There’s No Space Like Home by Jerry Boyd
This book is a work of fiction. All the people, events, and organizations in this book are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to anything in the real world is purely coincidental.
Copyright©2024 Jerry Boyd Cover image and design by May Dawney Designs 2024
All rights reserved.
This book may not be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, whole or in part, by any means whatsoever without prior written consent of the author and publisher.
Dedicated to my long suffering wife, Donna, and my beta readers, Mary, Bernard, Mary Ellen, Clarke, Jeff, John, Jon, Barbara, Cheryl and Stephen.
A long overdue shoutout to Geezette, who gave me my first review, on Bob’s Saucer Repair, and is still a loyal fan. Without her encouragement, I might not have hung on long enough for the books to catch on.
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Just a note for long-time readers, the character list has been moved to the end of the book.
A note about commas, and editing. My beta readers work hard to keep me on the straight and narrow. Anything wrong is probably due to my hard-headedness in not taking their advice. Extra commas you may find scattered through the dialogue, are a blatant attempt at mind control. It’s my way of making the characters sound the same way in your head, that they do in mine.
My understanding of current U.S. Navy usage of the term ‘Commodore’ is as a title, not a rank, used for a Captain in direct command of more than one vessel. In the book, you will find characters moving back and forth between the two titles, depending on the circumstances of the moment. My beta readers felt that it was confusing, I hope this clears up any issues.
An issue was pointed out to me by a reader, Joshua Ahles. The Gene Cernan had originally been (in Lost in Transit), derelict for forty thousand years. In Shaved Ape Key, and Monkey Business, I had shortened that to ten thousand years. Those two books are now corrected, but I wanted to head off any confusion. The proper timeline is that the Commonwealth Navy was mothballed about fifty thousand years ago, and the Gene was found and refitted as a colony ship about ten thousand years after that. Shortly after the Gene was found, the Squirrels did the damage at the Navy yard that Bob and the crew found in Monkey Business. Sorry for any confusion I caused by not keeping up with my own story.
Books in Sequence
1. Bob's Saucer Repair
2. Whammo Ranch
3. Shady Oaks
4. Starfoot
5. Charlie's Planet
6. Lost in Transit
7. Captain Caveman
8. Shaved Ape Key
9. Secret Squirrel
10. Monkey Business
11. Let's Make a Deal
12. Saucer Holler
13. Roo the Day
14. Deadbot
15. Admiral Bob
16. Hoopee Do
17. Take Me Home
18. Home is Where the Heat Is
19. Wreckers
20. Home Again
21. Baycation
22. Gene’s Regret
23. Can You Take a Juke?
24. Don’t Give Up the Shop
25. Hand Jive
26. Fort Scratchy
27. Trifecta
28. The Boatmen
29. Slow-Mo
30. Mr. Wilson’s Neighborhood
31. Unfriendly Relations
32. Dog Days
33. No Good Deed
34. Shipping Out
35. Joy to the Squirrels
36. Hannah Comes Home
37. Bob Has a Tantrum
38. Sheriff Bob
39. Cleanup on Aisle Squatch
40. The Butler Did It
41. Kid Stuff
42. A Reptile Dysfunction
43. Baby Ruth
44. There’s No Space Like Home
The mad dash to get into the black was over. Tom and the twins were settled in the cabin. Nikki was flying the Evans, and Janet had grabbed another freighter to help with the search. I was strapped into my station on the bridge of the Gene, not getting much done but worrying. Topper and some of the other bots had worked out a pattern for the fleet to sail in that would make sure we had complete sensor coverage. Unless Milly had a drive problem that threw her way off course, we would be able to find her on our first pass.
Topper said, “All ships are in position, Boss. We’re ready to go to FTL.”
“Blow this popsicle stand, Skipper.”
The stars went away. Saucy said, “I’m getting reports from the fleet, Boss. We’re all formed up in good order.”
“Thanks, Saucy.”
Sue said, “My counterpart on the Aldrin and I are collating the data as it comes in. We won’t miss anything, Boss.”
“I know that, Sue. Thanks.”
Topper asked, “Is there anything else we can do to make this easier for you, Boss?”
“I can’t think of anything, Skipper. I’m still trying to figure out how somebody with the skills Milly has winds up between stars, not even able to communicate. I’m not coming up with anything that doesn’t involve hostile action.”
“I was hoping you were smarter than me, Boss. That was the conclusion I came to, as well.”
