed heads etc. The main storyline of Series 2 was the warring factions of the Targaryens, the greens and the blacks. Readying for the war of the

I also watched the Louis Theroux “Inside the It was a sharp but uneven documentary that exposes the insecurity, misogyny and the financial grift of manfluencers. It’s a disturbing insight into the flawed,

The format is two teams of three celebrities with one of them as a permanent captain, these being Alison Hammond Widdecombe.

The host, as it says, is Rob Beckett. It has elements of

The fourth season has two female detectives solving the disappearance of a set of scientists from a research centre. The only flashbacks are how things happened. This one’s main characters are Liz Danvers and Evangeline Navarro played by Jodie Foster and Kali Reis respectively. I have been a fan of Foster since I was little.

I’m ending this month’s article with a review of The Neighbourhood hosted by Graham Norton. It is a fun premise with a weak execution. The concept of the show is intriguing, but the gameplay and challenges seem shallow. The show places families or groups of friends in houses in a purpose-built cul-desac. They compete to stay in or be voted out. Will I watch more? Not sure!

THE

EDGE OVERthe

Big Interview

How

Carla Pooran Built SkinRenewal

Clinic, and Why Skin Confidence Matters More Than Ever

Most women don’t think about their skin until something feels off. Until what used to work suddenly doesn’t. Until confidence quietly wobbles.

For Colchester-based skin specialist Carla Pooran, that experience is personal, and it’s what shaped her career. Shannon Kate Murray recently caught up with Carla to chat about her business journey.

Let’s start at the beginning. How did your own experience with skin shape the path you took?

Carla: “As someone who struggled with acne throughout my teenage years and into adulthood, I know firsthand how deeply skin can affect confidence. This isn’t just my work - it’s my passion, my purpose, and something I truly understand.”

You’ve worked in the beauty and aesthetics industry for over 20 years. What shaped your approach?

Carla: “I’ve worked in the industry for over 20 years and have had invaluable handson experience with all skin conditions. I’ve worked alongside some of the top doctors and dermatologists in London’s Harley Street and Essex, and I’ve always prided myself on staying up to date in an ever-growing industry.”

What do you wish women understood sooner about their skin?

Carla: “That no two skins are the same. What works brilliantly for one person can make someone else’s skin worse. Following trends or other people’s routines doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right for you. Be patient, be consistent, and it will pay off.”

What led you to open SkinRenewal Clinic in Colchester?

Carla: “After years of building a client base and training other professionals - including doctors, nurses and therapists - I followed my lifelong dream and launched SkinRenewal Clinic.

I wanted to create a private, boutique clinic where I could deliver advanced treatments, personalised one-to-one care, and truly expert advice. I also wanted flexibility for my family, and a business built on integrity and results.”

Abo the terviewer

People didn’t just want products - they wanted the right advice.”

40+ Skin Bootcamp?

Is that what led to creating

“Yes. I realised so many information online and didn’t shouldn’t be doing for their skin at

40+ Skin Bootcamp is a guided sixweek online programme I created to help people understand what’s happening to their skin as hormones properly - without feeling confused

Not everyone can attend a clinic regularly, so I wanted to educate and support people from the comfort of their own home - with a guided programme led by real expertise, not

people felt overwhelmed by know what they should or this stage of life. guided as change, and how to support it or pressured. people led influencers.”

Looking back, what has running your own business taught you?

“That you need to follow your

ideas and be willing to take risks - but stay grounded. Don’t compare yourself to others, and make time for yourself to avoid burnout. changed over time?

You’re known for investing in advanced technology. Why is that important to you?

Carla: “I’ve always reinvested back into the business to make sure my clients receive the best possible treatments. I don’t follow trends - I research thoroughly and only introduce devices and skincare that are safe, clinically backed, and results-driven.”

In recent years, your work has focused more on skin changes in midlife. What were you noticing?

Carla: “Many of my clients - especially those over 40 - were experiencing hormonal changes that affected their skin. Dryness one day, breakouts the next, more inflammation overall. It’s incredibly common, but not always talked about.”

