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My dad says that if you want something badly enough, you’ll get it. You just have to work hard. I worked hard for my spelling test last week and got 7 out of 10, which I thought was pretty good, especially as one of the words I got right was parrashoot…
Pester Power
My friend Freddie Spoon says that if you want something from your mum or dad, you have to work really hard to persuade them. It’s called Pester Power and here’s how you do it:
1. Wait till your chosen parent is looking relaxed and not busy.
2. Make them a cup of tea with two sugars and a biscuit.
3. Ask them if they’ve had a nice day.
4. Tell them how good you’ve been.
5. Tilt your head to one side and look up at your parent with big sad eyes.
6. Ask for the thing you want. Remember to say “Pleeeeeaaassssse.”
7. If they say no, repeat steps 1 to 6. Around 500 times should do it.
If they still say no or get cross, ask the other parent.
Freddie Spoon says it works a treat. I once managed to get as far as Step 4, but then I heard snoring and realised my dad was actually asleep, with his eyes closed.
So there wasn’t much point doing the tilty head and big eyes thing. And Mum is
always busy with us kids and Granny and the Baby so there’s no point even trying Pester Power on her.
The Perfect Mix
By the way, I’m Nell. Well, that’s my nickname. My real name is Antonella Henry.
Some boys are actually called Henry for their frst name. It’s a good job I’m not a boy or I might have been called Henry Henry, which would have been very silly and quite embarrassing.
Luckily, I’m a girl, and my dad says I’m the Perfect Mix because I have brown eyes and curly hair like him, and a little nose and wide smile like my mum. That’s why they decided to call me Antonella, because it’s a mixture of their names.
Anthony and Isabella.
Anton-ella.
See?
I don’t look much like Lucas, thank goodness. He’s my Big Brother and he’s as pale as pale and his hair is all straight and floppy. My mum says it’s because his birth daddy has blond hair and pale skin. I think it’s because he stays in bed all day and never gets any sun. He does this because he’s a teenager. Mum says teenagers need a lot of sleep because their brains turn to mush, which makes everything twice as hard.
I said, “Also, doing homework until three o’clock in the morning must be pretty tiring.”
Lucas had done a LOT of stomping around that night. I think his homework must have been especially tricky.
Then Dad took away his game controller, which I actually think was a bit mean, seeing as Lucas was working so hard. Grownups are such a mystery sometimes.
Snakes and Panthers
So the other day, me and Freddie Spoon were in our den in Mrs Next Door’s garden, playing with Mr Fluffy. Freddie Spoon says Mr Fluffy is nearly a World Record Holder. He says a lady in a suit came to Mrs Next Door’s house once with a purr-ometer. He says Mr Fluffy is the second-loudest purrer in the whole country! First loudest is a black-and-white cat in Torquay called Merlin.
I said, “Why doesn’t Mr Fluffy ever purr when I’m around?”
Freddie Spoon just shrugged. “Dunno,” he said. “Look at this.” He showed me a piece of torn-out newspaper. On it was a fuzzy photo of a big black splodge. This is what it looked like:
Amysteriousbeasthasbeencapturedon flmbylocalphotographer,MsBarking. MsBarkingsaid,“Isawthismysterious beastatthebottomofmygarden,soItook this photograph.” When asked what she thoughttheanimalwas,MsBarkingreplied, “It’samystery.”
Freddie Spoon said, “I reckon it’s a panther. Panthers are always escaping from zoos and places.”
I said wasn’t it a bit cold and rainy for panthers, but Freddie Spoon said they’ve evolved and adapted and grown thicker fur so they can survive. Me and Freddie Spoon know a lot about wildlife because we’re going to be wildlife experts when we grow up.
He said we should break into the zoo one night and let all the animals out. “Imagine the carnage!” he said. “The lions would rampage around stealing babies and chomping postmen. And the buffalos and zebras would run riot up and down the streets bashing up all the cars and making traffic jams!”
“And,” I said, “the snakes would slither down the drainpipes and come up in people’s toilets and see a delicious peach, and take a bite, only it wouldn’t be a peach it would be someone’s bottom!”
Freddie Spoon told me not to be stupid. He said, “Snakes don’t eat peaches.” Which made it even funnier and we fell about laughing until it was time for tea.
