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NOVEMBER 2025
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WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY’S
Adventures in Newspapering BY WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Welcome to “Team Portland”
T
his just in: 2025 has been a real shit show. Trump’s reign of incompetent terror has already eclipsed the ham-fisted attempts of his first presidency—which was a dictatorship on training wheels. But! There is a weird silver lining here: Thanks largely to the recent thoughtless actions of King Fool, Portland is suddenly feeling itself again. Apparently it took a demented despot to get everybody in Portland back on the same page, following a pandemic and a summer-long series of racial justice protests that caused the city’s millionaire class to lose their got-damned minds. If you’ll remember—and I’ll never forget—the city’s right-leaning business leaders, politicians, and other self-proclaimed “centrists” spent the better part of the early 2020s forming cynical political action committees, writing disparaging op-eds in national publications, concocting slanted push polls, and basically doing everything in their power to convince the world that Portland was a shithole. But now? These same people—including the terminally tone-deaf Oregonian editorial board—suddenly just looooooove Portland again, and are even showing begrudging support for shutting down the city’s ICE facility and protecting immigrants from Trump and his masked kidnappers. The anti-Portland rants have slowed, the tourists (no longer scared for their lives) are returning, and for the first time since before the pandemic, these same millionaires (who love tax breaks more than their grandmothers) are exhibiting a smidgen of civic pride. Okay… so are we supposed to be grateful now? While it’s a slight relief not to be fighting enemies from without and within, there is one truth in the universe: I’m an unforgiving, vengeful bastard when crossed. I will never forget (or forgive) the havoc these wealthy, self-centered “leaders” manufactured and then unleashed on our city. I mean, c’mon… where do you think Trump got the idea to label Portland a “burning hell hole”? It didn’t just pop into his disintegrating mind, it was handed to him on a silver platter, courtesy
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of two straight years of local crybabies and their incessant belly-aching about tax hikes, boarded up windows, houseless people, and any attempts at police reform. It’s so tempting to imagine or hope that these same crybabies have finally recognized the error of their ways—that they are finally ready to “Say Nice Things About Portland” and ask for a kumbaya moment. Unfortunately for them, we’re not so gullible. The same unbridled greed that capitalized on the Portlandia trend of the mid2010s, building unsustainably expensive apartments, thereby forcing artists and creatives into the burbs or completely out of town (or onto the streets) is absolutely still there, bubbling beneath the surface. You see it in misleading headlines disparaging our new 12-person city council. You see it in ridiculous attempts to blame a county commissioner for an attack outside a public library. You see it in Mayor Wilson bowing to the pressure to criminalize houselessness. You see it in the words written by former alternative weeklies that increasingly endorse candidates who lean more to the right than left. You see it in the Portland Metro Chamber’s (FKA Portland Business Alliance) efforts to endanger our city by enabling Zenith to store their explosive oil and fuel next to the waterfront (an environmental disaster waiting to happen when the Big One hits). My point is this: We need to be less worried about the incoherent blatherings and threats of the president, and more alert to the enemies within. Trump will eventually be gone, one way or another. Despots come and go. But the bad actors of capitalism have been working their asses off in Portland since the city was founded, and their greed and self-obsession will remain long after all of us are gone. Don’t let their sudden, lovesick proclamations of “Portland is BACK!” fool you—because it was their actions that got us into this mess in the first place. Keep fighting for your neighbors and Portland. And if a local millionaire is suddenly patting you on the back? Be on the lookout for a knife. ■
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Boredom isn’t an option.
NOVEMBER 2025
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THE TRASH REPORT
H
BY ELINOR JONES
2025: THE YEAR IN TRASH
ello, Trash Pandas! It’s me, Elinor Jones, with a special end-of-the-year Trash Report. This year certainly was something, wasn’t it? To put it in perspective, when the year began, Joe Biden was still the president (remember him?!), and Blake Lively was just entering into litigation with former costar Justin Baldoni stemming from alleged sexual harassment on the set of the movie It Ends With Us. Were we ever so young? This has been a long-ass year filled with some truly awful events, but just as we must rest our screen-addled eyes by occasionally going outside (or switching screens), we must also turn our focus from the horrors to enjoy some low-stakes trash. Gather round, my precious dummies, for I do not have anything stressful for you to read.
Trash of the Year
The hottest trash of 2025 has gotta be any rubble from the destroyed East Wing of the White House. I am honestly kinda shocked that Trump didn’t spray paint the historic chunks of masonry gold and auction it off to the highest bidder—but since he didn’t, that leaves the opportunity open for some plucky Virginian who’s got time to comb through the demolition fragments at the dump. This could be a lucrative option for any of the thousands of Federal workers whose jobs were eliminated by the evil empire. It’s like they always say, “when life gives you trash, make tchotchkes out of it that you can sell to earnest liberals.”
How is that even possible? Neither independently hold any mystique, like—at all—but together they somehow become interesting. 1+1 = 100 and it makes no damn sense! These boring people intrigue me deeply!! They are the couple that Tom Cruise and Ana de Armas wanted to be, but their ick was imbalanced, whereas Justin and Katy’s align perfectly.
Conspiracy of the Year
much less fun. I suppose we shall wait and see. The only thing I can for sure predict about the next season is that we should not watch it on an airplane.
Basic Bitch of the Year
It was around this time last year that Luigi Mangione killed the United Healthcare CEO in broad daylight, becoming an instant celebrity and bonafide heartthrob (even though, to be clear, murder is bad). Recent news has emerged that, not only is he beloved in his New York jail, but his fellow prisoners/besties enjoy ribbing him for listening to Taylor Swift and Charli xcx. While CU Y I feel like it would be depressing RT I S ME ANS - GETT to listen to songs about getting dicked down by a football star, or hoovering drugs at the club while incarcerated, I appreciate Mangione telling the girlies what they want to hear.
In semi-related news, Kim Kardashian is now claiming that NASA faked the moon landing, a decision that she allegedly came to based on extensive “TikTok research.” So. This is a dumb thing to say. But also, there is no way that Kim believes this. Say what you will about her, but the woman is not an idiot. Y PA TT SC GE AL LE SEGRETAIN My conspiracy theory about her conspiracy theory is that SHE This might be controversial, but it’s Justin ALSO WANTS TO GO TO SPACE. Like Trudeau and Katy Perry. Hang on, hang Katy Perry did, but better. Kim is claiming on… hear me out! Isn’t it weird how both that nobody went to the moon because she of them are punching above their weight? intends to go to the moon, and I think she’s
Couple of the Year
gonna get NASA to send her there for free. Now it makes sense why Kim wasn’t on the Bezos girlboss spaceship to nowhere: Kim is extra, and she wants more than a cheesy zero-gravity photo op, and she is going to get it. Mark my words, Skims will be selling astronaut suits by 2027.
Heist of the Year
Speaking of crime, I think the Louvre robbery will be forever beloved for its brazenness and simplicity*. We all learned a very important lesson, which is that those glass cases in museums really are as breakable as they look, and any rando can get close to priceless artifacts, and the British Museum might want to do a little soul-searching before their stolen shit starts walking out the door or down a ladder truck. *I could also see this being one of those things that is huge for about three weeks and then, in like May of next year, we’ve completely forgotten it happened, because all of our brains are deeply damaged.
Trash TV of the Year
The pitch meeting went like this: “Desperate Housewives, but Texas.” “Mmm, no.” “They’re rich conservatives!” “Boring.” “They’re also devious lesbians?” “NOW we’re talking!” Or so I like to imagine. The summer hit Hunting Wives shot off like a rifle (that is in no way a metaphor for something else) into our hearts and other areas. The show technically stars Malin Ackerman and Brittany Snow as two gal pals whose shirts keep falling off, but the true stars of the show are the terrible wigs all the actors wear. This adds to the trash factor in a way that not even the excessive close-ups of moaning women can pull off. Season 2 is about to start shooting, and I’m worried the show’s popularity will score it better-fitting wigs, which would make it
ASUP DIA DIP
IL- G
ET
TY
Breakup of the Year
Lily Allen and David Harbour split up after five years of marriage, and I didn’t have a lot of interest in it until she released her latest album, West End Girl. It is one of the juiciest, meanest breakup albums of all time. While I don’t wish such a messy breakup on anyone, I am glad that it happened, because now we get to listen to a song called “Pussy Palace” while we’re grocery shopping.
Song of the Year
“Pussy Palace,” obviously. Honorable mention: “Golden” from K-Pop Demon Hunters. This song has been stuck in my head for five months. I don’t remember not remembering it. I don’t even remember deciding it should get the honorable mention. It is simply part of me now.
Numbers of the Year
6 7. I don’t get it either. But hopefully by me writing about it, this dumb thing the children say will cease to become cool, and we can count to 10 in peace again. We can’t keep jumping from 5 to 8 or saying that dinner will be ready at a half-dozen.
City of the Year
Congratulations, Portland, for being the best city of the year, every year. We got our name dragged through the mud, but it’s gorgeously united us, and reminded all of us why this place is so special. Sure, we may be bad at driving, and many of us will randomly yield for a pedestrian who is jaywalking, which only confuses the pedestrian and all the other cars, and ultimately makes everyone less safe, although it still seems like the right thing to do and we’ll do it again, but we’ve got spirit, and it’s amazing what we can do even though it’s rainy and we’re depressed. Thank you for reading, for caring, for making it to 2026. I’ll be so happy to see you there. Love,
8 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
Meet the Groups Helping Immigrants Impacted by ICE
A statewide rapid response network alerts communities about immigration enforcement and more. BY ABE ASHER
TASOS KATOPODIS-GETTY
ICE agents arrest a man for unknown reasons in Washington, DC.
I
f people in the Portland area think they’ve spotted ICE, there’s a number that many organizations, such as the ACLU, suggest they call: the Portland Immigrant Rights Coalition hotline. The Portland Immigrant Rights Coalition (PIRC) was founded two decades ago by a group of activists and became an independent nonprofit organization in 2021, but since Donald Trump came into office promising a mass deportation campaign, the coalition’s hotline has kicked into high gear. “We’ve seen a huge increase in the number of reports of ICE activity since the change of administration—and while some of that is related to folks knowing about us, there’s unquestionably been a huge escalation in terms of ICE enforcement across
Oregon,” Natalie Lerner, a spokesperson for PIRC, said. Lerner said over the month of September, the PIRC hotline has received more than 700 calls—some of which have come from people reporting possible ICE activity, while others have come from people looking for resources or information about their rights. The increase in calls to the PIRC hotline comes with many in the state on edge about the presence of immigration enforcement officials and broader threats against Portland. While Oregon has not yet seen the scale of ICE activity that other states are dealing with, there have been signs that activity could be scaled up: ICE began detaining migrants outside of immigration court
hearings over the summer, and the Trump administration has tried, and so far failed, to deploy federal troops to the city. “The racial profiling has gotten stronger,” Amber Rose, a staff organizer with the Rural Organizing Project based in the Columbia River Gorge, said. “We’re getting more people questioned simply because they’re speaking Spanish.” PIRC’s hotline is designed to help protect communities against the federal threat. PIRC is connected through the immigrant justice organization Oregon for All to a network of rapid response organizations across the state that have trained people on how to verify the veracity of reported ICE activity, support people who are being detained, connect with legal support, and provide legal observation.
The verification work in particular, Lerner said, is key. “We shouldn’t spread fear and panic,” Lerner said. “There is already so much fear in immigrant communities ... we really care about not spreading unsubstantiated rumors.” If PIRC is able to confirm that ICE has detained a resident, their next step is often to contact attorneys with the Equity Corps of Oregon (ECO) to try to find legal representation as quickly as possible. Jess Montoya, the network director for Oregon for All, illustrated how effective this network can be: When a group of people were detained in the Woodburn area several months ago, local rapid responders were on the scene collecting information about the detentions and liaising with
NOVEMBER 2025
ECO attorneys in just 20 minutes. “We need to respond quickly, and support folks who are actually being detained as fast as possible with as many tools as we can use,” Lerner said. Speed is of the essence, both because the rapid response networks want to support the families of people who have been detained, but also in part because PIRC wants to get detainees legal representation before they are transferred from the Portland area to the Northwest ICE Processing Center in Tacoma, further away from their support networks. The question of whether PIRC may alert the wider community to ICE’s presence at a
been used in a variety of ways. Participating organizations are also able to apply for further, supplementary grants of between $5,000 and $20,000. The individual organizations in the network bring their own particular histories to an increasingly coordinated, statewide effort to stand up to the excess of ICE. The Hood River Latino Network, for instance, first organized its rapid response infrastructure in 2017—and Rose said that experience has helped communities in the Gorge look out for each other this year. “One of the things that have shifted here in the last ten years—I know, because I’ve lived here for 25 years—is the way people
“Sometimes, just having eyes on ICE can make ICE go away. Because ICE, even though they have these horrible brazen tactics, they ultimately do not like to be filmed.” - Natalie Lerner particular location depends on several factors, including the wishes of the detainee and the location where ICE activity is taking place—if immigration officers are confirmed at a person’s home, PIRC’s practice is to safeguard the person’s privacy by not sharing the address publicly. In other instances, the decision about whether to disseminate information about where ICE is operating may have to do with the organization’s capacity. “We are still a small, primarily volunteer-run team, and our focus has to be directly supporting the folks who are experiencing detention—and when that’s our focus, that also means we’re not immediately able to publish everything about it,” Lerner said. Still, Lerner said, it never hurts to watch or record ICE activity, particularly prior to when a detention has been made. “Sometimes, just having eyes on ICE can make ICE go away,” Lerner said. “Because ICE, even though they have these horrible brazen tactics, they ultimately do not like to be filmed. That’s part of why they wear masks, part of why they operate in sneaky ways, like in unmarked cars—it’s not just to trick people, but to avoid people monitoring them.” PIRC is only one node of a statewide rapid response network that has been strengthened during Trump’s second term. PIRC is part of the Oregon for All rapid response network—a collection of roughly 20 organizations that do rapid response work in their respective communities throughout the state. Montoya said Oregon for All’s founding leaders began to develop plans for the network in May of last year, when it appeared Trump was well-positioned to retake the White House, and launched it in February—drawing on the legacy of One Oregon coalition, as well as other immigrant defense groups like CHIRLA in Los Angeles. All of the organizations that are part of the Oregon for All rapid response network have received $15,000 grants to bolster their operations, which Montoya said have
have come together and gotten to know one another, and showed up in mutual aid ways that include immigration, but go far beyond that,” Rose said. Now, however, there is a renewed urgency in ICE response work. Montoya said Oregon for All has been working with its organizational partners over the last several weeks to develop a crisis response plan for a potential surge in federal antagonism. “This is something that is unprecedented, so we’re kind of building it as we go,” Montoya said. What is clear to organizers across the region is that people are interested in aiding rapid response efforts: Lerner said PIRC has trained hundreds of ICE legal observers in the Portland area, while hundreds more are part of ICE Watch. Rose said she believes there may be more than a thousand trained rapid responders in the Gorge. Rose said the interest extends to people who may not be able to respond to calls frequently or at all, but still want to know best practices and share information with their communities. “We want people to be educated and know how to protect one another,” Rose said. “All of us want to get up, get through the day, and come home at the end of the evening to our beds and to our families.” ■
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10 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
THE BLACK BYLINE
A 10-Year-Old (Forgotten) Emergency In 2015 a Renters’ State of Emergency was declared. Ten years later, Oregon has its highest eviction levels in history. BY DONOVAN SCRIBES (FKA DONOVAN M. SMITH)
“R
EMEMBER: DIKES ARE SAFE AT PRESENT. YOU WILL BE WARNED IF NECESSARY. YOU WILL HAVE TIME TO LEAVE. DON’T GET EXCITED.” —Housing Authority of Portland (present day Home Forward), May 30, 1948 notice to Vanport residents.
THE STORM
The ground was eroding beneath Portlanders. Yet another rent increase. An eviction notice is on the door. The reasons varied. The outcomes, the same. The stew of bad policy decisions that had been bubbling in the housing market for years were now overflowing. A government and corporate-made monsoon. Homelessness was everywhere. The crowd of tenants and housing advocates who convened at Peninsula Park was electric. They were about to put the city on notice—the tipping point was here: A Renters’ State of Emergency was declared. The year was 2015. A simple slate of demands was unveiled as part of the declaration: rent control, a temporary moratorium on no-cause evictions, and mandatory relocation assistance should someone be evicted due to unreasonable price gouging. And yet a decade later, in 2025, Oregon is experiencing the highest eviction levels in its history—so what happened? While numerous hard-fought victories emerged from this campaign (also known as the Renters’ SoS) over the years, they were only partially enacted by local governments. Since then—from front porch stoops, to soaring speeches from electeds of all stripes—Oregon’s housing woes continue to be on the tip of all tongues across the state. Many well-intentioned plans have been rolled out in the years since, and with varying outcomes. But it’s clear today, something ’s not working.
