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VOL. XXXVI ISSUE #24 APRIL 3, 2013
contents cover story:
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“I do not forget my radical roots; I have a tremondous amount of pride and respect in them. There needed to be someone out there raising hell in
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the streets.”
– donAciAno mArtineZ, gAy rights Activist
civil unions speciAl edition:
Columns and departments
focus 6 letter from the publisher 7 speAK out 9 neWs 10 pAnel voices 11 shoW & tell 12 out in colorAdo social 21 feAture 22 food for thought 24 high society 27 bAr tAb 29 bAr rAg 30 on the scene living 34 thrive 36 metro living 37 pArenting 40 on the scene 41 the gAy Aesthetic 44 sexuAlity 45 heinZesight
INSIDE: March 22, 2013 Civil Unions Special Edition
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At Last! Gov. Hickenlooper signed civil unions into law on March 21. Check out our special 24-page commemorative edition that chronicles the three year fight for the legislation, with photos from Pulitzer Prize winning photographer Evan Semón.
On the cover: preston dickey and donaciano martinez. Photography by Hans rosemond // www.Hansrosemond.com
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Serving the LGBT Community of the Rocky Mountains since 1976 3535 Walnut Street Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 Fax: 303-325-2642 Email: info@outfrontonline.com Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO Out Front Colorado is published by Transformation Communications Group, LLC, a Colorado limited liability corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle. Phil Price / Founder, 1954-1993 Jerry Cunningham / Publisher Email: Jerry@outfrontonline.com J.C. McDonald / Vice President / Director of Circulation Email: JC@outfrontonline.com Nic Garcia / Associate Publisher Email: Nic@outfrontonline.com Jeff Jackson Swaim / Chief Strategist Email: Jeff@outfrontonline.com
ED ITORI AL Holly Hatch / Editor-in-Chief Email: Holly@outfrontonline.com Matthew Pizzuti / Junior Editor Email: Matt@outfrontonline.com kristin ziegler, ALEX MEYER // Editorial interns Contributing Writers: Brent Heinze, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, Scott McGlothlen, Jeff Steen, Josiah Hesse, Gary Kramer, Mike Yost, Ashley Trego, Nuclia Waste, David Marlowe, Jonathan McGrew, Chris Azzopardi, Shanna Katz, Noelle Leavitt Riley, Amy Lynn O’Connell, Kristin Ziegler, Steve Cruz, Jasmine Peters, Lauren Archuletta.
ART Sara Decker / Creative Director Email: Sara@outfrontonline.com DENEE PINO / Production Assistant Charles Broshous / Photographer
MAR KET IN G / SALES jordan jacobs / Marketing Executive Email: Jordan@outfrontonline.com SAGE GREY / Marketing Executive Email: Sage@outfrontonline.com DAWN HARTBARGER / Marketing Executive Email: Dawn@outfrontonline.com
DISTRIBUTION: Out Front Colorado’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front Colorado may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front Colorado offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front Colorado is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front Colorado, take more than one copy of Out Front Colorado. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution. COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY: Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT COLORADO, its staff or advertisers.
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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FROM THE PUBLISHER
37 years thanks to our community, partners and allies
Nic Garcia
CONNECT WITH NIC
Reach associate publisher Nic Garcia by email at Nic@Out FrontOnline.com
Every Tuesday at 3:30 p.m., Out Front’s staff gathers around a long conference table for our weekly staff meeting. Before we dive into the issues at hand, we go around the table and “check in” to express what kind of mental state we’re bringing to the meeting. Think: Facebook status update. Responses generally range from “I’m good,” to “I’m a little anxious,” to “I’m ready to jump off a cliff.” Thankfully, there are fewer and fewer updates of the latter variety. About halfway around the table, Out Front’s newest sales executive Dawn Hartbarger reported she had some good meetings with potential advertisers that day – until the last one. Her voice cracked. “The ignorance of some people...” she began to tear up. “I don’t know how you all do it.” Dawn, on her way into the office, stopped by a former associate’s office and shared she was now working with Out Front and suggested he advertise his real estate business here, she explained. The businessman looked her in the eye and said, “I would never associate with that lifestyle.” Dawn is straight, and is in fact the only straight full-time employee at Out Front. One of the attributes that made Dawn such an attractive candidate to join our now 37-year-old institution was her passionate support for the LGBT community. “I’ve had to overcome a lot,” she said. “But I’ve never had to deal with this. How can someone judge you all just for who you are, who you love?” The room fell silent. How did she respond? “I realized despite the fact that I had my arguments, my statistics, my research – that he wasn’t worth my next breath,” Dawn, who has a self-proclaimed ornery streak, told the rest of our staff. She said she fought to keep it professional, thanked him for his time and excused herself. The fact of the matter is, every LGBT person has
to wake up with every morning with the fact that, no matter how many rights and responsibilities we secure, no matter how equal we are in the eyes of the law, no matter how much love and support we know is out there, there will always be members of our society who view us as “less than,” as subversive. Yes, the numbers of our detractors grow fewer, thanks largely to the years –decades – of activism from community members like Donanciano Martinez and Preston Dickey who we profile in this issue with 40 years of LGBT activism in Denver. The type of homophobic incidents Dawn experienced on her sales call are few and far between. In fact, since I began at Out Front two years ago, this is first I’ve ever heard of such an argument as why not to be a brand partner with our establishment. In journalism school you’re taught a news organization is a slave to two masters – its readers, and its advertisers. Some would say you can’t serve both. Luckily for Out Front, we’re blessed with the best masters on both sides. Our readers and our marketing partners are the true testament to why the news magazine you hold in your hands, the Facebook statues you “like” and the Tweets you scan on your smartphone are, as of April 2, 2013, a 37-year success. Without our marketing partners Out Front would have never been able to provide you the top notch coverage of the Colorado Civil Union Act’s passage. And we’d never have been able to chronicle our community’s activism for 37 years. While we celebrate our institution and our community’s past and future in our anniversary issue, I can’t help to celebrate the businesses who have supported Out Front all these years. After all, it’s because of their partnership that we can guarantee, in the words of our founder Phil Price: “there’s no turning back!” ]
ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS:
Be it by accident or by design, Kristin Ziegler has dedicated her life to screens. When not in front of her laptop screen, researching for class assignments or writing articles for Out Front, Kristin is likely spending time with her iPhone, iPod, and calorie-counting gym equipment screens. Her favorite screen, however, is the big one. A lifelong film enthusiast and recovering art school snob, Kristin is thrilled to combine her interests in high culture and LGBTQ issues for her contributions to Out Front. Read Kristin’s editorials online at OutFrontOnline.com/outnow. and on pages 15 and 29.
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If we learned anything from Dawn’s experience it’s that we need to support those who support us. To produce our special edition on the Colorado Civil Union Act, Out Front reached out to a number of wedding industry experts for support. Their messages, along with our coverage, are re-printed in this anniversary issue. To view a full list and for more information please visit ofcnow.co/tzers.
c Publisher’s Wild Card Pick
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Colfax holds many great eateries and watering holes, but none quite as unique and innovative as the three–in–one bar, pizza joint, part breakfast nook tucked stylishly into one location on the corner of Adams Street and Colfax: Atomic Cowboy, Fat Sully’s and the Denver Biscuit Company. JC and I ventured in on what we would expect to be a slower Tuesday night. Wrong. The joint was quite lively. After a short wait, we were seated at what I would call the “bar’s nest,” a long spacious area above the bar – a perfect vantage point to experience it all. After enjoying a pizza from Fat Sully’s and a beer from one of the dozens to choose from at the Atomic Cowboy bar, the General Manager, Jake Riederer invited us back for
APRIL 3, 2013 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM
breakfast that weekend. Yum! The Denver Biscuit Company serves up a smorgasbord of breakfast selections, all anchored with one of their signature biscuits. This three–in–one hole–in–one is a must–do for all za’ beer and homemade biscuit lovers. Be sure to ask for Jake and say that Out Front highly recommends them. ] – Jerry Cunningham, publisher/owner Atomic Cowboy / Fat Sully’s / The Denver Biscuit Co. is located at 3237 E. Colfax Ave. ^ For more info, visit AtomicCowboy.net or call 303-377-7900. The restaurant is open daily from 11 a.m. till 2 a.m.
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Hans Rosemond has been an active magazine and portrait photographer for the last seven years. He enjoys all things movies, from The Lord of the Rings to Dumb and Dumber. The only thing better than a good movie is making the subjects in front of his lens look and feel like a rock star. Hans is especially excited to see the ongoing struggle for marriage equality finally making progress. See more at www.HansRosemond.com. Hans’ photography is on the cover of this issue, and inside on page 18.
SPEAK OUT
A volunteer ally: Taking a stand, being outspoken and standing up for equality
Sarah April
Sarah April is the political and community outreach co-chair for the Human Rights Campaign. If interested in volunteering, email to Volunteers@HRCColorado.org.
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I remember thinking I would never be one of those people who would stand idly by while I knew injustice was occurring – whether against me or against my neighbor.
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Why do I volunteer for HRC? Not because I am gay. Not because my brother or my mother or my best friend is gay. It’s because I cannot live in a country that is supposed to be based on freedom, yet continues to demoralize and punish those who are “different” such as our neighbors, our friends, our colleagues, our family members, or maybe just a friendly stranger passing by. I remember reading Martin Luther King Jr.’s, “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” and being inspired by his words where he stated he could not sit idly by and “not be concerned about what happens in Birmingham … freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.” What stood out to me more than his own rationale for fighting for equality was his disappointment in the white, religious leadership who lacked the moral concern and understanding expected of them. I knew I would never be one of those people who stood idly by while I knew injustice was occurring – whether against me or my neighbor. I am not alone in my admiration of MLK. Yet in 2012, the majority of our country continues to persecute and disenfranchise so many. Have people forgotten MLK’s wisdom that “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere?” Why are two people in love not allowed to marry? How does being in a same-sex relationship affect a heterosexual couple’s marriage? Why do people bully and beat up gay youth simply because they are different? When people try to change social stigmas, overcome inequalities in the workplace, protect our youth, and change marriage laws, there is a strong and immediate “moral backlash,” like we saw from the extreme religious right along with Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty refusing to allow the Civil Unions bill to come to a floor vote last year. It is with MLK’s legacy in mind – not just his personal determination to fight injustice, but also his disappointment in those he hoped would stand with him – that I have chosen to volunteer with HRC. I have chosen to take a stand and be outspoken about an issue because it is right, and because without support from an entire community, not just the gay community, change could not happen. The Human Rights Campaign has given me an outlet to take this stand. HRC is committed to overcoming inequality through policy change, leadership, community involvement, and diversity work. Also, HRC’s positioning as a national organization allows its influence to be far-reaching, and its leadership, I believe, will eventually be instrumental in a change at the highest level – the Supreme Court. This is why I volunteer with HRC – because I want to be part of a change not let apathy or inaction on my part affect the rights of anyone else. I am proud to be part of this organization that is making an impact on a daily basis. ]
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Your HIGHLANDS real estate LGBT specialist MICHAEL MADSEN 303 726 1543 M i c h a e l @ UrbanLegendary.com
URBAN HOMES. LEGENDARY SERVICE.
APRIL 3, 2013 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM
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FYI
Santa Fe goes it alone: Mayor, advisers, declare same-sex marriage legal in the state By Kristin Ziegler
New Colo. regulatory rule bans LGBT discrimination in health coverage e A March 25 bulletin posted by the state’s top regulatory agency for health insurance announced that lesbian, gay and transgender Coloradans with health coverage must receive equal treatment under their plans, promising access to dozens of services and procedures that were previously in doubt. The Colorado Division of Insurance document interprets existing Colorado laws regarding health insurance and nondiscrimination stating that discrimination in health coverage based on sexual orientation and transgender status is prohibited. That means that transgender Coloradans cannot be charged more for health
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insurance, being trans cannot be considered a preexisting condition, and any procedure or treatment must be covered for transition-related care under an insurance plan that covers the same treatments for other conditions. “One of the biggest pieces of that is denial of care to transgender people,” said Brad Clark, Executive Director of statewide LGBT advocacy organization One Colorado which helped push for the new rule. “This is probably one of the greatest health care policy victories we’ve seen in the short-term.” ]
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Read the rest of this story >> ofcnow.co/Rjr
APRIL 3, 2013 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM
David Coss
^ Read more >> ofcnow.co/7JR
Santa Fe Mayor David Coss declared March 19 that same-sex marriage is legal in New Mexico, issuing a resolution with the blessing of the city attorney and members of City Council citing the fact that no state laws specify marriage as limited to opposite-sex couples. Coss gave local clerks a go–ahead to begin issuing marriage licenses accordingly. “Santa Fe is ready. New Mexico is ready, I know,” Coss said in a press conference. “Our country is ready to move on this,” said Coss during another press conference after unveiling his resolution. ]
‘Papers before you potty’
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Bill in Arizona would criminalize using public restrooms for trans people >> ofcnow.co/qTR
Another one bites the dust
Last month the Boy Scouts’ ban on gays cost the organization support from ‘Call Me Maybe’ singer Carly Rae Jepsen. Now Denver-based restaurant chain Chipotle Mexican Grill has pulled support. More >> http://ofcnow.co/LUV
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NEWS
Civil unions 101 Law will broaden property rights for LGBT couples Though same-sex marriage is still banned by Amendment 43 of the Colorado Constitution, the Colorado Civil Union Act grants many of the same property ownership rights that heterosexual married couples enjoy, with a few notable exceptions. “The LGBT community is now going to have the ability to have a relationship they can end with a divorce,” said Brandon C. McDaniel, an attorney who works with LGBT couples in estate planning and property ownership. “That’s a major change.” In Colorado, the property of married heterosexual couples is deemed marital property and divided among the couple by the courts when a divorce occurs. This was not an option for same-sex couples, even with designated beneficiaries. Civil unions include this important distinction for LGBT couples should they file for dissolution. “Under the new law, if they [a LGBT couple] purchase a house during the course of a civil union, even if it’s titled in one person’s name, that house is now likely to become part of this union property.” McDaniel added he’s worried couples who enter a civil union might not realize some of the property laws parallel those of married heterosexual couples. “I would advise people that if they are considering a civil union, that’s great. Go for it. But thoroughly consider the legal obligations that you’re creating when you do this.” The Colorado Civil Union Act also grants inheritance rights for couples who, before civil unions, had to undergo the complicated legal process of establishing a trust, a will, or entering a designated beneficiaries agreement. Under Colorado law, the institution of marriage creates innate assumptions concerning inheritance, meaning the spouse in a marriage will automatically inherit the estate upon the death of the husband or the wife. “But now, for those couples who do pursue civil unions,” McDaniel said, “they are going to have those extra assumptions in their favor. They will be treated as a spouse under the inheritance laws of the state.” A third benefit the civil unions law grants regarding property rights is the homestead exemption, which specifies that an explicit value on your home cannot be seized by a creditor. “Under
BY MICHAEL YOST
the Colorado Civil Union Act,” McDaniel explained, “you’ll now be able to pass on your homestead exemption onto your partner in the union.” Despite the progress made regarding rights in property ownership, McDaniel outlined a number of caveats concerning federal taxes and inheritance. “Under federal law, because of the Defense of Marriage Act, you’re still going to be subject to what we call the gift tax.” An individual in a heterosexual marriage can receive a gift from the spouse for an unlimited amount, tax free. For same-sex couples, regardless if they are part of a civil union or a staterecognized marriage, this exemption is unavailable. In addition, if one partner of a civil union dies, a federal estate tax would be applied on the transfer of the property to the spouse if the value is more than $5 million. This would not be the case with married couples. The only way same-sex couples can be exempt from the gift or estate tax is if DOMA is repealed. The U.S. Supreme Court hearf arguments against DOMA late March, in the case United States v. Windsor. A decision is expected in June. McDaniel emphasized how critical it is for couples to educate themselves on the legal ramifications should they decide to enter into a civil union. “Have an honest talk about your finances, about your property ownership, about your debt,” said McDaniel. “And get to know one another financially, because too few couples have this conversation before commitment. It creates a lot of problems for people down the road.” Couples will be able to get a civil union certificate issued by county clerk and recorder Deborah Johnson starting May 1. ]
For updated news coverage visit OutFrontOnline.com/outnow
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PANEL VOICES
Q:
Karl Wesley is a 28-year old gay resident of Denver who was named Mr. CGRA in 2013, and continues to be active in the Colorado Gay Rodeo Association. Wesley is the manager at the country bar, Charlie’s, and works to strive toward a more tolerant, educated and accepting future for the LGBT community.