“Hmm...Just because it was hostile action, that doesn’t mean it happened since she left, does it?”
“You’re thinking sabotage, Boss? No one in the crew would have sabotaged that saucer.”
“I know that. I’ve got a suspicion, though. Saucy, could you get Scotti on the line, please?”
“Sorry, Boss, but no. Scotti is acting as air boss, and everything we have with an FTL drive is helping with the search. Tikki is acting head of Engineering. Would you like to speak with her?”
“Yes, please.”
Tikki appeared on the main screen. “What can I do for you, Boss?”
“Quite a bit, most of the time. I’m wondering how closely you went over that saucer Milly was taking to Dingus, before she left in it.”
“We fixed all its mechanical problems, I’m sure of that. We copied the logs, and scrubbed all references to Charlie’s Planet. Other than that, we didn’t work on the system software.”
“There was no evidence of it being a problem, correct?”
“Exactly right, Boss. We did get a download of the saucer’s memory, and I have a team going over it. We’re a little shorthanded, but I did manage to ship a copy to Sit, before we went to FTL.”
“What do you expect to find?”
“The same thing you do, Boss. The idjit who owned that saucer put in some kind of anti-theft program.”
“At least we know that the Commonwealth hasn’t mastered getting anything less than a full AI to handle FTL piloting. I don’t think it could be programmed to return to its home base.”
“I don’t know of any way it could do that. The system in that saucer wasn’t powerful enough to support an AI.”
“You’re sure of that?”
“There would have been hardware, and we checked all of that. Apparently, we need to make a policy of going over the system software, as well.”
“Live and learn, or you don’t live long. What do you think it might be programmed to do, then, if it won’t be able to take the ship back to wherever it thinks home is?”
“I would think it would make a comm call, to try and get someone out to pick it up.”
“That sounds likely. I think we can find the ship before they show up, don’t you?”
“I don’t see why not. Our ships are faster than anything they have, and we have less distance to go. They may have a head start, though.”
“She was gone for a while before Zoom realized she was overdue. How do you think the saucer is keeping Milly from calling out, on her personal comm? It wouldn’t be hard to lock out the ship’s comm, but her personal comm should be independent of the saucer’s systems, shouldn’t it?”
“It should. It must be something related to a drive killer, but we’ve never had a need for such a thing. I can’t tell you for sure how it would work, Boss.”
“That’s good enough. I just need a reason to believe that Milly is alive.”
“Well, Boss, we don’t have any reason to believe otherwise, until we find the saucer.”
“You’re right. Besides, it’s not your job to keep me on an even keel. I’ll let you get back to work. Wilson out.”
“Tikki out.”
I heard the door to the bridge open. I turned to look, and saw Jim Bailey walking toward me. He strapped into the station next to mine, and asked, “How’s it going, Boss?”
“Not well. I keep thinking about Milly out there in the black, all alone. As near as we can tell, there had to be some kind of program hidden on the saucer’s computer system that acted as an anti-theft device. We just have to hope that it wasn’t programmed to kill the thief.”
Jim replied, “You met the fellow who flew that thing. He was one of Pondwater’s people. Do you really think he would program his saucer to kill the thief, and deprive him of all the pleasure of watching him or her pay for his crimes? That bunch is nothing if not sadistic. No way he would pass on an opportunity like that.”
“You have an odd way to cheer a person up, Preacher.” “That may be. I think it’s logical, though.”
Topper added, “Listen to the man, Boss. I’ve run it through all the algorithms I’ve developed to predict organic behavior, and it checks out. I think maybe Mr. Bailey is onto something.”
I replied, “Okay then. Say you’re right, Jim. Where does that put us, in our search?”
Topper said, “If I may?”
Jim replied, “Of course, Skipper.”
“The chances of a saucer thief having enough resources to have a fleet of friends coming to look for them when they’re overdue, is pretty slim. I don’t think that whoever programmed this anti-theft routine would have accounted for that possibility, so I think we’re
likely to find the saucer on the original flight path, or not far from it.
I concur with Mr. Bailey that life support most likely was not interfered with, or if it was, not to a life-threatening level.”
I asked, “You mean she may be at altitude, and cold, but not bad enough to kill her?”
“That was what I was thinking, Boss.”
“Let’s hope the programmer had a good understanding of what a human can survive, then.”
Jim asked, “What do you mean?”
“Some egghead could easily give her too much credit, and push her farther than she can take, just because some book said the ‘average human’ could stand it.”