Carla: “With age, your definition changes. I feel successful when my clients are happy and see results - that brings me joy.

I care deeply about what I do. I want to make a difference, not build a chain of clinics.”

I want women and men to feel more confident in their skin, and having two businesses allows me to bridge a gap I’ve seen in this industry.”

And finally, what do you hope readers take from your journey?

Carla: “I hope it reassures people that help is out there. Great skin doesn’t have to be complicated or overwhelming. No two skins are the same - and taking advice from professionals really matters.”

Edge 320 new_The Edge 172.qxd 17/02/2025 18:46 Page 29

‘Man on the Omnibus........still’Clapham

The Charts

I write this article whilst sitting in the waiting room of yet another hospital. Mrs M is the patient this time, not me, although I will be back in hospital in Mid-May. So yes, you can take out the proverbial large onion and start to weep in moderation! In this context, the charts at the end of the bed have a whole different meaning to today’s subject matter. But back in the early to mid-70s, these charts were just as important to us teenagers as any medical chart could ever be.

It’s hard to get an understanding of just how crucial “the charts” were. When something gets its own tag that everybody knows what it refers to instantly, then you know it’s embedded in the popular culture. Life really did revolve around what was number one in the charts each week. The big announcement was on Thursday at lunchtime on Radio 1 and then, more importantly, on the countdown on Top of the Pops on Thursday evening. How big, you ask? The viewing audience was regularly between 11 and 15 million, peaking in 1979 at 19 million viewers. Match that against today, when a ‘big’ show may get 5 million, and everybody is happy, and remember most of those audience numbers were made up of teenagers who then went out and bought records!

a move toward a more ‘official’ version. As the mighty 1970’s golden period commenced, the charts were adopted by the officially recognised industry body called the British Market Research Bureau (BRMB). A mysterious organisation run by men in suits for screaming teens, monitoring music, an awful lot of which, it turned out, was being made by child molesters!

Of course, with ‘the charts’ being such an important thing, our Thursday night didn’t begin until just after 7pm when TOTP’s announced the number 1. It also attracted the money men; us teenagers had pocket money and a fair bit of it too. There were always reports and press investigations into fixing, the act of rigging the chart, or attempting to, had the great name of “Payola”. We are talking sales of up to 2 million records for some of the super hits back then. That’s a lot of vinyl shifted at (then) 50p a time. Fixing the charts back then meant getting airplay, bribing radio stations and DJ’s through to purchasing a lot of units from the shops where the sales were recorded. Today’s fixers have it easy and just have to hit the download button on their pc! TV programmes regularly ‘exposed’ chart-rigging scandals, but we didn’t really care.

The charts are still important to some. My youngest daughter spent a year working for a major popstar, I am talking a pop god, in his London office. Her first and most important task each day was to prepare all worldwide charts of all combinations and send them off to him wherever he was in the world. This guy has been selling millions of records since the early 1970’s, and still the charts are vital to him.

50s-style drainpipe trousers and bootlace ties, to Levi jeans rolled up over our DM boots to ultra-smart tonic trousers and Crombie overcoats to match the music.

The UK Singles Chart isn’t just a British thing; it has always been internationally important, and thanks to the internet, it’s become a global obsession. Why? Because the internet loves a good underdog story (don’t we all) and the UK chart often delivers just that. It’s where unexpected hits and people get their moment in the sun, and where viral sensations can temporarily be on top of the world!

The first chart was created back in November 1952, when the New Musical Express magazine (another lost phenomenon) published the top 12 selling singles. The first number 1 was a big slushy ballad called “Here in my heart”, trust me, your great-gran loved it. The scientific method of compiling this top 12? A chap called Gerald Whinfrey simply carried out a survey by ringing selected record shops. Soon, other music magazines such as Melody Maker and Record Mirror were in on the act and publishing their own charts.