Shanida Lawya is an activist, volunteer and entertainer in Denver. Follow Shanida on twitter @Shanida.
I believe the answer depends on what is to be accomplished. If it deals with laws and statutes, then the political system is the way to go. If it deals with philosophical issues or policy, there are many parallel tracks to travel. In the USA, it is difficult to make changes outside the political system. Thus, there exist the Log Cabin Republicans, the Stonewall Democrats, and the Outright Libertarians to counsel lawmakers at all levels of government on LGBT and other issues. Additionally, the courts and the executive branch’s privilege of executive order make for a wide range of influences and accomplishments. Concurrently, there are many parallel paths to assist with the message. Among them are the print and broadcast media, the church, the educational system, social media and the blogosphere, and non-profits (such as the HRC, the Task Force, and One Colorado). Everything is better in a transparent world where we can see the gears of the government making the decisions. When we step outside the legislative, executive, and judicial branches of government, we enter a world where transparency is not commonplace. The parallel paths listed in the previous paragraph often resort to misrepresentation of the facts, half truths, and downright lies. Governments exist to serve the people. How they operate differs widely from place-to-place, but we are always best served from open, honest government operating in the most transparent manner possible. ] George K. Gramer, Jr.
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Politics seem to be an inescapable subject matter in our country, let alone within the GLBT community. It is always important to be aware of what is going on in the political system, but to also ensure that it does not consume our everyday lives. I am a Republican, but I do not allow that to be the basis of every decision I make, political or otherwise. It is simply a personal preference. If we, as a community, become consumed with working solely in the system, we forfeit our ability to think beyond those boundaries. If we choose to remain outside the system, we allow ourselves to remain unaware of important issues that concern the GLBT community. Overall, it is about the balance between the two. ] Karl Wesley
Roger Sherman is the chief operating officer at a Denver-based public affairs firm where he focuses on developing public engagement, outreach and communication strategies. Sherman was named to Out Front Colorado’s 2012 Power List.
The Supreme Court recently heard Proposition 8 and DOMA arguments for the first time. We would not even be at this moment if it hadn’t been for all those that came before us then and those of us now trying to achieve full equality. It takes the conjoined effort of many. I wasn’t alive during President Kennedy’s famous speech calling for activism to make a better tomorrow but those words have always inspired me to give back and make a difference. That is why it is crucial for our community leaders, organizations like the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Matthew Shepard Foundation, the International Court System, the International Gay Rodeo Association and so forth to work together with our congress, our senators and other political organizations like One Colorado and the ACLU. It’s also crucial to be a part of these organizations by supporting their events as they are helping to move our community forward. The point is this, you don’t have to be or become a political person to help make a difference; you have to believe and support your dream. It shouldn’t be about working outside or becoming part of it, it should just be about getting the job done regardless! We are in a time where America’s moment to truly shine and be an example to other world leaders in progressing the view on human rights, is now. We need everyone’s support so that we can truly become a nation with liberty and justice for all. ] Shanida Lawya
Roger Sherman
In Saul Alinsky’s defining work, “Rules for Radicals,” one of his major themes was the importance of working with the world as it “is” to turn it into the world as “it should be.” He asserted radical change must be brought about by working within a system instead of attacking it from the outside. This theory applies – in fact, has applied for decades – to the GLBT movement. How? It’s really quite simple. The one action that has been more effective than any other strategy in the GLBT movement: coming out. In 1978, Harvey Milk declared “Gay brothers and sisters...You must come out. Come out... I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth!” Coming out was a political act as much as it was a personal one. By coming out, gays and lesbians have become a part of the political system, and slowly but surely profound changes in popular opinion will have translated into laws that are altering the political direction of our state and nation. The theory that families with gay and lesbian members would be less inclined to attack LGBT folks politically has proven to be true. In this case, being “out” is really being “in.” ]
Are we better off working outside the political system or becoming part of it?
Iowa native George K. Gramer, Jr. is the president of the Colorado Log Cabin Republicans.
Interested in becoming one of the voices on Out Front’s panel? Contact Holly Hatch by email at Holly@outfrontonline.com or call (303) 477.4000 ext. 711 to be considered!
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april 3 , 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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show & tell
Sometimes you just gotta show off!
A romantic affair Denver lesbians get engaged On Saturday, March 23, local Denver lesbian Kristin Altendorf, a paramedic, proposed to her girlfriend Lexi Van Otten, a chef at Whole Foods. Kristin planned the engagement during an intimate surprise birthday party for Lexi. Kristin proposed on the rooftop of their Denver apartment, decorated with white lights and candles. The moment was magical, according to Kristin. It was snowing lightly, and the flakes sparkled in the candlelight. The emotional moment left Lexi with what Kristin described as a look of surprise and joy. Kristin told Lexi, down on one knee, that she had called her parents to get their blessing, which Lexi’s dad granted. Lexi said “yes” minutes before the the couple celebrated with close friends and champagne toasts. Kristin and Lexi met by what the couple refers to as “chance.” The two met through mutual friends and mingling at a local lesbian hangout, Blush & Blu.
The bar owner told Kristin that there were some ladies upstairs in the loft playing pool, if she wanted to go mingle. “I had no idea that what she said would change my life. When I got upstairs, my friend and I found Lexi and her friend playing pool. After a few games, and some flirting, and the instant chemistry between the two of us, we spent the rest of the night together,” Kristin reminisced. “They say that no person and no relationship is perfect, but I truly believe that Kristin and I are ‘imperfectly perfect’ together,” Lexi said. Although the two are contemplating getting a civil union in Colorado, the couple has also discussed plans to travel to Seattle (the city where the two share a favorite football team) to get a marriage license. The couple loves venturing outdoors, attending sporting events – especially hockey and baseball – and hanging out with friends. ]
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t Submit pet stories and pix, wedding announcements, adoptions, births, funny stories or anything that has you beaming with pride – for our SHOW AND TELL section. Email a query, digital image or 50-250 word write-up to holly@ outfrontonline.com with “SHOW AND TELL” in the subject line, and we’ll consider putting your announcement in print!
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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Out in colorado
Imperial Court marks 40 years with April pageant By Kristin Ziegler
Clockwise from top left: Reign 39, Reign 1, Reign 2, Reign 38
The annual Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire coronation pageant, April 18-21, is one of Denver’s most hotly anticipated drag events each year – for the last 40 years! Founded in 1973, ICRME is one of 65 chapters within the International Court System, an organization that has been celebrating the LGBTQ community and art of drag in the US, Canada, and Mexico since 1965. Each chapter is ruled by a local Emperor and Empress, with 2012‘s Emperor XXXIX (39) Ken Bazan and Empress XXXIX Martini Monroe currently reigning over Denver. Emperor Bazan and Empress Monroe are expected to hang up their own crowns and impart their titles upon two new deserving Monarchs in an annual ceremony. Coronation 40 is expected to be the organization’s most fabulous yet! They will be celebrating 40 years this year during the weekend of April 18-21, said Sydney Andrews, a beloved Denver drag queen and ICRME’s XXIII Empress. “Many courts travel to Denver’s coronation and the evening will be full of pomp and circumstance, greeting walks of the monarchs and introductions of other realm Courts, and lots of entertainment!” There are two contestants in the running for
Empress, and one for Emperor. All three contestants will be performing in the pageant, alongside previous winners, known as “The College of Monarchs.” “It is a highly decorated and lively event,” Andrews said. But while ICRME, which includes a host of Denver drag and performance icons such as Nina Montaldo, Jackie Summers, and Michael Vrooman, in addition to Sydney Andrews, lives for the glitz and glamour of a great coronation, the organization represents so much more than glitter, wigs, and rouge. ICRME is passionate about staying active in the Denver community year-round, raising money for LGBTQ non-profits like the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the Matthew Shepard Foundation. This is what Andrews is most passionate about, stating that “each reign raises countless funds for charities, anywhere from $20,000 upwards to $100,000 a year.” In addition to Saturday, April 20th’s main event, Coronation 40: A Royal Affair, ICRME will be hosting a full weekend of events. Beer busts, brunches, and drag shows will be held at the Renaissance Hotel and Boyztown. ]
^ For more information on ICRME, tickets to
upcoming events, and Coronation voting day (April 13), please visit DenverCourt.org.
HRC welcomes new leader, set to honor 3 Karla Rikansrud
By Nic Garcia In 1974 Karla Rikansrud was charged with criminal trespassing. Nearly 40 years later she’s being honored with one of LGBT Denver’s most prestigious recognition: the Paul Hunter Service Award from the Human Rights Campaign. Then a student at the University of Colorado, Rikansrud and her date, Peggy Price, Peggy’s younger brother Phil Price (Out Front’s founder) and his date, were out on the town dancing. When manage-
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ment learned the co-ed group’s sexual orientations, the four were asked to leave. They didn’t. “We wanted to finish our drinks,” Rikansrud said. It wasn’t that act of civil disobedience that earned Rikansrud the Hunter award. Nor was it the moment that sparked the decades of activism she is being recognized for. “In those days there was repeated reminders of homophobia,” she said. Almost as often as the red and pink dyed HRC logo popping up on Facebook. But her arrest is one example of something almost no LGBT person has to experience today because of the Rikansrud’s involvement in the advancement of equal rights. Rikansrud will receive her award April 20 at the HRC’s Mile High Gala at the Grand Hyatt Regency Hotel. “When I heard (I was being honored), I had to pause and look back – and I realized, wow, I did do this.” Among Rikansrud contributions to Colorado’s LGBT community: she was a founding member of AT&T’s gay and lesbian employee recourse organization – the fourth in the entire nation – worked with the City of Boulder in response to Amendment 2 passing, sat on HRC’s
april 3 , 2013 | outfrontonline.com
National Board of Directors, and has raised countless dollars for LGBT and progressive organizations. In 2010 Rikansrud joined the Gill Foundation and serves as the director of allies and institutions. She works with organizations in the black and Latino communities. She also oversees OnBoard, a program of the Foundation that helps LGBT people and their allies on boards of nonprofits. “There are people who just assume – and their confidence is great – they just come out and ask ‘what’s the big deal?’ – but it took a lot of hard work to make that happen,” she said. And while the nation has come along way in the 40 years since Rikansrud’s arrest, she’ll be the first to tell, the work isn’t over. “The gift that keeps on giving is coming out,” she said. Carrying on Rikansrud’s tradition are fellow award recipients are A.J. Bridgewater, a Colorado Springs 20-year-old gay man, and Matara Liebow, a 17-yearold Fort Collins woman. Bridgewater donates his time and resources to the community who helped him overcome homelessness after he was kicked out of his home for being gay. He founded Inside/Out Youth Services. “My new family helped me get back
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up when I was down,” he said. “We have to look out for our community. A lot of people in Colorado Springs still don’t understand. There’s still a lot of work to do in our schools.” Liebow, who will attend Colorado State University in the fall became president of her high school’s Gay Straight Alliance and now leads a nationwide council of youth for the steering committee for the National Association of GSA Networks. “GSAs are required and essential,” she said. “They create a safe place for students. It’s important to know they’re not alone. You can be going through a lot, but there are people who are going to judge you.” The dinner will also mark HRC chief Chad Griffin’s first visit to the Mile High City since he joined the Washington D.C.based nonprofit. “Chad will be giving a keynote speech at the Gala sharing with attendees the most current information on the Prop 8 and DOMA cases in front of the Supreme Court,” said Hank Provost, HRC Colorado’s captain. ] IF YOU GO HRC’s Mile High Gala 5:30 p.m., April 20 Grand Hyatt Denver For tickets go to MileHighGala.org
Civil unions resource page
2013
out in colorado
PL AT I N U M SP ONS OR
Colorado’s largest LGBT advocacy organization, One Colorado, recently launched a civil unions resource page. The user-friendly page includes a wealth of information about the recently passed civil unions legislation, including a copy of the final Senate bill, and tips for those planning on utilizing these new protections. Also included is a phone number for legal advice in the event a couple faces any obstacles in trying to obtain a civil unions license. Check it out here >> ofcnow.co/MJH
Civil unions 101 course at The Center
G OL D SP ONS OR
WE CORDIALLY INVITE YOU TO CELEBRATE OUR ACHIEVEMENTS AND RECOGNIZE MEMBERS OF OUR COMMUNITY. BECAUSE WITHOUT YOUR EFFORTS, OUR SUCCESSES WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE.
SATURDAY, APRIL 20TH GRAND HYATT DENVER RECEPTION AT 5:30PM PROGRAM AT 7:00PM PURCHASE TICKETS AT WWW.MILEHIGHGALA.COM FEATURED KEYNOTE SPEAKERS
Trainings are being offered through The Center to help answer all of your questions about civil unions. Topics include: Who can enter into a civil union? What to consider when entering a civil union? Which areas of law are covered under a civil union and more! More info on the schedule of the series at glbtcolorado.org.
HRC PRESIDENT CHAD GRIFFIN
PAUL HUNTER AWARD WINNER KARLA RIKANSRUD
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april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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Stay connected
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900 East Colfax denver colorado www.charliesdenver.com 303 839 8890 14
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
out in colorado
Fetish on a mission:
A new Colorado groups seeks to raise money through ‘Dark Expo’ By Kristin Ziegler An event name like the Colorado Dark Expo (or CoDE-13) conjures up images of something macabre, something spooky, something wild, and perhaps even something kinky. And while these assumptions are all correct, as CoDE-13 promises to be a devilishly good time, the production company behind the event hopes to become associated with one more adjective – philanthropic. CoDE-13 is the latest effort of new production company Lokusdor Productions. Lokusdor aims to organize showcases of the best in dark, devious, and often erotic music, art, fashion, and dance. Though the group only officially formed this year, its organizers were behind last Summer’s munificently attended Exile Fetish Ball. But Lokusdor is more than the latex, bondage, and industrial beats of it all. The company hopes to become a valuable resource in fundraising for Colorado LGBTQ causes. Lokusdor Productions was created as an event production company with proceeds benefiting non-profit organizations providing services, programming, and advocacy for communities in need, said founder Brent Heinze, whose fundrais-
ing efforts have already been invaluable to the Colorado LGBTQ community for many years. Heinze noted that the Exile Fetish Ball raised more than $8,000 for various local charitable projects. He attributes the event’s fundraising success to Lokusdor’s attempts to keep their events accessible. The company does not ask for additional donations, but relies solely upon the money made from tickets sold for each festival, event, or party. The company tries to keep event prices as low as possible to attract as many guests as they can. It helps that Lokusdor is connected with a vast scene of creative and talented artists who share the group’s altruistic vision. “[A]ll performers and support staff at these events have volunteered their time, talents, creativity, and energy to keep costs down and allow for larger donations,” Heinze said. Many Lokusdor events also welcome ages 18 and up, further helping to procure generous
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funds for benefitting non-profits. The upcoming CoDE-13 is 18 and up, which seems appropriate, as Lokusdor has selected four LGBTQ youth organizations as the recipients of the evening’s ticket sales. These include Urban Peak (Denver and Colorado Springs), Rainbow Alley (Denver), Inside Out Youth Services (Colorado Springs), and Denver PIQUE (Denver). The hog–tie–not–black–tie affair will be held at Tracks Nightclub on Sunday, April 28, and will “celebrate the surreal, dark, twisted, and eccentric side of music, art, and life,” Heinze said. Featuring live music, DJs, artists, local designers, performance art, food, vendors and dancing, the hair-raising, skin-crawling, creep-o-licious CoDE-13 is a not–to– be–missed night out! ]
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For more information or tickets for CoDE-13, please visit LokusdorProductions.com/code-13.
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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Gal on the move
I’ll party for a good cause
Robyn VieCarpenter
^ Email Robyn at
GoddessOfJoy1@ gmail.com. For more Robyn, visit ofcnow.co/FQv.
‘
... what is your thing? What are you doing to raise money and/ or awareness? Yep, I said it. These events are created to raise money and awareness. If you’re not attending them, are you doing something else?
