Oak Farm Montessori February 2020
Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – E.E. Cummings
Emotional Literacy is one of four characteristics that we value in both our Portrait of a Graduate and our Portrait of a Teacher. The Vision and Values document created by Lorene Dekko Salsbery and former Head of School, Judith Cunningham, carefully outlines these characteristics. But what is emotional literacy? I want you to imagine a child from Oak Farm Montessori School. This could be your own child, a grandchild, a niece or nephew, or a child you observed as you visited our school. Do you have this child in your mind? If so, do you see a child with self-confidence? A child willing to take risks; whether that is trying something new for the first time or pushing herself to reach a place she has never been before? Do you see a child with self-understanding? A child that feels secure and comfortable in his own abilities? This might come through self-assured comments such as, “I know that,� giving a peer a lesson, or through their own presentation of knowledge. Do you see a child with self-respect? A child that cares for oneself; striving to do better for herself, without sacrificing the needs of the community? Do you see a child that is optimistic and joyful? These are all characteristics of emotionally literate children, and they are also characteristics you will see manifested in the children at Oak Farm Montessori School and modeled by the teachers and staff. While emotional literacy may look different in the toddler student compared to the young adult, emotional literacy must be fostered and nurtured; no matter the age of the child. The following pages will help you understand what emotional literacy looks like in action, across all the levels of development, at this amazing place we call our second home.
Candice
Angie Black, Toddler 2 Teacher
H e l p i n g To d d le r s i d e n t i f y t h e i r fe e l i n g s
Emotional Rescue
Toddlers are learning about the world around them, all concepts and ideas are new to them. Whether your toddler is pre-verbal or verbal, they may not always be able to identify the way they are feeling or why they are feeling that way. As adults, it is important to help them by providing appropriate words for the situation. Instead of labeling their emotions, “I see you are sad,” we can describe what we see, “I see you are crying. How are you feeling?” Visuals are a great way to help your Toddler identify their feelings, especially if they are preverbal. Pictures and cards allow them to simply point to the one that represents their feelings best, then the adult can talk about how they are feeling and what is an appropriate way to cope in the situation. Creating your own emotion cards/pictures with your Toddler allows for a fun activity together while validating that their feelings matter.
“The highest form of knowledge is empathy.” Bill Bullard
Peace begins with me Tia Matney, Primary 1 Teacher
What does Emotional Literacy look like in a Primary classroom and how will my child grow in this area of development? Emotional Literacy is the ability to understand and express feelings. It involves having self-awareness and recognition of one’s own feelings and knowing how to manage them, such as the ability to stay calm when angered or to reassure oneself when in doubt. The Primary classroom is the perfect environment to practice these skills! We use a variety of positive discipline and Montessori lessons to help the children express, communicate and understand their feelings, as well as observe when other classmates show different emotions such as: anger, sadness, or excitement. Many children at this age are just beginning to understand how to communicate these feelings. The classrooms each offer a variety of activities to help develop this skill. Some classrooms use puzzles, pictures or books, such as: “The Peace Rose� by Alicia Olson. This is a great book to help the students understand and communicate problems or know how to respond when their feelings get hurt. The students love to role play. They express how they feel, while also talking through conflicts and coming up with a peaceful solution; it gives each child a way to be heard! Many students still need an adult to help them identify certain emotions or give them the words to use when their body is showing signs of uneasiness, anger, or sadness. Emotions are also discussed during community time when students can give input on what emotions look and feel like. The Primary classrooms give these young students a foundation to expand their awareness of feelings and the vocabulary to describe them. These skills will continue to grow with practice and will support their emotional literacy throughout their lives.