As the 1960’s progressed, the charts started to centralise into one amalgamated chart and

The record industry had a good go at ‘fixing’ in a more legal way by offering freebies with singles. This saw people buying the single to get the t-shirt or stickers without being bothered about the record. Culturally, the charts were a real snapshot of the buying public, especially when records were available in all sorts of retailers. A very narrow band of radio stations played a very broad range of music, meaning novelty records that sold in their millions sat as uneasy bedfellows with serious music in the chart. Radio 1 in the 70’s was the most listened to radio station in the world, and some of its combined shows with Radio 2, i.e. the Sunday night chart rundown, had audiences of 20 million. You get the picture, if they played it, no matter how bad or schmaltzy, novelty or serious, you listened, you had to.

The charts were and remain culturally important. It is special because of its ability to reflect the zeitgeist in real time. From the Beatles to Ed Sheeran, the chart has been a barometer of musical tastes, trends, and even societal shifts. Where else are you going to get Showaddywaddy in the same chart as the Sex Pistols! The charts dictated what we wore as certain music types needed the appropriate dress code to go with it. In the early 1970’s in the space of a few weeks, we had gone from

The UK Singles Chart’s newfound global trendiness is about more than music; it’s about identity. We live in a time where the individual is being lost amid a tide of homogeneity, an era where algorithms increasingly dictate and influence what we see and hear. The chart offers a rare glimpse into what’s truly resonating with people. It’s a snapshot of the collective mood, a reflection of what’s trending on social media, and a testament to the power of fandom. It allows us to make a truly individual choice and stick two fingers up to the machine! If we want to buy a re-released Wombles single, then so be it. Trends will come and go, but the UK Singles Chart has proven its staying power.

The Edge 320 new_The Edge 172.qxd 17/02/2025 18:46 Page 29

The longest ever chart run? It’s not always down to big number ones. To date, Mr Brightside has spent an astonishing 503 weeks in the top 100 singles chart without ever getting to number one; who says it’s about coming first when you have staying power like that!

Yours aye,

Collect your copy of

at any of the following locations:

The White Hart, Little Waltham - The Galvin Green Man, Howe Street - Little Channels Bistro - Bang & OlufsenChannels Restaurant - Channels Café - Nationwide Building Soc - Rayleigh Hi-Fi - Park & Ride (Chelmer Valley & Sandon) - Moulsham News - Costa Coffee (Beaulieu, Riverside, Essex Regiment Way) - Coffee Squared, Beaulieu - Bond Street car park - Fête, Grays Yard - Mercedes, BMW/Mini, Land Rover & Audi showrooms - The Lion Inn, Boreham - Sainsbury’s Boreham - Longacres Garden Centre - NISA Sandford Rd - Tesco, Princes Rd - Miller & Carter - Fox & Raven - Co-Op, Bridge St, Writtle - 2MT Café, Roxwell Rd - The Ship - China City, Broomfield ParadeClaremont Garden Centre & The Tin Roof Café, Woodham Mortimer - The Royal Steamer - Jamaica Blue, Bond StACanteen, New London Rd - Mr Cavendish, Rainsford RdMeadow Croft Garden Centre, Battlesbridge - Toast - The Cricketers - Sandwich Plus, New St - Little Waltham Social Club & Doctors Surgery - The Hub Café, Warners FarmThe Rose of India, Rainsford Rd - Pontlands Park Hotel, Gt Baddow - The White Hart, Margaretting Tye - The Royal Tiger, Rettendon - The Vape Store, Broomfield ParadeTesco, Gt Notley Braintree - ASDA, Chelmer Village - The Riverside Inn - The Two Brewers - The Wheatsheaf - The Woolpack - O’Connor’s - United Brethren - The Orange Tree - The Queen’s Head - The Nags Head - The Railway Tavern - Morrisons, Maldon - Sainsbury’s, Chipping Ongar

The Cheese Sandwich Dilemma

The trouble with time travel is that it is full of dilemmas. You go back in time. Is it your past or an alternate reality past, and the same thing when you travel forwards in time; whose future is it, or when is it?

Those scientists working in the Transient Particle Unit, where they’d originally identified the tachyons, together with “High Energy” and “Sterile Neutrinos”, spent a lot of time pondering this dilemma. These researchers had first noted that those particles both appeared and disappeared instantaneously, and their mathematical calculations and modelling inferred that the particles were able to travel both backward and forward in time. So, the theory was that if you bombarded an object with these transient particles, depending on their velocity, you could propel an object either backwards or forwards in time.

