FOREWARD TO THE SECOND EDITION
This book was originally published in 2009. In 2023, I published this second edition and removed a few falsehoods that crept into the original version. I removed hundreds of typos. I’ve also added a few paragraphs that were not in the original. While the changes are only few, they are significant enough to further elevate the energy-level of the book itself. I have not added commentary on events or people post-2009 but maintained the 2009-perspective while editing according to my updated understanding of the levels. I’ve also made the book more timeless by removing reference to things and people that likely won’t be relevant decades from now.
CHAPTER ONE
YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO INFINITY
Infinity is everything, therefore it is my only point of reference. My relationship with it is immersed in everything I am and do in everyday life. Infinity is absolute. It is the only thing not subject to relativity. There is no worldly authority. I am answerable and accountable to the Most High only. The Supreme Creator of Universes is both the source of Infinity and is everything “within” it. This is not an attitude learned in books or from teachers but rather one cultivated through meditation, contemplation and unbending, eternally focused dedication and devotion to the highest truth no matter whether that highest truth agrees with my or any others opinion or not.
You can arrive at the highest truth of truths by combining the power of your own intention with devotion to the Divine as you understand it. This can but does not have to be related to any religious or spiritual path. You have this inherent ability.
Infinity is. Period. Anything after the “is” is not infinity, but an aspect of it. One such aspect is that endless expanse of multiple universes and dimensions. In such an awesome context, up-down, left-right, small-big, me-other, important-unimportant, past-future are hilariously artificial and relative concepts. What is “big?” How “big” is planet Earth compared to the human body? How “big” is planet Earth compared to the galaxy? What is true depends on context. The only absolute is existence itself. God’s project is so huge that it’s easy to “get lost” in it–which is why one fixed point of reference, one absolute and unmoving, eternally reliable point of orientation and guidance, remains. I sometimes symbolize this absolute as a light shining eternally.
The prime aspect of the Most High is radiant Love. This Love is an
energy so profound and intense that it has the power to create all of these worlds and souls.
To some, all of this may sound mystical, but it’s actually quite practical. When a “problem” appears in daily life, I contrast it with Infinity. What is my “problem” compared to Infinity? In moments I recognize the true depth and height of life as compared to my “problem” I can’t help but break out in laughter. Put into proper perspective, my “personal issues” are nothing but a tiny dot of insignificance and I move on with relief.
In the presence of this Force that creates Universes, no “problem” can persist. In light of the outrageous abundance, prosperity and beauty of Infinity, all earthly importance, gains and pains pale.
Infinity is all that was, is, and ever will be. It is one, undivided. Some say Infinity is “everything and nothing”. Some describe it as a vast nothingness. But that is actually already one split too many. Since “nothing” is also something, namely a bunch of “nothingness”, one can only say that Infinity is Everything. Period. The oneness of all, along with the exclamation “Period!” supports the mind in not getting lost in all kinds of abstractions and secondary considerations. The same goes for anything else. Many speak of light and darkness, but as there is only one, there is only radiant light. Darkness as a thing does not exist. One cannot “shine darkness into a room” or turn on a “darkness-switch”. Darkness is merely a lower gradient of light on a scale, but it is still light, even if to your eyes it sometimes appears as if there is none.
All within Infinity always changes. Infinity itself is the only thing that never changes; it just is. The more you refer to that which is unchanging, the more you refer to absolute truth, as opposed to changing truth and relative truth. In this sense, the ocean is more real than its single waves.
Infinity is the absolute of mathematics, physics, philosophy, religion, psychology, and spirituality. But in this book, I would like to advertise it as practically useful on a very real, personal and day-to-day level. In fact, I attribute the entirety of my worldly success and inner
happiness to it. I have long ago given up trying to be smarter than it. It teaches me humility. Why? Because contained within it is the creative force that has taken care of trillions of lives. It teaches me that in order to expand, I must be more like it. That would mean to stop focusing on that tiny dot within the circle and become aware of more. It teaches me that anything one can imagine has some form of existence somewhere. It teaches me that every grain of sand contains Infinity and that, from another viewpoint, an entire universe has the size of a grain of sand. It teaches me that, holographically, when I have a problem with one little thing, in that moment in time, I have a problem with everything and when I have love for one little thing, in that moment I have love for everything.
It teaches me that, as an aspect of Infinity, there are thousands of things I could be doing today, thousands of paths I could be taking in any given moment, trillions of things I could be seeing, thinking, hearing, and choosing.
You are a unique viewpoint of Infinity and, in this way, connected to all-that-is forever. So, from all-that-is, choose wisely what you wish to dedicate yourself to.
As a human strolling through the supermarket of the universe, you probably won’t choose every item in every aisle. That would be overwhelming. And you probably won’t be choosing nothing, lest someone choose for you. And even “no choice” is a choice. So it seems that as a human you have a choice about everything except choice itself–that is the only thing you cannot switch off.
Understand that choice is a matter of intent and decision, not a matter of desire (in the sense of longing or neediness). When you desire something, you are implying a lack, implying Infinity is lacking, implying that the thing desired is not available in the Infinite supermarket. Paradoxically, desire separates us from that which we desire.
Choice is not a matter of resisting something either. When you resist something, you are focusing on it and thereby giving it more importance and reality than you would like to. Paradoxically,
resistance draws us to the things we do not desire. If in the supermarket you are busy fighting the butcher and his meat, you are where you say you don’t want to be: At the butcher, butchering yourself.
The comedy of life is not getting what we want but instead getting what we don’t want. Relief from suffering comes from relaxing desire on one end and resistance on the other end; relaxing both attachment and aversion (which are actually two sides of the same coin). Having an aversion towards one thing equals having a desire towards another thing, and vice versa. Rather than strongly desiring something, one merely chooses to focus on a specific reality (that aspect of Infinity). Rather than resisting something, one then merely chooses to stop focusing on a specific reality (that aspect of Infinity). So relax. Searching for a better life implies an insufficient life and attracts even more insufficiency. Relax the wants and not-wants, and be at peace with life as it is. Instead, ask yourself, “What is my relationship with Infinity?”
CHAPTER TWO
THE SCALE OF ENERGY LEVELS
As everything is Infinity, everything is also Energy. The physical universe, with its space and time, its objects, nature, people, and planets, is all energy. The non-physical universe of thought, emotion, spirit, and various planes is also energy. This singular energy manifests spectrally in many forms, shapes, qualities, radiations, and densities. An analogy: steam, water and ice are one thing manifesting in different qualities. The premise of this book is that there are clearly definable, perceivable and achievable qualities or “levels” of energy, and that each level corresponds with the following:
Specific states of mind and emotion
Specific words, behaviors and actions
Specific surroundings, environments, objects and places
Specific qualities, moods and intentions
Specific methods of “moving upward”
Specific modes of perception and truth
These are also levels of consciousness and emotion. They are levels of “vibration.” Everything that exists gives off a certain radiation that can be defined on a scale and in comparison to everything else. Depending on your place on the scale and your intentions, something will give you a “bad vibe” or a “good vibe.” What something is, is absolute. What something is to and for you and others is relative. As an example, for one person a fit of anger is a breakthrough, while for another person it’s a relapse. The fact that it has a different meaning and usefulness for each individual does not mean that anger is not generally a certain distinct level of energy as
compared to others.
