Over the Edge Magazine | Issue 20, March 2026

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Owner & Editor: Deaks 07803 422808 graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

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“The Edgy Editorial”

Welcome to the March edition of Over the Edge magazine. We always try to be upbeat in the editorial. We have plenty to be upbeat about with the magazine brimming over with wonderful writers and loyal, happy partners advertising month on month, for an appreciative local readership of over 25,000.

PA and Admin:

Paula Specketer paula@overtheedgemag.co.uk

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On the subject of distribution, we just wanted to mention Amelia and Isabella Condron at this point. The sisters put out 2,000 magazines for us through letterboxes in and around Chelmsford every month. That’s a fantastic effort by the girls, and we are very grateful to them for doing this. We have met mum and dad, Alex & Jane too, and they’re such a nice family. Thanks guys. We here at Over the Edge are very grateful to you all.

We started off saying that we are always upbeat here at OTE HQ, and we genuinely are, but after 20 months without encountering any bad debts whatsoever, we appear to have had a couple in the same month. I won’t name them as I’m

still hoping they will do the decent thing and pay, but it’s disappointing when this happens, as we are a small business and we rely upon cash flow to pay our suppliers. I’ve reached out to both parties, giving them options to resolve this. I think one of the companies has gone bust, and I think the other one just wanted a free ad in the magazine and had no intention of paying. We move on. I’m a firm believer that what goes around comes around. Watch this space!

In other news, we welcome Flexible Storage, Paul Mason Associates, Andy Harragan & Sons, Weddings at The Lodge, and R&R Recover Rebuild to the magazine. Palmers Law and Regal Kitchens have both renewed their long-term bookings. Thanks everyone!

We hope that you enjoy your March edition of Over the Edge. It will be summer soon, so hang in there readers.

Deaks - Over the Edge graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

colonia del sacramento

uruguay

I couldn’t have timed my arrival any better. It was a Saturday, and many of Colonia’s streets were closed-off as I made my way from the ferry terminal to the hotel. The reason, I soon learned, was that the town was, that very evening, having a big celebration to mark the 30 anniversary of its being awarded UNESCO World Heritage status, an honour largely attributable to it being one of Uruguay’s oldest cities (founded in 1680) and its well-preserved blend of Portuguese, Spanish, and post-colonial architecture. th

That evening, I headed out into the cobbled streets of the Historic Quarter (Barrio Histórico) and was delighted to find numerous stages dotted around with bands providing something for every taste: local folk music, candombe, Latin, rock, and jazz. Pop-up bars and street food stalls completed the scene, and it seemed that everyone was out to celebrate. I was struck, however, by the restrained and respectable conduct of the locals whose intentions, it seemed, were to participate in a genuine celebration of culture. Many had brought folding chairs and sat listening to folk musicians while they sipped yerba mate in preference to swilling beer.

awareness that the River Plate (Rio de la Plata) gave its name to a famous naval battle ‘down that way’ during WW2. But that was about it.

I was asked this very same question by a local when I arrived for my fleeting stay in Colonia del Sacramento, reached by a 50km ferry crossing over the Río de la Plata from Buenos Aires. Having confessed my ignorance, I soon began learning a great deal about this low-profile country. Much of this education was imparted by Elsa, in her seventies, the daughter of German immigrants. Apparently, they escaped the post-war chaos of Europe via Gdansk in the aftermath of the cessation of hostilities at the conclusion of World War II. Yeah, the obvious questions did cross my mind, but I thought better of it and chose not to pry.

So, Uruguay is, in many ways, a bit of an outlier and punches above its weight in comparison to its South American neighbours. It’s small – with a population just over 3 million - and it’s unusually prosperous (for the region) with one of South America’s most stable democracies. It enjoys a high literacy rate, strong institutions, low corruption relative to neighbours and has historically been referred to as the “Switzerland of South America”.

The following morning dawned with bright sunshine, perfect for ambling around the city’s historical sites. Colonia’s layout and architecture reflect a unique fusion of styles because it changed hands multiple times between the Portuguese and Spanish empires over its early history.

Two days can only be described as a fleeting visit, but I got a genuine sense of a cultural journey and a transportation to centuries past in Colonia’s unique setting.

won’t pass this way again

I cannot tell you how happy I am to see the back of those Winter months... March just always makes me feel better, those signs of Spring and sunnier times are coming!

There’s lots going on this month too in the city. Of course, Mother’s Day is one to celebrate for all of those wonderful women in our lives. I’m thinking afternoon teas, and Tiptree Tearooms and The County Hotel have you covered...beautiful flowers from GSE at the High Street market or M & S, maybe some jewellery from Gaia or the new Goldsmiths on Bond Street? Whatever your budget or plans are, Chelmsford is the place to go!

Chelmsford For You are also running the Spring edition of our fab Cocktail Weekend ahead of its return for a whole week later this year. You can expect discounted cocktails and fun events across the city’s bars and hospitality venues! Check all of these details out on our socials and on our website. For all Chelmsford events, head over to our website, the city’s number one spot to find out what’s on, and where you can list your own events for free!

Andy Harragan & Sons Ltd

People often ask me where Tobias’ favourite restaurant is. I think being a chef with such culinary craft ingrained into your fingertips, people usually expect me to say his favourite is a fancy Michelin-starred restaurant nestled by the ocean in Dorset that serves a 64-course tasting menu for a silly price per head… little secret: we’ve never been to any Michelin-starred, white table-clothed restaurant ever. It’s not our thing really, and if you invited Tobias out for dinner to a place like that, he’d probably politely decline and ask if we could go to the local curry house instead. He’s frowning disapprovingly at me now, following the curry house comment. I’m only joking, he does like foodie restaurants, of course, he does, but ones that are authentic. They can’t be stuffy or make you feel uncomfortable, and if it’s got a specific dress code, he will not be going!

Smoking Goat, on Shoreditch High Street, is Tobias’ go to restaurant. It’s a small spot, dimly lit (my dad would need a head torch and a magnifying glass to see the menu), there’s concrete seating, and it’s noisy. Yes, I know it doesn’t sound like the most inviting setting to dine in, but Tobias loves it because the flavours are mega - it’s slap-youin-the-face kind of food. The chefs cook on open clay pots with flames that lick at the edges of the pass, the front of house staff are friendly and calm in the chaos, and you can feel the heat of the kitchen from wherever you are seated. The wine list is small and straightforward, and the cocktails are muddled with tropical, unknown ingredients that make you cautious when you take your first swig.

It’s raw, honest and unapologetic. They don’t have a dessert menu (great for us because we’re savoury

people), and the chefs even wear shorts to cook in. We’ve been there countless times (the only restaurant I can think of that we’ve been to more than twice.. ever) and every time, it’s exciting. The menu changes regularly, so you never know what you’re going in for, and the emphasis is on Thai flavour but with a twist, which is what leaves Tobias quietly sitting and watching every time we go.

I think what this restaurant says about Tobias’ way of cooking and eating is that it needs to be honest. Good because it’s good and not hiding behind gimmicks or novelty. We went to a restaurant once that had a themed menu, and although the food was good, it was like dining at the circus. All showy, the waitresses were full of scripted fanfare, and it just really left us feeling full of faff and confused.

Smoking Goat isn’t my absolute

favourite restaurant, but I enjoy going because it’s exciting, tasty (if a bit spicy for me), and I love watching the inspiration flicker through Tobias as he reads the menu again and again. Going to Smoking Goat is never what a typical date night is - we don’t have much conversation between us because he’s transfixed on watching every detail. The waiter regularly comes over to check if we’re okay and not trying to flag them down.

I guess your favourite restaurant says a lot about you as a person and what you want from a night out of good food. The challenge, if that is true, is for the restaurant to figure out a way to provide an experience that excites their surrounding demographic enough to encourage them back time and time again. Maybe that’s why we don’t have concrete seats at Fête - I’m not sure eating a Duck Hash in the complete dark on a cold hard seat would set Chelmsford alight… but as I’ve said before, it’s about suiting your restaurant to your guests as much as it is living out your culinary dreams that are perfect to you but maybe not 85% of the guests you are encouraging in for weekly cake and flat whites!

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Design Dude Inspiration for the Population

On my visits to Egypt some years ago, the vastness of the desert and the quiet grandeur of the monuments left an impression that has lingered ever since. Cairo, with its restless streets and chaotic energy, stands in stark contrast to the golden sweep of the Giza plateau, where the pyramids rise like frozen flames under the sun. Luxor, farther south, offers a different kind of stillness, the Nile threading a living artery through a landscape of temples and tombs. Those journeys, though distant now, returned to my mind with surprising clarity when I walked through the Forbidden City in Beijing. The disciplined alignment of axes, the choreography of sightlines, the deliberate orchestration of movement, all of it resonated with the awe I had felt before the pyramids, as if the deserts of Egypt and the

The pyramids are often seen first as tombs, but they are far more than containers for the dead. They are gestures of ambition, of humanity attempting to echo the heavens on earth. The step pyramid of Djoser at Saqqara marks the first known attempt to monumentalise the pharaoh’s journey into eternity. Imhotep’s vision was not simply to stack stone, but to create a composition that bridged the horizontal, rectangular Mastaba and the vertical ascent that would define the pyramid form. The layered steps suggest movement and progress, ascension and transcendence. Standing before it, one feels the deliberate tension between human scale and cosmic ambition, the elegance of

By the time the Great Pyramid at Giza was built, the form had achieved perfection. Its 4 triangular faces rise from a square base, each aligned with incredible precision to the cardinal points. The geometry implies a profound understanding of astronomy, measurement, and proportion. The pyramid’s orientation mirrors the descending rays of the sun, guiding the pharaoh’s soul toward the celestial realm. Its presence is overwhelming, yet it speaks in a language of clarity and restraint. Every block, every angle, every corridor is testimony to an ambition that stretches across generations. Echoes of the Forbidden City | I remember standing on the plateau, the desert wind brushing against my skin, and feeling the same sense of orchestrated space I would later encounter in Beijing. The main axis of the Forbidden City draws the eye through successive gates and courtyards, creating a procession that elevates movement into ritual. In Egypt, the alignment of the pyramids and temples imposes order upon a vast, seemingly chaotic landscape. The Nile itself serves as an axis, connecting human endeavour to the rhythms of nature. In both cases, architecture is a medium for reflection, a way of translating human aspiration into spatial experience, a bridge between the earthly and the divine.

Construction and Human Endeavour | Construction methods remain as much a mystery as a marvel. How the Egyptians lifted stones weighing multiple tons, positioned them with such precision, remains a subject of debate. Ramps, levers, rolling logs, and human ingenuity combined to produce results that are still astonishing today. Yet the engineering is in separable from the spiritual purpose. The pyramids were intended to endure, to speak across centuries, to align human existence with cosmic order. Their longevity and their clarity of form convey a philosophy that surpasses mere functionality.

In Luxor, the grandeur of the temples along the Nile felt like a continuation of the same principle. Columns, obelisks, and sanctuaries aligned with celestial events guide movement and frame the experience of space. The architecture orchestrates the visitor’s journey, creating moments of revelation and reflection. There is a rhythm to it, a choreography not of decoration alone but of intention. Walking through these sites, one senses that architecture is not just built form, but a language of aspiration and belief, a medium through which the human spirit converses with the eternal.

Simplicity, Proportion, and Light | The pyramids embody a remarkable economy of form. The Great Pyramid, geometric and restrained, achieves grandeur through clarity. Unlike structures that rely on embellishment, it is monumental yet serene, unyielding yet harmonious. The now missing outer casing would have reflected sunlight, animating the stone and linking architecture to natural forces. This sensitivity to context, the way built form engages with light, shadow, and environment, is a principle echoed across centuries and continents, from Renaissance Italy to the avenues of Beijing . Equally compelling is the human dimension. These monuments were built by thousands of skilled workers, engineers, and artisans, not by enslaved masses, as is often imagined. Their labour was both practical and devotional, an act of collective purpose. Every stone placed was part of a larger vision, a testament to the pharaoh and the society that upheld him. In this, one can see parallels with other great civic and religious projects, whether cathedrals in Italy, temples in Rome, or the carefully ordered palaces of China. Architecture shapes not just space but human consciousness, creating a shared experience that transcends the individual.

Sacred Interiors and Celestial Alignment | The interiors of the pyramids are no less deliberate. Passageways, chambers, and shafts align with the stars and the sun, guiding ritual movement and perhaps the pharaoh’s spiritual journey. Over 20 years ago, I crawled through a tiny, claustrophobic shaft into the King’s Chamber (image below) an experience facilitated by a man at the site whose intentions were probably less than official. It felt exhilarating and absurd, a human intrusion into a space designed for eternity, yet it brought the architecture to life. The King’s Chamber, the Queen’s Chamber, the enigmatic air shafts, the placement of sarcophagi reflect a philosophy in which space is sacred, a bridge between the mortal and the eternal. Architecture becomes an instrument of transcendence, linking human aspiration with cosmic harmony.