THE BEFORE
To be fair, this is not all Oregon’s fault. Visible homelessness in the United States used to be rare. In fact, it was far more of an outlier until the 1980s. While the federal government didn’t begin keeping systemic data and stats on housing until the mid-’80s, academic and scholarly records before then indicate that housing was not nearly the issue it’s become today. Manufactured ghettos, slumlording, and
PHOTO COURTESY WHITE HOUSE PHOTO COLLECTION; ILLUSTRATION BY CHAR HARRIS
During Ronald Reagan’s eight-year tenure, housing programs through HUD were slashed by billions. vagrancy laws ran amuck, but the type of corner-to-corner homelessness that’s engulfing cities across America today wasn’t nearly so widespread. Enter president number 40. The years of so-called “Reaganomics” (which were apparently so sweet, every state but Minnesota voted to continue them for a second term) were marked by unprecedented industry deregulation, and increased military spending (see: the War on Drugs). During Ronald Reagan’s eight-year tenure, housing programs through HUD were slashed by billions, a whopping 75 percent. The housing program’s budget had dropped from around $32.2 billion in fiscal year 1978 (three years before he took office) to $9.8 billion by the end of Reagan’s last term in 1988. Mind you, we are talking billions… with a “B”… like Bezos. Simultaneously, the administration’s military spending skyrocketed by 64 percent to the tune of billions more. Reaganomics trickled down to states across America, pummeling social services and safety nets, including within Oregon. That said, the state did find money to pour into urban redevelopment projects, which would say, “reimagine” the Pearl District, or rev-up police “crackdown”
operations in Albina after a couple decades of demolishing more than a billion dollars of wealth from the hub of Oregon’s small, but textured Black community with a freeway and feckless eminent domain use. By the end of the 1980s, Reagan had apparently fulfilled his campaign promise to “Make America Great Again”. Oregon never refilled those funding gaps.
THE ALARM
I was hired by Oregon’s only statewide renters’ rights organization to helm their communications about a year into COVID. After bouncing around the city a bit myself, the pandemic made clear I needed to figure out some full-time wage security, as I was closing out the latter end of my 20s. Extra motivation came from courting my current partner, when I realized I’d need job security of some sort if she was going to take me seriously. Along with being meaningful, the job was a serious godsend after years of piecemealed contract work. When I came aboard, then-Governor Kate Brown had already ordered a statewide eviction moratorium, alongside a host of other critical tenant protections that helped thousands of people stay housed through it all. But 2015 was looming underneath.
That “emergency” declaration had never been lifted. As the pandemic raged on, and tenant protections were set to expire, I was helping lead efforts pressuring Gov. Brown to call a Special Session to preserve the laws. These efforts included calling a press conference alongside staff and members in front of the state capitol to put an exclamation point on the direness of the situation. Shortly thereafter, the Governor did listen and call for a session, and some “Safe Harbor” laws were extended. However, as the pandemic waned in summer 2022, major renter protections faded as well. Normal was back. Again, the ground began to shift. Evictions in every county across Oregon once again began to skyrocket. More than 2,000 eviction notices were being filed each month. Since 2022, according to Evicted in Oregon, that’s equated to more than 89,000 evictions. And these numbers don’t even include those who “selfevicted,” due to price hikes, unsafe living conditions, or otherwise. A study by Portland State University published during COVID provided an even more startling statistic. It estimated that more than 125,000 Oregon households were at risk of eviction as those pandemic-era protections came to an end, cost-
NOVEMBER 2025
ing the state as much as $4.7 billion. Each year continues to bring us closer to these numbers becoming reality. Conversely, the National Alliance to End Homelessness, a non-partisan group founded in the 1980s, estimates it would cost around just $9.6 billion to house every person staying in shelters across the country right now. The repeated talking point of “too many taxes” has been given as the top reason some of Oregon’s highest earners have left the area—but not nearly the same airtime has been given to a more troubling truth: the average Black family can’t afford a two-bedroom apartment today in Portland, the state’s biggest city. Black Oregonians are also being evicted at the highest rates in the state right now. Now, that is a hell of a full circle moment for a state that once constitutionally banned Black people from living here. That said, the so-called “White Utopia” that the state’s founders dreamed of isn’t shaking out too hot either. Today, more than half of Oregonians can’t afford the cost of living. Many faces color the growing fragments of Oregon’s housing crisis today: A third-generation NE Portlander who, after a divorce, saw her income split in half, struggles to keep up with the rent in a house where love once lived. A Salembased elder, who faithfully paid his bills month-after-month for more than a decade, blindsided by a rent hike of a hundred dollars, squeezing his fixed income in a way never imagined. A mother in Southern Oregon, whose house burned down in the 2020 Alameda Fires, must cross the language barrier to pick up the pieces. A veteran in Bend, in housing for servicemen and women, is forced to find a new home when his complex is sold to a new owner. This is Oregon. The water is rising. Yes, certain strides have been made. In Oregon’s three most populous counties, a housing bond was passed by voters in 2018 generating $652 million that’s on track to create about 5,600 affordable homes in the area before the turn of the next decade. In November 2022, Brown’s successor, Gov. Tina Kotek—who narrowly defeated her Republican challenger, Christine Drazan (and will probably face a 2026 rematch)—put forth an ambitious plan to build on these gains during her campaign, promising to construct 36,000 units of housing every year. That promise marked an increase of about 10,000 more units than Oregon had previously produced annually. However, since then, that goal has not been met—with merely 13,000 residential permits being pulled last year, it marks the lowest number of newly produced housing units during her tenure. The goal, however, remains noble. But any good builder knows this basic truth—foundations matter. The majority of evictions being served in Oregon are for non-payment. Simply put: they can’t afford to pay their rent. In short, Oregon is evicting more people that can’t afford their rent than its building units to affordably house others feeling the strain of The Market™. That’s hustling backwards. This past legislative session, Gov. Kotek
unveiled her Eviction Prevention Package that would have essentially sustained current levels of service across government and community-based partners across the state. The package funded, amongst other services: two community-based renters’ rights hotlines, statewide rent assistance, and know-your-rights trainings for tenants. Despite a supermajority of Democrats in both the House and Senate, the package was gutted by 75 percent. This practically guarantees that, going into 2026, Oregon will continue to shatter eviction ceilings. The water is rising. On Memorial Day, 1948, residents of what was once Oregon’s second biggest city, Vanport, were sent an early morning notice by the local housing authority. The rain was unrelenting, and the water was rising along the Columbia River that surrounded it. Their message: “REMEMBER: DIKES ARE SAFE AT PRESENT. YOU WILL BE WARNED IF NECESSARY. YOU WILL HAVE TIME TO LEAVE. DON’T GET EXCITED.”
The average Black family can’t afford a two-bedroom apartment in Portland. By nightfall, the entire town flooded and disappeared, never to be rebuilt again. Thousands were displaced, and more than a dozen killed. At present, little marks the site where the hastily built war-time city once stood, but today its stories pulse through the few remaining, aging survivors (who were children then). An avoidable disaster. A lesson for today. When folks declared a Renters’ State of Emergency in 2015, urgency undergirded a horizon of hope. And despite tireless advocacy, that hope is being sledgehammered daily with every notice on a door, and every person sleeping in a car being told, “you can’t be here.” The water is rising. Today, I now own a house with the woman I pursued all those years ago. It’s on a hill. But not on the West Side—rather The Numbers. I do well enough to take trips, and buy my kids unnecessary plastic things. I order more takeout than I should. We still budget. We are now, the mythological middle class, I guess. But, I am the exception, not the rule. The least our state could continue to offer in terms of security is fully-funded rental assistance. And, yes, I know the beneficiaries of a number of newly built apartments, and am happy they’re housed. All is not in vain. But the ground can carry the weight of a system of incremental care no longer… The ground is sinking! The water is rising! The dikes are broken! Turn on the sirens. Oregon—wake up— the Renters’ State of Emergency is now! ■
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12 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
Make an impact close to home. Volunteer at a SOLVE cleanup, support local recycling efforts, or donate to keep our communities thriving.
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NOVEMBER 2025
13
Street View
The Art of Riding in the Rain BY TAYLOR GRIGGS
R
iding your bike in the rain can suck. Still, it’s very possible to maintain your bike commute during the rainy months, and there are a lot of good reasons to do it. The benefits of biking for transportation—avoiding parking hassles and fees, bypassing traffic, saving gas money, helping the environment, moving your body, etc.—remain the same no matter what time of year it is. Plus, fresh air is good for the winter blues. But you’ve got to come prepared. Here are my tips for what you need to convert from fair weather cyclist to year-round commuter.
Non-negotiables:
You don’t need a bunch of fancy and expensive gear to ride a bike. But there are some things you really do need to have if you’re going to survive a winter bike commute. (You can get most of this stuff secondhand, whether it’s at the Community Cycling Center, the basement of Next Adventure, Facebook Marketplace, or whatever thrift store you fancy.) First thing ’s first: You need fenders, and you need them on both your front and rear tires. Are they going to completely prevent you from getting splashed? No, but they’ll limit the damage, and they also ensure the people riding behind you don’t get sprayed with puddle water and mud. People act like it’s a huge hassle to deal with fenders every year, but guess what? You’re allowed to just keep them on in the summer. Problem solved. You’ll also require proper footwear to keep your feet relatively dry. Everyone in Portland wears Blundstones. I like Sorel boots, which are a little less expensive (and sold at the Columbia employee store, if you have a pass). But whatever you choose, look for a properly thick sole (with enough traction to keep your feet on the pedals), a well-insulated lining, and quality stitching so water doesn’t seep in through the sides. If your socks get wet, you are immediately 10 times more likely to have a public meltdown, so keep that in mind. When it comes to rain jackets, look for ventilation. Biking in the pouring rain is a much worse experience when you’re also sweating. I recommend a relatively light rain jacket with room for a sweater underneath, and ventilation zippers to let the air in. You can’t go wrong with local brand Showers Pass, but their products are admittedly pricey. (Cleverhood is another good choice for bike-friendly rainwear.) Whatever jacket you choose, just make sure it at least pretends to be water resistant. When a fleece or denim jacket (even
FOX PHOTO/GETTY IMAGES
with sherpa lining) gets soaking wet, the coat becomes less of an object providing warmth, and more of a miserable burden to carry around. Wool is better, but it won’t hold up in bad squalls, and it takes a long time to dry. You’re better off with GORE-TEX or nylon.
You don’t need a bunch of fancy, expensive gear to ride a bike. But there are some things you really need if you’re going to survive a winter bike commute. (Note: Wearing a jacket hood almost always means sacrificing crucial peripheral vision. Some companies claim their jacket hoods don’t have this problem, but that’s a lie. A beanie will keep your ears warm, and you can get a rain cover for your helmet. Some people also like those little cloth cycling caps with the short bills. In
my opinion, those don’t do much, but they do make you seem like a legit bicyclist who knows what they’re doing, and that’s worth something for some people.) Bike lights are the last absolute musthave product. Rain reduces visibility for everyone, even during the day. Lights will help you see and be seen. Plus, you’ll need them for commuting home when it gets dark at 4:30 pm. My advice: Buy a few sets of inexpensive lights and keep them around. Don’t get too attached to any one light, because it’s pretty much inevitable it’ll get lost or stolen. And remember to charge them!
A few more tips:
You won’t melt in the rain, but your stuff might get ruined if it gets wet. Avoid such a tragedy with dry bags, which have a very favorable peace of mind-to-cost ratio. The best combination is a relatively waterproof backpack/pannier/messenger bag with a couple dry bags inside. Keep every plastic bag you get for the rest of time. They are very helpful for winter cyclists. You can tie one around your bike seat if you have to leave it parked outside in the rain. You can put your wet clothes in them. You can wrap
them around your shoes if you didn’t follow my earlier advice about footwear. It’s good to have a stash. If your socks get wet on the way to work (or wherever) and you don’t have a dry pair, consider your day ruined. Keep an extra pair somewhere to prevent this nightmare scenario from coming true. If you insist on wearing canvas shoes, you might want to carry around some dry shoes, too. If it’s raining hard, don’t bother with gloves if they’re not waterproof. They’ll get drenched and make you even colder. The only gloves that really keep your hands dry are heavy-duty winter mittens that you’d wear skiing. If it’s too rainy or cold, there’s no shame in dragging your bike on the bus or the MAX. It may seem scary to put your bike on the front rack of a bus, but it’s actually easy, and the bus driver will usually be patient while you figure it out. This is a nonexhaustive list. As you get accustomed to riding in the rain, you’ll figure out your own tricks and habits. Remember: car companies want you to think you’re not tough so you’ll buy their vehicles with heated seats and sequester yourself off from the world. You don’t need that stuff. I believe in you. ■
14 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
The Mercury’s Great Big
GIFT GUIDE Our writers weigh in on what your gift recipients actually want—no Amazon required. BY MERCURY STAFF H ILLUSTRATIONS BY TERESA GRASSESCHI
S
easoned giftgivers know that the best presents are spotted spontaneously, months before the holidays kick in and chain retail stores become outlets for psychological warfare. But allow us to suggest an alternative method: this gift guide, which will neither link to Amazon nor recommend you buy your dad a meat thermometer. In fact, you’ll find nearly everything listed right here in town—maybe even on your side of the river. Let’s shop!