In general, the lower one’s emotional state on the scale, the less energy is available, and there will be a more distorted perception and a weaker ability to feel, think, act, and create. The higher one’s emotional state on the scale, the more inner resources one has. The energy you radiate is the reality you get back. You experience the world not as it is, but as you are.
This scale of energy is designed to benefit you in many ways. With it, you will be able to determine which state you are in and which step of the latter to take next. It will eventually become easier for you to support your fellow man as well. You will also be able to quickly identify the energy-quality of various places, people, objects, foods, movies, music, books and even societies and countries. Overall, life will start making sense in a deeper way.
The scale allows for spectral-perception rather than conventional dual perception. Dual-perception says “X is good, Y is bad.” SpectralPerception allows for more than two items, it allows for dozens or even hundreds. Good/Bad then becomes dependent on context and on where one is on the overall scale. To understand this and also grasp how neither the popular philosophies of absolutism nor relativism are fully valid, imagine a thermometer that measures hot and cold. These are not actually opposites and neither are there only two factors. In fact, “cold” does not even exist–there are only different gradients of hot, very hot and less hot. There is only one thing; the lower on the scale, the colder it is. And whether one point of the thermometer is “hot” or “cold” depends on which point of the scale one is looking at or moving from. In this sense, even a socalled “high level” might be very detrimental for someone, an overwhelm, as in pouring a waterfall over a plant in an attempt to water it. The fridge will be too cold for you but just right to store meat. The oven will often be too hot for you, but just right to cook that meat.
The absolutist says, “This is good, that is bad, universally. Period.”
The relativist says, “Nothing is good or bad. It’s only your opinion
that this is bad.”
The religious or political absolutist is correct in understanding there is that which is closer to truth and that which is further away from truth. His error comes in only seeing two things without spectral discernment. The error that usually follows is that he judges people who are elsewhere on the scale as “lower” and himself as “morally superior”.
The academic, philosophical, or political relativist is correct in understanding that good/bad is a matter of perspective. He is incorrect in thinking “everything is the same” or that it does not matter whether one moves toward truth or away from it. If abused, his stance becomes moral relativism, which then says, “One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.” While this statement is correct, it fails to point out that the terrorist’s energy-level on the scale is lower than that of a person who kills in self-defense and much lower than a person who never kills.
Before I go further, take a look at the short version of the scale. I use an arbitrary scale from 1-1000 for pragmatic purposes, although I could have also used a spiral, concentric circles, a 1-10 scale or anything else for that matter.
High Levels of Energy
1000 Infinity / Divinity
700 Oneness, Non-Duality, Vast Awareness
600 Bliss, Peace, Serenity, Lightness
570 Ecstasy, Exaltation
550 Unconditional Love
540 Humor, Happiness
530 Love, Intuition, Appreciation
510 Power, Initiative, Integrity
505 Beauty, Creativity, Imagination
475 Joy, Creativity
Mid Levels of Energy
450 Intelligence, Knowledge, Reason
400 Acceptance, Interest, Attention, Neutrality
320 Willingness, Kindness, Optimism, Activity
275 Courage, Relaxation, Eagerness, Fun
200 Contentment, Routine, Functionality, Boredom
Low Levels of Energy
190 Pride, Superiority, Arrogance
180 Antagonism, Criticism, Discontent, Complaint, Blame
160 Anger, Domination, Aggression, Coldness
120 Craving, Need, Compulsion, Unfulfilled Desire
100 Fear, Worry, Shyness, Inferiority, Paranoia
80 Grief, Sorrow, Self-Pity
50 Apathy, Despair, Depression, Hopelessness
30 Guilt, Shame, Psychosis, Humiliation, Hatred
The scale represents a way of relating to the world, a method of structured and discerning thinking. When the mind understands what is going on and can categorize events, its confusion calms, and attention that was previously scattered and preoccupied is freed for more important matters. Not only will learning the scale allow you to view human behavior and all of life in a new light, but enable you to make surprisingly accurate predictions about patterns in life. If you know the energy-field of something, you also know what can normally be expected from that energy-field. Then, rather than being condemning and indignant about various events, you will be able to view them with more compassion and even know how to best approach them.
Energy tends to attract like energy, just as birds of a feather flock together. Social sciences don’t normally use metaphysical terminology such as “attractor energy fields”; they will use other words to describe the same truths, such as “The Broken Window
Principle”, by which a bad neighborhood in town will probably attract more of the same events, actions and people. A building with broken windows is more likely to attract malcontents hanging around there than a newly renovated building. While social sciences try to use all kinds of theories to explain why this is so, essentially it is the energy-field of the general area that would attract both a broken window and the accompanying malcontent. To stereotype people comes from being aware of these energy-field relations but being judgmental and patronizing about the whole matter.
The energy-field you radiate will allow you to “tune in” to certain realities. It is not really that you “create” reality just like a television set does not “create” the channels it receives. It is more that you tune-into a frequency by…
a) Knowing the qualities and attributes of that frequency
b) Focusing attention and intention towards that reality or merging with it.
All realities are already created in infinity. You don’t create any of them and thinking you do is merely a megalomaniac delusion of the ego, sold to you in the “metaphysical” section of a bookstore. Instead, you choose from the trillions of options already created, what to tune into and what to retrieve attention from. States-ofmind, emotion and body are therefore a gauge for where you stand, what could be improved, and how it could be improved.
The scale of energy is not widely known because humanity’s own level of energy has been too dense to perceive it. It is not possible to see, hear, or feel something that is out of range for you. This makes it appear as if such information has been kept secret. One’s own perceptual filters keep more secret than any intelligence agency ever could. In reality, nothing is unknowable. One reason humanity has kept the scale of energy secret from itself is because there is some potential for misapplication. This specific type of scale-thinking was used in the ancient Hindu belief-system. Its misuse has led to the creation of the rather rigid caste-system, which makes it difficult for those “lower” to progress upwards. In modern times, the scale
has also been misused by a number of cults as a means of elitist segregation and manipulation. For readers of this book, it is meant to be used as a model of orientation. Readers with some spiritual sophistication will know that “what you put out is what you get back,” that you are accountable for every one of your words and deeds, and that manipulation of others automatically implies that you will be manipulated, too. Simply put, you use the scale not to wrong people, prove them wrong or put them down, but to uplift, inspire, and empower. I even recommend you do not talk about the scale much at all but merely read the energy-fields of various places, beliefs, people, etc. Talking about the scale is similar to talking about a movie while the movie is running. It distracts you from the enjoyment of the movie.
