The Stranger Vol. 23, No. 7

STUDY GUIDE

STUDY GUIDE QUESTIONS FOR THE STRANGER , VOLUME 23, ISSUE 7

1. This week, the STRANGER ELECTION CONTROL BOARD has released its election endorsements. It is a list that is sure to be filled with losers come election night. The past few major Stranger endorsements have been for politicians who have won the popular vote—Mayor McGinn, President Obama, Council Member O’Brien—but now The Stranger’s back to advocating for lost causes. Why do you think that is? Did The Stranger’s political taste temporarily veer toward the mainstream, or did the mainstream temporarily become more radicalized? Or is The Stranger simply weaving back and forth among all political ideologies, in the hopes that they will eventually earn the attention of a large enough audience to keep them in business for a little while longer? If you find it helpful, feel free to graph The Stranger’s various political stances through the years.

2a. JEN GRAVES complains about the fact that some affordable artist housing in nonwhite neighborhoods is more than 80 percent white. According to the most recent census data, Seattle is 66.3 percent white. Do you believe Ms. Graves would be happy if 66.3 percent of the artists in the affordable artist housing were white? Wouldn’t that be fair? Why or why not?

2b. How, exactly, would you measure .3 percent of an artist in such a way as to please Ms. Graves? Be as graphic as possible!

3. In her review of the Carrie remake, KELLY O portrays the film as an anti-bullying screed. Is it possible to provide a more obvious reading of Carrie without shutting down your necessary brain functions entirely?

4. REBECCA BROWN is back to writing positive things about Catholicism, this week going on about a desk belonging to a female saint who died at 24. Do the editors not notice Ms. Brown’s Catholicism goes against The Stranger ’s institutional atheism? Does The Stranger not read things submitted by Ms. Brown before publishing them? Or is it simply that the editors are delighted to see Ms. Brown, a known lesbian, writing ecstatically about a beautiful 24-year-old woman?

5. Often, satirists assume the role of a fictional character and then live inside that role, never breaking character and using the skewed fictional worldview to comment on current events; Stephen Colbert is probably the most popular contemporary example of this approach. The voice that BRENDAN KILEY assumes during his theater reviews is that of a delusional dreamer who passionately believes that theater is still an art form that matters. In your opinion, is Mr. Kiley a successful satirist, or is his weariness at the pretense of the role showing through in his most recent reviews?

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Tracey Cataldo

ACCOUNTING MANAGER

Renée Krulich

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Web Development

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DEVELOPERS Brenn Berliner, Michael Crowl, Nick Nelson

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CIRCULATION MANAGER Kevin Shurtluff

CIRCULATION ASSISTANT Paul Kavanagh

PUBLISHER Tim Keck

Hell on Wheels

An Argument About Bike Share

Last week in “The Good News and the Bad News About Bike Share,” Cienna Madrid explained that Seattle’s biggest businesses aren’t investing in a neighborhood bike-share program, even though the program needs an investor to survive and bike share has been proven as a successful marketing tool for investors in other cities. Many online commenters had thoughts to share on how useful—or useless—bike share is, and whether it’s more accurate to call it a rental program.

Comment by Westlake, son!: Any bikeshare that doesn’t self-sustain by making a quick buck renting out bikes along the Burke Gilman trail for $9 a day deserves to fail.

Comment by TVDinner: The bikeshare programs now being implemented in cities like Chicago, New York, and Washington DC are light years better than earlier bikeshare systems. This generation of systems really have the kinks worked out. Best practices are now established, and there is no reason this can’t be successful in Seattle. It can revolutionize the city and greatly benefit businesses. There is a lot of data out there to prove it. Quit dicking around, Amazon, Microsoft, Adobe, Zymogenetics… Pony up, or you will lose the smart, creative workers you need to other cities. And the idea that PSBS (what an unfortunate acronym) didn’t approach the companies correctly…? Please. These people

are professionals. They know what they’re doing. The companies are just trying to cover their shameful tracks.

Comment by Chef Joe: I propose we create a roving force of bike police who issue tickets to cyclists for their violations. We can also create a bike license program and have the bike share kiosks charge increasing rates based on the number of incorrect answers on a bike laws quiz given at the start of the rental. That should more than cover the shortfall.

Comment by robotslave: Can we please stop calling the current incarnation of this bike “sharing”? What’s being proposed is a public bike rental program… complete with deposits and late fees. These bikes will not be available to people who do not have access to a working credit or debit card. That’s not “sharing.” That’s rent.

Comment by d.p.: You pay a membership fee. The best value, by far, is the annual rate. At that point you get unlimited access for quick trips within the coverage area. >95% of bike share trips taken worldwide come in under the 30 minutes. Not one additional cent is spent in “rent.” Thus the accuracy of the word “share,” where the word “rent” would imply a payment per use. This is, of course, the reason that the $3-per-trip helmet scheme will fail miserably. Either the helmet fee needs to be reduced to about 25 cents, or the helmet deposit needs to be refundable, or the god-

“I propose we create a roving force of bike police who issue tickets to cyclists for their violations.”

damned helmet law needs to go.

Comment by robotslave: A few seconds with a calculator suggests that the annual rental rate (before late fees) is only better than the daily rental rate (before late fees) if you rent a bike at least 10 days a year. And whether you pay your rent annually or daily, you still need access to a working credit or debit card. And since bikes are by all accounts rarely damaged or stolen, we won’t factor in the average additional cost to the renter due to damage and theft (yes, bike renters can be charged the replacement cost for a stolen

bike—read the fine print).

Comment by d.p.: If you bothered to speak to a single human being who has lived in a city with an established bike-share, you would likely be informed that those who subscribe wind up in the habit of making four or five quick trips on the system per week, on average. By the end of week three, your annual membership has hit the break-even point. But you also seem to be unclear on the basic usage concept here: You get a bike. You ride a couple of miles to your destination. You return it to another dock. Your trip is over. There are no “late fees” for basic trips, and there is no chance of a stolen bike being charged to you, because you are on it for the entire time it is checked out. Your poorly informed opining does not actually trump the reality of how these programs work.

Comment by fetish: The rent vs. share debate is semantics. Literally I do not give a shit which one it is. I would also say that, in WA state, there are few barriers to getting a debit card—most banks have free checking, no minimum balance. Or at worst, $100 opening deposit (and still no fees)—about the cost of the yearly bikeshare membership anyhow. You do need a valid ID—which are available to residents, no matter how illegal their immigration status. Washington is not a “show me your papers” state, so while an ‘illegal’ may perceive risk, the reality is there is little risk to getting a valid identification, and thus a bank account.

Comment by bigyaz: There are more than 570 million debit cards circulating in the US (just debit cards, never mind credit). Somehow I don’t see that as a barrier to anyone but a minuscule number of people.

Shout about it at THESTRANGER.COM

GARRIS IN THE VIDEO, AND PREPARE YOURSELF FOR UNDEAD SURPRISES.

WED " OCTOBER 23

HAUNTED BONUS ROUND: PSYCHONAUTS GREAT GAMEPLAY BASED ON THE ADVENTURES OF RAZPUTIN {“RAZ” FOR SHORT}, A YOUNG BOY GIFTED WITH PSYCHIC ABILITIES.

LAST DAYS

The Week in Review BY

DAVID SCHMADER

MONDAY, OCTOBER 7 This week of feminist triumph, rabbinical thuggery, and one troubled Elmo kicks off with Ken Cuccinelli, the attorney general of the state of Virginia, who’s spent the past year distinguishing himself as the dude who seriously wants to recriminalize sodomy, even between consenting heterosexual adults joined in holy matrimony. As history buffs will recall, in 2003, the US Supreme Court ruled that anti-sodomy laws were unconstitutional, inspiring the Virginia legislature to consider amending the state’s now-untenable anti-sodomy statute. “As a state senator, Cuccinelli opposed the state’s efforts, having said previously that ‘homosexual acts’ are ‘intrinsically wrong’ and that ‘in a natural law based country it’s appropriate to have policies that reflect that,’” reports MSNBC. Once he attained attorney-general status, Cuccinelli resumed his battle against legal sodomy, fighting to reinstate Virginia’s now-unconstitutional law barring “crimes against nature,” including oral sex between consenting adults of any sexual orientation. “The law carried a penalty of between one and five years in prison for sexual acts that the National Center for Health Statistics estimates nine out of ten Americans between the age of 25 and 44 engage in,” reports MSNBC. Which brings us to wonderful, wonderful today, when the Supreme

THE LONELINESS OF THE IGNORED STRANDEE

To all the assholes who drove by me on the Montlake off-ramp as I held my jumper cables in my hand hoping for some kind soul to help me: I hope someone steals your car, drives it into Lake Washington, and as you watch it slowly sink, your mother runs barking along the shore.

Court rejected Cuccinelli’s plea to allow him to recriminalize sodomy between consenting adults AND state polls continued to show the running-for-governor Cuccinelli trailing his Democratic rival by five points.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 8 In much better news, the week continues in New York City, where tonight brought the 2013 Women’s Media Awards, celebrating—among numerous others—Seattle’s own Lindy West. Accepting the 2013 Women’s Media Center Social Media Award for her tireless and often hilarious online campaigns for social justice and basic human decency, West spoke about the new landscape of activism: “I hear a lot these days about the lazy, aimless ‘millennials’—about how all we want to do is sit around twerking our iPods and Tweedling our Kardashians— and I also hear people asking, ‘Where is the next generation of the social-justice movement? Where are all the young feminists and womanists and activists?’ Dude, they’re on the internet. They’re working their asses off. And if you can’t hear them, it’s because you’re not listening.” Humongous congratulations to Lindy, for whom battling internet idiocy has become a full-time job that she is exceedingly good at, and it is so wonderful to have all the rape threats—plus freak-outs from Roseanne Barr—balanced by an award handed over by Jane Fonda in front of Gloria Steinem and Lily Tomlin. Also, tonight’s win shoves a sock in the mouths of those critics (many of them women) who blast West for her comical writing style, casual lingo, and occasional use of the placeholding “like” in conversation. Two decades ago, Kathleen Hanna claimed her right to make seriously smart statements in a Valley girl accent, setting a wonderful precedent for Lindy’s use of “hella” and all-caps rants. Everyone else can suck it. Congratulations, Lindy West. Full speed ahead.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9 Speaking of notable stuff going down in NYC, the week continues with this impressive sentence from the New York Times : “The man known for dressing up in an Elmo costume and harassing New York City tourists with anti-Semitic outbursts was sentenced in Manhattan Criminal Court on Wednesday to a year in jail after admitting he tried to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts.” Our subject: Dan Sandler, a 49-year-old man from Ashland, Oregon, with a history of disturbing trouble. In the 1990s, he ran the pornographic website Welcome to the Rape Camp—which claimed to show videos of nonconsensual sex—in Cambodia until authorities deported him in 1999. Back in the United States, he worked briefly as a computer programmer for the Girl Scouts (who should probably have a policy against hiring people run out of Cambodia for rape porn), and then found a new career. “After he left his job with the Girl Scouts in November 2008, he bought an Elmo suit for $300 and joined the other costumed characters in Times Square and Central Park, charging money to have his picture taken with children,” reports the NYT. “But he soon became known as ‘Evil Elmo’ and ‘Bad Elmo’ for his habit of making obscene rants at passers-by. Last year, one of his outbursts in Times Square led to an arrest and guilty plea for disorderly conduct. He then moved to San Francisco, where he was spotted delivering similar tirades in a park before being arrested in May on the New York charges in the extortion case.” About that extortion case: In the

LGET YOUR TICKETS!

ast week, the members of the Stranger Porn Bureau locked themselves in a room to view this year’s submissions for The Stranger’s beloved amateur porn contest HUMP! Thankfully, the viewing room was not soundproof. Among the overheard tidbits:

“Did the whole marching band approve this?”

“He looks like one of those Danishes with the crisscross sugar icing.”

“I wondered what Enya was up to these days.”

“It looks like two squirrels being ground together.”

“And that’s how they make maple syrup.”

“Show the other Hillary Clinton Sex Monster one.”

“Another clarinet?”

Clearly, HUMP! 2013 will be something to see, and viewers in the Pacific Northwest will have numerous opportunities to see it. First come two weekends of screenings in Seattle at On the Boards (Nov 1–3 and 8–9), followed by screenings in Portland at Cinema 21 (Nov 14–17), and one-night screenings in Bellingham at the Pickford Film Center (Nov 9) and in Olympia at the Capitol Theater (Nov 15). For full info and tickets, proceed immediately to hump.strangertickets.com!

midst of his “angry Elmo” phase, Sandler stalked and attempted to extort $2 million from his former employers at the Girl Scouts. Last month, Sandler pleaded guilty to attempted grand larceny and third-degree stalking, and today he was sentenced to a year in jail.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 10 Continuing the notable-doings-in-NYC theme, the week continues with the two Orthodox rabbis charged with plotting to kidnap and torture a man in order to force him to grant his wife a divorce. At the center of the story is the Jewish law regarding divorce, which requires husbands to give wives a document—called a “get”—that officially releases them from marriage. As ABC News reports, “Under Jewish law, if a husband refuses to grant his wife a ‘get,’ she has the right to sue in rabbinical court.” And if a wife wants her “get” without the hassle of suing, she can apparently enlist the help of Orthodox thugs. “Rabbis Mendel Epstein and Martin Wolmark charged Jewish women and their families thousands of dollars to obtain religious divorces, known as ‘gets,’ from unwilling husbands,” reports ABC. “According to an FBI complaint, Epstein spoke about forcing compliance through ‘tough guys’ who use electric cattle prods and even place plastic bags over the heads of hus-

bands.” The two rabbis and eight alleged honchos remain held in federal custody.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 11 Nothing happened today, unless you count the 23-year prison sentence given to Andrew Patterson, the now-21-year-old man who accidentally and fatally shot Seattle’s Justin Ferrari in front of Ferrari’s children and parents last May.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 12 In lighter news, the week continues at Springfield, Missouri’s Dickerson Park Zoo, where today a man entered a room containing an elephant and was fatally crushed by an elephant. “[Zookeeper] John Phillip Bradford, 62, was trying to coax [the elephant] Patience through a chute connecting the elephant barn and the yards when she knocked him into the chute and crushed him against the floor,” reports NBC News. Bradford died instantaneously, and the elephant called Patience will not be euthanized.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 13 Nothing happened today.

Send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.

Intrinsically wrong acts all day long at THESTRANGER.COM/SLOG

October 26 & 27

10am – 5pm

Pier 66 at 2225 Alaskan Way, Seattle Free public

Kids Activity Hours 10am – 12pm Sunday

+ info: greenpeace .org/ ship tour

The Stranger Election Control Board

Our Endorsements and CHEAT SHEET for the November 5, 2013, Election— Vote for Mike McGinn, Kshama Sawant, and Public Financing!

Election shit was amazing this time last year. We were about to reelect our Socialist Kenyan Muslim Overlord, legalize pot, and make gay marriage mandatory. We’ve spent the

12 months since doing bong hits through holy water in celebration. But it turns out elections happen every year. And this year, what do we get? Eleven incomprehensible ballot measures, a bunch of candidates no one has ever heard of, and a bunch of incumbents everyone is sick of.

Duty called, and the SECB put down our bong long enough to answer the call. We held countless candidate “interviews,” convened roughly three dozen staff meetings (aka bingedrinking sessions), and now we’re proud to present Seattle with our most coherent voters’ guide ever. This election may not come with the glamour of reinstating the Antichrist as president, but it will decide who’s mayor and whether we can elect young blood to city hall— seriously, Seattle City Council meetings look like The Real World filmed at Horizon House— and it will be the final word on whether labels will explain that your tasteless tomatoes have trout genes spliced into ’em.

As for mayor, do you want Mike McGinn, who’s backing a citywide light-rail network? Or do you want Ed Murray, who, we shit you not, recently held a fundraiser that used destroying bike lanes as its main tactic to raise money? We’re sticking with pro-transit, probike Mayor McGinn, thank you.

We’re also telling you to vote against city council member Richard Conlin, whose biggest accomplishment is legalizing miniature goats (perhaps for gay-marrying purposes), and to instead vote for Kshama Sawant, a socialist economist who wants to increase

the minimum wage to $15 an hour. And, even more important, we want more challengers like Sawant to run for office so we don’t have the same washed-up, goat-loving, Metamucilswilling incumbents dying at city hall after fruitless multi-decade careers. (We expect to see a levy on next year’s ballot to provide Life Alert systems for all city council members.)

That’s why we’re supporting an unprecedented measure for election reform that provides public financing for council races.

You’re welcome to think for yourself and make your own choices, of course, but you would be better off—and the city would be better off— if you voted the way we’re telling you to.

STATE OF WASHINGTON

INITIATIVE 517

No

This initiative is another steaming turd from right-wing profiteer Tim Eyman, who makes a nice living for himself running initiatives that pander to voters by promising to reduce taxes (then pissing off voters because those initiatives wind up gutting stuff people love, like money for schools). And I-517 is Eyman’s most self-serving initiative yet: It makes it cheaper and easier for him to run even more initiatives! I-517 would double the length of time allowed to gather signatures from six months to 12. It would also force sensible people who want to ask gullible people not to sign

one of Tim’s stupid initiatives to stay 25 feet away from his signature gatherers. Even business owners could be thrown in the slammer for attempting to bar aggressive signature gatherers from private property! It’s stupid, it’s unnecessary, and it will just lead to more stupid, unnecessary Eyman initiatives making it onto your ballot. Vote no on I-517.

INITIATIVE 522

Yes

For months now, we’ve been getting angry, self-righteous e-mails from people on both sides of I-522, the statewide initiative that would mandate labeling foods with genetically modified ingredients. The people on the yes side sound like your hippiest-dippiest Birkenstock-wearing aunt, and the people on the no side sound like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. Whee!

Under I-522, about 60 percent of all packaged foods would carry a label on the front announcing that they may contain genetically engineered ingredients. The state would have the right to enforce the law, and third-party legal cases could be brought through the sort of no-damages lawsuits that only appeal to public interest attorneys.

The no side argues that the labels are misleading and would cost the average consumer an additional $490 a year. That’s bullshit. There is zero compelling evidence that adding GMO warnings to food labels would cost the consumer a dime. The yes side argues that it is merely interested in providing consumers with the information they want. That’s bullshit, too. The whole purpose of a GMO label is to get companies to stop using GMOs, and yet the overwhelming scientific consensus is that GMO crops are entirely safe to eat. So you shouldn’t necessarily be concerned about eating GMO foods—but you should be concerned about the way GMO foods are grown on giant factory farms that

use tons of pesticides (usually, hey, made by Monsanto, one of the main financial sponsors of No on 522).

So what to do? Err on the side of too much information.

Give consumers a label they might not need (like country of origin or previously frozen), and then let the GMO and processed foods industries defend the health and safety of their products. God knows they have the cash. Out-of-state giants like Monsanto, DuPont, and Dow, along with the powerful Grocery Manufacturers Association, have already spent a stunning $17 million trashing I-522, filling the airwaves with lies. If GMOs are as safe and beneficial as they say they are, let them run ads selling that message to consumers instead of the anti-522 bullshit they’re currently flinging at voters.

ADVISORY

VOTES NO. 3, NO. 4, NO. 5, NO. 6, AND NO. 7

Maintained

What a stupid fucking waste of time. These measures are the zombified corpses of another Eyman initiative, which required a two-thirds majority of the legislature for any tax increases. That initiative was struck down in court as unconstitutional, but the part of the law requiring a nonbinding “advisory vote” every time the legislature passes a tax increase, or even closes a tax loophole, stumbles on. That’s what these are: nonbinding advisory votes. They’re totally meaningless. But they’re compelling reading! Take, for example, No. 5: “The legislature extended, without a vote of the people, the insurance premium tax to some insurance for pediatric oral services, costing an amount that cannot currently be estimated, for government spending.” Then you’re asked if this law should be repealed or maintained. But even if “repealed” takes 100 percent of the vote… the law will be

maintained. Don’t give Eyman the satisfaction of sending an antitax message. On all of them, vote “Maintained.” And fuck Tim Eyman.

KING COUNTY

CHARTER AMENDMENT 1: PUBLIC DEFENDERS Yes

You should pass this boring-sounding charter amendment to help prevent politicians from meddling with the business of King County’s courtrooms (which would be great for lawbreakers like us, who have also pissed off every local politician). The measure concerns public defenders, i.e., lawyers who represent defendants that can’t afford to hire a lawyer. It would enshrine the newly formed Department of Public Defense as an independent body and declare that the department’s director can’t be fired for making unpopular decisions. Why’s that matter now? Our local public defenders, who have historically been controversial activists to reform the criminal justice system, became county employees earlier this year pursuant to a court decision (they have always been publicly funded but used to be fully independent). This measure will allow them to keep pursuing innovative programs— like scrutinizing racial disparities in drug arrests and diverting offenders into treatment programs—without facing political pressure of losing their funding. “This will give King County the strongest public defense system in the country,” explains Christie Hedman, executive director of the Washington Defender Association. We agree. Vote yes.

An entire endorsement without a single “fuck.” Yes we can!

PROPOSITION NO. 1: EMERGENCY SERVICES LEVY Approved

King County’s Medic One provides some of the best emergency medical services in the nation, with a nearly unprecedented cardiac arrest survival rate of 57 percent—that’s four to five times higher than in most other communities! And at only $107 a year for this six-year renewal levy, the average homeowner will actually pay less than they did back in 2008. It’s a no-brainer! Vote approved.

KING COUNTY EXECUTIVE Dow Constantine

During his first term, Dow Constantine and his swoop of silky hair guided the county through recession-era budget cuts by fixing structural financial problems and investing in upgrades—including new technology systems for data entry and payroll (he’s got some talented hair). Constantine’s bland personality also makes him suited for building bipartisan coalitions, like the ones he helped assemble to fix the South Park Bridge. Constantine occasionally takes a swan dive into a soupy pile of shit—censoring Metro bus ads, for example—but he’s proven himself a competent manager. Alan Lobdell is a civil engineer with no political experience (and unimpressive hair) running on a vague platform to improve “customer service” within government. Vote for Constantine.

COUNCIL DISTRICT NO. 1

Rod Dembowski

Rod Dembowski calls himself a “recovering lawyer” and is charming in a Leave It to Beaver sort of way. More importantly, in his short time in office, he’s been a chief advocate to strengthen the public defense system. He lobbied Olympia for local taxing authority for

much-need transit that the state won’t fund, and he talks smart about green spaces and suburban poverty. Opponent Naomi Wilson has little experience and a spotty voting record, and is running on the platform of not being an “insider.” Pick Dembowski.

COUNCIL DISTRICT NO. 5

Dave Upthegrove

As a representative in the state house, Dave Upthegrove… zzzzzzzzzzz. Fucking county council races. IS ANYBODY READING THIS? Nobody cares about the fucking county council—and no one cares about dullas-derp Upthegrove—but we’re stuck in these motherfucking endorsement meetings and where’s our bong, anyway? Yeah, yeah, Upthegrove wants to help update FEMA flood maps and he loves transit and some other crap. But we suspect the real deal is that Upthegrove is running to escape the dysfunctional legislature, where he only makes $42,000 a year, and work instead for the county council, which is equally dysfunctional but pays $135,000 a year. Riddle us this shit: Do you even know what King County does? If so, you’re in like the top zillionth percentile of people who can tolerate boring shit. Upthegrove’s opponent, Andy Massagli—who didn’t even show up for our meeting (neither did Stranger publisher Tim Keck), even though we have a sweet bong (it’s Keck’s bong, actually)—responded to a recent transit riders’ survey by stating that mass transit should be funded by “an alcohol or gang tax [which] would target the riding demographic beautifully.” Or, hey, how about a 100 percent asshole tax? We could fully fund transit around here with the money we’d raise just off Tim Eyman, Richard Conlin, Reagan Dunn, and this Massagli douchebag. Vote Upthegrove.

NO.

Shari Song

Okay, this one is actually important: Shari Song is a Korean immigrant and a successful businesswoman running on a meat-’n’-potatoes platform of paying for parks, attracting living-wage jobs, and improving transit and roads. She’s also the first Democrat with a serious shot at winning this seat. This is the second-fastest-growing district in the county, an area where the white population dropped by 14 percent from 2002 to 2012, while those identifying as an ethnic minority jumped by 66 percent. Song has worked for decades as a community advocate for immigrants—in the early 1990s, she started a bilingual preschool program to prepare immigrant children for kindergarten. Song also plans to show up for her goddamn job. That’s better than Council Member Reagan Dunn, who has the council’s worst attendance record with 491 votes missed. When he did show up, Dunn, a Republican, tried in his last term to gut the health department’s funding while attempting to give raises to the sheriff’s office. Dunn is a shitbag. Vote Song.

PORT OF SEATTLE COMMISSIONER POSITION NO. 1

John Creighton

You know who just sent us an e-mail touting how much “we need Pete Lewis” on the Port of Seattle Commission? Rob “Different Kind of Republican” McKenna! That’s right, the same Republican attorney general who sued to overturn Obamacare, who ran for governor on a platform of balancing the budget through a calculated strategy of ignoring the mathematical effects of compounding, and who didn’t want to let gays marry—that same asshole now insists that “we need” Auburn mayor Pete Lewis to help oversee the port’s $600 million annual budget. Other editorialists have dinged incumbent commissioner John Creighton for being “notoriously uncivil,” but you know what? Folks in Auburn tell us that Lewis can be a dick, too. Worse yet, Lewis is a Republican dick, whereas throughout his two terms, Creighton has proven himself to be the most reliably pro-labor and pro-reform member of a commission that, before his arrival, had a sorry reputation as a den of corporate cronyism. “The Port of Seattle needs an experienced, proven leader,” writes McKenna. We agree with Rob! And that’s why we’re urging you to reelect John Creighton.

COMMISSIONER POSITION NO. 2

Courtney Gregoire

Okay, we need to come clean. Nobody knows what port commissioners actually do—besides huff embalming fluid and whine about how sports arenas are bad for freight mobility. Courtney Gregoire is clearly huffing embalming fluids: Even though she’s campaigning on strengthening port jobs, she is simultaneously refusing to support SeaTac’s $15 minimum wage initiative. She dodged the question about the minimum wage initiative three times. Have we mentioned that she’s former governor Chris Gregoire’s daughter? She is! Still, as the former director of the National Export Initiative, Gregoire has some experience with ports. That’s more that we can say for her Havana-humping challenger, socialist John Naubert, who talks about “building a fighting movement” but lacks the experience with or knowledge about ports to convince us he could build a model ship, let alone a movement. Vote Gregoire, because what other choice do you have?

COMMISSIONER POSITION NO. 3

Stephanie Bowman

Stephanie Bowman was appointed by her fellow commissioners in May, after she served five years managing federal governmental affairs at the Port of Tacoma. Between huffs of embalming fluid, she talks a good game about forging a joint operating agreement between Seattle and Tacoma’s ports to ensure our region remains competitive. Michael Wolfe touts his travel industry experience as providing balance to the commission, which we agree is lacking, but he can’t compete with Bowman’s experience.

COMMISSIONER POSITION NO. 4

Tom Albro

We once endorsed “a greasy, half-empty tub of Crisco” over Tom Albro—seriously, you can google that shit. The smooth-talking closet Republican is too conservative for our taste, admittedly, but he knows his way around the airport, the seaport, and a keg of

embalming fluid. He’s also intent on collaborating with the Port of Tacoma, which would help Seattle be more competitive against larger, more innovative ports to the north and south. Richard Pope, on the other hand, has been called “a wart on the ass of democracy.” (We said that!) Faced with a choice between a greasy, half-empty tub of Crisco (icky but useful!) and an ass wart (icky and useless), we say go with the Crisco: Vote Albro.

CITY OF SEATTLE

PROPOSITION

NO. 1: PUBLIC CAMPAIGN FINANCING

Yes

The average age of a Seattle City Council member is 64—sixtyfuckingfour—and that’s 16 years older than the council’s average age was in 1990. Our elderly “leaders” have shown little gumption for the most pressing needs of a growing city: accelerating the completion of light rail across Seattle, funding the Bicycle and Pedestrian Master Plans to safely connect our neighborhoods, or encouraging developers to build microhousing, workforce housing, and low-income housing so working-class people can live in this town. One possible reason they’ve turned their backs on the real needs of people who live in this city: The same roughly 20 donors max out contributions to council incumbents every election, and the same council members are safety reelected and reelected and reelected—thanks to the prohibitive cost of running citywide for a council seat. As long as they adhere to the agenda of the wealthy folks who do business at city hall and fund their campaigns—developers, major real-estate owners, people with contracts with the city—city council incumbents have lifetime job security. In this environment, qualified newcomers don’t even run for office because they can’t raise the quarter million dollars needed to compete.

This measure would smash that dynamic. It would establish a public campaign financing system in which participating political candidates must raise at least $10 (and no more than $50) from 600 Seattle residents. Those funds would then be publicly matched six-to-one, giving each candidate no more than $245,000 to spend on his or her bid for office. It would be paid for by the smallest property tax in Seattle history (averaging less than $7 annually for a $400,000 home). In other cities, public campaign financing has led to more women, young people, and minority candidates running for office. Approve this measure, or resign yourself to watching another decade of our current council members suckling at their caviar feeding tubes as they slowly die on the dais.

PROPOSED CHARTER AMENDMENT NO. 19: DISTRICTS

This may have been the most divisive issue the SECB drunk-texted each other about this whole election. But we thought (and drank and smoked) long and hard, and we say yes. Much like the public financing measure above, this measure would make it easier for less wealthy, less politically connected candidates to run. Right now, all nine council members are elected citywide, which means they all answer to the same set of lobbyists and donors. This charter amendment would create seven districts that elect one council member each, while two other council seats would be elected citywide. This would make running for office more affordable and make council members more accountable. Instead of appealing to the city’s population of 600,000 people with expensive

glossy mailers, a candidate could run in a district of only about 88,000 people. That could be reasonably accomplished with a good ground game. In other words, the kind of progressive, grassroots candidates we dream about could actually have a shot in a district. And Seattle denizens would always have at least one representative at city hall designated to hear them out.

We hear the concerns of people wary of the measure (hence our drunk-texting). They’re afraid this could hand over power to another evil: The campaign is run by “neighborhood activists” who have opposed density, have opposed transit, and basically want to send Seattle back to 1972. We don’t want the council beholden to those backward activists. And if this districting measure passes, it will conflict with the public financing measure, possibly requiring the city council to send voters another ballot measure next year to reconcile the two.

But the benefits outweigh these criticisms. Right now, the council mostly suckles at downtown business’s rich, creamy teat; one solid representative would be an improvement for nearly everyone in the city. Best of all, this measure would mean the whole council is up for reelection in 2015, and half of ’em would have to run against each other, finally forcing them into competitive campaigns. Our dream come true! Vote yes.

MAYOR

Mike McGinn

Mike McGinn was handed a shit sandwich when he became mayor four years ago. The city council had spent down the rainy day fund; the recession zapped prospects for revenue; the police department was infected with a violent culture, particularly against people of color; and plans for expanding the light-rail system to Ballard and West Seattle were on the back burner. As for the deepbore tunnel, a controversial megaproject, state law insisted Seattle—which was struggling with its own bills at the time—would have to pay for any overruns.

McGinn tackled those problems, despite opposition from an obstructionist city council that refused to work with him (they even twice froze money for transit planning that would extend light rail). The Seattle Times opposed his transportation agenda at every turn, claiming McGinn was pushing cars off the road for bike lanes. (The daily paper continually launched smears at the mayor, even praising a school-attendance program while refusing to acknowledge that McGinn created it.)

Some people hate McGinn. The problem is, they struggle to put a finger on what their problem is. Critics say he’s divisive and can’t collaborate. But the people who say that are council members who unsuccessfully ran for mayor, business lobbies that wanted special favors, and reporters who rely on those

aforementioned folks as sources. No wonder people in Seattle look at the mayor’s term through a fun-house mirror. But McGinn is the superior candidate on policy, vision, and record.