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Parties are not only fun, but often are for the benefit of the community. There are so many amazing events from poker tournaments, drag king and queen shows, brunches, dinners, comedy shows, walk-a-thons, fashion shows, you name it someone is hosting an event to raise money. Being Denver’s Lesbian Socialite, I go to as many events as I possibly can. I spend a lot of time talking about a lot more of them. There are so many incredible organizations doing truly wonderful work in our community and they are also throwing some of the best parties around. I was thinking about The GLBT Center’s Jokers, Jewels and Justice benefit and fundraiser event. This is, hands–down, one of my favorite events of the year. Why? It’s the name. It sounds like you’ll have fun, look good and be a good person, just by going to a party. It’s a great event and a lot of my favorite people are always in attendance, honoring the work of some other incredible people. And, it’s a lesbian socialite’s dream when I hear fantastic bits and pieces of conversations. One of the best lines I’ve ever heard was uttered while I was standing in line near the bar at last year’s benefit: “I buy better shoes when I’m single.” One of the reasons I enjoy attending these kinds of events is everyone puts effort into looking good. And if nothing else, we gays love to look at good–looking people. At JJJ last year I also won some great stuff in the silent auction. Plus, it’s a casino night. My wusband has taught me the joys of the casino. And gambling in an evening gown is just
more elegant. I’ve always wanted to gamble in Monte Carlo. It looks so glamorous in movies with people like Cary Grant and Grace Kelly playing roulette. JJJ is like Denver’s version of Monte Carlo. Conversations sparkle with laughter and pithy remarks. People are silently and not so silently bidding on donated items. At some events I’ve seen this bidding really heat up, all in the name of charity. My favorite thing is when people end up paying more than retail value for an auction item, but people don’t mind, it is, afterall in the name of a “good cause.” I know, for some people, these events aren’t their thing. That’s OK; my question to you is now: what is your thing? What are you doing to raise money and/or awareness? Yep, I said it. These events are created to raise money and awareness. If you’re not attending them, are you doing something else? As members of a community, it is our responsibility to take care of one another. For some this means dedicating their life to working directly with the people that need help. For others, it means writing a check to their favorite charity and getting a “thank you” tote bag. And for other folks still, it means putting on an evening gown or a tuxedo and buying tickets. Each doing their part as it suits them. So, I am going to challenge you: This year find an organization that you believe in, and participate in creating awareness for that cause. There are endless events that raise awareness our community. What will you do? ]
Bleed liKe me
A rapid moment CONTINUED FROM OUT FRONT’S MARCH 20 ISSUE. READ PART 1 ONLINE AT ^ OFCNOW.CO/FO
Scott McGlothlen
^ Email Scott at BleedLikeScott@ gmail.com. For more Scott, visit ofcnow.co/aI9.
For the Denver Swim Club HIV testing schedule, visit DenverSwim Club.com or call (303) 322.4023. For the Midtowne Spa HIV testing times, visit ofcnow.co/fzr or call (303) 458.8902.
The bathhouse and a local clinic had contracted with each other to do on-site STD testing. A person could get a little reassurance with the fun. One night while frequenting one of Denver’s clubs, I ran into the ponytailed man who conducted my very first bathhouse screening. I liked the guy – he had made me feel like I was doing the community a favor by getting tested. I decided to take it as a sign and go again. Once again, as I sat in my towel in the little bathhouse room, the ponytailed tester pricked my finger and quizzed me about my sex life while waiting for the rapid test’s results. Like always, I felt confident despite a needle of anxiety asking: What if? When the tester announced that it was time to reveal the test, my stomach turned. Lifting up the plastic cover, he stopped. He didn’t look up with a smile like he had the last time. I suddenly felt suffocated. “OK,” he said, “there is a faint line showing up which just means the test is showing something.” He must know this routine well. “This doesn’t necessarily mean you have HIV. These rapid tests are built to be sensitive, and react to several kinds of antibodies. ‘False positives’ happen a lot.” He had asked me if I had been sick at all recently. My ears perked – if this rapid test was built to be sensitive, then perhaps it sensed the wrong infection. I had, in fact, had some weird flu just a month earlier, in the middle of summer. As I explained my off-season flu to him, the tester’s logic didn’t follow mine. “I am not going to sugar coat this,” he said. “Flu–like
symptoms can be a sign of HIV infection. You are still probably fine, this really could be a false-positive, but we should draw more blood to make sure.” This time he stuck an actual needle in my vein to get a vile of blood. I could not believe this was happening. I was a good boy who grew up in the suburbs. I almost always used condoms. I couldn’t have HIV. I didn’t know why, but I knew that I just couldn’t. The ponytailed tester said that it would take two weeks to get the results back from the new blood test. That sounded like a long time to wait. My mind was spinning. It no longer felt funny to wear nothing but a towel while getting tested. The second we wrapped things up, I bolted towards my locker as fast as I could. Trying to get my clothes on and get out, a handsome man came in the locker room and began to flirt. It was no longer the time or the place for such things. I made my way for the exit, hurried through and got in my car. The stereo came on and I immediately turned it off. I didn’t want to remember the first song playing after finding out that I could actually be HIV positive. Did the tester really say it would take two weeks to find out? How? Would someone call me or did I need an appointment? I struggled to remember anything that just happened. It didn’t matter whether I’d been at the bathhouse or some clinic; not even a Buddhist monk could wait two weeks to find out if he had HIV. And it would still feel like months before I’d get my actual answer. ]
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See what happened next at ofcnow.co/VHL.
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FROM 1973 TO TODAY 40 YEARS OF
LGBT ACTIVISM
IN COLORADO
By Holly Hatch and Matthew Pizzuti
Photo by Hans Rosemond
T
his publication – founded in 1976 and 37 years old this month – was just a twinkle in founder Phil Price’s eye when the birth pangs of our Colorado community sounded out 40 years ago, in October 1973. Jerry Gerash’s name should ring familiar to those who know Colorado’s LGBT history. Gerash was part of a small group of activists who founded the Gay Coalition of Denver in 1972 in his Denver apartment. Most people in the city’s lesbian and gay scene were still not out at that time. Socializing discreetly then in Denver’s low-profile gay bars and meeting places was a risk; undercover police officers frequented the spots where they’d proposition gay men, arresting them under the city’s vice ordinances if they accepted. Continuous arrests of gay men and lesbians on obscure or trumped-up charges, with the shame and embarrassment of being outed that way, led to 1973’s dramatic breaking point. “300 came out of their closets and overflowed the Denver City Council Chambers on Oct. 23, 1973 for a public hearing to review the city’s criminal laws,” Gerash said in a description of his documentary Gay Revolt at Denver City Council Oct. 23, 1973. The meeting dragged on for hours as 36 outspoken lesbian and gay activists stood to express their frustrations, and their humanity. Some council members were sympathetic, others were not, but at the end of the meeting they voted to repeal four anti-gay laws, Gerash said. The time was ripe for it: The social change of the 1960s, culminating in the 1969 Stonewall Riots in New York City, sparked a new sense of power
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On JUNE 28, 1969, patrons of the Stonewall Inn – a New York City gay bar – resisted a police raid in what came to be seen as the birth of the modern gay rights movement. At the time, simply being openly gay could be considered an act of civil disobedience: lesbians and gays were often arrested for being out in public, and gay bars’ liquor licenses were revoked, making the establishments illegal. When police raided Stonewall, its working-class gay and transgender
one of the few known images of the stonewall riots.
patrons – many of whom were teenagers and some homeless – began a two-day riot, gaining the upper hand against police. News of the event sparked the Gay Liberation Movement. 1969 – Immediately after the Stonewall Riots, the Gay Liberation Front is founded. JUNE 28, 1970 – The Christopher Street Liberation Day March in New York City marks the first anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.
OCT. 23, 1973 – The Denver Gay Revolt w An open and organized Denver gay community was born in October 1973 when community members flooded a Denver City Council meeting fighting against the city’s “vice” ordinances that had led to the arrest and jailing of hundreds of gays and lesbians for flirting or socializing in public. Just one year after a small group of activists founded the Gay Coalition of Denver, 36 lesbian and gay speakers arrived at the Denver City and County Building to make their case to City Council, while hundreds more – many of whom were not publicly out before then – came to watch. After hours of debate, the Council repealed four anti-gay laws. the 1973 Gay revolt. photo courtesy of Jerry Gerash.
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
MArCH 26, 1975 – Boulder City Clerk Clela Rorex issues the first-ever same-sex marriage license in the United States, citing an absence of laws prohibiting same-sex unions in Colorado. The license was later declared invalid. 1976 – The GLBT Community Center of Colorado is founded. April 1976 – Phil Price, a student from Boulder, launches Out Front.
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among LGBT people and what was then called “the Gay Liberation Movement.” Though Colorado activists started organizing here right away, one could call the 1973 uprising Denver’s own Stonewall – the community’s breakout moment. Donaciano Martinez, who had lived in Colorado Springs through his formative years, spoke about the energy that drove the era. “Living two decades in a very racist environment in Colorado Springs politicized me,” he said. Martinez said he discovered other gay men in the late 1950s, though the life they lived was “underground.” The event that pushed Martinez into open activism wasn’t LGBT rights. “It had to do with Vietnam,” he said. President Johnson promised during his 1964 campaign that he would avoid the war, a message that resonated with Martinez, so he volunteered for Johnson. After Johnson won, the Vietnam War escalated. “He betrayed us, and then we were in the streets.” Martinez’ story reflects a generation galvanized by Vietnam to become active on issues beyond war, including LGBT rights. In 1969, Martinez helped found the Gay Liberation Front branch in Colo. Springs, which he called “a very militant organization – we were very much in your face.” He used the word “radical,” but said that doesn’t mean extremist. “It’s about addressing social problems at the roots,” Martinez said. “We had a profound distrust in the political system back then, ... We weren’t lobbying or writing to our legislators like you see today.” Gay activism in Colorado between 1969 and 1973 often meant making your statement anonymously. To reveal your name carried a risk. But 1973 was a turning point, bringing the movement into the open, and at the same time instilling a sense of responsibility in the activists. Martinez said, “we decided to pull up the reins and become more moderate.” He relocated from Colorado Springs to Denver in 1975. “I was involved in the Unity group charged with founding the Gay Community Center,” which is now the GLBT Community Center of Colorado. “Jerry Gerash was the driving force,” he said. “By the late 1970s it was a lot of buckling down, getting The Center going.” The emerging lesbian and gay community had growing pains to go through, too, addressing the complex cultural, ethnic and gender diversity in a cause based on identity rather than background. The movement known as “gay liberation” would shift to “gay and lesbian rights” with women increasingly recognized for a distinct though central role. Meanwhile activists began to heed how gay and lesbian life intersected with race. “There were three gay bars that actively discriminated against African-American gay men,” Martinez said. He and other activists launched civil rights complaints and picketed the Denver establishments. “We were out there every night – it was cold as hell,” he said. “It was the first time you started seeing gay Chicanos and African-Americans become active in the movement, to see a need and a space for their own groups.” In the 1980s the mood shifted with the outbreak of AIDS. “As a result of seeing many of my friends lost, it simmered me down,” Martinez said. Instead of combative activism, he volunteered as a caregiver and supported friends who had the disease. But the community’s combativeness flared again in 1992, when Colorado voters passed Amendment
w The first issue of Out Front, April 2, 1976 JUNE 27, 1976 – First Pride March in Denver.
First cover of Out Front
OCT. 14, 1977 – Famous anti-gay crusader Anita Bryant took a pie in the face from gay activist Thom Higgins on national television during a press conference in Des Moines, Iowa. Bryant, singer and former Miss Oklahoma beauty pageant winner, founded “Save Our Children,” a political organization that launched a successful campaign to overturn an anti-discrimination law in Dade County, Florida, and made similar efforts to repeal gay-friendly laws in jurisdictions across the country.
JAN. 8, 1978 – Harvey Milk, an unapologetic grassroots gay activist, is sworn in as a San Francisco City Supervisor, becoming the first openly gay non-incumbent elected to political office in the United States. Anita Bryant
NOV. 27, 1978 – Milk, along with San Francisco Mayor George Moscone, are assassinated by a former fellow city supervisor, Dan White. w Harvey Milk, memorialized in the Dec. 8, 1978 issue of Out Front, page 9. MAY 21, 1979 – The “White Night Riots” break out in San Francisco after Milk’s assassin Dan White, whose criminal defense had been supported by the city police, receives a lenient 5-year sentence for the murders of Milk and Moscone. In the midst of a 5,000-person march, police cars are burned, trolley cables are dismantled, storefronts are smashed and more than a hundred protesters are injured. Police retaliate by raiding and vandalizing a gay bar. The next day, San Francisco gay community leaders refuse to apologize for the riots. 1980-1986 – A mysterious, lethal disease begins striking gay men in major U.S. cities, developing into the AIDS panic as it begins appearing in more places, including Denver, without a universally-understood cause in medicine until the HIV virus itself is named in 1986. The crisis sparks new forms of gay activism as the community perceives the federal government under the administration of President Ronald Reagan to be dismissive of the plight of AIDS victims.
Harvey Milk
Photo from the June 24, 1983 issue of Out Front, page 6
1983 – The Colorado AIDS Project is founded. MARCH 1987 – ACT UP (the AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power) forms out of the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center in New York City. On March 24, more than a dozen ACT UP protestors were arrested in a protest on Wall Street. 1987 – The ‘NAMES Project’ AIDS Memorial Quilt is founded 1991 – Denver LGBT activists win the defeat of a Denver ballot initiative in the to exclude gays and lesbians from city antidiscrimination ordinances. Anti-gay groups shift efforts to invalidate LGBT protections through a state constitutional amendment, Colorado’s Amendment 2.
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Photo from the NOVEMBER 11, 1992 issue of Out Front, page 8 Continued on page 20
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Continued from page 19 2, a constitutional amendment that forbid the state or municipal governments from having laws preventing LGBT discrimination. Martinez said that he and his circle had seen the writing on the wall when Amendment 2 went on the ballot. “We knew that [Amendment 2] would win, even though we fought against it,” he said. That wasn’t the case for all observers; when the initiative passed, “there was a lot of tension because people were shocked. They had assumed the voters would do the right thing and vote against it. You started seeing the rage. They poured out into the streets. Mayor [Wellington] Webb and Gov. [Roy] Romer were out there marching with them, urging calm.” Amendment 2 – which would be overturned as unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1996 – “spawned a new generation of activists,” Martinez said. They, plus many activists to come, had been children or not yet born during the combative ’70s, seeking institutional change rather than uprising. “Creating change from the inside is important,” said Preston Dickey, the Development Director for One Colorado, a statewide LGBT advocacy organization founded in 2010 to organize, campaign and lobby for state laws such as civil unions. “Policy has a real effect on people’s lives. But we’d never be where we are today without civil disobedience.” Dickey said he sees his work as activism to challenge stereotypes used against the LGBT community. One Colorado shares stories from LGBT individuals – and committed same-sex couples and families – in its efforts advocating policy benefitting LGBT couples, patients, students, and coalitions between the LGBT community and other groups. “I think people might be surprised if I called myself an activist,” Dickey said, “considering that most of what I do is raise money and plan large events for a policy advocacy organization – but I’m still an activist. Some of my proudest moments have been disrupting the status quo. I get angry about the lack of rights and protections for LGBT people and I think protests are a great way of channeling that frustration. But, I’m happy and proud of the work I do, and hope it continues to make a difference.” One Colorado maintains a grassroots element, notably organizing rallies outside the state Capitol for the civil unions bill. “I think [public policy and activism] compliment each other,” Dickey said. “We wouldn’t be doing this work if people hadn’t acted out and demanded a stop to discrimination.” It’s the community’s identification of its needs that informs One Colorado’s policy initiatives. “We rely on our community organizing to influence how we lobby – and we give people the opportunity to lobby on behalf of themselves and their families,” Dickey said. And it’s the activists of the past who laid the foundation for work being done today. That’s something Martinez concurs with. “I do not forget my radical roots,” he said. “I have a tremendous respect and pride in them. There needed to be someone out there raising hell in the streets.” Even now, achievements as remarkable as the one that defines the present – Gov. Hickenlooper signing a bill for civil unions into Colorado law March 21 – start from the 1973 sentiment: being out, telling the truth, refusing to settle and making demands. “Our opponents throw around the term homosexual activists to scare folks,” Dickey said. “But I think it’s time we reclaim it … it’s vital that we keep telling our stories and keep coming out.” ]
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NOV. 3, 1992 – Voters approve Colorado’s Amendment 2, to abolish state and municipal laws protecting lesbians and gays from discrimination in Colorado, leading Colorado to be dubbed “the hate state.” Furious members of Denver’s LGBT community – many of whom had not believed the initiative could pass – take to the streets in shock. Denver Mayor Wellington Webb and Colorado Governor Roy Romer, both of whom opposed Amendment 2, stand with the protesters urging calm and hoping to avoid an escalation to violence. Soon an effort is launched to defeat the Amendment 2 through the courts, while a galvanized generation of Colorado LGBT activists renew efforts to win equality.