SOMETHING TO SQUEEZE NeeDoh Nice Cube
The NeeDoh Nice Cube is like if a stress ball was cube-shaped and felt like the best thing you’ve ever felt in your life. I got mine at The Yo Store in September and have spent the months since proselytizing about its wonders. Everyone needs one of these things. When you are holding it in your hand, everything in the world begins to feel okay. They come in several sizes and colors, and if you’re buying one for a friend or your
kid or whatever, just go ahead and buy one for yourself, too. I know, I know—nobody needs more plastic crap lying around. But if you ever feel like you don’t know what to do with your hands, or you just need to squeeze something, you actually do kinda need this. Get your hands on it and you’ll thank me later. (In addition to several small businesses in Portland, Nice Cubes should be available at your local Barnes and Noble or Walgreens.) TAYLOR GRIGGS
A Strawberry Dildo
Since sexual fun and health are such important parts of life, WHY ARE YOU GIVING YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVERS STUPID CANDLES? Wake up, smell the coffee, and get your sexy butt over to She Bop, Portland’s fave sex toy shop. Specializing in body-safe toys, education, and sex positivity, She Bop has the sensual stuff you (or anyone else) needs, regardless of how you identify. Vibrators, anal toys, masturbation helpers, lubes, books, games, and so much more can be found here, but let’s pause for a moment to con-
sider a strawberry-embossed dildo. In case you haven’t noticed, strawberries are the current fad du jour, and cute as fuck. So why not give your fun lovin’, sexy pal (or grandma… hey, I don’t judge) a seven-inch silicone dong with a suction cup base (compatible with most harnesses) that is ALSO covered with adorable strawberries? Of course, there are so many different styles, sizes, and shapes at She Bop. But at only $40, the strawberry dildo is reasonably priced, and may become the most beloved item in your sex pal’s arsenal (AKA bedside table drawer). WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
NOVEMBER 2025
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SMART GIFTS FOR DUMB TIMES The Expensive Gift That Says This Is Also for Your Birthday and Graduation
Publications by Incarcerated Writers from Some People Press
2026 Calendars That Say “I for One Welcome the Unstoppable March of Time”
Cinephile Merch From Human Boy Worldwide
While this is a deeply subjective category, Criterion’s Wes Anderson Archive is both in it and on the wishlists of many Fantastic Mr. Fox-lovin’ folks in this town. Even if the Anderson fan in your fam already has the auteur director’s catalog on physical media, this beautiful boxset comes with 25 HOURS of supplemental extras. (Everyone who loves director commentary just looked into the camera and raised their brows in surprise.) But do 10 remastered movies—Asteroid City and The Phoenician Scheme will presumably be in the next boxset—packaged like retro ledgers equal the holiday, Valentine’s, birthday, graduation, and housewarming gifts exchanged to receive them? Big YMMV energy. The approximately $500 suggested retail price of this treasure places it firmly in the company of a Le Creuset dutch oven or one-of-a-kind vintage trinket from Oko. SUZETTE SMITH
New year calendars are both useful gifts and something the receiver has to put up on their wall, meaning you’ll glow in your own thoughtfulness whenever you visit them. If you choose to gift one made by a local artist, that can only compound your magnanimous renown. Portland is chock full of spots to pick up artsy goods, like shops Secret Room Press and Hi Books, and pop-up market Crafty Wonderland. Art calendar hustle pioneer Nicole J. Georges’ Emotional Support Animals are always worth a look; they pair her smart paintings of animals with worldly wisdom. Erika Rier’s gorgeous creatures tromp across our corkboards every year and will brighten the desks of little monsters in your life. Raf Spielman’s illustration-a-day pad for Paddler’s Coffee in Tokyo is a seasonal brick of ingenuity made to last all year. SS
The prison reform advocate in your life wants to know about Some People Press. Founded by Agnès Varda Forever co-creator/Portland State University professor Laura Glazer and Harrell Fletcher, the artist-founder of PSU’s Art and Social Practice MFA program, the small press is a local effort. They publish autobiographies by currently and formerly incarcerated writers, plus art books and other curiosities. Glazer and Fletcher have facilitated a writing and publishing workshop at Northeast Portland’s Columbia River Correctional Institution since 2022, offering encouragement and structured feedback to participants. The resulting works are keenly observed, revealing, and important reading. Browse Some People Press’ online catalog of books with beautifully designed covers, or thumb through them in person at Buckman’s Up Up Books. LINDSAY COSTELLO
For the person in your life whose personality would best be described as “movies,” Human Boy Worldwide offers a collection of peak cinephile apparel. Dad hats and cotton tees display a broad but lovingly chosen palette of films and directors—the company’s taste swings from Korean director Hong Sang-soo’s quiet work to the output of Clint Eastwood’s Malpaso Productions. For lovers of animal cinema, buy tees for Au hasard Balthazar (sad donkey movie, 1966) and Ishtar (1987), the latter emblazoned with a cartoon camel. Or find an all-white Party Girl (Parker Posey showcase, 1995) hat that can be switched out with an all-black Salò (nightmare, 1975) hat, depending on mood. I can personally vouch for the extremely blue Blue Collar (1980) tee, which advertises both my anti-corporate values and admiration for Paul Schrader’s film, as well as the hat celebrating Robert Altman’s 3 Women (1977). DS
The Future of Truth by Werner Herzog Werner Herzog, iconic director and overly memeified 83-year-old, has made almost as many films as years he’s been alive. Crossing the porous boundaries between documentary and fiction, Herzog’s work has been obsessed with the search for truth, often to the detriment of facts. Quotes, history, whole people—in even his so-called “documentaries,” Herzog’s made up a lot. “I just don’t think truth is some polestar in the sky that we will one day get to,” he states in his new book, The Future of Truth, translated from German by Michael Hofmann. “It’s more like an incessant striving.” The book is Herzog’s “uncertain journey” through this “post-truth era,” collecting essays on the sore spots of our negotiable reality—fake news, AI anxiety, Japanese families-for-hire, Elon Musk’s limited imagination—and his primordial quest for “ecstatic truth,” all with plenty of fascinating anecdotes and the warm, easy eloquence of a lifelong bullshitter. DOM SINACOLA
ACTUALLY COOL SUBSCRIPTIONS AND MEMBERSHIPS Mississippi Records Community Supported Records Subscription
Mississippi Records, the record store, is the best record store on the planet. Mississippi Records, the record label, is one of the best record labels on the planet. And though they’re no longer one and the same, they’re still deeply in cahoots, pressing only the choicest cuts to vinyl. So why not get the audiophiles in your life a subscription to their Community Supported Records (CSR) club? There’re two options for the subscription: Mississippi Records
CSR, or Mississippi + Friends CSR. Both get you all the releases from Mississippi for a year, while the + Friends CSR ensures even more weirdo outsider releases will be coming your way. NOLAN PARKER
Portland Mercury Subscription
Tired of AI and the algo? SHAMELESS PLUG, the Mercury launched our subscription service earlier this year—zero AI used, baby! For $100 you can send our beautiful rag to loved ones (or hated ones) for an entire year. On top of receiving every print issue, the lucky
recipient of this gift will also score our very cool oversized tote bag, and a heap of crazysexycool mail stuffers like stickers, Polaroids, zines, etc. You’ll also be able to sleep so tight knowing that you’re supporting independent journalism. And if that isn’t enough, yes it is. NP
Movie Madness Membership
In the medium old days of streaming, you could fire up Netflix or Hulu on the first of the month and reliably find a handful of new releases and classic blockbusters worth blowing a few ad-free hours on. But we can’t have nice things anymore, so now
you gotta sit through three laxative commercials for the privilege of watching a ten-part miniseries about Jabba the Hutt’s accountant, or the worst Lethal Weapon sequel. Save your loved ones from this dire fate with a gift membership to Movie Madness. The shelves are overflowing with new releases and Oscar winners for the normie crowd, plus a deep bench of obscure gems and cult classics for true film freaks. Yes, you have to leave the house, but that’s half the fun of a video store! Catch a screening at the miniplex, chat with fellow film buffs, or even crack a local microbrew if you’re so inclined. BEN COLEMAN
16 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
NOVEMBER 2025
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FOODIE FRIENDLY Homecooked Zine
The Japanese Ancestral Society’s community lunch and cultural program Ikoi no Kai has been running since 1979, providing nutritious meals to older community members (everyone is welcome!) out of a Southeast Portland church basement. Inspired by the spiral bound community cookbooks of yore, Ikoi no Kai volunteers invited folks to contribute recipes, photos, and stories, which were all compiled into Homecooked, a collaborative and intergenerational zine cookbook. IMO, one of the highlights of the holiday season is sharing recipes and food with loved ones—and this collection, colorful and mostly handwritten, fully embodies that warmth and spirit. You can order it online, although you’ll have to pick it up in-person from Ikoi no Kai, so check the calendar for the day’s menu and stay for lunch. Pro tip: While you’re there, browse the selection of handmade cards for sale. JANEY WONG
A Gift to Sip: Smith Teamaker
Portlanders are #blessed to have easy access to the Steven Smith Teamaker shop. (Hint: If you’ve never had a nitro
chai, get ready to have your mind blown.) The inner eastside shop’s aroma of loose leaf tea is intoxicating, and the selection is big enough to treat any tea lover on your gift list. Must-try blends include the chocolate peppermint pu-erh, black lavender, ice cream royale, and for a caffeine-free herbal experience, cozy up with a cup of soothe sayer. Note: the soothe sayer tea is a comforting mix of peppermint, ginger, licorice root, wild cherry bark, black pepper, and echinacea. It not only tastes nice, it doubles as a wellness tea to get your loved one through the cold and flu season. For a festive gift, try a seasonal blend like silent night. Many of the tea selections can be purchased as loose leaf, or in a biodegradable satchel. COURTNEY VAUGHN
Merch From Jet Black Coffee Company
The Gateway area of NE Portland has been in the news recently for the closure of its Fred Meyer and a perceived lack of interest in revitalization from local leadership. But while some box stores have left, the people remain, and plenty of spots around Gateway are powering through as welcoming gathering places
for a diverse community. Enter Jet Black Coffee Company. They’re locally owned (with a Concordia location, too), they roast their own coffee, and they have vegan and gluten-free snacks. If that doesn’t check your boxes, I don’t know what will. Consider a Jet Black gift card for the leftist coffee drinker on your list (which is probably all of the people on your list??), or browse their merch shop. I personally love the shirt modeled after Jawbreaker’s vintage “When It Pains it Roars” tee, which was styled after the Morton salt label. The shirt asks an important question: Do you like Jawbreaker, salt, or local c o f f e e ? To which one can answer: Porque no los tres? ELINOR JONES
AN ELEVATED BUZZ Painted Lady Gin From Pilot House Distilling
Here’s a holiday gift scenario to plan for now: You’ve been invited to a function and want to bring something slightly more substantial than a six-pack or a bottle of house red, but not so ostentatious that you can’t crack that bad boy open and start sipping. Enter the locally produced mid-shelf spirit with a fun label, a perfect mix of “I didn’t get this from a gas station on the way here,” but also “I didn’t spend more than thirty dollars.” Painted Lady Gin from Pilot House Distilling checks all the boxes: It’s from nearby Astoria, the bottle has a cool tattooed mermaid on it, and the contents inside are smooth and approachable. Everyone’s got a cabinet full of obligatory party wine collecting dust, and good luck cramming another tall boy in the fridge, but no one’s gonna say no to a locally produced mid-shelf spirit with a fun label. BC
Booze I Am Drinking to Support the Local Economy
Here’s a farmer’s market tip for Portland winter: Some of those humble booths sell booze—the hard stuff, the spiritus sanctus sine sanctus. Try a little taste, and the cold melts away. If you’re like me, you just might go home with a liter of herby aquavit from Rolling River Spirits. Then when you have to answer questions like why do you have a bag full of beets, turnips, and booze—the answer is WINTER. And it’s FOR YOUR SISTER! This one you need to get from the liquor store or the source, but Kachka Horseradish Vodka is a perfect “I don’t know you very well, but we’re both over 21” present—provided you at least know they aren’t a teetotaler. But the thing I now buy both for those I am indebted to and for myself is Straightaway’s 12 Nights of Cocktails advent calendar. No specific countdown attached nor required. SS
Ranger Chocolate Bars Portland is known to take its coffee really seriously, but there’s another bean that artisans here give just as much consideration to: the cocoa bean. Our local chocolate scene has it all, from chocolate bars that are available in nationwide retailers to fiercely independent makers who work directly with cacao farmers and craft single-estate chocolate. In my books, Ranger Chocolate is one of the most accessible chocolate purveyors in town, striking a balance between quality and making products that the average chocoholic will enjoy. Their Adventure Series is a good place to start, with a pinot noir bar showcasing the flavor of Oregon wine country and Kann collaboration bars offering a taste of the buzzy restaurant for superfans (or folks who have yet to score a reservation). JW
NERDS WITHOUT PLANS Next Level Pinball Gift Pass
Everyone knows a pinball wizard or two who’s worn grooves in the Sopranos machine at their local dive bar. Portland is actually pretty flush with pinball joints, but nestled behind the Hillsboro Airport is a veritable Library of Alexandria dedicated to the coin-operated arts. Next Level Pinball Museum boasts over 650 tables in pristine condition, plus more conventional arcade attractions and a lounge densely packed with the sort of nerdy ephemera you’d expect to find in the lounge of a pinball museum
behind a regional airport. Day passes are $23 and cover free play on the vast majority of machines, which means for the cost of an uninspiring cheese pizza you can give the bumper punk in your life a nearly endless series of elaborate contraptions to guide a tiny silver orb through. And after all, isn’t that the real spirit of the holidays? BC
Tickets to Blade Runner Live
Are you or somebody you know in a “mixedgenre” relationship? (That’s when partners have differing cultural interests. For exam-
ple, one might be a huge movie nerd, while the other is a huge theater nerd [raises hand.]) If so, have I got news for you: On January 16, the Keller Auditorium is hosting a one-night only showing of Blade Runner on the big screen, with live accompaniment of the film’s iconic ambient Vangelis soundtrack by the Avex Ensemble. This is the perfect gift from me to my partner, and I’ve already bought tickets. (The second gift will be me not asking him who that is talking during the voiceovers. I’m good at gifts!!!) EJ
18 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
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FOR THE PERSON WHO IS SO STRESSED A Gift Subscription to Environmental Composer Chad Crouch’s Substack
Local composer, producer, and field recordist Chad Crouch is seriously prolific, and his restful nature soundscapes will help your friend fall asleep at night. For the Spotify-averse, a far more artist-supportive way to bliss out is through Crouch’s Substack, which is also regularly updated with illustrations and stories. You’ll find a few navigation links at chadcrouch.substack.com: “Soundwalk” leads to weekly-ish uploads of field recordings overlaid with original musical scores. (The October 2 entry was recorded at Mt. Tabor Park; Crouch supplements the piece with bird identifications and digital sketches.) “Soundscape” compiles relaxing recordings from places like Oaks Bottom and Sauvie Island, while “Sound & Vision” leads to nature audio paired with
photo essays, often lending historical context to the places in which the sounds were recorded. A mere $2.92 a month (when you pay for a year subscription) offers your recipient early access to albums and music releases, plus exclusive field recordings and other naturalistic tidbits. Your gift recipient is on their phone/computer all the time anyway—give them some digital green time. LC
The Gift of Relaxed Muscles
Is someone in your life a bit… on edge? That’s a rhetorical question, considering, um, everything about our current country and world. Long-term stress relief may require creating a new political order out of the dust of our current regime, but in the meantime, your friend or family member with a constant case of shoulder tension and jaw strain would definitely benefit from
some assistance. If they’re cool with being touched, consider a gift card to a local massage studio. (I have had great experiences at Mudra Massage, but there are plenty
of other great places in Portland. Choose a studio close to the recipient’s home to increase the likelihood they’ll actually make an appointment and go.) For people who’d rather let heat (not human hands) do the job, Portland is home to a bunch of spas with saunas and soaking pools. On the lower end of the price spectrum, there’s the sauna experience at Löyly and the soak and sauna at Common Ground Wellness Cooperative. If you want to gift a truly luxurious experience, check out Knot Springs (which offers multiple soaking pools, including a cold plunge, as well as a steam room and sauna), or the new and extremely fancy Cascada Thermal Springs, which boasts an underground, silent “sanctuary” spa. Most of these spas offer massage services, too, if you really want to tell your loved one to CHILL THE FUCK OUT in the nicest way possible. They won’t be mad, I promise. TG
Binoculars From Nocs Provisions Birdwatching is everyone’s new-ish way to chill, and while one of the activity’s strengths is its low-cost nature, let’s admit it: The best thing about having a new thing is buying the tools and accessories that support said new thing. Even better is when someone gifts you those tools and accessories. Hint, hint: Nocs Provisions makes cool-person binoculars with colorways like “alpaca,” “beeswax,” and “celeste.” You can find Nocs binocs at downtown shop Canoe, which, incidentally, is the kind of store within which you could satisfy the fanciest people on your gift list—they’ve got Florentine toothpaste, Japanese rice bran candles, and wabi-sabi glass vases. Google describes Canoe as a “trendy source stocking contemporary furniture and home goods in spare, snug environs,” which is a long way of saying “It’s chic in there.” But I digress! Grab Nocs’ standard issue pair—it’s waterproof, fogproof, and boasts an ergonomic grip, perf for spying a spark bird. LC
FOR THE PERSON WHO GETS THINGS FRAMED Portland Parks Foundation Posters Everyone who has ever stepped foot in Portland knows about our amazing public parks, and those who have spent more than a few days here have likely developed personal relationships with some of them. You can’t bottle up and gift the parks themselves, but the Portland Parks Foundation’s online gift shop offers the next best thing: Gorgeous poster prints representing 10 of the city’s best parks, with illustrations by top-tier local artists.
For bonus gifting points, get personal with it. Do you and your friend love comedy in the park? There’s a gorgeous print of Laurelhurst Park (art by Allie Yacina) with their name on it. Did you and your partner meet at a Mount Tabor rave, or have your first Hinge date at the Cathedral Park Jazz Fest? You know what to do (art by Dorothy Siemens and Jax Ko, respectively). Pickup basketball lovers will enjoy Studio Dad’s somewhat abstract depiction of Alberta Park, while nature enjoyers of all stripes will adore Jax Chow’s gorgeous rendition of the Leach Botanical Garden. PPF offers offset lithograph prints for $35, as well as signed silkscreen posters for $250, if you want to ball out. (The latter option isn’t available for all designs.) Deliver them already framed for all-time best gift giver status. TG
Lauren Blair Dungeness Crab Print
I’ve dreamed about getting a tattoo from local artist and “outside-lover” Lauren Blair for years, admiring her Instagram page full of inked flora and fauna. Her striking use of color and pattern is distinctive and fun, but her books always fill up fast. Luckily, Lauren sells prints of her work, which would make a great statement piece in a home office, kitchen, or wherever else your giftee needs an uplifting pop of color. I love this Dungeness crab, which of course is prized ‘round these parts. Other gorgeous prints depict local species like rainbow trout, trillium, and lupine. JW
20 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
F U N !! !