From a more expanded viewpoint, a higher-point on the scale, the linear nature of the scale is meaningless. The scale is therefore a tool that is useful for people below that point on the scale–which includes most humans living on earth. From that expanded viewpoint, level 0 and level 600 are right beside each other. From an airplane, Long Beach and Los Angeles are right beside each other, but on the ground it may take hours to wade yourself through the traffic to get there. Seen from a satellite circling in orbit, Long Beach and Los Angeles are nearly identical.
For the dualistic mind, scales automatically mean “good and bad,” despite my repeated requests not to use it this way. In order to relax this tendency just a little, you might want to use words such as “appropriate” and “inappropriate” instead. For a politician, level 700 (Bliss) is inappropriate, for parenting a child, 400 (Intellectualism) is inappropriate. If a soul incarnates with the intention to experience suffering in order to “balance out karma” or any other such undertaking, then trying to get that soul to move above level 200 would, in fact, be inappropriate. If enlightenment is your goal, dabbling below level 200 is discouraged. There is a fine difference between discernment and judgmental-ism. Those brainwashed by religious and new-age thought learn “it’s not good to judge” and this is often mistaken for being non-discerning. But discernment is an
important asset. To label any point of the thermometer as “bad” and actively resist it will do nothing more than pull you into the energyfield you say you don’t want. But to merely discern between “hot” and “cold” is no judgment. Appreciate that everything has its rightful place in Infinity.
Before going on with reading, take another look at the scale. You may pick up your own insights before I share mine.
CHAPTER THREE APPLICATIONS OF THE SCALE
Wellbeing is the starting point, not the goal
Everything we do in life we do to improve our state. This applies to every sentient being. The essential desire to move in the direction of well-being and avoid feeling bad is what motivates all action, all desire, all resistance, all plans, and all worries. Why do you go to work? “To make money.” Why do you want to make money? “For survival” would be a common answer. In this case, going to work would be driven by both fear of non-survival and desire to survive. Sometimes we make choices that “feel bad” or are detrimental to our survival. This seems to contradict the idea of everything being motivated by a drive to feel better. But it is no contradiction. When we make choices that are no good, it’s only because we believe the alternative would be even worse. So smoking cigarettes may be harmful to your health, but there is the underlying belief that not smoking cigarettes feels worse than smoking them. Or we may remain in a relationship that is painful because the pain of leaving feels worse than staying. We sometimes choose the “lesser evil,” or what is perceived as such. Therefore, even “bad” behaviors are motivated by the desire to feel better, or what we think will make us feel better. The shortcut to fulfillment is to gradually let go of reasons and conditions to be met before being happy and aiming directly for the feeling you would like. In my experience, improving your general state is an aim that is more important than almost any other aim in life. By putting a general sense of well-being first on your inner priority-list you become independent of all the conditions that “have to” be met before being happy. And by becoming independent of all these things, people, and objects, they become easier to have. Well-being is not necessarily the goal, but the prerequisite for reaching goals, the basis from which other things
flow more easily.
If you think you understand what was just said, think again. Merely reading something and agreeing with it is of little use. A part of you will still be whispering to yourself:
“When I find a partner, I will feel better.”
“When I make more money, I will feel better.”
“When the weekend comes, I will feel better.”
“I will feel better after drinking coffee.”
“After reading this book, I will feel better.”
“When I find God, I will feel better.”
When waiting for outside circumstances to change you, rather than recognizing happiness within, you are a puppet of the world. If you come to an ATM to withdraw money and your emotional state changes from OK to worse, that indicates that the ATM’s contents are controlling you, which is a far cry from you controlling it and its contents. Do you want to be controlled by a machine? Do you have money, or does money have you?
Humans have created millions of such dependencies. Needing all kinds of things to happen before you can be happy is a certain way of not moving up the scale. A shortcut to improving your situation is to define a general sense of well-being as a top priority (with the exception of enlightenment or divine experience itself, which is the top priority and also beyond the duality of well-being vs. non-wellbeing). Practice feeling good today rather than projecting happiness into some future that never really comes. Life is taking place today. Can you sense the today-ness of life?
With just a little of awareness, you can tend to your well-being before taking action on something, before planning, before making a decision, before drinking that cup of coffee, before turning on the Internet to distract yourself. And if you’re alright and calm beforehand, your actions and decisions will be more fruitful. Making decisions in a state of emotional turmoil is a recipe for long-term suffering. If you operate from a “I don’t need coffee to feel better”
the coffee you do drink will taste better. The taste of the coffee will not come from your mental projection but from the coffee itself. You can derive sustenance, peace and joy from within in a matter of minutes by merely taking short time-outs throughout the day.
The dictum of the world-self (world-self is my term for what other authors call “ego”) is “to get.” That is the only thing it is interested in. That’s understandable because it is dependent on energy for survival. The lower your point on the scale, the stronger the need “to get” is. In a state below level 200 on the scale, one is almost constantly lacking something and needing something or other in order to be at ease. So “to get,” to take, to acquire, to achieve, to accomplish, to strategize on how-to-get is humanity’s main preoccupation. Merely “feeling fine” independent of what you get or do not get will move your overall energy up the scale. There is a lot of power in releasing neediness.
Effort and Effortlessness
Positive states do not require effort, hard work, or a long climb. You don’t need to work hard to “deserve” them. They are native within you. Only negative states require ongoing mental effort. Imagine a floating cork. Pushing it down under water takes effort. Let it go and it will pop back up effortlessly. Having the cork float above water is a matter of allowing, not pushing.
But what about the “no pain, no gain” dogma we are all brought up to believe? Well, it does not apply to the mental and emotional realm, it only applies to the physical world. Hard work, discipline, building one’s body, investing time in one’s studies, overcoming obstacles–physical effort–has its merits and results and can in this way facilitate states of inner satisfaction. So here again, it is helpful to discern which domain we are talking about. Inner calm and effortlessness, coupled with outer effort or activity, is a wonderful mix. A part of being successful in life is not to mix levels. A path to failure is to be tense on the inside and lax on the outside. Emotionally, if you want to be calmer and thereby strong, not more but less is required. So rather than doing something in order to feel
better, do less. Let go. Release. Relax. 80% of all products sold in the self-help/new-age market involve some form of relaxing, repackaged as some special “method” for spiritual advancement. If you knew how to relax the body and mind, you could save yourself a lot of time and money. I personally know quite a number of costly mental and spiritual courses that use all kinds of teachings, methods, and tools where the net result is merely to be in a calm inner state or to have peace of mind. And the crowds enthusiastically dish out thousands of dollars for the shortsighted idea that peace of mind comes from those tools.