Thinking back, I am struck by architecture’s power to transmit emotion across time. The pyramids, the temples of Luxor, and the avenues of Cairo convey awe, humility, and aspiration. Likewise, the axes and courtyards of the Forbidden City create a sense of order, rhythm, and alignment with something greater than oneself. In both places, architecture emerges as a means of shaping experience, harmonising the ephemeral with the eternal.

Lessons | There is a simplicity in the pyramids that belies their complexity. Every block, axis, and visual line contributes to a narrative about human existence, mortality, and the cosmos. They suggest that life, though fleeting, can be aligned with enduring principles, that the ephemeral can converse with the eternal through geometry, proportion, and intention. This lesson resonates across cultures and epochs: architecture, when conceived with vision and care, becomes philosophy rendered in stone. Even decades after my visits, the pyramids remain a source of reflection. They remind me that design is not merely about construction, but about creating relationships, between people, space, and time, between the earthly and the celestial. Monuments to ambition, devotion, and harmony, they endure across millennia. Standing before them, feeling the weight of history and the precision of proportion, I am reminded that the greatest architecture elevates the human spirit, connecting it to something larger, ordered, and profoundly beautiful.

In Egypt, under the sweep of the sun and the expanse of the desert sky, the pyramids continue to speak. Silent yet eloquent, ancient yet immediate, they remind us that architecture can be both monument and meditation, structure and symbol. Reflecting on the axes of the Forbidden City, I see the same principle: the translation of vision into form, the choreography of movement, the alignment of human experience with the eternal. In both worlds, architecture becomes a dialogue across time, a testament to the enduring power of proportion, intention, and reverence.

Thank you and see you next month.

| Design Dude

| Inspiration for the Population

| Email: DesignDude.20@gmail.com

Hello folks

Callum Stone

25th September 200926th January 2026

Callum Stone, a Chelmsford lad who attended St. John Payne School, has sadly passed away at the young age of just sixteen years. We first learned of Callum’s illness in May 2025, and we reached out to his mum, Sarah-Jane, who was raising funds to secure cancer treatment for Callum in Germany; treatment that wasn’t available in the UK. We featured Callum’s story in the June 2025 magazine with a link to his Go Fund Me page.

Callum was diagnosed with cancer in February 2025, and just one year later, he is gone. I encourage you to read his story on Instagram @sjandferris where you will see what his wonderful family, friends and even strangers have done to give Callum the best possible chance. I am in awe of them all.

I sadly learned of Callum’s passing when I read Sarah-Jane’s announcement on Instagram, part of which I have included below;

“A message no parent wants to write. Callum passed away peacefully at home on Monday afternoon, all of us holding his hands and by his side. Callum was so brave and courageous throughout this past year, but even more so in his final weeks. We have witnessed a strength

so immeasurable that it will leave an imprint on us all for eternity. We will never understand how something so cruel could happen to someone so beautiful, kind, loyal, caring, and so much more. Callum loved the simple things in life, spending precious time with his family and friends. He was surrounded with all that love from everyone until his last breath and beyond.”

Absolutely heartbreaking. I won’t lie, I cried when I read this. I shall cry again before I finish this article. As a father of 3 children and 3 grandchildren, I cannot imagine what this family has been through.

Over the Edge has supported Little Havens Children’s Hospice in the past, and Sarah-Jane says that they’ve supported the family at home during Callum’s final weeks, and they continue to support them now. I have placed a link below to a tribute page where you are able to leave a message and make a donation in Callum’s name if you wish. I have also included Little Havens on our charity page in Callum’s honour.

http://callum-stone.muchloved.com

This got me thinking about how amazing charities are, and what wonderful work they do. When I took over The Edge magazine, now Over the Edge, I wanted to have a page dedicated to promoting local charities, and every month we have featured 3 or 4 amazing charities on this page free of charge. The page is fronted by Samantha, who, apart from being a nurse, is

married to my son, and she regularly receives requests to feature on our page from charities doing amazing work in the community.

It is refreshing to hear first-hand about the work that Little Havens has done for Callum’s family.

Last month, I was introduced by my neighbour to Happy Hill Essex CIO https://happyhillessex. com , who provide a wide range of hub-based activities for children and young people with special educational needs and disabilities.

This month, The Ark Centre https://www. thearkcentre.org/ approached me. They offer therapy programmes that include Behavioural Therapy, Speech and Language Therapy and Occupational Therapy. Click on The Ark’s website, their story is inspiring. The founders have a son by the name of Noah, who requires the therapy they offer, hence the name The Ark.

Every month, I get to know these charities and the people behind them and the work they do. They are truly inspiring. Don’t flick past the charity page in the magazine; stop and read about the work that they do.

That’s all from me this month. Take care of one another and RIP Callum you brave young man.

TTFN

Deaks

Over the Edge

graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

A little time on tax planning today, so more of your legacy reaches the people you love tomorrow.

The levels and bases of taxation and reliefs from taxation can change at any time and are dependent on individual circumstances.

FESTIVAL SEASON:

The Group Chat is Back, Baby

Right galz, it’s happening. The group chat has defrosted, the “let’s discuss outfits” has already begun, and the internal panic about the portaloos and whether dry shampoo and baby wipes count as a shower (obviously it does, for 4 days at least!) is in full swing.

March is prime booking season. This is your sign to get your tickets locked in, your annual leave approved, and unleash your bubbly summer personality from the freezer of British wintertime. Let’s get the glitter pots ordered and make every decision with an overly confident “YOLO”.

So, let’s face it - nothing makes you feel more like an organised, successful, aspiring adult like booking four days off work to live in a field, drink warm cider, and sleep one field away from a speaker blasting drum and bass at 4am. And we cannot wait for it!

ON THE RADAR

Here’s a quick little Essex-adjacent line-up to get you in the mood (and get that bank transfer ready for the admin of the ticket group chat):

• Glastonbury (Somerset)

The big one. The crème-de-la-crème. The one where you’re praying Lewis Capaldi decides to ‘just pop-in’ again and destabilise the entire nation.

• Wireless Festival (London)

If your vibe is glam, bouncy, and “I’ve packed three outfits per day and will wear my top two choices on repeat.”

• Latitude Festival (Suffolk) Think live music, lakes, comedy tents and pretending you’re an outdoorsy, spiritual girl whilst sipping a Prosecco from the wine bar.

• Creamfields South (Chelmsford)

If you like your music loud, your sunglasses oversized, and your eyelashes hanging on for dear life by day 2.

• Reading Festival (Reading) The classic. You will come back with one shoe

missing and a hangover to see you all the way through to 2027.

• Sundown Festival (Norwich)

Pop classics, cute outfits, and a manageable distance from the main stage back to your tent when your soul leaves your body halfway through the headliner.

NOW IS THE TIME TO…

1. Book your tickets

Do not be the friend who says, “I’ll just grab one closer to the time”, and then ends up buying resale tickets for the price of a Fiat Punto. Commit. Press buy. Feel the adrenaline shoot through your soul.

2. Book your annual leave

Get it in early. Beat Karen from accounts. Be the organised queen I know you can be. Nothing says, “I’m a thriving, responsible grown-up” like booking time off to spend 3 nights in a field with your best friends, whilst your work colleagues believe you’re heading on a self-development weekend.

3. Assemble your campfire personality

And by that, I mean march confidently into Go Outdoors and head straight to the fishing section like you know where you’re heading. Purchase some unnecessary ‘necessities’ to make you feel like you’ve got this camping-girl era down to a tee, and suddenly you’re Bear Grylls, but make it cute with smoky eyelids and a ruffle skirt.

TOP TIPS FROM THE (GLAM) FIELD

• Pack outfits by day. Label them. future you will thank past you when she is tired and slightly hungover trying to dress herself in a 3-foot-tall canvas tent. And don’t forget the wellies.

• Baby wipes. They are worth more than gold by day three. Guard them with your life.

• Portable charger. Because documenting is part of the experience (and helps us piece together the weekend at the next girls’ night).

• Dry shampoo & face mist. The holy duo of “I haven’t slept for 72 hours, but at least I still look dewy.”

• Bumbag – because we all deserve to enjoy some hands-free fun.

FINAL THOUGHTS (AKA: JUST BOOK IT)

Festival season is fresh air, loud music, new friends, old friends, dancing like nobody’s watching (and even if they are, I’m sure they’ve been on the cider since 10.45am too!) and that unbeatable feeling of being completely in that moment.

So, buy the tickets. Book the annual leave (sorry Karen from Accounts). Spend £380 of your hardearned money to live in a field for the weekend with one toilet between 20,000 of you. Gather the accessories. Become the version of you who says things like “let’s do it, we only live once” and means it.

Because come summer, you’ll either be in a field with your best people, a drink in hand and glitter on your cheek……or you’ll be the one at home watching it on someone else’s Instagram story (hello #overtheedgemag on insta).

And we all know which one you are, babe. Jasmin Albon Over the Edge

Start your day with a hearty breakfast, enjoy a freshly made lunch, or treat yourself to a traditional afternoon tea –all prepared with fresh, quality ingredients.

Relax upstairs in our cosy tea room for lunch or afternoon tea, right in the heart of town.

Traditional tastes, Tiptree quality.

The Literary Corner

by Kat de Naoum

Boy oh boy, am I excited to get you onto something. I’ll be the first to admit that I have, at times, been a bit of a literary snob... only for life to humble me—quick time. What, me? I’ll never read an e-book. I like the feel and smell of a proper book, thank you very much. Enter: having a child and never having a hand free, then being introduced to the wonderful world of Kindle. I’ve now been a fully-fledged e-reader convert for the better part of a decade (albeit with a real book collection ranging near a thousand. Give or take). Oh, I’ll never prefer the film version of anything. In fact, I won’t even watch a film adaptation of a beloved book for fear it will ruin the magic. Fast forward to me watching every rendition of my favourite novels and enthusiastically recommending said films/shows to friends, family, readers—anyone who will listen. And abridged versions? Absolutely not. What, and miss every tiny nuance the author was trying to portray? You must be off your rocker. Which brings me to the latest course in my ongoing hat-eating banquet: Full-cast dramatisations of classic, best-selling literary canon novels and stories. Wow, am I chomping down on that hat. I am woman obsessed. In the last month alone, I have listened to no fewer

Book of the Month — March 2026

James (2025) Percival Everett

This award-winning book is so ingenuitive it knocked me sideways. It’s a retelling of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain that I stupidly never realised I needed in my life—and now I will never read, or even think about, that classic book in quite the

same way again. It’s an adult version of the story (although, truth be told, Twain himself said he never intended his novel to be YA in the first place), told through the eyes of Jim, the enslaved man who runs away at the same time as Huck, their paths crossing at the river. It’s brilliantly written, and entertaining, yet difficult to read. It makes you squirm in your seat, but that squirming is necessary, and these conversations matter (especially now in a time when books are still being banned). If you ever wanted your children to know these classic stories today, you’d likely have to seek out abridged, child-friendly versions. But even then, how do you even begin to explain the atrocities of slavery to them? It really makes you think.

While this may be just a story, history tells us that the things depicted were not only real, but often worse than described... or that we can even imagine. Disclaimer: There is uncomfortable language in it, but it feels more digestible in Everett’s words than it does in Twain’s. Oh, did I mention it won the 2025 Pulitzer? Much deserved. A superb read.

Here’s your friendly reminder to download the BorrowBox and Essex Library Services apps on your phone or tablet (Android and iPhone) for eBooks and audiobooks. It’s free and instant. What’s not to love?

than 20 dramatisations. Having read many of the original texts, I can tell you these adaptations are remarkably faithful (most times word-for-word accurate), hugely entertaining, and a brilliant way to experience these works without dedicating weeks of your life to them. Sure, I might have to restrain myself from physically reacting when someone says, “I just can’t sit and read a book,” but I do understand. We’re all different. However, these are stories you absolutely need in your life... and now you have an accessible way to know them. Take Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina The book is so hefty it could kill a man if dropped from a short height, and the unabridged audiobook is a day and a half long. Literally. The dramatisation? Just three and a half hours. What’s not to love? We’re talking your Jane Austens, Charles Dickenses, Dostoyevskys, all of the Brontës… the literary greats, distilled but not diluted, and free on BorrowBox and BBC Sounds. I only wish I could go back and tell younger Kat to get off her high horse and give abridged dramatisations a chance (and perhaps lay off the sweets), but it’d be a wasted trip in the time machine (yes, I also listened to that H.G. Wells classic). Anyway, let’s get cracking with this month’s must-reads. TTYL!

Oldie but Goodie

The Underground Railroad (2016) Colson Whitehead

I know I’m not obliged to match books to a theme each month (in fact, no one is obliging me to do anything here, so I’m quite impressed with my own restraint at not going completely haywire in these pages), but it felt wildly inappropriate to put a lighthearted

champagne-problem-riddled rom-com next to James this time around. So we’re staying with the theme (and you can hardly blame me for recommending two smashing Pulitzer Prize–winning novels in one go).