Look at facts instead of smears. Crime is down, including through most of downtown. That’s in part due to good policing and a downtown roundtable that seeks new strategies for making the city be and feel safe (the roundtable is made up of a group of unlikely reformers and business interests). Violent crime dropped by one-third in Belltown since McGinn took office, and serious crimes are down in Pioneer Square and the International District by 27 percent since last year.

In the retail core, crime is roughly steady despite thousands of new residents and workers. Crime across Seattle is at a 35-year low.

We acknowledge that McGinn dragged his feet reaching a settlement with the US Department of Justice after prosecutors accused our police of excessive force—but what’s come out of it since is unprecedented. McGinn’s settlement includes a five-year reform plan that imposes tough new requirements on police using force, he brought along the radically conservative police union (getting it to drop a lawsuit to oppose reform), and he was the architect of a Community Police Commission that, again, brings together unlikely downtown business lobbies and progressive reformers.

In the same collaborative vein, McGinn has led the charge to oppose 18 toxic-coal-dustspewing trains plowing through Seattle every day by helping to create the Leadership Alliance Against Coal, which includes lawmakers from state, county, and local governments. He’s laid out plans to divest the city’s holdings from fossil-fuel investments, and now 16 other cities are doing the same thing.

On improving Seattle transportation, McGinn has accelerated planning for light rail to reach Ballard, so that when voters consider another light-rail measure, hopefully in 2016, Seattle will likely have a nearly shovel-ready project. And McGinn has also pledged to fully fund the city’s bicycle plan and has begun building protected bicycle lanes along key routes. On the controversial tunnel, McGinn successfully pressed the former governor to go on the record saying the state would cover overruns (which is great, because the project is already behind schedule and short on funding).

The city’s economy is also booming. The Downtown Seattle Association reports $2.8 billion in construction investments, a “level not seen since 2008,” while the unemployment rate has fallen to 4.7 percent, more than two points below the state average. McGinn also restored the rainy day fund.

Ed Murray, the other candidate in this race, has been short on details and consistently negative. He continually calls McGinn divisive, but Murray knows from his 18 years in Olympia that accomplishments come with controversy. Murray divided the legislature— as he should have—to pass gay marriage.

We’re also concerned about honesty problems with the Murray campaign. He claimed recently there was a “public safety crisis” because crime was up across the city when, in fact, crime is down. Murray’s campaign claimed the city’s economy would atrophy under McGinn when, in fact, it’s downright muscular. Murray insisted earlier this year that he opposed new fines for aggressive panhandling—fines that the human rights commission said violated city standards and may be unconstitutional—but now Murray says he might support that law if elected. Murray also said the mayor didn’t create the police commission—and that’s just untrue.

We’re also concerned that Murray is positioning himself as an anti-bicycle-lane candidate. The driving force of a fundraiser this month “Paid for by Ed Murray for

We all know that people look different. While these differences are socially and culturally real, contemporary scientific understanding of race and human variation is complex and may challenge how we think about it.

RACE: Are We So Different? builds understanding of what race is and is not, providing tools to recognize racial ideas and practices in contemporary life in the U.S.

In conjunction with this exhibit, the Seattle Race and Social Justice Initiative is offering free workshops for groups to expand their understanding of racial

in the

at

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Mayor” were people who sought to “oppose Mayor McGinn’s cycle track” on Westlake Avenue. “This is a narrowly focused event,” said an invitation to Murray supporters by Peter Schrappen of the Northwest Marine Trade Association. “The sole focus should be around articulating the Westlake interests.”

We oppose anti-bike, anti-transit lobbies. And even though we like what Murray did for gay marriage, we don’t need gay transit or gay traffic.

Plan by 75 percent. He supports creating new fines for aggressive panhandling (which is already illegal) but opposes regulations that would make homeless encampments safer. And he was the only member of the council to vote against Seattle’s paid-sick-leave ordinance. It’s time for him to go.

We need a mayor who understands how to build light rail, reform the police, kindle economic prosperity, reduce crime while respecting the city’s human rights standards, and protect us from coal trains. We already have that mayor: Mike McGinn.

Not surprisingly, Conlin’s campaign contributors are a “who’s who” of wealthy special interests. Seattle’s business establishment already has the ear of the other eight members of the council—now it’s time to give the rest of us a voice. Vote for Kshama Sawant.

COUNCIL POSITION NO. 4

Sally Bagshaw

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COUNCIL POSITION NO. 2 Kshama Sawant

Omigod, omigod, omigod: Kshama Sawant is a socialist! She’s coming to collectivize your P-Patch and seize control of the means of producing overpriced espresso drinks! Even worse: She’s talking about rent control! What could be worse for Seattle’s skyrocketing rental market than reining in the rent?

Listen to her critics, and you’d think Sawant was running for the office of Dear Leader. But she isn’t. She’s running to be one out of nine members of the city council—a stagnant, homogenous, business-toadying body that would benefit from a genuine lefty flanking its ideological left. And when it comes to the types of issues that actually come before the council—a minimum-wage hike, transit expansion, universal preschool, police accountability, city-sanctioned homeless encampments, building more affordable housing, and more—Sawant’s policy positions fit comfortably within the mainstream of Seattle’s broader progressive values.

No wonder Sawant has four-term incumbent council member Richard Conlin running scared. An immigrant woman of color, an Occupy Seattle organizer, and an economics instructor at Seattle Central Community College, Sawant has been wowing candidate forum audiences with a cogent economicjustice agenda.

“There is nobody in the political leadership in Seattle right now who comes into work every day with a sense of urgency to really fight for people’s standard of living,” argues Sawant. “That’s why voters are engaged in our campaign, because they are hearing a voice that they have been wanting to hear for years.”

It’s a voice that voters certainly haven’t been hearing from Conlin, who during his 16 years on the council has mostly distinguished himself by growing 16 years older. Conlin campaigned to build the $4.2 billion transitfree deep-bore-tunnel project, while using city resources to attempt to block an antitunnel referendum from the ballot. He twice froze money for the city’s Transit Master Plan, while underfunding the Bicycle Master

We have to apologize: We endorsed Sally Bagshaw in 2009, and she’s been mostly terrible. Four months after being elected, she voted for a bill underwritten by the Downtown Seattle Association to fine aggressive panhandlers, even though the city’s human rights commission found it violated the city’s human rights standards. Bagshaw recanted her vote in our endorsement meeting this year (a little late?), saying, “That was wrong.” She said she voted for it because it funded community court. But we went back and looked it up—and guess what? The bill had zero money for community court. Did Bagshaw have a brain fart? Has she been huffing Courtney Gregoire’s embalming fluid? Who knows? More Bagshaw bullshit: She refused to support a resolution opposing the surge of anti-LGBT violence in Russia, even though the Russian consul asked the city for its position. On urban planning, she’s been the council’s leader for a waterfront design that—instead of a thoroughfare for pedestrians with lots of businesses—will create an empty, windswept plaza with a new eight-lane highway. Bagshaw was also the only council member to oppose public campaign financing. Wealthy herself, she calls public financing “too rich” and says it will help unqualified candidates—missing the point that public financing of campaigns is proven to recruit candidates who are more diverse and more qualified Bagshaw has gotten some stuff right: She supported so-called greenway cycle paths in neighborhoods, she was on the right side of a vote to make homeless encampments safer by regulating them, and, as chair of the council’s parks committee, she backed more funding for parks and community centers. Most relevant to this endorsement, though, is that Bagshaw isn’t her dumbshit opponent.

Sam Bellomio (pronounced “bella-me-o,” not “blow me, oh”) is best known for delivering pointless tirades during public testimony at council meetings. But the council should ignore him. Last winter, Bellomio called the council “terrorists,” and last week he told the city council that their meeting was “worse than Nazi Germany.”

We’re regretfully endorsing Bagshaw, even though she’s sucked (here’s hoping she gets better), and we’re enthusiastically endorsing public campaign financing—again—because Bagshaw deserves a real challenger next time.

COUNCIL POSITION NO. 6

Nick Licata

Nick Licata first ran for Seattle City Council in 7600 BC, narrowly defeating Kennewick Man. In his first three thousand years in office, Licata was considered a progressive, blazing trails for the poor to work, the youth to dance, and the police to not physically attack racial minorities. But these days, making Seattle equitable for the poor and working class doesn’t just require Licata to be good at providing social services. It requires ensuring the working class can afford to live in Seattle at all. On those issues, Licata is not progressive. In his most recent term, Licata voted against allowing buildings

thing you need to know about Council Member Mike O’Brien. He “has strayed beyond the leftward boundary of the reasonable too many times,” the daily paper wrote in endorsing O’Brien’s opponent, Albert Shen. But Shen—who received 58 percent of his campaign money from outside Seattle, according to city records—lost the primary by a stunning 24 points. If the Seattle Times taught us anything, it’s that its suburban, brain-dead, out-of-touch editorial board is the one that’s strayed beyond the rightward boundary of Seattle. And O’Brien, who has a healthy lead going into the November race, is squarely inside the city’s mainstream.

six stories tall next to a light-rail station, he introduced legislation that would prevent car-tab revenue from connecting our streetcars network, and he refused to oppose a ban on microhousing (market-based housing that workers can actually afford). Licata’s positions effectively shunt Seattle’s poor and working-class citizens to the exurbs—and that’s not progressive. And Licata sucks gangrenous gopher ass on transit. “I’ve been a longtime skeptic of fixed rail, because of the heavy cost,” Licata told the SECB. Licata says building light rail is “a question of timing.” When? After you leave office? Hey, Nick, the rest of us would like a motherfucking light-rail network before Seattle becomes a country club and the rest of us are stuck on bus rides to Kent.

Still… sigh… we’re endorsing Licata.

We honestly love that Licata sponsored a bill mandating paid sick leave, killed a draconian anti-panhandling bill, and has been a police-accountability watchdog. And his opponent, Edwin Fruit, is clueless. “I don’t have a particular agenda,” he told the SECB.

Licata, like Bagshaw, needs real competition—someone to press him into the current century and to get progressive on city-building, not just social services—and that won’t happen until we pass public campaign financing. So vote for Ye Old Licata and vote for campaign financing (vote the fucking shit out of it).

COUNCIL POSITION NO. 8

Mike O’Brien

Typing this makes our fingers burn, but…

The Seattle Times already wrote every-

O’Brien has been the most effective council member in city hall. In his freshman term, he passed a bill to ban plastic bags, thereby reducing the city’s waste. He sponsored legislation that prevents incumbents from rolling over their war chests of cash from one campaign to the next, thereby giving political newcomers a better shot at being elected. He was behind a bill that allows homeless people to sleep in their cars outside churches, and he’s supported paid sick leave and a bill helping people with criminal records get jobs. We even love his fuckups: O’Brien created a registry that lets us block phone-book delivery, but it was struck down in court. At least he tried. In meetings, Shen has revealed that he’s an ill-informed, anti-pot, anti-bike-lane, and anti-streetcar candidate who’s fuzzy—at best—on the functions of the city council. He also says he wants the city to pass a law to arrest panhandlers. But guess what, you clueless dolt? Aggressive begging is already a criminal offense in Seattle. No wonder

The Stranger Election Control Board

CHEAT SHEET

For the November 5, 2013,

STATE

INITIATIVE MEASURE NO. 517 No

INITIATIVE MEASURE NO. 522 Yes

ADVISORY VOTES NO. 3, NO. 4, NO. 5, NO. 6, NO. 7 Maintained

KING COUNTY

CHARTER AMENDMENT NO. 1

COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC DEFENSE Yes

PROPOSITION NO. 1

MEDIC ONE—EMERGENCY MEDICAL

SERVICES RENEWAL OF EXISTING LEVY Approved

EXECUTIVE

Dow Constantine

COUNCIL DISTRICT NO. 1

Rod Dembowski

COUNCIL DISTRICT NO. 5

Dave Upthegrove

COUNCIL DISTRICT NO. 9

Shari Song

PORT OF SEATTLE

COMMISSIONER POSITION NO. 1 John Creighton

COMMISSIONER POSITION NO. 2

Courtney Gregoire

COMMISSIONER

CITY OF SEATTLE

MAYOR Mike McGinn

COUNCIL POSITION NO. 2 Kshama Sawant

COUNCIL POSITION NO. 4 Sally Bagshaw

COUNCIL POSITION NO. 6 Nick Licata

COUNCIL POSITION NO. 8 Mike O’Brien

PROPOSED CHARTER AMENDMENT NO. 19 Yes

PROPOSITION NO. 1 Yes

SEATTLE SCHOOL DISTRICT

Shen’s biggest supporters are the wankers at the Seattle Times and donors who don’t even live in Seattle.

SEATTLE SCHOOL DISTRICT

DIRECTOR DISTRICT NO. 4

Sue Peters

Dear god, it’s school board time. Kill us. The Seattle School Board is the most brainliquefying thing short of embalming fluid. No matter what interesting outsiders and concerned parents and magic space aliens we send to the school board, the board somehow absorbs them into a giant blob of uselessness and continues operating like the tone-deaf, institutionally racist, mathematically illiterate shit-stain it’s been for years. Despite being fed up with that, and despite most of us believing that having children should be illegal anyway, we endorse in these races because children are technically our future, etc.

Here’s what you need to know in this race: Sue Peters is a smart school-district activist and blogger who opposes the corporate education reform agenda (an agenda to build private charter schools with public money and standardize everything!) and is deeply skeptical of many status quo policies in the district, especially when it comes to moneyed interests that want to influence public schooling. She’s supported by most other board members, the teachers union, and national education activist Diane Ravitch.

Opponent Suzanne Dale Estey claims to support many of the same policies, but she’s backed by supporters who suggest a different agenda: Dale Estey raised four times as much money as Peters, from people including Microsoft CEO (and anti-incometax dickwad) Steve Ballmer and developer Matt Griffin, and she is supported by a PAC that raised $76,000 to elect more corporate

SOURCES SAY

IT WEIRD THAT I MEASURE A CANDIDATE BY HER HUSBAND’S INCOME?

BY ERICA C. BARNETT

• “Isn’t it weird,” Erica C. Barnett coyly asked on October 9 on local blog PubliCola, that socialist city council candidate Kshama Sawant claims to fight for the 99 percent, yet has a husband who earns “$100,000 or more” as an engineer at Microsoft? Except it wouldn’t be weird for somebody to advocate for the less advantaged, $100,000 a year would still place Sawant squarely in the 99 percent, and Sawant has been separated from her husband for six years and doesn’t share in his income. It’s an inept smear

• Another week, another poll showing state senator Ed Murray creaming incumbent Mike McGinn in the mayoral polls. A SurveyUSA poll released Monday, October 14, showed that if the election were held that day, 52 percent said they’d vote for Murray, while only 32 percent would vote for McGinn (and 15 percent were undecided). Apparently, those 52 percent haven’t seen either of the recently televised mayoral debates, during which McGinn calmly, handily spanked Murray.

• At least 15 different organizations have been preparing all year to apply for the FCC’s new urban low-power radio station licenses, and that application window was set to open this week, but damn if the government shutdown hasn’t struck again. The diverse applicants—from Hollow Earth Radio to OneAmerica to DASH Center for

reformers to the board. Plus, she’s endorsed by the sponsor of last year’s charter schools measure. Block that crap. Vote for Peters.

DIRECTOR DISTRICT NO. 5

Stephan Blanford

Stephan Blanford is just fine. He’s deeply familiar with Seattle schools and has been a paid consultant for the district before. But he’s supported by some of the same bums as Dale Estey, so why are we endorsing him over his opponent, LaCrese Green? Among other things, because we think Green is a bigoted piece of shit. She sent a letter last October to former school board member Cheryl Chow— who was dying of brain cancer and had recently come out of the closet—saying the fact that Chow was a “lesbian is troubling” and “it won’t go well for you in the hereafter.” Right, are we done here? Vote Blanford.

CITY OF SEATAC

PROPOSITION NO. 1

Yes

We don’t usually endorse local ballot measures outside of Seattle, but we saw the first few letters of “SeaTac” and got confused. This groundbreaking “Good Jobs” initiative would guarantee a $15-an-hour minimum wage, paid sick leave, and other benefits to certain hospitality and transportation workers in and around Sea-Tac International Airport. It would not only restore a living wage to airport workers who have seen their wages decline since Alaska and other airlines outsourced their jobs nearly a decade ago, it would also strike a huge symbolic blow on behalf of low-wage workers who are fighting similar battles in Seattle and throughout the nation. The whole world is watching tiny SeaTac! Vote hella yes!

the Arts—must now wait for the federal government to start functioning again so they can send in their paperwork and get the long-ass bureaucratic process of licensing started.

• Washington State’s conservative, Kochfunded faux–think tank the Freedom Foundation released a report accusing the unions backing SeaTac’s $15-an-hour minimum wage initiative of paying many of their own employees less than the existing state-mandated $9.19-an-hour minimum

“freedom” in “Freedom Foundation” apparently stands for “freedom from math.”

wage. How is that even possible? It’s not. The report’s author merely looked at annual income of union staff, failing to account for the fact that some employees only worked part time or part of the year. Because the “freedom” in “Freedom Foundation” apparently stands for “freedom from math.”

• In a display of buyer’s remorse, the Seattle Times endorsed Democrat Nathan Schlicher over Republican Jan Angel in the special election to fill the 26th Legislative District state senate seat, which was vacated by US Representative Derek Kilmer. Isn’t it weird that after years of warning about the dangers of Democratic hegemony in Olympia, our region’s paper of record now frets that “If elected, Angel’s conservative ideology might empower the unhelpful, far-right fringe of the Senate Republican caucus.” Well, duh.

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ART SPACE AND RACE

How did affordable artist housing in Seattle’s least-white neighborhoods end up more than 80 percent white?

BY JEN GRAVES

At a recent open house at Artspace Hiawatha Lofts, Robert Free Galvan looked around and wondered, “Are there people of color at Hiawatha?”

So he asked.

“One woman said to me, ‘Well, I don’t see color,’” Galvan recalled. “I said, ‘You’re an artist—how can you not see color?’ And then this black dude did come by from next door. And I said, ‘Hey, brother, what color are you?’ and he said, ‘I’m black,’ and I asked her, ‘What color are you?’ and she wouldn’t say a thing.”

Rather than letting the conversation end in silence, Galvan, a Native American 30-year resident of Beacon Hill, decided he did want to know the answer to whether there are black, Latino, Native American, and Asian people living at Hiawatha, a four-story building situated in the crease between the International District, the Central District, and Judkins Park—some of Seattle’s most racially mixed and rapidly gentrifying neighborhoods.

Hiawatha’s neighborhood is 67.9 percent people of color, according to the census. For another perspective, there’s a fascinating “Diversity Index” map created by the city in May 2011, available online. Using data aggregated from 1990, 2000, and 2010, the map shows the probability that any two people chosen at random in a given neighborhood would be of a different race. Where Hiawatha is located, that probability is 73 percent.

After that night, Galvan wondered about the racial breakdown of the affordable artist housing across Seattle, not just at Hiawatha. He wrote to the Seattle Office of Housing and asked for the numbers. Communications officer Todd Burley e-mailed him back. The e-mail said:

Hi Robert,

The Office of Housing funds projects for low-income housing, but does not operate these buildings. We receive annual reports from the nonprofit housing developers that own and operate these buildings, which list racial information on a voluntary basis. The racial stats we have for these projects are:

• Good Shepherd Center (6 units): tenants did not disclose

• LeRoy Helms Center (11 units): 6 White, 5 Other/Multiracial

• Historic Cooper School (35 units): 27 White, 1 Black/African-American, 4 Asian, 3 Other/Multiracial

• Hiawatha Artist Lofts (59 units): 50 White, 4 Black/African-American, 3 Asian, 2 Other/Multiracial

• Tashiro-Kaplan Artist Housing (49 units): 43 White, 1 Black/African-American, 5 Asian I hope that helps, Todd

Again: Outside Hiawatha, in the neighborhood, the population is 67.9 percent people of color. In the building, the population is

16.3 percent people of color.

Across Seattle, the population is 33.7 percent people of color. Inside the city’s affordable artist housing, the known population is 18.2 percent people of color.

Artspace Hiawatha Lofts is whiter than Issaquah, Kennewick, and Medina. Hiawatha is narrowly whiter than the town that elected Sarah Palin mayor. (All information is from the 2010 census.)

Demand for artist housing in Seattle is incredible.

There are a thousand artists on the waiting list for Hiawatha and Tashiro-Kaplan.

The TK opened in 2004 in Pioneer Square. Hiawatha opened in 2008. Both were built and are owned and operated by Artspace, the go-to nonprofit developer of artist space across the country. Artspace is based in Min-

Across Seattle, the population is 33.7 percent people of color.

Inside the city’s affordable artist housing, the known population is 18.2 percent people of color.

neapolis and has 33 projects nationwide.

Now another Artspace project is about to open: Artspace Mt. Baker Lofts, at 2915 Rainier Avenue South.

The four-story building is already all framed out. Construction is projected to be finished by June. The process of picking who will live there is imminent: Within a month, Artspace will start conducting informational meetings on how to fill out applications. Applications will be available in January or February, then a month after that comes the fateful day when a line will form on the street

for the 56 units of first-come, first-served low-income artist housing. (Dates haven’t been set yet.)

In some cities, people have slept out overnight for Artspace housing. If people were to sleep out at Artspace Mt. Baker Lofts, they would find themselves directly in the shadow of the Mount Baker light rail station. They’d be steps away from Franklin High School, where the student population is more than 90 percent people of color, according to a report in the Seattle Times. The population of the neighborhood is 74.6 percent people of color, according to the 2010 census. The Diversity Index map for the neighborhood shows that the probability that any two people chosen at random would be of a different race is 75 percent.

To get the word out about Artspace Mt. Baker Lofts to people of color, a group of “community members and artists for social change” circulated a mass e-mail. It was written by Juanita Unger, a white Canadianborn dancer/musician:

If any of you have driven down Rainier Avenue past Mount Baker light rail you surely have seen the massive construction project right next to the train station… this is the future site of Artspace, an organization that develops affordable work/live artist studios and apartments starting at under 400 per month. The problem is that there is a gross underrepresentation of minority populations within these developments. This new space in Rainier Valley deserves to have its residents be representative of the diverse and dynamic community in which it is located. Please spread the word…

On the official website for Artspace Mt. Baker Lofts, the very first project goal listed is “To create permanently affordable artist housing serving a multi-ethnic community.” Artspace project manager Rebecca Morton, herself a poet, was one of the people Galvan reached out to after his initial experience at Hiawatha. She e-mailed him about Artspace’s commitment to promoting diversity and work in Rainier Valley for the past four years. She’s in contact with about 20 organizations, including Franklin High School, the Vietnamese Friends Association, and the Ethiopian Community Mutual Association. She also listed six Rainier Valley events

me and my partner Cathryn [Vandenbrink, Artspace vice president of properties] is outreach. I wish that this explanation of this process was sophisticated. It comes down to having a lot of coffee, and going to a lot of community meetings, and always answering my phone, and always asking people who else should I be talking to.”

There’s lots of misinformation about how to get a spot at Artspace. The facts are simple. For a new building like Mt. Baker, there is no waiting list. Everyone must get in the actual physical line on “intake day” to be considered. After that, Artspace has only two qualifications: income eligibility and artist selection.

To income-qualify, an artist’s income must be 60 percent or lower of the area median income as measured by HUD, which for King County is $86,700. (Note to HUD: Um, you sure?)

Then, to artist-qualify, Artspace’s policy is: “One adult member of each family must be actively engaged in an art form.” The artist does not have to make any money from their art, only to demonstrate ongoing commitment to it. The panel of volunteer artists making the determination do not judge “quality.”

“Show a body of work, show that you’re actively engaged in that work,” Vandenbrink explains. “It’s not about judging whether the committee thinks it’s good or not—it’s are you passionate about what you do, is this how you define yourself. You may not make a dime out of it—artists are working in hospitals, schools, restaurants all over the city, and they’re coming back and spending a big chunk of their time doing the creative work that makes our city interesting.”

ARTIST

People may sleep outside overnight to try to get into Artspace Mt. Baker Lofts. Selection is first-come, firstserved. E-mail rebecca.morton@artspace.org to receive notification of applications, workshops for help applying, and advance notice for when it’s time to camp out.

where she’d be giving out information in August and September alone.

In a recent hard-hat tour of the construction site on a windy, cold weekday afternoon, Morton stood out on the top floor of the building, overlooking what seemed like the entire city: the skyscrapers to the north, the forest immediately to the west, mountains to the south, and the elevated light rail track so close to the building that it looks like you might step right onto the train car from one of the lofts. It’s a beautiful Seattle place.

“We can’t preference one tenant over another,” Morton explained. “We’re firstcome, first-served. The important part for

Artspace is against homogeneity in more than skin tone, but skin tone is related to cultural diversity, Vandenbrink elaborated. “If you are interested in Somali music or Eritrean dance forms, yes, you are an artist in our eyes,” she said. “That’s what’s important: in our eyes. Even the whole white artist community thinks, ‘Oh, artist housing, that means it’s for painters.’ This is for all creative people and cultural practitioners. Music and dance and performance and arts and crafts. We include curators and stage managers. We err on the side of inclusion, not exclusion.”

Spread the word. E-mail Morton at rebecca.morton@ artspace.org to receive notification of applications, workshops for help applying, and advance notice for when it’s time to camp out.

In other words, Mt. Baker does not have to be a repeat of Hiawatha.

Galvan, the man who started this conversation with his question at the open house, said Artspace has mentioned tapping him for a volunteer panel on intake day. He wants to do whatever he can.

“I don’t have any friends here [on Beacon Hill] anymore, because all my friends of color have left, they don’t live here no more,” Galvan says. “Even my son moved to Kent. I mean, I see the strategy that’s going on at the city, turning all the low-income housing into mixed-income growth, turning people out of the city. Even Rome had its slaves living in Rome.”

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The Things We Keep

Why Do Relics of the Dead Mean So Much to Us?

BY REBECCA BROWN

One of the favorite things I own is a leaf I took from the house where Balzac lived at the end of his life when he was hiding out from creditors. His writing desk was in the house, slightly beaten up and dented all over the top where he had pressed too hard with his caffeine-fueled pen (he died of caffeine poisoning). I also have a picture of his coffee pot. People try to imitate the people they admire, and sometimes people try to get— or to get near to—a piece of them.

I was thinking this a few weeks ago as I walked home from St. James Cathedral, where I had gone to see another desk, the writing desk of Saint Therese of Lisieux. Her “desk” was a rectangular wooden box about the size of a briefcase with a drawer in it for paper, ink, little stuff. She wrote some amazing work on this desk, which I finally got around to reading after having put it off because St. Therese’s nickname, “the Little Flower of Jesus,” or just “the Little Flower,” rubbed me wrong. Either “little” or “flower” sound gooey to me; together they’re almost toxic, like Shirley Temple or Little Nell or Disney or a grown woman who puts on a child’s voice to try to sound “cute.” (Cute has a shelf life.) Therese’s cursory biography didn’t help: She died young in a convent apparently without complaint. The myth of her made her seem like she was never human or flesh and blood, but invented by some gooey sentimentalist.

But then I actually read some of the work (an autobiography called Story of a Soul, letters, poems). That word “little” she uses is about her awareness that most of us are never going to do huge, important things—we’ll never be crusaders or heroes or write as great as Virginia Woolf; we’ll never have to make a choice as hard as Sophie’s or probably any choice that’s truly a matter of life and death. We’ll mostly just

lead forgettable little lives. These are lives in which you’ll be irritated by someone fidgeting next to you when you want them to be quiet, or by someone splashing water on you because they’re clumsy. There will be times you’ll want, if you’re like Therese, to glare, or if you’re like me, to throttle whoever is bugging you. But also, if you’re like Therese, there will be times you will decide to not. Part of Therese’s “little” way is to recognize that though you are both insignificant and often very petty in your head, you don’t have to always act like that.

St. Therese lived a lot inside her head. She also only lived 24 years, the last nine of them in a convent. Like a lot of other l9th-century romantics

(Rimbaud was a near contemporary, Melville, Flaubert, Wilde— Baudelaire’s Flowers of Evil preceded the birth of “the Little Flower” by 20-ish years), Therese dreamed of going to exotic places. The daughter of two extremely pious parents, however, she never left the province where she was born. She wanted to do exotic, un-female things like be a priest or apostle or missionary, but became instead what a lot of brainy l9th-century females became: a nun.

ues littleness. Therese wasn’t able to have the adventures she imagined, but instead of becoming bitter, she thought and wrote adventurously. To recognize that Therese’s role is important is to recognize the importance of desire and intent, of acknowledging the limits with which most of us live.

Mary Shelley kept the heart of her dead husband, Percy, wrapped up in a napkin in her house.

Like a lot of late-l9th/early-20th-century people and literary figures (Keats, Mimi in La Bohème, the drag queen in Genet’s Our Lady of the Flowers), Therese died of tuberculosis, which was a nasty way to die. It was long and smelly and wasted you and involved a lot of bodily fluids (some of why it was easy for Jonathan Larson to transpose the TB in La Bohème to AIDS in Rent). Therese didn’t avoid the approach of death or constantly romanticize it the way a writer of a novel or opera or hagiography might. In addition to saying things about hope and that she was okay to die, she also said brutal things like, when asked what she was dying of, “I’m dying of death.” Or funny things like, when shown a picture of two priests, “I’m much prettier than they are!”

of a reliquarium as any cemetery or church. I have my mother’s ashes and my father’s cigarette lighter. My wife wears a scarf my dead best friend used to wear. I wear a T-shirt of the husband of a widowed friend who gave it to me and asked me to. I still have a bunch of my long-dead friend Joe’s books.

We keep these material things because they represent the people we no longer have. We keep them to remind us we can do or be or mean something and that the people we admire can inspire us.

Relics can get tricky, though, when the thing means more than whatever gave it meaning. This is partly why the Pontifical Mission Society (they have a sense of humor, too: The guy who was in charge of the “Little Flower” relics tour is named—I kid you not—Father Small, and when I asked him if this was why he got the job, he laughed), which sponsored the tour of Therese’s relics, chose to send Therese’s desk rather than a robe or bone or bodily something. They wanted to honor her as a thinker, writer, and theologian whose work merited her being named, in 1997, a doctor of the church (one of only four women to be so).

Sometimes it seems the Catholic Church, if it has a sense of humor at all, has a bad one. But sometimes it has a terrific one—like when they made stay-at-home Therese a patron of missions, along with Francis Xavier, the 16th-century Jesuit who missioned to Goa, India, Japan, Borneo, etc. (Another funny Catholic and relic thing: Xavier’s body—er, most of it—is in Goa; his forearm is in Rome.)

It’s funny to make those two the patrons of missions, but also serious, in that it val-

Therese was human—a weird and awkward girl who discovered that because her life was small, she could write about what it is to be a petty, awkward, very human human. She wrote in searing, brave, and selfaware ways about fear and aloneness and having and not having faith.

Catholics aren’t the only ones with relics. Buddhists have a relic of Buddha’s tooth. Mary Shelley kept the heart of her dead husband, Percy, wrapped up in a napkin in her house. The EMP has stuff of Hendrix, Cobain, rock stars. It’s as much

Missioning, i.e., people talking to people and feeding, housing, and sheltering people, and advocating for immigrants, prisoners, and poor people, can change the world or other humans’ lives and is work where sometimes you can actually see the change. But words and books can change things, too, even though you probably won’t see it. Therese’s words were about trying to cope with the littleness of who you are but not letting yourself get bitter or squished. Her handwriting, of which there was a sample in a notebook on her desk, was really, really small. But the words and ideas she wrote in it were huge.