Take a deep breath right now. Have your out-breath be longer than your in-breath. Let the in-breath flow through your nose, allow the out-breath to open your mouth. Let the out-breath be accompanied by the sound of “Aaaaaaaaah”. On the in-breath, welcome everything you are perceiving, seeing, and hearing in your immediate field of perception, in your immediate here and now. Give up any resistance or tension and welcome what-is as-it-is. Let it be OK. And on the out-breath, let it all go, release it all, relax all, stop focusing on it all. And on the in-breathe focus on what-is and welcome it all. And on the longer out-breathe just stop focusing on it all, drop it all. Repeat this at least 10 times before reading on.
Do you feel the difference? You’ve just improved your state on the scale in the here and now, not by doing more, but by relaxing and doing less. Your well-being thus improved, as did your doing and your productivity. Please take note of how relatively easy it was to improve your state. Don’t let anyone sell you the belief that improving your state requires a special program or lots of money. Here’s another one: Become aware of something you wouldn’t mind experiencing. Hold it in mind as if it’s already happened. As if it were a memory rather than fantasy. Did that even just slightly uplift your state? That’s change from within, an external substance was not needed.
Essentially, both effort and effortlessness are important. To be willing to relax fully and work fully are both essential. Those who have not
mastered this think about working when they are trying to relax and think about relaxing when they are trying to work. But rather than spending your life on a guilt trip, allow yourself to be completely lazy and at ease with it. In this way, you will also allow yourself to be completely productive and industrious and be at ease with that. The following exercise will demonstrate how we have aversions toward both effort and effortlessness and will help to release some of the energies stuck to them. Mentally stay with each item for 10 to 60 seconds:
1. Imagine investing a lot of effort into something or working hard. As best you can be OK with that image, relax with that thought.
2. Imagine relaxing, non-doing and effortlessness. As best you can be OK with that image, relax with that thought.
3. Again, imagine effort and as best you can release your aversion or resistance towards it. Allow yourself to imagine effort and actually enjoy it.
4. Again, imagine effortlessness, laziness, and vacation-ism and as best you can, release your aversion or resistance towards it. Allow yourself to actually enjoy it.
5. And again imagine effort.
6. And again, imagine effortlessness.
7. Be OK with both.
In doing this, you have released at least some emotional charge, and have actually moved up the scale on that particular subject.
Be-Do-Have
Levels below 200 are focused on having. All of these people’s lives revolve around what they have and what they and can get.
Levels 200-450 revolve around doing. This mentality of doing is what built civilization as we know it.
On levels 450-600 the person’s focus is on being. It is not important what one has (owns) or what one does (professionally) but rather who one is (via personality, attitude, and energy-field).
Lower-level consciousness thinks that the best method to achieve something is Do-Have-Be. “If I workout (do), then I grow bigger muscles (have) and then I’m respectable (be).” A much easier life begins with Being and then letting actions naturally come from that Being, which will eventually result in having (this is described in detail in my book, Parallel Universes of Self).
The scale reflects natural sequences of human emotion.
In the evolutionary unfolding of consciousness, spiritual growth, or a healing process as facilitated through life experiences, therapy, coaching, successes, recovery or favorable circumstances, the scale shows the general sequence of states a human normally goes through. The same is true for de-evolutionary processes in a lifetime of hardship. There are exceptions to this sequence in that some will skip certain levels, only temporarily experience change, have backslides and other variations outside of the linear process. From a higher-reality-perspective (600+) one can go to heaven or hell within seconds.
For most of us, the respective states in proximity to each other are much easier to experience than those further away. On an energylevel of Pride (190) it is much easier to slip down into Anger (160) than it would be to go into Depression (100) or ascend to Enthusiasm (380).
Understanding the scale usually increases your tolerance of others, along with your ability to help them (should help be desired). So whether anger indicates betterment or not depends on from which level a person started. If the person in question was depressed or fearful and now experiences bouts of anger or temper tantrums, this is actually an indicator of his state improving rather than declining. If he was in a state of general content and wellbeing, anger would indicate a decline in his state.
Conventional wisdom holds that anger (as an example) is not good,
that it is a fire that must be extinguished. What often happens in this case is that a spouse or therapist has the person suppress the anger, thus moving him back down the scale into fear, sadness, and apathy, until someday he rises back up to anger and is pushed down yet again. Next time you see someone who is in a state of emotional upheaval, do not necessarily assume that they have regressed–unless of course, they normally reside at a more jovial energy-level.
In fact, as a general note, presume less and perceive more. What is true or not depends strictly on the here-and-now, rather than on previously learned formulas.
Every level experiences a different world.
Every energy-level experiences a different “felt truth,” perception of reality, life results, and intensities of experience. From which vantage point you view life determines what you notice and do not notice. The “felt vibration” you reside in, affects your thinking, doing, speaking and ultimately what surroundings and circumstances you find yourself in.
Every level of energy corresponds with everything else that matches it: certain social organisms, colloquialisms, intentions, hobbies, locations, problems, dramas, needs, objects, forms of entertainment, products, teachings, infrastructures, buildings, intentions, etc.
This would be useful for the world in addressing people and nations according to where they stand rather than trying to introduce systems that are not a match to their respective reality. For example, talking about democracy (420) to a country that is experiencing hopelessness (50) is a diplomatic folly. People on the brink of starvation do not want to talk about democracy; they want to talk about feeding themselves.
My own experiences in teaching are a good example. I have conducted more than a thousand seminars and workshops with groups residing on every level of the scale. The ability to work with very different types of people is linked to the ability to shift one’s own energy. I would not introduce level 600 teachings to a level 400 group or level 400 teachings to a level 50 group. In shifting my
state, I utilize a different demeanor, wear different clothing, and use a different vocabulary. While I teach the same things to every group, I teach it in a radically different manner.
Teaching a Level 70 Group
I was asked to hold a workshop on success for a group of welfare recipients who had been out of a job for years. Upon entering the room, I recognized the group as level 70-110. They radiated apathy, depression, hopelessness, self-pity, and fear. The things that usually accompany such an energy level were there in abundance: taking an array of drugs for depression, exhausted and empty eyes, slow speech, a difficulty to focus, and a total lack of perspective and life purpose. The clothing worn by those in attendance was in a state of neglect, as was the seminar room itself, which featured shabby furniture, a broken coffee machine, cigarette stains and paint crumbling off the walls. I could relate. Having been there myself, in what seems now like a different lifetime, and having moved beyond it gave me sufficient authority to offer assistance. In motivational courses, work on “life goals” and “action steps” are expected. But I would not be doing that here, even if that was the reason I had been booked. The issue of “life goals” and “action steps” is for people residing on levels 160 upwards. If I were to introduce those types of teachings to this group, it would in all likelihood fall flat. They might be able to state some goals, but no action would follow. Apathy lacks the energy to act. I instead worked with bottled-up emotions of sadness and fear, with practicing self-expression, with physical touch (hugs), with patiently listening to their victim-stories and so forth. Eventually I carried them up to level 180 (antagonism, pride, complaint) by letting them openly and aggressively lament about life, their former bosses, the market situation, etc. I used many confessional techniques and paths of emotional catharsis and confrontation. The workshop was a success, and all participants experienced relief. One participant commented, “I expected more of this motivational crap about goals and stuff. I’m glad it turned out differently. I feel much better.”