Puzzle Them Your friends and family are bound to get tired of perusing Netflix for a show worthy of binging during winter’s often dreary days. Give them something tactile and calming to cure the boredom. Portland has a plethora of board game and jigsaw puzzle stores. For a moderately challenging gift, consider a 500-piece artist puzzle from Portland Puzzle Company. The shop offers artists’ renderings of local landmarks, including a portrait taken inside The Sports Bra. Shoppers in pursuit of a more challenging collection can hop over to Red Castle Games and choose from a variety of high-quality, 1000-piece Ravensburger puzzles featuring everything from a picturesque painting of bikes resting on an Amsterdam bridge, to Star Wars and Jurassic Park-themed designs. If you can’t choose, it’s hard to go wrong with this 500-piece Sloth Selfie puzzle. CV
Rolls of Raffle Tickets or Wrist Bands
Do you have a loved one with limited resources or on a seriously constricted budget? Do they like to go to various shows and events? Are they a little on the “morally ambiguous” side? Then how about giving them rolls of various colored raffle tickets and/or wristbands from The Lippman Company? For my money, Lippman’s is one of the most underrated places to buy unusual, one-of-kind gifts. There you
can find so many things that people might not think they need, but one day will—such as a sequined cowgirl hat. Or weirdly realistic 3D animal masks. Or the suddenly very popular inflatable frog/dinosaur/unicorn protest costumes. But it’s also the best place to buy the aforementioned raffle tix or wristbands for those pals who need to stay active and entertained while on a tight budget. Remember, as the old adage goes, “Teach a person to fish and they’ll eat fish for a day—
but give them wrist bands and raffle tickets and they’ll get into shows for a lifetime!” WSH
Cute Underpants
The basics are important. Even if you have to cheap-out on everything else, a good pair of shoes, socks, and underpants are the true necessities of life. So if you love yourself or someone else, both of you deserve a cute pair of underpants from Portland’s UnderU4men. Talk about a successful niche business! Popping onto the scene
20 years ago, downtown’s UnderU4men is famous for their top quality briefs, boxers, jocks, thongs, and (my fave) the “exotic” category. Featuring top brands in every conceivable color, style, and shape, wearing just about any of these babies will make the owner feel 100 percent hotter—even when they’re covered from head to toe in frumpy winter gear. And when you take all those outer layers off ? Oooh-la-la, is it hot in here or is it just YOU? (I’m a size medium if you’re feeling generous.) WSH
PORTLAND-APPROVED “Greetings From War-Ravaged Portland” Merch and Memorabilia It was only a matter of time before Portland creatives would pounce on the city’s new wartorn status. Cheeky, self-depracating merch is one of our many specialties. Now you can send postcards to loved ones this holiday season to let them know you survived. Alternatively, just leave them blank and gift them. Equally fun! You can thank local yarn retailer and crocheter Hailey Bailey for the design, which can also be purchased as a shirt. The gifts keep on giving! If the nowiconic protest frog is more your jam, the internet has that covered, too. Snag a punny T-shirt or baseball tee featuring the bravest inflatable amphibian in the city, courtesy of local design shop United Snakes Press, or box up a special frog tee from Boss Dog, who’s already cooked up a design that’s an ode to the Rose City and its enduring protests. CV
Locally Made Gear From North St. Bags
You don’t need a lot of fancy gear to ride a bike. But, let’s be honest, it’s fun to have it. Among the most covet-worthy bike accessories is the trusty bike bag, which comes in a variety of forms (handlebar packs, panniers, tool pouches). Well-made versions of these bags can run someone a pretty penny, but they’re worth it. Portland company North St. Bags offers some of the best in the game, which the bike person in your life has likely been drooling over for quite some time already. End their suffering and buy them a bag. It’ll spur on an insatiable (and possibly financially crippling) bike bag addiction, but the look on their face will be worth it all. (Another recommendation for high-quality, locally-made bike bags: PNX Bags. PNX Bags offers a little less in terms of variety, but the bags look sick and will be very impressive to your bike friend who doesn’t have THAT much stuff to carry.) TG
NOVEMBER 2025
OR FORGET ABOUT STUFF
Donate on Behalf of Conservative Family Members Gosh, I really do reckon that we all have conservative family members pissing their money down the drain supporting the abolition of trans and women’s rights, AmeriKKKa’s military industrial complex, and the destruction of the environment. I know I do—Hi dad! Instead of buying them a museum membership they’ll never use (Hi dad!), write them a nice card explaining that you’ve donated to Indigenous sovereignty funds, public libraries, and Palestinian liberation groups on their behalf. If you think that’ll cause too much drama (Hi dad!), make a few donations on their behalf and don’t tell them! Just write a nice card wishing them happy holidays, and bask in the light of supporting what you know in your heart of hearts to be the right thing. NP
Donate to Northwest Immigrant Rights Project
The asshole-in-chief’s obsession with Portland is easy to joke about, but it’s not at all funny for our undocumented friends, family, and neighbors who are living in fear of detainment by ICE. While it will always be a good idea to throw down when a GoFundMe is shared for a specific person, not everyone has a support system trying to get them help. For this reason, I’d recommend a gift donation to Northwest Immigrant Rights Project (NWIRP), which provides legal services to immigrants, asylum seekers, and refugees for little to no cost, regardless of immigration status. NWIRP’s proximity to the NW Detention Center in Tacoma and their experience with folks in detention makes them an impactful place to throw some dollars this year—especially for that person on your list who hates both the current administration and physical gifts. EJ
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22 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
Why So SAD?
When darker months hit, so can seasonal affective disorder. Here’s how to deal. BY COURTENAY HAMEISTER ILLUSTRATIONS BY OLESIA ILINA
Caption.
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very fall, it happens. The first moment you can feel hot air escaping through your air ducts, the smell of warmed-over spring and summer dust filling the room. That’s when you know it’s coming: winter in Oregon. According to weatherspark.com, in Oregon, “the cloudiest part of the year begins around October 7 and lasts for 8.1 months.” The website says it so casually. EIGHT MONTHS OF GRAY, OREGON. DEAL WITH IT. Not to brag, but it doesn’t bother me. Which isn’t to say I don’t get depressed—I am one dysthymic bitch. It’s just not because of the rain. In fact, I’m more depressed in the summer because of all the under-boob and back-of-knee sweat. But I realize I’m an outlier. Almost anyone you talk to in Oregon mentions winter as something you must survive, and research backs that up. According to Oregon State University,
25 percent of Pacific Northwest dwellers self-report a lower mood in the winter, with 10 percent experiencing seasonal affective disorder (SAD)—twice the US average. We Oregonians are a SAD people.
The single most powerful choice I made was to go against my instinct to hibernate and proactively schedule more time than ever with my friends. SAD is depression that generally occurs during the fall and winter months. Why it happens is not fully understood, but it appears to be related to lower production
of serotonin and melatonin in response to reduced daylight hours. Symptoms include decreased energy and motivation, weight gain due to increased appetite, social withdrawal, anxiety, and generally riding a serious bummer. (Women who have experienced these symptoms during perimenopause or menopause understand the hellish havoc a lack of certain hormones in the body can wreak. Respectful hat tip to serotonin and melatonin.) If you’re a person who struggles with SAD, or just a persistent low mood during these months, most ways to fight it involve going against your instincts to lolligag and socially withdraw. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but this is tough love, Oregon. (Not, like, “federalize the National Guard without the governor’s consent” tough love, but tough nonetheless.) Here are a few tips for beating down the SAD beast: Schedule more social time during winter months, not less. To elevate your mood and combat feelings of hopeless-
ness and loneliness, you must try to stay connected to your chosen people—those folks who remind you that you’re loved and cared for. After my last relationship ended, I was deeply depressed. The single most powerful choice I made was to go against my instinct to hibernate and proactively schedule more time than ever with my friends. I had a magnetic dry-erase calendar on my fridge that I filled with multiple play dates every week of the month, and it made all the difference. Yes, there was one girls’ night when I started crying over a beautiful selection of charcuterie while a very resourceful friend surreptitiously ordered two bottles of bubbly from GrubHub, but that was the only time shit got really dark. (Another respectful hat tip to resourceful friends who stick around during the hard stuff.) Note: If you have social anxiety, notice whether you’re draining your social battery or getting “social hangovers”—you might leave a hangout feeling fatigued, irritated,
NOVEMBER 2025
or disconnected, instead of healed by the power of love and friendship. If this is true for you, lower the number of social connections you’re scheduling. Crawl out of that cozy-ass bed and exercise more. Again, I know this goes against your instincts, but remember how SAD’s hallmark downturn in mood may be associated with decreased levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine? I’m sorry to say that exercise increases both of those fuckers. The good news is that exercise doesn’t have to mean a high-energy Zumba class or climbing the steps at Mt. Tabor in the pouring rain. It can mean those things, but it can also be as simple as walking on a treadmill while listening to a podcast about a particularly grisly murder. Walking is exercise. So is doing bed-curls with your lightest dumbbells while watching the Love is Blind finale. Doing even the smallest amount of exercise can make a huge difference in your mindand body-set. The key is to do ANYTHING that’s not bed-rotting. (Full disclosure: I am typing this from my couch. Because it’s cozy. Don’t @ me.) Go into the light—with mindfulness. Light therapy works. Even sitting near windows can help, but getting a light therapy lamp can make all the difference when natural light is hard to come by. Mayo Clinic advises purchasing a lamp that emits 10,000 lux of light, which is 20 times brighter than an average indoor light. They range from $16 to $149 online, so you should be able to find one in your price range. You can also leave the house for your light therapy—there are infrared saunas in Portland (known to help with pain relief, enhancing circulation, stress reduction, and improved sleep, among other things), and PSU students have access to a “mind spa.” “But Courtenay,” you might be thinking. “Sitting for twenty minutes staring at a therapy lamp with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company in the middle of a dark winter sounds seventh-circle-of-hellish. Why would I do that?” You make a good point. Being alone with one’s thoughts in the midst of winter’s discontent isn’t the best idea. What I would suggest is either the aforementioned grisly podcast (or—hear me out—something lighter) or killing two mental health birds with one stone and meditating during your lamp therapy. Paid apps like Happier Meditation, Calm, and Headspace offer guided meditations from your phone, but you can also find free ones on YouTube. I know it’s hard to hear that boring things are beneficial to your brain chemistry, but millennia of practice and research show that meditation can balance neurotransmitters, reduce stress and rumination, and offer a strong counter punch to the low moods that SAD can bring. If you’ve never meditated before, don’t start with 30 minutes. You’ll never make it. Even starting with a couple minutes of guided breathwork in the morning can make a surprising difference. Two minutes! You can do anything for two minutes. Yes you can. Shut up. JUST FREAKING MEDITATE WHY ARE YOU BEING DIFFICULT ABOUT THIS? Apologies. I may have overstepped. But this is serious. Talking about SAD is often
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a punchline, but it can actually lead to longterm or even major depression if you’re not proactive about it. Supplement for a lack of sun with pills and professionals. If you do nothing else, consider getting your Vitamin D levels checked and take supplements if they’re low. Eight months of cloud cover (read: lack of access to the sun’s UVB rays) can lead to a deficiency, and Vitamin D is a known mood regulator. Low levels of it
have been linked to mood disorders like depression and anxiety, so it can be an easy fix in milder cases. That being said, it’s also good to know when it’s time to turn it up to 11, solution-wise: Contact a therapist and sign on for some sweet, sweet cognitive behavioral therapy or mood elevators. As a person with both generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder, I have experienced the deep, echoing cave that is an anxious brain during the depths of winter. Therefore, I can say with some level of confidence that the majority of the stories you’re telling yourself this winter are total and complete bullshit. Some of them are true, don’t get me wrong. We ARE circling the democratic drain and just beginning to plumb the depths of fascism, so we actually do have things we should be worried about. Taking some form of political action is the antidote to those spirals. Host a postcard-writing evening with friends wherein you drink something called a “Stolitov cocktail” just to get a little venom out of your system. Volunteer for an organization doing meaningful work. Find the closest abyss to scream into. There are things we should be both worrying and doing something about. That said, the stuff about that thing you said at the thing with all the people that you’re sure everyone immediately called each other about right afterwards? That didn’t happen. Or, it did happen, but no one called anyone and/or broke into discussion groups about it. This is why a therapist can be a useful winter tool: They’re an objective, kind, educated voice that can counter almost all the seasonal neurotic garbage bouncing around your brain right now. There’s no shame in getting help before things get really dark. Well, they’re already really dark, but you know what I mean. Here’s hoping you can find a way to enjoy these glorious, cozy, holiday-filled and under-boob-sweat-free days. ■
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24 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
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NOVEMBER 2025
Tips for Holiday Fun (and Saving Money)
with Ben Harkins
You’ll thank Ben Harkins for this thrifty list of money-hoarding suggestions from Ben Harkins. BY BEN HARKINS ILLUSTRATIONS BY MIKE MERG
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eason’s greetings from the war-torn Pacific Northwestern front! It’s the hour of the wolf. The economy has been hijacked by cultish tech-priests. Fascist goons strong-arm the innocent with impunity. Your vacuum cleaner is spying on you. Your phone is trying to kill you. The center cannot hold. If you’re like me, clutching your trembling loved ones close in the charmingly nuked-out ruins of this weird city, you probably only have
one question on your mind: “Where can I spot a rip-roaring bargain this holiday season?” Stick to this cost-effective guide and I’ll show you how to SURVIVE and THRIVE the mad rush this holiday season. It’s a recession, it’s a depression, it’s a combination depression-recession-tech-bubble-fascism-whatever. It’s time to save money, in spite of the fact that all is lost!
HOST A HOLIDAY POTLUCK, BUT DON’T COOK ANYTHING. Nothing in human history is more sacred than The Feast, a gathering of family, neighbors, loved ones, and whoever is screwing around with whomever. The holidays are a season of forgetting names immediately. It’s a season of forgiveness, setting aside past judgments/betrayals and focusing on what really matters: BEING TOGETHER regardless of who bothered to prepare a dish or contribute anything. Did you pay your rent? If yes, there is untapped social currency in your home, but only for those bold enough to host. A potluck is a great way to trick people into cooking for you. Offering up your home is an inviolable kindness for any holiday function. So why not get the most from that home field advantage? Despite the advantages of guests delivering home cooked food to
NO GIFTS.
GET CRAFTY.
The spirit of giving is alive and well. Are you still practicing that awful hobby you picked up during lockdown? Knit a lousy cap, write a shitty poem, slap some paint on a flimsy popsicle-stick birdhouse and offload that trash. Give a second-rate piece of yourself to your friends. Nothing tells your extended family that you “tried” like home-made alcohol. Even a dumb craft from impressively unskilled hands can be made with love. Your bank account will thank you, even if your loved ones don’t.
Let’s just sit this one out. Every year, rampant consumerism strangles the charm out of our quaint holiday season and saps the life force of OUR PLANET! To give someone nothing for Christmas is to briefly spare them from the hell that is late-stage capitalism. It’s obviously cheap but where is it written you can’t be cheap for a cause? Skipping gifts is a revolutionary act and should be celebrated as such. Think about it. Who are these kids to be so expectant of gifts when the whole dang country is going down the friggin tubes? The North Pole is melting, too. Santa will not save us. We are facing seven different apocalypses colliding into each other every day. Does the enviro-eco-techno-fasci-localypse take a break for the holidays?
your mouth, a meal can be a social pressure cooker, especially during the holiday season. Make sure to introduce everyone and prod them with lots of questions. Keep the pressure on those guests! Between tiptoeing around touchy political conversations and heartwarming stories from years gone by, chances are everyone will be too preoccupied to clock the fact that you didn’t prepare anything. When it’s all said and done, be ready to do the dishes. Guests will offer to help. Just say thanks for the offer and send them away with leftovers (Keep some for yourself too). Don’t give them time to consider who cooked and who didn’t make anything. Doing the dishes is a small price to pay for a day of free home cooked meals and an argument in good company.
Does Dad need a new phone to contribute to A.I.-fueled accelerationist surveillance capitalism? Maybe next year! Does your romantic partner want a new book? Link them to a three hour Adam Curtis YouTube doc explaining why individualism cannot effectively counter the rise of global fascism. Happy Chanukah! Better yet, answer every item on your loved ones’ wishlists with a tedious diatribe on ever-increasing disaster. Give your inner-circle the gift of readiness and dread. Give them the gift of fear.
TAKE PSYCHEDELICS ALONE.
Pretty self explanatory. Stay in your room and meet God for the price of a cheeseburger. I hope this guide will inspire you to be mindful of your finances this holiday season, no matter what you celebrate, no matter who you call family. Near or far, for better or worse, the most important thing, always, is showing up. And that doesn’t cost a thing (except for when it does, because everything costs $). The holidays are hard. Hang in there and save on. ■
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26 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
NOVEMBER 2025
The Mercury’s Top 10 Portland Albums of 2025 Our picks for the year’s best records by Rose City artists. BY NOLAN PARKER
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ince starting at the Portland Mercury in February, I’ve spoken with dozens of people in various Portland music scenes, all of whom echo the opinion that it feels as though Portland is having a bit of a renaissance at the moment. Everyone is leaning more deeply into their artistic practices, starting bands, and excavating old projects no one ever thought would put music out again. New venues are opening, we got Dame back (who is a rapper as well as a nine-time NBA All-Star), and established artists from elsewhere are relocating to Portland—I see you, elijah jamal asani, Gouge Away, Duster, and Algernon Cadwallader.
Case in point, a massive amount of truly stellar records have been released by Portland artists thus far in 2025. We’ve got it all in our fair city: the hardest of hardcore, the slowest of slowcore, transcendent ambient and jazz, hip-hop and hoedown, toe-curling post-punk, and lip-biting rave music. Every single genre of music imaginable is forged on the banks of the mighty Willamette. All-femme sacred choral music? Yup. Indigenous indie? Sure thing. A clutch trans music scene? You bet! The below 10 albums are my favorites of the year thus far for so many different reasons. Some dropped at the perfect time to resonate with where I was/am per-
The Barbaras - Rollercoasters
For fans of The Judds, Patsy Cline, Dougie Poole
Since dropping in late September, Rollercoasters hasn’t left my turntable for more than a couple days at a time. It finds the perfect tension between trying to love yourself, trying to love the world around you, and trying to find the one(s) to love. The blood harmonies sung by sisters Sallie and Weezy Ford are hauntingly catchy, country earworms you’ll be humming to yourself for months. All the grand country music tropes are present: Love, heartbreak, cheating, lust, forgiveness, past mistakes, and on and on. But with that 2025 twist, baby! Let the Ford sisters croon you into sweet oblivion with a wink and a flash of their boobs. Since their packed release party at The Showdown Saloon, I’ve been super keen to learn how to two-step and square dance. Who’s in?
For fans of Peeling Flesh, These Fucking Hands, whatsdysmorphia
All albums are listed in alphabetical order.
C Powers - Unlawful Assembly
For fans of AK Sports, Lotic, Aja Ireland
Constructed using heavily distorted samples of field recordings C Powers collected during the protests after the murder of George Floyd and since, Unlawful Assembly is at once a stark reminder of where we are as a society, and where we can get to if we finally decide to take radical action. The “radical” action Powers seeks is community, on and off the dance floor. Album favorite “I WIll Not Live In A Fascist State” uses a chanted protest call-and-return (the track’s namesake) over a driving beat reminiscent of the early rave music of the ’80s and ’90s, a scene built by people of color and queers. If you dream of a free Palestine, the abolition of the prison industrial complex, and Indigenous and trans liberation, pop this one into your headphones immediately and get your dancing/marching shoes on.