Comment on this story at THESTRANGER.COM

STRANGER SUGGESTS

Harry’s Chicken Joint

CHOW

If you don’t live in West Seattle, the fried birds in this cozy chicken shack are worth the trip. Owner Bruce Cougan, who named the joint after his dad, soaks his birds in buttermilk, dredges them in Broussards Cajun seasoning (if you ask nicely, he might give you a sample container to try at home), and then sticks them in a smoker. This trick gives his fried chicken a tenderness that seems supernatural. Then they go into 20-quart Dutch ovens to seal their crisp, but not armor-thick, crust. Add a few sides—fried okra, collards, beans—and enjoy a little dollop of heaven (Harry’s Chicken Joint, 6032 California Ave SW, harryschickenjoint.com, 4–8 pm) BRENDAN KILEY

‘Return to Grey Gardens’

As all who watched the last season of RuPaul’s Drag Race are aware, Seattle drag performer Jinkx Monsoon is an entertainment powerhouse, and her channeling of “Little Edie” in Grey Gardens is one of her greatest achievements. Tonight, as part of the Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival, Jinkx reanimates her Little Edie alongside San Francisco drag star Peaches Christ in Return to Grey Gardens, a live stage spoof of the Maysles brothers’ documentary classic, which will screen in full immediately after the stage show. (Harvard Exit, 807 E Roy St, slgff.stranger tickets.com, 7:15 pm, $33) DAVID SCHMADER

Pinball Rally

GAMES

In Los Angeles in 1933, a company called Pacific Amusements invented Contact, the first game with a ball shooting out of a little hole into a “pinball” playing field. In Seattle in 2011, a company called Hilliard’s invented several new and delicious craft beers. Enjoy both inventions at this first-ever pinball rally at Hilliard’s Brewery. Pinball collectors will show off their machines, and it’s rumored that someone is bringing a tricked-out Addams Family game. Play for fun or enter the tournament with a cheap $5 buy-in. (Hilliard’s Brewery, 1550 NW 49th St, facebook.com/seattlepinballrally, noon–8 pm, free, all ages) KELLY O

People Will Talk

Kary Wayson, a two-time finalist for a Stranger Genius Award, is a wonderful, bewitching, hardto-pin-down poet whose genius is seduction—the seduction that secrets and sounds produce, mostly. Asked what she will contribute tonight, she says, “I’m potentially/metaphorically taking my pants off.” (So put her down for that kind of seduction, too.)

Joining her are the award-encrusted novelist and short-fiction star Richard Bausch, short-story writer Roxane Gay, and the Stranger Genius Award–winning musician and playwright John Osebold, who’s making music out of “surreal tweet-sized rumors” and “a description of what you experience when you die.” (Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, hugohouse.org, 7:30 pm, $25) CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE

Birds at the Burke BIRDS

If you love birds, you can see hundreds of them from the Burke Museum’s ornithology collection—from hummingbirds to hornbills—at this new annual event. You should also know that the birds are all dead, so there’s that. They’re going to let you touch the dead birds, too, and demonstrate how they prepare their bird specimens—it’ll be like bird Halloween! The Audubon Society and various ornithological experts will be on hand to answer questions and make you feel okay about all the dead birds. (Burke Museum, UW campus, burkemuseum.org, 10 am–4 pm, $10) BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT

‘David Hartt: Stray Light’

ART Through a friend, David Hartt talked his way into the Johnson Publishing Company—home of Jet and Ebony magazines and the first black business to have its own building on Chicago’s Loop—just before the company announced it would have to downsize and move. Johnson’s headquarters were built in 1971, during a heyday for both magazine publishing and civil rights, and became an instant museum of African and black American art and design. Hartt’s striking photos and videos of the building’s last days depict a combination of height-of-empire and ghost town. Can a place made for pictures ever die? (Henry Art Gallery, 15th Ave NE and 41st St, henryart.org, 11 am–4 pm, $10 suggested, through Jan 5) JEN GRAVES

Brad Stone

The Blow

MUSIC

It’s rare these days to fall in love with an album, to find yourself turning shuffle off for a change and just submerging yourself into a single musical document, end over end. The Blow’s self-titled new album is that kind of phenomenal work, a unified theory of music-making sent from a different, more harmonious planet. Khaela Maricich’s delicate vocals and the science-fictional beats she creates with Melissa Dyne combine to create an odyssey that sounds like a novel about a robotic outcast’s quest for understanding in a confusing and sometimes unkind world. (Neumos, 925 E Pike St, neumos.com, 8 pm, $15 adv, 21+) PAUL CONSTANT

BOOKS

For better or worse, Amazon.com is the future of Seattle. Even the most strident anti-Amazon protester—an independent bookseller, say—has to admit that if Amazon were to suddenly go out of business, Seattle would be flushed down the economic toilet Bloomberg Businessweek senior author Brad Stone’s The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon contextualizes the online retailer with information garnered from his exclusive access inside the company. After Stone’s reading, I’ll be hosting a roundtable discussion about Amazon, Stone’s book, and what it all means for Seattle. (Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, townhallseattle.org, 7:30 pm, $5) PAUL CONSTANT

ARTS

ART Where Race Was Run

Documenting the Incredible Original Headquarters of Ebony

BY JEN GRAVES

When David Hartt walked into the headquarters of the Johnson Publishing Company in Chicago in 2010 with his cameras, he was an archivist entering the lair of another archivist. He shot photos and videos of rows of encyclopedias of black history. Hardbound volumes of Jet, Ebony, Ebony Jr., Black World, Black Stars. Lovingly tended shelves of first-edition books about John Brown and the Civil War and by Booker T. Washington, individually tied with ribbon. The scenes are introverted, all those words and pictures hidden behind closed covers. But the nature of publishing is to project, and other scenes quickly establish that Johnson Publishing is not an introverted place. It was born ready for its close-up.

expense-spared materials: suede, Hermes leather, marble slabs, hand-woven textiles, zebra wood, lacquer, curved glass, alligator skin dyed Zanzibar red. The wall panels in the elevators changed seasonally. On the 11th floor, the top, there was a sauna. A black florist tended the lobby garden.

Many people felt “not just that the magazines came out of there, but that race was being run there,” said Elizabeth Alexander in a talk at the Studio Museum in Harlem last year.

Alexander is author of the book The Black Interior, which includes the essay “The World According to Jet, Or, Notes Toward a Notion of Race-Pride.” She had been invited to talk with David Hartt at the Studio Museum because his pictures and video of the Johnson Publishing Company were there in an exhibition called Stray Light

REVIEW

David Hartt:

Stray Light

Henry Art Gallery Through Jan 5

In 1971, John H. Johnson built a majestic headquarters. It was the first one on prestigious Michigan Avenue to be owned by black people. Its art and design was unparalleled. Readers got to see it in a 30-page Ebony spread that pictured the vast collection of black African and American art throughout the offices, the futuristic rooms in colors like mauve and tangerine and yellow with custom carpets, and the finishings made of no-

Stray Light originated in Chicago and now is at the Henry Art Gallery in Seattle. Their hour-long Studio Museum exchange is on YouTube. Reading from her essay, Alexander explained she’s a devoted reader of Jet despite that “the Johnsonian model of race-pride” troubles and alienates her in many ways. How, for instance, does “the Johnsonian model of race-pride” make room for difference? How would it accommodate for a black man like Hartt?

Hartt sat next to Alexander at the Studio Museum and explained his relationship to black American pride. “I didn’t grow up with it as part of my cultural heritage. I grew up in Montreal with white Jewish parents.” He comes across in conversation as the world’s least histrionic person; I met him once when he lived in Seattle briefly and showed at Howard House in 2009, and I have virtually no memory of the meeting at all.

After going to the School of the Art Insti-

tute of Chicago, Hartt and his wife moved to New York, then Detroit, and he stopped making art entirely for almost a decade, feeling like he needed to find a subject that could sustain him over the course of an entire career. Finally, he found one: He would take pictures in places where people come together for an idea, or certain agreed-upon ideals. Utopian communes. Union headquarters. Newspaper offices. Shelters for abused women and children. Think tanks. The place “running” blackness in the US. He would take the ideas

The artist on his relationship, or lack thereof, to black American pride: “I grew up in Montreal with white Jewish parents.”

as they had been translated into three-dimensional concrete designs and environments, and he would translate those into two dimensions, framed.

For philosophical reasons as well as, one suspects, temperamental ones, Hartt adopts a stance of detachment, of approaching from a distance. He does lots of research, then tries to approach every site new, as if he knows nothing, brings nothing, imposes nothing except the in-the-moment desire to make images of what he sees.

None of his other sites are already as selfconsciously visual as Johnson Publishing. This adds layers of meaning, and layers of pleasure. There was added urgency and interest, too—the day Hartt began shooting was the day that Johnson announced it had sold the proud building and was downsizing.

LOOSE LIPS

• Last weekend at On the Boards, audiences squirmed through the quartet, Heather Kravas’s punishing four-part vivisection of dance genres: sinister naked cheerleading, agonizing ballet with interminable sous-sus steps (a hop up onto the toes and back down again that should be banned as torture under the Geneva convention), a Broadway-style chorus line whose only lyric was “want,” and disturbingly cartoonish (i.e., protofascist) European folk dance. Most of the audience sat on metal bleachers on the stage, adding to the discomfort—both psychological and lumbar. After the applause died down, a couple was heard to say, “We’re going to have to discuss this.” “Yeah. Hard.” The night was classic OtB, with the audience hacked into three camps: love, loathing, and confusion, or all three simultaneously.

• Onstage in New York last week, Jane Fonda handed former Stranger staffer Lindy West the 2013 Women’s Media Center Social Media Award while Lily Tomlin and Gloria Steinem cheered. West gave a rousing acceptance speech. “I… hear people asking, ‘Where is the next generation of the social-justice movement? Where are all the young feminists and womanists and activists?’ Dude, they’re on the internet. They’re working their asses off. And if you can’t hear them, it’s because you’re not listening.” Read her every day on Jezebel

• In Iceland, you can bake a loaf of bread via geothermal energy by burying it in the ground. TRUE! We ate some of this bread last week, and it was good.

• After a well-received premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival, Megan Griffiths’s Lucky Them—the Toni Collette–led dramedy about a Seattle music critic assigned to track down her long-lost rock-star love (and featuring a key unbilled cameo by one of the biggest movie stars on the planet)—has been acquired by IFC Films for US release.

• We already know that anonymous was a woman. Now there’s evidence to suggest that the world’s first artists—the cave painters—were probably women, too. Last week in National Geographic American archaeological anthropologist Dean Snow shared his findings that most of the handprints in caves 20,000 to 40,000 years old were female, not male, as had been assumed. When you assume, you make a man out of you and me.

• Hear ye, hear ye. To get listed in the next round of large, spicy, post-them-on-thefridge-useful A&P arts calendars, here’s what you need to know. The deadline: November 1. The dates covered: December 4 to February 28. The calendars: readings, performance, art, film, jazz, and classical music. Send info to calendar@ seattleaandp.com

• Canadian short-story-ist Alice Munro won the Nobel Prize in literature last week. Only Bret Easton Ellis was jealous; everyone else was happy for her.

• As winter approaches, many Seattle Lyft cars are considering letting their beards grow out.

The cool Hartt was thrust into the position of unwitting memorialist, which turned this particular project into an adventure story. (It was originally commissioned by Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago curator Michael Darling, who also spent a few years in Seattle organizing such exhibitions as Target Practice and Kurt, as in Cobain. Darling connected Hartt to an MCA trustee who finally got Hartt access to the notoriously inaccessible Johnson Publishing headquarters.)

At the Henry Art Gallery, there are four photographs in one small gallery and a video installation in another. The four photographs are large and concerned with the usual twodimensional variables: framing, focus, decisions about what’s in the center versus on the margins. A map is implicitly drawn with crisscrossing roads between territories of oppression, prosperity, and the act of archiving, of saving something more than memory or story. Photography and video are flimsy substitutes for the things they depict.

Hartt says photographs are substantively different from videos. There aren’t any people in his photos. Portraiture is for video, he claims. It doesn’t feel like it much matters whether you agree. In Ebony’s promo images from 1972, it’s comically hard to find the people sometimes, they’re so camouflaged in fashions that match the corporate vision. Was everyone, on all 11 floors, told what to wear on picture day? Or were their own closets at home already clones of this place? Were they that ideologically aligned with Johnson’s project? Visualizing who you are is making pictures out of ideas every day, after all.

In the new footage of the video, presentday workers wear business casual. The environment is a relic; the workers no longer dress like it. We have the sense of getting close to them, poring over the pictures and notes on their desks, reading their full names printed on desk plates—we could google them, maybe, ask for an update since they moved to a new office building.

Yet it’s not as if we know them any better than we knew the camouflaged 1972 subjects. Hartt never talks to the people at work around him, and he doesn’t transmit the sounds they make. A soundtrack plays instead by Chicago’s Nicole Mitchell, a pioneering black woman in jazz. Her music, written for the film, moves with the rhythm of what the camera sees, the agitated wallpaper, the slow, drawn-out meetings seen through layers of glass.

By being deliberately withdrawn and withdrawing, Hartt’s pictures produce a nagging desire to know what the artist thinks. But to know what exactly? His opinions on “Johnsonian race-pride,” the sheltering of women,

and the model of hippie farms as utopias? It seems relevant that Hartt is a Canadian surveying American ideologies in his deadpan work, adopting and playing with the stance of an outsider in part because he is one. It’s possible that he either isn’t interested in his own opinions on his subjects, or is satisfied not knowing exactly what to think. Maybe he’s more interested in questions like, does a photograph imply a commitment? And… commitment to what?

The whole floor of the gallery at the Henry where Hartt’s video plays is covered in a custom-made carpet just like one from the old Johnson Publishing Company. Everything is soft underfoot as the movie and its music play, and sometimes the pattern of the carpet runs right up into the same pattern captured in the projected image. You just want to be taken there with it. Is that so much to ask?

Visceral Video Interstitial Theatre Rejects

the Screen-Saver Stuff

BY JEN GRAVES

It started in a closet. The closet was at the bottom of a flight of stairs leading down from a lobby in Belltown. In this lobby is a tiny but energetic art gallery called Form/ Space Atelier. In 2010, Kira Burge had just moved to Seattle after finishing a degree in fibers and textiles at the University of Oregon, and she was gallery-sitting at Form/Space when she complained to owner Paul Pauper, “There’s no place for video art in Seattle.”

“Well, you could show in my closet,” Pauper said.

PREVIEW

Rinse | Reuse | Repeat Interstitial Theatre at Belltown Collective Through Nov 8

The first closet video show happened just for a few hours, between the end of one show and the start of another up in the lobby. Called Interstitial Theatre for obvious reasons, the closet gallery lasted six months, coproduced with Julia Bruk, a Russian-born artist who grew up mostly in Seattle and got her degree in digital media from the University of Washington in 2010. To expand, Interstitial Theatre moved to Bruk’s studio across from Showbox Sodo. When artists were kicked out of that space, Interstitial Theatre went on the road: The Mobile Screen Tour, to eight different neighborhoods, was literally a box of a gallery on wheels. These women do

STEPHEN JIMINEZ

Wednesday, October 23 at 7pm

Who was the real Matthew Shepard and what were the true circumstances of his brutal murder? The Book of Matt is sure to stir passions and inspire dialogue as it re-frames this crime and its cast of characters.

DAN SIMMONS

(Little Brown)

Wednesday, October 30 at 7pm

A thrilling tale of high-altitude death and survival set on the snowy summits of Mount Everest, from the bestselling author of The Terror. It’s 1924 and the race to summit the world’s highest mountain has been brought to a terrified pause by the shocking disappearance of George Mallory and Sandy Irvine high on the shoulder of Mt. Everest.

not give up.

Finally, they have a humongous place, almost 17,000 square feet that once housed Egbert’s furniture in Belltown, two blocks from the closet, thanks to Storefronts Seattle. Burge, Bruk, and Julia Greenway, a painter from Michigan who joined them, will have the space for three months.

Greenway, who moved to Seattle in 2011, teaches yoga accompanied by video art on the dark, romantic second floor every Tuesday. The top floor is two large halls with high walls, perfect for projections and monitors.

The basement is an arcade of white columns and clean concrete floor.

Their first exhibition, on the theme of repetition and the pursuit of happiness, features mostly Seattle artists—Dakota Gearhart, Erin Elyse Burns, Ellen Dicola, more—plus a Massachusetts artist named Sarah Bliss, whose intense and physical videos embody a sensibility Burge, Bruk, and Greenway want to encourage in Seattle.

“I haven’t been seeing a lot of work that’s reaching into a real emotional depth—like, visceral,” Burge said. “No: guttural. There’s a lot of surface. A lot of snapshots of the everyday. “And at least 50 percent of the submissions we get are psychedelic. Screen savers.”

Interstitial Theatre is part of a lineage that began with and/or gallery on Capitol Hill in the 1970s. “We watched Western Bridge and Lawrimore Project and all these places we loved close,” Bruk said. “It was like, we have to open something.”

BOOKS

Southern Discomfort

Allan Gurganus Uses the Sweetest Voice to Tell the Saddest Stories

BY PAUL CONSTANT

Allan Gurganus gets an eensy bit agitated if you refer to him as a regional writer. Even though all his books—from his 1989 best-selling debut, Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All, to today—take place primarily in the South, he rejects the idea that he’s a Southern writer.

“I don’t wake up in the morning,” he said during an interview last week at Elliott Bay Book Company, putting on a sarcastic cotillion drawl, “and think, ‘What a beautiful Southern morning,’ and eat a beautiful piece of Southern fried ham, and then get a South-

ern mammy to come in here and wash the dishes.”

All the stories in his new collection of novellas, Local Souls, take place in the same fictional town of Falls, North Carolina (population 6,000), but Gurganus doesn’t see himself as following in the footsteps of William Faulkner, Flannery O’Connor, and Donald Harington. (To my surprise, Gurganus has never even read Harington, though he does dearly love Faulkner’s Light in August, saying, “I think he was 35 when he wrote that, which makes me quite cross.”)

Instead, he defines himself as a writer taking advantage of the fertile ground of his childhood, which happened to take place in

The stories in Local Souls are equal parts feathers and sandpaper.

racially charged, born-again communities in North Carolina. “I think of myself as someone who’s born in a region and whose fiction has international implications. Not just local color.” He slyly added, “The fact that I’m reading in Seattle, Washington, a sophisticated city, indicates that.” Gurganus knows how to lay on the charm; when I asked if he agrees with my description of his writing style as “joyful,” he cooed, “I always want to have a good time, on and off the page. I’m having a good time with you, Paul, right now. I’m not thinking of anyone but Paul right now.”

REVIEW

Local Souls by Allan Gurganus (Liveright Publishing, $25.95)

Gurganus’s narrators are almost always likewise polite, but there’s a cruelty simmering underneath. The second story in Local Souls, “Saints Have Mothers,” is narrated by a newly divorced mother whose kindhearted daughter dies on a charitable school trip to southern Africa. She admits, in an aside to the reader, just before she calls her reviled exhusband to give him the terrible news that his daughter has died: “I would lie to you if I told you I did not actually somewhat savor this.” It’s not that she’s happy that her daughter’s dead, of course, but the idea of ruining her ex-husband’s new life is too exciting to let the moment pass unmentioned.

The jovial voice in Gurganus’s fiction is often in service of sharing some sort of bad news. The three stories in Local Souls are equal parts feathers and sandpaper. The first novella tells the tragic story of a young girl nicknamed “Fear Not” whose father is decapitated in a boating accident. The narrator relays the story thirdhand, often with some juicy details about the people involved that he

scraped off Google tossed in, and the distance of scandal and rumor dulls some of the grisly details. The third story, “Decoy,” lays out the last days of the most beloved doctor in all of Falls. Even the pleasures of retirement after a long career as a general practitioner are accompanied by itchiness: “Doc acted unsentimental. Every grocery aisle held damp-eyed wheezy well-wishers trying not to show him their new rash.” It’s obviously a funny line, but it’s also intensely illustrative of the horrors of a small-town doctor: He knows all the nasty secrets lurking just underneath those sensible cotton underpants.

Gurganus comes by this bittersweet tone honestly. “I was a Vietnam veteran who did not get killed,” he explained. “I was a gay man who lived in Manhattan before and during the arrival of AIDS. I lost a lot of my friends and my boyfriends. And I made it through unscathed, physically at least.”

These stories are the work of a master. Gurganus learned writing from John Cheever, Grace Paley, and the exceptionally underrated Stanley Elkin. “I’m very interested in the genealogy of art, in being part of a tradition,” he said. He lays out his “pedigree” at the beginning of every writing class he teaches; students of his include novelists Ann Patchett and Donald Antrim, who was recently awarded a MacArthur “Genius” Award. Though closer to 70 than to 60, Gurganus is on the cusp of a period of great productivity. Besides Local Souls, he’s putting the finishing touches on a collection of 20 short stories and a big, ambitious novel titled The Erotic History of a Southern Baptist Church, in which he hopes to look at America through one of our most conservative institutions. Gurganus seems to have empathy for the “confusion” felt by the Baptists in the book. “They don’t really understand when a strong feeling blooms in the lower body whether that feeling is going to go up to Paradise or down to the genitals.” Most Gurganus characters eventually realize that sometimes heaven and hell are the same thing wrapped up in varying levels of politeness.

THEATER

Casual Violence

Sugar Daddies Is a Cotton-Candy Comedy About Viciousness

BY BRENDAN KILEY

Sir Alan Ayckbourn is 74 years old and the author of 76 plays. (At least—he may have dashed off a few more in the time it

took to write that sentence.) Ayckbourn specializes in comedies about rocky marriages and awkward living-room conversations, earning him his reputation as the playwright laureate of England’s middle class. He’s popular on the West End and in American regional theaters—ACT has produced 10 of his plays—but has also taken flak for writing slight, inconsequential, cotton-candy comedy. His champions say he is a research scientist of the human condition. His detractors say his sample size is too small.

REVIEW

Sugar Daddies

ACT Theatre

Through Nov 3

Which brings us to the problem at the heart of Sugar Daddies, Ayckbourn’s 2003 comedy about a credulous country girl who falls in with a suspicious benefactor: Is it possible to write a cotton-candy comedy that hinges on extreme human suffering? People have written piercing and intelligent comedies about spectacularly unfunny subjects in the past—Bertolt Brecht, Suzan-Lori Parks, and Mel Brooks come to mind—but they have always stared their nemesis right in the face, bringing us uncomfortably close to human horror so they can tear into it with jokes. Does Ayckbourn’s blasé, drawing-room style have what it takes to do the same?

Sugar Daddies begins somewhere in London, sometime around Christmas, when an older man in a Santa suit (Val, played ebulliently by Seán G. Griffin) gets hit by a car.

It’s nothing serious, but a sweet-hearted young woman who’s just moved to the city, Sasha (Emily Chisholm), invites him into her apartment to rest and call for a ride home.

“Uncle Val” takes a shine to his naive new friend and becomes her benefactor, showering her with gifts and lavish nights out. Sasha’s world-wise cousin (Elinor Gunn) suspects something’s up with the new sugar daddy, as does the retired, one-eyed policeman who’s just moved in downstairs (John Patrick Lowrie). They’re right and wrong— Val is hiding something, but his designs on Sasha are not what they suspect. (Spoiler alert from here on out.)

Ayckbourn came to Seattle to direct Sugar Daddies himself, and he has coaxed precise and energetic performances out of his actors.

Chisholm is particularly exact, walking us through her character’s transformation from wide-eyed, vaguely hippie country mouse to entitled brat in designer clothes. Uncle Val, it turns out, is a notorious pimp who made a fortune from a lifetime of commissioned rape and murder. But he spoils Sasha unconditionally as a half-assed penance for all the lives he gobbled up and lends her a little of the power he holds over women across London. We can see it in Chisholm’s manner, giddy with borrowed authority, walking around the stage as if her palms were perpetually outstretched

for nice things to fall into.

Sugar Daddies is a playground for the actors—they get to lie, shout, change their minds in the middle of a sentence, and play all the broad emotions—but the performances are the best thing about it. The comedy is simple and mildly raunchy in a sitcom kind of way. (“Stiffen up,” a recurring pun on arthritis and erections, gets some of the evening’s biggest laughs.)

But the play’s conclusion is troubling. Ayckbourn doesn’t ignore Val’s viciousness— we see him humiliate and terrorize a former employee—nor does he deal with it. Great comedians can find material in the worst violence and human degradation, but there’s an expectation they’ll bring a modicum of thoughtfulness to the subject. Ayckbourn isn’t thoughtful. He conjures a demon for the sake of convenience and dismisses him, unexamined, with the flick of a pen, resolving his plot with a neat, unearned bow. If Sugar Daddies were just another bedroom farce, that bow would simply be cheap. But, in this case, it feels cheapening.

THEATER

Dead Sound

An Anemic Production of Carrie: The Musical

BY GOLDY

The good news is that Carrie: The Musical, based on the not-so-successful 2012 revival of the infamous 1988 Broadway megaflop, isn’t nearly as awful as you might expect. The bad news is that this wobbly coproduction by Balagan Theatre and Seattle Theatre Group doesn’t do the uneven material—or us—any favors.

You all know the story based on the Stephen King thriller, so there’s no need for a spoiler alert: Carrie, the mousy daughter of an abusive and religiously fanatical single mother, is bullied at high school, resulting in the popular girls being disciplined by their well-meaning gym teacher. One girl seeks to atone for her misbehavior by asking her boyfriend to escort Carrie to the prom, while another girl plots a humiliating revenge by rigging the vote for prom king and queen so she can dump a bucket of pig’s blood on the unsuspecting Carrie’s head. But little do they know that Carrie is developing dangerous psychokinetic powers that ultimately lead to the spectacular mass murder of nearly the entire cast.

It’s a familiar, now-campy premise that almost begs for self-parody, but in its more contemplative moments, Michael Gore’s score actually proves quite beautiful, even moving. Carrie is by far at its best when left in the hands of its two costars: Tony Award–winner Alice Ripley as Carrie’s mother, and the young and talented Keaton Whittaker, already a Broadway veteran in her own right (A Little Night Music), in the title role. Their solos and duets provide the most interesting and touching musical moments, with Ripley’s soaring operatic soprano playing counterpoint to Whittaker’s powerful Broadway belting. Indeed, Ripley and Whittaker’s act one duet, “Evening Prayers,” is as fine a musical-theater performance as I’ve seen on a Seattle stage—almost fine enough to make you forget the Moore’s incredibly crappy acoustics.

As lovely as the restoration of the Moore’s interior may be, they’ve apparently done nothing to address the acoustic issues that made last year’s Balagan production of Hedwig virtually unintelligible. Through the Moore’s sound system, chorus numbers amazingly come out both too muted and too loud, the words and the harmonies lost in a mysterious sound-dampening muddle. Kendra Kassebaum (the gym teacher), a Broadway veteran fresh off a standout supporting role in the 5th Avenue’s otherwise so-so premiere of Secondhand Lions, manages to blast through this sound barrier in her only number, the pop ballad “Unsuspecting Hearts,” but the rest of the cast proves less capable, which wasn’t helped by dozens of blown sound cues on opening night. (The program doesn’t list a sound designer, which could be part of the problem.)

In a small rehearsal room with just a piano and no mics, this ensemble might really kick ass. But on the sound-deadening stage of the Moore, not so much.

REVIEW

Carrie: The Musical Balagan Theatre and Seattle Theatre Group at the Moore Theatre Through Oct 26

The rest of the production is unremarkable. There’s not much choreography—it’s just not that type of a show—and Tom Sturge’s frugal design relies heavily on lighting. As for the special effects, if you’re wondering how this low-budget production manages to portray Carrie’s telekinetic carnage, the answer is: It doesn’t. Carrie’s growing awareness of her special powers is so understated as to be nearly imperceptible, and the climactic finale is anything but, with victims simply dropping dead at an angry wave from Carrie’s bloodstained hands. But, of course, nothing short of the Moore going up in flames could match the emotional pitch the story line promises. That is a dramatic problem no production of Carrie has ever managed to solve.

Clutch Theatre Fear is Fake

ART

Museums

HENRY ART GALLERY

David Hartt: Stray Light: See review, page 29. Through Jan 5. Jason Dodge: Sculpture that draws inspiration, and sources materials, from everyday life, dead birds, duvets. $10 suggested. Wed-Sun. Through Jan 26. 4100 15th Ave NE 543-2280.

SEATTLE ART MUSEUM

Caudle, and several other artists, in conjunction with the Georgetown Haunted History tour. Free. Each day, from 6-11 pm. Thurs-Sat. Through Oct 19. 980 S Nebraska St 265-9924.

townhallseattle.org. $5. 7:30 pm. Fri 10/18

Continuing Exhibitions

THE BELLTOWN

COLLECTIVE

By William Shakespeare Directed by George Mount

Peru: Kingdoms of the Sun and Moon: The museum turns its focus southward to Peru this season, with a great big sparkling exhibition of rarely seen sculpture, painting, and textiles surveying 3,000 years of patrimony, from the Incas to the viceroys and the saints. $20. Wed-Sun. Through Jan 5. 1300 First Ave, 625-8900.

SEATTLE ASIAN ART MUSEUM

Liu Xiaodong grew up in a small industrial town in China that’s been left behind in the same rapid urbanization that swept him up and out into Beijing and the international art world. In Hometown Boy, he goes back to portray the lost place in heartrending paintings and captioned sketches. A documentary film on the process plays in the gallery, too. It’s a stark and moving little show. $7 suggested. WedSun. Through Jun 29. 1400 E Prospect St, 654-3100.

Gallery

Openings

BRYAN OHNO GALLERY

Lisa Zerkowitz, Katina Huston: Glass art and drawing. Free. Tues-Sat. Through Nov 30. 519

S Main St

COCA GEORGETOWN

Ceci N’est Pas une Pipe: Northwest Flameworking on the Brink of Legalization: A survey of flameworking, that stepchild of glass art, on the occasion of marijuana’s coming-out party. Free. Reception Thurs Oct 17, 5-9 pm. Mon-Fri. 5701 Sixth Ave S, Plaza Ste 258, 728-1980.

G. GIBSON GALLERY

The City : New, surrealistic, highly detailed diorama photographs from Lori Nix. Free. Wed-Sat. Through Nov 23. 300

S Washington St, 587-4033.

GAGE ACADEMY OF ART

Hunched Bodies, Flushed Cheeks: Student Figures and Portraits: Studies of the human form, taking on various stylistic interpretations. Gosh, what a title though, right? A Building for Breathing: Collage, photography, drawings, and text inspired by The Poetics of Space , by Gala Bent and Serrah Russell. Free. Oct 18-Nov 14. 1501 10th Ave E, 526-2787.

JAMES HARRIS GALLERY

Interstitial Theatre: This is the opening of a large new space dedicated to video, sound, and new-media installations, and the issues pertaining to those mediums within Seattle. (There are also weekly yoga classes with video art—Tuesdays at 7.) Free. Sat-Sun. Through Dec 31. 2231 1st Ave

Events

20TH ANNIVERSARY

BENEFIT AUCTION

Buy pictures, or just drink, eat, and celebrate while helping to support photography where you live. The center has a new director, Michelle Dunn Marsh, who brings new energy to the established institution. Photographic Center Northwest, 900 12th Ave, 720-7222. www.pcnw.org.

$150. Fri Oct 18 at 6 pm.

GROUP SHOW

Group Show: Work from seven artists (including Rock Hushka, who by day is curator at Tacoma Art Museum), wine, appetizers, and music from “the Rorschach Trio.” Seattle Psychoanalytic Society and Institute, 4020 E Madison St, Suite 230. Free. Fri Oct 18, 6:30-9 pm.