Teaching a Level 300 Group
I lead another motivational workshop that addressed a level 275-310 group with all their level 300 dreams, level 300 business-attire, orderliness and conservatism. I was booked by a large company to do a weekend course within the corporate offices. Unlike with a level 50 group, I would not be using any emotional-confrontation techniques. Neither could I allow myself to apply level 500 upwards talk of Infinite Consciousness and mystical exaltation. They would have fired me on the spot. This was the right level to address goals and action steps (whereas in the 500’s I would talk about letting go of goals). Having the courage (310) to pursue their goals was the next step for them. A successful workshop was the result of working on rejuvenating passion, removing doubts and roadblocks to their goals, and maintaining focus after the course was complete. “Good thing this was not one of them touchy-feely new-age courses” one participant said. “I liked how pragmatic and down-to-earth this was.”
Teaching a Level 450 Group
This was a group of performers–actors and dancers–that would become bored had I addressed them with level 300 goal-related topics. They longed for the more etheric. We meditated. We discussed Unconditional Love. We played games about shifting identities. And again, the course was a success. “I feel so much more alive after this workshop,” said one participant. “I feel very connected to my energy.” Above a certain level, feeling energy is more important than collecting data.
Each every level experiences a different world. This applies to so much more than teaching. Once you get even a rough handle on how the scale works, your effectiveness will skyrocket. Your Temporary and your Habitual State.
Each person has a unique general experience of life which I call variously “basic vibe,” “habitual emotion,” “chronic state,” or “basic energy level” throughout the book. This is the state you are in most often. Some are aware of their basic level. Most are not. From this mid-point you have a range, meaning an average high and average low. So if your basic level is 195 (monotonous, discontent) the
highest you are likely to experience under normal circumstances lies around 380 (reason, relaxation, success) and the lowest is around 80 (sorrow, self-pity). At 195, you are unlikely to experience apathy (50) or bliss (590). You could go decades without ever being depressed and without ever touching ecstasy. If your chronic level is 30 (shame, guilt) it will prove difficult to experience anything above 220 (satisfaction) but be easier to ascend to nearby 50 (apathy) or 80 (sorrow, regret). If your habitual level is 540 (love), it will be a rare occurrence for you to ever sink below 275 (courage, action, ability).
The scale gives you a good idea of what to realistically expect and what is out of range at your current state. Grasping for what is out of range is usually more hurtful than taking the process step by step. That would be similar to trying to jump on a train that is moving too fast. You’re more likely to end up with bruises than enlightenment.
Your basic energy level is composed of past experiences (thoughts and feelings frozen in time and stored in your body and/or soul), your own beliefs, core-beliefs and attitudes, your current focus of attention, your open and hidden intentions and what you generally say and do most of the time. The people you spend time with, your environment, what you eat and drink and how you care for your body also play a role, albeit a smaller one, in your basic energy. Your regular environment is more an indicator of your state than the cause of it.
Your temporary state does not exist for more than minutes, hours, or days at a time. You might go on vacation and get a temporary relief. But some of your low feelings accompany you wherever you go. In fact, if you relax properly, your real state will emerge and it may not be what you hoped it is. Or you will realize that when all distractions are gone, you are in better shape than you thought you were. Because we expose ourselves to artificial uppers and downers, it is not always clear what our state really is.
People take drugs to gain relief from the weight of lower states. But these very temporary experiences do not result in any upward
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This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
Title: Kreetan harha-askel
Author: Juho Koskimaa
Release date: March 23, 2024 [eBook #73238]
Language: Finnish
Original publication: Helsinki: Otava, 1922
Credits: Juhani Kärkkäinen and Tapio Riikonen
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK KREETAN HARHA-ASKEL ***
KREETAN HARHA-ASKEL Y.M. KERTOMUKSIA
Kirj.
Juho Koskimaa
Helsingissä, Kustannusosakeyhtiö Otava, 1922.
SISÄLLYS:
Järki ja periaate
Kreetan harha-askel
Carl Eneas Brovallin naiminen
Sara-Niilan lapsen kuolema
Pororuhtinas kuolee
Anselmi Kaarretahon vaivojen loppu
Liian myöhään
Suurten jokien varsilta
Jokihulluutta
Kohtaus joella
Mikko Puuperä
Tiltu
Erämaan henkeä
Kunnia
JÄRKI JA PERIAATE
Ulkona on kuuma kesäinen päivä, mutta sisällä, konttorihuoneistossa, on viileää. Kirjoituskoneet naksuttelevat, isojen konttorikirjojen lehdet kahisevat, kun niitä käännellään, kuljetaan varovasti ja melkein varpaillaan, puhelu on asiallista, virallisensekaista ja puoleksi kuiskaavaa. Konttoriaika ei ole leikintekoa varten, täällä pitää tehdä työtä, täältä hallitaan kahtakymmentäkolmea sahanraamia, kymmeniätuhansia vähäpätöisiä ihmiskohtaloita, satoja taloja ja kymmeniätuhansia hehtaareja. Tämä on pääkonttori, täällä istuu pitkä rivi sileäksi kammattuja herroja, joilla on siisti kesäpuku ja sileäksi prässätyt housunlahkeet; jos heillä sattuu olemaan joitakin persoonallisia mielitekoja ja inhimillisiä pyyteitä, niin olla hyvä ja jättää ne kello viideksi, jolloin konttori suljetaan. Äsken kulki herra konttoripäällikkö ja antoi kalankatseensa liidellä yli salin, sitten kulki herra osastopäällikkö kotkankatseineen läpi huonerivin, ja nyt viimeksi meni herra alijohtaja ystävällisille hymyilleen ja nauravine silmineen, jotka eivät olleet näkevinään mitään, mutta näkivät kaikki. Täällä on kumarruksia ja täällä on kohteliaisuutta, sillä täältä ohjataan kohtaloita. Ja kesäinen aurinko paistaa, mutta paahde kykenee vain viileänä ja kaukaisena tunkeutumaan sisään läpi alaslaskettujen uudinten.
Mutta mikä siellä nyt romisee sisään. Kolinaa ja meteliä, aivan kuin tulossa olisi joku lakkolaisten lähetystö. Lähinnä istuva konttoristi nostaa hermostuneen kysyvänä päätään, ja yksi juoksupojista rientää opetuksen mukaisesti avaamaan ovea.