Boltcutter - Still Broke Irresponsibly heavy, Eugene’s Boltcutter ain’t here to make friends or fans, they’re here to blast shit out of their fucking path. Guttural pig squeals ooze forth, blurring, burning, and burying any other possibility of sonic comprehension. Blaxploitation and hip-hop samples serve as reminders that slam and hardcore music have always had roots in Black and Brown culture, unbreakable bonds real slammers continue forging in basements and pits around the PNW. Most of Still Broke’s tracks have a feature: Fellow heavy-hitters Human Decomposition, Dredge, Chain Gang, and Load Tha Nine show up, along with New York trapper RXKNephew. Pick up a copy of Still Broke and see Boltcutter live, it’ll change you.
sonally (The Barbaras, C Powers), some came on like a breath of air after a deep plunge I didn’t know I was taking (The Cosmic Tones Research Trio, Boltcutter), while others are gems by Portland legends (Michael Hurley, Soul Assembly 1). All of the albums—every single one—are worth digging into, even if they’re not your cup of tea. Unbelievable amounts of creative energy, time, and resources went into the creation of these works of art. Check them out, see the artists live, give them flowers in person while you can.
Casual Hex - Zig Zag Lady Illusion II
For fans of Machine Country, Dïat, Anthers
Portland-Seattle-Tacoma band Casual Hex deliver scathing critiques of where we find ourselves in 2025: Relentless depersonalization via propaganda fed to us from the day we’re born that it’s our lot in life—or worse yet, our duty—to endlessly feed the insatiable beasts of capitalism. Angular guitars pulse, fractured from a lifetime of trauma and alienation, over a steady low-end bass that either incites a riot or a moshpit; choose your own adventure. The dizzying precision of the band is reflective of the industrial caste system hellscape of the now, and on the album’s lead single, “The System,” the band asks “Can you tell us why it’s all a disguise?” When they find the answer, we’ll share it out.
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For fans of Alice Coltrane, Sun Ra, Onyx Collective
The Cosmic Tones Research Trio - S/T
Michael Hurley - Broken Homes and Gardens
Led by prolific Illinois transplant Roman Norfleet—also of Be Present Art Group and the newly formed Merkaba Brotherhood— The Cosmic Tones Research Trio incite visions of Black ancestors past and future. Meditative to the extent you are willing to let go, the Trio can take you all the way; all they ask is that you check your ego at the door. The group’s other two members, Harlan Silverman and Kennedy Verrett, manifest themselves in the project with healing cello, flute, Rhodes, duduk, and more. This being the Trio’s second album, the sound is warmer, asking less and giving more. This is Afrofuturism for the here and now.
Portland lost one of its guiding lights this year: Michael Hurley passed away at the age of 83, leaving in his wake a massive discography of outsider folk. Broken Homes and Gardens—the first of what is sure to be many posthumous releases— is the last album Hurley was directly involved in producing, setting the track order just days before his April 1 passing. Hurley’s music is playful, sexual, snarky, devastating, and full of life and love, just like the man himself. On his new record, you can tell we’re hearing directly from the source, drinking straight from the spring. Yes, Bad Mr. Mike sounds weathered, but that’s the point, he lived a full life ’til the day he died. His sharing his stories with us is a privilege, not a right. Soak it in knowing he’s somewhere up there having a beer, dancing a jig.
For fans of Larry Peace-Love Yes, The Holy Modal Rounders, Connie Converse
Herr God / House of Warmth Dawn Summers is Dead
For fans of Nourished By Time, Glixen, Chlorine (NZ)
The split EP Dawn Summers is Dead contains within its four songs a multiverse of texture and color. The first two tracks are Herr God’s, a three-piece calling their music “slowgaze,” fronted by Chloe Gallardo. Their first track opens with the refrain “Someone buy me a gun / I’m a man on the run / Can’t get out / I won’t hurt anyone,” setting the timbre of the EP to deep lavender, slate grey, and a shimmering black, until now reserved only for shoegaze femme icons of the late ’80s and early ’90s. The second two songs come from House of Warmth, a band leaning more into the liminal space between noisy shoegaze and (good) nu metal. Both bands are at the vanguard of underground music in Portland and beyond—tune in.
Various Artists - Powerhouse vol. 1
For fans of Bijoux Cone, Dustbunny, IX of Swords (these are just who I hope are on vol. 2)
The first in what I deeply hope is many more to come, the inaugural Powerhouse compilation is a vignette of Portland’s underground indie music scenes in 2025. The compilation—compiled by the band Femme Cell—pulls together nine new or previously unreleased tracks by largely femme and/or queer-fronted bands. Album standouts include the stoned dreamings of Emerlinda’s “If I Could;” the wildly relatable first lines of “Lay And Wait” by How Strange It Is, “Look up to yourself / You are the fucking future, you / Me? / I’m just a cocksucker;” and of course, the ripper new track “I’m Not Pretty” by Nonbinary Girlfriend, in which bandleader James shares insight into their past, repeating the lines “I’m not pretty / I am fucking scary / I’m not pretty / You are fucking scared of me.” If this isn’t a sign of good things to come, I don’t know what is.
Manslaughter 777 - God’s World
For fans of Carl Crack, Rave Racers, LU2K
Maximalism is the name of the game on Manslaughter 777’s new one, God’s World. It’s a workout not only on the dancefloor, but also of genre sampling. The minds behind the gauntlet may surprise: Lee Buford of The Body, Everyone Asked About You, et al., and Zac Jones of MSC and Nothing—though there were signs. Whiplashing from soundsystem dub to four-tothe-floor rave, ambient soundscapes to fragmented industrial beats, the album is unrelenting start to finish. The samples here are also unbelievably nuanced, giving the album an unclockable timestamp, though it’s 100 percent 2025 music. I’d bet money a Manslaughter 777 live show would break some backs if ever they were to play out.
19 More That’re Also Very Worth It… Aminé - 13 Months of Sunshine
elijah jamal asani - ,,, as long as i long to memorise your sky ,,,
Charlie Hilton - River of Valentines
Forty Feet Tall - Clean the Cage
Conspire - Turn a Blind Eye EP
Holland Andrews - Aromatherapy: Vol. 1
Crystal Quartez - Erospace Dreckig - Eclipse EP
Alien Boy - You Wanna Fade?
Various Artists - Soul Assembly 1: Archive Remixes
For fans of Madlib, J Dilla, MF DOOM
Portland has an intensely vibrant Black music history that informs the city’s music today and will continue to influence the music of the future. Doing some of the most powerful work preserving Portland’s Black music history are the folks at Albina Music Trust, a non-profit dedicated to the amplification of Black music in and around Portland’s historically Black Albina District. Soul Assembly 1: Archive Remixes is the first in a remix series in which contemporary Portland DJs, producers, and beatmakers take funky tracks from the AMT vaults, putting their personal spin on them. The whole album slides and grooves through its 14 tracks with an easy cool only real heads know how to produce. This is as close to a perfect album we will see this year: historically very important to Portland, A-1 quality production, and an immediate turntable classic.
La Isla Electronica - S/T EP
Patricia Wolf - Hrafnamynd
Larry Peace-Love Yes - Everyone On This Planet Is Family
Piggy Bank - Pattern Recognition Ural Thomas - Nat-Ural
Karma Rivera - Priceless
The Modern Folk - Modern Folk Electronic Ensemble / Holayela / Mf
Various Artists - Emerald: New Sounds from Moon
Kitten Tools - Kitten Music
Mortiis - Live at Enchanted Forest / Live at Star Theater
Glyph Records
NOVEMBER 2025
Top 2025 Albums from Our Portland Music Pals!
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here’s so much music coming out of Portland right now, there’s no way one person can listen to and appreciate it all. With that in mind, we asked a handful of Portland music pals to weigh in on what’s good. The following are those special selections—dig in.
C Powers
Lindsay Costello
DJ, producer
Culture Writer, Portland Mercury
Carissa Illy - “Kitty Kat-R3mix”
The Cosmic Tones Research Trio - S/T
DJ Dissolve - “teknodisko”
elijah jamal asani - ,,, as long as i long to memorise your sky ,,,
othrwrld - skin and sky Silversound - “Rage” Various Artists - 254 Science and Research: Renegade Science xoFleur - “Lick of the Week”
DEC 12–21, 2025
EVEREST
World Trade Center Theatre
FEB 14–15, 2026
THE MAJESTY OF THE SPIRITUAL World Trade Center Theatre
Larry Peace-Love Yes - Everyone On This Planet Is Family Patricia Wolf - Hrafnamynd Sister Irene O’Connor - Fire of God’s Love
Mississippi Records founder
Musician, Homie Fest founder
Papi Fimbres
MAR 7–15, 2026
The Cosmic Tones Research Trio - S/T
Caicedo - Pasará
Cruise Control - Time Is An Angel
Julimar ft. El Cucuy - “Machucalo”
FELLOW TRAVELERS
Dreckig - Eclipse EP
Karma Rivera - Priceless
Hailey Holden - Laments, Rockers, and Howls
Perimeters - Set The Tripwire EP
Eric Isaacson
Pinky Tex - Singing Angel From Devil Rock Canyon
Giulia Fiaoni
Senior Producer, City Cast Portland Glorybower - Story Hour EP Holy Catholic Social Club - The Oh-K Motel Just Clark - Dead End St The Neon Prairie Dogs - All Downhill From Here Pain Soda - Welcome to the Potluck EP
Larry Peace-Love Yes Folk artist and musician
Barry Walker Jr. - At the 13th Moon Gravity Well The Cosmic Tones Research Trio - S/T Darci Phenix - Sable Michael Hurley - Broken Homes and Gardens Neil Morgan - PAW
Newmark Theatre
Reyna Tropical - Malegría en la Oscuridad EP
Patricia Wolf
Musician, DJ, birder The Cosmic Tones Research Trio - S/T elijah jamal asani - ,,, as long as i long to memorise your sky ,,, Graintable - Music to Watch Seeds Grow By 003: Graintable (Blue Flax) Strategy - A Cooler World wndfrm - WVLT
MAY 16, 2026
VERDI’S REQUIEM
Keller Auditorium
Sallie Ford
Musician, designer Cruise Control - Time Is An Angel Emily Love - Heart of a Fool Jenny Don’t & The Spurs - Live at the Jenny The Lowtimers - Cracks William Surly & The Barroom Gospel Band - Hello Sorrow
FOR SUBSCRIPTIONS AND TICKETS VISIT PORTLANDOPERA.ORG
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NOVEMBER 2025
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All That Is Sacred and Profane Holiday events that run the gamut from heartwarming to hell-raising. BY SUZETTE SMITH
D
uring the holiday months, Christmas ove r w h e l m s a l l things. But Portland still maintains a few weird and lovely events that are just FUN to experience. So, here’s a list of trads and rads—you be the classifier. Some are Christmas, some are just wholesome, some are pointing out that the Nativity is actually a situation of alien visitation. Enjoy!
Rebound Kiki Ball Three-Year Anniversary
Festivale Cool Nutz
Local hip-hop legend Cool Nutz always finds ways to give back to his community, and the second year of Festivale Cool Nutz is just that—a gift. Curated every year by the icon himself, the two night line-up at Alberta Street Pub boasts a baller bill of local talent. Cool Nutz opens the fest on Friday, headlining a bill of Mikey Vegaz, Maniac Lok, Northside Tego, and DJ Fatboy on the 1s and 2s. Saturday night sees Vary, DBOI LTD, King Wess, and Bobby Barrz hit the stage, with DJ Danny Merkury holding it all together. Like music columnist Jenni Moore wrote about the first year, “you had me at Festivale Cool Nutz.” (Alberta Street Pub, 1036 NE Alberta, Dec 12-Dec 13, 10 pm, tickets and info at FestivaleCN25.eventbrite.com, 21+)
At its heart, ball culture is about family, so it seems like a wonderful synergy that Rebound PDX should be honoring the roots of ballroom at its three-year anniversary Rebound Kiki Ball. With a theme of “remember the time,” all categories of competition Ntvty Sculpture Garden SHAWNTE SIMS, MATT HENDERSON, GIANNA BASILE are tasked with harkenFrom 2010-2020, Matt Hening back to moments from derson’s Nativity installations Left to right: La’Tevin Alexander in Portland Playhouse’s 2022 A Christmas Carol, art from a previous previous balls—”whether Ntvty sculpture garden, and a performer at Rebound PDX’s Back to School Ball in 2025. were an annual must-see for it’s an homage to a legart scene weirdos. It was their end, an iconic moment, or a Black/queer neighborhood church—the timeless Krampuslauf PDX own little Peacock Lane without the muncultural reference reimagined in your story of a miserable miser who learns For 16 years, fine, fierce, festive folks have dane, popping up in a now-defunct artistic own unique way,” writes local ball cul- the True Meaning of Christmas unfolds been dressing up like half-goat half-demon space called Xhurch. Henderson is now ture figure Daniel Giron. It sounds like with original songs and lyrics by Rick monsters from Alpine folklore and march- director of Virtua Gallery in Lloyd Cena beautiful way to remember founders of Lombardo and Anna Lackaff. This year’s ing down SE Hawthorne in procession. The ter Mall and has continued to call in holy the form, local inspirations, and chosen set-up has a lot of spark, as local theater story of Krampus changes with different symbols of virtual design and alien visicommunity. (Stage 772, 722 SE 10th, Fri force La’Tevin Alexander takes a turn cultures, but the general gist is this old- tations with Virtua’s Ntvty sculpture garNov 21, 9 pm, $23.18, tickets and info at at the role of Ebenezer Scrooge. (This world beast knows if you’ve been bad and dens—lighting up the EOY dark days with alone is a reason to go!) Plus, the pro- is going to remind you of it somehow. In technology-influenced, neon and blacklight reboundpdx.com , 21+) duction’s new music director DeReau practice, Krampuslauf means a lot of peo- aesthetic celebration. Come one, come all— Grinch Skate K. Farrar has promised some changes to ple wearing horns and carousing. (Meet up behold the miracle of this creation. (Virtua Ice skaters of all ages are invited to join orchestrations and instruments, keep- at Sewell Crest Park, SE 31st and SE Market, Gallery, 2201 Lloyd Center, Dec 21-Jan 4, America’s favorite weird li’l guy at the ing an already great performance lively Fri Dec 5, sunset, FREE, all ages) hours and info at virtua.gallery, all ages) Lloyd Center Ice Rink for an event aptly and vibrant. (Portland Playhouse, 602 NE titled, “Skate with the Grinch and Cindy Prescott, Nov 29-Dec 31, $59.95, Arts for All George Balanchine’s A Charlie Brown Christmas and Friends.” The chain-store-free Lloyd and CARE tickets available, tickets and info Charlie Brown didn’t have a SAD lamp to The Nutcracker Center is now one of Portland’s premier at portlandplayhouse.org, all ages) If you can’t tell a plié from a pirouette, the brighten his winter nights, but he’s been holiday shopping locations, especially for name George Balanchine might not mean warming the hearts of audiences everycustomers hoping to buy locally. A porCirque Nutcracker much. But the famed choreographer held where in the 60 years since the Peanuts tion of each skate fee from this event will It won’t just be sugarplums dancing at court for nearly 30 years in New York animated special first graced our TV benefit the Salvation Army. Don’t forget Oregon Symphony’s performance of this City, establishing the iconic steps and screens. In this staged adaptation, Charyour costume! (Lloyd Center, 2201 Lloyd iconic ballet score. This year, the sym- positions that define traditional ballet to lie Brown attempts to enliven the holiCenter, Sat Nov 29, 2-4 pm, holiday skate phony’s famed classical musicians have this day. His legacy lives on in Portland days with a toothpick-thin Christmas admission $20, skate rental $5, more info partnered with acrobatics from Troupe as the Oregon Ballet Theatre presents tree and a plan to stage a holiday pagat lloydcenter.com, all ages) Vertigo for a performance dubbed Cirque The Nutcracker. Attendees can expect to eant starring Snoopy and the rest of the Nutcracker. Attendees can expect a series see what makes this ballet so timeless, Peanuts gang. Theatregoers beware, no A Christmas Carol of fantastic physical feats accompanied as a trained troupe of dancers translate one will believe that’s just an icicle dripIn 2013, Portland Playhouse laid claim by Russian composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky’s the whimsy and intrigue of a young girl’s ping down your cheeks when you reach to the area’s best staging of Charles memorable earworms. (Arlene Schnitzer visit to a magical kingdom into a stunning the finale of this holiday classic. (Keller Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and they Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, Nov wintertime display. (Keller Auditorium, Auditorium, 222 Southwest Clay, Sun Dec never really let up. In the company ’s 29-Nov 30, $35 and up, tickets and info at 222 SW Clay, Dec 5-Dec 24, $35 and up, 27, 3 pm, $45.68-$97.83, tickets and info theater—built in the bones of a former oregonsymphony.org, all ages) tickets and info at portland5.com, all ages) at portland5.com, all ages) ■
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Explore your magick! 729 E. Burnside St. Portland
NOVEMBER 2025
Portland Opera Ascends
In the organization’s new theater, animated production Everest tells a harrowing true story. BY LINDSAY COSTELLO
“T
his building gets us closer to the people,” says Portland Opera artistic director Alfrelynn Roberts. She’s showing off the organization’s new location, occupying three floors in downtown Portland’s World Trade Center complex.