Photo from the NOV. 11, 1992 issue of Out Front, page 19 w Dec. 21, 1993 – Don’t Ask Don’t Tell begins, which allows lesbians and gays to serve in the military but forbids them from coming out under penalty of discharge from service. 1994 – Colorado philanthropist Tim Gill founds the Gill Foundation, an organization to fund LGBT nonprofits around the country and boost the image of lesbians and gays through engagment in community charities and volunteer work. MAY 20, 1996 – The U.S. Supreme Court overturns Amendment 2. SEPT. 17, 1998 – Texas gay men John Lawrence and Tyron Garner are arrested in Lawrence’s Houston apartment for having sex and charged under Texas sodomy laws, launching an appeals process by Lawrence and LGBT activists against laws criminalizing gay sex.
Article from the OCTOBER 18, 2006 issue of Out Front, page 16
MAY 2003 – Gay activist and sex columnist Dan Savage pens a column seeking to come up with a new definition for “Santorum,” for outspokenly anti-gay GOP Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum who compared homosexuality to “man on child, man on dog” sex in an interview about the Supreme Court case on sodomy laws. The winning entry defines Santorum as “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex,” which dogs Santorum as the top Google search result for his name even well into his candidacy for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination. JUNE 26, 2003 – The U.S. Supreme Court abolishes laws criminalizing gay sex. 2006 – Colorado LGBT activists launch Referendum I, a ballot initiative to establish same-sex partnerships in Colorado, but it is defeated during the Nov. 7 election at the same time that voters pass Amendment 43 prohibits same-sex marriages in the state constitution. NOV. 2008 – California voters approve Prop. 8, banning same-sex marriage in the state constitution during the Nov. 4 election, sparking immediate protests around the state, especially around Mormon temples because of the church’s heavy financial support to the Prop. 8 campaign. Another round of protests occurs nationwide on Nov. 15. MARCH 2009 – Lieutenant Daniel Choi, an Army translator, Iraq veteran and West Point graduate who had been transferred to the New York National Guard, publicly violates the military’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy by coming out as gay, including with a high-profile public announcement on the Rachel Maddow Show. On June 20 a panel of officers orders his discharge.
Lieutenant Daniel Choi
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
MARCH 18, 2010 – Choi and a group of protesters in military uniforms are arrested for chaining themselves to the White House fence, protesting Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Continued on page 38
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FeatUre
Colorado native discharged under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell reenlists
sergeant First Class luiza Fritz
By Michael Yost
S
ergeant First Class Luiza Fritz, an Army veteran who served in Iraq twice before being discharged under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, has finally overcome a long personal and bureaucratic battle for the opportunity to serve in uniform again. It began in June 2008, when Fritz – on active duty as a platoon sergeant in Iraq at the time – came home on leave. “One of my soldiers emailed me from Bagdad,” said Fritz. The message read an investigation had been opened concerning her homosexuality. “I had no idea.” The soldiers under her command were worried something would happen to their platoon leader, and asked Fritz what to do. “I said, you know what, I’ve always taught you guys to have integrity. Tell the truth. Let me fight my own battles. I’ll take care of it.” Before she left Iraq on leave, Fritz and a first sergeant had been in a disagreement over Army policy. “They took a lot of my guys and reassigned them to their own NCOs (Non-commissioned Officers), and basically the first sergeant told me they’re not yours anymore.” There was an immediate conflict. “He [the first sergeant] and I butted heads. He didn’t like policy, and I did.” Fritz found herself in the unusual position of answering to two commands.
an “honorable” discharge could reenlist. “So, my foot was in the door, and then the door was slammed in my face.” Adding insult to injury, the Department of Defense began garnishing Fritz’s wages, recouping an enlistment bonus she received in Feb of 2007. “I felt so slighted. So absolutely slighted.” Fritz fought back by sharing her story through media interviews. It was then she met John Kelly, an Air Force veteran and volunteer at the GLBT Community Center of Colorado. Together they founded the Colorado GLBT Color Guard. “I wanted to prove to the heterosexual community that we [LGBT servicemembers] were no different, and damn you for thinking that, because I was a good soldier. Gay and lesbian veterans, soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines – we’re the same. We can do the job just as good as anybody else.” Kelly and Fritz petitioned a theme for the 2011 Denver PrideFest honoring LGBT servicemembers: These Colors Don’t Run. The newly formed GLBT Color Guard led the parade that year. In November, they “At some point, I think, they got it in marched in the Veteran’s Day Parade – the their minds that they were going to dig. first time in Colorado’s history an openly They were going to find something.” A gay color guard marched in the parade. soldier under Fritz’s command informed “Once I put that uniform back on just the first sergeant of a MySpace page Fritz to do the parades, it changed,” Fritz said, shared with her partner at the time. “I started to get my patriotism back.” The “It was private, so the first sergeant GLBT Color Guard is now sponsored by ordered one of my soldiers to pull up my the American Veterans for Equal Rights MySpace page, and he stuck a thumb drive and is the visible arm of the AVER Rocky in the computer and saved it.” The inforMountain Chapter. mation was turned into the Inspector GenRejuvenated and more determined eral’s Office, sparking the investigation. than ever, Fritz began the arduous process Fritz and her partner at the time had of upgrading her discharge applied for a committed status. She submitted all partnership in Denver. The HER DISCHARGE STATUS UPGRADE HAD BEEN APPROVED the paperwork to the Army registry was public record, UNANIMOUSLY BY A FIVE-MEMBER PANEL OF OFFICERS. Discharge Review Board and was used as evidence FRITZ WAS ELIGIBLE TO REENLIST. “I STARTED and waited. There was no against her. “When I got way to check on the status. CRYING. TEARS . MY HEART STARTED back [from leave], I was “I was stuck, wrapped relieved of duty.” Her disPOUNDING. I GOT ON MY PHONE. I CALLED up in red tape,” said Fritz, charge paperwork read MY GIRLFRIEND. I CALLED MY MOM. ‘OH who was in administrative homosexual conduct, atMY GOD! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!’” limbo for almost a year tempted marriage – despite before finally receiving that fact that same-sex “I started the process right after a response. “I got home from work, and marriage is banned by Colorado Constituthe repeal,” said Fritz. “I went down to I was walking the dog. I check the mail, tional Amendment 43. “It was the loneliest flight home ever,” the recruiter, they sent the paperwork and there’s this big envelope. I see Departsaid Fritz, reflecting on her trip back to forward. Then they saw that I had a ment of Defense. I looked at it for a minute, opened it, and I start reading it.” Denver. “I had to come home in civilian general discharge.” Her discharge status upgrade had been Even though Fritz had a distinguished clothes. I flew [home] by myself, and that was it. I was out.” She had served nearly 14 military career with no unfavorable approved unanimously by a five-memyears with the 186th Iowa National Guard reports on her record, she was given a ber panel of officers. Fritz was eligible to “general” discharge. At that time, military reenlist. “I started crying. Tears. My heart Military Police Company. “I was probably in a state of depres- policy classified all DADT discharges as started pounding. I got on my phone. I Continued on page 40 sion for at least a year. Things didn’t seem general, and only servicemembers with normal to me. I didn’t care about anything. Anytime I’d see the flag, I’d turn my head, and it would piss me off. I hated feeling that way. I hated it.” Fritz’ military career had ended after more than a decade in service. She first shipped off to Ft. McClelland, Alabama for basic training in 1995, three days after graduating from Bayfield High School in Colorado. Out Front asked Fritz where her inspiration to serve came from; she didn’t hesitate with an answer: “My mom. She’s a patriot. Absolute patriot. Her heart bleeds red, white and blue.” Nancy Fritz joined the Woman’s Army Corps immediately out of college during the Vietnam era, working as a financial specialist. “Something about serving those three years just made her a true patriot. Every basketball game, every rodeo, they would play the national anthem and she’d stand there with her chest out, hand over her heart, and she’d cry. Every time.” Fritz’s mother kept an old American flag neatly folded in an Army box, which she flew every 4th of July. “That changed when I was discharged,” said Fritz. “She was hurt to the core, as well as I. She took that flag and tucked it away. She told me she would refuse to fly that flag until I had justice.” Justice seemed within arm’s reach when DADT was repealed by Congress in December of 2010, becoming official on September 20, 2011. By then, more than 14,500 servicemembers had been discharged because of their sexual orientation.
[ [ Cover story ] ]
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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By Jeffrey Steen If you’re wondering how to capture the magic of a meal in a moment, look no further than your phone. Yes, there should still be giggles and gobbles, bites and bits about your day, but come that monstrous mound of meat and the cavernous puff of chocolate, a moment can be taken to capture the experience – forever – with flashes and hashtags. “Can you imagine? That steak must be two pounds, easy!” “Oh my gosh. This is nuts. My soufflé is looking at me. I have to take a picture of this.” You see, somewhere between the steak and the soufflé lies Forkly, the sometimes cousin of Instagram, twice removed from Twitter, and half-brother to Yelp. Its face may be new, but its concept is a deft merging of technologies we already know and love. It is the chance to create a photo journal of our gustatory lives. Sure, we might be up to our necks in iPhone apps and tweeting/messaging accounts, but when one taps into our most primal love, it’s hard to turn a blind eye. Let’s face it: we love to talk about our food. Which is why Forkly is so brilliant. It’s not quite Yelp – you’re not reviewing a restaurant experience and then posting it for all to see. And it’s not really Twitter, which bursts at the seams with 140-character aphorisms. It’s all that and not at all: an Instagram-esque capture of a dish with
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a quaint blurb about the moment, the bite, and the culinary experience. From there, friends chime in with salivating seconds: “I love it!;” “I want some!;” “Is that real blowfish?!” So why write about a foodie phone app for Colorado’s Out Front mag? Well, two reasons. One, the gays love to eat – however much we deny it. There’s a reason bulging burgers are sold aplenty at Wrangler, wings are popped at Eden, and sweaty dogs are gorged in the recesses of Vinyl’s rooftop lounge. Second, Forkly is a proud native of Colorado. In fact, their offices are right on the edge of downtown on 11th and Speer. Freshly-developed a few years ago (by trailblazing designers Martin May and Brady Becker of social-networking app Brightkite), Forkly is an example of the next generation of smartphone applications – a smarter app for a new generation of users. Say, for example, you’re wandering around LoDo and come across Squeaky Bean. On a whim, you and your BFF stop in for a cocktail and an early happy hour bite. What you discover is not only revelational, but orgasmic: a sea urchin emulsion like none other. So, you tell Forkly you dig it, and Forkly nods in agreement, taking note and assembling a list of similar tastes in the area. At the end of the day, what you get is a collection of recommendations based on your personal palate, and friendly remind-
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
ers the next time you’re in the area that a certain sea urchin emulsion is calling your name. For your foodie friends, the sampling and sifting is already done: your old college roommate Shar Shar loves that you love what she loves, so when you say you like Linquiça at Fogo de Chão – or the incomparable Squeaky Bean sea urchin – she’s more likely to drop by for a bite or three. See? There’s no question – Forkly has undeniable benefits for the food-loving public as a whole. But, perhaps it has more specific import for the LGBT community on certain nights of the week and hours of the day – say, after a heavy night of drinking at the clubs, or on hangover mornings when a greasy fried chicken-andwaffle is just what the fabulous doctor ordered. In case you need more convincing to give the app a spin, take note: The NY Times, TechCrunch, and the UK Guardian have all given it a nod. That doesn’t mean it will fit your needs perfectly, but it’s bound to be an appetizing temptation, no? On the downside: Forkly is only available for the iPhone at the moment, but the developers promise to be working diligently on an Android version. ]
^ Find Forkly in the iPhone app store, or visit Forkly.com. [ [ soCial ] ]
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april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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High Society
The essence of Lily Tomlin Comic legend to perform in Denver
By Nic Garcia Sandwiched in time between Lucile Ball and Tina Fey is Lily Tomlin: a classic comedian with a feminist edge, a simple woman with mesmerizing beauty, a Southern belle with an East Coast wit. All anyone needs to do to understand the essence – and genius – of Tomlin is to watch one episode of The Carol Burnett Show that she guest starred on. In her first scene – a one–woman act – she plays a quiet, single, buttoned-up cigar-smoking broad whose date has left her half way through dinner. The character’s mother
warned her as a child “it’s going to be difficult.” In her next scene, opposite of Burnett, Tomlin plays a free spirit, twice-divorced vixen with plans to marry her next husband: her ex’s divorce attorney. Now the chameleon stage and screen performer who brought us characters like Ernestine, the raucous telephone operator on Laugh–In, Violet Newstead, the career woman who wouldn’t accept less than in 9 to 5, and most recently Lillie Mae the rebellious grandmother with an ornery streak in Malibu Country, will take the stage at the Paramount Theatre April 13 to tickle the funny bone of Denver. “The connection is what is most gratifying,” said Tomlin, the 73-year-old performance artist whose professional career started in New York City in the 1960s. A college dropout, Tomlin has been performing since she was a child, gathering inspiration from her co-tenants in a Detroit apartment complex. “I put on shows since I was a little kid.” Whether it was tap dancing, magic or an impersonation of a neighbor, if it was interesting to her, she figured it was fun for all. And so far, she’s been right on. Coming of age in the 1960s, Tomlin said, “I think I would have been successful just opening a coffee house and doing sketches and poetry readings,” but after running away to New York in 1962, “I had a career all of the sudden.” And what a career: movies like Nashville, A Prairie Home Companion and Admissions. Television shows like Murphy Brown, Will and Grace, and of course The Magic School Bus. As Tomlin has developed her skills, she’s developed her own method to define her characters, or what she calls understanding the “essence of the woman” she portrays. Whether it’s a particular hairstyle or tattoo, an accent or a tick, Tomlin goes to great length to appreciate the role – comedic or dramatic. Tomlin said she hopes to have the Denver audience in stitches over current events and plans to satirize herself and former characters. While the show is still in development, Tomlin is working with multimedia including archival footage from her past. “We’re going to try and embellish the show with video. We’re going to make a comment,” she said. And while any lesser performer could take herself too seriously, Tomlin remains modest. “I don’t reflect (on my career) a lot,” she said. “You are who you are. If I did contribute, I’m delighted,” she said. ] Lily Tomlin performs April 13 at the Paramount. For more info, visit Ofcnow.co/d8S.
^
The Quotable Comedian On the type of people she’s attached to: “I like people who don’t accept something at face.”
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men (in the 1970s) didn’t have a lot of respect for gay women.”
On her legacy: “I hope whatever I’ve done, I’ve helped to unite, not divide.”
On the future of the LGBT community: “I really admire the kids who have come along and who have decided to not be invisible.”