RACHEL RAVITCH

Rachel Ravitch: A jewelry trunk show with refreshments. Cairo 507 E Mercer St. www.cairocollectionseattle.com. Free. Fri Oct 18, 6-9 pm. visualart@thestranger.com

READINGS

Wed 10/16

BREADLINE

Readers include poet (and Stranger writer) Sarah Galvin and something called 3 Ninjas that I assume is not the kids’ movie, in addition to a presentation inspired by Fantagraphics’ The Intruder zine and poet Elaina Ellis. Vermillion , 1508 11th Ave, 709-9797. www.vermillionseattle.com. $5. 7 pm.

INDU SUNDARESEN

PEOPLE WILL TALK The headliner here is novelist and short story author Richard Bausch. He’s joined by young fiction author Roxane Gay and local poet Kary Wayson, who was short-listed for a Genius Award last year. Music will be provided by Stranger Genius John Osebold. There’s a lot of genius in this lineup, Strangerapproved and otherwise. Hugo House 1634 11th Ave, 3227030. $15-$25. 7 pm.

Sun 10/20

GEEK GIRL CON

Seemingly out of nowhere, a team of Seattle women put together a female-centric nerd convention a few years back. It sold out. Clearly, there was demand. Now in its third year, you can expect more of the same concept from GGC: panels discussing sci-fi and fantasy, nerd culture, and everything else you’d expect to find at a con. Washington State Convention & Trade Center 800 Convention Pl, 2nd Floor, 694-5000. www.wsctc.com. $20-$35. 4 am.

Mon 10/21

KEN JENNINGS Jennings is a fun, funny writer (and, yeah, Jeopardy! champion). You should follow him on Twitter and also attend this reading for his new book Because I Said So!: The Truth Behind the Myths, Tales and Warnings Every Generation Passes Down to Its Kids Lucid, 5241 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

SARA FARIZAN Two young Iranian girls fall in love in Farizan’s novel If You Could Be Mine. Since the story takes place in Iran, complications happen. University Book Store 4326 University Way NE, 6343400. www.bookstore.washington.edu. Free. 7 pm.

ALAN WEISMAN Weisman’s The World Without Us imagined what the world would be like if humanity just disappeared. Now, in Countdown he imagines what we can do as a species to save the future from the various disasters that are staring us down. Town Hall 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. www.townhallseattle.org. Free. 7:30 pm.

Tues 10/22

The Bacchae a bloody Greek tragedy in which Dionysius extracts extremely gory revenge on mortals who don’t worship him, including his creation of the Maenads, wild women who have drunken dance parties in the woods and tear interlopers limb from limb. North Seattle Community College , 9600 College Way N, 526-7791. brownpapertickets.com. Free. Thurs-Sun at 7:30 pm. Through Nov 2.

BECHDEL TEST

BURLESQUE

Celebrating female fandom through the art of the striptease, in association with GeekGirlCon. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 2339873. brownpapertickets.com. $15-$30. Fri Oct 18 at 8 and 11 pm.

BROKE-OLOGY

Two brothers from a poor neighborhood in Kansas City—one with a graduate degree, one with a fast-food job and a child on the way—try to figure out what their responsibilities are to each other and to the dying father. Directed by Valerie CurtisNewton, produced in association with the Hansberry Project. Seattle Public Theater, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 524-1300. seattlepublictheater.org. $10$22. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Oct 20.

CARRIE: THE MUSICAL See review, page 34. Moore Theatre , 1932 Second Ave, 329-1050. balagantheatre.org. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Oct 26.

THE DAUGHTER OF THE REGIMENT

A sprightly comedy by Gaetano Donizetti about a girl found on a battlefield as an infant and raised by a regiment of 1,500 soldiers. She is later claimed by an aristocratic family, which opens up all kinds of questions about the gap between the military and “polite” society. This opera is also known for its glass-shattering arias. Seattle Opera at McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St, 389-7676. seattleopera.org. $15-$177. Wed at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Nov 2. REWIRED

An immersive theater project about mental health and “life on the periphery.” The Phoenix and The Frog at Teatro de la Psychomachia , 1534 First Ave S. thephoenixandthefrog. com. $18. Fri at 8 pm. Through Oct 18.

SANDBOX RADIO LIVE!

Sundarasen’s new novel, The Mountain of Light, tells the story of one exceptional, 105-carat diamond. (The diamond did exist in real life, and was basically stolen from India by the British empire in the 1800s, which makes it an object that’s pretty thick with symbolism.) Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE, 366-3333. thirdplacebooks.com. Free. 7 pm.

CLIFF MASS Mass discusses Pacific Northwest weather in a talk titled “Reading the Northwest Sky: Understanding Our Weather and Climate.” Kane Hall, Room 130 UW Campus, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

JUNOT DÍAZ

KIM GHATTAS

Roy Dowell : Painting, sculpture, collage, all patterned with glyphic flatness. Am I Not a Man and a Brother? Am I Not a Woman and a Sister?: A small show of photo work by African artists who turn the camera on themselves, using costumes, props, and projections to express ideas of cultural and personal identity. Free. Reception Thurs Oct 17, 6-8 pm. Wed-Sat. Through Nov 27. 604 Second Ave, 903-6220.

Ghattas is the author of a book titled The Secretary: A Journey with Hilary Clinton from Beirut to the Heart of American Power This would be an important book even if Clinton weren’t the de facto leader of the 2016 presidential pack. Seattle Public Library, 1000 Fourth Avenue, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

Oh, man. Díaz is one of the best readers I’ve ever seen. He’s funny, smart, and laid-back in a way that most authors never manage to become. I recommend attending a reading by him anytime you can. Kane Hall, Room 130, UW Campus, 6343400. $5. 7 pm.

A quarterly live show, recorded for podcast, with short plays, fake commercials, and music by the Sandbox Radio Collective (Leslie Law, Scot Augustson, and many others). This show’s theme is “Howl.” West of Lenin, 203 N 36th St. westoflenin.com. $15. Mon Oct 21 at 8 pm. SUGAR DADDIES See review, page 33. ACT Theatre, 700 E Union St, 2927676. acttheatre.org. $15-$41. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through Nov 3.

THE TAMING

readings@thestranger.com

KATE ALKARNI GALLERY

Thurs 10/17

THEATER

Love at Home : Artists from around the world explore the idea of home. Including Seattle’s Kathy Liao and Laura Hamje. Free. Beer and lederhosen reception Thurs Oct 17, 6-9 pm. Thurs Oct 17. 5701 Sixth Ave S, 453-0043.

PATRICIA CAMERON

GALLERY

Tatiana Garmendia : Intimate, delicate, and erotic mixed media drawings in two- and three-dimensional forms. Free. Reception Wed Oct 16, 5-8:30 pm. Mon-Fri. Through Dec 20. 234 Dexter Ave N, 343-9647.

PLATFORM GALLERY

Ross Sawyers: Unsettling photos of model interiors that manipulate scale and dimension. Free. Reception Thurs Oct 17, 6-8 pm. Wed-Sat. Through Nov 30. 114 Third Ave S, 323-2808.

THE STABLES

Spectrecle : An installation of experimental artwork from Mimi Allin, Interstitial Theatre, James

KATE LEBO

It’s a “pie social,” with a pie potluck (bring your own pie, eat other peoples’ pies) and then a reading featuring Lebo, Sam Ligon, and poet Elissa Ball. Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. Free. 6 pm.

T/OUR MAGAZINE

T/OUR Magazine is a newish publication featuring fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and visual art from queer and queer-allied artists. This is a launch party for the new, all-digital issue of the magazine, featuring a reading from local authors and a “band or two.” Vermillion, 1508 11th Ave, 709-9797. www.vermillionseattle.com. Free. 7 pm.

EDWIDGE DANTICAT

The Haitian American writer, who has written some truly goddamn beautiful novels, returns with a new book about a young girl who goes missing from a Haitian fishing town. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. www.

Opening and Current Runs

5TH OF JULY

A Lanford Wilson play about a gay, legless Vietnam vet and his lover hosting a group of old friends and family at a rural Missouri farmhouse. West of Lenin , 203 N 36th St, 3521777. brownpapertickets.com. $12-$20. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Oct 26. ANIMAL CRUELTY Another dirty, noir -inflected puppet show from Sgt Rigsby and His Amazing Silhouettes (aka Scot Augustson and company), this one about a “hardboiled” chicken. Printer’s Devil at Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 340-1049. printersdevil.org. $15-$18. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Nov 9. THE BACCHAE

As part of its “Hard Bard” series, Green Stage presents

A liberal activist, a conservative political aide, and the winner of the Miss Georgia pageant are all holed up in a hotel room in this farce inspired by The Taming of the Shrew ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. artswest.org. $34-$45. WedSat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Through Oct 26.

THE WALWORTH FARCE “A gothic

DIVINE, THE FASHION ICON

MAGIC. PHOENIX

It was a compelling existence: Alongside the fame and celebrity acquaintances and dreams coming true, Divine endured decades-long struggles with things such as money shortages, familial shame, and the complicated burdens tied to the eating of dog shit. To tell the story, Jeffrey Schwarz’s documentary I Am Divine, shown recently at the Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival, uses interviews, antiquated photographs, and tracks from Divine’s music career. (If you haven’t heard them yet, the songs mostly just layer scream-talking over assaultive disco beats.) Best of all, a good collection of Divine-centered movie clips recalls John Waters’s strange worlds, enlivened by senseless murders and carnal errands—with mothers shoved into Christmas trees and characters shooting up liquid eyeliner, presumably to get high. It’s great. Divine’s ensembles are shown in passing, but they’re steadily brilliant and accentuated with thoughtful details.

EYELINER GALORE And fearless horizontal stripes.

There’s the slim-fit tomato-orange scoopneck mermaid gown from Pink Flamingos, of course. To promote the right breast shape and natural swing, stylist Van Smith stuffed Divine’s giant bra with lentils. The gold lamé cha-cha mules with Spring-oLator insoles from Female Trouble were directly copied from an obscure movie about a washed-up stripper. And in Mondo Trasho, Divine wears a cropped and shimmery toreador-themed costume, while her matted bouffant wig is an homage to Baltimore’s elaborate mid-century hair rituals—when poofy updos were rigidly encased with layers of hairspray, blotted dry with toilet paper, wrapped at bedtime, then teased back into form every morning. What else. There were jumpsuits dipped in sweat and spangles, gloves embedded with claws, curve-enhancing horizontal stripes, and synthetic leotards to enable a wide range of potential accessories from camel toe to human blood to underarm perspiration shields. Waters and Smith developed Divine’s stunning cosmetic finish, pulling inspiration from Jayne Mansfield and Clarabell the Clown, as well as “the wicked stepmother in Cinderella, the evil queen of Snow White, and the bad witch in The Wizard of Oz,” said Divine in Bernard Jay’s book Not Simply Divine Smith reshaped Divine’s hairline—otherwise “there wasn’t enough room on the human face for the amount of eye makeup [Smith] wanted [Divine] to wear,” said Waters in the film. The resulting forehead is easily the most famous of all, with its piles of glittering eye shadow and sprightly eyebrows expanding the majestic frontier.

FARMS & FRESH DELIVERY

Full Circle

Seattle, WA 430-1939 fullcircle.com

Nash’s Organic Produce

At the Ballard and U-District Farmers Markets nashsorganicproduce.com

New Roots Organics

4544 Leary Way NW Seattle, WA 98107 261-2500 newrootsorganics.com

Old Chaser Farm oldchaserfarm.com

PCC Farmland Trust

Saving local organic farmland forever. pccfarmlandtrust.org

Terra Organics

253-627-1581 terra-organics.com

Willowood Farm of Ebey’s Prairie Coupeville, WA willowoodfarm.wordpress.com

SERVICES

Cascadia Edible Landscapes

117 E Louisa St, #397 Seattle, WA 98102 708-9298 eatyouryard.com

Hidden Hand Tattoo

3516 Fremont Pl N Seattle, WA 98103 632-7313 hiddenhandtattoo.com

Small Changes

Wholesale Distributor of Magazines 382-1980 info@smallchanges.com

RETAIL

A Silk Addiction

Hand-Crafted Scarves & Carpets from the Himalayas ASilkAddiction.com

PCC Natural Markets

9 Neighborhood Locations pccnaturalmarkets.com

Pretty Parlor 119 Summit Ave E Seattle, WA 98102 405-CUTE prettyparlor.com

Retail Therapy

905 E Pike St Seattle, WA 98122 324-4092 ineedretailtherapy.com

Retrofit Home

1103 E Pike St Seattle, WA 98122 568-4663 retrofithome.com

Skagit Valley Food Co-op

202 S First St Mount Vernon, WA 98273 360-336-9777 skagitfoodcoop.com

Sugar Pill

901 E Pine St Seattle, WA 98122 322-7455 sugarpillseattle.com

Whole Foods wholefoods.com

RESTAURANTS, BARS & CAFES

A Muddy Cup

266 NE 45th St Seattle, WA 98105 245-1015

Bait Shop

606 Broadway E Seattle, WA 98102 420-8742 baitshopseattle.com

Bar Del Corso

3057 Beacon Ave S Seattle, WA 98144 395-2069 bardelcorso.com

Bar Ferd’nand 1531 Melrose Ave Seattle, WA 98122 623-5882 ferdinandthebar.com

Bar Sajor

323 Occidental Ave S Seattle, WA 98104 682-1117 barsajor.com

Barnacle 4743 Ballard Ave NW Seattle, WA 98107

706-3379 thebarnaclebar.com

The Boat Street Café

3131 Western Ave Seattle, WA 98121 632-4602 boatstreetkitchen.com

Café Campagne

1600 Post Alley Seattle, WA 98101 728-2233 Find us on Facebook!

Café Juanita

9702 NE 120th Pl Kirkland, WA 98034 425-823-1505 cafejuanita.com

Café Presse

1117 12th Ave Seattle, WA 98122 709-7674 cafepresseseattle.com

Caffe Vita

7 Washington Locations caffevita.com

Canlis

2576 Aurora Ave N Seattle, WA 98109 283-3313 canlis.com

Caravan Crepes

Mobile Food Truck caravanseattle.com

Cicchetti

121 E Boston St Seattle, WA 98102 859-4155 serafinaseattle.com

The Corson Building

5609 Corson Ave S Seattle, WA 98108

762-3330 thecorsonbuilding.com

Dot’s Delicatessen

4262 Fremont Ave Seattle, WA 98103

687-7446 dotsdelicatessen.com

Ethan Stowell Restaurants

Bar Cotto, RIONE XIII, Staple & Fancy, Tavolata, How To Cook A Wolf. Anchovies & Olives ethanstowellrestaurants.com

Full Tilt Ice Cream

4 Seattle Locations fulltilticecream.com

Hummingbird Saloon

5041 Rainier Ave S Seattle, WA 98117 349-1731 Find us on Facebook!

King’s Hardware

5225 Ballard Ave NW Seattle, WA 98107 782-0027 kingsballard.com

Le Caviste

1919 Seventh Ave Seattle, WA 98101 728-2657 lecavisteseattle.com

Le Pichet

1933 First Ave Seattle, WA 98101 256-1499 lepichetseattle.com

Linda’s Tavern

707 E Pine St Seattle, WA 98122 325-1220 lindastavern.com

Local 360

2234 1st Ave Seattle, WA 98121 441-9360 local360.org

The London Plane

322 Occidental Ave S Seattle, WA 98104 thelondonplaneseattle.com

Louisas Cafe Bakery & Bar

2379 Eastlake Ave E Seattle, WA 98102 325-0081 louisascafe.com

marché

86 Pine St Seattle, WA 98101 728-2800 marcheseattle.com

Maria Hines Restaurants mariahinesrestaurants.com

Marjorie

1412 E Union Seattle, WA 98122 441-9842 marjorierestaurant.com

Mighty-O Donuts

2110 N 55th St Seattle, WA 98103 547-5431 mightyo.com

Oddfellows Cafe

1525 Tenth Ave Seattle, WA 98122 325-0807 oddfellowscafe.com

Quinn’s

1001 E Pike St Seattle, WA 98122 325-7711 quinnspubseattle.com

Restaurant Zoe 1318 E Union St. Seattle, WA 98122 256-2060 restaurantzoe.com

Row House Cafe 1170 Republican St Seattle, WA 98109 682-7632 rowhousecafe.com

Serafina 2043 Eastlake Ave E Seattle, WA 98102 323-0807 serafinaseattle.com

Shanik

500 Terry Ave N Seattle, WA 98109 486-6884 shanikrestaurant.com

Sitka & Spruce

1531 Melrose Ave Seattle, WA 98122 324-0662 sitkaandspruce.com

Smith 332 15th Ave E Seattle, WA 98112 709-1900 smithseattle.com

Smokin Pete’s BBQ

1918 NW 65th St Seattle, WA 98117 783-0454 smokinpetesbbq.com

Terra Plata

1501 Melrose Ave Seattle, WA 98122 325-1501 www.terraplata.com

The Tin Table

915 E Pine St, 2nd floor Seattle, WA 98122 320-8458 TheTinTable.com

Tom Douglas Restaurants 448-2001 tomdouglas.com

The Walrus and The Carpenter 4743 Ballard Ave NW Seattle, WA 98107 395-9227 thewalrusbar.com

The Whale Wins

3506 Stone Way N Seattle WA 98103 632-9425 thewhalewins.com

Victrola Coffee Roasters 3 Seattle Locations victrolacoffee.com

Vif Wine and Coffee 4401 Fremont Ave N Seattle, WA 98103 557-7357 vifseattle.com

Zeitgeist Coffee

171 S Jackson St Seattle, WA 98104 583-0497 zeitgeistcoffee.com

CHOW

Picklebacks and Loaves of Bread

Bar Sue and the London Plane Are Like Night and Day

BY BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT

It’s Friday night at Bar Sue, and picklebacks are the going concern: That’s a shot of Old Crow chased with a shot of pickle juice. If anything can make your mouth forget a

bottom-shelf shot of whiskey, straight pickle juice is it. (Which is not to say you’re necessarily going to like it: If you drink a pickleback without knowing what it is, because everyone at the bar is drinking them, you get what you deserve, like me.) It’s crowded and dark at Capitol Hill’s second “Southern bar.” (Witness, on Broadway, opened first by a nose last month; see “Southern Hospitality” at thestranger. com.) The bartender, trussed into an old-fashioned apron with leather straps, seems a little stressed.

A guy who shares the fact that he’s the grandson of the former mayor of Shiner, Texas, doesn’t get much in response—down South, he says, his noble heritage always gets him a free beer.

from Chop Suey. The space functions admirably as a neo-shitkicker-roadhouse; the room is below ground level, so you sort of fall into it, and there’s rough-hewn wood, a wall of antlers, and a questionable painting of a caballero on black velvet. In the big corner booth, you can ring a bell for VIP service: a bucket of Dixie beers, five for $12. On the bar: big jars of pickles, pickled eggs, and pigs’ feet, which people do actually order from time to time.

Bar Sue 1407 14th Ave, 328-0888

The London Plane 322 Occidental Ave S, 624-1374

Bar Sue—named after Sue Kerr Hicks, Esq., a man on the wrong side of the Scopes trial and supposedly the inspiration for the song “A Boy Named Sue”—is where the illfated Lucky 8’s used to be, around the corner

sherry, Scrappy’s bitters, and Clément sugarcane syrup, $10—tasted as proud, pushy, and crazy underneath as the only member of the DAR I have the dubious honor of knowing.

Bar Sue’s food is good: They make those pickles in-house, and the chicken sandwich ($11) piled with them is already a hit. Even better: a fat piece of spicy blackened catfish, the flesh still soft, on a brioche bun with dill aioli slaw ($11). A marinated blackeyed-pea salad with radishes ($8), called “ButterTEXAS CAVIAR” on the menu, tasted like a church picnic in a really good way. The large-gauge hush puppies ($5) mean a reduction in the crispy-exterior-to-interior ratio, and the fried okra ($5) is of the heavy-on-thecornmeal-crust style—not the way I like them, but better than a pickleback by a long shot.

The London Plane is light, airy, and simply but beautifully designed, a place for an architect to have the ideal glass of afternoon wine. Huge windows showcase the place’s namesake trees, all along Pioneer Square’s cobblestone Occidental Park; a London plane is a kind of sycamore, and they’re waving their branches gently in the October sun, leaves just starting to change. At the bar on this Sunday: a man with appropriately geometrical glasses looking through the Nordic Bakery Cookbook with his companion, both wearing appropriately geometrical dark clothes. They’ve gathered the cookbook, a tiny matte-black vase, and two bottles of wine from the shelves along one wall, from which they could also acquire the world’s best pruning shears, red linen baskets from Japan, spoons made of exquisite variegated wood, sea salt harvested in Oregon, those spiky things for submersion in flower arrangements, and more. A handwritten sign advises of the availability of native plants from Oxbow Farm. Among the books, one facing forward commands ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE

It smells lovely in the London Plane, faintly herbal, a little like fresh-cut wood. Sprays of grain supplant flower arrangements along the bar. The room’s huge old beams are painted white; long tables provide two dozen seats. The place is a collaboration between Katherine Anderson, of adorable shop (and organic farm) Marigold and Mint, and Matt Dillon, of the much-lauded Sitka & Spruce, the Corson Building, and Bar Sajor just across the way. The food here at lunchtime is Sajor-style local/seasonal/ exceptionally tasty salads and spreads—right now including emmer, treviso, chanterelles, and hazelnuts; charred eggplant mashed with smoked chili; olive-oil-braised carrots, fennel, and leeks with aioli ($6 to $11). It’s almost but not quite vegetarian, with a meat slicer for “paper-thin ham” ($11) and assorted salami ($12), plus other snacks served until close at 9 p.m.

NOW OPEN

New Places for Stuffing Faces

BY BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT

• LE PETIT COCHON • Fremont: From Derek Ronspies (who previously cooked with his brother, Dustin Ronspies, at Dustin’s acclaimed Art of the Table), Le Petit Cochon (French for “the little pig”) is in the small space upstairs from Chiso in Fremont, where Showa (and before that, Chiso Kappo) used to be. His initial description: “a little Nose to Tail and a little Farm to Table,” with “Duck Phat, Foie Gras, Pig Tails, Beef Tendon, Bones, Feet, Meat, Fish, Crispy Skin, Deliciousness.” (701 N 36th St, Suite 200, 829-8943, gettinpiggy.com, $$–$$$)

• BARNACLE • Ballard: Renee Erickson’s brand-new, teeny-tiny bar is attached to her renowned restaurant the Walrus and the Carpenter (making it the best-named place ever). It’s got a short menu of greatlooking snacks plus wine, beer, and “old world cocktails.” While it’s maybe meant to be a spot to wait for a table next door— the Walrus doesn’t take reservations—it’s going to be just as hard to get a seat here. (4743 Ballard Ave NW, 706-3379, thebarnaclebar.com, $$)

• mkt. • Green Lake: Ethan Stowell’s Tangletown restaurant is his smallest one, with 28 seats and a streamlined look, including a roll-up garage door for nice weather and the currently-required-by-upscale-restaurant-law wood-fired grill. Joe Ritchie, who’s worked at other Stowellian places and with Jerry Traunfeld at the Herbfarm and Poppy, is the chef. Ritchie’s joined by the up-and-coming

mkt. is pronounced, absurdly, “market.”

greatness that is Monica Dimas (Anchovies & Olives, Monsoon, Spinasse, Le Pichet, Campagne). The name, absurdly, is supposed to be pronounced “market,” with the “m” and the “k” and the “t” standing for “Meridian, the traditional name for the neighborhood; the historic Keystone Building it’s housed in; and Tangletown, as the area is now known,” according to press materials. Okey-doke! (2108 N 55th St, 812-1580, ethanstowellrestaurants.com/mkt, $$–$$$)

• MARTINO’S SMOKED MEATS & EATERY

The Bar Named Sue felt like a bro-down on a Friday night, but then a lot of the neighborhood’s bars turn warrior on the weekends (including Thursday). A Sunday evening was calmer, and that same bartender was funny and smart, sharing his recipe for the homemade vermouth he was making and discussing the etymology of the word. He’s barrel-aging liquor, too, and the cocktail menu includes infusions, house-made tonic water, and oversize ice cubes. A Daughters of the Revolution—Dickel rye, Dry Sack

You should not go anywhere near the London Plane without getting some of its excellent sourdough bread. It’s baked daily at the Corson without fear of blackening some of the crust, giving the outside a superlative chewy heft and leaving the inside bubbly, light, and as sweet as it is sour. It’s $3.50 a serving with olive oil, or $7 for a hefty twopound loaf—I know, seven dollars for a loaf of bread, but it is so very good. Later this year, the second installment of the London Plane will open a few steps down Occidental Park, with a bigger bakery and, presumably, even more gastronomic and aesthetic pleasure.

Comment on these reviews at THESTRANGER.COM/CHOW

• Phinney Ridge: At this old-school-looking, itty-bitty deli in Phinney Ridge, Chris Martino (co-owner of the Nickerson Street Saloon) smokes meat and makes sandwiches for you to eat. There’s also beer and wine, and a dozen or so seats, and it all used to be the Chocolate ShoeBox, “Seattle’s first and only [and probably last] all-vegan shoe and chocolate boutique.” (7410 Greenwood Ave N, 397-4689, martinosseattle.com, $$)

• MAISON TAVERN • Sodo: Attached to Sodo club Aston Manor—and serving as its VIP area when it’s open—Maison Tavern has an all-too-familiar upscale “speakeasy” look (and Aston Manor is named after a made-up bootlegger, so there’s that). The menu is by Bryan Ogden, who’s worked with a bunch of

SEAHAWK

famous chefs including his dad, Bradley Ogden (of the restaurant at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas), and who doubtless got a fat consulting fee. (2946 First Ave S, 382-7866, maisontavern.com)

• QUADRATO • West Seattle: Quadrato is a West Seattle pizzeria and sandwich shop from the owner of another West Seattle pizzeria called Pizzeria 22 (4304 SW Oregon St, 708-6428, quadrato.co, $)

• E. SMITH MERCANTILE • Pioneer Square: “Like the Moonshine in Papa Smith’s bathtub, we are Handmade, Small Batch, and All American,” says E. Smith’s website (their capitalization). The front of the Pioneer Square store sells handmade jeans, wooden spoons, antler key chains, and so forth, and the back contains a “meeting place” with “fine drinks and small bites.” (208 First Ave S, 641-7250, www. esmithmercantile.com, $$)

• TRIUMPH BAR • Lower Queen Anne: From sommelier brothers Jim and Brandon Marsh, it’s a very slick-looking bar with a big wine list—25 glass pours, 300 bottles, lots of it Italian—that they would prefer you not call a wine bar. Also: a menu of pressed sandwiches, “countless” small plates, cheeses, and Italian meats. (114 Republican St, 420-1791, triumphbar.com, $$)

• BURIYAKI JAPANESE BURGER • downtown: Inside the Marion Court Food Court, Buriyaki makes a variety of Japanese-ish burgers, including the Katsubu with pork

loin and slaw, the Samurai with chicken and grilled pineapple, and the Mt. Fuji with tofu and jalapeños. (823 Third Ave, 467-1477, $)

• OLAF’S • Ballard: It’s a neighborhood hangout with a cute logo of a Viking hoisting a stein, where Copper Gate used to be. (6301 24th Ave NW, 297-6122, $)

• STORYVILLE COFFEE • Pike Place Market: Please be reminded: This posh new cafe where Chez Shea used to be is owned by people who have serious ties to the cultish, creepy, super-conservative Mars Hill Church (see “Coffee and Mars Hill: The Story Behind Storyville” at thestranger. com). They have two more planned, on Queen Anne and downtown. Do you want to spend your money here? (94 Pike St #34, 780-5777, storyville.com, $)

NOW WITH FULL BAR: LOUISA’S CAFE & BAKERY • Eastlake: The neighborhood standby is now open late for drinks. Yay!

RENAMED: BAD ALBERT’S • Ballard: Bad Albert’s was Tailgaters for a while, but now it’s back to being Bad Albert’s. Good!

NEW LOCATIONS OF EXISTING PLACES:

CUPCAKE ROYALE • Upper Queen Anne: Now there are sweet treats at Queen Anne Avenue and Crockett! • VEGGIE GRILL • downtown: The third Seattle location of the vegan chain is at Fourth and Pike.

More, more, MORE at THESTRANGER.COM/CHOW

CHOW EVENTS

Wed 10/16

FRENCH

CONVERSATION TABLE

Zut alors! Café Presse vous invitons à parler la meilleure langue du monde tous les deux mercredis à Café Presse à la Table Française. Seattle Language Academy vous donnera un formateur pour chaque cours, et les étudiants de français de tous les niveaux sont invités à nous joindre. Songez à tous les beaux gens que vous y rencontrerez! Chouette! Et: C’est gratuit. Cafe Presse , 1117 12th Ave, 709-7674. cafepresseseattle.com. 4-6 pm.

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAYS

Have a mustache on your face (real, fake, or drawn, just “No Hitler mustaches”) and get $1 off everything at the Canterbury on Wednesdays (before it closes down sometime later this year, SIGH). Canterbury Ale and Eats, 534 15th Ave E, 322-3130.

COOKING WITH JIM DROHMAN

Join chef Jim Drohman (Le Pichet, Cafe Presse) for a class on French kitchen basics (which means learning how to make his excellent roasted chicken! And chocolate mousse! And more!). Jim Drohman is great, and we should all be lucky enough to learn to cook a thing from him, plus dinner and wine are included. Chouette! The Kitchen at Mallet, 2700 Fourth Ave S Suite C. jimdrohman.com. $125. 6:309:30 pm; also Sun Oct 20, 1-4 pm, and Wed Oct 23, 6:30-9:30 pm.

Thurs 10/17

ON THE MOVE LUNCHEON

Support the National Multiple Sclerosis Society and hear

stories from affected families firsthand. The NMSS educates, empowers, and funds research toward new treatments and a cure. You can also donate directly online. The Westin Seattle, 1900 Fifth Ave, 284-4254. luncheon.MSnorthwest.org. Minimum donation of $150. Thurs Oct 17 at 11:30 am-1 pm.

A CONVERSATION ABOUT I-522

Chef Jim Drohman feels so strongly about the labeling of genetically modified foods, he’s going to feed you snacks at his lovely Cafe Presse while you get educated about it. “Yes on 522 will certainly be outspent by Big Ag, so all we have is organizing,” he says. Come learn what the hell GMOs are, what foods they’re in, why labeling them is important, and what you can do to help. Come! (And call 709-7674 to RSVP so he knows how many to expect.) Cafe Presse , 1117 12th Ave, 709-7674. cafepresseseattle.com. $5.22 suggested donation. 5:30-6:30 pm.

3 HOWLS LAUNCH PARTY

Local distillery 3 Howls throws a full-moon launch party with $8 drink specials “showcasing the label’s fearless creativity.” The Upstairs , 2209 Second Ave, 747-8400. 3howls. com. 6:30 pm.

SLOW FOOD BOOK CLUB

It’s “a book club for anyone interested in discussing books that help us think about good, clean, and fair food issues.” Tonight: The Good Food Revolution by MacArthur Genius Award–winner Will Allen. Zoka Coffee , 2901 NE Blakeley St. slowfoodseattle.org. 6:30-8:30 pm.

SAKE BREWERS DINNER Miyabi 45th—a “Japanese gastropub” that makes very good stuff, including its own soba—hosts a six-course dinner with three sake brewers from Japan who’ll introduce their pairings and drop sake knowledge. Miyabi 45th, 2208 N 45th St, 632-4545. miyabi45th.com. $65 (includes food and sake). 7 pm.

Fri 10/18

ARCADE LIGHTS In the Market’s North Arcade, more than 60 local artisans—including Mt. Townsend Creamery, Ellenos Real Greek Yogurt, Sweet Iron Waffles, Finnriver cider, and Patterson Cellars—create a banquet of beer, wine, and snacks, benefiting the Market Foundation. Admission includes 10 food/drink tokens and a glass. If you like things like this, you will like this thing. Pike Place Market, 1501 Pike Pl. pikeplacemarket. org. $28 adv, $35 DOS. 7-10 pm.