After the 2024 sale of its longtime southeast home base, Portland Opera announced a strategic decision to move across the river in early 2025. Continued activation of downtown Portland is important to Portland Opera, and its new location makes them a nucleus. “Everything that happens on the waterfront is visible here—the Starlight Parade, the Portland Marathon,” says marketing and communications director Christina Post. “We’re hoping to activate our plaza space during these and other events. Our outdoor opera program, Opera a la Cart, could be set up on the plaza.” One set plan connects Portland Opera with the upcoming Winter Light Festival, held February 6-14, 2026. An opera singer will kick off each night of the festival, belting from Portland Opera’s new balcony to a crowd in the plaza below. ”So iconic Portland,” Post adds. Additionally, the organization’s new offices bring opportunities for rental and collaboration. Post describes the music library as “tremendous,” and the space’s sound booths are bookable for private rehearsals and coaching. Portland Opera still plans to hold its larger performances within the theaters at Portland’5—”different locations mean different audience reach,” Post explains—but the organization’s new 200seat theater will host niche, interesting works that might draw a smaller crowd. In mid-December, they’re presenting an immersive showing of Opera Parallèle’s Everest, described by the San Francisco company as a “graphic novel opera.”
Projected on the theater’s three walls, Everest unfolds through the voices of talented singers, like mezzo-soprano Sasha Cooke and tenor Nathan Granner. Opera Parallèle recorded their movements along with their vocals, then illustrator Mark Simmons and cinematographer David Murakami translated those motions into emotive animations. Roberts and Post describe Portland Opera’s production of Everest as interactive. You’ll want to bring a jacket, because the World Trade Center Theatre will be chilly and scattered with fake snow. With a 50-minute runtime, Everest is also a lowstakes operatic work for the unfamiliar, and appropriate for viewers over 12—”you won’t see anyone fall off a glacier,” Post explained. That said, it’s a harrowing (and true) story. Composed by Joby Talbot with libretto by Gene Scheer, Everest’s fragmented, flashback-heavy tale follows three mountaineers as they summit Earth’s highest mountain in the spring of 1996, one of its deadliest seasons on record. Only one of the men made it down. Following two sold-out shows—last season’s The Shining and The Juliet Letters, based on the Elvis Costello album—Portland Opera has seen audiences respond to contemporary takes on the art form. “Surviving in a post-pandemic art world means finding different ways to speak to different people,” Roberts said of Everest’s unorthodox approach. “Ultimately, we want to tell a story that resonates.” ■ Everest shows at Portland Opera’s World Trade Center Theatre, 121 SW Salmon, Fri Dec 12-Sun Dec 21, $56, tickets at portlandopera.org, 12+.
“You’ll want to bring a jacket!”
COURTESY OPERA PARALLÈLE
The cast of “graphic novel opera” Everest, illustrated by Mark Simmons.
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Jeff Tweedy Twilight Override Jeff Tweedy’s fifth solo album, Twilight Override, is a 3LP 30-track collection showcasing his signature blend of wit, insight, and whimsy. Self-produced at The Loft in Chicago and engineered by longtime collaborators Tom Schick and Mark Greenberg, the album includes standout tracks from recent live sets like “Feel Free,” “Enough,” and “Lou Reed Was My Babysitter.” A must-have for any Wilco fan! Everyday Music | 1313 W Burnside | 503-754-0813 | www.everydaymusic.com
Vodka Martini Cocktail Kit
Give the Gift of Local CHEESE! An array of local artisan cheeses and accompanimnents in a keepsake tote, to give to the cheese lover in your life, or use to create a cheese board that slays! Pickup is Dec. 18 & 19 from several locations statewide. *photo may not reflect exact contents Oregon Cheese for the Holidays tasting kits are at www.thewedgeportland.com
$49 Sleek, modern, and unmistakably crafted: Your elevated martini moment, courtesy of Portland’s only grain-to-glass craft vodka. Step into the refined world of the martini with our Vodka Martini Cocktail Kit, designed to take you from home bar to lounge-level with ease and intentionality. This kit is built around our flagship vodka, distilled from Oregon grains, paired with premium vermouth and a flourish of savory garnish. From our Portland distillery to your home bar: here’s to doing the classics the right way. New Deal Distillery & Bottle Shop 900 SE Salmon St | newdealbottleshop.com
French 75 Cocktail Kit $45 Bring Parisian fizz to your home bar with a sparkling classic featuring Portland Dry Gin 33. Elevate your next celebration or elegant evening with our French 75 Cocktail Kit, meticulously assembled to let you craft one of cocktail history’s most stylish sippers. Unpack the kit, shake, strain, pop the cork, top, sip, raise a glass, and let the bubbles do the talking. Cheers to something sparkling and unforgettable! New Deal Distillery & Bottle Shop | 900 SE Salmon St | newdealbottleshop.com
Step into the Exciting World of Anime and Japanese Pop Culture at Kumoricon! Literary Arts
Gifts For Readers and Writers Literary Arts’ cozy cafe and bookstore in Portland’s Central Eastside hosts a variety of writing classes and literary events, making it a wonderful space to share food, drinks, and stories this holiday season. With complimentary gift-wrapping and a carefully curated selection of books in every genre, you are sure to find the perfect gift for readers and writers of all ages, while your dollars support a local nonprofit! Literary Arts Bookstore & Cafe, Open 7am daily | 716 SE Grand Ave | literary-arts.org
Join thousands of passionate fans of anime, manga, and Japanese culture for an unforgettable weekend at Kumoricon, returning to the Oregon Convention Center, November 13–15, 2026! Experience an incredible lineup of cosplay, panels, gaming, musical performances, special guests, and so much more. Designed by fans, for fans, Kumoricon is an all-ages celebration where there’s truly something for everyone. Don’t miss out— register now at kumoricon.org/registration to grab your full weekend membership at the lowest online price!
NOVEMBER 2025
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Give the gift of laughter this holiday season with a Gift Card to Helium Comedy Club! $25+ Helium Comedy Club gift cards are perfect for any occasion. Treat family, friends, or co-workers to something fun and unique! Cards are redeemable for tickets, food, or beverage. Helium Comedy Club is Portland’s Premier Comedy Club, showcasing the best comics of today and tomorrow, LIVE every week. 1510 SE 9th Ave | (503) 583-8464 | portland.heliumcomedy.com
Oregon Zoo Membership
Spread Holiday Cheer with Potted Plants and Gift Cards from Plants on Broadway $25+ Plants on Broadway is the place to find plant-lovers a gift! Whether your loved one is just starting their plant journey, or are an avid collector - we can help you pick out a gift they are sure to love. We will pot up your plant for free with the purchase of a plant and pot for an ideal hostess present. Unsure what to get your plant obsessed loved one? Buy a pot and a gift card! 2755 NE Broadway | (971) 320-7387 | plantsonbroadway.com
Find One-of-a-Kind Nordic Christmas Gifts at ScanFair
The gift that keeps on giving Make their holidays wild! Oregon Zoo electronic gift cards are the easiest way to give great memories — redeemable for ZooLights tickets, daytime visits, memberships and more. An Oregon Zoo membership directly supports the expert care of all the animals at the zoo, and helps sustain conservation efforts around the world and at home in the Pacific Northwest. Visit oregonzoo.org/membership today.
Tickets: $15 Shop over 100 local vendors offering handmade gifts, Nordic crafts, décor, and festive foods at ScanFair, Portland’s annual Old World Nordic Christmas Market. Discover the perfect one-of-a-kind present while enjoying the sights, sounds, and tastes of the season. Dec. 13 & 14 ScanFair Oregon Convention Center nordicnorthwest.org/scanfair
Oregon Zoo | 4001 SW Canyon Road | oregonzoo.org/membership
Lucky Jack Caught Getting High on Mt. Hood! All Flasks $30 Somewhere above Timberline, the snow came sideways, and my compass spun like a barstool. I reached for my “Let’s Get High” flask - liquid courage for low visibility. Shared a swig with a stranded snowboarder; we toasted to elevation, both kinds. Moral: warmth comes in many forms. Still the best thirty bucks I ever spent. Lucky Jack www.luckyjackgear.com
Gift of Yoga: sweat, reset, and grow Customize your gift card for any amount. It can be purchased online or in person. A single class can change a person’s entire day. Imagine a gift of discovery, strength, and calm for the entire year. Our studio offers a warm, welcoming community where students of all ages come together and connect. Visit our website www. bikramyogafremontstreet.com or email us with questions. Bikram Yoga | 4831 NE Fremont St | www.bikramyogafremontstreet.com
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Portlander Treats Late-Night Burrito Injury with Whiskey All Flasks $30 Somewhere behind Cartopia, the burrito bit back. Tongue on fire, pride in ruins, I reached for my “Medicine Flask.” Two sips later, pain gone, balance restored, and I was ready for dessert - bad idea, by the way. Doctors hate this one weird trick. Still the best thirty bucks I ever spent. Lucky Jack www.luckyjackgear.com
ONE GIFT TO RULE THEM ALL Meet the stars of Lord of the Rings at FAN EXPO Portland, January 16-18, 2026 at the Oregon Convention Center. Whether you’re shopping for a Hobbit, a hero, or an anime fan, FAN EXPO Portland tickets make the ultimate gift. From celebrity guests and voice actors to cosplay, comics, and family adventures, it’s a weekend full of stories worth sharing. Get tickets at fanexpoportland.com.
Give The Gift That Never Disappoints Gift Cards: Buy 4 Washes Get 2 Free! Certificates & Gift Cards Sold In Stores & Online Give The Gift Of Service: The manager’s special includes: express detail, exterior wash & towel dry, double liquid polish, clear ceramic seal, armor all tire shine, wheel wipe, fragrance tree selection, interior windows, dusting, vacuuming, center console, door panels & cup holders dressed with interior armor all. Our 6 Month Certificate gives you the freedom to wash at all 20 Washman Locations and provides you exclusive savings of 20 percent of all details, $22 interior cleans, and $5 wheel treatments. www.washmanusa.com | 503-CAR-WASH
The BEST Gift Of The Season is a Scenic Flight With Envi Adventures! The Pacific Northwest is a pretty cool place. It’s full of waterfalls, and rivers, lakes, ocean shorelines, high desert, vibrant cities, vast forests, and oh yeah, volcanoes! Like actual, could explode anytime volcanoes! That’s pretty unique, and the most unique way to experience it all is a scenic flight with Envi Adventures! Check out pricing and book a flight at enviadventures.com
Give $21 to help another person find housing, recovery, and a way forward.
Mention this ad and we will spruce your starter pack up with a bow~
For 21 years, Bridges To Change has walked beside Oregonians rebuilding life after incarceration, addiction, and homelessness. Your gift provides essential hygiene items, work clothes/ boots, rental assistance and much more. Join in our mission to provide housing to those who need it most, support recovery through the lens of lived experience, promote well-being through behavioral health services and advocate for those who systems have ignored. You Make Bridges to Change Possible.
Available at sockdreams.com | Free US Shipping & local pick up options at our headquarters | 7980 SE 17th Ave | (888) 717-6257
bridgestochange.com/donate | Bridges to Change is a 501 (c)(3) tax exempt nonprofit organization. Our tax ID is: 76-0751239
Sock Dreams Extraordinary Thigh High Starter Pack $54
Thigh high socks, done right! Each starter pack includes a pair of Longer Extraordinary Thigh Highs, a pair of our standard length Extraordinary Thigh Highs, and a bottle of Sock Glue -- our preferred means of keeping our socks up! Plus buying them as a bundle gets you a nice discount. If you’ve been wanting to dip your toes into thigh highs but weren’t sure where to start, now you know!
NOVEMBER 2025
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2026 CAT Calender Calling all cat lovers! This 12-month wall calendar showcases a different furtastic feline photo each month. All featured cats and kittens were adopted from Cat Adoption Team (CAT), a local nonprofit cat shelter. $20 each; your purchase supports CAT’s programs and services for cats, kittens, and people in our community. Love cats. Do Good. Support local. Cat Adoption Team | 14175 SW Galbreath Dr, Sherwood 503-925-8903 | catadoptionteam.org/calendar
Give the Gift of Theatre This Holiday Season – Perfect for anyone who loves creativity, culture, and shared experiences! Treat loved ones to an inspiring night of theatre at Portland Playhouse, where every performance sparks joy and connection. Purchase a 3-Show Subscription for Angry, Raucous & Shamelessly Gorgeous (Feb/March 2026), Fat Ham (April/May 2026), and The SpongeBob Musical (May/June 2026); or gift some extra holiday joy with A Christmas Carol (Nov/Dec 2025). Gift Certificates also available in any amount! Portland Playhouse | 602 NE Prescott St. | portlandplayhouse.org | (503) 488-5822
Shows, Events, and Discounts with Profile Theatre’s Mid-Season Membership!
Give the Gift of OMSI This holiday season, give your family the gift of discovery, inspiration, and connection with a membership to the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI)! From holiday outings to weekend-packed adventures, summer camps to everyday moments of wonder, an OMSI membership unlocks it all. Save 20% off OMSI memberships from Nov 22 through Dec 1! Save 15% off all OMSI memberships Dec 2 - Jan 5.
A $150 value for $115! Profile Theatre brings the most indemand playwrights of the modern stage to Portland for a season of thrilling productions and new play development. The 25/26 Season features Jen Silverman and Mike Lew with Tiger Style! by Mike Lew and The Roommate by Jen Silverman. Give the gift of tickets, member-only event invitations, and exclusive discounts with our MidSeason Membership! Profile Theatre | 503-242-0080 | boxoffice@profiletheatre.org
Mermaid Spotted Near Steel Bridge! Witness Smells of Whiskey All Flasks $30 I swear on my flask, she was real - arms inked like a Portland mural, tail shimmering under the Burnside lights. I took a pull from my “Tattooed Mermaid” flask for courage, but when I looked again— poof! Gone. Maybe she swam off… or maybe I just drank her away. Still the best thirty bucks I ever spent. Lucky Jack www.luckyjackgear.com
Oregon Museum of Science and Industry | 1945 SE Water Avenue Learn more at OMSI.edu
Find the perfect card this holiday season! As Portland’s onestop gift shop for more than 35 years, Presents of Mind has a card for every occasion, and every person in your life! Stop by the shop and stock up on cards this season. Whether it’s for a family member, friend or that special someone in your life, we’ve got a card for every occasion and every mood. Many of our cards are designed by local artists too! Visit the shop or call for more. Presents of Mind | 3633 SE Hawthorne Blvd | 503-230-7740
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38 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
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CRAVE Vesper 2 Pleasure Jewelry Redefined
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Fantasy For Adults Only Hollywood District 3137 NE Sandy Boulevard | Downtown Portland 1703 West Burnside Street | Tigard 6440 SW Coronado Drive | Clackamas 5536 SE 82nd Drive fantasyforadultsonly.com
Fantasy For Adults Only Hollywood District 3137 NE Sandy Boulevard | Downtown Portland 1703 West Burnside Street | Tigard 6440 SW Coronado Drive | Clackamas 5536 SE 82nd Drive fantasyforadultsonly.com
Kynx by Brynx Owned Day Collar - Ready to commit?
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Sutil Rich Botanical Lubricant $29
Fantasy For Adults Only Hollywood District 3137 NE Sandy Boulevard | Downtown Portland 1703 West Burnside Street | Tigard 6440 SW Coronado Drive | Clackamas 5536 SE 82nd Drive fantasyforadultsonly.com
Double the Pleasure, Infinite Possibilities for Every Body OhWii Double-Ended Glass Dildo $65 Meet Ohwii, by luxury toy brand Biird — a stunning double-ended glass dildo designed for every body. One end offers curved G-spot pleasure, while the slimmer side invites P-spot exploration (or vice versa—you choose!). New to glass? Prepare for silky-smooth sensations that adapt to your temperature and feel absolutely divine. Includes storage case, keychain, tutorial, and 1-year warranty. This is the perfect gift for adventurous pleasure-seekers. She Bop | 909 N Beech St and 3213 SE Division St | sheboptheshop.com
Sutil Rich by Hathor Aphrodisia is a luxurious, water-based botanical lubricant crafted in Canada with ecocertified ingredients like Horny Goat Weed, Ginseng Root, and Zizyphus Jujuba. Its enhanced viscosity makes it ideal for anal play while soothing delicate tissues. Glycerin- and parabenfree, it arrives in a biodegradable tube— because pleasure should feel good for you and the planet. A thoughtful gift for the eco-conscious sensualist. She Bop | 909 N Beech St and 3213 SE Division St | sheboptheshop.com
Membership Gift Cards and Pre-Paid Punch Cards for Hawks PDX! $30-$350 Hawks PDX, your friendly neighborhood LGBTQ+ Spa, Bathhouse, and Community Club, is now offering Membership Gift Cards and Pre-Paid Punch Cards! A great gift for holidays, birthdays, celebrations, friendships! Gift a Hawks Membership to someone this season! Buy 5 lockers/rooms, get 1 free. Buy 10, get 2 free! See our website at hawkspdx.com for our vibrant range of Events and Happenings at Hawks. Hawks PDX 335 SE 99th Avenue www.hawkspdx.com
NOVEMBER 2025
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Stout Brownie
NWCC Carts Amazing Northwest Cannabis Company Live Resin Carts! Each cartridge contains one full gram of 100% pure live resin. Available in rotating, strain-specific sativa, incica, and hybrid options, grown by highquality farms. Reliable, tasty, and potent!