On LGBT history: “It always made me unhappy that gay
On anything else she’d like to add: “No more war.”
april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
[ [ Social ] ]
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For more information on how to get your event listed, please call 303-477-4000
HICK: ‘IT’S LAW’
Civil union debate ends with governor’s signature; lawmakers pivot to full marriage equality BY NIC GARCIA Both paths will take time and money, activists agree. The U.S. Supreme Court is expected to weigh-in on the question of same-sex marriage when it hears two cases this spring. Most experts agree the court’s rulings will have a limited impact on Colorado. While Colorado’s future march toward marriage equality may not be decided by the June rulings, its past will most likely play a prominent role. A U.S. Supreme Court ruling on Colorado’s Amendment 2 has been, and will be, part of the discussion in whether gay men and women have the right to marry. Colorado voters in 1992 approved an amendment to the state constitution that made it legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians. In a 6-3 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the “Hate State” amendment. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Amber Sullivan, left and Sarah Higginbotham after Gov. John Hickenlooper signed the Colorado Civil Union Act into law March 21. The relationship recogonition law goes into effect May 1. Photo and cover photo by Evan Semón/Out Front
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new era of rights and responsibilities for the state’s gay and lesbian community began March 21 after Colorado Gov. John W. Hickenlooper signed into law the Colorado Civil Union Act. The signing ceremony marked the end of a three-year journey that began Valentine’s Day 2011 on the north steps of the state’s Capitol when the bill’s sponsors, flanked by supporters, introduced the legislation for the first time. The Democrat’s signature made Colorado the 18th state to offer comprehensive relationship recognition to same-sex couples and, according to gay activists, finally admonished Colorado’s “hate state” reputation. “It is a moment the whole community has waited for, for so long.” Hickenlooper said before he signed the bill. “It’s the beginning of the country changing. A change has gotten here. And it’s going to keep going.” County clerks may begin issuing civil union licenses May 1. Denver’s clerk,
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Debra Johnson, is expected to open her doors at midnight. Rich Jaeger and Steve Unfer who were at the bill signing said they are considering getting a license. “It’s amazing, the whole thing is just amazing,” said Unfer, who marched in Denver’s first Pride nearly 40 years ago. “I never thought I would see this in my life.” Gay Denver Democrats state Sens. Pat Steadman and Lucia Guzman and Speaker of the House Mark Ferrandino sponsored the version of the bill Hickenlooper signed into law. Democrat state Rep. Sue Schafer, a Wheat Ridge lesbian, also co-sponsored the bill in the House of Representatives. “We’re very pleased our constituents supported us and elected us,” Schafer said after the House approved the bill. The legislation was approved by both chambers of the General Assembly with bipartisan support. And while gay and lesbian Coloradans can’t actualize the new law for another month, gay lawmakers and activists are already pivoting to the next step toward
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
equality: marriage. “Having worked on the issues facing the LGBT community and our on–going struggle to be treated equally and respected, and afforded dignity in our society, having worked on these things for over two decades, today, really is the high point of that struggle, and yet, we’re not there yet,” Steadman said after the House of Representatives gave its final approval to the legislation. “And I don’t want anyone to think we’ve somehow reached the peak, climbed the summit of that mountain that challenges us. Civil unions are not marriage. They are something that are separate and distinct and unequal. And that really is not good enough. We passed this bill because it was the best we could do.” Guzman echoed: “This does not end here. Justice continues to roll.” Colorado voters in 2006 approved Amendment 43 that defined marriage between a man and a woman. Voters would need to repeal the law at the ballot, or a court could strike the law.
The emotional, politically charged and consequential debate waged over the civil union legislation often transcended the personal and the political, the rights of families and the rights of the religious. On one side of the debate were the Democratic sponsors of the bill, gay men and women, who challenged their colleagues’ idea of fairness. On the other side, Republican leaders claimed they were protecting the will of the people who rejected a referendum to establish domestic partnerships for same-sex couples in 2006. During the Senate’s 2012 debate, Steadman quoted Shylock from William Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice. “’If you prick us, do we not bleed?’” Republican state Sen. Kevin Lundberg countered, “I know it doesn’t call it marriage. But it takes every aspect of marriage in Colorado law and puts another definition right beside it.” On one side of the debate was a coalition of LGBT activist and donors demanding dignity and equality for the 16,000 same-sex families living in Colorado. On the other side, lawyers argued small businesses and nonprofits doing the work of churches would be burdened or ran out of the state if they did not comply with a secular progressive agenda. Continued on page S23
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
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MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
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Cast of characters The key figures who have been implemental in the civil unions fight
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MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
State Sen. Pat Steadman introduced the bill for civil unions every year since 2011. The effort became more personal for the The Denver Democrat Protaganist after his partner, Dave Misner, died Sept. 16 after battling pancreatic cancer.
Out lesbian state Rep. Sue Shafer co-introduced the bill for civil unions in the House along with Rep. Ferrandino in 2013. The The Democrat worked Emissary diligently behind the scenes in 2011 and 2012 to win GOP votes for bill.
In 2011 and 2012, Democratic Rep. Mark Ferrandino carried the civil unions bill in the GOP-controlled House where they met dramatic poThe Ascendant litical showdowns. Champion The 2012 elections gave Democrats and Ferrandino control of the House, assuring passage.
Former state Rep. B.J. Nikkel stood with her fellow Republicans during a party-line committee vote that killed civil unions in 2011, The Unlikely but in 2012 Nikkel Ally shocked observers by switching to a “yes” vote – allowing the bill to advance the farthest yet.
An ordained minister known for her reflective speaking style, out Denver Democrat state Sen. Lucia Guzman co-introduced the civil The Wise unions bill in 2013. Compatriot She said she sponsored the bill in part for the gays and lesbians who have fought before her.
State Rep. Frank McNulty was speaker of the House in 2011 and 2012. McNulty’s self-proclaimed political legacy was written when The he led his party Villain in a controversial procedural maneuver blocking a vote on the civil unions bill.
Brad Clark, director of statewide LGBT advocacy organization One Colorado, led the public fight for civil unions by The lobbying and orgaStrategist nizing supporters. Clark vowed to hold the GOP accountable after they killed the bill in 2012.
Mario Nicolais, a straight Republican attorney representing the pro–civil unions group Coloradoans for Freedom, spoke at hearings saying The relationship recogMessenger nition for same-sex couples was the future whether his party got behind it now or not.
Sen. Ken Lundberg is the Senate Republicans’ most vocal opponent of civil unions, leading rallies and evoking postcard The campaigns Antagonist opposed to LGBT rights. He calls civil unions a violation of religious liberty.
After the 2012 civil unions bill died, Gov. John Hickenlooper, in an emotional annoucment called for a special legislative session The Benevolent giving civil unions Chief another chance to pass. It failed, but he cited the bill again in his 2013 State of the State speech. ]
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
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Like any other Colorado family Two couples who put faces to the civil unions bill reflect on victory
Anna Simon, right, and Fran Simon, left, lead their son, Jeremy, down from the stand where the family testified at the Jan. 23 committee hearing for civil unions. Photo by Evan Semon/Out Front
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n a packed hearing room in Colorado’s Capitol building, photographers hurriedly snapped photos of lesbian couple Fran and Anna Simon and their 5-year-old son, Jeremy, gathered on the witness stand beneath the Old Supreme Court Chamber’s flamboyant brass chandelier. In crisp, professional attire – even little Jeremy donning a collared shirt and kid-sized paisley tie – the two mothers explained in familiar kitchen-table terms the benefits they’d gain, and personal significance entwined, in the bill before the state Senate committee – a bill to give them the right to form a civil union. Fran and Anna became a favorite media focal point when they testified, regularly, at public hearings for civil unions now three years in a row. For the first two years they spoke ardently before House, then later Senate committee members,
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from the very same wooden stand, only to see each year’s bill die in partisan turmoil. This time – round three – a weight was lifted off the couple’s shoulders. The routine testimony was familiar for the Simons, and also for the legislators, reporters, activists and thousands of concerned citizens following live from the room itself or social media and streaming online audio feeds. But the atmosphere was different. It was the first time Jeremy took the stand with his moms. Most pivotally, this time civil unions supporters controlled the legislature and promised that the bill would pass. In an earlier interview with Out Front, the Simons were buoyant about the bill’s prospects. “We’re much more optimistic this year,” Anna said. “It would be exciting if the bill gets signed near our 10-year anniversary”
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
which was March 2, said Fran. Anna, who works in the research department at the University of Denver, is originally from Cincinnati. Fran, an independent political consultant, is from New Jersey. They both lived in California’s Bay Area when they met, and have lived in Denver together since 2004. They had a wedding ceremony in 2005. Anna said, “It was important for us to declare before our families, our communities, and before God – we’re both Jewish – that we’d made a commitment to each other for life. But there was no legal recognition at all.” The Simons eventually took advantage of an earlier Colorado law allowing same-sex couples to enter a Designated Beneficiary Agreement, which offers some relationship rights when it comes to inheritance, health care and hospital visitation.
BY MATTHEW PIZZUTI
But that and other legal arrangements they’d put in place were costly, and left much to be desired. “Quite frankly, for a lot of these things we’d spend thousands of dollars just cobbling them together,” Anna said. “And even with all that, it’s not equivalent to a civil union. And a lot of Coloradoans don’t have access to those funds.” “For us there’s both the practical aspect and the psychological aspect,” she said. “With a civil union we’d have the tools to protect us in a time of crisis, and psychologically, people would recognize what a civil union is.” “And it’s a dignity issue,” Fran chimed in, before Anna continued: “…that we’re a family with the same issues as any other Colorado family.” (After celebrating 10 years together the two have apparently developed a tendency to finish each other’s sentences.) When civil unions become available May 1, the Simons will race to tie the knot. “We’d probably have to do it at like 8 a.m. the first day so that we can get our kid to school,” Fran said. Chuckling, Anna: “I’d love to be first in line.” Fran: “I guess I’d be second, then.” Both laugh. For another Colorado couple – also known for their public testimony for civil unions – there won’t be a need to dash to the courthouse in May. The moment the law takes effect, their 2008 California marriage will apply as a Colorado civil union. “I think the biggest piece of it is our marriage from California will be recognized in Colorado,” said Jason Cobb – whose partner is also named Jason – and who testified at the same stretch of public hearings the Simons spoke at. Cobb and Prussman are corporate attorneys, who, like the Simons, also have a young son, Jacobb, who is 6. Together they lived through the same political roller coaster that was the fight for civil unions, speaking at the hearings only to see their efforts end with dashed hopes two years in a row before the bill finally passed. “Politically, it’s been a fascinating story to unfold – very dramatic,” Cobb said. “But I think that for anyone from myself to the politicians pushing for the bill, the personal dimensions are really apparent,” Cobb said. Cobb mentioned state Sen. Pat Steadman – who personally introduced
Jason Cobb the bill all three years – whose partner, Dave Misner, succumbed to pancreatic cancer in 2012 before the ultimate passage of his own bill that would have allowed their union to be recognized. For Jason and Jason, it’s not as much about the specific legal benefits a civil union will provide as it is the recognition the bill represents – recognition for relationships like Steadman and Misner had, for same-sex couples across the state, and for themselves. “We’ve thought of ourselves and lived as committed couple almost all of our adult lives,” Prussman said. “Once civil unions passes, our hope is that more people will begin seeing our family as more like their own than different.” “It’s the public understanding of our relationships and how we’re not that different from anyone else. And the security it provides our son,” Cobb said. “It really seems a bit inevitable and anticlimactic right now,” Prussman added. “I was born here (in Colorado), and we’ve been together 15 years building a life together. All my family is up in Fort Collins, and have been great support; I’m proud that my parents even came down and lobbied in person at the Capitol last year.” They’d first gotten involved in the hearings on Cobb’s initiative – for him, being in the midst of debate is second nature. At first, he went to a legislative hearing intending to only watch, but couldn’t help himself but to sign up and testify. “I couldn’t keep my mouth shut – like always,” Cobb said. But his partner was glad to hear about it later. “Jason was proud of me. I don’t think he was surprised,” Cobb said. “He said, ‘I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.’” Soon they would be another star Colorado family making the cause for civil
unions more real to the politicians who would cast the deciding votes. Like Jason and Jason, the Simons saw it as a duty to participate. “We both have a long history of caring about social issues,” Fran said, “but most of that was in college.” Two years ago now, in 2011, civil unions advocates who knew who the Simons were reached out and asked if they’d testify for the then-new civil unions bill. “We were very happy to,” Fran said. “We’re in a unique position that we can do this work,” Anna said. “Our schedules are a lot more flexible than other people’s, and we can be out to our families and at work, so we think it’s our moral obligation to speak up.” The Simons’ willingness to give faces to the issue didn’t go unrecognized by the community. But underneath the collected, articulate public image the Simons represented at the hearings, there is between them a distinct everyday affection for each other.
‘‘
It’s the public understanding of our relationships and how we’re not that different from anyone else. And the security it provides our son. – Jason Cobb
“I don’t know if this is relevant, but the Denver Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce awarded us in November with the ‘Community Allies of the Year’ award for our testimony,” Anna offered – unsolicited – during the phone conversation. “Oh – ”Anna halted herself “ – Fran’s scowling at me now.” They’re truly, as they said they hope their civil union will convey, a family like any other. “The whole thing is confusing for our son,” Anna said. “Because he sees us as already married. And his friends see us as already married.” “It’s normal to him,” Fran added. “He just says he has ‘two moms.’ Just I’d say I have two parents, or some people have one parent. Just like anybody else.” ]
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
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THE MARCH OF PROGRESS Two years after the first attempt to pass a bill for civil unions in Colorado, a 2013 bill began in the Senate, moved through the process and was signed into law in 71 calendar days. The journey in photos.
Clockwise from top left: Jeremy Simon, 5, demonstrates his support for the Colorado Civil Union Act on the west steps of the Capitol Feb. 28; his mothers, Fran and Anna Simon, would later testify for civil unions at a committee hearing on the bill. Speaker of the House Mark Ferrandino, a gay Denver Democrat, spoke at the same rally; Ferrandino has been a sponsor of the bill since 2011. Civil union supporters hold hands during a Jan. 23 hearing on the bill. Out gay state Sen. Pat Steadman, D-Denver, testified in favor of the civil union bill at a Jan. 23 hearing; he first introduced the bill in 2011. Brad Clark, executive director of One Colorado, the state’s largest LGBT advocacy organization, led the lobbying effort for the bill. On the west steps of the Capitol Feb. 28 he told supporters their had work had finally paid off. Photos by Evan Semon/Out Front
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
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Top row left to right: Dominick Moreno, D-Commerce City, shakes Gov. John Hickenlooper’s hand after Hickenlooper called for the passage of civil unions during his State of the State Address, Jan. 10. State Sen. Pat Steadman, seated next to co-sponsor Sen. Lucia Guzman, questions a representative from Catholic Charities if his organization would support the bill if it had religious exemptions for child placing services. Photos by Evan Semon/ Out Front Left: State Rep. Frank McNulty, R-Highlands Ranch, listens as Speaker of the House Mark Ferrandino introduces the Colorado Civil Union Act on the House floor. McNulty, the former speaker, took heat in 2012 for blocking a vote on that year’s version of the bill. Photo by Sean Mullins/ Out Front
Above: Newly elected state Sen. Jessie Ulibarri, D-Commerce City, hugs his partner Louis Trujillo after a Jan. 23 hearing regarding a bill to establish civil unions. The couple had previously testified in favor of the bill in 2011 and 2012. This year Ulibarri, who sits on the Senate Judiciary Committee, chaired the hearing. Photo by Evan Semon/Out Front Left: State Rep. Dominick Moreno discusses the civil union bill as members of the LBGT caucus listen March 12. The bill passed with bipartisan support. Sitting, from left, are Speaker of the House Mark Ferrandino, state Reps. Joann Ginal, Sue Schafer and Paul Rosenthal. Photo by Sean Mullins/Out Front
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MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
Top right: Out lesbian lawmaker state Rep. Sue Schafer, D-Wheat Ridge, discusses the state House of Representatives passing the Colorado Civil Union Act with reporters March 12. Schafer was a sponsor of the bill. Photo by Sean Mullins/Out Front Bottom right: Cheri Gerou, R-Evergreen, explains why she believes a bill to establish civil unions in Colorado is in line with her conservative values. Photo by Sean Mullins/Out Front
Above: Supporters of the Colorado Civil Union Act rallied on the west steps of the Capitol before the bill was heard before the House Judiciary Committee Feb. 28. Photo by Evan Semon/Out Front Below: State Sen. Pat Steadman, a sponsor of the bill, gives his approval to a sign Jeremy Simon, 5, made in support of the bill. Photo by Evan Semon/Out Front
^ For more photos go to ofcnow.co/cupi
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
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DARE TO THINK
OUTSIDE THE BOX
Reactiens Responses to the passage of civil unions ONE COLORADO “This historic victory belongs to the thousands of committed couples across the state, who have worked tirelessly for three years to make it possible for all loving families to have the protection they need to take care of one another.” – Brad Clark, Executive Director HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN “The Colorado legislature has taken a definitive step forward in the march toward equality. The passage of civil unions in the Centennial State is further proof that full equality for committed and loving gay and lesbian couples is in sight. From now on LGBT couples in Colorado will no longer be legal strangers in the eyes of their state, but rather recognized and supported by the law.” – Chad Griffin, HRC President THE GLBT COMMUNITY CENTER OF COLORADO “Congrats to Speaker Ferrandino and the rest of the LGBT caucus in the House. Great job Rep. Moreno in chairing a very challenging debate, as a newly elected, out, gay representative ... Thanks to so many supportive allies of the LGBT community in Colorado, including the bipartisan support of Rep. Gerou who championed this as a good conservative bill.” – Mindy Barton, Legal Director LAMBDA LEGAL “Another state has taken an important step forward in recognizing and protecting same-sex couples and their families ... We have received a great many calls over the years at Lambda Legal from LGBT Coloradans seeking help and advice on how they can protect their families. This bill goes a long way towards making that protection a reality.” – Jennifer Pizer, Law and Policy Director
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MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION OF COLORADO “The ACLU of Colorado is thrilled the Colorado legislature passed civil unions and that the bill is now headed to the governor for signature. It is a historic moment not only for LGBT couples, but for all Coloradans who believe in equal rights for all people. We stand with legislators who voted against amendments that would have allowed exemptions for child placement agencies and businesses. Religion cannot be used as an excuse for discrimination under the law. ” – Nathan Woodliff-Stanley, Executive Director of Colorado ACLU
TIM GILL “We’ve come a long way from the days of Amendment 2 to today’s post-partisan win for all families. Scott and I want to thank all those who helped Colorado take this important step toward full equality. We’re proud Coloradans.” MAYOR MICHAEL B. HANCOCK “I am extremely proud of the members of our State Legislature who stood up today for the rights of all Coloradans. The passage of this bill will finally provide long overdue legal rights to committed couples currently excluded from the same benefits and protections provided to their fellow citizens. Our residents can take immense pride in the work that was undertaken to make Colorado a state that champions equality as well as inclusivity and justice for everyone who lives here. When Governor Hickenlooper signs this bill, our great state will take great strides toward bringing down the senseless walls that divide us, stating in one voice: Everyone matters.” COLORADO LOG CABIN REPUBLICANS “This is a good day for GLBT people in Colorado, and one we have been working towards for three years. What’s gratifying to see also are our fellow Republicans – especially Sen. Roberts, and Reps. Gerou, and Murray – celebrating the passage of civil unions with us. After all, civil unions are about equality, freedom, and most importantly, families, no matter what they look like ... Republicans are realizing that support for civil unions and gay rights generally are consistent with, even compelled by, our values of liberty, equality, human dignity and especially family.” – Alexander Hornaday, Log Cabin Republicans Colorado spokesperson COLORADO U.S. SEN. MICHAEL BENNET “This is a historic milestone for Colorado and represents a pinnacle victory in a long-fought struggle for equal rights. LGBT couples should be afforded the same rights and opportunities under the law that my wife and I enjoy, no matter who they choose to love. This milestone reflects the growing national support to end marriage inequality, seen just the other week when I joined with 211 other members of Congress to file a brief in a Supreme Court case challenging the federal Defense of Marriage Act.” ]
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MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
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but in 2007 he agreed to sign a bill for civil unions that took effect in January 2008. In 2009, Lynch was under heavy pressure from his party to sign a bill headed for passage in the legislature for full marriage equality. Lynch agreed to sign the bill after a compromise to include protections for churches refusing to perform same-sex marriages. Same-sex marriages began in New Hampshire Jan. 1, 2010.
