/NORTHERNIOWAN
@NORTHERNIOWAN
PRESIDENTIAL
CEDAR FALLS, IA
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
WWW.NORTHERNIOWAN.COM
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1 3, 2024
VOLUME 120, ISSUE 26
BURGLARY
WHOA! THAT’S CRAZY! UHD has announced the grand re-opening of Campbell Hall amidst record numbers of students recontracting to live on campus. SEE PAGE 60
COURTESY/UNIPD
News briefs Growth spurt hits basketball team Celebration from the men’s basketball coaching staff as, after a recent visit to the doctor, it was revealed that Norwegian international student and star point guard Bjowen Bjorn has finally hit six feet tall. Coaching staff expressed excitement at Bjorn elevating his play, literally. Doctors say he, “still has a few inches left in him.” Historic donation to College of Humanities, Arts and Sciences On the heels of a $25 million donation to the College of Business this past fall, the College of Humanities, Arts and Sciences has just received a historic donation of its own. School of Music alum Ida Drummer has used her post-graduation success to donate a single Hot Pocket to her alma mater. The CHAS interim dean expressed gratitude at such generosity from a CHAS alum, especially from a music performance major.
the early hours of April UNIPD, the intruder has dark Suspect 2, InUniversity President Nark fur, pointy black ears and a Mook’s Ring doorbell big long nose. UNIPD and caught on captured this startlingcamera image Cedar Falls police are on the UNI introduces man— an intruder breaking into lookout for the suspect. dated Interluding to Ring camera his home. improve morale MALIBU SCHMOOTZ
IMPORTANT NEWZ
The SAE house has been bought and spookified by seasonal halloween company, Spirit Halloween. SEE PAGE 7
SPORTS!!!
The GEICO Gecko announces he will be attending every women’s basketball game. PAGE 11
PHOTO CREDIT/ALLYSON SCHWAB
Former Infant
As shown in the footage captured and later obtained by
See CAT BURGLAR, page 3
Tiki Bar Installed in WRC CAROLINI CHRISTINI-WEENIE That Dawg
Craving a margarita? Perhaps a Panther piña colada? Swim on up to the Wellness Recreation Center (WRC) and order yourself your favorite cocktail at the newly installed swim-up tiki bar. Campus is abuzz, both literally and figuratively, after the bar opened a couple of weeks ago in the leisure pool area, near the water slide. The bar has caused quite a commotion on campus, with some enthusiastically endorsing the idea, while others aren’t so sure. Director of the WRC, Dennis Chrismen, said the bar’s wide variety of beverages and beachy vibes have helped bring in more students to the facility. “Although some may question our decision, adding the tiki bar has greatly increased student engage-
CAROLINI CHRISTINI-WEENIE
Since the addition of the tiki bar, the water in the WRC pool now has 10% alcohol content.
ment,” Chrismen said. “You wouldn’t believe the number of students who have walked through those doors. In the past two weeks alone we have seen a 300% increase in visits from students.” The bar includes refresh-
ing cocktails like their signature TC’s tequila sunrise and strawberry daiquiris. The bar also offers mocktail options, smoothies and freshly squeezed juices. See BUZZED, page 3
In order to up that Go Cats spirit, UNI will be requiring a monthly Interluding session from all students on campus. Much like the monthly weather alert tests, the second Wednesday of every month, loudspeakers will blast The Interlude to all corners of campus. Students are expected to stop what they’re doing to do the dance, and professors are expected to pause teaching until the song is completed. TC Panther wins first prize in furry competition On a recent visit to Des Moines, TC Panther mistakenly wandered into Fur Con 2024, a national gathering of furries. In his confusion, TC continued to wander his way into the Best in Show judging. TC was awarded first prize for his quality of fursuit and friendly appearance. He will be bringing the gold trophy back to Cedar Falls with Panther pride.