A festive twist on Hapy Kitchen’s classic brownie, blending Great Notion’s bold stout with warm butterscotch for a rich, cozy 100mg holiday treat. Take it up a level and add a scoop of vanilla ice cream for that extra umami boldness.
Northwest Cannabis Company www.northwestcannabis.com 17937 SW McEwan Rd, Tualatin 971-634-4400
Northwest Cannabis Company www.northwestcannabis.com | 17937 SW McEwan Rd, Tualatin | 971-634-4400
Magic Bubbly
Higher Culture Disposable
Start your holidays on a high note with a limited edition infused sparkling apple cider that is guaranteed to bring the magic to any celebration.
When they say big things come in small packages they are referring to the Higher Culture Disposables. They fit in the palm of your hand and have some of the tastiest high THC distillate in Oregon, boasting 2.5g per disposable cart with classic flavors that leave your lips smacking.
Northwest Cannabis Company www.northwestcannabis.com 17937 SW McEwan Rd, Tualatin 971-634-4400
Northwest Cannabis Company www.northwestcannabis.com 17937 SW McEwan Rd, Tualatin 971-634-4400
High Desert Pure Bath Bomb A medicinal product infused with therapeutic ingredients like full spectrum cannabis extracts, essential oils and minerals such as Epsom salt to provide targeted benefits like muscle relief, relaxation, and skin nourishment. Whether it’s a romantic night in or a solo self-care session, try the all-natural, small batch infused bath bombs to melt the tension and spark relaxation. Northwest Cannabis Company | www.northwestcannabis.com 17937 SW McEwan Rd, Tualatin | 971-634-4400
Farmer’s Friend Disposable Working with farms all across Oregon to bring you your favorite strains from your favorite growers, Farmer’s Friend Disposable are not only sleek, but they come pre-charged and filled with the highest quality full spectrum cannabis oil. With ceramic coils you get the full flavor with every draw. Northwest Cannabis Company www.northwestcannabis.com 17937 SW McEwan Rd, Tualatin 971-634-4400
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NOVEMBER 2025
What Wanders Through a Body?
A new exhibition at Lumber Room compiles corporeal works by Louise Bourgeois and Isabelle Albuquerque. BY LINDSAY COSTELLO
PHOTO BY MARIO GALLUCCI. COURTESY OF NICODIM AND JEFFREY DEITCH GALLERY.
Albuquerque’s bronze figure lounges in front of 76 Bourgeois drawings.
T
he myth of feminine hysteria didn’t start in a Victorian sanatorium. Long before Freud heard about it and thought it sounded super legit, ancient Greek doctors imagined the uterus as a restless “wandering womb,” traversing the body and wreaking emotional havoc. In The Wandering Womb at Lumber Room, Los Angeles-based artist Isabelle Albuquerque revives and digs into that old myth. Her drawings and figural sculptures share space with multimedia works by modern art matriarch Louise Bourgeois. Chief curator Libby Werbel sets the show up as a sensory séance, with sculptures of shapeshifting bodies paired with gestural wall works and olfactory elements. Woman-owned perfumery OLO Fragrance designed distinct scents for both gallery levels– Unconscious on the ground floor, Conscious upstairs. Upon entry, a damp, earthy note wraps around Albuquerque’s figure sculpture “The Left Hand of Darkness” and Bourgeois’ painted bronze ribcage “Torso, Self-Portrait.” On the second level, a resinous fragrance mingles with the beeswax candle burning between the legs of Albuquerque’s plaster figure “Orgy For Ten People In One Body: Two.” Albuquerque’s materials—steel, glowy oil on aluminum, even real blood—pulse with sensual charge. A plaster foot curls in orgasm, a bronze groin fuses with a saxophone, and a disembodied arm, blued with cupric nitrate, sprouts flora. Patinated bronze wildflowers rise from beach wood and lava rock. In “Mother and Child,” from her Alien Spring series, a two-headed steel flower balances on rootlegs. Using 3D scans and multimedium
casts of her own body to create her figural works, Albuquerque reveals transformative states. These are bodies-in-process, wandering in form, melding with and extending Bourgeois’ vision. Bourgeois’ reflections on ritual and the psyche ground the show. Her “Untitled” drawing, in ink and crayon on sheet music paper, reveals a curious pattern of layered orbs. Hovering above Albuquerque’s headless bronze figure, Bourgeois’ Tous le Cinque suite of 76 red bullseye drawings underscores her repetitive process and preoccupation with psychoanalysis. (Learn more on that in the 2008 documentary Louise Bourgeois: The Spider, the Mistress and the Tangerine, looping in the gallery’s screening room.) The Wandering Womb reaches toward other femme artists, too. A takeaway broadside pairs a Hildegard von Bingen quote with a poem by Ariana Reines: “When I feel alone there are two/Women who stay by me. My mother/And my grandmother. Who are dead.” Writer-director Miranda July’s 2024 novel All Fours pulled inspiration from Albuquerque’s Orgy For Ten People series— you can see two pieces from it in this show. Bourgeois’ artistic legacy navigates the tension between repression and release, while Albuquerque finds the cracks and lets hot wax seep through. Their pairing locates the body in its animalistic, inherited, and sense-driven multiplicities. The Wandering Womb doesn’t ask where the body wanders, but what wanders through it: trauma, pleasure, and something beyond words. The Wandering Womb is installed at Lumber Room, 419 NW 9th, Fri-Sat 12-5 pm and by appointment through Sat Jan 31, 2026, lumberroom.com.
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How Making Nonfiction Comics Changed My Mind Shay Mirk and Eleri Harris have written the only primer on ethical comics reporting. BY SUZETTE SMITH
JAMIE THROWER
Readers of the Mercury may fondly remember when we used to make Shay Mirk wear a corn cob costume.
F
rom the jump, I should admit that I have been skeptical of comics journalism. The method is too slow for the 24-hour news cycle, and making comics about complex and evolving issues risks simplifying things that should remain nuanced. However, a new, deeply-considered textbook by former editors at The Nib, Shay Mirk and Eleri Harris, has changed my mind. Making Nonfiction Comics: A Guide for Graphic Narrative draws from both Mirk and Harris’ extensive experience in this still-emerging field. It’s worth noting that Mirk was once a reporter for the Portland Mercury, before their career led them into other journalism jobs. Recently, they were the editor of the 2020 anthology Guantanamo Voices and are currently the publisher at nonfiction comics press Crucial Comix. Don’t let my use of the word “textbook” put you off; Making Nonfiction Comics is highly readable. It’s the sort of book that you can dip in and out of, as needed. Anyone serious about understanding the form will benefit from a complete read through, but it also seems well suited to be taught across a semester. There have been other works used to instruct for this medium, like Lynda Barry’s Making Comics which is arguably more about the rigor of artistic practice or Scott McCloud’s Understanding Comics, which unpacks visual storytelling methods. However, Making Nonfiction Comics is considering and imparting different lessons. “This is not a book about drawing technique,” Mirk writes in the introduction.
Instead, the authors devote chapters to Graphic Reportage and Drawing Nonfiction; they won’t teach you how to draw a dog, but they will teach you to consider which dog to choose and how to present the dog’s actions. Making Nonfiction Comics also contains short interviews with some of the greats of the form. Fans of Joe Sacco, Brian “Box” Brown, Nicole J. Georges, et al., will want to pick this up to read above-average insight from their favs. Each of these breakouts spotlights a digestible lesson—a smart device that imitates how creatives in this field learn from one another over time. While not exactly surprising, it’s laudable that this book is useful to all emerging journalists, not just those who want to make comics. It provides an impressive primer on journalism itself, starting with core ethics and trauma-informed reporting. Skill share and pro tip sections touch on a variety of topics, like interviewing and introductions. As if in answer to my complaint that nonfiction comics can’t be objective, Mirk and Harris state early on that they view objectivity as a myth. The book casts aside the pretense that reporting can be told without bias and instead encourages authors to be upfront about their backgrounds, values, and identities, which shape the stories they tell. Journalism isn’t easy, and neither is making comics. What’s deeply obvious in this work is that Mirk and Harris love what they do and love the work of others. Making Nonfiction Comics is the best “how to” I’ve ever read about the form, and in my mind the only primer that exists for ethical graphic reporting. ■
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BY ANDREA DAMEWOOD ART & LETTERING BY REBECCA NGUYEN
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NOVEMBER 2025
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Escape to the Airport’s Glimmering Secret Bar
For when you need a getaway from your getaway. BY JANEY WONG PHOTOS BY CHAR HARRIS
O
ne of the most stressful parts of the holiday season has got to be the chaos of holiday travel. Overcrowded airports, delayed flights, winter storms—watching news reports this time of year always makes me feel grateful my family celebrations are local. But if you have to jet off somewhere this holiday season, at least your starting and/or ending point is PDX—which post-renovation is undoubtedly one of the most gorgeous airports in the world. If the natural wood architecture and trees in the ticket hall aren’t enough to instill a sense of calm, then I’ll let you in on a local travel hack that will help maintain some semblance of sanity. Aurora, Loyal Legion’s airport “speakeasy,” opened back in February this year. Semi-regular flyer though I am, I haven’t leveraged my travel to access any kind of bougie lounges—so an
The whole vibe is giving the set of an ’80s music video, or at least, somewhere way too chic to be at the airport. (open) secret airport bar is the perfect place to tuck yourself away from the hustle and bustle of other travelers, enjoying a wellcrafted beverage in swanky surroundings. As the bar’s tagline reads, “curiosity opens the door,” so in true speakeasy
Aurora’s menu comprises updated takes on ’80s and ’90s “club classics.” fashion, you’ll have to do a bit of sleuthing to gain access. Without giving too much away, the move is to approach the bartender at Loyal Legion and start asking questions. Once granted access, you’ll step into one of the most aesthetic bars in the city, let alone the airport. The bar, like its namesake, glimmers with a rainbow of light. A wall of glass block separates the bar top from the lounge area, where a squiggly curved couch invites visitors to gaze out the large, iridescent windows overlooking the tarmac (I suggest visiting when it’s still light out to enjoy the full prismatic effect). The whole vibe is giving the set of an '80s music video, or at least, somewhere way too chic to be at the airport. Bar manager Al Wolf Utt describes their
approach to Aurora’s cocktail menu as a renaissance of “'80s and '90s club classics.” Think Cosmos, appletinis, a Sex on the Beach—drinks that had their heyday, but were cast aside as passé once craft cocktails came to prominence. Now that liqueurs have improved in quality and fresh juices are in the mix, Wolf Utt thinks it’s high time these cocktails got an upgrade and made a comeback. Frozen and warm beverages are slated to hit the menu for the winter season, including the Good Soup, a savory ramen-inspired toddy. Aurora has a collaboration with fellow airport tenants Missionary Chocolates in the works, which includes a new mixable chocolate and a custom chocolate medallion based off of Aurora’s Borealis Old Fashioned.
Airports are liminal by nature, but Wolf Utt has been surprised by the number of locals who come to simply hang out. Recently, they’ve noticed a surge of people who are using the MAX to get there (the bar is conveniently pre-security), something Wolf Utt proclaims is “really cool and a smart decision if you’re going to be out drinking.” The airport crowd is a diverse one; the space is its own microcosm where the people watching is elite. “It’s a space for people that need this space right now,” Wolf Utt says. ■ Aurora, Inside Loyal Legion at Portland International Airport, Monday–Friday, 4 pm–8 pm , Saturdays 2 pm–8 pm , instagram.com/drinkataurora
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NOVEMBER 2025
DO THIS, DO THAT
WINTER
2025
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The City’s Coolest Art and Cultural Events This Winter 2025-26 BY BRI BREY, LINDSAY COSTELLO, NOLAN PARKER, SUZETTE SMITH, AND JANEY WONG
Matt Rogers: Christmas in December December 7, Aladdin Theater
COURTESY ARTIST
‘A Larger Reality’: Ursula K. Le Guin THROUGH FEBRUARY 8, 2026
(VISUAL ART) More than a visionary writer, Ursula K. Le Guin modeled an ethical way of living. She thought deeply about oppression, weaving elements of pacifism and environmental stewardship into the vast speculative worlds of her books. And while her name is synonymous with sci-fi mastery, she’s also a bona fide Portland icon—who among us hasn’t heard someone’s humblebrag about once glimpsing her on TriMet or near her Northwest Portland home? Curated by her son, Theo Downes-Le Guin, this exhibition pairs ephemeral objects with interactive installations—visitors can test out Le Guin’s home typewriter, for instance—honoring the lasting influence and boggling imagination of the Hugo Award winner. (Oregon Contemporary, 8371 N
Interstate, FREE, oregoncontemporary.org, all ages) LINDSAY COSTELLO
Cafe Rowan presents A Culinary Harmony THROUGH MAY 9, 2026
(FOOD & DRINK) Portland’s no white tablecloth town, so it follows that the ‘Michelin Guide’ doesn’t make its annual rounds here, despite our status as one of the country’s most exciting food cities. But if you have a taste for the finer things and maintain a bucket list of fine-dining establishments to hit around the US, Cafe Rowan owner and chef Spencer Ivankoe is saving you a plane ticket (or several) by presenting this collaborative dinner series with Michelin-level and nationally celebrated chefs at his unassuming corner cafe. From fall 2025 to spring 2026, chefs including Clover Hill’s Sam Rogers, Andrew Zimmerman of Chicago
restaurants Sepia and Proxi, and Yuan Tang from DC’s Rooster & Owl will bring new culinary perspectives to Portland during their two-night residencies. Chef’s kiss. (Cafe Rowan, 4437 SE Cesar Estrada Chavez, $125-$145 per person plus $35-$65 drink pairings, caferowan.com) JANEY WONG
coming-of-age narrative. The emotional core of the original novel remains, however. The tale of family, sacrifice, and growing up will be acted out by local and national artists in this co-production with Cincinnati Playhouse. (Portland Center Stage, 128 NW 11th, $25-$58, pcs.org, all ages) BRI BREY
Louisa May Alcott’s ‘Little Women’
Rothko Pavilion Grand Opening
NOVEMBER 16–DECEMBER 21
NOVEMBER 20–23
(THEATER & PERFORMANCE) Are you a Jo, a Meg, a Beth, or an Amy? Louisa May Alcott’s character types can tell you as much about a person as their astrological sign. This adaptation of the 1868 novel by playwright Lauren Gunderson modernizes the saga of the March sisters, placing the legendary author at the center of her own story to grapple with the characters she created as she participates in their
(VISUAL ART) The biggest development at the city’s biggest art institution, Portland Art Museum’s grand opening of its Rothko Pavilion marks a huge milestone for the city—and a watershed moment for through traffic on SW Madison. PAM will celebrate the unveiling with four days of free admission, performances, curator talks, and artmaking activities, kicking off with a ribbon-cutting ceremony at
50 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE noon on November 20 and a Museum Open Late party from 5-9 pm. DJs Ambush and Anjali are on the slate, along with a mystery DJ guest who I’m just going to go ahead and guess is Kyle MacLachlan (just a guess!). (Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park, FREE, pam.org, all ages) SUZETTE SMITH
Sagra del Radicchio + Cider
‘L’Inferno’ live scored by Lori Goldston and Corey J. Brewer
the oppositional, yet complementary, notes of bitter
NOVEMBER 23
chefs, and makers” will celebrate unsung winter
(FILM/MUSIC) Cellist Lori Goldston—lauded for her work with PNW bands Earth, Mirah, and Nirvana, along with her session collaborations with David Byrne, Parenthetical Girls, and Ô Paon—just made a handful of gripping appearances at Improvisational Summit of Portland in October. This performance will see Goldston’s atmospheric river of drones merge and swirl with the cinematic subtleties of fellow Seattlite Corey J. Brewer. The duo will live score the 1911 Italian silent film ‘L’Inferno’, in which the audience is taken on a harrowing journey through the nine circles of Hell. Heavy hangs the heads of those who miss this sonic delight. (Tomorrow Theater, 3530 SE Division, 7 pm, $25, tomorrowtheater.org, not rated) NOLINA PARKETTA
Sean Sherman in Conversation With Kate Nelson NOVEMBER 24
(READINGS & TALKS) November is Native American Heritage Month. And one of the sacred and accessible ways we can honor Indigenous people is to learn about their foodways, which include holistic and sustainable systems that have been in practice for generations. Ogala Lakota Sioux chef and James Beard Award winner Sean Sherman is at the forefront of this movement, sharing cultural knowledge through his nonprofit, the Indigenous Food Lab, and his restaurant, Owamni. In his second book, ‘Turtle Island: Food and Traditions of the Indigenous Peoples of North America’, Sherman fills pages with rich narrative histories and over 100 “ancestral and modern recipes”—sweet potato soup with dried venison and chile oil, sweet corn pudding with woodland berry sauce, and wild rice-crusted walleye cakes among them. To celebrate the book’s release, he’ll chat with his ‘Turtle Island’ co-author Kate Nelson. (Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7 pm, FREE-$45, powells.com) JW
DECEMBER 7