STATES WITH SAME-SEX MARRIAGE STATES WITH CIVIL UNIONS/ DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS
Relationship recognition across the U.S. States with domestic partnerships, civil unions or marriage equality Colorado now joins a growing number of states offering stronger relationship recognition to same-sex couples – from strong domestic partnership laws and civil unions, to full marriage equality. STATES WITH SAME-SEX MARRIAGE Massachusetts Massachusetts became the first state to offer same-sex marriage licenses after a November 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling declared unconstitutional the prohibition against same-sex couples within the state law defining all marriages. Republican Gov. Mitt Romney, legally bound by the court ruling, had no choice but to order county clerks to issue same-sex marriage licenses. The first same-sex marriages in the U.S. began in Massachusetts May 17, 2004. Connecticut Starting in 2005, Connecticut offered
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civil unions with all state-level benefits of marriage. When the law took effect, a lawsuit for full marriage equality was already working its way through state courts. Connecticut’s Supreme Court sided with the equality advocates in October 2008, and civil unions were converted to marriages Nov. 12, 2008. Iowa Same-sex marriage began in Iowa after a unanimous Iowa Supreme Court ruling in April 2009 declaring marriage licenses couldn’t be denied based on sexual orientation. The decision made Iowa the first state outside liberal West Coast and New England states to offer full marriage equality, beginning in Iowa April 27, 2009. Vermont In 2000, Vermont became the first state to offer civil unions – passed by the legislature and signed by Gov. Howard Dean to comply with a Vermont Supreme Court ruling. Same-sex marriage advocates introduced a bill for full marriage equality in early 2009. Despite strong support in the legislature, there was a daunting obstacle: Republican Gov. Jim Douglas. Douglas vetoed the bill April 1, leaving advocates scrambling. A suspenseful veto-override vote came April 7, passing the bill 100 to 49 – exactly the number of supporters needed. Same-sex marriage began in Vermont Sept. 1, 2009. New Hampshire New Hampshire’s Democratic Gov. John Lynch was opposed to same-sex marriage,
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
Washington D.C. Washington D.C. began offering limited domestic partnerships in 1992, and in 2009 the Council of the District of Columbia passed a bill for same-sex marriage in the district. Mayor Adrian Fenty signed it Dec. 18 that year, beginning a 30-day window for the U.S. Congress to review the legislation. Congress did not intervene and same-sex marriages began in Washington D.C. March 3, 2010. New York Beginning in 2004, various local ministers and government officials began acts of civil disobedience by solemnizing same-sex marriages despite risking prosecution for breaking the law. Local governments were inconsistent in policies toward recognizing out-of-state same-sex unions, while year after year, legislative fighting resulted in the failure to pass – and sometimes the failure to even introduce – promised bills for marriage equality. As lawsuits worked their way through state courts, the New York State Assembly passed bills for marriage equality three times by 2011 – each bill blocked in the Senate. Finally in June 2011, a fourth bill passed the Senate and was signed by Gov. Andrew Cuomo. Same-sex marriages began in New York July 24, 2011. Washington By 2012 there had been four notable court cases over same-sex marriage in Washington State, the first dating as far back as 1971 – but all had failed. In 2012 the legislature passed, and Gov. Christine Gregoire signed, a bill for marriage equality. Opponents petitioned to put the law on the ballot. But almost 54 percent of voters approved same-sex marriage – the highest-ever percent supporting same-sex marriage on any statewide ballot. Marriages began Dec. 9, 2012. Maine In 2009, Gov. John Baldacci signed a bill to allow same-sex marriage in Maine – but advocates’ celebrations turned out to be short-lived when opposing groups launched a voter referendum to block the bill from taking effect. The 2009 referendum defeated same-sex marriage. Equality advocates later launched their own ballot initiative and Maine became the first state to enact marriage equality entirely by voter initiative Dec. 29, 2012.
Maryland After a bill for same-sex marriage died in Maryland’s legislature in 2011, Gov. Martin O’Malley led a renewed, successful push to pass same-sex marriage through the legislature in 2012. O’Malley signed the bill March 1, but as expected, same-sex marriage opponents won a petition to put up the legislation for voter review on the state’s 2012 ballot. After a fierce campaign, 52 percent of Maryland voters approved of same-sex marriages, and began Jan. 1, 2013. STATES WITH CIVIL UNIONS/ DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS California California is the only state to have offered full marriage equality then drop to a lower level of recognition – domestic partnerships – available in the state today. Domestic partnerships began in 1999. Delaware A Delaware bill for civil unions was signed by Gov. Jack Markel in May 2011 and took effect Jan. 1, 2012. Hawaii Beginning in 1997, Hawaii has offered reciprocal beneficiary registration for adults who are unable to marry – available to same-sex and heterosexual couples alike. Civil unions were later passed and took effect Jan. 1, 2012. Illinois Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn signed a bill for same-sex unions which took effect June 1, 2011. Civil unions in Illinois provide the same state-level benefits as marriage. Nevada Same-sex marriage was banned in Nevada’s Constitution in 2002. In 2009, the legislature passed a bill for domestic partnerships that offer the most of the statelevel benefits of marriage. New Jersey The Garden State began allowing limited domestic partnerships for same-sex couples in 2003. The legislature then passed a civil union bill that took effect Feb. 19, 2007. Oregon Oregon Gov. Ted Kulongoski signed a domestic partnership bill in May 2007, offering most of the state-level benefits of marriage. The bill took effect Feb. 4, 2008. Rhode Island Limited domestic partnership rights were first offered in Rhode Island in 2002. Legislation for civil unions was passed and officially took effect July 1, 2011. Wisconsin In 2009, Wisconsin legislators imbedded in a budget bill provisions to offer same-sex domestic partnership benefits, which passed June 13 that year. ]
10 questions you might have about civil unions — answered What are the main rights a civil union provides? Civil unions will provide a state-level relationship recognition covering many critical legal protections for two people to be able to take care of each other, including a variety of rights from issues of health care, family law, probate and other areas as well. What is the difference between a civil union and a marriage? A civil union will not provide all of the same protections as marriage. With civil unions there is still unequal tax treatment, lack of federal benefits and no recognition in many other states. Will the federal government recognize civil unions if the Supreme Court strikes down the federal Defense of Marriage Act? While we are cautiously optimistic about the upcoming U.S. Supreme Court ruling, the applicability of any such ruling to state level civil unions is unknown, but unlikely.
Will a civil union from Colorado be recognized in other states? A civil union from Colorado would only be recognized in other states if they have laws on their books that would do so. *See Landscape of Marriage on page S18. How will Colorado recognize same-sex marriages from other states? After civil unions are approved in Colorado, marriages validly entered into in states which legally recognize same-sex marriages will be treated as civil unions here. How could Amendment 43 that bans same-sex marriage in Colorado, be overturned? Amendment 43 could be overturned by the courts determining it to be unconstitutional or, the more likely scenario is that it will be removed through the ballot box by a vote of the people of the state.
Could voters overturn civil unions in Colorado? Our structure is not set up generally to have voters overturn pieces of legislation passed through the state Capitol. We elect people to represent our individual interests in the state House of Representatives and the state Senate, and civil unions are within the realm of the work that they do as our elected officials. Is a civil union dissolved the same way as a divorce? Generally, yes. A civil union would be dissolved under the same types of provisions in state law which married couples would divorce, including splitting assets, looking at best interests of children of the relationship and possible maintenance awards. This is particularly important because prior to civil unions, if committed partners were splitting up, there is not statutory guidance, other than contract law, for such issues.
Legal Director from The GLBT Community Center of Colorado, Mindy Barton gives us the basics
Can heterosexual couples get a civil union? Yes. Could couples from states with no relationship recognition like Utah or Wyoming come to Colorado to get a civil union, and have it recognized in their home state? What about if DOMA is struck down? Couples from surrounding states without relationship recognition could come and get a civil union in Colorado; however, it would most likely not be recognized under their state laws. If DOMA is determined to be unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court there is the slight potential to have some impact on this type of scenario. However, it is not expected that such a ruling would ‘force’ a state to recognize a relationship entered into in another state. ] Check out the Civil Unions 101 series at The Center >> more at glbtcolorado.org
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After winning civil unions battle, struggle for equality continues Those who achieved relationship recogonition before Colorado, warn fight is just beginning
Marvin Garcia, left, holds Kendall B. Rice’s hands as they listen to testimony for and against the civil union legislation at a Senate Judiciary Hearing Jan. 31. Photo by Evan Semon/Out Front
B
e prepared. For anything. That’s the advice from half a dozen gay rights activists from across the nation who have been where Colorado’s gay and lesbian community is about to find itself: on the winning side of a long-fought political battle for relationship recognition. From Vermont to Illinois, from New Jersey to Washington, statewide LGBT advocacy leaders interviewed by Out Front during the months leading up to the passage of the Colorado Civil Union Act agree: organizations like One Colorado, the GLBT Community Center of Colorado and the community at large will have the privilege and responsibility to celebrate the passage of the civil unions legislation, educate the gay and lesbian community on what civil unions provide, defend the law from misinformation and chart a course for full marriage equality – all at once. “The idea that there are loving and committed gay couples, that idea is ground–shifting,” said Equality Illinois CEO Bernard Cherkasov. “This law isn’t just for gay couples in Chicago. This was a wake-up call for many of our elected officials.” Equality Illinois led the fight for a civil unions law there in 2011 and is currently working to pass full marriage equality legislation. More than 5,000 Illinois civil union
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licenses were issued in the first year they were allowed, Cherkasov said. After the bill was signed into law, his organization defended seven attempts to weaken or repeal it, worked with government agencies including the Department of Revenue to ensure the law was implemented correctly, and educated the LGBT community on what civil unions offered. And that was just the beginning, Cherkasov said. “We always knew full equality was full equality, including ‘verbiage.’” Or, what some people like to call “marriage.” So Equality Illinois launched a study to track how the state responded to couples that had entered into civil unions. “In every single area of the law, civil unions have failed,” Cherkasov said. The results of the study were published in a report “Strangers in the eyes of the law,” and have been used to argue for full marriage equality. More than 1,000 couples participated. As of March 20, the marriage equality bill had passed the Illinois Senate and was being debated in the House of Representatives. Garden State Equality’s Executive Director Troy Stevenson echoed Cherkasov’s perspective from New Jersey. “Our experience in New Jersey is that discrimination continues,” he said. More than a decade ago, New Jersey was one of the first states to offer
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
domestic partnerships. But a legal decision by the state Supreme Court said gay couples needed the same rights as married couples. Civil unions, providing those rights by a different name, have been issued in New Jersey since 2006. And equality there is “stuck in a holding pattern,” Stevenson said, because Gov. Chris Christie, a Republican, has vowed to veto any marriage legislation. But Stevenson said his group is working to muster up enough votes to override a veto with a supermajority in the legislature. He hopes to have enough support by the end of 2013. He said LGBT rights organizations like his and One Colorado are at their best when they’re pushing multiple pieces of policy and education initiatives, and was quick to remind full equality does end with marriage. “The bullying issue is neverending,” he said, despite New Jersey having one of the most inclusive anti–bullying laws in the nation. “Until there is complete inclusivity in society, we can never rest.” And while the incremental approach to full marriage equality has been criticized, Josh Friedes, spokesman for Equal Rights Washington, said it could work in a community’s favor. “The question is, how do you move the ball forward toward marriage?” he said. “Domestic partnerships, civil unions,
BY NIC GARCIA
are a great opportunity to educate about the love, commitment and concerns of same-sex couples.” And full marriage equality must be the goal, said John Becker of Vermont Freedom to Marry. “We have a long history in this nation of where we’ve tried separate but equal. And it doesn’t work,” he said. Vermont invented the civil union in 1999 as the first state to allow them. A decade later, the legislature wrote full marriage equality into law. “Marriage says we’re family,” Becker said. But what sets Colorado apart from most of the states that have come to pass full marriage equality is the state’s voter-approved constitutional Amendment 43 approved in 2006 – defining marriage between a man and a woman. Voters here would need to overturn that amendment, or it would need to struck down by a court. But for a couple to take a case to court arguing that being limited to a civil union is discriminatory, civil unions must be in place first. Two marriage equality cases to be heard by the United State’s Supreme Court are adding to the complexity of a potential effort to overturn Colorado’s Amendment 43. One case challenges California’s Proposition 8, the other challenges the Federal Defense of Marriage Act. “We won’t know the best way to achieve marriage for same-sex couples in Colorado until we know how the Supreme Court rules on the cases before them,” said One Colorado’s Executive Director Brad Clark. Decisions on the two cases are expected by late June. But in an email interview with Out Front, Clark doesn’t skirt the end goal: marriage equality. “Civil unions is a historic victory for our community, but more work remains to be done – to create safe and inclusive schools, to increase access to healthcare, to secure full recognition for our families, to achieve a more just Colorado.” One last piece of advice, no matter the cause, from Vermont’s Becker: keep talking. “The one thing that turned the tide in Vermont was all the conversations,” he said. ]
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MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
Continued from page 2
State Sen. Pat Steadman, center, celebrates after his civil union bill was sent to the governor. Photo by Sean Mullins/Out Front “I’m done pleading,” Colorado Springs lesbian Lisa Green said at a February 2013 House Judiciary Committee “… My right to love is not yours to judge, and my right to equality is not yours to withhold.” While the 2013 version did spell out religious exemptions for ordained clergy, it did not include similar statutes for child placement agencies like previous versions of the law did. “This bill does not protect faithbased child placing agencies – and it’s critical that it does,” said Kellie Fiedorek of the Alliance Defending Freedom organization, an affiliate of the Colorado Springs–based Focus on the Family, at the same hearing. The bill’s sponsors said they were no longer interested in a compromise that included the possibility to discrimination. ––––––––––––––––––––––––––– In this political theater, there were plenty of heroes and villains to go around – it just depended upon whom you asked. In the Senate there was Steadman, the great orator who first hypothesized the potential inequality he and his partner would face if the worse were to happen. Then it did. Dave Misner, Steadman’s partner for more than a decade, died in September 2012 after a brief battle with pancreatic cancer. Across the aisle in the same chamber, there was Lundberg, the most vocal opponent of the civil union legislation. Despite being in the minority party all three years the legislation was introduced, Lundberg would stop at nothing to weaken the bill with amendments and made no pretense: he wanted the bill to fail. In 2012, when Lundberg learned a colleague on the House Judiciary Committee was prepared to vote for the bill, giving it a path to a full up-or-down vote, he went straight to the conservative media to trash the
lawmaker in hopes the pressure would change her vote. In the House there was Ferrandino, the geek with the heart of gold, who wanted nothing more than to create a security blanket for the daughter he and his partner had never met – until last summer when little Lila came into their lives through a foster care program. There was former Speaker of the House Frank McNulty, too. Never considered a deeply religious man, but conservative through and through, it was his fumbling of the waning days of the General Assembly in 2012 – putting the House in recess to block a debate of the bill – that sealed his political legacy and added fuel to the already raging fire of progressives bent on taking back the House after the Democrats lost control in 2010. Despite the deep political divide, supporters of the bill argued at each juncture the issue was never a blue issue or a red issue, but a purple issue. Sure enough: there were Republicans like former state Sen. Jean White and former state Rep. Don Beezley who, citing their conservative values, voted for the bill in previous years. Just as there were gay couples like Tom Carllon and Gabe Martinez who opposed the bill in 2011 because they called it a “crude parallel to marriage.” ––––––––––––––––––––––––––– And as mundane as the talking points and debate from both sides could be at times, there were plenty of surprises along the way. Like in 2011 when Rosina Kovar gave graphic testimony on “anus sex.” Or, in 2013, when gay Republican Alexander Hornaday told GOP lawmakers, “I told you so.” And the explanation of a Loveland Republican, B.J. Nikkel, on why she voted for the Colorado Civil Union Act in 2012: “It was simply the right thing to do.” ]
MARCH 22, 2013 | SPECIAL EDITION
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Now we are faced with that question of the ages, “What are we going to call our civil union spouses?” Never fear, I am queer and I am here with your answers.