The Cheese Sandwich Test was the basis for time travel. In their first series of tests, the scientists were able to send a Cheese Sandwich (mature Cheddar if you ask) backward in time, initially for ten seconds, then for longer periods of time and finally for twenty-four hours.

How did they know this? Well, they sent it back to their own lab where the scientists had already logged the arrival time of the sandwich, which they already knew, as it had already happened anyway.

Are you following this so far?

Now the important thing, dear readers, is that each sandwich was freshly made before being sent back in time, so it was whole when it left and whole when it arrived. So, the cheese sandwich, as it bounced back in time, followed a coherent time-

Old SilverGrey Surfer

line – it was made, sent back in time, and returned to its original timeline intact and as fresh as it was when sent.

Confidently, the scientists turned their attention to the exciting prospect of the transportation of the cheese sandwich into the future.

So, they repeated their tests, sending the cheese sandwich ten seconds, ten minutes, and ten hours into the future – smooth as silk. It was when they got more adventurous and started sending the cheese sandwich further and further into the future that they hit the dilemma.

A cheese sandwich was sent two weeks into the future; it departed smoothly and immediately returned to the point of origin with a large bite taken out of it.

So, the team shut down their experiment, and waited for the two weeks to elapse until the whole cheese sandwich they’d sent into the future appeared, which it did – a perfect cheese sandwich with a bite taken out of it. The partially eaten sandwich appeared, shimmered, and disappeared back into the past.

OK folks, so answer me this: how can a cheese sandwich made fresh today and sent into the future as a whole sandwich return to its past with a bite taken out from the future – was it/is it the original sandwich? Or where did it go and who or what bit into the cheese sandwich?

The scientists could only conclude that somewhere floating around in the universe of time there is a whole cheese sandwich waiting to be eaten.

Argentina

What are the Growing Conditions?

Everyone has heard of an Argentinian Malbec but how much do you really know about them?

Most vineyards above 1,000m altitude, which helps to stop the prevent the grapes from over ripening. There is a rain shadow caused by the Andes which means the grapes are not diluted during ripening. Zonda is a powerful cool wind that arises during late spring and early summer. However, hail is a huge threat, producers net their vines to prevent damage to the vines. El Niño is really heavy rain and hail every 2-10 years. This can devastate vines and entire vintages as seen in 2016 when yields were reduced by 25% (but 40% in Mendoza).

Malbec makes up 27% of Argentina’s total vineyard area, with plantings increasing by 350% between 1995 and 2018. Malbec was brought to Argentina by the French, although Argentina’s grapes are typically a bit smaller.

Zuccardi - Serie A 2024

This wine is known for its fruity, spicy, and supple profile. Big fruity sweetness of grape gummies, blackcurrant cordial, assorted fruit jams and stewed plums. Very soft tannins, less structured, but it is moderately rich. Clean finish, soft lingering sweetness, with a really lovely silky and rich texture. Widely available c.£15

El Enemigo 2022

Highly praised as a complex, elegant Mendoza Malbec with rich dark fruit and floral notes, integrated oak, smooth yet firm tannins, and a long, spicy, earthy finish, often scoring well for its balance of power and finesse. Although prominently labelled as a Malbec this wine is actually a blend, 90% Malbec / 8% Cabernet Franc / 2% Pinot Verdot.

Typical UK Price range £20£25

Quality Regulations

IP: covers large geographical areas, but not the country as a whole

IG: wines that meet a specific quality level and are made from a specific geological area, capable of making good wines

DOC: only two in the whole country, both located in Mendoza: Luján de Cuyo and San Rafeal. They have their own legislated wine-making criteria

Catena Zapata - Angelica Zapata 2020

Famous for its elegance, concentration, and complexity, showcasing rich dark fruits, violet notes, spicy oak, and velvety tannins. It has excellent balance and potential for ageing, offering a quintessential expression of high-altitude Argentine Malbec with significant critical acclaim and strong reviews. Available in Tesco £30

Pyros

- Single Vineyard

Block No.4 2022

A premium, high-altitude (1,400 metres above sea level) Malbec from the Pedernal Valley, known for its intense dark fruit with mineral, graphite, spice, and violet notes. This rich, full-bodied wine offers fine tannins, complexity, and freshness. The wine is built for ageing, though enjoyable now. Limited UK availability. Price range £25-£30.