(FOOD & DRINK) This edible event will be bittersweet, but not in the complex-feeling sense of the word. We’re talking flavor profiles here–specifically radicchio and sweet cider. Organized by the Culinary Breeding Network and Northwest Cider Association, 35 tables “curated by farmers, breeders, ingredients like quince, medlar, buckwheat, barley, dry beans, and cabbage alongside unique cider pairings spanning different styles and apple varietals. I’m hoping to get some good inspo for hibernation season recipes. (The Redd, 831 SE Salmon, 3 pm, $53.65, chicoryweek.com, all ages) JW
Matt Rogers: ‘Christmas in New Year’s Eve Cowboy Prom: December’ COURTESY ARTIST
Jenny Don’t and the Spurs DECEMBER 31
(MUSIC) A New Year’s Eve tradition several years running with deep roots at the Landmark Saloon, Cowboy Prom with Jenny Don’t and the Spurs will ring in 2026 with a whiskey-soaked good time. You can be sure that this boot scootin’ party will be overflowing with bolo ties, pearl snap buttons, and 10-gallon hats. Jenny Don’t and the Spurs’ brand of garage-honky-tonk-country provides the perfect backdrop for a chandelier-swinging celebration. Local rockabilly royalty the Dalharts open. Bust out your boots and get to two-steppin’. (Polaris Hall, 635 N Killingsworth, 9 pm, $62.23, polarishall.com, 21+) BB
‘Twinless’
Joe Sacco
NOVEMBER 30
DECEMBER 2
(FILM) The story of two men who meet in a twin-loss
(READINGS & TALKS) There are very few nonfiction comics makers who put as much time and research into their work as Joe Sacco. Trained in journalism at Oregon State University, Sacco’s autobiographical comics about his visits and interactions with people living in Palestine and Bosnia gained notoriety in the ’90s for their approachability and insight. He’s been seemingly trying to unravel the complexities of war ever since. His latest book, ‘The Once and Future Riot’, covers the 2013 instances of communal violence in Uttar Pradesh, India called the Muzaffarnagar riots, why incidents like it have happened before, and why they’re likely to happen all over again. (Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7 pm, FREE, powells.com, all ages) SS
support group and forge an unlikely connection, this winding tale of co-dependency and buried secrets balances hilarious moments with heavy grief and drama. Filmed in Portland, there’s plenty of local scenery to enjoy, making it a fun and heartfelt watch not only for the fantastic storytelling, but for the closeness to our city’s heart. At its premiere at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival, it won the Audience Award for US drama, and was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize. Take this opportunity to see it on the big screen (for free!) if you missed it during its first run. (PAM CUT’s Tomorrow Theater, 3530 SE Division, 7 pm, FREE, tomorrowtheater.org, R) BB
A John Waters Christmas COURTESY SHOREFIRE
‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ with Rogue Apostles NOVEMBER 29
(COMEDY) The seasonal sojourns of America’s favorite cult movie maker, sicko author, and filth elder John Waters have always been fun—he’s funny, irreverent, and unexpected. But during the Trump administration’s first run, Waters’ holiday stand-up shows became sort of beautiful and sustaining. Like, he’s still a pervert. But there’s something about someone shining—so brightly—their filthy light upon the world that gets at the
ES RI
aladdin-theater.com, 21+) SS
FF
3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $68.36,
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holiday spirit. (Aladdin Theater,
CHRI
(FILM/PERFORMANCE) 2025 has been dotted with lively/lusty 50th-anniversary celebrations and screenings of Jim Sharman’s campy, risque musical ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’. No place in Portland has celebrated harder than Clinton Street Theater, which has held weekly showings since 1978. As a special Thanksgiving weekend treat, XRAY.FM drag comedy divas Rogue Apostles trot out a shadow cast performance, showing us THEIR version of ‘Rocky Horror.’ (Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 10:30 pm, $20, cstpdx.com, R) SS
DECEMBER 1
Homie Fest Winter Edition DECEMBER 6
(MUSIC) After a seven-year sabbatical, Homie Fest is back in a big way in 2025. The fest’s grand return lit up Swan Dive’s two stages in late June with a deeply diverse lineup focusing on Brown and queer artists from the region. The first-ever winter edition of Homie Fest will be similarly expansive in both genre fluidity and identities represented on stage. Favorites of this mini-fest include the punishing dance-noise of headliners Sea Moss, Talking Contest’s psych ramblings (the band includes ex-members of the Blood Brothers, Past Lives, and !!!), the extremely sexy beats of PsychoTropika, and the astral spacescapes of Cosmos Dark. (Swan Dive, 727 SE Grand, 7 pm, instagram.com/homiefestpdx, 21+) NP
DECEMBER 7
(COMEDY) One of the most important questions of our time has to be “Have you heard of Christmas?” Not afraid to ask the tough questions, famous vers-bottom Matt Rogers—of ‘Las Culturistas’, ‘Fire Island’, and ‘Q-Force’ fame—has done the near-impossible by creating a modern Christmas classic, double penetrating the gay yuletide with a comedy special and its companion album, both entitled ‘Have You Heard of Christmas?’ On both the special and the album, Rogers really does the work, letting us know that Santa and Jesus met at college in Bethlehem, that the Grinch is a grower, not a shower, and that Mrs. Claus isn’t one to be cheated on. Come, let us adore him. (Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 7 pm, $57.33, aladdin-theater.com, all ages) NP
Dying Wishmas DECEMBER 12
(MUSIC) Have you been a good slam dancer this year? Santa has heard our pleas and is rewarding us with an impossibly heavy, nine-band showcase featuring both touring and local crushers, largely fronted by femmes and/or queers—Santa’s (and Jesus’) favorite! Headliners Dying Wish are touring behind their massive new album ‘Flesh Stays Together’, and the Big Boy homos come strapped with three EPs, including their ripper new ‘Love Songs EP’. Gouge Away (now partly Portland-based) released one of 2024’s best albums with ‘Deep Sage’, and our neighbors to the south, Eugene’s Boltcutter, absolutely have one of the best albums of 2025 with ‘Still Broke’ (check out our Best Albums of 2025 on page 27). Static Dress, Gridiron, Orthodox, Misery Whip, and End of Dayz pull up to round out a bill that might just entice Mrs. Clause out of pit retirement. (Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th, 4:15 pm, $50-$62.50, roselandpdx.com, all ages) NP
The Jinkx & DeLa Holiday Show
Dec 22, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
METTIE OSTROWSKI
NOVEMBER 2025
‘Marty Supreme’
XNY-STAR MAX
OPENING DECEMBER 25
(FILM) Because he is nothing if not vaguely unpredictable, Josh Safdie (who is notably not working with his brother at the moment) has directed a ping pong drama about a table tennis star pushing his luck to get rich and/or famous in the 1950s. Marty Supreme stars Timothée Chalamet as the titular Marty, whose character is based on the real-life hustler, ping pong medalist, and dedicated fedora wearer Marty Reisman. Cast is weird and stacked, in typical Safdie fashion: Gwyneth Paltrow, Tyler, the Creator, and Fran Drescher make appearances. (Playing in wide release, not yet rated) LC
Matt Dorrien & Friends Wintertide Wassail
Typhoon / Black Belt Eagle Scout / Lost Lander
DECEMBER 19
JANUARY 23-24, 2026
(MUSIC) In the deepest, darkest depths of despair during the COVID-19 pandemic, I truly believe Portland’s Matt Dorrien saved lives when he dropped his four-song holiday EP, ‘My Christmas Plea’, in December 2020. With three original songs and a delightfully understated cover of “White Christmas,” it’s been a staple in my household every year since its release from the last weekend of November to December 25th. Dorrien’s inaugural Wintertide Wassail will feature friends from his label Mama Bird, as well as other cheery Portland artists, including Isabeau Waia’u Walker, Alela Diane, Nick Delffs, and more. To make the yuletide extra gay, it’ll be an all-ages affair—bring the kiddos and introduce them to good holiday music early! (Polaris Hall, 635 N Killingsworth, 8 pm, $26.05, polarishall.com, all ages) NP
(MUSIC) With a rotating number of musicians and instruments, Typhoon started their reign as Portland’s largest band two decades ago, cracking 14 members at times. Anchored by singer-songwriter Kyle Morton, bassist Toby Tanabe, guitarist Dave Hall, drummer Alex Fitch, and violinist/vocalist Shannon Steele, the band masterfully combines rock with orchestral arrangements. As time has worn on, members have chosen other career paths, settled down to have children, or toured with other bands, but the core crew will reunite for two nights of peak-Portland nostalgia to celebrate their 20th birthday. The shows will be opened by Indigenous queer post-rocker Black Belt Eagle Scout on night one and indie pop band Lost Lander on night two. (Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark, 8 pm, $43.76, revolutionhall.com, all ages) BB
The Jinkx & DeLa Holiday Show
Cate Le Bon
DECEMBER 22
JANUARY 28, 2026
(THEATER & PERFORMANCE) After eight years of extravagant holiday shows from drag queen icon besties Jinkx Monsoon and BenDeLaCreme, I think it’s time to ask: Is this just ‘The Nutcracker’ now? Do we still need ‘The Nutcracker’? In this theatrical tradition, the pair interview sentient snacks before being kidnapped and held for ransom by holiday traditions. Imagine if that lay on the shoulders of a junior high drama department. Well, it’s not a canon work yet; it changes every year. Don’t miss the singing-dancing sweetness of these two very different queens serving Christmas—because I’ll be telling your kids this is ‘The Nutcracker’. (Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7 pm, $54.50+, portland5.com, all ages) SS
(MUSIC) Cate Le Bon’s avant-garde artistic output has garnered comparisons to David Bowie, Nico, and Laurie Anderson, and while that may seem like a stressful and towering list of musical iconoclasts for the Welsh musician to live up to, here’s the thing: It’s accurate. Le Bon’s new album ‘Michelangelo Dying’ crafts surreal soundscapes with a neopsychedelic, arty sensibility that feels both Cocteau Twins-esque and completely singular. She’ll drop by Revolution Hall to perform selections from the album, which opens with the silky, beguiling “Jerome”: “Gently read my name/Cry/And find me here/I’m eating rocks.” (Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark, 8 pm, $38.11, revolutionhall.com, all ages) LC ■
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53
Savage Love BY DAN SAVAGE
Quickies! I’m a 34-year-old woman who has been with a man I really enjoy for three years. There are a few reasons I don’t think we’re going to last forever. Most importantly: I’m not planning to have kids. He knows that but he wants them. Do I cut it off or let it run its course? Allowing someone to live in hope is fine… so long as there’s hope. Allowing someone to live in false hope by making vague statements that could be interpreted more than one way… that’s selfish and manipulative. So, if what you mean by, “not planning,” is, “never gonna,” you need to make that unambiguously clear to the man you’re enjoying. If a guy refers to his wife as his “wife” in quotation marks… what does that mean? It could mean she’s his wife in name only… or it could mean he wants you to believe she’s his wife in name only… but it doesn’t mean his marriage is open or that this woman’s “husband” can be trusted.
topher Turner on daddyhunt.com (“where you never have to lie about your age to meet other men”) eleven years ago. Armistead and Christopher are still together. So. I’m married to the woman I gave my virginity to. After decades together, we have decided to experience others to spread joy in this dark world. Is there a term for someone who is not a virgin, because they’ve had sex thousands of times, but they’ve only ever had sex with one person? If there isn’t a term for someone like me, can I propose “monogamy virgin”? A “monogamy virgin” sounds like someone who’s had sex with thousands of people but has never made a monogamous commitment to anyone. So, your proposed term isn’t going to work—and even if I could pull a better term to describe you out of my ass, years could go by before it came into wide enough use to do you any good. And we need you spreading the joy right now, not ten years from now!
I am sexually active at 87. I can’t find any gay men in Olympia, Washington, where I live. Where is a good place to start?
Cis 28-year-old female from somewhere in the desert. My question is this: Do you have to be attracted physically to someone to be in a BDSM relationship? Specifically, a Dom/sub relationship?
Music mogul David Geffen was in his eighties when he met his husband David Armstrong on seekingarrangements. com (“the premier dating site for success-minded singles”) two years ago. Geffen and Armstrong are now getting divorced. Armistead Maupin was in his seventies when he met his husband Chris-
Blindfolds are your friend! P.S. A good blindfold can help you enjoy a BDSM play session with a Dom you aren’t into physically, but a relationship—a non-companionate one—will require some spark of physical attraction. That said, lots of people wind up with partners they weren’t physically attracted to at first because they
had other things in common — and a shared interest in BDSM is an important commonality, one you might be able to build on. Any clever tricks for avoiding Cialis side effects like headache/congestion? Flonase is your friend! No question! Thank you! No answer? You’re welcome? I have a crush on a friend and I’m not sure they’re interested in me. Do I say something and risk the awkwardness? Or is it not worth it? “If they’re into you, you’ll know. If they’re not, you’ll be confused.” That quote gets passed around a lot— I’ve seen it all over social media—and I’m not sure who said it first, so don’t know who to “credit.” While it gets a lot of clap emojis wherever it’s posted, I think it’s lousy advice. It may be true that confusing signals usually indicate disinterest, but you never know. P.S. I recently ran into a guy I had a crush on when he was a waiter at one of my favorite restaurants. As it turns out, he had a crush on me. But I was giving off confusing signals (I didn’t wanna creep on a pretty waiter, so I was reserved) and he was giving off confusing signals (he didn’t wanna hit on a customer, so he was businesslike). Neither of us were willing to risk a moment’s awkwardness, both of us missed out on dick. There wasn’t a friendship at stake, I realize, just a hot waiter, but now I wish I’d done more than tip 30 percent.
Confession: I’ve been giving blowjobs to a friend’s boyfriend. She’s just a friend, not my best friend. I feel bad but don’t want to stop. I wish there was some detail that made me feel better—I asked if their relationship is sexless (it’s not), I asked if she gives him blowjobs (she does), I asked if they’re open (they’re not)—but he’s got the most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen. Can I still think of myself as a good person? Does it make any difference that I’m gay and I might be meeting a need that my friend can’t? Are you good? No. Are you giving? Yes. P.S. “But the dick was amazing” doesn’t win you a “Get Out of Shitty Friend Jail Free” card. We enjoy sex in public places—we’ve done it in a hospital, a club, offices, hotel pool, highway overpass—but don’t want to get caught by security cameras. No one looks at security camera footage unless a crime has been committed and reported—so, if you’re careful not to commit any crimes yourself (or any additional crimes) and don’t have sex where other people are committing crimes, it’s unlikely that anyone will review the security camera footage you’re almost certainly been caught on already. Have fun out there!
GOT PROBLEMS? YES, YOU DO! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love! Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan! Become Dan’s Sub at savage.love/subscribe
JOE NEWTON
54 THE MERCURY’S WINTER GUIDE
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POP QUIZ PDX
A. Panda Express B. Dave’s Hot Chicken C. Arby’s D. Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Old Spaghetti & Oil Change Factory (now serving margaritas!)
Dog-killer (and wildly unqualified) Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem visited Portland’s ICE facility in October to spread lies and shit-talk our city—while ordering takeout from WHICH of the following restaurants?
TOM COOK
In September, Oregon #4 Gov. Tina Kotek made the highly annoying choice to HONOR the recently assassinated (also transphobic, racist, homophobic, and antisemitic) right-wing MAGA influencer Charlie Kirk by doing WHAT?
A. Calling for a full minute of silence during a legislative session B. Lowering state flags at public facilities to half-staff C. Officially declaring “Charlie Kirk Day” across the state D. Kissing the ring on the tiny, bruised hand of Donald Trump
In October, Trail Blazers coach Chauncey Billups was arrested for allegedly doing WHAT?
#6
COURTESY ICE
#5
A. Chick-fil-A B. Burgerville C. Voodoo Doughnuts D. Spitty’s Saliva-Filled Milkshake Hut
A. The Pacific Northwest’s largest pickleball complex B. An affordable housing complex with retail C. A 68,000-square-foot music venue D. They’re turning the mall into one big Hot Dog on a Stick
CHIP SOMODEVILLA/GETTY IMAGES
This past summer we #3 learned that Texas financier Tom Dundon was purchasing the Portland Trail Blazers along with help from three financial groups—one of whom owns WHICH of the following fast food chains?
In May 2025, it was #2 announced that a really big, exciting project was going to be built at the Lloyd Center Mall. OH BOY! Which project is it?
A. Participating in Mafia-backed, rigged poker games B. Illegally betting on European pro basketball C. Bribing an NBA official to get better draft picks D. Breaking into the Louvre and stealing the crown jewels
Answer sassy-ass local trivia questions like these practically every Thursday at portlandmercury.com with POP QUIZ PDX!
ANSWERS
CORBIN SMITH
A. Sniffing out drugs B. Sniffing out bombs C. Sniffing out the butts of criminals D. Sniffing out why cops are constantly crying about being underfunded
COURTESY PORTLAND POLICE BUREAU
Back in January, #1 Portland Police bought themselves a $150,000 robot dog. What’s the purpose of this nightmarish pooch anyway?
BRUCE BENNETT/GETTY IMAGES
BY WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Hey, smarty butt! How much do YOU remember about what happened in Portland in 2025? Take the quiz below and let’s find out!
1: B, 2: C, 3: A, 4: B, 5: B, 6: A
Know That 2025!