It’s been ten whole years since The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead came out, and I still think about it. The story follows Cora, a young enslaved woman on a Georgia plantation, who escapes via a literalised version of the Underground Railroad (imagined here as an actual network of tracks and trains running beneath the soil). Not to give too much away, but a lot of the story revolves around Cora’s mother—the only other enslaved person who managed to get away from that plantation—and Cora’s thoughts about her, which essentially fuel her own escape journey. There are twists and turns, moments of hope, parts that knock the wind out of you, but never a dull moment. Whitehead is quite the storyteller, too. I’m also always in awe of the research that goes into these historybased works. It’s not light reading, but a must for any TBR pile.

About Kat

Kat de Naoum (BA (Hons) Eng Lit & Phil, MA Creative Writing) is a writer/author, editor, mother, and avid reader. Since starting out as a staff writer at a local London paper in 1999, Kat has written for many print and online outlets. When she’s not parenting she’s immersed in a book (in any format).

The first book, The Ward Brothers - Meet the travellers was a NUMBER ONE best seller and hot new release on Amazon.

The order of the first series of books is as follows:

Book One –

The Ward Brothers, Meet the Travellers Book Two –The Ward Brothers, Vengeance Book Three –The Ward Brothers, Betrayal Book Four –The Ward Brothers, The Reckoning Book Five –Date to be announced.

All available on amazon. Books £8.99 each and kindle £2.99 each

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Carol Hellier was born in Essex in the mid-1960s. In her mid-twenties, she uncovered a life-changing family secret: the parents who had raised her were in fact her grandparents, and the sister she had grown up with was her mother. With roots stretching from Stepney in East London to County Cork in Ireland, family and heritage have always played a powerful role in her life.

After marrying into a Romany Gypsy family and beginning her married life in a caravan, Carol gained first-hand insight into the traveller way of life. This unique experience brings authenticity and depth to her writing, particularly in her gritty gangland fiction.

Before becoming a full-time author, Carol worked in a variety of roles, including hairdresser, kitchen and bathroom designer, medical secretary and barmaid. Today, she writes full time following the success of her books.

She is the author of eight novels, including the bestselling Ward Brothers series, which reached number one on Amazon. Her books are perfect for readers who enjoy hard-hitting gangland fiction woven with compelling gypsy and traveller storylines.

EPSTEIN

The longer it goes on, the more and more names in the limelight seem to be linked with Epstein, along with his absolutely horrendous crimes. Some names on the most recent list released, it must be said, just happened

above the law and truly believe it’s ok to ruin innocent lives to satisfy their own repulsive needs. And to make matters worse, his links have, and still are, landing on our very own doorstep. Most recently, one of the current PM’s old right-hand men, who, thanks to the PM, landed a rather important role with the president of the United States. Of course, said PM claims he knew nothing of his links.

Why do we put up with this, taking orders from people who really are the scum of the earth?

Especially in the case of the now ex-Prince, where we have literally been paying for his sickening lifestyle through taxpayers’ money. Roughly £9 million was loaned to him by the Queen before she passed away, with further money loaned by other family members, including the current king, adding up to the nifty sum of £12 million in total to pay for the silence of one of his victims who had the

or charities supporting victims of trafficking, rape and abuse, instead of eventually topping back up the coffers of the royals, who clearly knew what the ex-Prince was up to. But instead of throwing him to the wolves, they protected him and paid for his get-out-of-jail-free card. Guilty by association, I think they call that.

Not only have these worst of the worst people on earth destroyed so many young lives, but they have also left their country vulnerable, thanks to being compromised enough to have their hand forced to share information of national security.

The question is, where do we go from here, and who can we trust?

On a lighter note

How refreshing it has been again with the FA Cup not having VAR in the 4th round. However, what it has shown is how bad some of the Premier League referees are now. With their over-reliance on having someone in their ears making decisions for them most weekends, it has weakened their ability to referee effectively. Nowhere was this more apparent than in the Villa v Newcastle game, where so many incorrect or missed decisions were made which would have been corrected for them had VAR been in use. Still, at least the games weren’t held up after a goal was scored, and fans could enjoy the moment, and we had some decent talking points for a change… rather than discussing

Keeping the county warm Keeping the county warm

Contact BFS for prompt delivery of your domestic heating oil direct from our local Danbury Fuel Services depot You’ll find no better service, no better value.

For a quote or to order online go to: www.bfsfuelservices.uk or ring 01245 425251.

Essex Essex Food Food Review Review Essex Food Review

This Month’s Dining Diaries

This month has been a big one for birthdays in my family so it has been a good month for eating out and ordering in. We have been venturing outside of the city centre on occasions to see what Essex has to offer whilst keeping our takeaways local. From celebration dinners to cosy nights in, we’ve covered it. As usual, here is our honest reviews of where we ate:

Dub Kitchen, Chelmsford:

Dub Kitchen has been my go-to takeaway three times this month - which definitely says something. I genuinely think Chelmsford was missing a no-fuss, hearty food spot like this before they arrived. They’re based on New London Road and you can dine in (the décor is really cool), but I much prefer picking it up and enjoying it at home in front of a film. Having worked my way through a fair bit of the menu now, the stand-out dishes for me are the curried mutton, coconut chicken and the wraps. The wraps in particular are perfect if you’re rushing between meetings at lunchproper grab-and-go, but still packed with flavour and generous fillings. The jerk chicken burrito is beautifully smoked, with just the right amount of spice, balanced perfectly by the cooling sour cream. So good. We’ve also tried the nachos and coleslaw - both solid choices - and everything feels great value for money.

Talbooth, Dedham

Two besties dishing up the details on Essex’s best restaurants cafes, pubs and pop-ups.

Best friends Hannah and Issy, both born and raised in Chelmsford decided to turn their love for food and eating out into an Instagram page dedicated to reviewing and recommending eateries across Essex, alongside helping local food businesses and events with their marketing and social media. Get in touch:

Talbooth, Dedham:

We took my mum to The Talbooth for her 60th birthday after not visiting for many years, and wow - it reminded us exactly why it’s such a memorable special-occasion spot. With its low ceilings, dimly lit tables, beautiful décor and that old-school, attentive service, it feels timeless and intimate. It was busy being so close to Valentine’s Day, but they were still running their standard menu and nothing felt rushed. I will say it’s expensive, with starters around £20 and mains closer to £50, but for a milestone birthday somewhere special, it felt worth it. We started with the duck terrine, which came with parfait on thinly sliced toasted brioche and was absolutely beautiful; the salmon gravadlax was generously portioned and deliciously fresh, and the French onion soup was superb. For mains we chose the pork and the stone bass, both fantastic, but the real star of the show was dessert - a vanilla and pecan mille-feuille with perfectly flaky pastry that was just exceptional. Small touches, like the longest, thinnest-stemmed wine glass I’ve ever been served in, make all the difference for meit instantly elevates the experience and signals real attention to detail. We all left feeling seriously impressed, and it has firmly secured its place in my top five fine dining restaurants in Essex.

Luigi’s Al Fresco, Danbury

A firm favourite of ours and definitely one of the best Italians around. You walk into a beautifully friendly, rustic setting with candles and plaid tablecloths -relaxed and cosy, but still with that special-occasion feel. I always order the penne alla vodka; it’s simple, but there’s something about it that’s just so delicious, and I’m convinced the stracciatella on top makes it. We can never resist the truffle fries to share either. Every dish we’ve tried has been excellent, and the whole place has such a welcoming, easy atmosphere. It’s straightforward to book online, and if you can’t get a table, they also have their sister restaurant in Maldon, Luigi’s Al Fresco.

@essexfoodreview

essexfoodreview@gmail.com

Your toolkit for a great night out

Friday night. The memory of your workday is fading, your friends are buzzing, and the food and drinks are in full flow. You feel relaxed, at ease.

This is a safe city. Chelmsford has had a Purple Flag award for 13 years running, marking it as a low-risk, lively place in the evenings.

Still, things can always go wrong on a night out. If you lost your friends, felt ill, or wanted someone to leave you alone, where would you turn? Here’s your handy guide to the nighttime services keeping you safe.

Extra help on Saturday nights

On the busiest night of the week, services are here to support people enjoying themselves.

Night Marshals patrol every Saturday evening. They’re CSAS and SIA accredited, and there to help anyone who might need assistance. If you feel vulnerable, need help contacting friends or transport, or even just need directions, seek out a marshal in purple hi-vis. They’re in touch with the city council’s CCTV control room and local venues, so they can respond quickly if needed.

Women’s safety

Many businesses in Chelmsford have signed up to the city’s Women’s Safety Charter. If you see the Safe Space signs, you’re in a venue with dedicated trained staff who can support you if needed.

There’s also the nation-wide Ask for Angela scheme that can help if you’re at a bar, pub or club with someone who’s making you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Just ask for “Angela” at the bar and staff will discreetly help you by calling a taxi or escorting you to a safe place. Anyone can use the scheme, and you’ll know a venue is taking part if you spot an Ask for Angela poster in the loos.

The SOS bus, usually on the High Street 10pm to 4am on Saturdays, offers a safe place to anyone who needs a moment to recover or regroup. Volunteers can provide basic first aid, support you if you’ve had too much to drink, help you stay safe, and offer somewhere warm to wait for a lift or friends.

is causing problems in one venue, the others will soon know about it, and so will the CCTV team.

A mix of things to do

Evenings in Chelmsford aren’t just about drinking. There are theatres and cinemas, live performances, restaurants, cafés, bowling alleys and an ice rink, and family-friendly fun as well as pubs and bars. Early evenings in particular tend to feel lively and relaxed, with people of all ages in the centre.

When assessors visited to check the city was still up to Purple Flag standard, they said the city was “really clean and well looked after” and that Chelmsford “stands out” for having a busy, buzzing night-time economy with an “exemplar” CCTV service.

Planning ahead

Behind the scenes

Chelmsford City Council’s state-of-the-art CCTV network is monitored round the clock by trained staff with links directly to the police, the council’s community safety team, venues and the Night Marshals. If they spot someone in trouble, or a crime being committed, they direct help to the right place quickly.

Most people will never notice this – it’s an invisible safety net that saves lives and keeps the city safe 24/7.

Local venues also work together through schemes like Pubwatch to share information and prevent problems escalating. If someone

A good night can be spoiled by logistics, so it’s a good idea to plan a smooth journey home. Taxis can be busy at peak times, so booking ahead is sensible when you can, and remember - you can find a Night Marshal or the SOS bus if you’re stuck.

Once you’re out, look after each other. Try to leave each venue with all the people you came with, agree a safe place to meet if you get separated, and make sure you have enough phone battery to get everyone home.

Take a photo now

Having a Purple Flag means the whole city, from the bartenders and nightclub managers to the volunteers, police and council, are looking out for you. Knowing where help is, just in case, is important. Take a photo of this article on your phone and refer to it if you ever need it.

Find out more: https://www. chelmsford.gov.uk/communities/ community-safety/safety-on-nightsout/

THE

EDGE OVERthe

Phil

Big Interview

Chats with Dan Feist – Chief Executive, Essex Cricket

Dan Feist oversees the day-to-day operations of Essex County Cricket Club. He joined the Club in 2012 as Head of Community and Cricket Operations, became Deputy Chief Executive in 2024 and stepped into the Chief Executive role in February 2025.

Phil: Thank you for taking the time to chat with Over the Edge at the major milestone of the Club’s 150th anniversary. What key messages would you like to share with our readers?

Dan: First and foremost, that this is a celebration for the whole community. We want to break down any perception that the County Ground is closed off. It’s actually a huge asset to the city and to the people who live here.

Of course, cricket is our core business, but it isn’t our only business. The ground is a venue with enormous potential beyond matchdays. The local community has shaped our history for 150 years, and we want people to feel welcome — whether that’s for a match, a concert, or simply to enjoy the space. It should feel open, accessible and part of everyday Chelmsford life.

Phil: Tell us about your background and your journey to becoming CEO.

Dan: I’ve been at Essex for 13 years. Before that, I worked in sports development with local authorities, schools and universities. I stopped playing relatively early and moved into coaching, working within cricket at Hampshire and Surrey. When I joined Essex, I led Community and Cricket Operations. From there, we’ve helped build the Club through some exciting years — championshipwinning men’s teams, securing Tier 1 status for our women’s side, hosting international fixtures and two ICC World Cup qualifying competitions. It’s been a period of real growth and progress, and I’m proud to have been part of that journey.

Phil: Which events this year — especially those marking the 150th anniversary — should readers be most excited about?

Dan: The England v India Women’s T20 on 28 May is a huge occasion. India’s women’s side has an extraordinary following worldwide, and it’s fantastic for Chelmsford to host such a fixture.

We’re also looking forward to our Legends match on 24 July, bringing former players back into the middle — that will be special for supporters.

Alongside that, we have the full men’s programme across three formats and the women’s fixtures across two. Whatever your preference — fourday cricket, 50-over, T20 — there’s something for everyone.

And then on 22 August we’re hosting an 80s-themed music night, with Stars of the West End performing the music of Queen. It’s another example of the ground being more than just cricket.

Phil: Many readers are interested in the longterm plans for the County Ground. What can you tell us?

Dan: We have a masterplan that’s beginning to take shape. At its heart will be a two-way facing pavilion. One side will look onto the cricket, celebrating our history and heritage; the other will face Central Park.