Food pairing

Heavy strong meats or cheeses. Stews , pasties or burgers

By Hannah Banks

@hannahs_wine_diary

hannahswines@gmail.com

Apex (Netflix)

Hollywood would have you believe that Australia’s outback is the most dangerous place on Earth. Not because of crocodiles and venomous snakes. No, the real threat is psychotic white bushmen who drink hard, harass women, and kill tourists. Think Crocodile Dundee, only he’s a serial killer. Gory slasher, Wolf Creek, is perhaps the pinnacle of this horror subgenre, with its main antagonist, Mick Taylor, carving his way through unsuspecting backpackers and becoming somewhat of a horror icon.

Taron Egerton (Kingsman, Rocketman) is almost unrecognisable as an unhinged killer who hunts tourists not just for sport, but to eat their livers. With his filed-down pointy teeth and crazed stare, he has Charlize Theron’s extreme sports enthusiast, Sasha, in his sights.

After a tragic climbing accident, Sasha heads to the Australian wilderness for some white-water rafting to help overcome her grief, only to find herself in a deadly cat-andmouse game with crossbow-wielding maniac Ben.

Influenced by thrillers such as Deliverance, Cliffhanger and The River Wild, Apex is another typical Netflix movie: polished yet hollow. It’s so shiny it looks like it could be AI-generated, yet much of it was actually shot on location. It also suffers from some jarring continuity issues. At one point, our heroine is hiding under a rock, with the killer crawling down towards her, inches away from discovering her location. But then he vanishes, appearing moments later far away across a river. I had to rewind it to make sure I hadn’t missed anything, but no, he just seems to teleport away!

As a showcase for Charlize Theron’s impressive physical prowess and undeniable climbing ability, this is a passable distraction that, at a swift 90 minutes, doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Hokum (Cinema)

Apparently, the word “hokum” is an amalgamation of hocus pocus and bunkum — a dismissive term for fantastical stories that are considered nonsense. It’s an appropriate title, as the hocus-pocus goings-on in director Damien McCarthy’s latest spooky story may all be pure bunkum, but that’s for the viewer to decide.

Adam Scott is novelist Ohm Bauman, who is putting the final touches to his popular Conquistador trilogy. Before he does, he heads to Ireland to scatter his parents’ ashes and stays in a creepy old hotel deep in the woods. Ohm is told that the honeymoon suite his parents once stayed in is now closed, with tales of a particularly nasty witch supposedly trapped there — one who shackles her victims to a heavy chain and drags them on a tour through the underworld.

After Fiona, a hotel worker Ohm befriends, goes missing, a chain of events takes place that inevitably leads to Ohm entering the honeymoon suite, where things may not be all they seem.

Part escape-room thriller, part murder mystery, and part chilling ghost story, Hokum is an almost perfect blend of old-school thrills, with layers of dark humour and plenty of highly effective jump scares.

Damien McCarthy made a name for himself with low-budget horror films Caveat and Oddity (both well worth checking out), but this is his best work so far. Full of eccentric characters, it feels a bit like The League of Gentlemen meets Jonathan Creek with a sprinkling of The Shining.

A redemption story at heart, it goes to some dark places before thrusting us back into the light with interesting bookends that give the viewer pause for thought about what they have just experienced. Was there anything supernatural going on here? Or was it, in fact, just pure hokum?

Mortal Kombat 2 (Cinema)

Here’s the plot of Mortal Kombat 2. Evil Emperor Shao Kahn threatens Earth’s very existence with his tyrannical rule, and the only way to stop him is to compete in Mortal Kombat, a fighting tournament in which the universe’s greatest warriors come together in a fight to the death. Mystical warrior ‘Lord Raiden’ has chosen Johnny Cage (Karl Urban), a washed-up actor and ex-martial arts champion, to join his team of Earth’s defenders. Can Johnny help defeat Shao Kahn and redeem himself in the process?