Jim replied, “She’s young, and in good shape. If anything, she will last longer than an ‘average human’.”
“You’re right. I’m just worrying, and I need to get myself under control. I’m not going to do anyone any good like this.”
Topper said, “We’ll call you if we see anything, Boss. You don’t have to stay here.”
“I know that, Skipper. I’m not doing any good here, am I?”
“Not until we have something.”
“I’ll get on out of your way, then.”
Jim got up when I did. Once we were outside the bridge, he asked, “Are you headed to the office?”
“That would be worse than the bridge, Jim. I was holding it together a little bit in there. If I don’t have crew to worry about, I’m going to fall to pieces. I promised her Grandma that I would take care of her, and now look.”
“Alice will understand. She knows Milly would have checked that saucer over herself, before she took it out. If the whole Engineering department, and Milly herself, missed whatever was wrong with that saucer, I don’t think you can blame yourself for not seeing it.”
Snitz came running up. I asked, “Gene thought I needed you?”
He nodded, then he mimed laying down to sleep. I asked, “You think I should go to the cabin?”
He nodded again. Jim said, “Well, your doctor has given you a prescription, Boss. I’m thinking you ought to listen to him.”
“Probably.”
Snitz and I got on the transit, and headed for the cabin. I made it in time to kiss Tom goodnight, and listen to Becky read. Then I kissed the twins, and headed for the grass room with Snitz. Jim and I didn’t have much to discuss, since I had just seen him. Snitz and I headed back to the cabin. He came to snuggle with me, instead of taking care of Tom. I took that to mean he was worried about me.
If he was, it didn’t extend to letting me sleep in. I got up and took care of what I needed to, then we headed out. Jim said, “Mornin’, Boss.”
“Mornin’, Preacher. We must not have found anything overnight, or Topper would have woken me up. We should be most of the way to Earth, by now. I would have thought we would have found her.”
“Don’t give up hope yet, Bob. There are a bunch of smart people in this fleet. If there’s a way to find her, they will.”
“I know that in my head, Jim. Danged if I can get my gut to believe it, though.”
“I understand that.”
We headed for breakfast. When that was done, I went to the command deck. Saucy greeted me, and I returned it. I asked, “What do we know, Skipper?”
“Well, doing such a thorough search, we found a couple of derelicts that we hadn’t known about before. We recorded their coordinates to investigate after the emergency is over.”
“Good work. Still no sign of Milly?”
“None, Boss. We only have about ten hours travel left.”
“Do you think someone could have gotten here and hauled the saucer off already?”
“I don’t see how, assuming they were based in the Commonwealth.”
“I don’t either. I’ll be in the office.”
“I’ll be sure and let you know, as soon as we find anything.”
“Thanks.”
I went across to the office, and Jeeves had coffee waiting. He asked, “How are you holding up, Boss?”
“Not as well as I would like, that’s for sure. We’re better than halfway to Earth, and we haven’t seen any trace of her, yet.”
“It does seem odd. If it was intended as an anti-theft device, wouldn’t it disable the saucer before it got too far?”
“That’s what I thought, Jeeves, but it doesn’t seem to have worked that way.”
“Do you suppose it could have disabled the saucer when it emerged from FTL?”
“That would seem to be the other obvious time to do it, but we’ve got Earth system wired like a pinball machine. I would think they would have found her already, if that were the case.”
“What does that leave?”
“Either there was a program on the system that had a time delay, longer than seems prudent, or Milly headed somewhere else.”
“You don’t think it could have overloaded the power core, and destroyed the saucer?”
“I’m trying not to think that way, and I have to think that would leave debris we could see.”
“Even so, it is a possibility.”
“Yes, it is. I’m not ready to face the fact that we may have lost Milly.”
“I understand, Boss. None of us want to think that.”
Gene said, “Tikki would like to speak with you, Boss.”
“Please put her on, Gene.”
Tikki appeared on the wall screen. “Morning, Boss.”
“Morning, Tikki. Have you found something?”
“We have, and it was well hidden. Lakki says it’s one of the better attempts to hide malware that she’s seen.”
“Attempts, does that imply that you’ve managed to figure out what it does?”
“It does. We think we know how long it waited before it shut down the drive. If we’re right, we should find her in about an hour.”
“What else did it do, besides shut down the drive?”
“Lower the temperature in the cabin, and the air pressure. Milly should have had plenty of time to get her suit activated, so she should be alright.”