Behind it will be a village plaza opening directly into the park via a new bridge. The aim is to create a welcoming, modern hub — open and accessible on matchdays and non-matchdays alike.

One thing I always stress is that this isn’t a distant stadium experience; it’s an arena. You’re incredibly close to the action. That proximity builds

connection — especially here, where so many players are local and supporters have watched them develop from junior cricket through to the professional game. Chelmsford is a growing city at the heart of the county. We want the ground to be one of its focal points.

Phil: Who were your cricketing heroes growing up?

Dan: Growing up in the 80s, Graham Gooch was impossible to ignore. I also admired Richard Hadlee, Alec Stewart and Graham Thorpe — players who approached the game with skill and integrity.

But if I’m honest, the person who motivates me most isn’t a famous name. I coached a young lad with Down syndrome who started playing at nine. He simply asked, “Can I play cricket?” From that one conversation, we now have 25 players at my local club playing disability cricket.

He’s now in his thirties and still turns up every week. His enthusiasm and love for the game remind me of why I got involved in the first place. That’s what cricket is really about.

Phil: What are the biggest challenges facing the counties at present?

Dan: Many of the challenges aren’t unique to cricket. Economic instability affects everyone. As part of the sports and entertainment sector, we’re competing for people’s time and discretionary spending.

There’s also calendar congestion — so many events competing locally and nationally. We have to ensure we remain relevant and provide the best possible experience.

Sustainability is key. Costs are rising, and we have to operate responsibly.

The positive is that cricket remains accessible compared with many professional sports. We also have four formats, which gives flexibility. Some supporters may prefer four-day cricket, others T20’s energy and music. Others may stream matches or come for women’s fixtures. That variety is a strength.

Phil: What makes Essex special — to you and to the wider community?

Dan: Essex has a distinct identity. Nationally, not everyone feels attached to a county, but here, people understand what Essex represents. There’s positivity, entrepreneurship and a resilience — a sense of finding a way when you’re up against it. That tribalism is powerful.

Historically, we’ve often been seen as being on the edge of London, yet we’ve achieved huge success,

produced England captains and found ways to compete with bigger counties. Supporters connect with that. They come not just to watch cricket, but to back a team that reflects their values and culture.

Phil: What would you say to readers who have never attended a match?

Dan: Come and see for yourself. The ground is open to the community for much more than matchdays, but when cricket is on, just drop in.

If you prefer, come after tea when entry is free. Have a cup of tea or a drink in the evening sunshine. We often say we’re the best beer garden in town — and there’s some truth in that.

It’s relaxed, welcoming and very close to the action.

Phil: The Club aspires to be the nation’s number one cricket region. What does that look like in practice?

Dan: We have three pillars: on-field success, offfield growth and home-grown inspiration.

Historically, when Essex has succeeded, it’s been driven by local talent inspiring success on the field, which in turn drives growth off it. That cycle is crucial.

Success isn’t measured only in trophies. It’s also about participation numbers, thriving recreational clubs and strong pathways. In recent years, clubs from this region have consistently reached national semi-finals and finals. That depth of strength matters.

Ultimately, success means sustainable growth, strong community engagement and home-grown players coming through to represent Essex at the highest level.

Phil: Securing Tier 1 status for Essex Women is a major step. How will the team continue to develop?

Dan: We’ve built a strong pathway and academy structure. There’s real cultural momentum around women’s sport now, and that’s exciting.

We recently announced changes to the coaching set-up, with Cath Dalton and Nick Browne taking senior roles. Cath played for Essex and Ireland and has coached internationally; Nick came through as an apprentice and professional before moving into coaching. Their journeys reflect what we stand for.

The key is encouraging supporters not just to attend major internationals, but to follow Essex Women regularly — to appreciate the skill, athleticism and competitiveness on display. Again, the closeness to the action makes a difference.

Phil: Finally, what are your hopes for on-field performance in 2026?

Dan: With the men’s squad, we expect to be competitive across all three competitions. Just as importantly, we want to see young, home-grown players learning from experienced professionals and pushing towards international recognition.

For the women’s team, it’s similar: a new leadership programme, strong training culture and steady development, leading to genuine competitiveness.

In sport, there are only so many trophies available, so success also means seeing players fulfil their potential. If we’re developing talent, competing hard and representing Essex in the right way, that’s something to be proud of.

Phil: Thank you, Dan. I really enjoyed our conversation and appreciate you sharing your insights with our readers.

Join Care UK’s nationwide ‘Big Dementia Conversation’

Did you know that nearly four in 10 people (39%) avoid visiting relatives living with dementia because of how difficult it can be to communicate and connect * ?

Dementia can change the way someone communicates. Messages in the brain may take longer to reach the right place, which can make conversations more challenging.

As dementia progresses, families and friends may feel unsure how to stay connected. In a national survey, nearly all respondents (93%) said communication barriers made meaningful interaction harder, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Understanding why communication becomes more challenging is the fi rst step in remaining connected with your loved one.

Staying connected

We know many families feel they don’t have enough support with communication after their loved one develops dementia. That’s why Care UK created Staying connected: a guide to dementia-friendly conversations

This guide offers support for family members and friends to understand

some of the ways dementia can impact a person’s ability to communicate and provides advice for making day-to-day communication less stressful. We share practical tips to help you communicate more easily and confidently with your loved ones.

Pick up a free copy in your local care home or download it as part of our ‘ The Big Dementia Conversation’ online advice hub.

We’re here for you

‘The Big Dementia Conversation’ online advice hub is all about sharing knowledge and real-life experiences to support those who are looking after someone living with dementia.

If you’re caring for a loved one with dementia and need a little extra support, why not visit our website to discover more ways we can help you and your loved one.

Visit our online advice hub to fi nd out more by scanning the QR code.

*According to a survey of 2,000 adults, conducted by OnePoll.

If you’re considering care, call your local care home Manor Lodge on 01245 904876 or visit careuk.com/manor-lodge

Did you know?

Nearly 4 in 10 people say they’ve avoided visiting a relative living with dementia.

93% of people feel communicating barriers can prevent meaningful interaction with their relatives.

The top three things people fi nd most challenging are:

• having to repeat themselves (43%)

• not being recognised (42%)

• understanding what their loved one means (40%)*

Samantha is a local nurse and is passionate about the work that charities perform locally and nationally. Samantha will promote charities on this page free of charge and is particularly interested to hear about smaller local charities. If you wish to share your story or promote a local or national charity dear to you, we’d love to hear from you at: enquiries@overtheedgemag.co.uk.

Sanctus - offering hope, support and friendship to the most vulnerable

Sanctus began in 2011 as a small soup kitchen and has grown into a Café, Service Hub and Shop operating six days a week to support people facing homelessness, isolation, addiction and mental health challenges.

The Café is the first point of contact, offering a safe space, hot meals, takeaway food, clothing and essentials. As trust builds, many seek further help from the Support Hub, which provides guidance on areas such as housing, employment, finances, mental health and domestic abuse There is also an NHS Doctors Surgery on site once a week.

Last year, Sanctus supported around 850 individuals from across Essex, provided over 20,000 meals, delivered 3,000 one-to-one support sessions and 4 out of every 10 people who visited them when homeless were assisted directly into housing. These statistics show just how much their service is needed in the local community.

Supporters can volunteer in the Café, Shop or with food collections and donate items such as non perishable food, tents, sleeping bags and coats. Financial donations, sponsored challenges and fundraising events also keep the charity running.

Sanctus organises a range of events – please visit their website for further details. Supporters can also take part in the Spring Supper Club fundraiser by hosting a meal and collecting donations. A Supper Club Pack with ideas and recipes will be available online in March.

Sanctus, 30–32 Broomfield Road, Chelmsford. www.sanctus-home.com

Hold my Beer

Poetry Corner

This month, we feature a poem about Chelmsford written by local up-and-coming spoken word artist, Rebecca Carter. Rebecca’s aim for the poem was to get to the heart of what Chelmsford means to its people, exploring and celebrating what residents, workers and visitors love most about it. The poem spotlights the blend of modern and historic spaces that make up the Chelmsford of today; the hardworking communities and growing families that will shape our city in the years to come; and the big and small moments to be enjoyed every day – from the busy to the peaceful.

Chelmsford City Council has launched a new, short video centred around Rebecca’s poem (see Rebecca’s Instagram account @ intunewithrebecca or CCC’s website).

A Poem for Chelmsford

by Rebecca Carter

Step into Chelmsford— Far more than a place, Instead, it’s a space, Not just where we live, But where we become

It’s not all shine— it’s concrete warmed by sun, bins rattling on early runs, the rhythm of buses,

the stillness between shifts. The hearts in which this city lives.

Here, History doesn’t sit still— it shouts from the bricks of Shire Hall, waves ripple to open fields of Writtle We stand together, and tall.

Peruse our chartered Market, learn to barter

With the masters

Who with their Unique charisma, Cast a new light

On our city’s hidden delights

In Hylands you’ll find quiet, but in the corners of Chelmer Village, of South Woodham Ferrers and Beaulieu, you’ll truly, find the heartbeat— the homes of families, rearing future generations to bring their greatness to our streets. This city is what you make it. Chelmsford, where you become the narrator.

Go to the river and don’t underestimate her, our longest standing resident.

Easing you into soulful resonance, learning and growing, ebbing and flowing seemingly circular motions yet, undeniably expanding. Testing time, and withstanding, through exploration, dedication, to paving its own destination.

Commuting haven, central hub, I swear, we’re not making it up, it was always there. We just needed to switch up perceptions, look above, then… slow down, what’s the rush?

I urge you… to pause, to take it all in. There’s magic in the micro if, you choose to tune in.

CHELMSFORD’S

GHOST PUBS

The Coach & Horses

Just look at this fascinating photo of March’s historic hostelry. Demolished in the early 1900s, The Coach & Horses stood along Duke Street on a site now occupied by the oldest parts of County Hall.

What scene would have awaited an

Over the Edge Global Reach

This month, we are indebted to Mick Corcoran, who is currently working in Yanbu, Saudi Arabia, knocking down large buildings as only he knows how.

Global Reach 1 - Mick and his colleagues, Rauf and Fares reading the magazine whilst taking a well-deserved tea break.

Global Reach 2 - Here we have Mr DK, the project leader, reading Over the Edge with his beautiful family at home. I hope the jokes were appropriate in the January edition!

Global Reach 3 – It’s the prickly little fella making his pitch for PM, sent in by a Ms Kemi Badenoch of Saffron Walden. I kid you not, or at least that’s what the email said! Edge Hog gets our vote!

Please keep sending these photos to us; we can’t believe how far our little old magazine travels! Send them to graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

eager drinker who passed through the open door between the two bay windows facing onto the street? Was the ale of fine quality? Were the regulars a friendly bunch? Was it known for its lock-ins? We will never know.

The pub’s demise made way for the construction in 1909 of the Essex County Council’s headquarters, a building designed by architect Frank Whitmore (1844–1920) in a classical style.

Born in 1844 in Suffolk, Whitmore is thought to have spent most of his life in Chelmsford. Early in his career, he was selected to work for the Chinese Government to set up a new settlement. After four years, he returned to England. Several other significant Whitmore buildings survive locally, including:

• Ford End Primary School, the original part of the school (1873), is attributed to Whitmore.

• Courtman House (formerly Maltese House), a substantial Victorian villa designed c.1885 by Whitmore for himself, where he lived until his death.

• The Old Police Station at 58–59 New Street (corner with Waterloo Lane) and

opposite, the Shire Hall, eastern extension (both 1903-4).

Whitmore served as Chelmsford’s mayor 1892-3 and was influential in the laying out of Central Park in 1894. Frank Whitmore Green, a public green space in Chelmsford city centre, is named in his honour, reflecting his local legacy.

Let’s raise a glass to Frank!

Let us have your suggestions for next month’s Lost Inn Time. Which historic hostelries haunt you? wontpassthiswayagain@gmail.com

O N LY

J O K I N G !

I have just read a post saying, “Lonely man seeks wife.” Apparently, he had 300 replies, all saying, “You can have mine.”

Me: “Do you have any books on turtles?” Librarian: “Hard back?”

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer ‘smoking’ or ‘non-smoking’. Apparently, the correct terms are cremation or burial.

Me: “Yeah, with little tiny heads.”

Husband: “When I get cross with you, you never argue back. How do you control your anger?”

Wife: “I clean the toilet.”

Jeff walks into the pub and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong.

Husband: “How does that help?”

Wife: “I use your toothbrush.”

“Good boy!” and then he asks, “What is the opposite of smooth?”

Dog replies, “Rough” “That’s my boy!” the guy says and pats him on the head.

“Who was the best Scotland goalkeeper of all time?”

The Pope is handing out miracles to kids in Liverpool. Billy walks on stage and asks him, “Hey Pope, can you help me with my hearing?” The Pope replies, “Yes, of course, my son” and puts his hands on Billy’s ears and prays. He removes his hands and says, “How is your hearing now?”