Actually, the “plot” doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. This is all just a setup for two hours of wacky characters beating seven shades out of each other, and I loved every minute of it. As a fan of the video game franchise, this has everything the first instalment didn’t: great fights, accurate portrayal of characters, gory fatalities, and even the return of the banging ’90s dance track Techno Syndrome, now so synonymously associated with the franchise.

Mortal Kombat 2 ultimately lost out at the box office to another blockbuster sequel with plenty of infighting and a nonsensical story, The Devil Wears Prada 2, so this may be the last instalment we get. And if it is, it’s a great entry to… erm… “Finish Him!” on.

Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere (Netflix)

If you are not familiar with terms such as red-pilling and soy boy, you are likely unaware of the toxic echo chamber that is the “manosphere” — a place where popular influencers and podcasters espouse deeply misogynistic and homophobic opinions to their legions of cult-like followers, often using extremely vitriolic and offensive language.

With his disarmingly quiet charm and affably British politeness, documentarian Louis Theroux (who helped expose Jimmy Savile) manages to gain some insight into this world, meeting with several of the most influential men working within the “industry” right now. Earning vast sums of money through their followers, we witness a world of greed, contempt, wild conspiracy theories, and blatant hypocrisy. One influencer criticises pornography whilst making money from promoting OnlyFans sites. The most worrisome revelation is that their followers seem to be an audience made up predominantly of teenage boys, as no grown man would surely listen to their nonsense.

Although quite interesting for its shock value, this Netflix exposé does not give any answers. It suggests that past traumas in their families and a lack of a strong male role model growing up may have influenced their thinking, but that is pretty much it. We certainly do not get enough of a viewpoint from the various women who are drawn into their orbit. They say they are fine with how they are treated and spoken to, but there appears to be pain behind their eyes. Probably worth watching if you have a teenager in your life — not only to see what they could be influenced by, but also to open up some genuine discussion.

Obsession (Cinema)

Breaking into Hollywood as a film director used to take considerable time, serious graft, usually going to film school, and enduring endless knock-backs. James Cameron worked for years as a model maker on lowbudget exploitation flicks before stepping behind the camera for Piranha II, for example. Now we are in a new age of filmmaking, where YouTube can give you instant access to the big time. Take Curry Barker, someone you likely have never heard of, yet whose name is all over the poster for Obsession.

To date, Curry Barker has made one ultra-low-budget found-footage film that he put on YouTube for free, called Milk & Serial, plus a handful of shorts. Clearly, someone had faith in him and gave him the reins to write and direct this new horror thriller. And it has proven to be a wise decision, as Obsession is an astonishing debut from a young filmmaker that is hopefully a sign of great things to come.

Taking the trope of “be careful what you wish for” to a new level, Obsession sees hopeless romantic Bear (yes, that is his name) pine after his crush Nikki, who only sees him as a friend. After obtaining a “One Wish Willow” from a mysterious gift shop, Bear wishes that Nikki would “love him more than anyone else in the world”.

Now, if you have seen films like Wishmaster and Wish Upon, you will know these things generally do not turn out well. And sure enough, Bear’s one true love turns out to be his worst nightmare.

To say much more would ruin the surprises ahead. Suffice to say, the film is expertly crafted, building tension slowly and tightening the audience so taut that they are ready to snap come the explosive denouement. There is a scene in a car where we, the audience, know exactly what is going to happen, yet you can barely look at the screen because you know the inevitable consequence of their actions is going to be horrific.

Arguably, none of this would work if the two central performances were not so good. Michael Johnston is excellent as the shy and nervous Bear, who gets in way over his head. But it is newcomer Inde Navarrette, who steals the show as Nikki. It is the kind of performance that you cannot take your eyes off, and she absolutely devours the screen. Think Heath Ledger as The Joker, or Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter. Both terrifying and deeply sympathetic, her deranged smile will haunt you for days after watching.