“How is it keeping her from calling us?”
“We found a circuit we overlooked when we were checking out the saucer. It looked like a standard part, but it has an extra function.”
“Sneaky. I’m liking the fellow who flew this saucer less and less. It’s a shame we already gave up custody of him.”
“Given the timestamps on these software patches, Boss, I don’t think he would have been the one to put them in. They date from before he owned the saucer.”
“Lovely. Does it do anything else, besides shut down the drive, and make the pilot uncomfortable?”
“It sends out a comm call for someone to come and pick it up. Whether there will still be anyone on the other end of the comm, after so much time has passed, is anyone’s guess. We tried a reverse lookup, but we couldn’t find who the number is registered to. We didn’t want to try and call it, in case you had a sneaky plan.”
“You’re saying there’s at least a chance that someone is on their way to pick up the saucer, and Milly?”
“I have no way of knowing what they might intend to do with Milly, Boss. I think it would be better all around if we got there first.”
“The Skipper is working on that, Tikki.”
“I know. I got to be friends with Milly while she worked down here. I don’t want anything bad to happen to her.”
“She’s been staying with us for years. I don’t want to see anything happen to her, either.”
“I don’t have anything else to tell you, Boss.”
“Thanks for the update. Wilson out.”
“Tikki out.”
Jeeves asked, “What do you want to do for the hour until we overtake Milly?”
“You think their calculations are going to work out?”
“I think they’re the best thing we’ve seen so far. I still wouldn’t be willing to risk any money on it.”
“Fair enough. Let’s see if I can concentrate enough to play pool.”
The answer to that was a resounding ‘no’, but Jeeves was nice enough not to mention how poorly I was playing. We kept at it until Topper’s voice came over the speaker. “Boss, come to the bridge, please. I think we’ve found her.”
“On my way, Skipper.”
I hustled across to the bridge, and strapped in. The scanner view was already on the main screen. Topper said, “Well, Boss, this saucer seems to be the same one Milly left with, and it is dead in space, with minimal life support running.”
“You sound doubtful, Skipper.”
“We haven’t had a good look at it yet. Our scouts are working on better scans.”
“Understood. Saucy, send to the fleet, please.”
“Ready to send, Boss.”
“Instruct all ships not directly involved in the rescue to form a sensor net between us and the Commonwealth. If that saucer called for a pickup, we want to see them first.”
“Message sent and acknowledged, Boss.”
Sue said, “Scout data coming in, Boss. I’m putting it on the main screen.”
To say it was different from any scan I’d seen before would be understating things. I’m not sure how, but Milly had figured a way to write on the saucer’s deck that we could read. I have to admit I wasted a few seconds marveling at her resourcefulness, before I settled in to read it. “Isolated the fault. It’s in panel 6, and I can’t get to it from inside the saucer. The door won’t open to go out and fix it. Life support is restrained, but I am okay. My comm isn’t working, but I think the radio in the saucer may still be functional.”
Sue said, “Diverting scouts to get a better look at panel 6, Boss.”
“Thanks, Sue.”
Shortly, a scan of panel 6 replaced Milly’s message on the screen.
Topper said, “That looks bad, Boss.”
“It does. Gene, is Captain Mason available on the comm?”
“Just a second, Boss. I dispatched a relay ship to FTL to ask the Grissom to emerge.”
It was longer than a second, of course, but not by a lot. Steve appeared on the screen, displacing the scan of the booby-trapped bay from Milly’s saucer. I asked, “Gene, could you have Scotti join us, please?”
“Here she is, Boss.”
“Yes, Boss?”
“Have a look at the scans of the saucer. I’m curious how we didn’t see that booby trap when you went over it.”
She paused, taking in the scans. “Mainly because it wasn’t there, Boss. We noticed some extra equipment in that bay, but we assumed it was some sort of colonizing kit that the previous owner had installed. The small printer that we thought was survival equipment seems to have been used to build explosives, instead. You organics are sneaky.”
Steve said, “There are switches set to blow that mess if you try to remove the panel. I don’t even see a place to put a hole big enough to get Odie into that bay.”
Scotti said, “I concur. The only place I see to get a maintenance bot into that bay is on the wall with the cabin, and we can’t access the cabin.”
I asked, “Steve, is there enough explosive there to damage the Gene, if we don’t take the saucer aboard?”
“No. Even if the panel blew straight into the Gene, the shields would be able to deflect it.”