The value of emotions comes from sharing them, not just having them.” simon sinek
pause and reflect Maria Rodriguez, lower elementary teacher
A big part of our work in Lower Elementary, for both teachers and students, is developing relationships with each other and building a welcoming classroom community. To this end, we spend a lot of time talking about our feelings! Labeling, accepting, listening, and understanding emotions plays a big role in our community meetings. Part of this work is discussing with the class that all emotions are valid. They are all okay, and accepted. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to be mad at a teacher, a parent, or a friend. It’s okay to feel hurt by someone’s words or actions. It’s also important to discuss and understand that while all emotions are accepted, all reactions are not. Anger is accepted. A physical response towards another person is not. Many of our students are still working on identifying and labeling how they are feeling. Identifying physical “symptoms,” practicing facial expressions, and asking open ended questions can help students reflect how how they are feeling emotionally. Linking a physical state (eg. “my face feels warm”) to an emotion (“I’m mad”) can help our students identify that same emotion in the future. After identifying and validating emotions, we can start talking about them. One way we do this is by using “I statements.” The student names their emotion, the reason, and if applicable, tells what a peer or teacher can do to make the situation better. Students use the frames “I feel ______ because….” or, “I feel ______ when you ______. Please _______.” The “please _____” statement is part of how we help students react to situations. What can we do to make this situation better? Hitting someone is not okay, even if you are mad. It also won’t solve the problem. Instead, we ask the students to pause and reflect on how the problem can be solved. Helping our students understand, process, and react to their emotions is a continuing work. We scaffold heavily in the beginning of the year, but love listening to our students use this language independently later on!
April VanOsdale, Upper 3 Teacher
When we think of school, the first thing that most people think of is academics. Sure, reading and math are subjects practiced each day; however, another important part of our day at Oak Farm Montessori School is emotional intelligence. This skill is nurtured and developed as children interact and connect with one another on our campus. A variety of relationship skills are taught and modeled in our classrooms as a result of our Peace Curriculum, which encourages healthy problem-solving and strong interpersonal skills. Within this curriculum, the skill of active listening is emphasized. This is a way to engage in a genuine two-way communication structure. It requires following dialogue and responding to others using your own body language. While resolving conflict, students are taught to be conscious of their own body language and tone, and to give each member of the conversation an opportunity to be heard. Students are also encouraged to offer thanks and praise to others when appropriate. This helps them find common ground with their peers and further develop their relationships. When children develop in the five areas of emotional literacy (self-awareness, emotional control, selfmotivation, empathy and relationship skills), they become stronger in their friendships, learning and, eventually, successful employment. We practice emotional literacy in upper elementary by fostering independence, encouraging responsibility with work and chores, and holding community time where children feel empowered to voice concerns, frustrations and celebrations with one another.
Everyday Gray Misty Schoof, Middle School Teacher “How are you feeling?” “Annoyed,” Gray says matter-of-factly.
This is his go-to emotion. Unless of course he’s bored, frustrated, or angry. We live out the family dinner scene from Pixar’s Inside Out every evening. I had to laugh when I remembered that I was writing an article on emotional literacy because this is a daily struggle in our house. Study.com defines emotional literacy as “the ability to express one’s emotional state and communicate one’s feelings.” Early on in parenthood, I understood that I would teach Gray how to brush his teeth and put on his pants, but I didn’t understand the far more important work of teaching Gray about his emotions. As an optimist, I have a difficult time empathizing with my six-year-old’s mostly dreary outlook on his world. With an amazing support team, Gray has begun his journey in emotional literacy. I routinely ask him how he is feeling and we look at pictures of emotions. He points to a face and asks, “What is this?” I say sad. He points to another face and asks, “What is this?” I say ashamed. I tell him about the happy moments in my day and the moments when I felt anxious or tired. He tells me about his mostly frustrating, sometimes ok day. This is the enduring work of emotional literacy. I hope that Gray begins to recall the bright moments: giggling with friends, playing his ukulele, finishing his sewing work, and of course, P.E. I want his clean teeth and clean pants to be overshadowed by his smile. I know that so much of emotional literacy begins with me. Recognizing and regulating my own emotions is even big work for a thirty-one-year-old. This process takes patience, grace, and a mountain of positivity. I hope to help Gray change his narrative and I look forward to his bright, not boring tomorrow. 1.