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april 3 , 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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It only took a year, and the dethroning of a speaker of the house bully, but Colorado civil unions are finally here. Hip, hip, hoo-gay! Now we are faced with that question of the ages, “What are we going to call our civil union spouses?” Never fear, I am queer and I am here with your answers. In the days when gay meant jolly and carefree, homos shacked up with each other. Spouses were “roommates,” “friends” and “partners.” People talked in hushed tones about those unmarried spinsters down the street who never could find a husband, bless their hearts. But they sure could keep a car running. Or they shopped the antique store run by those business partners who lived above the shop and had the most amazing talent for locating Queen Anne furniture. Along came the sexual revolution of the ’60s and ’70s and gays were all up in your face introducing to you their “lovers” and “live-in partners.” The political correctness of the ’80s and ’90s had us softening the slang to “significant other” and “long-time companion.” Gay marriage took the main stage in the ’00s and now people were freely tossing out “spouse,” “husband” and “wife.” And those terms would be perfect for Colorado today, except our state constitution discriminates against us and we still cannot marry each other. Come May 1, we’ll have civil unions. Until the U.S. Supreme Court rules otherwise, it’s the best we can do. So what DO you call your civil union other half? I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I think I have the perfect
solution. But I must warn you; the ladies are not going to like it. CUM – Yes, allow me to introduce you to my Civil Union Mate. Works great for the guys, but your probably not going to see C.U.M. coming out of many lesbians’ mouths. Let’s see what we can do for the ladies: CUB – Civil Union Babe. Could work, but I think bears and daddies have dibs on that one. CUD – Civil Union Darling. While the ability to lactate is common between the two, the similarities stop there and I don’t think too many women want the image of bovine chewing when they mention who they love. CUF – Civil Union Friend. While I like the reference to bondage, that girl you’ve been humping is more than just a friend. CUP – Civil Union Partner. She is my CUP, because it does runneth over. Way too Elizabethan. This is not going the way I had hoped at all. Perhaps we should just stick to the old standbys of “husband” or “wife.” If we start using those terms, the world will eventually see that for all intent and purpose, we indeed are married, no matter how the law defines it. Stay tuned for my next column where I will tackle the mess of “How does one get un–civilunioned and what do we call it?” We have divorce courts, but what will you call it when you and your civil union partner are breaking up? “We are getting uncivilized.” Could work. ]
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WHEN: Sunday, April 7 from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. CHECK-IN TIMES FOR ENTERTAINERS (No late check-ins allowed): DJs: 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. Miscellaneous performers: 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. Go-go dancers: 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. WHERE: Club Vinyl, 1082 Broadway HOW: All participants will be judged by a panel of special guests, including local celebrities, drag icons, international DJs, and professional dancers. Don’t be intimidated – the auditions are still about FUN! You’re advised to bring a smile, a shining attitude and your best friends. Please note there are a few instructions and rules that must be observed before your audition! If you’re interested, please visit the official PrideFest audition Facebook page at ofcnow.co/iGP ]
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THriVe
‘‘
Just like in mainstream society, yoga studios are not immune from sexism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. We want to create a place where all bodies are welcomed and celebrated ... – Sarah Lyons
Queer and Trans Yoga meets Sunday nights from 6:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the CHUN building, 1290 Williams St. Also available is Queerdalini Yoga, which begins at 6 p.m. Monday nights at The Center, 1301 E. Colfax Ave. Piper Rose’s community yoga class (open to all) is every Saturday at 10:30 p.m. at The Mercury Cafe, 2199 California St.
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Yogay
New queer and trans yoga group offers a safe and supported workout By Josiah M. Hesse
Piper Rose is an energetic and charmingly eccentric presence in Denver’s queer community. Often found emceeing events like Damn Gurl or female music festival, Titwrench, hanging on stage with queer rapper Kitty Crimes, or hosting her Werkout Palace series, a self described “Richard Simmons on LSD” yoga series easily mistaken for a rock concert, (which will be putting out a Lesbian Face Yoga video this summer, designed for women suffering stiff-jaws from ... ya know). Lately Rose has trained her Y skills more specifically on the queer citizens of Denver, co-founding Queer and Trans Yoga, a new series that debuted this month. “Yoga is a tool that anyone can use,” Rose said. “It’s a neutral tool, and it can be used in any specific way that a person needs to find healing or expression in their body. It can be designed for veterans, cancer patients, or HIV/AIDS patients. Our queer yoga instructors will introduce themes relevant to our community into the classes, like coming out, transitioning, or feeling ostracized.” Joining forces with fellow instructor Sarah Lyons, this yoga series will meet Sunday nights at the CHUN Building, and will be geared toward not only providing a safe, social space for queer and transgender persons, but will gear its routines toward the cultural and physical implications of this sexuality. This is nothing new as far as yoga is concerned. Beyond the themed classes that Rose listed, often mainstream yoga instructors will design a class for gender binaries, referencing certain poses as “good for opening up a woman’s hips” or that “males will find this pose more difficult than women,” comments that can make students with a more fluid gender identity feel irrelevant to the class. Rose points out that approaching a yoga class as a complete stranger can be awkward for anyone, not just sexual minorities, since confronting body image and physical health in public can be a universal discomfort. Yet these issues are be compounded for many queer or trans persons forced to deal with gender binary bathrooms, where the necessary
[ [ liVinG ] ]
change-of-clothes before a class can lead to self-conscious stress – which is the exact opposite reason you came to yoga in the first place. “Yoga offers so many benefits to everyone, but your typical studio or gym can fail in many ways at providing what some queer and trans people need to feel safe and supported,” said Q&T Yoga co-founder and instructor, Sarah Lyons, who studied under instructor Jacoby Ballard, a pioneer of queer and trans yoga in New York. “Just like in mainstream society, yoga studios are not immune from sexism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. We want to create a place where all bodies are welcomed and celebrated, where there’s more diversity than ‘skinny’ or ‘female.’ One of the most striking things about these classes is that they are fun. People laugh and talk to each other. Forget the serious yoga face. Students relate to each other, make connections, make plans.” At times, queer-centric events can come under criticism from misguided heterosexuals, who claim exclusion when certain dance parties or bicycle workshops request that only persons of a certain orientation attend. Though Rose insists that there are no shortage of community yoga classes are welcoming to all genders and sexualities. While mainstream yoga classes can often take a big bite out of your wallet, Queer and Trans Yoga is donation-based, assuring that the series is class-neutral as well as gender-neutral. And while Rose is committed to providing a space that caters to the needs of the queer and trans community, she is equally adamant that these classes should be a springboard toward creating your own safe space wherever you go. “We create a space for people to find their own personal sense of strength and freedom, in order to go out into the world. The idea is that this wont be the only place they feel comfortable in, but through that connection to themselves, they can make a safe space that travels with them.” ]
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METRO LIFE
By Noelle Leavitt Riley
Re-energize your space with feng shui Spring has sprung, and one way to rejuvenate your home is to follow a few simple and inexpensive tips from local feng shui experts. Feng shui is a 6,000-year-old Chinese practice that focuses on rearranging one’s physical environment to create positive energy in spaces. “It’s really about understanding that we are integrally connected to our things,” said Lorrie Grillo, owner of Thriving Spaces, a Denver-based interior design business. “All things are alive with energy. We are all alive with energy.” Rearranging decorations or decluttering is important to practice with the changing seasons. “Just like we change our clothes in the spring, our houses like to get changed for the season too,” Grillo said. “Try new things. I don’t think you can make a mistake when your intention is to create positive energy.” A good place to start practicing feng shui is on the front porch. “Springtime is a great time to wash your door, and change the mat. Sweep your porch and put out pots of flowers or stone statues,” Grillo said, noting that it’s important to make yourself and others smile when approaching the front door. It’s all about creating a positive energy (chi) at the entrance of a
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home so that energy continues to move throughout the house. The living room is often the focal point of the house, so ensuring that furniture, rugs and coffee tables are arranged in a way that doesn’t create obstacles is important, said Boulderbased Eiko Okura, who has practiced the art of feng shui for more than 25 years in Colorado. She tells clients to look around their rooms and evaluate each item. “Does it have a memory of joy and happiness, or sadness, or a breakup?” If particular elements in the room hold bad memories, replace them with things that bring happiness and positive chi. “In the spring, you can change from warm colors to cool colors,” Okura said. Change the pillows on the couch, get new books about gardening in the spring on the coffee table and use lace curtains instead of heavy drapes. Another way to bring life to the living room is by getting a bird feeder or bird bath to hang outside the window and observe the birds that change with the seasons, Okura said. “You become part of the ecosystem. You become one part that is supporting the other part of life,” she said. “You can merge yourself into the nature around you.”
[ [ Living ] ]
The same is true for practicing feng shui in the bedroom. “The bedroom needs to be quiet and peaceful to have a good nights sleep and be passionate,” Okura said. “It’s where we dream and make love.” In the spring, cool color linens and bedspreads or a nice bouquet of flowers can lighten the room. It’s also strongly recommended that the bed is placed in a commanding position, meaning your head is supported by a solid wall or headboard. ”You want to feel safe and secure. No surprises,” Okura said Try not to have the bed in a position where your feet are pointing toward the door. “The chi, the positive life energy comes in and out through the souls of our feet, so when we have the souls of our feet directly pointed toward the door, the chi leaks out the door. That means your body is not regenerating as you are sleeping, and you feel drained when you wake up,” Okura said. The most important way to create positive feng shui in the bedroom any season of the year is by eliminating a television, she said. “Your brain becomes too stimulated from that blue light,” Okura said. Take time to think about what you want your home to say about you. ]
parenTing
Dealingwith trauma as a family What is wrong with me? What is wrong with us? Is there anything even wrong? So many questions, but not a lot of answers. I was recently diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder and anxiety. After many tears, hours of research and hundreds of questions, I now have a better understanding as to why the doctors came to their conclusion. My biggest concern in learning about my diagnosis was that I knew the same abuse I experienced affected my children, too. As I watched their lives unfold in front of me I could not help but ask questions about how this would affect them. Two of my children have the same parents. Both witnessed and were victims to physical, verbal and emotional abuse at an early age. And now, both have confessed their individual attractions to the same-sex. I watched how my daughter smiled and then drifted off into a daydream when she saw displays of affection between same-sex couples. I watched how my son tried to mimic me, by dressing like me and putting on makeup as I prepared for the day. They too were recently diagnosed with PTSD. Could their diagnosis be affecting their sexual preference? Were they born this way? Or is this a phase that all children go through and I’m just being hyper sensitive?
I went against the pediatricians’ Those were the questions I posed to advice and decided to seek professional my children’s pediatrician. help for my entire family sooner than Regardless of the answer, my love for later. Although I think she had good them will not change, but my gut feeling intentions on waiting to see how life led to an uneasiness about this common unfolds, as a mother, when I am made denominator and the answer that I got aware of a concern or a problem, it is not confirmed my gut feeling. my nature to sit back and let the issue PTSD just might be affecting their unfold, but instead do something about sexual preference. After a series of quesit; whether it be professional help or a tions about both of my children and Jasmine Peters personal action plan. sharing details about the abuse, what Of course that is also contingent on the urgency they saw or were subjected to, the doctor’s advice was that I watch both of them as they continue to of the matter and to me this situation was urgent. April is PTSD awareness month. I wanted to grow and develop. I would then come back in about a year to check bring awareness to this often debilitating diagnoin and if things hadn’t changed, the plan is for us sis, by sharing my family’s personal journey. As to discuss getting the two of them professional with all stories, I hope that this story will make someone else feel less alone, or at least bring more treatment. The doctor reassured me that no research has awareness to it. My motto has always been: If we weren’t born been formally done on the matter, nor does this mean there is truly something wrong with my children. with it then we can surely overcome it. ] Her reassurance didn’t soothe my emotions as I wasn’t concerned about formal research, nor did I Jasmine Peters is the founder of Parenting Wellness Center, a certified life coach, an ordained think something was wrong with my children. My deeper issue was how to overcome the PTSD, non-denominational pastor, author and single parent of five. ^ Reach her through her website at Parent both personally and with my family. I don’t want to simply cope or deal with it; I truly ingWellnessCenter.com. To read more articles on want to overcome the obstacle. parenting, visit ofcnow.co/ijZ.
[ [ Living ] ]
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Continued from page 20 SEPT. 21, 2010 – After a series of publicized gay teen suicides related to bullying, Dan Savage posts a video online of himself and husband Terry Miller telling young LGBT people that “It Gets Better.” The campaign spreads rapidly and numerous celebrities, politicians and public officials, including President Barack Obama, release their own videos with words of encouragement for bullied youth.
President Obama’s online video telling LGBT youth “It Gets Better.”
2011-2012 – Leading up to the 2012 presidential election, several GOP presidential candidates advocating anti-gay policies are “glitter-bombed” by various LGBT activists. Candidates Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann are famously targeted, but eventually so is gay commentator Dan Savage for statements seen as offensive to transgender individuals, conservative activist Randal Terry, and political operative Karl Rove. 2011 – Gay Colorado state Sen. Pat Steadman, formerly an activist who worked to overturn Amendment 2 and later to authorize same-sex partnerships in Colorado through Referendum I, introduces a bill for civil unions in the state legislature, sparking a series of rallies each time the bill is headed for crucial votes. Demonstrations at the state capitol are organized by a new LGBT advocacy organization and lobbying group, One Colorado. The civil unions bill is defeated in 2011 and 2012 before it passes in 2013. MAY 9, 2012 – President Obama publicly endorses same-sex marriage, the first sitting president to do so. NOV. 6, 2012 – With street-level voter outreach and big financial support, LGBT activists furious about Republican obstruction of a civil unions bill in the state House focus on the 2012 elections to help usher in a strong majority of state legislators supportive of same-sex unions, including eight who are openly lesbian or gay. MARCH 21, 2013 – Civil Unions becomes law in Colorado. ]
Gov. John Hickenlooper signs civil unions into law.