“Rough” barks the dog. The ringmaster says, “Get out of here and stop wasting my time!” and pushes them out of his office and slams the door.

Billy says, “I don’t know, it’s not until next Wednesday.”

Me: “You seem happier.”

Whilst walking back to the car, the dog looks up at his master and says, “Do you think I should have said Jim Leighton?”

“Well”, replies Paul, “You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got aroused every time I saw her?”

A copper pulled me over for speeding and said to me, “If you can give me a reasonable excuse I’ve never heard before, l’ll let you go.”

“Yes”, replies Jeff with a laugh.

I said, “Several years ago, my husband ran off with his secretary. I thought you were trying to bring him back to me.”

“Well”, says Paul, straightening up, “I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed.”

“That’s great!” says Jeff, “When are you going out?”

The copper replied. “Just slow down a bit and have a nice day madam.”

Wife: “Thanks, I uploaded our whole argument onto ChatGPT and it said I was right.”

A man has been shot with a starting pistol and then beaten with a relay baton. Police believe it may be a race-related attack.

By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

My therapist said I should get an emotional support animal. So, l got a chicken. Deep fried. It came with a chocolate milkshake. I feel better already.

I asked the lass at the chemist if they’d got any Benylin. “For cough?” she said.

Someone actually commented on my driving today.

They left a little note saying, parking fine.

I said, “Whoa, I only asked.”

“I went to meet her this evening” continues Paul, “but I was worried I’d get an erection again. So, I got some duct tape and taped ‘it’ to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn’t show.”

“Sensible”, says Jeff.

Before my Grandfather died, he told me that he got to see the Titanic and that from the very beginning, he told them the passengers shouldn’t get on board because he knew it was going to sink. But nobody listened, and he repeatedly told them right up to the minute they kicked him out of the cinema.

“So, I get to her door”, says Paul, “and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest dress you ever saw.”

My local barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I’ve been his customer for 6 years, and I had no idea he was a barber.

“And what happened then?”

“I kicked her in the face.”

A man takes his dog to the circus and tells the ringmaster that his dog can speak English and that he should be in the circus. The ringmaster says, “That’s rubbish. Prove it.”

My mother-in-law was married twice. Her first husband died with food poisoning after eating dodgy mushrooms. Her second one died with a fractured skull. He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.

I was getting out of the shower when my girlfriend said, “You’re getting fat, just look at that belly. When was the last time you saw your pecker?” I replied, “It’s been a long time to be fair.” She said, “Why don’t you diet?” I replied, “Why, what colour is it now?”

My wife called me at the pub. She said if I was not home in 10 minutes, she would feed my dinner to the dog. I was home in five. I love that dog too much to see any harm come to him.

I was at a funeral yesterday when I asked the vicar for the WiFi code and he shouted, “Please, have some respect for the deceased,” and I replied, “Is that all in lower case, vicar?”

I have been teaching my dog to fetch tools from my workshop. He’s not perfect, but he knows the drill.

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm and I accidentally gave her the super glue by mistake, she’s not talking to me.

Am I the only one who buys a dozen reusable supermarket shopping bags and leaves them in the car every single time? Nope, I thought not.

What’s the difference between Dubai & Abu Dhabi? The people in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi do.

My wife asked me, “What would be the female equivalent of a man cave?”

I said to her, “That would be a kitchen.” By the way, does anyone have a place I can stay for a few nights?

A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray. “Is this good for wasps?” he asks the assistant. To which she replies “No, it kills them.”

Just to let you all know, I have been admitted to hospital. I poisoned myself. I ate what I thought was an onion, but it was a daffodil bulb. They have said I’ll be out sometime in the Spring.

The man says, “Ok, I will’ and he asks his dog three questions:

“What is on top of a house?”

The dog replies, “Roof”

If you are attracted to both women and men, but neither of them are attracted to you, that means you are bi-yourself.

A wife’s prayer; Dear God

Q. What did the cheese say whilst looking at himself in the mirror?

A. “Halloumi’

I told my wife the Amazon driver claims to have slept with every woman in our street except one! My wife said, “It’s probably that stuck-up bitch at No.14.”

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche.

You gave me a childhood... You took it away...

You know what, I’ve put out loads of fires, but do they call me a Fireman?

No, they don’t.

You gave me youth... You took it away...

You gave me a husband... It’s been years now, I’m just saying.

You know what, I’ve made loads of wooden furniture, but do they call me a Carpenter?

No, they don’t.

You know what, I’ve built dozens of houses, but do they call me a Builder?

The police came to my house today and said, “It looks like your husband has been hit by a bus.”

No, they don’t.

But you shag one sheep…………

I said, “I know, but other than that, he has a lovely personality and he’s great with the kids”

I was walking past a farm, and a sign said: Duck, eggs! I thought: That’s an unnecessary comma - and then it hit me.

A husband died, and a few years later the wife died. When she got to heaven, she saw her husband and ran up to him with tears in her eyes. “Darling, oh how I’ve missed you,” she says. The husband extends his arms, stopping her from embracing him, “Steady there woman, the contract was until death.”

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is a little lighter.

When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Can someone please tell me what LGBTQ+ stands for?

Nobody is giving me a straight answer.

I refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job. But when I got home all the signs were there.

My local coffee shop has a sign that reads, “No Wi-Fi, just pretend it’s 1973.”

I’m not claiming that I had a rough time with my pregnancy, but I was throwing up during conception

So, I paid 15p for my coffee and lit up a cigarette.

Blue Lights

The year is already going fast, and the New Year television is in full flow.

First up is Blue Lights. First shown on the BBC and still

Vic on the Telly

Vic on the Telly

saying it was rubbish, but I, like many others, disagree. Game of Thrones, take note; this is how you end a series. If you like sci-fi with mild horror, then this is for you. Stranger Things is still on Netflix.

dragons, caused by a lie, two Targaryens siblings lead two opposing armies.

As you might have read in the last edition of The Edge, me and the Mrs changed our tv package from Virgin Media to Now TV. The Now TV package also had Sky Atlantic included, a channel I have admired from afar.

My column for Over the Edge will be talking and reviewing television and films. It will include anything watchable. It will be called vicontvandfilms. Since watching television and films has changed over the years, streaming will be included.

It is a Belfast based police drama that is set after the troubles. Both series had 6 episodes each. Both series had an arc of other stuff. It has been reviewed as a great show which I agree with. There will be many more series as the BBC believes in this series. It is worth a watch and you can see if you like it.

House of Dragon

La Palma comes up next on what I’ve watched. It’s a disaster drama mini-series on Netflix. I believe it was Norwegian-made as it starred a lot of Norwegian actors. La Palma is the Canary Island that is slowly splitting apart. This drama follows problems with the volcano.

comedy in it too and it made me think about other TV trivia game shows. There was one a few years ago called Paul Sinha’s TV Showdown - Paul Sinha of Chase fame. It wasn’t very good. It had a celebrity panel too.

One brother should rightly be on the throne but is not; his brother having been mistakenly put there. It’s a little slower and has fantastic scenery.

The first series to be reviewed is a controversial one, The Tattooist of Auschwitz. I had seen it advertised on television and when we changed provider I was able to see it. It will not be everyone’s cup of tea. A lot of people have asked how can you make a drama out of the holocaust? They did!

This series was based on Heather Morris’s book of the same name. It’s brutal, disturbing and devastating. It covers the relationship between Lala Sololov and Gita in the concentration camp of Auschwitz. Lala, the protagonist in the television drama, switches between now and the time in the camp. Like all programmes it is littered with historical inaccuracies. I think it is worth a watch, I

I got to finish Stranger Things over the Christmas holiday. Some episodes were released on Christmas Day and one on New Year’s Day. It has now finished. It was worthy of a watch. The last episode was a long one, at around 2 hours, but it concluded the story. Some fans were not impressed,

I have now watched series one and two on iPlayer.

There may be a third series next year.

https://www.overtheedgemag.co.uk/

While watching some background television, I came across another game show I haven’t seen before. The name of the show is Time is Money. It seems to be the opposite of most game shows. Contestants start with the money, and the objective is to keep it. Time is their enemy, and they have to answer quick-fire questions to keep it, while others lose it. It’s hosted by Dragons’ Den’s Sara Davies. It’s on ITV, and I think it is usually an afternoon show, but I caught it in the evening.

Next for me to review is House of the Dragon. I saw that Series 2 was advertised to start in June. I watched Game of Thrones before on DVD as I did not have Sky Atlantic.

I missed the first series of House of the Dragon but will try and find a way to see it. I have seen

Listening to the intro music brought back memories of Game of Thrones.

Smart TV

The third television programme review is Rob Beckett’s Smart TV, a game show based on TV knowledge.

I watched Catching a Killer: Buried Truths. Its subject was a murder that took place in Chelmsford in November 2024 along Duke Street. I wanted to know more. It was a gripping and emotionally charged true crime documentary. It delved into one of Essex Police’s most complex cases. It all started with the disappearance of Cumali Turhan. It gave raw access to procedural death and the human impact. It seems to be the first case in which a body has been recovered from a large landfill site. It focuses on the challenges presented by a murder case in which the victim’s body is absent. It showed the human cost of violence and the relentless pursuit of justice.

TV Showdown brought back memories of Telly Addicts. I was a 10 year old kid when it first started and was near abouts my 20’s when it ended. My knowledge of TV back then was not that great, but it has grown. This mostly had the general public as contestants with the occasional celebrity. It was hosted by Noel Edmonds.

sees them whittled down as they are eliminated. Everybody has a favourite trivia subject and takes on adjacent contestants in a quiz duel lasting 45 seconds each, having to guess the visual photos on the screen. The winner from each duel claims the loser’s square/squares.

Another series box set I have watched lately is True Detective. I watched the first series and all of the fourth series called the Night Country. Season one was the best of the two in my opinion. From the haunting song at the beginning “Far from any road” by the Handsome Family, series one had the back and forth timelines of the two main characters Rusty Cohle and Marty Hart who were played by Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson respectively. Two polar opposites working together to solve a very gruesome murder and other crimes. This season had two male main characters.

The format is two teams of three celebrities with one of them as a permanent captain, these being Alison Hammond and Josh Widdecombe.

I just found out that The Voice was moved from the autumn schedule. It was going to be shown in the new year as a replacement for Dancing on Ice, but it got replaced by The Floor. What is happening, and who enjoys the voice? It goes nowhere. At least X-Factor had some singers go on to bigger things.

The fourth season has two female detectives solving the disappearance of a set of scientists from a research centre. The only flashbacks are how things happened. This one’s main characters are Liz Danvers and Evangeline Navarro played by Jodie Foster and Kali Reis respectively. I have been a fan of Foster since I was little.

The host, as it says, is Rob Beckett. It has elements of

There appear to be a lot of game shows on at the start of the year. Another one I stumbled on one evening was called The Floor. Hosted by Rob Brydon, it features a lot of contestants (81 at the beginning of the run) and

News just in: YouTube attracted more viewers than the BBC in December 2025 (52 million to 50 million).

Collect your copy of at any of the following locations:

The White Hart, Little Waltham - The Galvin Green Man, Howe Street - Little Channels Bistro - Bang & OlufsenChannels Restaurant - Channels Café - Nationwide Building Soc - Rayleigh Hi-Fi - Park & Ride (Chelmer Valley & Sandon) - Moulsham News - Costa Coffee (Beaulieu, Riverside, Essex Regiment Way) - Coffee Squared, Beaulieu - Bond Street car park - Fête, Grays Yard - Mercedes, BMW/Mini, Land Rover & Audi showrooms - The Lion Inn, Boreham - Sainsbury’s Boreham - Longacres Garden Centre - NISA Sandford Rd - Tesco, Princes Rd - Miller & Carter - Fox & Raven - Co-Op, Bridge St, Writtle - 2MT Café, Roxwell Rd - The Ship - China City, Broomfield ParadeClaremont Garden Centre & The Tin Roof Café, Woodham Mortimer - The Royal Steamer - Jamaica Blue, Bond StACanteen, New London Rd - Mr Cavendish, Rainsford RdMeadow Croft Garden Centre, Battlesbridge - Toast - The Cricketers - Sandwich Plus, New St - Little Waltham Social Club & Doctors Surgery - The Hub Café, Warners FarmThe Rose of India, Rainsford Rd - Pontlands Park Hotel, Gt Baddow - The White Hart, Margaretting Tye - The Royal Tiger, Rettendon - The Vape Store, Broomfield ParadeTesco, Gt Notley Braintree - ASDA, Chelmer Village - The Riverside Inn - The Two Brewers - The Wheatsheaf - The Woolpack - O’Connor’s - United Brethren - The Orange Tree - The Queen’s Head - The Nags Head - The Railway Tavern - Morrisons, Maldon - Sainsbury’s, Chipping Ongar

The Over the Edge Big Giveaway!

THE IRISH HOUSE PARTY

For 20 years, the most popular music and dance show in Ireland –But now you won’t need to travel to Dublin to see it. Welcome to The Irish House Party UK Tour.

Join the audience in Chelmsford and be transported back to the heart of an impromptu Irish House Party.