I asked, “Skipper, can we get close enough for radio comms?”
“Sure, Boss. Make it happen, Ruth.”
She jumped in fairly close, but made up the last bit in normal space. She said, “I don’t want to give that booby trap an excuse to get excited, Skipper.”
Topper replied, “Me either. Good work.”
I asked, “Saucy, can you put me on the radio, please?”
“Here you go, Boss.”
“Saucer, this is the BS Gene Cernan. Do you require assistance?”
“Is that you, Tio? I dang sure do. I can’t even get this tub to let me out so I can work on it.”
“Probably just as well. The panel you need to pull is booby-trapped.”
“It couldn’t be. Scotti went over this saucer before I left.”
“Scotti says there was a little printer in the bay that she thought was colonizing equipment. Turns out it was there to generate explosives.”
“That’s nasty. Have you figured out why this thing stranded me?”
“As near as we can tell, it was some kind of anti-theft mechanism. We’ve got a screen out, in case somebody is still listening to the
distress call the ship sent.”
“You think it sent a call to someone?”
“Why else would it strand you between stars? Nothing broke, it’s just a well-hidden piece of malware that shut the saucer down.”
“Scotti offered to load this heap on a freighter, and let me fly that, but I was trying to keep her from having to find a pilot to ferry the freighter back.”
Scotti said, “I didn’t find the tricks on that saucer, Milly. If anyone is at fault, it’s me.”
“I should have expected our shepherd to want to teach me something.”
I said, “We’ll worry about all that when we’ve got you safe, Miles. You can’t get out?”
“The door controls are locked out, and this model doesn’t have a manual override.”
I asked, “Do you have any ideas, Scotti?”
“We could try to hack the computer controlling the saucer, but with it being a rare model, I doubt anyone in the fleet has a hack handy to open it.”
Topper asked, “Do we know that the bomb in that compartment isn’t set up to explode, if the computer is overridden?”
Scotti replied, “I can’t tell from the scans we have.”
Steve said, “Well, there are some things I don’t understand on the scans. They could very well be a trigger set to go off if the computer doesn’t give the correct answer to some question.”
I said, “That’s too much of a chance to take. Can we brute force the door?”
Topper said, “I talked it over with Andre, and he can do it. I sent a scout to get a scan of the door, and there appear to be some nonstandard circuits in there. It looks to me to be a sensor to see if the door is opened.”
Milly said, “I haven’t had anything to do to pass the time since the saucer quit. I’ve been going over the manuals, just to keep my mind occupied. There’s an access panel they put in to move some of the machinery in at the factory. The main hatch isn’t big enough to get it through.”
Sue put part of the scan on the screen. She asked, “You mean this panel here?”
“Yes. That’s it.”
Topper asked, “Do you mind if I pull Andre into this discussion, Boss?”
“Not at all.”
Andre appeared with the other faces on the screen. He said, “Hello, everyone.”
He froze for a moment, to get caught up on what we were discussing. Then he said, “That panel does look like our best bet. Can we get a detailed scan to make sure whoever booby trapped this thing didn’t think of it, as well?”
Topper said, “I have the scout making a run to get some answers, Andre. We should know shortly.”
“Thanks, Skipper.”
“All part of the service, Andre.”
Andre continued, “Our standard boarding lock is big enough to fit over that panel, but I don’t think it will conform to the hull, as curved as it is in that section.”
Scotti said, “Good catch, Andre. You’re right, it can’t curve that much, and I don’t have anything handy that will. We’ll have to build something special.”
Milly said, “I’m already in my suit, to keep warm in here. I can secure everything, so that it doesn’t get blown into space when you take the panel off, Andre.”
Steve asked, “Can we get a good enough scan to be sure that venting the cabin won’t trigger the bomb?”
Sue said, “Not really. It could be an extra circuit hidden in most anything.”
Topper said, “Same thing for putting the ship in pressure, I suppose.”
Sue replied, “It would be easier, since we would be looking for external sensors, but I still wouldn’t want to bet Milly’s life on it.”
Andre asked, “Do we have an idea of how big the blast will be, if this thing does go off?”
Steve replied, “Assuming the charge is DK, anything within thirty meters or so will be in trouble, in vacuum.”
“The hatch is on the opposite side of the saucer from the panel with the bomb. Would the hull of the saucer keep the hatch area from being damaged?”
“It would, but if the interior is in pressure, Milly will be in a world of hurt.”
