/NORTHERNIOWAN
CEDAR FALLS, IA
WWW.NORTHERNIOWAN.COM
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2025
@NORTHERNIOWAN
VOLUME 121, ISSUE 25
UNI squirrels to start cover band “It’s nothing like Alvin and the Chipmunks,” says lead singer Aaron O’Squeaks.
COURTESY/JO MAMA
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
JO MAMA
The Type of Girl You Wanna Chew All of My Bubblegum
CAMPUS LIFE
Total Diva Wenna Jestendorf dicusses the new addition of two slides to Schindler. SEE PAGE 7
As students walk across campus they can expect to hear the sweet symphonies of a new cover band. A few of the beloved UNI squirrels have banded together to cover the most popular songs of the early 2000s. They are calling themselves “Uncle Nutcracker.” Lead singer Aaron O’Squeaks says that the UNI squirrels have always had a love of singing. “I was chillin’ at home with me bestie Simon and my little brother Tucker. We were playing Guitar Hero and it just clicked. We should start a band! ... and before you even
DIET COKE LOVER!!!
SEE PAGE 9
ing,’ but all I have to say is, God forbid a red squirrel catch a vibe. I mean, we are trying!” Tucker O’Squeaks said, “At the end of the day, we are so passionate about what we do. Eventually, we will find our niche and then all these haters will be in our rearview mirror.” It is unknown if the trio will get any more opportunities to play. They were booked to preform at NRP’s Little Table show, but after the local backlash, they were dropped from the show’s roster. The UNI Yik Yak channel has had nothing but negative things to say. To learn more about the band, you can find them in a tall pine tree on campus.
UNI encourages students to sprint as fast as humanly possible to classes, exams and work ESHTOOGLE JOHOONSYUN
SPORTS Madam Richard covers the recent additions to the WRC pool. #It’sSharks.
go there, NO this is nothing like Alvin and the Chipmunks. Those guys are posers and we are actually so cool and passionate about what we do.” The trio has started to take on small gigs. Recently they preformed at local bar “Squiddy’s.” UNI music major, Countess Wormz, said “While I get what they want to do, they just are not very good. I mean, why would they bring their whole Wii and Guitar Hero set-up to a public space like that? This is not music.” Simon Chatter, bass player, says “We have definitely heard all the complaints that we ‘don’t know what we are doing’ and ‘aren’t good at play-
As of recently, many unnamed UNI officials have recommended that students sprint to their final destinations. One unnamed official mentioned that participating in sprinting on a daily basis can help students get rid of any anxieties they may have about school, relationships and working. Unnamed offical said, “When you see one student sprinting, there’s a high possibility someone else will feel the confidence to do the
same, which is the goal.” While the sprinting epidemic is set to be popular among faculty and staff, students may not be so eager to step on the gas. As the academic year continues, we edge closer to the end. Some students find it difficult to start new challenges before the semester ends. Freshman Haywood Jalikeadietcoke said “I can understand why UNI officials are encouraging us to be active, but maybe they could do it in a way that doesn’t feel embarrassing.” While Jalikeadietcoke is
one of many students who is unsure about the encouragement, some students are feeling positive about a new college-wide event that can bring students closer together. Senior Future Deevorcee noted how their last year has been absent of one thing, which would be a major event. “The 150th anniversary of UNI is next year, and I’ll miss that ... but at least I’m able to have a nice sprint break in between my art history classes and my rhetoric classes!”
NEWS BRIEFS The University of Northern Iowa Wellness and Recreation Center has planned a “Campanile Climbing” event, where students can scale the historic building and view Cedar Falls from upper heights. Avid rock wall climber and UNI student Booger Inyanose feels excited for this event. “I’ve always wanted to climb the Campanile, but I feared it was a felony.” While many UNI students are looking forward to this event, some students have concerns about the safety precautions. Senior Melanie Farts said, “I don’t know how they’re planning to safely attach ropes to the Campanile, so I won’t be participating … but I’ll still watch!” The event will take place on April 4, and will run from 12:49 a.m. to 1:57 p.m. ************** Dear loyal readers, We are deeply sorry to all the people who missed the sudoku last week. In our defense, you can search the word “sudoku” and find approximatly 250,000,000 sudoku puzzles available online. With Panther Pride, The NI staff