We have 2 free tickets to give away to a lucky Over the Edge reader for a night at Chelmsford Theatre. All you have to do is answer this simple question; What was a traditional Irish House Party? https://theirishhouseparty.com/

Email your answer to graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk and we’ll draw the winner out of a leprechaun’s cocked hat!

Unfinished Business in Trieste (Part IV) -

What Happens in Porto Vecchio Stays in Porto Vecchio

Whilst it was an ally of Germany, Italy had not declared war on France, the British Empire or even Poland. It had turned a blind eye to those Polish servicemen travelling across its soil to reach France; so that bit was easy, but the first stop was Trieste. So, there was my father, back in Trieste, preparing to travel across Italy with other members of the Polish military who were unable to return to their country. These Polish servicemen were travelling across the breadth of Italy to reach the South of France to re-enlist in the now newly reforming Polish army that was being allowed to recruit courtesy of both the French government and the newly established Polish government in exile.

My father, who still had his small share of the diamonds as part payment for his help in the diamond robbery, had to figure out what to do with them. Was he to carry them across the length and breadth of Europe as he sought refuge, or to re-enlist? Or should he now hide them in a safe place?

When: Tuesday 10th March.

Where: Chelmsford Theatre, Fairfield Road, Chelmsford, CM1 1JG.

Doors open: 19:30

Tickets: £26.00 each - if you’re not the lucky OTE winner! Box Office: 01245 606505 • Email: boxoffice@chelmsford.gov.uk

Would Trieste be a safe haven in which to store his diamonds? Most definitely, as at the time everybody thought that following the invasion of Poland, that would be that, and peace would follow. A short war that would now be over quickly, with Poland being carved up between Germany and Russia, and would disappear just as had been the case before 1918. Sure, there would be some sabre rattling, a few minor skirmishes, but that would be it, ‘The End’. Nobody expected that the war would last for another 6 years and involve not just Germany, France and the British Empire, but also the USSR, Italy, Japan, the USA, and a whole host of other countries, and would completely change the face of not just Europe but the rest of the World.

He decided to store the diamonds and return when peace was declared. But where could he store them safely? The Porto Vecchio district of Trieste lies to the right side of the Port of Trieste when you face the sea of the Bay of Trieste; it was, and still is, part of the heart of the City itself. In the late 1930’s, the Porto Vecchio consisted of a large number of one and two-storey buildings and warehouses where goods, imported from the Middle and Far East, were stored for distribution to Northern Italy and to many parts of central and Eastern Europe.

My father worked as an import agent for his father’s (my Grandfather’s) import-export business in Warsaw, and as such, he had access to a warehouse they rented in the Porto Vecchio. Stored in the warehouse were spices imported from the Far and Middle East, the popular Jaffa orange imported from the British Mandate of Palestine,

Old SilverGrey Surfer

coffee beans from a variety of coffee producers in Lebanon and Kenya, and sugar imported from Great Britain and the USA.

My father knew that, located in the warehouse manager’s office, was an old black safe where documents, cash and customs clearance forms were stored. It was an ideal place to temporarily store his share of the diamonds, well, at least until he could return to reclaim them. But, should he hide all of them, or just hide some of them? This was the question he asked himself.

As my father proudly related, many years after the war, he had with him his old heavy, wide rectangular petrol lighter, which had been given to him by his own father, and was always by his side, and years later was still in his possession. It is silver-hued, nondescript, battered and dented from its use over the years, but he had kept it, and I still have that lighter all these years later, a strange but personal heirloom. As my father had described, he’d used the nail file from his travel kit, unscrewed the base plate of the lighter and then removed the internal wadding, leaving the old long wick in place. He had taken three of the smaller diamonds from those he had been given, packed them into the body of the lighter, then repacked as much of the wadding as he could, then soaked it with lighter fuel, and finally screwed the plate back onto the base of the lighter. The diamond-stuffed lighter didn’t rattle, and the exposed wick lit perfectly. For my father, it was now three down and a further dozen to hide, so what could be simpler?

Just as a postscript, one of those diamonds was worn by my mother, who always claimed that my father, after the war, just happened to have a diamond available to grace her engagement ring, a ring made by one of my father’s friends, an old Brazilian diamond dealer.

Trieste in early September was a city at peace with itself. Sure, there had been the recent diamond theft, but that had involved a number of foreign gentlemen, stealing from other foreign gentlemen outside a foreign private bank, posing no threat to Italy, Italian nationals or Italian banks. And, apart from a fairly superficial series of inquiries, the Italian police, the so-called Carabinieri, quietly shelved their investigation. So, Trieste was calm, peaceful, and my father felt safe as he arrived at the warehouse.

The Enhanced Games

The Enhanced Games are heading to Las Vegas in May: elite athletes competing openly while using performance-enhancing drugs. No pretending. No moral theatre. Just “here are the rules, here are the risks, crack on.” And yes, I’m intrigued enough to watch.

Let’s stop clutching pearls for a moment. Modern elite sport already runs on a polite fiction: that superhuman performances happen purely because of hard work, protein shakes, and positive thinking. We’ve had decades of doping scandals, lifetime bans, medals reassigned years later, and heartfelt apologies written by lawyers. The Enhanced Games don’t invent the problem; they will remove the hypocrisy. That doesn’t make it wholesome. This is still humans pushing biology beyond its comfort zone. The risks are real, long-term, and not fully understood. Medical oversight helps, but it doesn’t make the experiment harmless. There’s a line between consenting adults making risky choices and building a commercial spectacle around those risks. Las Vegas is not exactly famous for its caution.

The uncomfortable question is this: are we witnessing honesty in sport, or just the monetisation of danger? If records tumble, will audiences quietly prefer the “enhanced” version of reality? And what pressure does that put on the next generation, the teenager deciding whether clean sport is the slow lane? There is a potential upside. By separating “clean sport” from “enhanced sport”, we might finally draw a bright line that protects traditional competition from the endless arms race of cheating. Two leagues. Two rulebooks. No pretending.

I’ll be tuning in when the Games commence in the coming months, not because I want

athletes to take risks, but because I want to see what happens when sport stops lying to itself. The spectacle will be compelling. The ethics will be messy. And the debate it forces might be the most honest thing elite sport has done in years.

Double Glazing: Now Featuring Interpretive Dance

I asked a national firm for a quote to replace a couple of windows and two doors. You’d think this was a straightforward exchange of numbers. Instead, I was treated to a full-blown performance piece. If there had been smoke machines and a live violinist, I wouldn’t have been surprised. There was the rehearsed friendliness. The laminated brochures. The subtle implication that my home might collapse into the sea if I didn’t act quickly. Then came the price. Reader, I checked my pulse. For a moment, I genuinely wondered if the windows were forged from reclaimed cathedral glass by artisans who only work during a full moon. They weren’t. They were… windows. Perfectly decent ones. Plastic frames. Glass that does glass things. A door that opens when you pull it. Useful. Necessary. Not “sell a kidney” special. This is the part they don’t say out loud: with national firms, you’re not paying for better glazing, you’re paying for the theatre. The call centres. The commission structure. The finance packages dressed up as kindness. The “lifetime guarantee” that sounds comforting until you realise you’ve prepaid for three lifetimes.

The cruel irony is the green lecture. Insulate your home. Save energy. Do your bit. I’m here boiling half a kettle like Captain Planet on a budget, while the price of not freezing in my lounge is apparently equivalent to

an expensive holiday to the Maldives. If we’re serious about energy efficiency, maybe we should stop selling basic home upgrades like luxury handbags. So here’s my radical consumer advice: breathe. Get three local quotes. Ask who does the making good. And remember — if a salesperson makes a window sound like an investment opportunity, you’re not buying glass anymore. You’re buying a story. Your house will survive another winter. Your bank balance deserves to as well.

What the Lucy Letby Documentary Left Me

Thinking

I watched the Lucy Letby documentary on Netflix expecting a true-crime story. What I didn’t expect was to come away feeling unsettled about how we, as the public, process guilt in cases built on complex medical evidence. First, it’s important to say this clearly: the families who lost their babies have suffered a tragedy beyond words. Any discussion about process or proof should never lose sight of that human reality. If deliberate harm occurred, then Letby deserves the most serious punishment available under the law.

The documentary doesn’t claim to overturn a verdict, and nor should it. But it does raise questions about how certainty is constructed in cases involving neonatal medicine, statistics, and retrospective interpretation of clinical events. In high-risk hospital environments, outcomes can cluster around certain staff simply because of shift patterns, experience levels, and exposure to the most unwell patients. Correlation can feel like causation, even when the underlying picture is more complicated.

What struck me most was learning that a number of senior medical experts have

publicly expressed doubts about whether the clinical evidence demonstrates deliberate harm, including disagreement over interpretations that featured prominently in the prosecution case. Expert disagreement doesn’t equal exoneration, but it does matter when the standard we rely on is “beyond reasonable doubt”. The documentary also highlights how emotionally powerful evidence can be when it’s presented to a jury. Notes written in moments of distress, patterns drawn from small numbers, and retrospective theories can all feel compelling without being conclusive.

I don’t know what the final truth is, and I won’t pretend to. But the programme left me with a simple, uncomfortable thought: when cases sit at the intersection of tragedy, medicine and probability, we should be especially careful about how confident we are in our conclusions. There may yet be more to come from further scrutiny and review, and in a justice system, that willingness to re-examine hard cases is not weakness, but strength.

UNLOCK YOUR CAPITAL FROM YOUR HOME

MarlonHarewood

West Ham United Winter Weekender

I recently had an unforgettable experience representing West Ham United as an ambassador at the Winter Weekender. Sharing this special event alongside Anton Ferdinand, who joined as a fellow ambassador, made it even more memorable. Being out in the U.S. with the incredible American Hammers was a powerful reminder that the Claret and Blue family stretches far beyond East London.

Hosted in the stunning surroundings of Park City, the weekend brought together passionate supporters for football, fundraising, friendship, and even a bit of adventure on the slopes. We, of course, took the opportunity to go skiing, a first for Anton and only my second time. I thoroughly enjoyed getting back out there. It was a

fantastic experience that added another special element to an already unforgettable weekend.

There’s something unique about gathering thousands of miles from home yet feeling completely connected through a shared passion for the beautiful game. Matchday magic came as we watched the game against Burnley F.C. together and celebrated another West Ham United win. The atmosphere was electric, filled with classic chants, goal celebrations, and that unmistakable Hammers spirit.

A key highlight of the weekend was raising money for the West Ham United Foundation at the beautiful Weedon Ranch. The Winter Weekender is an event that the club is very proud of, as it represents what our Foundation stands for: community, impact, and togetherness. The generosity and passion shown by everyone involved were truly inspiring, showcasing how football goes far beyond what happens on the pitch.

As if the football excitement wasn’t enough, we also embraced what Americans call football — the Super Bowl, enjoying a true American sporting tradition and watching the Seahawks take the win. This particularly resonated with me, as my son is currently at college in the States on a football scholarship. Lastly, a massive thank you to Roland, Michelle and the Weedon Family for their incredible partnership in bringing this event to life. Your warmth, generosity, and attention to detail made the entire experience unforgettable. The collaboration between West Ham United and Weedon Ranch has created something truly special: a celebration

of loyalty, community, and the global West Ham United family.

Weekends like this remind us what being part of West Ham United is all about: loyalty, community, and pride, no matter where in the world we are.

Come on You Irons

Marlon Harewood Founder and Director

MH10 Global LTD

Good day everyone and thanks for reading my column this month.

Firstly, I would like to say congrats to Deaks for all of the great work over the last 3 months, pulling together some amazing features. This month’s interview with the legendary Joe Cole on page 26 is amazing. What a sublime piece of fortune, to be able to interview such a star of WHUFC.

Boxed-In

are we now facing a backward step? The office community have always been quite precious about who they sit with and it seems that more and more companies are bringing back offices, which I do not agree with – this is a movement away from collaboration in the workplace.

The office environment is a simple one but complicated by so many people having a different view, which is good, but as a Designer, it can be frustrating. Of course, nobody wants to be told what to do or to be dictated to, but imagine if we had spaces which were so disjointed that an eclectic felt dizzy!

I suppose all of my columns to date are focussed on the new norm since the pandemic. More and more people are working from home with ‘Agile’ and ‘Hybrid’ solutions popping up everywhere.

Interestingly, over the last 5 years, furniture manufacturers have really pushed the concept of smaller individual PODs onto the design industry for placement into commercial space. On the flip-side, as Designers, we have spent 20 years working towards a more collaborative ‘Open

are downright ugly. What are the criteria for having the right POD?

For those of you that are not familiar, I have shown an image of something which we are installing into our projects currently.

Many designers in the industry will take Style over Substance, but there is a balance, each requiring compromise.

offices and were being allocated a desk in the open plan with their teams. One of my rebellious customers showed great creativity to build his own pre-millennium POD using cardboard.