Tulijat eivät kuitenkaan kuulu mihinkään lakkolaisten lähetystöön, mutta muutenkin se on varsin murheellinen kulkue. Vastaanottajana ja ilmoittajana toimiva konttoristi ei tiedä suhtautuako vai ollako suhtautumatta: mies ja poika saattavat hyvinkin olla kerjäläisiä, mutta eikö miehellä, peijakkaalla, ole pyhäpuvuntapainen yllään.
Se on hyvin omituisen ja säälittävän näköinen mies, toisen jalan sijalla on puujalka, itsetehty, valkea, aivan uusi puujalka, ja toisen jalan sijalla on vain tynkä, joka päättyy jonnekin entisen polvensijan yläpuolelle. Hän liikkuu kainalosauvojen varassa, harvennut tukka on liimautunut hikiselle otsalle, kasvot ovat kalpeat ja hermoherkät, ja silmissä on omituinen kiiluva, kyyneleinen katse. Ja poika on niinkuin isänsä ilmeinen säestys, pelokkaan näköinen, laiha, silakalla ja perunoilla ruokittu ilmestys. Hänellä ei ole mitään pyhäpuvuntapaista, ja on kuin hänen vaatteistaan erittyisi se ruoan ja lian sekainen haju, joka vallitsee hänen kodissaan.
"Istukaa!" sanoo asiapoika, ja mies istuutuu, mutta poika jää seisomaan, älyttömästi tuijotellen suurilla vaaleanharmailla silmillään ympäri huoneen.
Se on merkki siitä, että miehellä on jotakin muuta asiaa kuin pelkkä kerjääminen, ja nyt näkee vastaanottajakonttoristi velvollisuudekseen keskeyttää osoitteidenkirjoittamisensa ja mennä puhuttelemaan.
"Onko teillä asiaa?" kysyy hän.
"Olisi minulla päätirehtöörille… vähän… tuota", vastaa mies omituisen inisevällä, surkealla äänellä.
"Päätirehtöörille… Mistä te sitten olette?"
"Tuolta minä olen Kiviluoman sahalta… teidän puulaakin sahoja… Minun nimeni on Jeremias Kähkönen…"
"Jaha. Onko teillä suosituskirjettä?"
"Ei… Käski se meidän sahan tisputentti vain tulla tänne… Lupasi soittaa edeltäkäsin herra päätirehtöörille… Liekö sitten soittanut…"
"Otetaan selvä. Minkälaatuista asiaa teillä on herra päätirehtöörille?"
Hikikarpalot miehen otsalla näkyvät entistä selvemmin, ja hänen olemuksensa näyttää vavahtavan.
"Minä puhuisin sen kernaammin herra päätirehtöörille itselleen… Sanoi se tisputentti, että vain itselleen päätirehtöörille…"
Vastaanottajakonttoristi rypistää otsaansa, kohauttaa olkapäitään ja menee. Sehän on selvää, joku kerjäysjuttu taas: Kiviluoman sahalta, koivet poikki.
Muutaman minuutin kuluttua hän tulee takaisin, ja mies, tämä Jeremias
Kähkönen, vääntäytyy seisomaan.
"Istukaa. Saatte pian puheillepääsyn."
Jeremias Kähkönen istuutuu taas ja kokoaa ajatuksiaan. Pitää asettaa sanansa koreasti, sanoa, että on ollut yhdeksäntoista vuotta
puulaakin töissä, että näin se nyt on käynyt, ikävä kyllä, molemmat kintut yhdellä kertaa… Ei koskaan ottanut osaa lakkoihin, ja seitsemän lasta…
"Herra Kähkönen!" kuuluu ovelta.
Kähkös-Jeremias kavahtaisi seisoalleen, jos voisi. Vai herraksi ne oikein, häntä sanotaan ensimmäisen kerran eläessään herraksi. Mutta samalla kutsujakin huomaa erehdyksensä ja käy lähemmäksi.
"Kähkönen tekee hyvin ja käy sisälle", sanoo hän ystävällisesti, "herra vuorineuvos odottaa".
Se on kaikin puolin ystävällinen ja höyli herra ja saattaa Kähkös-Jeremiaksen ja hänen poikansa korkean, ruskean oven taakse.
Vieläpä naputtaakin oveen valmiiksi ja avaa oven.
"Menkää sisään nyt", kehoittaa hän, "ja puhukaa lyhyesti ja selvästi".
Sitten ovi painuu kiinni hänen takanaan ja hän huomaa kompuroineensa sisään.
Kähkös-Jeremias menee hetkeksi sekaisin. Huone on laaja, ja lattiata peittää kesälläkin paksu, pehmeä matto. Uutimet ovat täälläkin alaslasketut, mutta aurinko paistaa veripunaisena niiden lävitse ja ikkunoiden poikkipuiden varjot muodostavat tummia ristejä tummanpunaiselle lattialle. Kookas, harmaja mies istuu pöydän ääressä, ja hänen kynänsä rapisee paperia vasten, hän ei huomaakaan Jeremias Kähkösen tuloa, vaan jatkaa kirjoittamistaan, aivan kuin ei huoneessa olisi ketään muuta.
"Istukaa!" kuuluu viimein, mutta kirjoittamista jatkuu.
Jeremias Kähkönen ajattelee, että on vähän rohkeata noin ensi käskyllä istuutuakin, mutta seistakaan ei tällä kertaa tahdo jaksaa. On saanut kävellä niin kovin paljon.
"Tehkää hyvin ja istuutukaa!" kuuluu toinen kerta, ja nyt Jeremias Kähkönen tunsi kuin hyvän tunnetta ja lämpöä ja istuutui.
"Te olette Jeremias Kähkönen", kuului taas.
"Joo, Jeremias Kähkönen…"
"Kiviluoman sahalta?"
"Niin, Kiviluoman sahalta…"
Nyt vanha, kookas herra laski pois kynänsä ja kääntyi päin Jeremias Kähköstä. Hänen suuret, lempeät silmänsä tarkastelivat häntä tutkivasti välkkyvien silmälasien takaa, ja kasvoilla kuvastui vilpitön, sydämellinen osanotto.
"Ai-ai", sanoi hän pehmeästi ja lämpimästi. "Huonosti, kovin huonostipa teidän on käynyt."
Jeremias Kähkönen liikahti tuolillaan: kentiespä asia luonnistuu. Mitä se nyt oli, kuusisataa markkaa.
"Raameissa pitää olla varovainen, ehdottomasti varovainen sekä raameissa että sirkkeleissä", jatkoi herra päätirehtööri kipakammin, "ettei satuta itseään tuolla tavoin… No mikäs tämän pikku miehen nimi on?"
Poika vie sormen suuhun, mutta isä vastaa hänen puolestaan.