The Art of Jiu Jitsu

What is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and how does it influence my art?

Five“BJJ suits anyone drawn to a genuine challenge, and the community at Reef Jiu-Jitsu, near the Army and Navy roundabout, is so welcoming. ”

years ago I walked into Reef Jiu-Jitsu in Chelmsford thinking it would support my running. It didn’t. It took over. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is now my main physical activity - and something far deeper than that.

I am now, reluctantly, in my late fifties, and staying physically and mentally sharp matters. I used to love ultradistance running, the long hours alone on the road, but it wasn’t always the escape I expected. Given too much space, the mind can drift.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is the opposite. From the first session I realised it demands complete presence. Every roll, every exchange requires total focus. There is simply no room for distraction. It is something I recognise deeply from my artwork, where I explore resilience and state of mind. BJJ taps into that same territory and has become another way of understanding myself — on the mat and off it.

It is often described as the chess of martial arts, built entirely on gaining positional advantage. That idea became the starting point for the artwork accompanying this piece. I chose the knight, and within the form of the horse I have subtly embedded a struggling figure. The background reflects the long path every practitioner walks, echoing the belt progression — white, blue, purple, brown, black, and in rare cases, a grand master is awarded red.

It is a journey that belongs only to you. What I value most about BJJ is that it is not about comparison. I have recently been awarded my purple belt, but that does not place me above someone younger still at blue. We are not walking the same path but travelling in parallel, moving in the same direction, each at our own stage. That distinction matters, and it is rare in sport.

That is why BJJ suits anyone drawn to a genuine challenge, and why the community at Reef Jiu-Jitsu, just off the Army and Navy roundabout, is so welcoming. If you are curious, go and have a look. It may just take over your life - and in the best possible way.

The knight piece is only on Instagram rather than a gallery wall, but it has opened a new direction creatively.

The colour, the texture, the symbolism — it feels like the beginning of something larger. BJJ has given me a fresh source of inspiration, and I am only just getting started.

Which brings me to summer, and to Artists at the Meadows, where there is always new work to discover from eighteen eclectic artists, from beautiful oil landscapes, portraits, pottery or glass, there is always something new to see, even if you just want to wander round and relax for 15 minutes! The Meadows itself has new shops, and the promise of a new bowling alley later in the year, exciting times ahead. Have a great month, Alistair Gillan.

Should I Stay or Should I Go… to the Shops?

Should I stay, or should I go now?

If I go, there will be trouble

And if I stay, it will be double

I’m not entirely sure The Clash had this in mind when they wrote it.

Honestly, I’m starting to think that song wasn’t about a relationship at all—it was about British politics and a trip to Tesco.

Because if ever there was a man living that lyric in real time, it’s Keir Starmer—clinging on to power like someone hanging off the last carriage of a runaway rollercoaster, wondering how on earth it’s come to this. One minute you’re in charge, flying round the world, prancing about on the global stage… throwing money at the World’s problems, the next, you’re hanging by your fingertips while the whole thing rattles violently beneath you.

The rug has well and truly been pulled from under his feet. It’s like watching a full series of Traitors every single day.

And what a month it’s been.

Reform UK have come out of absolutely nowhere and basically kicked the political table over— 1,454 seats and 14 councils. Like them or loathe them, that’s not a win—that’s someone turning up uninvited to the party, grabbing the playlist, rearranging the furniture, and telling everyone where to sit.

And don’t even get me started on the slogan. “Hands that do dishes can feel as soft as your face…” Not anymore, they can’t. Now it’s more like: “Hands that do dishes have also had their hand in the till and robbed you blind.” Because that’s what it feels like. Daylight robbery—but with nicer packaging.

We’re being mugged politely. Packets are shrinking, prices are rising, and everything now comes in what I can only describe as trial sizes. You don’t buy food anymore—you buy the idea of food. A whisper of pasta. A rumour of crisps. A yoghurt that looks like it’s already been sampled by someone before you.

I bought a bag of crisps the other day and thought I’d opened it from the wrong end—there was nothing in it but air. Just a couple of lonely crisps at the bottom, like they’d got lost on the way to the party.

suddenly you’re sweeping up your entire life off the kitchen floor.