Sat 10/19

TAMALE-MAKING CLASS

Embrace the pork lard and learn the secrets: You’ll take home a dozen tamales of your own making at the end, plus the ability to make tamales for the rest of your natural life. Class fees support Centro de la Raza’s Senior Wellness Program. El Centro de la Raza, 2524 16th Ave S, 957-4611. www.elcentrodelaraza.com. $75. 10 am-12:30 pm; also Sat Nov 16, 10 am-12:30 pm, and Sat Dec 14, 10 am-12:30 pm.

SEATTLE AGAINST SLAVERY FALL WINE TASTING Love wine but hate human trafficking? This is the event for you—an afternoon of wines from local Fletcher Bay Winery, plus cheeses selected by the Kitchen Sink Project, with all proceeds going to help fight human trafficking in the Seattle area. Fremont Abbey , 4272 Fremont Ave N, 414-8325. seattleagainstslavery.org. $20. 1-3 pm.

Sat–Sun 10/19–20

COOKING CLASS WITH BRUCE NAFTALY

Learn how to make great foods with all-time-great chef Bruce Naftaly (of the late, great Le Gourmand, who is also really nice), with eating and drinking included. Chef shouts, via e-mail: “FIVE COURSES! HOW TO DO IT! AND WINE WINE WINE!” Pacific Crest School, 620 NW Bright St, 784-3463. legourmandrestaurant. com. $75. Sat 2:30 pm; Sun 6:30 pm.

BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS

Bottomless anything is good, especially if it involves champagne. Just order brunch at Ma’ono or Agrodolce, and your mimosa ($12 and $14, respectively) will have no bottom. Various locations

Mon 10/21

PELLEGRINI

DINING SOCIETY

On the third Monday of each month, there’s wine, conversation, and a sixcourse dinner inspired by the writings of Angelo Pellegrini at Cafe Lago. Organizer Jon Rowley is a local food hero, ditto

Capoeira

2

Tues 10/22 SINGLE-MALT

dinners celebrating Volunteer Park Cafe’s garden and the bounty of the season.” Volunteer Park Cafe , 1501 17th Ave E, 328-3155. alwaysfreshgoodness.com. $45. 6 pm.

Ongoing

SEATTLE RESTAURANT

“local Scotch enthusiast” Alan Wolfson. Starred for other local Scotch enthusiasts. The Barrel Thief , 3417 Evanston Ave N #102, 402-5492. bthief.com. $5-$10.

CHEF + GARDENER DINNER SERIES In which chef Ericka Burke and cookbook author Amy Pennington team up “to host a series of intimate

WEEK It’s a two-week “week” that comes twice a year: Sunday through Thursday, 150-plus restaurants offer set-menu, three-course dinners for $28 (and some $15 lunches). How much do you save? Depends, but generally, it’s like getting dessert free (and not getting to choose from the whole menu). If you go, tip well—these things are hell for servers. Various locations . seattletimes.com/ seattlerestaurantweek. Ends Oct 24.

MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT. SEND EVENT INFO TO: chow@thestranger.com

Find the full calendar online.

MYTHOLOGICAL BEER AT ASGARD TAVERN

Dan Lee Co-owner, Asgard Tavern 1300 N Northlake Way, 402-4704

There wasn’t as much sacking and pillaging going on at Fremont’s Viking-themed Asgard Tavern as their website suggests (perhaps I went too early in the day?), but there was plenty of tasty beer from Odin Brewing Company. Which beer is most like what Vikings actually drank? Owner Dan Lee said many of the Viking recipes haven’t survived for a reason, though some of their beers were filtered through juniper branches, and his own Odin’s Gift is brewed with giant mesh bags of juniper. Lee previously did marketing for Miller, and then for Sonicare. “A lot of people are passionate about oral health care,” he said, “I’m just not one of them.” Lee’s love of beer and Norse mythology, in combination with his ambivalence about toothbrushes, inspired him to start Odin and Asgard. Odin donated its first keg to the Nordic Heritage Museum, and they’re now annual sponsors of Viking Days. I tried the hoppy but not-too-bitter Sigrun IPA and the potent Belgianstyle Thor’s Equinox, which Lee says goes well with chocolate cake. You can also sample a stout aged in oak whiskey barrels from Oola Distillery. Odin’s slogan is “Great Beer Designed with Great Food in Mind,” and while the tavern oddly doesn’t serve food, they do pairing events that might recall Viking banquet halls, though hopefully not Viking mushroom-induced berserker rages. (Up next: a pop-up dinner with Mr. Fox—aka Joel Jester, formerly of Revel—on October 22.) SARAH GALVIN

MUSIC

Crimson and Cleaver

Horror-Film Soundtrack Legends Goblin Finally Haunt America

BY DAVE SEGAL

It’s scary how fantastic Goblin sound at their best. When it comes to scoring a horror movie or a giallo (lurid crime and mystery thrillers that peaked in Italy during the early ’70s),

these Italian musicians are the Maserati of film composers. Goblin will be forever revered for the three soundtracks they cut with director Dario Argento: Profondo Rosso (aka Deep Red, 1975), Suspiria (1977), and Tenebre (1982). They also won (g)rave reviews for their work with George A. Romero on his 1978 opus Dawn of the Dead (aka Zombi).

Goblin w/Secret Chiefs 3 Fri Oct 18, Neumos, 8 pm, $25 adv/$75 VIP, 21+

Goblin are the rare group who made the transition from progressive rockers to soundtrack auteurs; they also developed into dandy disco producers, something most prog musicians never attempted, let alone mastered. Their closest rivals are probably Pink Floyd, whose Obscured by Clouds, More, and contributions to Zabriskie Point rank among their best efforts. But more so than most rock bands, Goblin have become inextricably linked with their extraordinary film music, which viscerally captures feelings of dread, terror, and repulsion without resorting to moldy Hollywood mannerisms. It’s a tribute to Goblin’s creativity that these records easily endure when divorced from the garish imagery they’re augmenting.

A direct line of influence can be drawn to Goblin from the recent wave of morbid, chilling electronic music coming from the likes of Demdike Stare, Vatican Shadow, Raime, the Haxan Cloak, and others. (Which isn’t to say Goblin don’t have their light moments: Check “Torte in Faccia” and “School at Night [Lullaby].”) Right from their first full-length, Profondo Rosso, Goblin established a distinctively expressive approach to cinematic

sonics. “Death Dies” is a paranoia-inducing pulse-pounder that could also work in a chase scene from a James Bond flick. “Mad Puppet” creates nearly unbearable tension with intensely bleeping synthesizers and kettle-drum hits until it momentously shifts into a stealthy, hypnotic motif that conjures the accompaniment to a sinister striptease. “Deep Shadows” might be the greatest example of Goblin’s febrile progrock chops used in the service of generating a complicated delirium. But the most harrowing Goblin track of all may be “Sighs” from Suspiria. It begins with sad exhalations, then

Prog-rock and horror-flickmusic nerds are bloody pumped, to say the least.

shifts into a chaotic miasma of anguished voices and manically repeated harpsichord strums, sending the fright factor into deep red. Effective!

Unbelievably, despite their global renown and longevity as a rotating-lineup unit, Goblin have never played in North America. The impetus to bring them to this continent is the Housecore Horror Film Festival in Austin, Texas, where they’ll perform Suspiria in its entirety on October 27. The Windish Agency then suggested Goblin build a tour around this date, and here we are. Prog-rock and horror-flick-music nerds are bloody

pumped, to say the least.

On the phone, in heavily accented English, Goblin keyboardists Maurizio Guarini and Claudio Simonetti, now well into their 50s, discuss finally playing in the States. (Simonetti did journey here with his other band, Daemonia.) These guys have done and seen a lot, so one doesn’t expect bubbly glee from them. And neither musician is shocked by the fervent demand for a live presentation of Goblin’s material more than 30 years after their prime. “At this point, I am not surprised,” Guarini says, “because I think we have a unique sound and I understand that we’re being taken as an inspiration for other bands.” Simonetti concurs, saying, “To meet young people who know our music very well is an extraordinary thing. After 30 or 40 years, they know and follow us… I’m sure it will be a very incredible experience.”

The show will essentially be a career retrospective, Guarini explains, with emphasis on Goblin’s 1976 non-soundtrack album, Roller Expect to hear songs from Suspiria, Dawn of the Dead, Profondo Rosso, and Tenebre, too. It’s always nice when artists realize what their best work is.

What most Goblin fans want to know is, how did they interact with Argento when composing soundtracks for his artfully gory cinema? Guarini and Simonetti are a bit hazy on the details, only volunteering general impressions. “[Argento] would request moods and atmospheres, especially for Suspiria,” Guarini says. “He asked us to prepare the main theme even before watching the movie. It was the opposite method of what we usually did. He made suggestions and listened to what we were about to create. Dario was very much involved in the process. Every director, they feel like the film is their

WHAT'S CRAPPENING?

• Last week, we were sad to report on the Comet Tavern’s unexpected shuttering on October 2; according to the Comet’s booker, Michelle Smith, and Capitol Hill Seattle, the venue’s owner of six years, Brian Balodis, is facing serious financial trouble. Smith then posted a Facebook update alleging that “The Comet owner secretly removed the sound system and other items of value from the venue.” The venue’s future remains uncertain, though local musician Ian Hill has put in an offer to purchase the graffiti’d punk palace. Hill says, “I want to retain what the Comet means to so many people as a music venue, local staple of Capitol Hill, and a Seattle icon.”

• MVP—that’s Michael Jackson Versus Prince—played the Hard Rock Cafe on Saturday, with bassman Dan Roach holding it down with style (including the sartorial flair of a four-pointed pocket square). Singer Arzelia Jones Jr. has some serious pipes; she did right by the Jackson covers, possibly making him the winner. But then everyone won at MVP, on the dance floor and at the bar, where watermelonflavored Bacardi is a thing.

• Marky Ramone’s Blitzkrieg featuring Andrew W.K. on vocals destroyed Neumos on Thursday, playing more than 30 of the Ramones’ greatest hits. The fast/ loud renditions of the punk standards, the packed crowd of leather punk jackets and/or white jeans, plus W.K.’s boundless energy made for a climate of constant crowd surfing, fist pumping, and full-body bruises.

• The first annual Hypnotikon: Seattle Psych Fest happened last Friday and Saturday at the Triple Door, and it was quite the audio-visual banquet. Enhanced by the retina-tickling projections of Christian Petersen and Aubrey Nehring, four national acts—including Silver Apples’ 75-year-old oscillator-operating genius Simeon—and eight local groups and five DJs turned the swank Triple Door into a 21st-century approximation of London’s UFO Club Attendance could’ve been better (couldn’t it always?), but things went well enough for the organizers to start thinking about next year’s event.

• New Orleans’s own Quintron and Miss Pussycat played the Tractor Tavern on Friday night. During Miss Pussycat’s freaky excellent puppet show—in which a bear with Day-Glo eyes baked a burned, talking cake frosted with hair—a non-sober audience member mumbled, “I’d feel more comfortable delivering a baby right now.”

• On Saturday night, a saxophone-wielding, shiny-silver-suit-wearing 74-year old Nik Turner played original Hawkwind songs much to the delight of a room full of headbanging metalheads at Chop Suey. After the last song, Turner asked the crowd if anyone could help them with a place to crash. Dozens excitedly offered up their homes to the rockin’ septuagenarian.

creature, so the music is very important for them.”

Simonetti adds, “In the beginning, when he asked us to write the music for Profondo Rosso, we spent many nights with him in his house, listening to many records, to get an idea what he wanted. He would point out what sounds he wanted us to create for him. Then we’d go to the studio and follow his instructions, more or less. Of course, we create ourselves, but most of the ideas Dario told us how to do in real life.”

Guarini claims that Goblin were not influenced by other film composers, though he admits to being a die-hard prog and fusion fan—especially of Gentle Giant, Genesis, and Weather Report. However, one can hear similarities to the eerie tintinnabulation of Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells, which William Friedkin used in The Exorcist, to Goblin’s “Suspiria” theme. “Oh, yeah,” Guarini says, “that might have inspired treating that kind of horror in a different way that wasn’t the usual dissonant, high-stringed note that was the standard in the ’60s.”

Given how demented and vertiginous some of Goblin’s music is, one might think they had a fondness for strong hallucinogens. But Guarini denies this. “Actually, we are a very non-drug band. Being progressive rock, this kind of music needs a very clear mind. You cannot do this kind of thing on drugs. You can be psychedelic without taking drugs. It’s just a matter of your way of thinking. Espe-

One might think they had a fondness for strong hallucinogens.

cially with Suspiria, for example, the movie itself is psychedelic together with the music.”

Legendary horror director/composer John Carpenter is a big fan of Goblin, particularly of Suspiria. Quoted in the liner notes for Goblin’s six-disc boxed set The Awakening, Carpenter praised the soundtrack for “its absolute simplicity, its effectiveness. It’s just stunning, using that simple melody line over and over again to create that much tension. If it had been more complicated, if it had been the John Williams ‘Mickey Mouse’ kind of score that you hear all the time today, the movie wouldn’t have been half as scary.”

Another rabid Goblin aficionado is Alfonso Carrillo, a Los Angeles–based DJ/blogger who heads the monthly night at Hyperion Tavern called RENDEZVOUS!, which focuses on obscure European film and library music from the ’70s and ’80s. Carrillo cites Suspiria as a peak in Goblin’s canon: “The prominence of the music, combined with the colorful brilliance of Argento’s carefully composed scenes, is almost as if the music itself is part of, and as vital as, the dialogue, conveying a sense of suspenseful tension.”

Ultimately, Carrillo says that Goblin’s collaborations with Argento “can be held in the same regard as Fellini and Rota, or Leone and Morricone.”

Simonetti, the de factor leader of Goblin, says he doesn’t have any overarching philosophy or ironclad axioms for scoring music for films. “I just start working on the music when I see the film and when I speak with the director. Every film inspired me and us differently. Normally, I don’t like to repeat what I did before. Every film has its own life and its own way to compose. You change your mood in your life; of course, I’m not the same as I was 20 or 30 years ago. Every time is a new experience, so I don’t have any cliché for that, you know?”

Thursday, Oct 17th - Saturday, Oct 19th

BENGT WASHBURN

In 1998 Bengt lost a job, got a divorce, started drinking coffee and decided to pursue stand-up comedy full time. Later that year he was a finalist in the Seattle International Comedy Competition. By 2001 he won the prestigious San Francisco Comedy Competition.

Bengt has been called “an intellectual with an imp’s perspective”. He is known as an intelligent and prolific comic. The ever evolving topics of his show are often autobiographical and mostly true.

WED/OCTOBER 16 • 7PM & 9:30PM EARSHOT JAZZ FESTIVAL & 91.3 KBCS WELCOMES mehliana featuring brad mehldau and mark guiliana

HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, TAP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, TAP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, TAP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, TAP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, TAP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, TAP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COASTSWINGBACHATAWALTZTAPLINDYHOP

THU/OCTOBER 17 • 5:30PM NO COVER!! thursday night football seattle v. arizona

KBCS 91.3 WELCOMES savoy brown

THU/OCTOBER 24 - OCTOBER 31 SHOW TIMES VARY THE CAN CAN PRESENTS this is halloween! FRI/NOVEMBER 1 - 3 • 7PM & 9:30PM the manhattan transfer

THURSDAY, OCT 31

THURSDAY OCTOBER 17TH MELT-BANANA KINSKI // MONOGAMY PARTY

FRIDAY OCTOBER 18TH

HUNX & HIS PUNX WIMPS // COCONUT COOLOUTS

SUNDAY OCTOBER 20TH

DEBACLE RECORDS PRESENTS DUSTIN WONG & TAKAKO MINEKAWA

SECRET COLORS // WILL DO (PILL WONDER+PUNISHMENT) // DJ RETINA BURN

MONDAY OCTOBER 21ST

Thursday Nov 14th TURQUOISE JEEP

MIKE THRASHER PRESENTS LIMOUSINES MONA // DRESSES

TUESDAY OCTOBER 22ND

NO SLEEP SEATTLE PRESENTS GRAVE BABIES VICE DEVICE // MALE/FEMALE // SO PITTED

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 23RD

WIDOWSPEAK

PURE BATHING CULTURE // CASE STUDIES

10/16

12/3 CHURCH OF MISERY, SAVIOURS, WIZARD RIFLE

12/05 LISSIE 12/10 JAKE MILLER 12/13 & 12/14 PICKWICK 12/19 SALLIE FORD & THE SOUND OUTSIDE 12/26 WAX 1/17 WOODEN SHJIPS

Wayward Love Songs

Byron Au Yong’s Homage to the Orphans and Women of Good Shepherd

BY JEN GRAVES

If you lived at the Good Shepherd Center at 4649 Sunnyside Avenue North between 1907 and 1973, you were either a “fallen woman,” a “troubled teen,” or a child nobody wanted.

The building for this sorry purpose is a brick and stone beauty, adorned with blooming Corinthian capitals. It is in Wallingford, tucked into some trees. The architect was Conrad Alfred Breitung, a German immigrant born near Munich and arriving in Seattle in the first year of the 20th century. He was commissioned for the task by the order of the Good Shepherd, which had first set up shop on First Hill in 1890—five nuns arrived in Seattle for the purpose by train—and by 1907 needed a proper building for its pious cause. “Poor children!” Mary Euphrasia Pelletier, the order’s founder, is said to have exclaimed. “Beaten about in the great tempest of the world, they have known nothing but suffering; they have never experienced the sweetness and charms of virtue.”

a James Joyce poem the Frye Art Museum introduced him to through a group exhibition based on Joyce’s poems earlier this year.

“They’re from before James Joyce started to fragment language,” Au Yong says. “So I fragmented it for him.”

Welladay! Welladay!: Wayward Love Songs Sat Oct 19, Chapel Performance Space, 8 pm, $5–$15 donation, all ages

A week before the performance, Au Yong was still writing and editing the score for vocalist and piano trio. In the music, you might hear echoes of the old laundry—blankets being folded, stones being rubbed on water. And love letters being crumpled. Au Yong is personally “in a difficult place with love,” he says. And on the flip side, “As an artist, he has a lot of love to share,” says Tiffany Lin, the pianist, who has worked with Au Yong before. He tends to inspire loyalty for his thoughtful approach integrating classicism with improvisation, spiritual and emotional exploration with preparedness and rigor. “He explores a lot of different levels of meaning,” says violinist Tari Nelson-Zagar.

Residents at Good Shepherd, Jonathan Shipley wrote in 2009 on the blog Vintage Seattle, “rarely left the grounds, could not excuse themselves from the nuns sharing with them those experiences of sweet virtue. Bars were in the windows.”

Eventually, the orphanage system became the foster-care system, “loose women” became Pill-takers or dog-tired single moms, and the laundry business funding the center—where all the girls and women had to work—shut down in 1970. The whole center closed in 1973, and in 1975, the building was turned into a community center. Today, the Good Shepherd Center houses nonprofit organizations and schools (Meridian School and Seattle Tilth, for example), offices for things like physical therapists, massage therapists, recovery centers, and parent-support workers, and six units of affordable housing for artists.

But the reason most people go there is to hear music in the Chapel.

Acoustically, it’s a dream. Wood and high ceilings and resonance for days. It’s also home to the adventurous/“experimental” music organization Nonsequitur, curated by artist Steve Peters, who several months ago invited Seattle composer Byron Au Yong to put on an event for the first time with Nonsequitur’s annual Wayward Music Series. Au Yong’s response, happening one-night-only on Saturday, is a direct homage to the orphans and the “wayward” women and girls, to “this place all about love, or the absence of love.” The concert is called Welladay! Welladay!: Wayward Love Songs

“Welladay!” is an old-fashioned exclamation meaning “Alas!” Au Yong lifted it from

Au Yong’s range as an artist and cultural worker is tremendous. The descendant of immigrants who moved to the United States from the Philippines after having been first chased out of their home country of China, Au Yong remembers his grandfather coming to live with him when he was a teenager. He was studying classical music at the time, and it only annoyed him when his grandfather would pound on the piano. Later, in college, when he studied field recordings from, say, people in Burmese villages who came upon pianos that had been left in bars by occupying forces and played them without knowing “how,” Au Yong came to regret not having had the ears to hear any value in what his grandfather was doing.

His career is impressive and unusual.

American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco gave the world premiere this April of his opera Stuck Elevator, based on the true story of a Chinese-food deliveryman who was trapped in a Bronx elevator for 81 hours in 2005. The San Francisco Chronicle called it “vibrant… compelling, and eye-opening.”

Au Yong has been composing music since he was young, and he is always working. About Welladay! Welladay!, he e-mailed, “Perhaps I’m working on these love songs because my next project has to do with mental health and violence in America. We have a residency with Sundance at MASS MoCA in December to develop TRIGGER, prompted by the Virgina Tech shooting. We hope to premiere at the new Virginia Tech Performing Arts Center in 2017, 10 years after the massacre.”

Of course, he signed the e-mail, “Love, Byron.”

Key Arena

Dec 6

NEVER HEARD OF ’EM

BY ANNA MINARD

Anna Minard claims to “know nothing about music.” For this column, we force her to listen to random records by artists considered to be important by music nerds.

BEAT HAPPENING

Beat Happening (K Records)

Beat Happening came into my life after an online commenter on an earlier column recommended it, after a careful analysis of my previous writing. Said matthwlnd: “I have finally discovered a pattern among most of your positive reviews: sincerity (see: Jonathan Richman/Neutral Milk Hotel). Have you tried Beat Happening yet? Calvin Johnson’s sensitive genius might be right up your alley.”

Right up my alley? Since when do the picks for this column have anything to do with my alley? I was thankful someone out there in internet land was concerned with my sanity and the kind of alleys I like. This posed a problem, though: If I’d listened to this album without reading that note, I would have had a totally different interaction with it. Generally, I get tied up in a giant burlap sack with some noises, a notepad, and no information, and I’m not allowed out until I’ve scrawled some first impressions and paper-airplaned them out to our music staff. I’m usually not hoping for any outcome, just letting some new thing wash over my head.

I can tell immediately that Beat Happening’s, erm, occasional lack of commitment to rhythm and singing in tune might’ve driven me crazy if I weren’t on such a trusting search for sensitive genius and sincerity. Vocalist Calvin Johnson’s low, hoarse drone might have annoyed me. The bubbly guitar and breathless monotone choruses on “I Love You” and “Bad Seeds”? A little much for me.

But like I fuckin’ said, I’m looking for sensitivity! Sincerity! And if that’s what you’re looking for, you can find it. First it’s the brisk walking gait of the guitar line on “What’s Important” that perks my ears. Then “Foggy Eyes.” They’re both songs with a beat; they’re also songs that have the female vocalist, Heather Lewis.

Then the lyrics jump out at me and I get why someone would recommend this.

Johnson sings, “You see, to me, the best part of sex is walking home, holding hands, after swimming in the lake” and “We were wearing our pajamas/ We were eating some bananas.” The last track is about this “crazy powerful in-lovewith-you thing” and how he’s too shy to talk about it. When I decided to do research, I found that these guys are from Olympia and Calvin Johnson started K Records, which I know of because our offices are brimming with piles of CDs. Then I felt like a dope because it seems extra stupid to not have heard of them. But no matter! I listened until I felt like I was friends with everybody, snacking on retro candy and cuddling with a cat, then started planning which tracks should go on which mix CDs for friends.

I give this a “you can tambourine along, try it!” out of 10.

MY PHILOSOPHY

THE TECHNO-INDUSTRIAL GOD COMPLEX

Feezable the Germ plays Nectar on Wednesday, October 16—along with Props! Adam Nystrom, and our own Based Legend Keyboard Kid—no doubt to commemorate the release of Feez’s latest, The Successor of Victor Von Doom. (No references to the Latverian usurper Kristoff Vernard to be found, however.) Mr. 10K—I refuse to call him “Zen Griffey”—that is to say, ya boy Neema, is doing an “unplugged” show at Barboza. Well, a show with a band in addition to his usual DJ Gerze, on Thursday, October 17, with Peta Tosh, John Crown, and rising Portland hustler Cassow, with your host with the most (pale skin in recorded history, according to Guinness), Grynch

And what else is going on this week—oh yes, the one and only (knock on wood) Kanye West comes to KeyArena on Saturday, October 19, for his first solo tour since 2008’s ambitious Glow in the Dark tour, which kicked off right here in Seattle at the Key. I’m anxious (I mean, we’re all anxious in general) to see how he chooses to present the biggest record of the year, Yeezus—a stark, techno-industrial (shouts out to Iron Man) weapon of a rap record. I’d much (so much) rather hear him on wax or onstage than in interviews, which we’re suddenly seemingly inundated with. Worship, if you will, his poorly constructed god complex (“I wanna help the world, I wanna make peoples’ lives easier… I

spent two of my checks in telemarketing when I was 18 years old on my first pair of Gucci slippers”). But before your revisions, remember that even the Big Baby Jesus saw a picture bigger than his own self-portrait. Humorless hubris, hella fetishization of all things European as true gospel—here, here, is your patron saint of the pre-tribulation Rupture. Push the button, start the show, and it’s bound to rock; his opener is none other than Kendrick Lamar

And maybe you saw Kendrick’s appearance in that Pusha T “Nosetalgia” video? There’s nothing better than that bare-bones rap shit—and Pusha’s My Name Is My Name has no shortage of that raw, conceptually and (exclusively) subject-matter-wise.

Executive produced by Kanye, MNIMN often achieves Yeezus-type minimalism (a Pusha trademark since “Grindin’”), even though its production cast is as cluttered as Watch the Throne’s. His boy Pharrell Williams provides one of the tape’s best moments too, his hook and beat bringing back some old Clipse magic on “S.N.I.T.C.H.,” which could’ve easily been a highlight on Hell Hath No Fury

The star, though, is Push, and he doesn’t flinch—he delivers some of the best rapping of a career already spent out-rapping everybody in the room. He hasn’t lost his shit-starting streak, either (maybe you remember his relentless Wayne-subbing back when Wayne was tight)—the itchy “Numbers on the Boards” features some top-notch crown-baiting. Midway through the track, the first couple seconds of Jay-Z’s classic “Rhyme No More” cut in—“Motherfuckers can’t rhyme no more, ’bout crime no more”—and Pusha slyly finishes: “Mix drug and show money, Biggs Burke on tour.”

(Biggs being Jay-Z’s old Roc-A-Fella partner, sentenced last year for drug trafficking.) Pusha says it best—“Gaaawwwd!”

COMING UP: 10/23 KEEP SHELLY IN ATHENS + CHAD VALLEY 10/24 SCRIBES 10/26 KODALINE 10/27 LEAGUES 10/29 TANGERINE 10/30 GOLDROOM 11/1 WHITE LUNG 11/2 RUBBLEBUCKET 11/3 STRANGE TALK 11/6 RAC 11/10 DIEGO GARCIA 11/12 CROCODILES 11/13 JILLETTE JOHNSON 11/15 THOSE DARLINS 11/19 PAPA 11/23 PAWS 11/24 MIKEY DAVIS 11/29 PINK BEAD 12/3 BRENDAN CANNING 12/6 BASIA BULAT + CATE LE BON 12/8 LEE RANALDO AND THE DUST 12/12 WILL HOGE 12/14 KING KRULE

THURSDAY

COMING UP: 11/7 RADIATION CITY 11/8 SWAGFEST 4 CHARITY 11/9 BARSUK 15 11/10 A$AP FERG 11/15 OBITS 11/16 RAVENNA WOODS 11/17 CULTS

11/18 MELLOWHIGH 11/19 BIG FREEDIA 11/20 BILL CALLAHAN 11/22 MONSTER MAGNET 11/27 NIGHTMARES ON WAX 11/29 NADASTROM 11/30 SANDRIDER 12/6 EL TEN ELEVEN 12/13 PERE UBU 12/14 THE MOONDOGGIES + THE MALDIVES 12/20 DEEP SEA DIVER 12/21 ROSE WINDOWS 12/27 & 12/28 BUILT TO SPILL 12/30 & 12/31 STRFKR 1/22 DARKSIDE

TUESDAY

MONDAY 11/4

HUNX AND HIS PUNX: THEIR CROTCH, YOUR FACE

Ever been to an ultra-swanky party just to get the finger food? That quick-hitting luxury meat item on a toothpick, or olives with some sort of cheese you can’t pronounce. That’s Hunx and His Punx—they’re that tray of sexed and sweaty punk you want. The 12 songs on their Hardly Art–released album Street Punk have a total run time of 20 minutes—“Everyone’s a Pussy (Fuck You Dude)” clocks in at 30 seconds, and “Don’t Call Me Fabulous” is even shorter. One or two chews, tops, are all these songs need. Or just swallow them whole! Singer/crotchmodel Seth Bogart is quick smart, screamy, and raunchy with proteins. The Kelly O Stranger Awards Committee previously bestowed him with the Gayest Punk Rocker the World Has Ever Seen title. Together with his Oakland-/LA-based Punx, Shannon Shaw (of Shannon and the Clams) and Erin Emslie, they make beautiful and lewd punk rock music. Fast, funny, insolent, and untamed—just like it should be. Bogart spoke from his home in LA. He was about to go to the beach.

record demos with him one day, and then realized at the end of the day that we’d recorded like half our album. We liked the way it sounded, so we kept it. Shannon and I don’t live in the same town, so we don’t have that much time to do stuff. That’s why the album is short [laughs]. I would go up to Oakland every month because I was a hairdresser there. I don’t do that anymore, which is cool.

What made you all choose to cover the Beastie Boys song “Egg Raid on Mojo”? Well, I love to egg people. I don’t know, Shannon just suggested it. That Beastie Boys record is so punk—I think it’s appropriate because they’re bratty sounding.

Hunx and His Punx w/Wimps, Coconut Coolouts Fri Oct 18, Chop Suey, 9 pm, $10 adv/$12 DOS, 21+

Have you picked out your sleek beachwear for the day? I’ll just go with a Speedo. I like nude beaches, but they don’t have those here.

Do you ever get into the Euro-thong look? You would dominate the Eurothong. Would I?

Absolutely. Look at yourself! Oh yeah. I’m looking at myself right now since you said that.

What do you think about the Russian government’s stance against gays in the Olympics? It’s crazy. And it’s too bad, because Russian guys are like so hot.

Vladimir Putin seems very gay and closeted. I agree.

I love “You Think You’re Tough” off Street Punk. Shannon’s vocals are a combo of Stevie Nicks and Pylon. She sounds good, doesn’t she? It’s weird, when we’re both singing in practice, we sound the same. But she gets more sassy than I ever could at the end. It reminds me of Danzig, the way she sings. I love Pylon, they’re the best. Glenn Danzig lives near me. His house is scary.

Do you ever see Danzig walking around? Don’t ever take pictures of him buying cat food. He’ll kick your ass. He works out. And he has a five-inch wiener. I saw Henry Rollins at the Kathleen Hanna concert. He was cool, but his hair was weird—the back was lumpy. I have this problem when I drink and see a celebrity: I say their name really loud in their face [laughs]. He was waiting at valet, and I was like, “HENRY!!” Then we were at a party, and I saw Moby, and yelled “MOBY!!” in his face. He was weird.

What was it like working with producer Facundo Bermudez on the album? We call him Cundo. He’s recorded so many LA punk bands, so I think he understands it. We actually just went to

Teen angst is a Street Punk theme. I was going to ask what things you did as a teen, but you answered my question. Give us some egging tips. I did, I egged people. I was kind of a weird teen. I went to jail for spraypainting. I would get totally wasted and steal everything. I was bratty. I lived by a college, and we’d sit on the roof and throw water balloons as students rode their bikes by. We egged our neighbor and wore Safeway bags on our heads, like that would hide us. I’ve egged my own place to make myself look not guilty [laughs]. My advice is to not just throw a single egg. Get two or three friends, and have at least three to seven eggs going at your target, if not the whole carton. The idea is to ruin the person’s life.