"Mattihan se on."
"Vai Matti. Ja kuinka vanha hän on?"
"Kahdentoista."
"Vai kahdentoista. No, pianhan hän kykenee auttamaan isää.
Onko
Kähkösellä muita lapsia?"
"Onhan niitä kuusi muuta, yksi on vanhempi, nelitoistavuotias, se on merkkaajana sahalla… Markka seitsemänkymmentäviisi päivältä…"
"Sehän on sentään hauskaa. Vaikka kyllä tämäkin — Mattihan se hänen nimensä oli — kyllä rullapojaksi kelpaisi."
"Kyllä minä koetin, mutt’ei se työnjohtaja luvannut huolia."
"Miks'ei sitten?"
"Liian nuoreksi katsoi."
Herra päätirehtööri, vuorineuvos, teki torjuvan liikkeen kädellään:
"Ä-äsh, maailman kevein työ…"
Sitähän se Kähkös-Jeremiaskin, että maailman kevein työ. Ei sitä kukaan tähänkään mennessä ollut rullilla jäseniään katkonut ja tuskinpa kunnollisesti väsynytkään. Ja herra vuorineuvos on pelkkää alamielisyyttä ja höyliyttä. Vähitellen alkaa Jeremias Kähkösen vallata kodikas, toivorikas mieliala. Sitä olikin saanut koko alkukesän, melkein siitä asti kuin lasareetista pääsi, juosta kaikenlaisten herrojen puheilla, isojen ja pienten, köyhyytensä ja
vaivojensa kanssa. Eiköpä tehnyt lopultakin oikein, kun tuli tänne, itse pääherran puheille, eivätköhän mahtane nyt asiat selvetä? Ja eivätköhän mahtane nyt kumijalat, joista tohtori oli puhunut, hellitä, että tästä jollakin tavalla pääsee elämisen alkuun. Ei sitä suotta ole yhdeksäätoista vuotta ollut yhtiön palveluksessa.
Huoneessa on nyt vähän aikaa leppeä, sovinnollinen hiljaisuus. Herra vuorineuvos ottaa isosta laatikosta itselleen savukkeen ja tarjoaa Kähkös-Jeremiaksellekin, mutta Kähkös-Jeremias ei ole oppinut tupakoimaan. Asiat näkyvät suoltuvan kuin itsestään.
"No", kysyy herra vuorineuvos, vedettyään muutamia savuja, "olisiko Kähkösellä joitakin toivomuksia ja pyyntöjä?"
Kähkös-Jeremiaksen täytyy koota ajatuksensa, ennenkuin osaa aloittaa selvityksensä. Tuntuu hiukan ikävältäkin noin höylille miehelle esittää mitään vaatimuksia, mutta toiselta puolen sen tekee vähän niinkuin vapaammin. Ei tarvitse peljätä eikä vavista niinkuin oli luullut.
"Kai Kähkönen tietää, että Kähkönen on tapaturmavakuutettu ja saa apurahan joka vuosi?" kysyy herra vuorineuvos vielä.
"Joo, kyllähän minä olen jo vähän saanutkin", vastaa KähkösJeremias.
"Ja lasareetissa oli kaikki vapaata."
"Niinhän se täytyy ollakin, tietysti", hymyilee herra vuorineuvos, kelloaan vilkaisten. "Mitä toivomuksia Kähkösellä sitten olisi?"
Asian täytyy lopultakin esille, ja Kähkös-Jeremias alkaa selvittää kurkkuaan. Sisimmässään hän on toivonut, että herra vuorineuvos itse ottaisi asian puheeksi, sillä kai tisputentti on siitä soittanut. On vaikeata istua tässä ja kerjätä, ei ole tarvinnut ennen sitä tehdä, vaikka on puutettakin ollut, mutta kun nyt sattui tämmöinen onnettomuus, että molemmat koivet yhdellä kertaa… Eikä hän nytkään, mutta kun on perhe, muija ja seitsemän lasta…
Kähkös-Jeremias tapailee sanoja, ja viimein hän löytää itsensä puhumasta. On ollut puhetta sairaalan lääkärin kanssa, että jos saisi sellaiset kumijalat, jollaisia tohtori kertoi olevan… Se vähän helpottaisi toimeentuloa… Hän osaa nikkarintyötä, sellaista keveämpää, eihän hänestä sahallekaan enää… Ja se kun on se perhekin sellainen kuin on, eikä muita työmiehiä kuin hän… Niin hän ajatteli pyytää, että jos puulaaki tai herra päätirehtööri… tuota, vuorineuvos… että jos herra vuorineuvos hyvinkin armeliaisuudessaan avustaisi… Herra tohtori siellä lasareetissa sanoi, että kuusisataa markkaa, korkeintaan seitsemänsataa…
Nyt se on sanottu ja Kähkös-Jeremias tuntee kylmän hien otsallaan ja selässään. Herra vuorineuvos on häntä kuunnellut mitä suurimmalla mielenkiinnolla, korjannut silmälasejaan, sytyttänyt uuden savukkeen ja kuunnellut taas. Eikä hän pitkään aikaan vastaa mitään.
"Katsokaa nyt, Kähkönen", sanoo hän sitten lempeästi, "tapahtuman johdosta pidetyssä kuulustelussa ei millään tavalla ilmennyt, että yhtiö tai sen laitteet olisivat olleet Kähkösen onnettomuuteen syynä. Kuulustelupöytäkirjassa sanotaan selvästi, että tapaturman syynä on ilmeinen varomattomuus."
Aurinkoinen huone tummeni Kähkös-Jeremiaksen silmissä, mutta hän kokosi malttinsa. Eihän häneltä vielä oltu mitään kielletty.
"Saattaa olla varomattomuus", myöntää hän nöyrästi. "En minä sitä itse osaa sanoa. Mutta en minä sen varomattomampi ollut kuin muulloinkaan omasta mielestäni. Sitä kun on työssä, niin sitä hosuu silmät ummessa…"
"Jaa-jaa. Mutta varovainen täytyy myöskin olla."
Kähkös-Jeremias ei vastaa mitään, mutta mielessään hän myöntää herra vuorineuvoksen huomautuksen oikeaksi: varovainen täytyy olla. Mutta mistä sen arvaa, kun on toista vuosikymmentä seisonut samalla paikalla, millä hetkellä onnettomuus tulee.
"Ja toiseksi", jatkaa herra vuorineuvos, "olemme me vakuuttaneet työväkemme tapaturman varalta. Kähkönen tietää, että meillä on tuhansia työmiehiä ja että se siis maksaa paljon rahaa. Vastuu on siis siinä suhteessa siirtynyt tapaturmavakuutusyhtiölle."
"Niin, niinhän se voi olla", myöntää Kähkös-Jeremias hiljaisesti.