Office environments are certainly becoming more ‘homely’ and comfortable. The placement of elegant leather sofas, comfy armchairs and footstools etc help this along. However, the introduction of PODs, if used as they should, and NOT as makeshift individual offices will certainly work and adds further interest. If the whole community could see these as another space to enjoy when they want to ‘focus’ or take some time to work remotely it would be great. Last month, I spoke about having our place of work for everyone, not just the chosen few and the introduction of PODs means that anyone could have their ‘15 minutes’.

We, as a design firm (Workplace Designs Ltd) have currently engaged with a factory to make our own, which I have to say are both stunning and practical with high acoustic properties.

In 1995 I designed the offices for XeroxUK with a concerted shift away from cellular space, which I can state, for this particular community was enormous. Once, one of the most successful companies in the world and cash rich until the patent for their devices ran out (c1975) thereby allowing Cannon & Ricoh et al to clamber all-over their market share.

So, on the Monday morning after the move into the new facility, there he was with 2m high cardboard walls surrounding his desk, he had even constructed a cardboard roof with a sliding cardboard door which he taped shut! I think if we had smartphones back then, it would have gone viral – it was amazing!

Nowadays, we have the most incredible opportunities with our work spaces, as many firms try hard to create a great environment for their staff. NB: it is never perfect for us all and it will never be easy, but with a little compromise, it can be better than we had before and closer to our ideal.

Last month I mentioned that we would be running a competition, which has been delayed, so please tune in next month for your chance to win one of those amazing Dinosaur heads

Thanks for reading

Design Dude

Inspiration for the Population

Please feel free to email: DesignDude.20@gmail.com

Wuthering Heights

Anyone expecting a period ‘bonk-buster’ may be seriously disappointed with Wuthering Heights, the new film adaptation from Emerald Fennell, who last had us squirming as Barry Keoghan licked a plughole in cult hit ‘Saltburn’.

Being heavily promoted as a lusty romantic epic for Valentine’s, Wuthering Heights is about as steamy as a cold shower. Everything is very squashy, with lingering shots of hands scooping up egg yolks or a finger being inserted into a jellied fish mouth. There are even wall furnishings made to look like human skin, complete with moles and blemishes intact.

The casting feels off, with Margot Robbie, undeniably beautiful, arguably too old in the role of Catherine, who was around 18 in the original book, and therefore far more impressionable by the more mature Heathcliff. Before I get accused of being ageist, it’s narratively and thematically important for the story to be believable. At one point, we time jump from Catherine as a child being friends with Heathcliff to her being a 35-year-old woman, and it’s jarring. As producer on the movie, Margot Robbie should have shown a bit more humility and not cast herself in the main role. There just isn’t any chemistry between Robbie and Jacob Elodri’s imposing Heathcliff on screen. The film felt a bit like being in a dentist’s waiting room and flicking through a wellthumbed interior design magazine, just lots of pretty images moving quickly with little context. I bet the costume and set designers had a ball, though, as the craft is undeniable, yet it all looks very stagey, and ultimately, I found it frustratingly dull. Its one saving grace is Martin Clunes as Catherine’s dad, who puts in a career best performance as a drunken old miser. I should say that as I walked out of the cinema, I overheard a group saying that it was brilliant, so what do I know? Maybe fans of Charli XCX, who provides the soundtrack, will lap this up.

Where to watch: Wuthering Heights is currently showing in cinemas

Odyssey

Not to be mistaken with the upcoming Christopher Nolan fantasy epic

‘The Odyssey’, this ‘Odyssey’ is from Brit film maker Gerard Johnson, who may not be as well-known as say, Guy Richie, but is one of the most exciting British film makers in recent years, making low budget crime thrillers that dive into the dark heart of corruption, often set within the seedy underbelly of London. His first feature film, Tony,

is a gritty serial killer flick set in a run-down London tower block. He followed that up with Hyena, a pulse-pounding thriller about a corrupt cop getting in deep with London’s Albanian drug cartel. His most recent film, Muscle, featured a formidable Craig Fairbrass as psychotic personal trainer Terry, who takes beta male Simon under his wings.

In Odyssey, estate agent Polly puts on a brave face whilst drowning in debt. After a business merger fails to go through, a ruthless loan shark comes calling for his money. So, Polly calls in a favour from a mysterious Mr Fix-it, named only as ‘The Viking’, to help her out. No one in this film is particularly likeable, even our protagonist, Polly, remains emotionally detached from everyone around her and cares for nothing except her own selfish ambition. Yet her journey makes riveting, nerve-shredding entertainment; you never quite know just how bad things are going to get, and her search for the enigmatic Viking, trawling through increasingly dubious Camden bars, is like watching her descend into the tenth circle of hell. Special mention must go to actor Mikael Persbrandt as The Viking, who is both disarmingly charming and utterly terrifying in equal measure. We absolutely need a film just about him.

Where to watch: Odyssey is currently available to rent or buy and is streaming on BFI Player

Send Help

Cast Away meets Misery would be a good way to describe this action adventure/ horror mash-up from Sam Raimi, starring Rachel McAdams as mousy office worker Linda, who finds herself stranded on a remote island with her insufferable boss after a business trip goes horribly wrong.

Passed over for promotion, Linda soon finds herself on the receiving end of new boss Bradley’s toxic workplace culture, humiliated in front of her colleagues. When the two become stranded together, the tables turn, as Linda has knowledge of survival skills and Bradley has to rely on her to stay alive. As Linda says, “I’m the boss now!”

It would be fair to say Send Help doesn’t really do anything particularly original. Aside from the two aforementioned films, it also borrows heavily from Triangle of Sadness from a few years back, another ‘stranded on a desert island’ movie where social standings are upended in the face of raw nature. Sam Raimi, mostly known for his Evil Dead series of films as well as Spider-Man, brings his usual kinetic energy to help zip it all along nicely, and there is a fair amount of bloody violence for gore hounds to salivate over.

I have to say, though, Linda’s boss isn’t entirely wrong. I mean, anyone who eats tuna sandwiches at their desk deserves to get berated, right?

Where to watch: Send Help is currently showing in cinemas

The

Strangers:

Chapters 1, 2 & 3

Although he had some success in the 90’s with action flicks such as Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger, director Renny Harlin, was more famous for his relationship with leggy Hollywood star Geena Davies, and the two paired up to make the infamous box office bomb that was Cutthroat Island, a soggy pirate adventure that bankrupted Carolco Pictures and sunk Renny Har lins career to the bottom of Davy Jones’ Locker. Now he’s back, and has turned his attention to rebooting so-so noughties home invasion thriller The Strangers, starring Liv Tyler. Only he must believe he is remaking The Lord of the Rings or something, because for some inexplicable reason, he has made three films to tell the story. What worked about the original is that the mysteri ous masked invaders remained an enigma. We never know who they were, and their reason for terrorising the newlywed couple was simply, “be cause you were here”. This new ‘The Strangers’ trilogy makes the fatal error of giving everyone and everything a backstory, missing the point completely that fear of the unknown is scarier than handing the audience everything on a plate. The first chapter is an almost identical remake of the original, only not as good. The second chapter is a simple chase movie full of dumb decisions, but it does at least have a comical wild boar attack to liven things up. The third and final chapter doesn’t really know where to go or what to do, so just sits lifelessly on screen, moving at a snail’s pace de spite its mercifully short 90-minute running time. It teases the idea that one of their victims suc cumbs to Stockholm Syndrome and will become one of the Strangers themselves, but ultimately doesn’t even have the courage to go through with that. And to think this received extensive reshoots after negative audience reactions. Just how bad was the original cut? Save yourself 6 hours of your life and just watch the original instead. Where to watch: Chapter 1 is currently on Netf lix. Chapters 2 and 3 are available to rent or buy.

The

‘Man

on the Omnibus........still’Clapham

Pictures

We start with the sympathy part, so best you take out a large onion in preparation for the short but inevitable sob story. This isn’t a case of The X Factor does hack writers, so there won’t be any backstory video to tug at the heartstrings, which is usually featured to compensate for the lack of talent. And that is not an invitation for comments about the talents of the author! I am recovering from surgery on my left arm and, as a result, will be typing this pretty much one-handed, but such is our dedication we must endure. Deaks has issued the print deadline for the March edition. Missing the print deadline is the ultimate sin and leads to Deaks burning your Parker Knoll chair in the famed OTE writers’ lounge as punishment; it’s a basic kitchen chair after that, so we are all on our toes with regard to deadlines!

These treasure chests cover more than a life of events and visible documented change, but also the methods by which we created those memories. The grainy images from the late seventies were captured on various types of new pocket-style cameras, almost always manufactured by KODAK. Curious little squares of plastic, which you dropped in little cassettes of various sizes containing the film. Pretty much idiot proof, well, the loading certainly was. Also, they had a large blue single-use flash bulb that you plugged in; it blinded most people and gave the most evil red eye to everyone. Taking the picture was not quite so straightforward. You just had to line up the subject matter in the viewfinder, hold still and click. No zooms or trickery like that, more people to get in meant you had to move further away. That was great, but back in the seventies, your nan was still likely to turn up wearing a hat with a basket of fruit stuck on the top of it. To get that hat and the rest of the group all in the frame meant you ended up standing 100 metres back (or yards back then), and subsequently, the people ended up in miniature and with no clarity. Then, having dropped off the film cassette at the chemist, there was the agonizing two week wait to get back the pictures. No deleting as per modern times, you paid for your mistakes in every way financially and artistically! The pocket cameras got better, and we got some quality cameras, allegedly used and advertised by the famous David Bailey, hence the sarcastic insult “who do you think you are, David Bailey?” aimed at anybody with any pretensions toward taking a half-decent picture. Of course, this led us to think we could all become “photographers”.

phone at once! Technology soon brought us the decent phone with tons of storage and the ability to carry around thousands of pictures in our hand, mostly of the cat! Now we are all photo journalists, mainly documenting mostly mundane stuff, but in quantity.

The whole picture-taking process has come full circle. Big boxes to small boxes, to big boxes back to small boxes, all still carry the sad truth that most of us can’t take a decent picture, tech or no tech!.

Where does this leave us with our boxes of real pictures that took real effort to produce? Like vinyl records that have resurged in popularity, it’s a tangibility thing. We like to hold that memory, it’s ours and not held on our behalf by some third-party corporation in a faraway land. That picture is a moment in time, just as a single record is three minutes of moments in time. The thing is, they bring the same result as their digital cousins, happiness, despair at past fashions and that melancholy that time has passed and your hairline departed some considerable time ago, stopping only to pick up your slim waistline on the way! The irony is clear to see, but also how true the saying, what goes around comes around is, especially where fashion is concerned. I can date pictures by the type of trousers or shape of glasses I am wearing. The mad thing is, I am looking at pictures from nearly forty years ago, and my current so-called fashionable 2026 glasses are the same! Just a distinct lack of ‘Barnet’ above them and an excess of lard below!

On to the matter in hand, exactly what are we discussing? We have taken steps to address a situation that many households have as a “nice” problem. Youngsters of the digital age do not have this problem, so to speak, with boxes of old photographs. As at the start of 2026, the UK seems to have been put under the curse of the claw and damned to eternal rain. This, coupled with retirement, pushed us to start a project that we have been thinking about since moving house a couple of years back. We have five very large stacker boxes full of photographs covering the late 1970’s through to the start of our married life (1982) and onto the true start of the digital age in the 1990’s when we stopped with all that oldfashioned printed picture malarky.

The advent of more affordable semi-professional ‘SLR’ cameras meant we all started walking around with the equivalent of a bag of sugar hanging around our neck. Our pictures got better, clearer and more “arty”, well at least we thought they were abstract and “arty”! We still had to pay for developing the film roll, so art came at a price. Then there were the accessories, a bag of lenses, filters and general stuff we didn’t know we needed, mainly because as stupid amateurs we didn’t! There were no quick in-the-moment snaps unless you were waiting and prepared like some kind of paparazzi.

Things moved on again with much better small pocket cameras with good lenses and tons of tricks all built in. More importantly, they started with film but quickly progressed into the magic of digital. No developing, mistakes fully erasable, but then came the demand of recipients to see the picture just taken and insist on editorial control and a retake. All spontaneity was lost as retake after retake became a requirement. But all this was to pale into insignificance as our phones started to get in on the act. At first, the cameras were average to say the least and storage allowed you to hold all of about twenty pictures on your

I had aimed to finish on a joke about photography, but apparently, they haven’t been developed yet!

Yours aye,

CHELMSFORD SPIRITUALIST SOCIETY

Tracing the Spiritualist Journey of a Community

Founded in1933, Chelmsford Spiritualist Society is a beacon of spiritual exploration and community resilience that has stood the test of time. Dedicated to the principles of Spiritualism, the Society has served as a learning space for those seeking to connect with their spiritual selves and explore the mysteries of life, death, and existence.

The Society has always been characterised by its focus on mediumship, healing, and the pursuit of evidence-based spiritual phenomena. Chelmsford first encountered Spiritualist ideas during the late 19th century, when the movement began to spread across England. The curiosity and openness of its local population laid the groundwork for the eventual creation of its Spiritualist Society. Chelmsford Spiritualist Society, from its very beginning, attracted famous mediums and Spiritualists during the 1930s, including Rose Champion de Crespigny, J Arthur Findlay (founder of Stansted Hall), Denis PS Doyle (son of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes and himself a famous Spiritualist) and various others.