Next topic: girls who work at Victoria’s Secret. That store is terrible. When my friends make me go to the mall, it’s the only girls’ store I can’t get down with. I’d rather be at Home Depot. You can always hook up with someone in the bathroom there.

Home Depot is sexier than Victoria’s Secret? Oh my god, yes. Especially Hollywood Home Depot. There are so many hot Hollywood dads.

The studly dad who buys very quality lumber. Only the top prime lumber, yeah. There’s a place called the Wizard of Bras. If I were a girl, I’d shop for bras there.

If you could yell the name of any star in the world in their face, who would it be? Britney, without a doubt. She’s doing some Las Vegas concert, so I’m gonna go. I’ve seen her before. It was cool because we were on mushrooms.

What was seeing Britney Spears on mushrooms like? That’s intense. It was the Circus tour, so it was really weird. She was like a dot, she was so far away. Then we couldn’t find my car afterward [laughs]…

UP&COMING

Lose your 12 ping-pong balls every night this week!

For the full music calendar, see page 61 or visit thestranger.com/music For ticket on-sale announcements, follow twitter.com/seashows

Wednesday 10/16

Feezable the Germ, Props!, Adam Nystrom, Keyboard Kid (Nectar) See My Philosophy, page 53.

Legendary Pink Dots, Orbit Service (Crocodile) Raise your hand if you own every Legendary Pink Dots release. Congratulations on your affluent lifestyle! Led by glum vocalist/keyboardist Edward Ka-Spel, these Anglo-Dutch troupers have been traversing the world for more than 30 years, doling out oodles of expansive songs that drape a shroud of gothic eeriness over Pink Floydian psychedelia. On this tour, LPD are supporting their new album, The Gethsemane Option; it’s one of their deepest, most introspective and unnerving works yet. Gird your synapses…

DAVE SEGAL

King Khan and the Shrines, Hellshovel, Spaceneedles (Neumos) Arish “King” Khan—father, spiritual guru, and tarot card reader—is the enigmatic frontman of the craziest, and probably best, eight-piece psychedelic soul band to ever emerge from Berlin, Germany. There’s a horn section, a rhythm section, and sometimes a guitarist who will tuck his dick and drop his pants onstage, without missing a note. KK&S are equal parts classic soul and garage punk. They’re touring with a new album, the first in six long years, called Idle No More. The term “Idle No More” comes from a Canadian First Nations protest movement in Quebec, where Khan spent time in his teens. It’s an album filled with Khan’s personal stories, including

a dedication to the late Jay Reatard (“So Wild”) and also to his wife (“Pray for Lil”). One listen, and you can hear it: The king is back. KELLY O

Thursday 10/17

Neema, Peta Tosh, John Crown, Cassow, Grynch (Barboza) See My Philosophy, page 53.

Melt-Banana, Kinski, Monogamy Party

(Chop Suey) Rising from the roots of Japanese noise rock, Melt-Banana are still making incredible records 21 years into their career. In the ’90s, Melt-Banana wrote some of the most scathing, gnarled, one- and two-minute, stop-and-start noise songs. And all of this was overlaid with the most face-melting, piercing vocals that you’ve ever heard shrieked into your ears, courtesy of lead singer Yasuko O., who always leaves me in disbelief as to how such sounds can come out of one lady’s vocal cords. While their 2007 album Bambi’s Dilemma was almost poppy (well, for a noise-rock band), their latest album, Fetch, is a maturation of both their original noise rock and newer, demented dance-pop tracks. This is a must-see live show—I just hope Melt-Banana can fit their gigantic amps onto Chop Suey’s stage. BREE MCKENNA

Friday 10/18

Goblin, Secret Chiefs 3 (Neumos) See preview, page 47.

Hunx & His Punx, Wimps, Coconut Coolouts

(Chop Suey) See Sound Check, page 55.

Vex, Vats, So Pitted, Freak Vibe (Black Lodge) See Underage, page 65.

Dreamsalon, Diminished Men, Fuzzy Cloaks

(Bogart’s) Seattle’s own Dreamsalon—a trio (Min Yee, Matthew Ford, and Craig Chambers) whose impressive 206 CV includes A Frames, the Intelligence, the Lights, LoveTan, Evening Meetings, and more—make arty, bent garage rock and fidgety post-punk held together by a humming wall of constant rhythm. It’s ominous, slightly trippy, and perfect for your uncomfortable dance moves. With Diminished Men’s menacing avant-surf and the woozy psych-pop adventure that is Fuzzy Cloaks.

EMILY NOKES

Macy Gray (Crocodile) Macy Gray is perhaps still best known

for her smash 1999 single “I Try,” which remains in karaoke books everywhere. But Gray is a lot edgier and crazier than her famous torch song, and an awesome performer when she’s on her game. I saw her back in the day, and her prowling stage presence was a perfect match for her sexy, rasping voice. Her Facebook page says she wants to be “as famous as midnight. As powerful as a gun. As loved as a pizza.” Legend has it she was once nearly arrested in Barbados for saying “motherfucker” onstage too much. Tonight she’s set to perform from her debut album, On How Life Is, so enjoy “Sex-OMatic Venus Freak” and “I’ve Committed Murder” (and cross your fingers for “Gimme All Your Lovin’ or I Will Kill You”). ANNA MINARD

John Vanderslice, Prism Tats (Sunset) Twitter has ruined our perception of many people; it’s not always a good thing to have immediate access to someone’s inner dialogue, especially artists you’ve admired for years. So often the seemingly wise, strong, interesting people are actually total bores or dumbos when typing in 140 charac-

10.17 Thursday (Psychedelic

FOURPLAY

THU, OCT 17 - SUN, OCT 20

Bob James, Harvey Mason, Nathan East and Chuck Loeb - formidable... jazz quartet

NORTHWEST FAMILY LIFE BENEFIT SHOW

MON, OCT 21 PRE-SALE SHOW “Advocate and Celebrate”

GINGER BAKER’S JAZZ CONFUSION

TUE, OCT 22 - WED, OCT 23

Ft. Pee Wee Ellis, Alec Dankworth, Abass Dodoo

ROY HARGROVE QUINTET

THU, OCT 24 - SUN, OCT 27

Grammy winning jazz trumpeter traverses from straight ahead to swing to funk.

ROBERTA GAMBARINI QUARTET

TUE, OCT 29 - WED, OCT 30

“The true successor to Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, and Carmen McRae.” - The Boston Globe

GERALD ALBRIGHT

THU, OCT 31 - SUN, NOV 3

Contemporary and straight-ahead jazz, & twice Grammy-nomiated saxophonist.

2033 6th Ave. | 206.441.9729 all ages | free parking full schedule at jazzalley.com

G Hardings

$7 adv. $10 doors, 8pm, 21+

10.19 Saturday (Hip Hop / Rap) EMERSON WINDY

ShortE, Deadly Duo, Double B, Maclife

$8 adv. $10 Doors., 8pm doors, 21+

10.20 Sunday (Hip

ters or fewer. John Vanderslice, though, is not just a scarily talented songwriter—he’s also smart and hilarious. His Twitter feed is filled with goofy observations (“Ordering 12 ping-pong balls on Amazon is a lot more exciting than receiving 12 ping-pong balls in the mail”) and wisely balanced self-promotion that doesn’t come off as pushy or obnoxious. In fact, following him on Twitter has made me love him even more. It’s totally weird that I just critiqued a musician’s Twitter feed, I know, but I hope you’re already so totally in enamored with Vanderslice’s songs, as he’s been in the game since 2000, that you don’t mind. If not, though, get yourself to the show tonight (and follow @johnvanderslice) to start your love affair. MEGAN SELING

Saturday 10/19

Gaytheist, Author & Punisher, Making Fuck (Black Lodge) See Underage, page 65.

Total Life, Widesky, Relcad (Hollow Earth Radio) See Data Breaker, page 67.

Zeds Dead, Paper Diamond (Showbox Sodo) See Data Breaker, page 67.

Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar (KeyArena) Thanks to my decade-spanning appreciation of Bob Dylan, Prince, and Morrissey, my ability to ignore the stupid mouth-droppings of my most beloved artists in order to preserve my appreciation of their art is fully operational, which means my humongous love for Kanye West remains unscathed. The few times my pro-Kanye feelings have been jeopardized (most recently, the BBC interview and Kimmelgate), a return to what made me care in the first place clears things up, because Kanye West has made nothing but amazing music for his entire career. The ground covered from The College Dropout to Yeezus is composed of almost nothing but peaks; no one comes close to his talent, ambition, and—most amazing of all, considering the frantic pace of his output—consistency. Live, he’s in a class of his own, having figured out how to make hiphop live onstage like no one else before him on the Late Registration tour and improving his game with every outing. Expect dazzling theatrics, precise arrangements, unhinged mouthscreeds, and an awesome opening set from Kendrick Lamar, who, as Bumbershoot proved, knows how to knock out a crowd at KeyArena. DAVID SCHMADER See also My Philosophy, page 53.

The Body, the New Trust, MTNS, Where My Bones Rest Easy

(Highline) If there was a contest for “heaviest band,” Rhode Island’s own the Body would undoubtedly be one of the top contenders. After seeing these dudes rage several times now, only one question remains: How the fuck does vocalist Chip King still have a voice? With the help of some incredibly loud amplifiers, this two-piece roars louder than most, bringing an ear-piercing load of industrial-tinged metal wherever they go, all the while refusing to use a single microphone for their burly screams and howls. Considering the extreme volume at which they play, this is no easy feat. Do Chip a favor and, please, don’t talk to him after the show.

KEVIN DIERS

Wavves, King Tuff

(Neptune) Nathan Williams, aka Wavves, was the man/band at the forefront of the slacker sludge/ fuzzed-out reverb hype of 2008 (decades ago in internet years). Blankets of distortion over pop melodies and pointedly vapid lyrics, and blam!—the summer/bummer combo that created more buzz than a bee at boot camp. Wavves’ most recent album, Afraid of Heights, is heavier—there’s more depression and anxiety hiding in the grunge layers (you could almost compare the music of Heights to Wavves’ previous King of the Beach on album covers alone: a solemn black-and-white photo of a young man with what looks like a dagger drawn on his forehead for the former versus a colorful stoner beach cat for the latter)—but doesn’t stray too far from Williams’s signature moves: falsetto oooohs and bored/stoned/girlfriend lyrics delivered with fistfuls of Billie Joe Armstrong. EMILY NOKES

Byron Au Yong

(Chapel Performance Space) Welladay! Welladay! is the latest by this marvel of a Seattle composer.

It’s a collection of “wayward songs” written to honor the orphans and unwed mothers who once lived in the building that now houses the Chapel Performance Space, where the concert will take place in the fourth-floor chapel itself and on the wooden stairs leading up. Performers are vocalist Betsy Baeskens, a piano trio featuring violinist Tari Nelson-Zagar, cellist Lori Goldston, and pianist Tiffany Lin. Au Yong’s most recent “comic-rap-scrapmetal-opera,” Stuck Elevator, was based on a true story and had its debut earlier this year at American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco. Rumor is that Stuck Elevator may go up locally soon, too. But this one-night event promises a blending of intimate sound and maybe releasing the ghosts of some historical shame stuck in those walls in Wallingford. JEN GRAVES See also preview, page 51.

Sunday 10/20

Ssleeperhold, Troller, Airport, Hair and Space Museum (Therapy) See Data Breaker, page 67.

Dustin Wong & Takako Minekawa, Secret Colors, Will Do, DJ Retina Burn (Chop Suey) Dustin Wong is one of the most interesting and ebullient guitarists working today. Like that venerable master of guitar-looping, Robert Fripp, Wong relies on repetition and intricately interlocking rhythms to create his hypnotic compositions. While Mr. Fripp’s music can be a bit dry and antiseptic (but in a magnificent way!), Wong’s is radiant, beautiful, and bursting with optimism. His latest album, Mediation of Ecstatic Energy, will surfeit your serotonin centers with fizzing, six-string electric sunshine. Wong also collaborated this year with ex–Buffalo Daughter member Takako Minekawa on the Tropical Circle LP, which veers into a gentler, more pastel realm of oneiric indie pop. The track title “Party on a Floating Cake” perfectly encapsulates the mood. DAVE SEGAL

Earshot Jazz Festival: Philip Glass (Kirkland Performance Center) Philip Glass is coming, y’all! No, we do not know exactly what he will play, but it’s a rare solo piano recital by the world’s most loved art composer, so you don’t really need to know. You can just trust. JEN GRAVES

Monday 10/21

The Blow, Kisses (Neumos) Let’s brush up on the Blow: originally the intimate/sparse solo endeavor of Olympia’s Khaela Maricich in the early 2000s (with two self-released albums under her belt before jumping to K, of course), then joined by YACHT’s Jona Bechtolt, who popped up the project from 2004 to 2007. The most recent Blow added visual artist Melissa Dyne after Bechtolt’s departure, and Dyne is now a musical contributor/producer on the newest, self-titled al-

bum. The Blow (six or seven years in the making, now on Kanine Records, rumored to originally be written for Lindsay Lohan to use during her manic quasi-lesbian phase) wins for me because it’s a more cohesive, catchy sound, and Maricich’s purring vocals and clever lyrics are even more of a highlight against the shiny electro-pop background. EMILY NOKES See also Stranger Suggests, page 27.

Earthless, the Icarus Line (El Corazón) Like everyone else in the publishing business, guitar-player magazines are struggling. Consequently, you can’t really fault them for continuing to focus on old standbys like Eddie Van Halen and Eric Johnson, or overstating the significance of newer Billboard-ers like Jack White. Gotta keep selling those subscriptions somehow. But if credit were given where credit was due, Isaiah Mitchell would be a recurring cover boy for those publications. As the guitarist in the heavy instrumental psych band Earthless, Mitchell blazes with the electric soul of Hendrix, the dexterous stab of D. Boon, and the warped blues of the Groundhogs’ Tony McPhee. This isn’t to say the molten groove laid down by drummer Mario Rubalcaba and Mike Eginton isn’t worth the price of admission alone, but, Jesus, someone give Mitchell a signature model guitar already. BRIAN COOK

Tuesday 10/22

Ginger Baker Jazz Confusion (Jazz Alley) The cantankerous old drummer for Cream, Blind Faith, Fela Kuti, PiL, and several other units has returned to one of his earliest musical loves—jazz (duh). Of course, Baker, even at 74, can’t do anything too straight or trad, so he enlists Ghanaian percussionist Abass Dodoo to skew his hard jazz workouts toward that continent’s rhythmic undulations. Along with saxophonist Pee Wee Ellis (James Brown, Van Morrison) and bassist Alec Dankworth, Baker concocts a lively (con)fusion of originals along with covers of tunes by Wayne Shorter, Thelonious Monk, and Sonny Rollins. Footage of recent performances shows that Baker’s as deft and commanding as ever behind the kit. Also recommended: the documentary Beware of Mr. Baker, a scintillating look at one of the most gifted and meanest bastids in the music biz. DAVE SEGAL

Grave Babies, Vice Device, Male/Female, So Pitted (Chop Suey) Portland trio Vice Device feature guitarist/bassist Devin Welch, a onetime mainstay of Seattle avant-rock outfits like Flexions, Past Lives, and Shoplifting. Anyone familiar with those groups won’t be too surprised by the direction of Vice Device. Andrea K’s stark vocals power over sinewy bass throbs and analog-synth geometry, conjuring grim, gripping post-punk grit and Neue Deutsche Welle atmospheres. Everett’s Male/Female are a pleasurably bent, bi-gendered rock group who write odd little melodies that nonchalantly nestle into your brain. I liked them a lot upon initial contact. DAVE SEGAL

50 SHADES OF NEON

Darius, Keyboard Kid, 8 pm, $8

NEPTUNE THEATRE KT Tunstall, 8 pm, $26.50 / $29

NEUMOS King Khan and the Shrines, Hell Shovel, Spaceneedles, 8 pm, $15

NEW ORLEANS Legacy Band, Clarence Acox

PINK DOOR Casey MacGill & the Blue 4 Trio, 8 pm

RENDEZVOUS The Lonely Mountain Lovers, the Western Shore, Shakey Blankets, $5

THE ROYAL ROOM Frank Anderson Quartet, Adriana Giordano Quartet, 8 pm

SHIP CANAL GRILL The Canteloupes Jazz Jam, 7:30 pm

STUDIO SEVEN Deicide, Broken Hope, Disgorge, guests, 6 pm, $18/$20

James Coates, 8 pm, $6

HIGHWAY 99 Dirty Rice, 8 pm, $6

JAZZ ALLEY Halie Loren, $20.50

NECTAR Feezable the Germ, SK4MC, PROPS!,

SUNSET TAVERN Half Kingdom, Goodbye Heart, Luxe Canyon, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN Peter Mulvey, Cahalen Morrison, 8 pm, $13/$15

TRIPLE DOOR Earshot Jazz

Festival: Mehliana, 9:30 pm, $25/$27

TULA’S Rick Mandyck Trio, 7:30 pm, $10

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Jargon

DJ

BALTIC ROOM Crunk: DJ Henski, Marty Mar, Blue Eyed Soul, Bgeezy, guests

CONTOUR Rotation: Guests

THE EAGLE VJDJ Andy J

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN Passage: Jayms Nylon, Joey Webb, guests

FOUNDATION Skism, Sir Kutz, Headie, INNIT

HAVANA SoulShift: Peter Evans, Devlin Jenkins, Richard Everhard, $1

HIGHLINE Bottlecaps: DJ Nils Forever, Kool DJ Bronz FM, free

LAST SUPPER CLUB Vibe Wednesday: Jame$Ervin, DT, Contagious

LAVA LOUNGE Mod Fuck Explosion: DJ Deutscher Meister

MOE BAR The Hump: DJ

SO A MAN

INTO A BAR… “Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding. Find out what you already know, and you will see the way to fly.” —Richard Bach, from the 1970 best-selling novella Jonathan Livingston Seagull

“But if you drink enough shots of Fireball, you WILL be able to fly, Josh.” —Kelly O, Drunk of the Week, The Stranger KELLY O

Darwin, DJ Swervewon, guests, 10:30 pm, free

NEIGHBOURS Undergrad:

Guest DJs, 18+, $5/$8

PONY Body 2 Body: 10 pm

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Fade:

DJ Chinkyeye, DJ Christyle, 10 pm

THURS 10/17

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Fan Fiction, Spank Williams, the Buffalo Stagecoach, Tugboat Country

BARBOZA Neema, DJ Gerze, Peta Tosh, John Crown, Cassow, 8 pm, $10

BLUE MOON TAVERN

English Gardens, the Mad Ones, Walking Jordan, $5

CAFE RACER Earl Brooks

CAN CAN Vince Mira

CHOP SUEY Melt-Banana, Kinski , Monogamy Party, 8 pm, $15

COLUMBIA CITY THEATER

Susy Sun, guests, 8 pm, $10/$12

CONOR BYRNE Nick Bayard, Burning Lamps, $7

CROCODILE Carbon Leaf, Brian Wright, 8 pm, $18

DISTRICT LOUNGE Cassia

DeMayo Quintet, 8 pm, free

EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Dina

Blade Student Showcase:

Hans Brehmer Trio, 7 pm, $5

EL CORAZON Out on the Streets, Autumn Electric, Eagle Teeth, Those Red Heels, 8:30 pm, $5/$7

EMPTY SEA STUDIOS Birds

Of Chicago, 8 pm, $20/$25

a GUAYMAS CANTINA

Oleaje Flamenco, 8 pm, free

HARD ROCK CAFE Ayron Jones, 5 pm

HIGH DIVE Uh Oh Eskimo, No Crown , Just People, 8 pm, $6

HIGHLINE Godzillian, Cutting Head, Crawler, $6

HIGHWAY 99 Elliott Bay Music Group, 8 pm, $7

JAZZ ALLEY Fourplay, $35

a JOSEPHINE Shadows, A

God or an Other, X Suns, ReignaKaz, 8 pm, $5

LITTLE RED HEN

Jukehouse Hounds, $3

LUCID The Hang: Caffeine, 9:30 pm, free

THE MIX There Must Be

50 Ways to Leave Seattle: Amber Flame, guests

NECTAR Echoes Play Pink Floyd: Echoes, Brothers Gow, Galapagos, 8 pm, $7 a NEPTUNE THEATRE

The Joy Formidable, Feral Children 8 pm, $15

NEUMOS Dessa, Dude York, Wishbeard $3

PINK DOOR Bric-a-Brac, 8 pm

RENDEZVOUS The Crazy Squeeze, Bad Future, Dying Off, 10 pm

SCARLET TREE How Now Brown Cow , 9:30 pm, free

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Phantogram

a SODO PARK Harvest

Hoedown: The Tallboys 6:30 pm, $25/$30

SUNSET TAVERN Austin Lucas, Lee Bains III and the Glory Fires, Arms Like Cables, $8/$10

TRACTOR TAVERN James McMurtry, Gerald Collier, 8 pm, $20

TULA’S Fred Hoadley’s Sonando, 8 pm, $10

a VERA PROJECT Ghost Town, Her Bright Skies, Modern Day Escape, Oh No Fiasco, 6 pm, $12/$14

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Jennifer Kienzle and Friends, Casey MacGill, 5:30 pm, Free

THE WHITE RABBIT Marmalade, $6

DJ BALLROOM DJ Rob, free BALTIC ROOM Revolution:

DonnaTella Howe, Olivia LaGarce, guests

THE EAGLE Nasty: DJ King of Pants, Nark

FOUNDATION DJ Falcon, FooFou, Kyle Winters, Rion

HAVANA Sophisticated

Mama: DJ Sad Bastard, DJ Nitty Gritty

LAVA LOUNGE Rock DJs:

Guests LO-FI Noctum Caro: Guests

MOE BAR Soundsystem: DJ Panamami, free

NEIGHBOURS Jet Set Thursdays: Guest DJs

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND The Lowdown: DJ Lightray, $3

PONY Billion Dollar Babies: DJ Aykut Ozen, Pretty Baby

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Damn Son: DJ Flave, Sativa Sound System, Jameson Just, Tony Goods, $5 after 10:30 pm

THERAPY LOUNGE DUH.: DJ Omar, guests

TRINITY Space Thursdays: Rise Over Run, DJ Christyle, Johnny Fever, DJ Nicon, Sean Majors, B Geezy, guests, free FRI

10/18

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Metameric, Devils Hunt Me Down, High Noon Horizon , Vogen a BLACK LODGE The Vexx, Vats, So Pitted, Freak Vibe

BLUE MOON TAVERN

Indecisive Rhythm , Old News, B.C. Witte, $6

BOGART’S Dream Salon, Diminished Men , Fuzzy Cloaks, $6

CAFE RACER Portrait, Travis Hartnett Trio

CENTRAL SALOON Seth Freeman Band

a CHOP SUEY Hunx & His Punx, Wimps, Coconut Coolouts, $10/$12

COLUMBIA CITY THEATER Bushwick Book Club featuring music inspired by Jim

Bouton’s Ball Four: Guests, $10

CONOR BYRNE Dysfunction Junction, Douglas County

Daughters

a CROCODILE Macy Gray, $35

DARRELL’S TAVERN The Royal We, $7

EL CORAZON Painted Window, Mom’s Rocket, Bexley Heathens, Captain Algebra, 10 pm, $6/$8

a FREMONT ABBEY

Shannon Stephens, Pretty Broken Things, Naomi Wachira, 8 pm

HARD ROCK CAFE Jacob Cummings, 5 pm; Medicine Hat, Cuzinit, 9 pm, $10/$12

HIGH DIVE Staxx Brothers, Breaks and Swells, 9:30 pm, $10/$12

HIGHLINE Prime Material, Thou Shall Kill, Severhead, 9:30 pm, $5

HIGHWAY 99 Hot Wired Rhythm Band, 8 pm, $15

JAZZ ALLEY Fourplay, $35

a KEYARENA The Avett Brothers, $35-$49

THE KRAKEN BAR & LOUNGE Pouch, Argonaut, Skies Below

LITTLE RED HEN Knut Bell & the Blue Collars, $5

MEANY HALL Steve Korn Group, 7:30 pm, $20

NECTAR Whitewater Ramble, Buzz Brump, Warren G Hardings, 7 pm, $7/$10

NEPTUNE THEATRE Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls, 8 pm, $17.50/$20

NEUMOS Goblin, Secret Chiefs 3, 8 pm, $25

PARAGON Levi Said, free RENDEZVOUS Crooked Smile, 6 Demon Bag , Just Sage, 10 pm

a THE ROYAL ROOM Steve Lehman Trio, Peggy Lee, Wayne Horvitz Trio, Run Boy Run

SEAMONSTER Funky 2 Death, 10 pm, free SHOWBOX SODO Timeflies, Chiddy Bang, T.Mills, 8 pm, $25

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB Swords for Arrows, Dark Hip Falls, Radio Telescope , 8 pm, $7

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE The Gallow Swings, Killer Dillers, the Tom Price Desert Classic

SUNSET TAVERN John Vanderslice, Prism Tats, 10 pm, $15

TIM’S TAVERN John Hamhock, Earle Thunders, Jack Rainwater

TRACTOR TAVERN Smokey Brights, Country Lips, Matty and Mikey, 9:30 pm, $8

a TRIPLE DOOR Carbon Leaf, Brian Wright, 8 pm, $25/$30

TULA’S George Colligan Organ Trio, $16

a VERA PROJECT Twin Forks, Matrimony, 7:30 pm, $12.50/$16

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE The New Triumph

THE WHITE RABBIT Lanford Black, Scott Williams, Taxidermy Western, $6 DJ

95 SLIDE DJ Fever One

BALLROOM DJ Tamm of KISS fm

BALMAR Body Movin’ Fridays: DJ Ben Meadow, free

BALTIC ROOM Dirty Work: Rotating DJs including Sean Majors, BGeezy, Mikey Mars, Sir Kuts, guests

BARBOZA Just Got Paid: 100proof, $5 after 11:30 pm

CONTOUR Afterhours, 2 am

CUFF C&W Dancing: DJ Harmonix, DJ Stacey, 7 pm; TGIF: Guest DJs, 11 pm, $5

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN All Ours: D-t3ch, Mikey V, Jason Curtis, the Architects, 10 pm, $10

FOUNDATION Felguk

FUEL DJ Headache, guests

HAVANA Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

LAST SUPPER CLUB

Madness: Guests

LAVA LOUNGE DJ David James

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Caliente

Celebra: DJ Polo, Efren

PONY Shenanigans: DJ Porq, DJ kKost

THURSDAY 10/17

RETURN TO GREY GARDENS

So, anyway, Jinkx Monsoon. She’s been away for ever so damn long, you know— Vaudevillians-ing it up all over NYC, touring the lush wilds of Europe, basically living the rich and glamorous life of a current America’s Next Drag Superstar™ And, oh! How we’ve missed her. (I, for one, was beginning to twitch and slobber.) Tonight, however, she returns to us at last (thrill!) for a brief engagement with San Francisco’s shock queen Peaches Christ in Return to Grey Gardens. Jinkx is reviving that most popular and noted of her staunch characters, Little Edie Beale, and Peaches Christ is her batty old mum. But wait! The concept gets a little confusing: See, Jinkx isn’t playing Little Edie, per se she is playing herself 40 years from now, when they call her Little Queenie, and she finds herself in very Grey Gardens–like

SCARLET TREE Oh So Fresh

Fridays: Deejay Tone, DJ

Buttnaked, guests

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Crush:

Guest DJs, free

THERAPY LOUNGE Rapture:

Guests, $3 after 11 pm

TRINITY Tyler, DJ Phase, DJ Nug, guests, $10

THE WOODS Deep/Funky/ Disco/House: Guest DJs

SAT

10/19

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Flying Tortugas, Eagles & Aliens, the Slags , Sean Downey

BARBOZA San Fermin, 7 pm, $10

a BLACK LODGE

Gaytheist, Author and Punisher, Making Fuck

CAFE RACER The Faradays , Delta Halos, Ryan Bedard

CENTRAL SALOON The Winterlings

CHAPEL PERFORMANCE

SPACE Byron Au Yong

CONOR BYRNE Mariko

Ruhle, Home Sweet Home, GreenhornBluehorn , $7

a CROCODILE Joe Pug, Vandaveer, $12

DARRELL’S TAVERN Radio

Raheem , Soul Senate, Money Jungle, $7

a EL CORAZON Monsters

Scare You, Victory Heights, We the Audience, guests, 6 pm, $10/$12

HARD ROCK CAFE Nolan Garrett, 5 pm; Strangely Alright , guests, $10/$13

HIGH DIVE Ever So Android , the West

Death By Stars , 9:30 pm, $8

HIGHLINE The Body, the New Trust, MTNS, Where My Bones Rest Easy, $7

HIGHWAY 99 Terrance

Simien and the Zydeco Experience, 8 pm, $20

a HOLLOW EARTH

RADIO Total Life, Widesky, Relcad

JAZZ ALLEY Fourplay, $35

states of madness and squalor. Peaches is Big Queenie, her drag mother. So I guess it’s fair to say that she’s channeling Little Edie or something? See? No? Well, anyway, the two killed it with this show at Castro Theatre earlier this month, and tonight they bring it to us, complete with a screening of the actual documentary Grey Gardens just to muddle matters even more. And then an after-party at Julia’s! But don’t worry. Confused or not, you’re going to love the shit out of this thing—just like everyone else. Harvard Exit, 7:15 pm, $33/$60 VIP, all ages.

SATURDAY 10/19

ELEKTROPOP WITH MORGAN MCMICHAELS

Speaking of RuPaul’s Drag Race and its superstar queens (weren’t we?), Morgan McMichaels is coming in tonight to host ElektroPOP. You remember Morgan (aka Thomas White): She was the blond bombshell with the Superman tattoo from way back in Season 2. (Jinkx wasn’t even born yet, probably!) She shall be joining Robbie Turner, who’s cohosting, and Mayhem Miller from LA, Betty Rage and Kylie Koyote from Las Vegas, and the fierce Jessica Paradisco from here, who are all performing. Sin City is the theme, and it’s brought to you by Sinfinite Productions, the exact same folks who throw gigantic and thrilling gay events like the annual Red Dress Party, so, gurlfran, you know it’s gonna be SICK and FILTHY. Simultaneously! In the best way, of course. FRED Wildlife Refuge, 10 pm, free, 21+.