"Mutta kun sitä on yhdeksäntoista vuotta ollut yhtiössä ja siitä toistakymmentä vuotta samalla paikalla… Eikä koskaan lakkoillut eikä rekkuloinut… Niin minä ajattelin, että jos yhtiö armeliaisuudessaan…"
"Minä olen kyllä kuullut", keskeytti herra vuorineuvos, "että Kähkönen on ollut hyvä työmies. Mutta Kähkösellä on ollut koko ajan palkka… Niin, paljonko se nyt viimeksi oli?"
"Kolme ja seitsemänkymmentäviisi."
"Siis kolme ja seitsemänkymmentäviisi…! niin Kähkösen olisi pitänyt muistaa, että paha päivä voi joskus tulla ja säästää…"
"Voi hyvä herra inspehtuuri", pääsee Kähkös-Jeremiakselta hätääntyneesti, "ei siitä ole paljon liiennyt säästöön. Perhe on ollut suuri ja hätäpäiviä on tahtonut tuon tuostakin tulla…"
"Pitäähän Kähkösen tietää, että perheen laittaminen on itsekunkin oma asia", sanoo herra vuorineuvos totisesti. "Kuinka on, asuuko Kähkönen yhtiön huoneissa?"
"En. Kyllä mull' on oma mökki. Se on siellä Sotisaaren maalla."
"Onko se ollut Kähkösellä jo kauan aikaa?"
"On se ollut velattomana viitisen vuotta."
"No niin. Ajatelkaapa, kuinka monta työmiestä on, joilla ei ole omaa mökkiä. Ja kuitenkin Kähkönen väittää, ettei palkka ole ollut riittävä."
Kähkös-Jeremias joutui ymmälle, hänen omat sanansa olivat ajaneet hänet umpikujaan. Eikä hän tullut siinä muistaneeksi, kuinka monta ylityötuntia ja unetonta yötä tuo mökki oli tullut maksamaan ja että lapsia oli silloin vähän ja akkakin kulki päivisin työssä. Kai sitä aikaa myöten olisi päässyt paremmille päiville, kun kakaroista olisi tullut työhön pystyviä, vaan kun nyt tuli tämä onnettomuus, tapaturma, mikähän lienee. Mutta vieläkään hänen päähänsä ei pälkähtänyt, että yhtiö lähettäisi hänet kunnan vaivaishoidonesimiehen luo.
"Kähkösen täytyy ajatella", puhui herra vuorineuvos, "että yhtiö on tehnyt velvollisuutensa ja että suuren yhtiön, jolla on tuhansia
palkkalaisia huollettavanaan, ei sovi eikä se saa poiketa periaatteistaan. Antaa yhdelle etuoikeus olisi suuri vääryys toisia kohtaan. Ymmärtäähän Kähkönen sen?"
Kähkös-Jeremias ei myöntänyt eikä kieltänyt. Kainalosauvat kalahtivat, ja hän lysähti kokoon istuimellaan. Pikku poika vetäysi vaistomaisesti lähemmäksi isäänsä, ja hänen suuret silmänsä saivat entistä pelokkaamman ilmeen.
Mutta vieläkään hän ei älynnyt, että oli tullut jyrkkä, auttamaton kielto. Kuinka se olisi voinutkaan tulla? Yhdeksäntoista vuotta puulaakissa, ei kertaakaan lakkoillut, perhe odotti siellä kotona, ja matkakin maksoi niin paljon. Vain kuusisataa markkaa, enintään seitsemänsataa… Ja hän oli kotona selittänyt, että kun hän oikein toimittaa sille päätirehtöörille…
Vuorineuvos oli ottanut viivottimen ja naputti sillä ajatuksissaan polveansa.
"Vaikka minä kuinka ajattelisin", sanoi hän vihdoin melkein kuin itselleen suuttuneena, "niin minä en katso voivani suostua Kähkösen pyyntöön…"
Nyt se lopullisesti jymähti niin, että Jeremias Kähkönenkin sen älysi. Hän tunsi huimausta ja häntä vilutti. Tässä se nyt oli ja matkaankin oli mennyt niin ja niin paljon. Eikä hän ajatellut sen enempää, hän katsoi poikaansa, ja poika rupesi auttamaan häntä seisoalleen.
"Ei, Kähkönen istuu vielä", ehätti herra vuorineuvos, "eikä Kähkönen saa pahastua siitä, että asiat ovat sellaiset kuin ne ovat.
Me emme voi niille mitään, ja elettävähän tässä maailmassa kuitenkin on."
Kähkös-Jeremiaksessa syttyi taas pieni toivon kipinä. Herra vuorineuvos rypisti kulmiaan ja mietti.
"Kähkösellä on poika Kiviluoman sahalla, — eikö se niin ollut?" kysyi hän muistellen.
"Joo", vastasi Kähkös-Jeremias.
"Jonka palkka oli markka seitsemänkymmentäviisi?"
"Niin."
"No", sanoi herra vuorineuvos rohkaisten, "minä pidän huolen siitä, että tämä pikku mies pääsee rullapojaksi ja saa toisen markka seitsemänkymmentäviisi. — Ei se kyllä ole oikein lainmukaista", jatkoi hän vetäen harmajat kulmakarvansa kokoon, "mutta minä teen sen Kähkösen takia".
Sitten hän nousi ja taputteli ystävällisesti pikku Matin päätä ja koetteli hänen käsivarsiaan.
"Mitä!" nauroi hän, kun Matti ujona koetti piiloutua isänsä taakse. "Vahva mieshän sinä olet, kyllä sinä sen viran kestät. Eikö totta?"
"Kyllä kai", vastasi poika ujosti hymyillen.
"Niin, ja ansaitset veljesi kanssa yhtä paljon kuin isä terveytensä päivinä. Se on kaunistakin."
"Niin, valitettavasti en voi muuta tehdä", jatkoi hän taas KähkösJeremiakseen kääntyen, "Kähkönen saa sen kyllä yksinkertaisen
laskennon avulla selville. Yksi edellyttää tuhansia. Mutta ettei
Kähkönen tästä matkasta mitään kärsisi, niin annan seitsemänkymmentäviisi markkaa. No niin, Jumalan haltuun nyt, Kähkönen, eikä saa menettää uskoansa elämään…"
Ja niin Jeremias Kähkönen kompuroi kainalosauvojensa varassa pois. Aurinko paistoi kirkkaalta taivaalta, niinkuin se paistaa hyvien ja pahojen ylitse, ja kylmänhikisessä kädessään puristi hän seitsemääkymmentäviittä markkaa. Mitään kumijalkoja hän ei kylläkään ollut saanut, mutta olihan hän saanut täysin luotettavan lupauksen siitä, että hänen poikansa pääsee yhtiön rullapojaksi, ja — mikä on vielä enemmän — uskoa elämään ja järkkymättömään oikeuteen.