That’s where we are.

And the thing is—Gen X is just standing here watching it all unfold like we’ve seen it before. Because we have. We grew up during strikes, recessions, interest rates hitting 15%, political chaos, and the constant threat of the world ending before teatime. This isn’t new to us—it’s just been repackaged with better lighting and a 24-hour news channel.

We grew up before mobile phones and the internet. AI was something we watched on Star Trek.

And yet—we’ve adapted. We’ve carried on.

We’re not panicking.

We’re just… tired.

Tired of paying more for less.

You almost expect them to be knocking on doors next week saying, “Right—we’ll take it from here.”

I remember reading years ago that a future Prime Minister needed to appeal to women. Neil Kinnock famously fell into the sea— literally—and his carefully coiffed comb-over revealed more eroding coastline than expected. Women ran for the hills.

Then came William Hague, hotly tipped to take the Tories back into Number 10… only for the country to go, “No thanks,” and put a cross next to the glossy, swishing hair of Tony Blair. Hair mattered. Image mattered. Gen X was savage –Spam Heads were a thing, no hurty words!

And now we’ve got Starmer, who could be announcing a national holiday and still sound like he’s telling you off in a robotic voice for asking.

“I’ve been working very hard for you lot… and all you do is moan and whine.” Yes, thank you—but could you try sounding like you don’t dislike us?

There is never any good news. We need good news.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to do a weekly shop— without having to rob Peter to pay Paul.

Because can we talk about the real crisis? Supermarkets.

I went into the shop the other day, picked up a bottle of washing-up liquid, and I swear it was only half full. Not even trying to hide it anymore. Just sitting there proudly on the shelf like: “Yes, I’m £2.75, and I’m mostly air. What are you going to do about it?”

Toilet roll? Don’t even go there. Fewer sheets, smaller rolls, higher price. No one could afford to fight for loo rolls like they did in lockdown right now.

And yet somehow—we’re the problem. We are told to recycle everything, separate plastics into seventeen different emotional categories, and take personal responsibility for the planet.

Meanwhile, somewhere in a boardroom, someone has worked out how to sell us half the amount for twice the price. Marketing at its finest.

And Heinz… don’t even get me started. I used to love those little tins of sausage and beans on two slices of toast. As a kid, they were perfect. Now you can barely rustle up enough to cover one slice. Make it make sense.

Back in Westminster, things aren’t looking much better.

Starmer looks like a man who’s just realised the group project has gone horribly wrong. The corporates call it “storming, norming, performing”—but in this case, they’ve all handed in their notice and legged it, leaving him standing there with a flip chart and a nervous smile.

You can almost hear him thinking: “If I just keep saying, ‘Let me be clear…’”

When have you ever been clear?

You U-turn more than a dog chasing its tail—we’re all dizzy. Because the country feels like it’s doing that thing where everything wobbles slightly before it all tips over. You know when you stack too many plates and think, this is fine—and then one goes, and

Tired of opening a packet and feeling personally insulted.

Tired of being told everything’s under control when it very clearly isn’t.

I stood in the queue the other day in Chelmsford, watching someone carefully check their receipt like they were reviewing a mortgage agreement.

“I didn’t buy this,” they said. Of course they didn’t. None of us know what we’re buying anymore. It’s all slightly smaller, slightly different, slightly… off.

Even the basics feel like a gamble. You pick something up and think, this used to last a week.

Now it lasts until Wednesday lunchtime—if you’re careful and nobody else notices it in the fridge.

And yet—we’ll still get on with it. We always do.

We’ll stand in the queue, have a little moan, share a look with the person behind us that says this is ridiculous, and carry on.

Because that’s what Gen X does— we survive things. Quietly. With sarcasm. And occasionally with a slightly aggressive sigh. We are the generation who cannot be broken.

So, should he stay or should he go? Honestly—at this point, I’m not sure it matters.

Because, whether it’s politics, prices, or packets of biscuits with six in them instead of twelve… the feeling is the same.

We’ll survive.

We always do.

Totally Tracie