Sunday, October 20

a KEYARENA Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, 8 pm, $62-$941

LITTLE RED HEN Knut Bell & the Blue Collars, $5

NECTAR Emerson Windy, Shorte , Mac Life, 7 pm, $8

NEPTUNE THEATRE Wavves, King Tuff, 8 pm, $19.50

PARAGON Solbird, free PARAMOUNT THEATRE The Moody Blues, 8 pm, $65.75

QUEEN CITY GRILL Faith Beattie, Bayly, Totusek, Guity, free

RENDEZVOUS Trapdoor Social, the Requisite, Ghost Town Riot, 10 pm

a THE ROYAL ROOM The Witness, Moonspinners, Piano Royale, 6 pm

SEAMONSTER Porkchop Express, 10 pm, free

a SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Zed’s Dead, Boyce Avenue, 7:30 pm, $23 / $25

a SHOWBOX SODO Zeds Dead, Paper Diamond, 8 pm, $31.50

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE Pinups for Cancer, the One Uppers

STUDIO SEVEN Dying Fetus, Exhumed, Devourment, guests, 5:30 pm, $15/$17

SUNSET TAVERN The Dunwells, 10 pm, $10

TIM’S TAVERN Erin Darrington’s Birthday Bash: 7YOBG, Highlight Bomb, guests

a TOWN HALL West Africa

Live: Gansango Music & Dance Company, Thione Diop and Yeke Yeke, Modibo Traore and Bob Thompson, guests, 6:30 pm, $10/$15

TRACTOR TAVERN Cash’d Out, 7 pm, $15/$18

TULA’S George Colligan Organ Trio, $16

a VERA PROJECT Elements of Melody: Everfree’s Eternal Night, guests, 7:30 pm, $9/$11

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm; the Fig Trio, 9:30 pm

THE WHITE RABBIT Red Heart Alarm, Super Water Sympathy, the Glass

Notes , $6

DJ

BALLROOM DJ Warren

BALMAR Rotating DJ Night: Guests, 9:30 pm

BALTIC ROOM Good

Saturdays: Guest DJs

BARBOZA Inferno: Guests, 10:30 pm, free before 11:30 pm/$5 after CHOP SUEY Jai Ho!: Guest

DJs

CONTOUR Europa Night: Misha Grin, Gil

CUFF Gear Night: DJ

Mattstands, no cover if wearing fetish gear, otherwise $5 for men and $15 for women

FOUNDATION John “00” Fleming, Protoculture

HAVANA Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

HAZLEWOOD Gayzlewood: DJ Tanner, guests, free LAVA LOUNGE DJ Matt

NEIGHBOURS Powermix: DJ Randy Schlager

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND DJ Chance, DJ Eternal Darkness

PONY Meat: Amateur Youth , Dee Jay Jack

RE-BAR Ceremony: DJ Evan Blackstone, guests, 10 pm, $5

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Guest

DJs

TRINITY ((SUB)): Guy, VSOP, Jason Lemaitre, guests, $15/free before 10 pm

THE WOODS Hiphop/R&B/ Funk/Soul/Disco: Guest DJs

SUN 10/20

LIVE

BARBOZA You May Die in the Desert, Minot, Piano Piano, Armed with Legs, 8 pm, $6

BLUE MOON TAVERN Ask the Ages

CAFE RACER The Racer Sessions

CHOP SUEY Dustin Wong & Takako Minekawa, Secret

Colors, Will Do, DJ Retina

Burn a CROCODILE Oh Land, Sun Rai, $13

HIGH DIVE Circuit Vine , Posole, Half Kingdom, 8 pm, $6

HIGHLINE Forest Kingdom, Dark Features, guests, $5

JAI THAI BROADWAY Rock Bottom Soundsystem, free

JAZZ ALLEY Fourplay, $35

KELL’S Liam Gallagher a KEYARENA Pink, 7:30 pm, $35-$121 a KIRKLAND

PERFORMANCE CENTER Earshot Jazz Festival: Philip Glass, 8 pm, $75

LITTLE RED HEN Jukehouse Hounds, $3

NECTAR Edo G., Fifth and Foul, Navia Reigns, guests, 8 pm, $8

NEPTUNE THEATRE Streetlight Manifesto, Mike Park, Dan Potthast, 8 pm, $20/$25

PIES & PINTS Sunday Night Folk Review: Guests, free THE ROYAL ROOM The 32nd Street Singers, guests

SHIP CANAL GRILL Jay Thomas, Sun, noon

SUNSET TAVERN General Mojo’s Key Project, Lucy Horton Band, Rachel Price, 8 pm, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN Radical Face, Lily Kershaw, 7 pm, $20

TRIPLE DOOR Earshot Jazz Festival: The Bad Plus, 9:30 pm, $12-$25

TULA’S Jay Thomas Big Band, 4 pm, $5; Jim Cutler Jazz Orchestra, 8 pm, $8

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm; the Ron Weinstein Trio, 9:30 pm

DJ

BALTIC ROOM Mass: Guest DJs

CONTOUR Broken Grooves: DJ Venus, Rob Cravens, guests, free THE EAGLE T-Bar/T-Dance: Up Above, Fistfight, free a FULL TILT ICE CREAM

BY BRITTNIE FULLER

FRIDAY 10/18

VEX, VATS, SO PITTED, FREAK VIBE

Any show that lauds its lineup as a “new era of new bands in the PNW” prompts some heady speculation. But in this case, the scene bristling forth from Olympia around hardcore bands like White Wards and in Seattle with labels like Iron Lung Records is defining something new for punk in the Pacific Northwest. You’re in for a ferocious aural assault with new Olympia band Vex, whose distilled rage is embodied by aggressive female vocals and adrenalized riffs lacking in meat-driven slow-mo/ Tad-in-the-Woods-iness. Vex have a vinyl release in the works, but for now, their frenetic live shows will have to suffice. Also, save some earplugs for So Pitted, one of Seattle’s most raucous and sludge-centric fuzz-punk bands. Freak Vibe, as you’d expect from members of

Vinyl Appreciation Night: Guest DJs, 7 pm

LAVA LOUNGE No Come Down: Jimi Crash

MOE BAR Chocolate Sundays: Sosa, MarsONE, Phosho, free

NEIGHBOURS Noche Latina: Guest DJs

PONY TeaDance: DJ El Toro, Freddy King of Pants, 4 pm

Q NIGHTCLUB Revival:

Riz Rollins, Chris Tower, 3 pm, free

RE-BAR Flammable: DJ Wesley Holmes, 9 pm

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Salsa: DJ Nick

MON

10/21

LIVE 2 BIT SALOON Helgardh, Tomb of Ligeia, guests, $7

a BENAROYA HALL Ensign Symphony & Choir featuring Jenny Oaks Baker, 7:30 pm, $16-$36

BLUE MOON TAVERN Andy Coe Band, 9 pm, free a CHOP SUEY The Limousines, Mona, 7 pm, $12/$15

COASTAL KITCHEN Pork Chop Trio, 9:30 pm, free

CROCODILE Church of Misery, Saviours, Wizard Rifle EL CORAZON Earthless, the Icarus Line, Joy, Mystery Ship, 7:30 pm, $12/$15

JAZZ ALLEY Northwest

Family Life Benefit Show, $10

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

MAC’S TRIANGLE PUB Jazz and Blues Night: Guests, free NEUMOS The Blow, Kisses, 8 pm, $15

NEW ORLEANS The New Orleans Quintet, 6:30 pm

THE ROYAL ROOM Royal

Room Collective Music Ensemble a SHOWBOX SODO the Naked and Famous, 8 pm, $25 / $28

STUDIO SEVEN Watain, Insolitude, Tribulation, 7 pm, $20/$23

Nudes and Sioux City Pete and the Beggars, will conjure nauseating vibes. The pure intestines on the background of their Bandcamp page hint at their stumbling, morass-tastic, and distinctively gross aesthetic. With Nick Cave–like monster cries and the swampiest bass you’ll hear all week, the decadent drudgery on their frothy, snarling single “Jesus in the Kitchen” seems designed to displace organs (or your lunch). With Vats, another new local band rumored to be “dance-y funk-punk.” Black Lodge, 9 pm.

SATURDAY 10/19

GAYTHEIST, AUTHOR & PUNISHER, MAKING FUCK

Enter a punishing realm of heavy rock tonight with Portland’s resoundingly queer metal-punk band Gaytheist Fresh off the release of their latest, Hold Me… but Not So Tight, their dissonant metal obliterates with a sense of melody that sparkles in surprising ways. On tour from Salt Lake City, Making Fuck may also inspire an expansion in your threshold for gristled brutality. San Diego–based industrial-drone/dub-metal act Author & Punisher should probably be soundtracking competitive cyberpunk sports, like folks wearing black PVC using spiked maces to bash skulls into baskets made of lasers. This music is legitimately bizarre, with a doomy post-goth atmosphere at odds with the ultimately wobbly, wonky dubstep now best known for filling arenas with 50 shades of neon. Black Lodge, 9 pm.

THURSDAY OCTOBER 17 | 6 PM

TAKE WARNING & THE VERA PROJECT PRESENT GHOST TOWN, HER BRIGHT SKIES

$12 ADV

FRIDAY OCTOBER 18TH | 7:30 PM

TAKE WARNING & THE VERA PROJECT PRESENT TWIN FORKS MATRIMONY,PLUS GUESTS $12 ADV

SATURDAY OCTOBER 19 | 7:30 PM

ELEMENTS OF MELODY: EVERFREE’S ETERNAL NIGHT, THE OVERPONES BLOO, MAESTRO SCHERZO AND BRIGHT SIDE, TARBY, DONN, $9 ADV $11 DOS

FRIDAY OCTOBER 25 | 7:00 PM

CLARA C, AIJIA

$15, $25.00 VIP

SATURDAY OCTOBER 26 | 7:30 PM

CON BRO CHILL CHERUB, MANSIONS ON THE MOON

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)

MONDAY OCTOBER 28 | 7:30 PM

KEVIN DEVINE AND THE GODDAMN BAND, NOW, NOW HARRISON HUDSON

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)

ALWAYS ALL AGES

TRACTOR TAVERN Stephen Kellog, Fort Atlantic, 7 pm, $20

a TRIPLE DOOR

Musicquarium: Free Funk Union, free; Savoy Brown, 7:30 pm, $25/$30

THE WHITE RABBIT

Michael Shrieve’s Spellbinder, $6

DJ BALTIC ROOM Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate Sound, $5

BARBOZA Icon Mondays: Sean Majors, guests, free COMPANY BAR Rock and Roll Chess Night: DJ Plantkiller, 8 pm, free

CONOR BYRNE Get the Spins: Guest DJs, free CONTOUR Manic Mondays: Guests

HAVANA Manic Mondays: DJ Jay Battle, free THE HIDEOUT Introcut, guests, free

LAVA LOUNGE Psych/Blues: Bobby Malvestuto

LO-FI Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate, Sound Selecta, Element, Mista Chatman , $5

THE MIX Bring Your Own Vinyl Night: Guests, 6 pm

MOE BAR Minted Mondays: DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND SIN: DJ Keanu, 18+, free PONY Dirty Deeds: Guest DJs Q NIGHTCLUB Electric

Penetration, 6 pm, free; Reflect, 8 pm, free

TUE 10/22

LIVE BARBOZA Clairy Brown and the Bangin’ Rackettes, 7 pm, $12

CAFE RACER Jacobs Posse

CHOP SUEY Grave Babies, Vice Device, Male/Female, So Pitted, $7

CONOR BYRNE Ol’ Time

Social: The Tallboys , 9 pm

a CROCODILE Boy, Jeremy Messersmith, $15

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN Monktail Creative Music

Concern, DJ Shonuph, free

HIGH DIVE Jonathan Warren & The Billy Goats, 8 pm, $6

JAZZ ALLEY Ginger Banker’s Jazz Confusion, $30.50

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

LITTLE RED HEN Tequila Rose Band

LO-FI Stop Biting: Introcut, guests, $5

a MEANY HALL Garth Knox, 7:30 pm, $20

THE MIX Jazz Night: Don Mock, Steve Kim, Jacques Willis, 8 pm

a NEPTUNE THEATRE

Under the Streetlamp, 8 pm, $39.50

NEUMOS Deer Tick, Robert Ellis, 8 pm, $20

NORDSTROM RECITAL

HALL, BENAROYA HALL

Earshot Jazz Festival: SF Jazz Collective, 8 pm, $14-$28

OUTWEST Wine and Jazz Night: Tutu Jazz Quartet, free

OWL N’ THISTLE Jazz Improv Night: Guests

a PARAMOUNT THEATRE

Joe Satriani, Living Colour, 7:30 pm, $31.25-$61.25

RENDEZVOUS The X-IV, Fonzarelli, Bugs

SEAMONSTER McTuff Trio, 10 pm, free

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET

Hank 3, 8 pm, $23/$25

STUDIO SEVEN The Bunny, the Bear, the Paramedic, This Romantic Tragedy, guests, 6:30 pm, $11/$13

SUNSET TAVERN Power

Skeleton , Entmoot, Skunk Rider , Protogeist, 8 pm, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN Paper

Kites, Reuben and the Dark, 8 pm, $12/$15

TULA’S The Little Big Band, 7:30 pm, $5; Jazz Underground, 7:30 pm, $8

THE WHITE RABBIT Midnight Atmosphere , Fringe Shift, $5

DJ

95 SLIDE Chicken & Waffles: Supreme La Rock, DJ Rev, free

SATURDAY 10/19

Nothing warms the heart on a cold autumn day like a tender moment between two skeletons frolicking in a bed of flowers that also, at first glance, sort of look like their rotting entrails.

AARON HUFFMAN

You May Die in the Desert w/Minot, Piano Piano, Armed with Legs Sun Oct 20, Barboza

BALTIC ROOM Drum & Bass Tuesdays: Guests BLUE MOON TAVERN Blue Moon Vinyl Revival Tuesdays: DJ Country Mike, A.D.M., guests, 8 pm, free THE EAGLE Pitstop: DJ Nark HAVANA Word Is Bond: Hoot and Howl, $3 after 11 pm LAVA LOUNGE Metal:

BY DAVE SEGAL

ELECTRONIC-MUSIC SMORGASBORD WITH TOTAL LIFE, RELCAD, AND WIDESKY

The tiny, vanguard internet station Hollow Earth Radio hosts a stacked bill tonight. As mentioned here many times before, Seattle’s Relcad (Alex Duff) has been producing some of the region’s most transcendently beautiful and rhythmically righteous techno over the last half-decade, peaking with last year’s Anonymous City (Pleasure Boat Records). Get into it. Widesky (Seattle sound designer Seth Chrisman) conjures pristine nature images with his vast, vaporous drone tapestries; it’s (mostly) serene drifting music for sensitive souls. Fresh off his tour opening for Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Total Life (Growing guitarist Kevin Doria) threatens to make the space/time continuum bulge with the sort of all-encompassing drones that force you to contemplate ultimate matters. Total Life’s music is a cement mixer chanting “Om” to infinity, a perpetual machine churn that centers you like the best meditation session. Bring your attention span. Hollow Earth Radio, 9 pm, $7 suggested donation, all ages.

TORONTO DUBSTEP DUO ZEDS DEAD ARE SO DYNAMIC

One of North America’s most popular dubstep acts, Toronto duo Zeds Dead have reached that exalted state where they can remix tracks by deceased legends (Nina Simone), living luminaries (Rolling

LAKE CITY RECORD SHOW

Sunday November 17th - 10am-4pm

Doctor Jonze

MERCURY Die: Black Maru, Major Tom, $5

MOE BAR Cool.: DJ Cory Alfano, DJ Cody Votolato, free

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Vicious

Dolls: DJ Rachael, 9 pm, $5

WILDROSE Taco Tuesday: Guest DJs

Stones, Radiohead, Massive Attack), and hot current artists (Major Lazer, Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs). Despite being so gosh-dang marketable, Zeds Dead aren’t hacks. They show a studious aptitude for dynamics, combining crisp, booming beats and requisite colonic low end with glittering textural detail and melodic verve. When the whim takes them, these dubstep dudes can also work in the trap and drum ’n’ bass styles. With Paper Diamond Showbox Sodo, 7:30 pm, $31.50 adv/$37 DOS, all ages.

SUNDAY 10/20

DARK SYNTH MAGUS SSLEEPERHOLD

Austin, Texas, synth magus Ssleeperhold (José Cota, ex–Medio Mutante, current member of BOAN) makes a welcome stop at Therapy, a minuscule bar on Broadway that’s starting to make moves on the electronic-music front. Ssleeperhold coaxes dank swirls of synth gas that’ll have you feverishly flashing back to John Carpenter and Goblin soundtracks for movies that make your blood scream. It’s tenebrous, broseph. Speaking of Goblin, I thought Troller would sound like a tribute to that Italian group’s 1976 LP, Roller. They’re not quite that sublime, but Troller do peddle an ethereal, brooding breed of gothtronica that’ll make your eyeliner slide down to your toes. Finally, Airport and Hair and Space Museum remain two of Seattle’s most reliable exponents of dark, ramrodding disco and astral ambient music, respectively. Treasure them. Therapy, 9 pm, $5, 21+.

Albums, 45's, 78's, Sheet Music, Memorabilia, 8-tracks, Posters, etc.

FREE ADMISSION!

LAKE CITY COMMUNITY CENTER 12531 28TH AVE NE, SEATTLE, WA CONTACT US AT 206-850-1588 US ON FACEBOOK

SOUNDERS DOCUMENTARY — PREMIERE Wed Oct 23, 7pm Sold Out Tue Oct 22, 7pm • Sat Oct 26, 11am, 3:30pm

FILM

Print the Truth

Benedict Cumberbatch Can’t Save The Fifth Estate from Sucking

BY PAUL CONSTANT

Generally, when the subject of a biopic is unhappy with the film made of their life, I want to see that movie a little more. Nobody who is noteworthy enough to make headlines should be

happy about their own unauthorized biography; for them to love the way they’re portrayed would be proof of authorial toothlessness. Last week, Julian Assange issued a statement calling The Fifth Estate, the movie about the birth of WikiLeaks, “a film by the old media about the new media” and “a geriatric snoozefest that only the US government could love.” Assange also published a letter he sent to Fifth Estate star Benedict Cumberbatch in January, which opens with starstruck praise, expounds on the “significant” and eternal “bond that develops between an actor and

a living subject,” and ends with a plea for Cumberbatch to resign from the film:

You will be used, as a hired gun, to assume the appearance of the truth in order to assassinate it. To present me as someone morally compromised and to place me in a falsified history. To create a work, not of fiction, but of debased truth.

The thing is, pretty much everyone but Julian Assange agrees that Julian Assange is an egomaniac. And that’s perfectly okay— egomaniacs are often the people who get things done, who break through boundaries. But Assange’s response to the movie is

That Scary, More Vital Than Ever BY

KELLY O

“

They’re all gonna laugh at you!” I didn’t sleep the night before my first day of junior high. I was terrified. All my clothes were from Sears. I was sure they would know I was a poor farm girl. And I was fat. I had a huge butt and no boobs. I wore size 10 shoes. Surely they would notice my giant, freaky feet.

They. THE GIRLS. I wasn’t worried about the boys. See, if you’re a dork and a guy, you might score a black eye or a broken rib. But if you find yourself on the wrong side of a pack of girls—you’re fucked. They don’t want to break your bones; they want to break your

a particularly paranoid one that balances his need for attention—his aroused sense of flattery is palpable—with a particularly vivacious messiah complex. In sum, it’s sad that a man who started a world-changing website devoted to naked facts has so giddily tossed aside Occam’s razor to pronounce a movie to be the result of an international conspiracy against him, with absolutely zero proof to back up his claims.

Assange’s outrage made me eager to see The Fifth Estate. And then I saw The Fifth Estate. Movies about current events have to succeed on two fronts: They have to serve as a source of information, a piece of journalism that contextualizes the story in something as close to real time as Hollywood can muster. And they have to be a compelling piece of cinema, a work of art that makes the case for its own existence. The Fifth Estate fails at both these tasks.

Let’s begin with the positives: The cast is strong. Cumberbatch makes a fine Assange, moody, manic-depressive, and desperately in love with himself. As Assange’s friend and an early force behind WikiLeaks, Daniel Brühl plays Daniel Berg with a quiet intellect. He’s not showy, but he’s dignified, and that dignity adds a sense of morality that the film needs to lean on in the latter half. Unfortunately, the movie relies too much on the burgeoning bromance between Assange and Berg, veering close to slash fiction in scenes where the two pout after a fight over Berg’s new girlfriend, who Assange claims is leading him away from the WikiLeaks cause. The story is simplistic and uninteresting, in part because we’ve seen this dynamic play out so well before, most notably in The Social Network

across the actors—all seem cheesy and overdone. And the way Condon chooses to show how Assange and Berg visualize WikiLeaks itself, as an endless array of computers on desks stretched out to the horizon with cordless fluorescent lights hanging down from the sky as far as the eye can see in a kind of Dilbert Valhalla, is just depressing.

Further, the weak script doesn’t bother to inform us about WikiLeaks, beyond an evening-news summary of its greatest hits. The film ends, too, just as WikiLeaks is really getting started, with Chelsea Manning becoming a character late in the final act. A few of the moral quandaries of WikiLeaks are raised— aren’t editors necessary at some point in the process, rather than just vomiting up whole secrets unprocessed?—but the film forgets the questions almost as soon as they’re asked. It’s not hagiography, but it’s not particularly deep, either.

The Social Network looms largely over The Fifth Estate.

heart. Girls get straight A’s in Psychological Bullying 101.

The story of Carrie White—a horrordrama written by Stephen King and turned into a film in 1976—is timeless. The genre classic is now being revamped by director Kimberly Peirce, best known for her 1999 film Boys Don’t Cry, an equally horrific story based on the real life of Brandon Teena, a young trans man who was raped and murdered after his male friends discovered that he was trans. Peirce, who is openly gay, is undoubtedly aware of the terrors of queer bullying. And with Carrie, Peirce aims

The Social Network looms largely over The Fifth Estate. Unlike Network, Estate doesn’t ever seem comfortable with the fact that it’s largely a movie about men staring intently at laptops. A major scene early in the film involves Assange and Berg sitting quietly across a table from each other as they carry out an intense IM discussion. The ways that director Bill Condon tries to inject drama into the scenes—voice-overs, laying the text

her sharpened focus on the high-school “mean girl.”

Before even seeing the remake, I decided no other actress could compete with Sissy Spacek’s earlier version of the shy teenage outcast. Spacek was perfect—with her unconventional prettiness and her nervously soft Southern drawl. But as a modernized Carrie White, Chloë Grace Moretz nails it. The new Carrie is literally that—a modernization that’s otherwise the same film, word-forword, scene-by-scene. The few new details, like the locker room “menstrual blood humiliation” scene being videotaped and posted on the internet, brings the story into 2013, and adds a savage edge. Margaret White is intensified, too, with Julianne Moore playing Carrie’s religious freak show of a mom. Her Bible rants have more fury and fervor, and she often says “I love you” to Carrie, making the mother-daughter relationship richer. Mom is also a self-mutilator (which is more gory, in one scene with a sewing tool, than any bucket of pig’s blood could ever be), and Carrie’s telekinetic powers get a boost from

It’s a good thing that a very good, very compelling movie about WikiLeaks has already been made. It’s a documentary called We Steal Secrets: The Story of WikiLeaks Written and directed by Alex Gibney, Secrets was featured at SIFF this year, and it’s just been released on DVD this month. Secrets is the superior film in every way: It covers the WikiLeaks story in-depth, from its inception to as close to the present day as is humanly possible; it directly addresses Assange’s moral complexities, including the sexual assault charges filed against him (Estate mentions the charges as an aside at the end of the movie); and it’s a more compelling thriller, bringing in an array of characters to explain the risk Assange and his volunteer army took to bring hidden documents to light. We Steal Secrets is about the same running time as The Fifth Estate, but it accomplishes so much more, both as a source of reportage and as a work of art. If Estate holds a pint glass full of information about WikiLeaks, Secrets is a swimming pool. Despite all of Assange’s many complaints, the real problem with The Fifth Estate is that it might wind up being seen by more people than the best film about WikiLeaks yet made.

fancy, modern CGI.

The film still isn’t very “scary.” I suppose it never was. It’s never been about religion or telepathic superpowers. Carrie is the story of a young woman being bullied by other women, and her own mother. It’s a cautionary tale about pushing someone to the breaking point. And it’s a story worth retelling.

VIDEO STORE DAY

Saturday, October 19th

$3 OFF new Blu-ray & DVDs for

10 rentals for $35 (a $10

Grumpy Hour specials all day long at VHSpresso (See store for sale details) ENTER TO WIN FABULOUS PRIZES:

• A year-long pass to Siff Cinema Uptown & SIFF Film Center

• A theater rental from our neighbors at Grand Illusion Cinema

• Passes for awesome venues like Northwest Film Forum, area Landmark Theaters, & EMP!

MOVIE & MERCH GIVEAWAYS from Criterion, Kino Lorber, Zeitgeist Films, Magnolia Pictures/IFC, E1 Entertainment, Echo Bridge Entertainment, Music Box Films, Anchor Bay, and Shout! Factory.

FILM SHORTS

LIMITED RUN

AMERICAN MOVIE

The beloved documentary about a couple small-town weirdos dedicated to the production of their no-budget Night of the Living Dead–style horror film, Coven Central Cinema, Fri-Mon 9:30 pm.

THE BEYOND

A woman plans to renovate an old hotel, only to find that it contains a portal to hell. Talk about a fixer-upper! From legend of Italian gore cinema Lucio Fulci. Presented on 35 mm. Grand Illusion, Wed-Thurs 8 pm.

BIG ASS SPIDER!

Is “mockbuster parody” a genre? This movie is a mockbuster parody about a giant spider. SIFF Cinema Uptown, Fri-Sat 11 pm.

BIRTH OF THE LIVING DEAD

In this new documentary, George Romero reflects on his monumental film Night of the Living, which also screens at the Grand Illusion this week. Grand Illusion, Fri 8 pm, Sat-Sun 6, 8 pm, Mon 9 pm, Tues 7, 9 pm.

CUTE NIGHT!

YouTube videos of things that are cute, like kittens and puppies and baby seals and stuff. Central Cinema, Tues Oct 22 at 7 pm.

EARSHOT JAZZ FILMS

The movie section of the Earshot Jazz Festival kicks off this week with Dizzy Gillespie and Always for Pleasure from Les Blank, Charles Lloyd: Arrows Into Infinity, and more. Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Tues. See nwfilmforum. org for details.

EVIL DEAD 2

Sam Raimi’s beloved horror comedy of 1987, starring a ridiculously handsome Bruce Campbell. SIFF Cinema Uptown, Tues Oct 22 at 7 pm.

GHOSTLIGHT

A man agrees to spend the night in a haunted movie theater to win a cash prize in this locally made independent horror film. Grand Illusion, Mon Oct 21 at 7 pm.

HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH

This movie in the Halloween series departs from the “Michael Myers” storyline/slasher genre, foraying into the world of witchcraft and supernatural horror. SIFF Cinema Uptown, Tues Oct 22 at 9 pm.

THE HIDDEN FORTRESS Akira Kurosawa’s tale of a general, a princess, and two ding-dong peasants smuggling some treasure inspired George Lucas to make Star Wars. What will it inspire you to make? SIFF Cinema Uptown, Mon Oct 21 at 7 pm.

HOME MOVIE DAY

Audience members bring in home movies to be screened in front of a panel of preservation experts and voyeuristic gawkers. And it’s free! Northwest Film Forum, Sat Oct 19 at 10 am.

THE INSTITUTE

A documentary about the 2008 immersive alternate-reality gaming art project The Jejune Institute, which enchanted more than 7,000 participants during its course of play in San Francisco. Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Sun 7, 9 pm, Mon 9 pm, Tues 7, 9 pm.

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

A deeply terrifying movie musical about a man-eating plant. Central Cinema, Fri-Mon 6 pm.

MUSCLE SHOALS

Few recording studios have the legendary mystique of Alabama’s Muscle Shoals. Director Greg Camalier realizes it’s impossible to be comprehensive about the soul/ funk incubator, but he captures the importance of founder Rick Hall, interviews stars like Aretha Franklin, Wilson Pickett, and Keith Richards, and offers archival footage of some of the best session musicians ever to plug in.

million is a lot to pay for Sarah Palin.

OCTOBER 19: Today in history, nothing happened.

THIS WEEK… IN HISTORY!

Editor’s Note: The following “This Week in History” is so chock full of historical inaccuracies, our fact checker got fed up and quit. Thanks a pantload, Wm.™ Steven Humphrey! (We’re being sarcastic!)

This week… in history!

OCTOBER 16: Today in history, the Cuban Missile Crisis officially began in 1962. President Kennedy was thumbing through a pile of nude Marilyn Monroe photos when he came across a picture of Fidel Castro’s secret Cuban missile base, and he was all like, “WHAAAT THAAA FAAAAACK??” And Castro was all like, “Yahhh, papi! You feeling my swag now?” And the Soviets were all like, “Vee are goink to murrrder efferyvon in zee VORLD!!” But they didn’t, and everything turned out okay.

OCTOBER 17: Today in history, gangster Al Capone was convicted of tax evasion in 1931, thanks to the work of “The Untouchables,” led by federal agent Kevin Costner. (Nice work, Kevin!) ALSO: Today in 2013, the CW will begin the historical teen soap opera Reign (debuting Thurs Oct 17, 9 pm) which revolves around hot teenager Mary, Queen of Scots, who is romantically torn between two hot teenage brothers while navigating various sexual intrigues within the royal court. It also has a modern indie-pop soundtrack (featuring Mumford and Sons, the Lumineers, and more) and is absolutely, 100 percent as historically accurate as this column.

OCTOBER 18: Today in history, the United States took possession of Alaska in 1867 after buying it for $7.2 million from Russia—$7.2

OCTOBER 20: Today in history, the US Senate ratified the Louisiana Purchase in 1803. How much did we pay France for that? Roughly $15 million? And exactly what did we get in return? Larry the Cable Guy and Britney Spears. When are we going to stop throwing money away on stupid people?? ALSO: Today in 2013, Bravo will air Queer Eye (Sun Oct 20, 9 pm)—a reunion special featuring all your old-timey fave queers from the classic and beloved Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! I loved, loved, LOVED this series, which was groundbreaking not only for featuring gay folk, but presenting them as no big deal. Tune in to see if Carson Kressley still wears fun belts! ALSO: Today in history, Tom Petty was born (1950). ALSO: Today in history, Snoop Dogg was born (1971).

OCTOBER 21: Today in history, the year was 1521 and Ferdinand Magellan discovered the “Strait of Magellan.” And he was all like, “Heyyyy… this strait has the same last name as me. Weird.” ALSO: Today in 2013, VH1 will premiere the TV movie CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story (Mon Oct 21, 9 pm), also known as the “SQUEEEEEEE heard round the world!” The story behind this sexy, hot ’n’ talented R&B/hiphop trio from the 1990s is superfascinating, and the actors chosen to play T-Boz, Chilli, and Left-Eye are dead ringers for their counterparts. Expect tons of music, drama, but absolutely no chasin’ waterfalls! OCTOBER 22: Today in history, nothing happened. WAIT! Except for the births of Jeff Goldblum (1952), Bob Odenkirk (1962), and Zac Hanson—drummer for the dreamy band that sang “MMMBop,” Hanson (1985)!! Also somebody named “Daniel Boone” (1734)? I think he recorded with Snoop Dogg.

Harvard Exit, Fri-Sun 2, 4:30, 7:05, 9:35 pm, Mon-Tues 4:30, 7:05, 9:35 pm.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

The George Romero classic that spawned a thousand zombie flicks—not to mention essays on race relations in America. Presented on 16 mm! Grand Illusion, Fri-Sat 10 pm.

PROFESSOR FRED’S MOVIE MARVELS

“Schlock cinema expert and local TV legend” Professor Fred stops by the Scarecrow Video to present a screening of The Monster Maker, a campy horror film from 1944 about a mad scientist who deforms his enemies. Scarecrow Video, Fri Oct 18 at 7 pm.

SEATTLE POLISH FILM FESTIVAL

The annual showcase of contemporary Polish cinema, in its second and final weekend. SIFF Cinema Uptown, Fri-Sun. For complete schedule and showtimes, see polishfilms.org.

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

A sharp, clever, and gory horror-comedy that manages to be as scary as it is hilarious, Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s Shaun of the Dead shows all the marks of becoming a cult classic (and yeah, I know that sounds cliched, but in this case, it’s actually true). In the recent glut of financially successful zombie flicks, from 28 Days Later to the remake of Dawn of the Dead, the UK–made Shaun is the clear spiritual and intellectual winner, a film that simultaneously respects and satirizes the zombie genre. (ERIK HENRIKSEN) Harvard Exit, Sat Oct 19 at midnight.

STUDENT LOAN MOVIES

What’s more horrifying that being saddled for life with debt? Screenings of Default: The Student Loan Movie and “related short films” for your edification. Friday night, baby. Keystone Church, Fri Oct 18 at 7 pm.

VIDEO STORE DAY

See Festive, this page. Scarecrow Video, Sat Oct 19.