Despite the Second World War, this continued throughout the 1940s and the Society even hosted a visit from Air Marshall Lord Dowding, who led the RAF Fighter Command to victory in 1940 in the Battle of Britain! Lord Dowding was a leading Spiritualist during the 1940s and wrote books on the subject.

However, as the decades passed, Chelmsford Spiritualist Society did not rest on its laurels and sought to establish a permanent meeting space. It had met at various premises in Duke Street, Chelmsford and often at the County Hotel, as well as at members’ houses. By the mid-20th century, the Society had secured its own premises at South Primrose Hill, allowing it to develop further its services, teachings, and community outreach programmes. The purpose-built Hall was opened in 1964.

The Society became a hub for Spiritualist activities, hosting regular services, workshops, and gatherings. Mediumship demonstrations were a central feature, and many gifted mediums from across the country visited Chelmsford to share their abilities.

Healing services also became an integral part of its offerings, providing solace and comfort to those in need. In the 1960s, Harry Edwards, Britain’s most famous Spiritual Healer, gave a demonstration during this period.

Modern Era

Today, Chelmsford Spiritualist Society continues to thrive, adapting to the changing needs and interests of modern Spiritualists. While traditional practices such as mediumship and healing remain at its core, the Society has embraced reaching a broader spectrum of people by expanding it educational workshops. It now runs regular workshops on Tarot Reading and Spiritual Trance and other subjects, which are open to anyone with an open mind and enthusiasm! The Society also places a strong emphasis on inclusivity and accessibility, welcoming individuals of all backgrounds to explore their spiritual path. To those of you who feel you have a latent mediumistic ability, the Society has weekly Development Circles. The Circles cater for all abilities with Beginners, Intermediate and Advanced levels. Free of charge spiritual healing is available.

The main way people get to know about the Society, though, is by attending either their weekly Wednesday Clairvoyancy Evenings or their fortnightly Sunday Services. There is always a leading Essex or Regional platform medium giving clairvoyant messages, and many members of the audience receive helpful messages from passed ones, demonstrating clearly the survival of the existence of life after death. I have received several helpful messages myself from the platform mediums who appear here. Some of the regular platform mediums actually started their development at the Chelmsford Spiritualist Society, so their Spiritual journey comes a full circle by returning as a welcome guest medium.

Chelmsford Spiritual Society, despite its rich spiritual heritage, is a friendly and warm place, which I believe that anyone in Essex with an interest in direct spiritual contact should visit at some time in their spiritual journey through life.

Steve Fewtrell https://www. chelmsfordspiritualistsociety.com

Have you ever visited? Do you know where it is? You really need to visit and support this wonderful sanctuary for neglected animals. I took the whole family and we all loved it, especially the grandkids.

Hopefield Animal Sanctuary was founded in 1983 by Paula and Ernie Clark. It had been the coldest winter for 20 years and the stories of ponies being abandoned by their owners on Rainham marshes were hitting the headlines. Paula, a doctor’s receptionist, was already raising money for other sanctuaries, but at home she was in tears over the stories of these poor horses. When Ernie returned home from work, Paula showed him what was happening and it was from this moment on that

they vowed to take action and help the animals that needed them.

They decided to put a call out for some land to start up their own sanctuary. A lady from Pitsea had half an acre to offer, so Paula and Ernie started Hopefield Animal Sanctuary.

As the sanctuary grew, Ernie and Paula both gave up their jobs to look after the animals that needed them. They soon moved to a piece of land in Langdon Hills and were there for 3 years. Hopefield was still growing so they knew it wouldn’t be too long before they had to move again to a bigger piece of land.

Paula put another call out for land and they came across the land

that Hopefield sits on today, which is owned by Tesco who kindly let them have it for a peppercorn rent. Paula and Ernie’s hard work has been recognised by a number of awards, including them both receiving an MBE.

Paula lost her battle with cancer in 2009 and Ernie kept his promise to her to continue their work at Hopefield, which he did until he passed away also of cancer in 2011.

Since their passing, their work has continued under the management of Dave Schlaich (CEO), and Lianne Angliss (General Manager), with the support of 5 trustees - Lee Clark (Paula & Ernie’s son), Nicola

Leona

William Lewis, and Jessica Roche.

Hopefield have continued to rescue animals of all types, including small animals, alpacas, reindeer, exotic animals and more! They have a reptile room and have many exotic mammals including Raccoons, Tanuki, Marmosets, a skunk and even birds of prey.

The sanctuary is open to the public and this generates funds that go directly to caring for the animals. They also have a gift shop and a cafe which they call Max’s Cafe, named after a much loved bull. The cafe is plant based of course.

We’re excited to share some wonderful news from the Zoo! In mid-January, first-time mum Kora gave birth to a baby chimpanzee.

The tiny arrival is already a firm favourite with keepers and visitors alike, clinging closely to mum as she learns the ropes of motherhood.

Dad, Napoleon, joined our troop in April 2025 from Bioparc Fuengirola, Spain.

We are delighted to confirm that the new arrival has now been confirmed as a female and we are asking visitors to share their favourite West African inspired names to help our Animal Care Team choose the perfect name.

Our pileated gibbons have also welcomed a new baby. These playful primates are apes, not monkeys, and live in close family pairs.

Visitors will often hear them singing their beautiful duets across the Zoo. For the first few months, the youngster will remain tightly clung to mum, Qiwen, before beginning to explore and learn how to use those remarkable, elongated arms.

Towards the end of January, we saw the arrival of the world’s smallest fox species, Pinky the fennec fox.

Pinky transferred from Longleat Safari Park to join resident male, Otis, as part of an EEP (EAZA Ex situ Programme) recommendation.

Known as the smallest fox in the world, a fully grown fennec fox weighs only 1.5kg compared to the British red fox which weighs around 5kg! We hope that the pair form a bond and eventually welcome some pups in the future.

www.colchesterzoo.org

Over recent months, we have hosted a range of educational training sessions for teachers, local councillors, and community nature groups keen to take action to help wildlife and wild places.

Working with a range of partners, we have delivered workshops and talks that share practical ways to help green up our wider community. From transforming school grounds to improving community green spaces, we are passionate about supporting action that helps nature thrive.

We are proud to have achieved a highly commendable score of 89% in our first VisitEngland Quality Assured Visitor Attraction assessment, reflecting a strong foundation of operational excellence and visitor satisfaction.

As we celebrate our first year of being a charity known as Colchester Zoological Society, we would like to thank everyone for their continued support. Without your help, we wouldn’t be able to help care for wildlife and wild places.

TALKING TO THE MACHINES

What some see as a threat, others see as a tool — powerful, imperfect, and shaped entirely by the hands using

it.

A“Short, vague prompts will produce generic answers, whereas clear background information and intent lead to far more useful results. The more you put in, the more you get out ”

rtificial intelligence has moved quickly from something abstract and futuristic into something many of us now use, often without realising it. From my experience as a regular user over the past three years, AI chat tools aren’t magic, and they certainly aren’t replacements for human thinking - but they can be extremely useful when approached thoughtfully.

Most people will have heard of ChatGPT, but it’s no longer the only option. Tools such as Claude, DeepSeek, Gemini and Perplexity all take slightly different approaches. Some feel more cautious, some more creative, others more factual. What they all have in common, however, is that the quality of their response depends heavily on the quality of what you give them.

click solution and more like a collaborator. Sometimes I talk to it, other times I type - both have their place. Speaking can feel more natural when thinking ideas through, while typing suits more structured tasks like writing or planning. In every case, context matters. Short, vague prompts will produce generic answers, whereas clear background information and intent lead to far more useful results. The more you put in, the more you get out.

I designed the header illustration three years ago, combining four AI-generated images into a single, cohesive final composition, and I used ChatGPT and Claude to assist with researching and writing this article.

Alistair Gillan

I feel one of the biggest misunderstandings is to think of AI chat as simply a more advanced search engine. In practice, it behaves very differently. A search engine looks for existing information; an AI chat responds to context. For example, if I upload an original artwork and ask an AI to describe it; to explain how it feels, (for experimental reasons only!) there is no answer it can possibly look up online. It has to respond to what it can see and to the way the question is framed. That interaction feels much closer to a conversation than a search.

This is why AI works best when you treat it less like a one

Another habit that’s proved valuable is asking the same question across multiple AI chats. The responses are often similar, but never identical. One might explain an idea clearly, another might phrase it more creatively, while another highlights practical considerations. Comparing those responses, or even asking for a summary of them, leads to a deeper understanding than relying on a single answer.

This mirrors how research has always worked. Consulting several sources, identifying common ground, and forming your own conclusion isn’t plagiarismit’s learning. AI simply speeds up that process. The responsibility still sits with the human using the tool: deciding what’s accurate, what’s useful, and what reflects their own voice.

From my experience, AI chat tools are best thought of as thinking partners. Used thoughtfully, they don’t replace judgement or creativity - they support it.

Mad as a March Hare

March. That confusing month when it’s supposed to be spring, yet you’re still de-icing the car with an old loyalty card while debating whether your umbrella now qualifies as a weapon or is simply structurally unsound and worn out.

As daffodils bravely push through frozen soil, I find myself wondering: are we, as Brits, actually okay? Spoiler alert: no. We’re not.

We’re a nation clinging to the edge with a soggy Rich Tea and a lukewarm cup of builder’s tea. Everyone looks exhausted. Fed up. Slightly haunted. When did we last have any genuinely good news? It’s been doom and gloom for so long that even Covid and being “Locked Down” has started to feel like nostalgic fun times.

“Ohhh, lockdown… remember how exciting that was?” we say now, fondly recalling banana bread and daily walks, because compared to this, being locked down almost feels like a treat.

Everything has become an upward battle. Take supermarkets. Once reliable bastions of British calm (think Hovis adverts and puppies wreaking havoc with the loo roll), they’ve now turned into obstacle courses of psychological warfare.

You go in for bread and bin liners and come out furious because they’ve moved everything. Again. Eggs are next to lightbulbs. Jam is with the shower gel. The fish fingers (no one knows what fish they actually contain) are hidden like the Crown Jewels.

And don’t get me started on the middle aisles. Piled high with useless junk and moody tins of paint you suddenly cannot live without — despite the fact that five minutes earlier they’d never crossed your mind. Every aisle is a scavenger hunt. I’m convinced there’s a marketing executive somewhere

laughing maniacally, saying, “Put the milk next to the flip-flops this week. See if anyone notices.”

By the time I reach the tills, I’ve aged three years. My trolley is full of random items — pliers, a ball of wool (do I look like I’m brainy enough to knit?), and a novelty egg timer. I’ve forgotten the bread, obviously, but gained three emotionally necessary packets of Custard Creams.

And the cost of living? Ha. That’s cute.

We now need a mortgage to buy butter. Two if it’s Lurpak. People no longer ask, “How are you?” They ask, “Have you turned the heating off yet?” like it’s a confession.

My radiators are now purely decorative. The dog wears a jumper. So do I. We go to bed dressed for an Antarctic expedition.

Meanwhile, the government continues its tradition of turning politics into a pantomime — except this one costs billions and nobody’s laughing. Prime Minister’s Questions has become less about questions and more about verbal dodgeball, complete with sneering and aggressive head-nodding reminiscent of those old nodding dog adverts.

I call it Wednesday Roastings. They jeer, point, and shout over one another while the rest of us try to work out how we’re supposed to afford cheese. In the old days, at least they sent “fit” gladiators out to settle scores.

Sometimes I think we’re one episode away from EastEnders taking over the Cabinet. And honestly? I’d trust Dot Cotton to sort the energy crisis more than half of them. A national treasure. She could pack a tumble dryer, argue with a neighbour, and still keep a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

If I were Prime Minister, I’d introduce some genuinely useful policies:

• Chocolate would be tax-deductible under Mental Health Relief (no palm oil, obviously).

• All supermarkets would have sat navs, with Siri guiding you calmly to the baked beans.

• Weather warnings would come with emotional support lines — especially now, “Severe Weather” seems to mean Tuesday.

• Instagram filters would be banned on politicians. We want wrinkles, pores, and reality.

• And every woman would receive an emergency Prosecco ration. For morale.

British life is exhausting. We’re expected to smile politely while queuing to pay for overpriced carrots, act surprised when it rains (again), and pretend own-brand chocolate spread is acceptable.

It’s not. It’s a cry for help in a jar.

And yet… somehow, we muddle through. With sarcasm, memes, and thermal vests. Because that’s what we do. We make jokes in the darkest times. We clap sarcastically when the train arrives on time. We still say “lovely weather” in a hailstorm.

So, here’s to March. To British madness. To baffling supermarket layouts, passiveaggressive weather, and a political circus that makes Love Island look stable.

This column is dedicated to all of us — the tea-drinking, biscuit-dunking, emotionally repressed weirdos who keep calm, carry on, and cry in supermarket car parks like national heroes.

Roll on April… when we can all officially be April Fools for a day.

Totally Tracie