2.
“Pixar Inside Out - A Family Dinner Scene” YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjgdiy_SGjA Definition from the study.com article “What is Emotional Literacy?”
To Understand Each Other Well
Emma Kowatch, Theatre Specialist
The Beautiful Music Project, Sleeping at Last, lead by Ryan O’Neal, has a song called, “Nine” that ends with these lyrics: “We were born to try To see each other through To know and love ourselves and others well Is the most difficult and meaningful Work we’ll ever do.” I would love for these words to be the mantra of each theatre class at Oak Farm. We look at performing as a mode of sharing stories. We share a story by becoming a character that is not ourself. To perform is to communicate. To communicate well is to understand well. Theatre is the empathic practice of understanding someone else, how they think, feel, move, and act by portraying that for an audience; as honestly as possible. This work can begin inwardly by understanding yourself. How do I, the actor, the student, think, feel, and act? In lower elementary, we begin every theatre class with getting lost for a bit in a good story. Together, we see a little how someone sees the world, how they feel, and how they act. Then it is time to warm up our bodies. We stretch. We shake out. We massage our faces so they can be as expressive as we want to be! Then we play Neutral Freeze. The students plant their feet, trying to calm their excitement and channel it into focus. They stand in “neutral position”. Neutral position is a space of attention and relaxation. The body is still, the breath is steady, but the actor is ready to become anything. The students wait to hear me call out their first performance. It’s often an animal. (I’ve learned my lesson for calling out “Teacher”. When have I ever wagged a finger at them with my hand on my hip?!) I try “Jellyfish!” Their bodies come alive as they move about the room in swaying, wiggling motions, stinging each other, improving lines of dialogue. Then I call, “Neutral!” and as fast as they can, they return to their spot in neutral position. The last to return is out and must sit down.
I explain all of this because of the important work that happens when I call out an emotion. “Discouraged!”: Their shoulders collectively drop, mouths turn down, movements are slow, words turn long and whiny. Some students go for over the top, dramatic, comedic expressions even. While others go for subtle, honest interpretations. “Amazed!” Now hands clasp cheeks, expressions grow too big for their faces, there is twirling, dancing, and running. Their dialogue turns fast, loud, bouncing back and forth. There is a lightness, weightlessness to their movements. They are bringing an awareness to what their bodies do when they feel different emotions. The more aware we can be of the various assortments of “clues” or “signals” our bodies express when we feel different emotions, the more we can recognize those feelings in others. Sure, some excellent acting skills begin to form here, but far more rewarding is that empathy sprouts in this emotional awareness and recognition. A simple exercise in character work, but also in some plain, good, ol’ empathy: Whenever you read with your child, take time to unpack the characters you meet. Dig into questions like, “What is this character feeling right now?” “Why do you think this character feels this way?” “When have you ever felt this way? Then get them on their performing feet! “How would you show this emotion with your face, your body, your voice?”
“Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. It is important to know how to feel, how to respond and how to let life in so that it can touch you.” jim rohn
ter
R l o a l l n e o r i c t o o as m E
Wesley Kromer, High School Teacher
February can be a hard month in which to find joy. When you look outside, the sky is often grey while the ground is snowy and the air is cold and windy. Blah! It doesn’t look at all like a day for amazing things to happen. This climate can make it hard to choose to do our work with a joyful heart. Are you ever folding your laundry or preparing for a lesson and suddenly realize you have a bad attitude? Sometimes we don’t even realize we have a negative heart until it is pointed out to us. Is it possible we are not always aware of our emotions? Adolescent life can be an emotional rollercoaster; with ups and downs happening just about as fast as the Top-Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point (17 seconds to be exact!). At the secondary level we deal with these emotional rollercoasters on an almost daily account. I often ask myself, “Is there anything I can do to help adolescents through a time of emotional rollercoasters?” Here’s my response during the month of February. A big work during our Soft Skills Seminar class time is developing the soft skills that students need for being successful during their school careers as well as whatever awaits them upon graduation.We work on goal setting and weekly check-ins, time management and organization, emotional literacy, and many other soft skills. This year, students have recognised the effect of February’s blandness on all of us, teachers and students alike, and wanted to do something about it. Through much creativity and enthusiasm, the students of S.S.S. have created what we call, “Fabulous February.” This celebration is an initiative of our students to maintain emotional health during a bland time. Throughout the month of February, students have planned to pass out silly stickers (designed by the students!), make pancakes for breakfast on Thursdays, create a room full of balloons, coordinate simple lunch dances, and much more. In the Portrait of a Graduate at the secondary level, we have a category under emotional literacy titled, “joy and optimism.” We measure our joy and optimism with the phrase: “Every day has the potential for amazing things to happen, and I am excited to be a part of them!” This February, we are seeking to make every day a day for amazing things to happen.
Nkole Albright, Communications Relations Liaison
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SOCIAL OVERLOAD
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appy faces, amazing vacations, children who never make mistakes‌does this sound like your daily social media feed? I know some days I have to ‘check out’ from the fantasy world created on line and focus on the real world people who bring joy (and frustration) to my life. As the person responsible for the Facebook and Instagram feeds for Oak Farm Montessori School, I love sharing all of the beautiful moments that happen all around campus each day. However, I try to be mindful that there are also moments of emotional break downs, inappropriate word choices and non-Montessori moments that also occur daily. What makes our school different and ultimately ‘real’ is that these moments of emotional unrest are expected and honored. We all have moments where our emotions get the better of us; it’s how we respond to these outbursts that ultimately affect the rest of our day and those who interact with us. Oak Farm Montessori teachers have been trained in Positive Discipline, the seven habits of highly effective people and are guided by the 100+ years of Montessori philosophy that allow them to see these moments as opportunities for growth and learning. When a Primary student decides that he cannot patiently wait for his turn with the broom and takes it away from his classmate, the other student is not told to take it back forcibly. Instead, they are asked, “How did that make you feel?â€? “What would you like to say to your friend?â€? Empowering students to identify their emotions and share their feelings with others is a skill they will carry with them throughout their lives. In the next plane of development, Elementary students begin forming their own beliefs about morality and justice. This important emotional development was the basis for Maria Montessori’s Great Lessons and Cosmic Education: Where do I fit into this world? How can I care and serve others? How do I respect others beliefs while maintaining my own? Students are encouraged to explore, write and develop their own creative independence. Emotional literacy is nurtured through their own self- regulation and desire to be part of a larger community. The adolescent is more concerned with the world around them; social justice and the global community, while at the same time consumed with themselves and their own belonging within a group. Does this sound like a recipe for disaster? Many times this dichotomy results in emotional outbursts that make parents think they have reverted back to the Toddler years! Teachers at this plane of development must be skilled in encouraging and expecting independence, while also showing compassion for the hormones and feelings of inadequacy that dominate their frontal lobe. The Erdkinder farm program at the middle school provides a consistent foundation for these students that helps them connect to the earth and the care of the creatures that inhabit it. And finally we reach the young adult. They are poised for life; with confidence, leadership and an excitement for exploring careers and financial independence. Montessori called this the “period of constructionâ€?. Oak Farm Montessori High School prepares these young adults with opportunities to follow their passions, make business plans and execute them, prepare for college and provides caring adult mentors who are ready to guide and encourage them to success; whatever that looks like for each student. So while I can’t capture each emotional breakdown or outburst to share with you on social media, please know that when (not if) they occur, the prepared environment will allow and encourage your child, regardless of age, to work through the problem. That smiling face peering out from a post is more likely the result of successfully navigating a difficult situation and not just the reflection of a fantasy expectation of perfection.