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[ [ Living ] ]
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FeaTUre / on THe SCene the
Continued from page 21
SCOTUS rally Sergeant First Class Luiza Fritz called my girlfriend. I called my mom. ‘Oh my God! I got it! I got it! I got it!’” Her next call was to the Army recruiter. They scheduled Fritz to meet the next day. “The coolest thing that he [the Army recruiter] said to me when I walked in with that report: ‘Well, let’s get you back in the Army.’” Fritz finalized her medical paperwork at the Military Entrance Processing Station in downtown Denver. While there, younger recruits asked Fritz why she was discharged. When Fritz responded that she was a DADT discharge, “half of them didn’t know what that meant. They had this weird look on their face, asking why.” On Tuesday, March 26 at 1100 hours, Sergeant First Class Luiza Fritz raised her right hand and took the oath of enlistment, officially becoming a member of the United States Army, again. She will be stationed with the 1-104th M.P. Regiment in Aurora as a military police instructor, retaining the same rank she had when she was discharged. “Keep pushing and keep cutting that red tape,” Fritz said to other servicemembers still struggling to get back into the military. “Do it. Go. If it takes 14,000 phone calls, make them.” And to the gay servicemembers who are currently serving, Fritz had one more piece of advice. “Be a soldier first. Be gay second. Because being a soldier is more important.” When asked if her mother would fly the American flag this year, Fritz responded: “If I go home for the 4th of July this year, we’ll get it out together and put it up.” ]
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[ [ Living ] ]
Photos by Charles Broshous
gaY aeSTHeTiC
BEAUTY
BB Creams —
a makeup made for men By Kelsey Lindsey, the Boulderite Beauty
OK men, let’s talk about makeup. Not big fake eyelashes or glitter – I’m talking about the natural kind, and one you’ll find specifically marketed for you. Too good to be true? Think again. With the release of the celebrated makeup miracle BB cream, men can now have the flawless complexion of their other-gender sisters, without having to don a wig at the same time. Short for Beauty Balm, BB cream is an all-inone moisturizer, primer, serum, and (in some cases) sunblock. Tinted to match the color of one’s skin tone, it provides sheer coverage of any imperfections while keeping skin smooth and oil-free for the day. Because it is semitransparent, it’s barely noticeable to the casual observer, making your flawless complexion pass as your own naturally radiant skin rather than the work of cover up or foundation. Below are some of the best BB creams out on the market, formulated to agree with a wide variety of complexions and skin tones.
Lab Series BB Tinted Moisturizer Broad Spectrum SPF 35 ($38.50, labseries.com): Created specifically for men, this moisturizer comes in a universal shade that adjusts to any skin tone, making sure you have the most natural look possible. With a good amount of SPF, it can also be used as an anti-aging product, reducing the appearance of lines and sun damage. Dr. Jart+ Water Fuse Beauty Balm SPF 15 ($34, sephora.com): Fragrance-free and sulfate-free, this treatment serum is perfect for sensitive skin, as it is infused with a delicate lotion that helps neutralize redness. Adjusting to any color of skin tone, this moisturizer is made with 50 percent water, keeping your skin hydrated even in the driest of Colorado winters. Stila Stay All Day 10-in-1 HD Beauty Balm ($38, stilacosmetics.com): Claiming to reduce the appearance of wrinkle depth by 84 percent, this lotion contains tiny microspheres and is enriched with Tripeptide-37 to help diminish fine lines and blemishes. Its
[ [ Living ] ]
powdery finish helps guarantee discreetness, while controlling oil and reducing pore size. L’Oréal Paris Magic Skin Beautifier BB Cream ($10.95, Target): Provided in four different skin tones, from light to deep, this cream adjusts perfectly to your unique skin color through its “magic” beautifying beads. Containing antioxidants and vitamins C and E, it also moisturizes, leaving skin smooth and oil-free. Maybelline Dream Fresh BB Sunscreen ($8.25, Target): Just because this is the cheapest BB cream of the bunch doesn’t mean that it’s lacking in quality. This tinted moisturizer protects against damaging UV rays while evening skin tone, thanks to its oil-free formula and SPF 30. Available in five different shades, it also provides sheer, lightweight coverage for a smooth face that will last all day. ]
^ Reach Kelsey by email at Kelsey@OutFrontOnline. com. For more beauty, visit ofcnow.co/dgw.
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GET ACTIVE
LGBT organizations that create movement, change and fun Colorado AIDS Project CAP is a service organization that works to meet the needs of people affected by HIV through prevention, care and advocacy in the state. Get involved/More info: ColoradoAIDSProject.org
Front Range Bears The Front Range Bears is a social group for hirsute men and their admirers. Every year they sponsor Octobearfest, a 3-4 day international gathering of bears. Accepting new members! Get involved/More info: FrontRangeBears.org
Colorado Anti-Violence Program The Colorado Anti-Violence Program is a nonprofit and service oriented group that works to build safety and justice for the LGBT community through advocacy, youth organization, training and education of the community. Get involved/More info: COAVP.org
Gender Identity Center of Colorado The GIC of Colorado is a nonprofit organization that provides support, outreach and advocacy to anyone gender variant in their gender identity and expression. Get involved/More: GicOfColo.org
Colorado Gay Rodeo Association This CGRA is the oldest gay rodeo association in North America and puts on the annual Rocky Mountain Regional Rodeo each year, and donates a scholarship fund to a different student each year in memory of the organization’s founder, Wayne Jakino. Get involved/More info: CGRA.ws Babes Around Denver Babes Around Denver is a group focused on connecting the female community. Get involved by joining the revolutionary First Friday celebrations at Tracks! Get involved/More info: BabesArounDenver.com Denver Boys Of Leather The Denver Boys of Leather is a group of self-identified leatherboys. The purpose is to gather in brotherhood and boyhood, supporting members and the community with respect and integrity. Get involved/More info: DenverBoysOfLeather.org Denver Gay Men’s Chorus A chorale group that exists to build community through music. The members join in the making of an artistic statement that creates a positive contribution in the arts to the LGBT community. Auditions are always open! Get involved/More info: Rmarts.org/DGMC.php Denver Gay Professionals The Denver Gay Professionals is a networking community whose mission is to continually provide a highly-creative and social environment where members and guests are encouraged to network. By promoting business contacts and relationships, the GLBT professionals in the network advocate for one another and advocate and champion inclusivity. Get involved/More info: DenverGayProfessionals.com
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[ [ Living ] ]
Hip Chicks Out Hip Chicks Out is a social group for women, founded in 2005. Join the female revolution with the HipChicksOut Crashers. Get involved by joining the party every 2nd Friday of the month at the Living Room. Get involved/More info: HipChicksOut.com HRC Colorado The Human Rights Campaign in Colorado fights for equality for all LGBT folks alongside groups and lawmakers in the state. HRC is always looking for more volunteers. Get involved/More: HRC.org/states/Colorado Keshet Keshet is a national grassroots organization that works for the full equality and inclusion of LGBT Jews in Jewish life. Get invloved/More info: KeshetOnline.org Mile High Freedom Band The MHFB is a charitable organization that serves the LGBT community through quality music. The band is open to ALL who respect the diversities in life, including the LGBT community. Auditions are always open! Get involved/More info: MHFB.org Project Angel Heart An organization that delivers nutritious meals to those living with life threatening illnesses. Get involved by giving back and volunteering! Get involved/More info: ProjectAngelHeart.org The GLBT Community Center of Colorado The state’s largest center for the entire LGBT community. With programs like SAGE (an elder’s program), Rainbow Alley (Youth program), Transgender and Legal Advocacy programs, The Center works to provide support and advocacy for all of Colorado’s diverse LGBT community. The Center also serves as a community organizer of events, support services, social activities and cultural events, including the annual PrideFest and parade. Get involved/More info: GLBTColorado.org
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‘‘
SeXUaLiTY
aSK THe SeXperT
Shades of kink
Penetration. When you really think about it, the power of the definition and the action means something different for everyone.
The power of penetration By Lauren Archuletta
P
enetration: a word we’ve all come to be extremely and intimately familiar with as we talk about sexuality. No matter where you may fall on the spectrum of sexual orientation, chances are both the word and the action play a big role in what you think of as “sex.” At some point in human history, somebody realized that the act of penetration was something that felt good and natural for far more than just reproductive purposes. Ever since this discovery, we’ve continued to use this model of penetrating for pleasure. But why do our minds and bodies respond in such a manner? I believe that with the term penetration also goes hand in hand with the word performance. Maybe it’s a gender performance – a demonstration of masculinity. Or perhaps it’s the most gender-neutral action there is, since it appears in sex acts of any combination of gender. But depending on who you are, the partners you choose and the type of sexual “role” you play in the bedroom, penetration takes its place in the art of performance. For the heterosexual man, for example, penetration can be a symbol of power. “For me, penetration is something that I’m in control of,” Parker Davis said. Davis, a heterosexual 20-something considers himself a ladies man in the heart of a sexual playground in New York City. “I control the penetration, the power is literally in me. But – “At the same time,” he continued, “I think penetration is also about the connection of the energy between the two partners and the love uniting and becoming one,” Davis said. “It’s like I can feel the passion and I feel at one with her.” Penetration can mean something entirely different for the homosexual male, however.
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“There’s a lot of debate between the penetrative partner vs. the non-penetrative partner in gay relationships,” said Luis Montalongo, a 23-year-old Denver resident. “Like, does it make me less of a man because I assume a passive role?” Penetration is more than just the heterosexual and homosexual roles that we normally associate with it. There is a mystique to penetration that one Out Front Reader was willing to talk about, including the role reversal of penetration, and the addition of a strap on. Carrie is a 32-year-old woman living in the Cherry Creek district of Denver. She has been engaged to her fiancé Scott since 2011. Carrie describes her relationship with Scott as “heterosexual with a twist.” “We first experimented with a strap-on this past summer,” Carrie said. “I wouldn’t necessarily say that things were becoming more dull with our relationship, but there was definitely an element that we were lacking.” Carrie said that when Scott first asked her to use a strap on, the idea of penetrating her lover was initially daunting. “I didn’t know what to think,” Carrie said. “I didn’t know what role I was playing anymore – was I the man or the woman? Was my fiancé gay? Was he bisexual? Was I not turning him on anymore? It was a conversation I felt I needed to have before I could consider incorporating this phallic object into our sexual routine.” Carrie said that after the conversation with Scott, she learned that while he wasn’t lusting after other men, he was just interested in the act of penetration. “It’s something that feels good to him,” Carrie said. “And I can understand that. We use the act of penetration in sex because it feels good.” Mistress Ginger Bellatrix, a former dominatrix in Seattle, says penetration has two entirely different meanings to her. “When I’m with my girlfriend, penetration is something we do to share a sexual experience together,” Ginger said. “Wearing a strap on with her is separate than practicing femdom with another individual.” Bellatrix used to practice BDSM in a sexual manner, wearing strap ons with clients who preferred penetration. “Wearing a strap on in the BDSM world is a sign of power,” Bellatrix said. “Penetrating someone in that fashion is a demonstration of domination. But the word ‘penetration’ has a different meaning with my girlfriend. I don’t want to dominate her (all the time). I want to share something special with her. I want to be as close as I possibly can to her.” Penetration. When you really think about it, the power of the definition and the action means something different for everyone. ]
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Email to Lauren@OutFrontOnline.com. For related articles on sexuality, visit ofcnow.co/ltS.
apriL 3 , 2013 | outfrontonLine.com
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Hi Shanna-
Shanna Katz
So I finally got around to reading the ridiculously popular book Fifty Shades of Grey. While I wasn’t the hugest fan of the writing or male dominant heteronormativity of the book, I thought that whole kinky thing was kind of hot, and wanted to know how I could work on introducing the concept to my girlfriend to see if she might be into it too. Any ideas? – Working Out the Kinks in Westminster
Dear Working Out the KinksWhile some people have been shocked at the popularity of this book, it just goes to show how widespread this interest in various forms of kink can be. Before you just decide to go whole hog and outfit a dungeon in your home, I suggest thinking about what types of kink specifically made you wiggle in your chair. Was it the bondage? The spanking? The public sexuality? The power dynamics? While some folks are into lots of different things, others find that only specific things that are kinky get their motors going, and they could take or leave the rest. Once you figure out what you’re into, consider having a conversation with your partner about it, but not in the middle of sexual play time. Perhaps over dinner, or even while cuddling in bed or watching TV, ask her what she thinks about the idea of being tied up or tying someone up, or if she could see how spanking someone might be a turn on. You can also take some time to each write out one of your fantasies, and then switch and read them, or take a date night to browse the kinkier toys at Fascinations, the Crypt or online at Stockroom.com. Lastly, remember that not everyone is into all of the kinky stuff, or even any of it. If your girlfriend kindly tells you that she’s happy you discovered your interest, but doesn’t want to pursue it, you have to remember that no is no, and work on enjoying all of the other exciting things in your relationship. ] Best of luck in supporting your sexual explorations. – Shanna
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Have a question you’d like to ask Shanna (anonymously)? Email shannakatz@gmail. com. Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a Colorado native, fierce femme and board certified sexologist. She believes strongly in open source, accessible sexuality education, and loves teaching adults how to optimize their sex lives. For more info, visit ShannaKatz.com.
HEINZESIGHT
Searching for the wrong soul mate Many times when we’re looking for a boyfriend, partner, husband, date or just a reliable friend–with–benefits, we hope for a person who makes our eyes bug out and groin pulse with anxious excitement – but it’s unfortunate that many times when this happens, that physical amazement isn’t enough to forge an exciting relationship and our interest quickly fades. If you are looking to causally date, then a high level of compatibility doesn’t necessarily need to be there. You can focus on physical attraction and enjoyment of activities, while philosophical beliefs and childhood traumas don’t matter as much. When someone is truly looking for a person to explore a deeper relationship, there are infinitely more factors that are even more important to assess than physical attraction. Of course, we generally begin our search by looking for someone physically attractive. There is nothing wrong with desiring an attractive person, but this may one of the most significant stumbling blocks in finding a great guy. Strange enough, some of the most fulfilling and long-lasting relationships may not
be with the spitting image of the person you imagined. Much of relationship compatibility comes from a variety of other aspects. One of the biggest parts of online matchmaking websites is matching profiles based on analyzing multiple compatibilities including beliefs, interests, perceptions, dirty activities and life goals. I understand that there has to be something that initially attracts you to that person. In truth, physical attraction is usually one of the first things that smacks us across the face. But much like any advertisement, the visual component can be appealing, but the quality, taste, smell, consistency, availability, and satisfaction of that product will dictate if a person will keep coming back for more. There are quirks and neurotic behaviors that each of us possess that make us strange and unique. We all have issues and challenges that have hurt and empowered us. As far as our past, remember it is important to have complimentary baggage, but it doesn’t need to match. Having many of the same concerns doesn’t necessarily help a relationship grow and flourish. It is absolutely crucial to have effective
[ [ Living ] ]
and lead people into doing and healthy communication things with people that to navigate any difficulty. is outside their comfort It is also important to try to zone. There is a huge difidentify someone’s idiosynference between “good” crasies and patterns that are and “good enough.” If you intriguing, challenging, frusare on a primary hunt to trating and adorable. find a partner, you may be There is so much intricacy willing to settle for less than in relationships with other you should. Being open to people. Not only are we all Brent Heinze finding a partner is a great complicated and unique individuals, but interpersonal relationships mindset to experience, but if it leads into come with their own set of complexi- desperation in searching, you may end ties. You need to get past the superficial up with a dud instead of a stud. That amazing relationship can be beauty of someone and into their gooey center to find out if there is true compat- around the corner, but be careful about ibility. Take some time to dive inside and glossing over someone that could be a snoop around if you really want to get fantastic person in your life. Don’t get to know someone. The outer layer is the overly fixated on what Prince Studly will easiest to fake and the inside is the most look like. Be focused on finding someone important to love if you are going to find worthy of being in your life and fulfilling to be around. ] that wonderful relationship. Here is one last important thought. Get into relationship to compliment Brent Heinze, LPC, is a – not complete – you. If you feel like an licensed professional counselor. incomplete person, then work on filling Email him at PerspectiveShift@yahoo. yourself up with success and confidence. com. For more editorials by Brent, Insecurity will tear apart relationships visit ofcnow.co/xcp.
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april 3, 2013 | outfrontonline.com
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