NOW PLAYING

BLUE JASMINE

The title character, played by Cate Blanchett, is (or was) a wealthy Manhattanite. When her ex-husband Hal (Alec Baldwin) turns out to be a Madoff-like crook, she loses everything, so she relocates to San Francisco to stay with her working-class sister Ginger (Sally Hawkins). Everyone is lying to themselves—about who they are, what they want, and what they feel they deserve. Blanchett is amazing as this supremely deluded neurotic, and it’s refreshing to see Woody Allen’s jangly, sometimes unpleasant protagonists channel that energy toward masking something potentially more sinister: a measure of complicity in their personal disasters. (MATT LYNCH)

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

Captain Phillips shouldn’t be as good as it is. It’s a big studio picture, based on an inspirational true story, starring one of the world’s hugest movie stars, directed by a guy most famous for his Bourne movies: Broken into pieces, Captain Phillips should be mass-market sap. But it’s the opposite of that: lean and smart and intense, it’s a film that’s happy to kick you in the stomach to make a point. The broad strokes: Tom Hanks plays Richard Phillips, who captained the shipping vessel Maersk Alabama in 2009 on what was supposed to be a routine trip around the Horn of Africa. It wasn’t routine: Somali pirates took the ship, then took Phillips as a hostage. And in Captain Phillips, it’s in the details where things get interesting and blurry. Not satisfied with telling the story from Phillips’s white, American perspective, the story also follows the life and the motives of Muse (Barkhad Abdi, excellent), who hijacks the Alabama with a tiny crew and desperate determination. Considering Captain Phillips is based on Phillips’s memoir, it’s hardly surprising he comes off well here—overwhelmed and outgunned, he’s still clever and determined to do whatever he can to save his crew. It’s to Hanks’s credit, though, that Phillips also comes across as vulnerable and scared: He’s a man handling a terrifying situation as best he can, and who’s also aware that his best won’t be good enough. Both Phillips and Muse are strong men, and ones standing in stark opposition to each other—but both are also subject to the guns pointed at them, to the brutally unpredictable effects of globalization and racism, to the twitchy reflexes of their lizard brains. On the surface, the film tracks, with jarring intensity, the hijacking of the Alabama and the capture of Phillips. But more than anything, it’s about consequences. The hijacking is a consequence. Every action of Phillips and Muse has consequences. And when the time comes, the director doesn’t cut away when Hollywood usually does: Captain Phillips doesn’t end until we’ve seen the consequences. (ERIK H ENRIKSEN)

DON JON

I’ll concede that Joseph Gordon-Levitt has earned the right to direct a modest, low-stakes indie flick, and that’s

precisely what Don Jon is: the story of a simple, pornaddicted Jersey guido (JG-L), who thinks he’s found love in the club with a calculating, narcissistic guidette (Scarlett Johansson) who isn’t crazy about his extracurriculars. As writer, director, and star of Don Jon, Gordon-Levitt’s auteur ambitions here are evident—and while the film isn’t a total disaster (the acting and direction are both serviceable), it’s clear that his hollow, cavernous eyes are significantly bigger than his stomach. With a condescending script that shows a complete lack of sympathy for (or even interest in) its characters, Gordon-Levitt seems almost contemptuous of the petty and monotonous lives he’s created. (ZAC PENNINGTON)

ENOUGH SAID

All of Nicole Holofcener’s films involve the same building blocks: They’re about self-deception and unhappiness and relationships and how to be a good person. Catherine Keener is always in them. But from this toolbox of feelings and Catherine Keeners, Holofcener consistently constructs perceptive, emotionally acute films that are clear-eyed about human frailty. And while it doesn’t let any of the characters off the hook for their bullshit—it wouldn’t be a

INTERNATIONAL INDEPENDENT VIDEO STORE DAY

Even at this late date in the Netflix era, Seattle remains home—miraculously, wonderfully—to an amazing array of independent video stores. We’ve got Broadway Market Video and On 15th Video on Capitol Hill, Rain City Video in Ballard, Reckless Video in Maple Leaf, and the mighty Scarecrow Video in the University District. And on Saturday, October 19—the third annual International Independent Video Store Day—we’re given an official opportunity to celebrate our good fortune. At Scarecrow, they’ll be hosting a day of sales and specials, peaking with an evening screening of the VHS-era horror clip compilation The VCR That Dripped Blood and the unveiling of a new rental section filled with titles selected by local filmmakers (and lifelong VHS connoisseurs) Megan Griffiths and Lacey Leavitt. But every video store in town deserves a visit. Go, stroll, gawk, and rent while you can. Sometime in the next two decades, some installation artist will make a splash with an amazing 3-D realization of the world’s most amazing Netflix queue. People will be amazed. It will look exactly like a video store. (DAVID SCHMADER)

Mon: (4:45), 7:10* Tue: (4:45), 7:10*^ Wed & Thu: (4:45), 7:10* IN A WORLD... (R) Fri: (4:55)*, 7:20*, 9:25* Sat: (2:35)*, (4:55)*, 7:20*, 9:25* Sun: (2:35)*, (4:55)*, 7:20* Mon - Thu: (4:55)*, 7:20*

Holofcener joint if it did—Enough Said is her warmest movie to date, thanks to the insanely likable Julia Louis-Dreyfus and a great turn from James Gandolfini, in one of his last performances. (ALISON HALLET)

GRAVITY

Parts of Gravity are so incredibly beautiful that I couldn’t do anything but watch with my mouth hanging open, blown away by the amazing spectacle. It opens in the soundless void of outer space. A new, somewhat reluctant astronaut named Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) and a seasoned space walker (George Clooney) are repairing a satellite. Gravity follows Stone as her shuttle (and contact with Mission Control) is destroyed by space debris and she’s forced to try to find a way to safety. Bullock is outstanding, and I say this as someone who doesn’t generally enjoy her work. She’s on-screen for almost the whole movie, and she’s riveting to watch. (PAUL CONSTANT)

HAUTE CUISINE

This film is loosely based on the real-life story of Danièle Delpeuch, personal cook for French president François Mitterrand and the first female chef in the Élysée Palace. Hortense Laborie couldn’t be more surprised when the president picks her to be his personal chef, wanting her to cook the regional food of his childhood. To do her job, she must navigate the rigid conventions of the palace and the prejudices of the male chefs, while also creating great food and pleasing the president’s palate. Actor Catherine Frot is a worthy lead, but regrettably there is little context for her character’s work or personality. What should be an interesting and hunger-inducing story winds up flat as a crepe. (GILLIAN ANDERSON)

INEQUALITY FOR ALL

There two ways of dealing with the deep decline of America’s middle class: One is to restore the policies and institutions that supported it in the past (labor unions, regulated banks, progressive taxes). The other is to invent completely new or futuristic modes of economic life (reducing working hours, transforming leisure from something you do to recover from work to something you do for itself, transforming private banking into a public utility).

The famous economist Robert Reich, the subject of this rather dry documentary and the former member of Clinton’s inner circle, clearly holds the former position—he wants to go back to the good old days, the days when America was all about building a large and stable middle class. As a consequence, the documentary (which has lots of facts and graphs) deals with the real problem of growing inequality in America in a way that’s unsatisfying. The real solutions to this problem are not found in the current and past structures/institutions of American democracy, but outside of it.

(CHARLES MUDEDE)

MACHETE KILLS

There are moments in Machete Kills that are as weirdly funny as the comedies of an in-his-prime David Zucker. Machete’s inventive ways of killing faceless goons get more and more

elaborate, until there’s no way to interpret them as anything but parody. The plot never takes itself seriously, which is often a blessing. Rodriguez surrounds the mostly silent Trejo with a bunch of actors who seem excited to say lines at him like “You know Mexico. Hell, you are Mexico,” and “Consider this the Swiss Army Knife of machetes, Machete,” and “Motherfucker, I’m not asking. I’m the President of the United States!” There are goofy-looking missiles aimed at Washington, DC, a luchador-mask-wearing man wielding a sci-fi ray gun, split-personality drug lords with bombs wired to their heartbeats, and a bunch of scantily clad prostitutes (led by a scenery-chewing Sofía Vergara) who are armed like a small army and desperate for Machete’s head. Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga show up for a few entertaining minutes, because why not? But this is a movie with no self-control, and so a bad decision rears its ugly head every few minutes. (PAUL CONSTANT)

RUSH

I’m not gonna lie: I hate racing movies. I went into Rush, the based-on-a-true-story Formula One racing movie, with a closed mind. But I’m pleased to report that Rush won me over anyway. James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) is all charm and gorgeousness—the kind of genetically gifted rogue who’s infuriating as hell until the exact moment he needs to pull his shit together, and then he’s a hero. Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl) is a funny-looking Austrian who is as precise and blunt as Hunt is unpredictable and laid-back. The two racers just totally loathe each other. I was sucked in by the film’s hypersaturated 1970s colors, its outrageous fashions, and its great lead performances. But I especially liked that Rush addresses male competitiveness by acknowledging that there’s nothing much to it; sometimes you just meet a guy you can’t stand, and you want to see him branded a loser in front of everybody. That’s always fun to watch. (PAUL CONSTANT)

WE ARE WHAT WE ARE

The question of whether you’ll enjoy We Are What We Are hinges on your appreciation for wild tonal shifts in movies. We Are begins as a slow burner about the Parkers, a religious family with strange customs and an intolerance for outsiders; at first, it feels more akin to Martha Marcy May Marlene than a slasher flick. But as we learn more about the family, the movie slowly loses its mind in spectacular fashion. It’s a well-constructed film. The soundtrack is top-notch. Julia Garner, Ambyr Childers, and Jack Gore are all excellent as the uncomfortably aloof Parker children. As the man who’s slowly making a connection between a series of missing girls and the Parker clan, Michael Parks brings a bemused gravitas that nicely pairs with Bill Sage’s insane Grizzly-Adams-meets-Fred-Phelps paterfamilias. But everything about the movie undergoes a huge transformation partway through. Even the cinematography opens with some pretty, ponderous indie-movie shots of rain falling on leaves before the camera’s growing taste for dead flesh— starting with cuts of pork in a meat grinder, but quickly escalating to a series of dead and dying bodies—pushes things into Grand Guignol territory. (PAUL CONSTANT) Tons

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

For the Week of Oct 16

ARIES (March 21–April 19): This is an indelicate oracle. If you’re offended by the mention of bodily functions in a prophetic context, you should STOP READING NOW. Still here? Okay. I was walking through my neighborhood when I spied an older woman standing over her aged Yorkshire terrier next to a bush. The dog was in discomfort, squatting and shivering but unable to relieve himself. “He’s having trouble getting his business done,” his owner confided in me. “He’s been struggling for 10 minutes.” I felt a rush of sympathy for the distressed creature. With a flourish of my hand, I said, “More power to you, little one. May you purge your burden.” The dog instantly defecated. Shrieking her approval, the woman exclaimed, “It’s like you waved a magic wand!” Now I am invoking my wizardry in your behalf, Aries, although in a less literal way: More power to you. May you purge your psychological burden.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20): “You won’t do it at the right time,” warns writer Kate Moller. “You’ll be late. You’ll be early. You’ll get rerouted. You’ll get delayed. You’ll change your mind. You’ll change your heart. It’s not going to turn out the way you thought it would.” And yet, Moller concludes—are you ready for the punch line?—“it will be better.” In describing your future, Taurus, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Fate may be comical in the way it plays with your expectations and plans, but I predict you will ultimately be glad about the outcome.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): In the coming weeks, you Geminis could be skillful and even spectacular liars. You will have the potential to deceive more people, bend more truths, and even fool yourself better than anyone else. On the other hand, you will also have the knack to channel this same slipperiness in a different direction. You could tell imaginative stories that rouse people from their ruts. You might explore the positive aspects of Kurt Vonnegut’s theory that we tend to become what we pretend to be. Or you could simply be so creative and playful and improvisational in everything you do that you catalyze a lot of inspirational fun. Which way will you go?

CANCER (June 21–July 22): I’m all in favor of you indulging your instinct for self-protection. As a Cancerian myself, I understand that one of the ways you take good care of yourself is by making sure that you feel reasonably safe. Having said that, I also want to remind you that your

mental and emotional health requires you to leave your comfort zone on a regular basis. Now is one of those times. The call to adventure will arrive soon. If you make yourself ready and eager for changes, the changes that come will kick your ass in mostly educational and pleasurable ways.

LEO (July 23–Aug 22): Who exactly do you want to be when you grow up, and what is the single most important experience you need in order to make that happen? What riches do you want to possess when you are finally wise enough to make enlightened use of them, and how can you boost your eligibility for those riches? Which one of your glorious dreams is not quite ripe enough for you to fulfill it, but is primed to be dramatically ripened in the coming weeks? If I were you, Leo, I would meditate on these questions. Answers will be forthcoming.

VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): At an elementary school festival some years ago, I performed the role of the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland . One of my tasks was to ask kids to make a wish, whereupon I sprinkled their heads with magic fairy dust. Some of the kids were skeptical about the whole business. They questioned the proposition that the fairy dust would make their wishes come true. A few were so suspicious that they walked away without making a wish or accepting the fairy dust. Yet every single one of those distrustful kids came back later to tell me they had changed their minds, and every single one asked me to bestow more than the usual amount of fairy dust. They are your role models, Virgo. Like them, you should return to the scene of your doubts and demand extra fairy dust.

LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): “The door to the invisible must be visible,” wrote the surrealist spiritual author Rene Daumal. This describes an opportunity that is on the verge of becoming available to you. The opportunity is still invisible simply because it has no precedents in your life; you can’t imagine what it is. But just recently, a door to that unknown realm has become visible to you. I suggest you open it, even though you have almost no idea what’s on the other side.

SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): In Tim Burton’s film Alice in Wonderland, Alice asks the White Rabbit, “How long is forever?” The talking rabbit replies, “Sometimes, just one second.” That’s an important piece of information for you to keep in mind, Scorpio. It implies that “forever” may not necessarily, in all cases, last until the universe dies out five billion years from now. “Forever” might actually turn out to be one second or 90 minutes or a month or a year or who knows? So how does this apply to your life right now? Well, a situation you assumed was permanent could ultimately change—perhaps much faster than you imagined. An apparently everlasting decree or perpetual

feeling could unexpectedly shift, as if by magic.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): “I need a little language such as lovers use,” wrote Virginia Woolf in her novel The Waves. “I need no words. Nothing neat… I need a howl; a cry.” If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, Sagittarius, Woolf is speaking for you right now. You should be willing to get guttural and primal, to trust the teachings of silence and the crazy wisdom of your body, to exult in the inarticulate mysteries and bask in the dumfounding brilliance of the Eternal Wow. Are you brave enough to love what can’t be put into words?

CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): “I get bored with the idea of becoming a better listener,” writes business blogger Penelope Trunk. “Why would I do that when interrupting people is so much faster?”

If your main goal is to impose your will on people and get things over with as soon as possible, Capricorn, by all means follow Trunk’s advice this week. But if you have other goals—like building consensus, finding out important information you don’t know yet, and winning help from people who feel affection for you—I suggest that you find out how to have maximum fun by being an excellent listener.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): The last time meteorologists officially added a new type of cloud formation to the International Cloud Atlas was 1951. But they’re considering another one now. It’s called “asperatus,” which is derived from the Latin term undulatus asperatus, meaning “turbulent undulation.” According to the Cloud Appreciation Society, it resembles “the surface of a choppy sea from below.” But although it looks rough and agitated, it almost never brings a storm. Let’s make asperatus your mascot for the next few weeks. Aquarius. I suspect that you, too, will soon discover something new under the sun. It may at first look turbulent, but I bet it will mostly just be interesting.

PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): Should you try private experiments that might generate intimate miracles? Yes! Should you dream up extravagant proposals and schedule midnight rendezvous! By all means! Should you pick up where your fantasies left off the last time you got too timid to explore further? Naturally! Should you find out what “as raw as the law allows” actually means? I encourage you! Should you question taboos that are no longer relevant? Most assuredly! Should you burn away the rotting pain with a show of liberated strength? Beyond a doubt! Should you tap into the open secret at the core of your wild beauty! Of course!

Homework: What would be the title of your autobiography? What’s the name of the rock band you’d be in? Testify at freewillastrology.com.

ROOMMATES

stone masssage. Last minute appointments welcome. 14years experience as an LMP. www.broadwaymassage.com Jeff 206-650-0542 All are welcome. $55.00 an hour and 80.00 for 90 minutes.

LAURIE’S

CARS/TRUCKS

MUSIC INSTRUCTION & SERVICES

LEGENDARY PIANIST AVAILABLE

Opened for Jeff Bridges! I’m Richard Peterson, 65 year old composer, arranger, and pianist. I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals. Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You! CD available. Must have a piano.

VERSATILE BASS PLAYER looking for established/working band. Part-time jobs, serious inquiries only.NO hard-rock, heavy metal! www.myspace.com/basstibi

MUSICIANS WANTED

BROTHER JAMES & the Soul-Vation Needs You! Established 60’s Garage/ R&B band with gigs in Dec. Need that missing element -Steve Cropper style guitar. Semi-obscure covers and originals. King Khan & the Shrines, Detroit Cobras, Stax, Motown

WANTED: HARD HITTING ROCK DRUMMER - serialhawk.com

RECORDING/REHEARSAL

ONE SHARED REHEARSAL room @ $220/month including 36hr/month & private closet. Visit wildersoundstudios.com. Located in SODO Seattle. Contact Samantha 425-445-9165. s.wilder@wildersoundstudios.com

I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist.  I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc.  $200/gig.  Covers and originals.  PLEASE CALL 206-325-5271

Thank You!  CD available

BAND REHEARSAL SPACE

1 Shared Rehearsal Room @ $220/month Incl. 36hrs/month & Private closet Visit wildersoundstudios.com Located in SODO Seattle. Contact Samantha 425.445.9165 s.wilder@wildersoundstudio.com

SUPERIOR COURT OF WASHINGTON COUNTY OF KING In re the Parentage of: Callie Jean Sutton, Child, Jeffrey Fosie, Petitioner And Respondent: Cori J. Sutton, Mother TO THE RESPONDENT: CORI J. SUTTON

1. The petitioner has started an action in the above court requesting that there be a determination of parentage. Additional requests, if any, are stated in the petition, a copy of which is attached.

2. You must respond to this summons and petition by filing a written response with the clerk of the court and by serving a copy of your response on the person signing this summons.

If you do not file and serve your written response within 20 days (60 days if you are served outside of the state of Washington) after the date this summons was served on you, exclusive of the date of service, the court may, without further notice to you, enter a default judgment against you ordering the relief requested in the petition. If you serve a notice of appearance on the undersigned person, you are entitled to notice before an order of default may be entered.

3. Your written response to the summons and petition must be on form WPF PS 01.0300, Response to Petition for Establishment of Parentage (RSP). Information about how to get this form may be obtained by contacting the clerk of the court, by contacting the Administrative Office of the Courts at (360) 705-5328, or from the Internet at the Washington State Courts homepage: http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms

4. If this action has not been filed with the court, you may demand that the petitioner file this action with the court. If you do so, the demand must be in writing and must be served upon the person signing this summons. Within 14 days after you serve the demand, the petitioner must file this action with the court, or the service on you of this summons will be void.

5. If you wish to seek the advice of an attorney in this matter, you should do so promptly so that your written response, if any, may be served on time.

6. One method of serving a copy of your response on the petitioner is to send it by certified mail with return receipt requested.

This summons is issued pursuant to RCW 4.28.100 and Superior Court Civil Rule 4.1 of the state of Washington.

Dated: Pro Se Jeffrey Fosie

Signature of Petitioner or Lawyer/WSBA No.

File original of your response with the clerk of the court at: Clerk of the Court King County Superior Court E609, King Co. Courthouse 516 Third Avenue Seattle,

Read bucketloads more (or place your own) online at www.thestranger.com/personals

LA REVE LOVELY

You are very handsome. Me: brown hair, bangs, nose ring, and a purple skirt. Ci vediamo :) When: Sunday, October 13, 2013. Where: La Reve, Queen Anne. You: Man. Me: Woman. #920061

SHANA THE PT IN BALLARD

I sat next to you and your friends 10/11 at Ballard Station Public House. You are a PT-friend is an OT. would like to take you to dinner. You left before could ask you for your number. When: Friday, October 11, 2013. Where: Ballard. You: Woman. Me: Man. #920059

BLUE MARCHING BAND, PUMKING BEER

Saw you at the Pumpking-BeerFestival in Georgetown and you’re amazing.Your blue mohawk is supercute and I love how you play the bass-drum.Where are you going to play next?Would give everything to see you again :)ps. your drumline is the best!!! When: Friday, October 4, 2013. Where: Georgetown. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #920058

JOYLENE? ON THE BUS.

You are just so damned cute. Those freckles...Too bad I am twice your age. You wouldn’t stop staring at me, though. Looked like you wanted to ask me something. If you catch this, feel free to ask anything. When: Thursday, October 10, 2013. Where: 512 Southbound. You: Woman. Me: Man. #920057

ABBA CHIC @DEAD COVER

SHOW

You: Done up as if attending an Abba show (but “anything goes” @ a Dead show, right?) Me: Smiley gent moving tables to give your twirls more space. Come dance @the Olympia Ballroom this Saturday, I’ll buy you a drink. When: Monday, October 7, 2013. Where: Blue Moon. You: Woman. Me: Man. #920056

PUZZLE LADY AT CAPITAL

MALL

You were scoping the puzzles and called me over to ask: “Which one would you get?” You confessed you like puzzles and games on cold, dark winter nights. Let’s play! Warm beverages and games by the wood stove. Call me. When: Monday, September 30, 2013. Where: Capital Mall, Olympia. You: Woman. Me: Man. #920055

LOOKING AT PUZZLES

I left the phone store, and you called me over. “Which puzzle would you get?” We browsed the puzzles. You confessed you like playing games on winter nights. Let’s play! I have a wood stove and floor space to sprawl... When: Monday, September 30, 2013. Where: Game Booth at Capitol Mall. You: Woman. Me: Man. #920054

CURLY-MANED & RADIANT, ETG KRAKT

You: Otherworldly-gorgeous by the dancefloor fan, blonde hair streaming back and closed-eye smile. You were glowing in my eyes, and their FB photos later confirmed. Me: Tall guy wavy hair, front left speaker returning your smiles. Drinks somewhere quieter soon? When: Friday, October 4, 2013. Where: Electric Tea Garden (Krakt). You: Woman. Me: Man. #920053

YOU: MECH ENGINEER FROM MAGNOLIA

We spoke on the Kendall Katwalk trail on Sunday, October 6 and walked down the trail together with my co-worker. I enjoyed the conversation. Up for a bike ride? You on your Jamis. Me on my Pinarello. Signed, Blonde When: Sunday, October 6, 2013. Where: Kendall Katwalk Trail.

2013. Where: Kinkos on 45th in U District/Wallingford. You: Woman. Me: Man. #920047

VERY CROWDED 71(?) SAT.

NIGHT

Heading to u.dist, packed on bus (people chanting go cougs!). You -shaved head, blue hoodie, awesome leather bag - apologized for catching my headphones. I don’t expect a response, just thought you were totally cute & wanted to say so! When: Saturday, September 28, 2013. Where: University tunnel to u.dist.. You: Man. Me: Woman. #920041

DANCE WITH ME AGAIN, MOTEK.

you: Jon. greenish eyes, sculptor, handsome, intelligent, talented. me: Optimistic, i suppose. blueish eyes, purple jeans, Missy Elliot’s. I fell in love with you a little bit. It was young, underdeveloped love, but no less real. Cross my path again. When: Thursday, August 8, 2013.

Where: ETSUKO ICHIKAWA: GLASS PYROGRAPH ON BEACH. You: Man. Me: Woman. #920031

I SAW U

Truckin’ at el Camion Ballard

Sunday 10/13, around 4:00. You: petite, glasses, black hoodie, polka-dot scarf. Me: glasses, greenish-tan hoodie, short hair. I couldn’t help stealing glances. We crossed paths in the parking lot; you left in a white pickup. Share a booth next time?

When: Sunday, Oct 13, 2013.

Where: El Camion, Ballard.

You: Woman.

Me: Man.

SERVER AT BALLARD

LIL’WOODYS regret not talking to you.You are gorgeous and have an amazing smile. would love to take you

BROWN BEAR TOUR... We met after meeting online, Nick you were amazing. It was my birthday and you brought me the best Girl Scout cookie I’ve ever had, we went on a brown bear tour. What happened? I need to see you again..... When: Sunday, May 12, 2013. Where: Seattle brown bear car wash. You: Man. Me: Woman. #920040

SMOKELESS IN SEATTLE

Waterfront Park right before entrance to Public Market Place. You: Man. Me: Woman. #920043

THE FITTEST BOY EVER saw this boy while checking people out online.he was wearing black skinny’s with a checkered shirt and was looking smashing.

THEESATISFACTION @ NECTAR

We flirted, danced, and kissed. You complimented my hair-do. I loved feeling your curly hair. I believe I gave you a wrong number. Tried to correct it, but your phone went dead. Love to see you and hang out again. When: Saturday, August 3, 2013.

SAVAGE LOVE

Tragedies Come in Threes

BY DAN SAVAGE

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we live together. Recently, his ex was killed in a car accident. They were not on good terms, and he often made scathing statements about her. I made the mistake of saying the following several days after her death (after offering him my sympathy on numerous occasions): “I don’t know how to help you grieve in this situation because you didn’t like her.” Obviously, that was a stupid, careless thing to say. I apologized numerous times, and he said that he forgave me. Fast-forward two weeks. We were out having drinks with friends. He disappeared from the bar and wouldn’t answer my calls. I ended up calling a cab and heading home by myself. When I got home, he was there drinking with our roommate and some of his friends who were crashing at our house, including his friend’s wife. I was angry and went to bed. I awoke at 8 a.m. alone and went downstairs, where I found him making out with his friend’s wife on our porch. They were both incredibly drunk. Later, he told me he was still angry about my comment, accused me of hating his ex, and informed me that he spent the entire night venting about me to his friends. I am totally capable of getting over one drunken kiss—everybody makes mistakes. However, I feel like the whole context was incredibly toxic and hurtful, especially him airing our dirty laundry to his friends. I’m not sure if I’m interested in staying with someone who can’t speak to me like an adult when he has an issue, and instead gets scary drunk and makes out with people. I told him that this chick owes me an apology before I can ever even consider getting over it. I asked him to consider quitting drinking. And I asked him to make it clear to his friends what really happened when it came to our interactions over his ex’s passing, so I don’t have to be treated like the bad guy in this situation. Am I being too demanding? Does it seem like our relationship is worth salvaging? We’ve had our ups and downs, but I hope we love each other enough to get past this.

of day, he’ll be able to see that and he’ll apologize and you can rebuild your relationship. Or, you know, not.

My uncle died in a car wreck. I didn’t know him well, but we lived in the same city and he named me executor of his estate. He was single, childless, straight, unmarried, and—as it turns out—pretty kinky. I’ve been looking around online, and some of this stuff in his “playroom” is worth a lot of money. But you can’t haul a $1,000 bondage table out on the lawn for a yard sale (at least not where he lived). So what do you do with a dungeon full of BDSM gear when the owner dies unexpectedly?

Boy De-acquisitioning Sadistic Merch

There’s an adult section on eBay where you can unload the stuff, BDSM, and NaughtyBids.com is a site dedicated to auctioning off pre-owned sex toys and gear. But if you don’t want to do the work (and you don’t care about cashing in on that bondage table), google around a bit, and I bet you’ll find a local BDSM group in your area that would be happy take your late uncle’s gear off your hands.

I’m a gay man in a happy and open marriage. I routinely seek the services of an erotic masseur, a man with whom I have a great client/ service-provider relationship. I found out when booking my next massage with him that he was recently in a car accident with his long-term partner, who died in the hospital. Normally, I’d send flowers and a card. However, due to the nature of our working relationship, I don’t want to extend myself in ways that could be uncomfortable for him. I wouldn’t want to put him in the position of having to explain who I am if the card I sent was read by someone else. Any advice would be appreciated.

Wants To Be Respectful

He’s a sex worker, WTBR, not a moron.

Confused And Concerned About Situation

Let’s review your boyfriend’s behavior: gets drunk, ditches girlfriend, gets completely shitfaced back at shared home, bitches about girlfriend to drunk friends, makes out with another woman—who happens to be married to another friend—while his girlfriend sleeps in the next room, gets caught, blames girlfriend. To me, that looks like someone slamming his hand down on the eject button, i.e., he wants out of this relationship. Which means your willingness to stay in this relationship—if “this chick” comes through with the apology you feel she owes you, if your boyfriend corrects the record and quits boozing—may be irrelevant. Because if your boyfriend wants to dump you but lacks the decency, balls, or self-awareness to end it himself (it’s possible that he may not be consciously aware that he wants out), CACAS, he’ll keep pulling stunts like this until you’ve had enough and you dump him.

I could be wrong, of course, and I’ve been wrong in the past—see “clitoris, location” and “male bisexuality, existence of”—and this is advice not binding arbitration blah blah blah. Maybe his behavior can be attributed to a crazy meltdown reaction to his ex-girlfriend’s death. Clearly, his feelings for his ex were more complicated than he let on. I’m thinking he still had feelings for her, CACAS, and I’m betting that she dumped him. He may have said only shitty things to you about his ex because he thought that’s what you wanted to hear. Reminding him about all of the shit he talked about his ex may have made him angry with himself, and he projected that anger onto you, and now, in the cold/sober light

Backing up: If we were talking about your lawyer or hairstylist or housekeeper—anyone else with whom you had a client/service-provider relationship—you wouldn’t hesitate to send flowers and a card. The only reason you’re hesitating in this case is because you fear outing your masseur as a sex worker. And here’s what’s fucked up about that: You’re assuming that he isn’t already out about doing sex work. You’re assuming that being outed as a sex worker is the worst possible thing that could happen to him (I think your masseur can attest that there are worse things). And—most shockingly—you’re assuming that your masseur is too stupid to cover for himself if he isn’t out about doing sex work and if someone else reads your card and if that person asks who you are. Trust me, should a nosy relative ask him who you are—which is highly unlikely—your masseur has lots of options before he gets around to “a decent and kind guy I sometimes jack off for money.” He can say you’re a friend or an acquaintance or someone with whom he’s worked.

Better to risk a moment of awkwardness with a nosy relative than to fail to acknowledge your masseur’s humanity at a time like this. And that’s what failing to acknowledge his grief amounts to, WTBR: a failure to acknowledge his humanity. Sex workers are subjected to far too much of that by people who don’t see them as fully human. Don’t participate in the dehumanization of sex workers. Send the flowers.

The new magnum Savage Lovecast season starts on October 22 at savagelovecast.com.

mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

University of Washington Research Study Department of Medicine Testosterone & Prostate Study

Men are needed to participate in a study looking at the effects of testosterone on the prostate gland. This study will be conducted at the University of Washington, Seattle. It involves the use of two investigational drugs and a prostate biopsy. The study involves 9 visits over a period of 5 months.

To be eligible you must be: 25-55 years of age, Male, In good health, Not taking medications on a daily basis. Volunteers will be reimbursed for their time and inconvenience for each study visit completed and may be compensated up to  $1,000.

If interested, call 206-616-1818 (volunteer line) and ask for more information about the PROS-2 study. Stephanie Page, MD, PhD; William Bremner, MD, PhD; John Amory, MD, MPH; Daniel Lin, MD

ADOPTION

Devoted, nurturing, loving gay couple looking to adopt first baby into a family offering education, fun, travel, laughter, and unconditional love and support. Call, TEXT, or email anytime about Kyle & Adrian 971-238-9651 or kyleandadrianfamily@gmail.com or visit kyleandadrianadoption.com

Ahh! Time to get *Ahh-thorized* 24/7 Patient Verification

Doctor-Nurse Owned Holistic Center 425-243-2441 or 888.508.5428 Seattle - Issaquah - Ellensburg AdvancedHolisticHealth.org

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We

Be an Egg Donor

Generous compensation. $250 Referral Bonus Call: 206-515-0042 or email: DonorEggBank@pnwfertility.com

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