“Understood. I think I have a plan, but it would entail destroying the saucer in the process, assuming there is a trigger to blow it when the cabin pressure goes to zero.”
I asked, “I have to think this is going to be more exciting than we might prefer, Andre, but tell us what you’re thinking.”
“Well, if Milly has some mounting putty, she could attach herself to the panel in question. It’s large enough for her to do that comfortably. My boys could set some tiny charges to separate the panel from the saucer. When it comes loose, the air pressure will send it away from the saucer, and the bulk of the craft should keep Milly out of the shrapnel.”
Milly said, “I have mounting putty. What do you plan to do about the sealant around that panel, Andre? That stuff is strong enough to hold it to the saucer, even if the fasteners are broken.”
Scotti said, “She’s right. They formulate it that way on purpose, to make sure a ship can make it home, even if the fasteners fail.”
Andre asked, “Is there a solvent?”
“There is.”
“How fast does it work?”
“Given the thickness of the seam, I would think about twenty seconds to weaken it enough to blow off the saucer.”
Andre asked, “Let me see if I have this straight, Master Chief. My guy can set the charges, apply the solvent, and then he has twenty seconds to get out of the way?”
“That would seem to be the situation, Lieutenant. The panel won’t begin leaking for longer than twenty seconds, though. I think he could take as long as a minute to blow the fasteners, after he applied the solvent.”
“I don’t want to lose any of the force propelling Milly away from the explosion.”
“You wouldn’t. As I said, the adhesive has to be a lot stronger to hold the panel on by itself, than it does to keep the panel from leaking air.”
Andre asked, “What do you think, Boss?”
“I think it sounds risky as all get out, but it’s better than anything else we seem to be able to come up with. Miles, it’s your behind in the crosshairs, what do you think?”
“I think I’m ready to be out of here, and this sounds like the best plan we’re going to come up with.”
I replied, “Let’s do it, then. Make sure we have a freighter ready to match velocities and take her aboard. Our suits aren’t really designed for this kind of stress.”
Scotti said, “I’ve already sent one of the freighters.”
I said, “As soon as you can make it happen, Andre.”
“My guy is already on his way, Boss. Go ahead and get prepared, Milly.”
“On it, Lieutenant.”
It wasn’t long before our view switched to the Marine on the hull of the saucer. Andre said, “He’s on a tether attached to the assault ship that hauled him out there. As soon as he’s done, the ship will take off, and reel him in as it goes. Ace and Hopper assure me they can get him out of the danger zone in time.”
I said, “That should be good enough, then.”
We watched the Marine put the individual charges onto the rivets holding on the access panel. They were just big enough to cut off the rivet heads, without much other damage. When he finished that, he got out the can of solvent, and applied it liberally around the seam. When he finished that, we saw the saucer receding from his view, and Sue put up a countdown until the charges would blow. By the time the countdown reached zero, the Marine was already aboard the assault ship, and our view had switched to the freighter waiting to catch Milly. The separation wasn’t as clean as we had hoped, and Milly tumbled away from the saucer. At least she was still in the shadow of the saucer, if the bomb detonated. We watched as
the freighter scrambled to match speed and trajectory with Milly. It didn’t take me long to figure out that Nikki was at the controls of that freighter. That meant it was most likely the Evans. Between Nikki and Eve, they would bring Milly home. Our view changed to the camera inside the cargo bay. Nikki got the ship around Milly, and closed the ramp. The panel was still tumbling too much for Nikki to turn on the gravity and pull it down, without damaging the ship, and perhaps Milly in the bargain. I noticed a display in the corner of the video feed, showing pressure in the cargo bay. She brought it up to normal, and the air drag began to slow the turn of the panel. She must have thought it wasn’t slowing soon enough, because she began to take the pressure farther up. By the time she got to three atmospheres of pressure, the panel had slowed enough for her to turn on the gravity, and settle it on the floor. I thought it must be Eve, modulating the gravity controls, because whoever it was managed to turn it on and off in just the right rhythm to get it to fall panel side down, and not Milly side down. When it touched the floor, Nikki came running in with a can of solvent, and got Milly loose from the panel. She was able to stand, and she waved at the camera. She pulled her helmet, and we could see Nikki cover her nose and back away. Milly headed for the shower. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
Andre said, “The saucer hasn’t detonated, Boss.”
Steve said, “I think a small bot could deactivate that trap, Boss.” I replied, “Make sure you get a volunteer. I still don’t trust that mess.”
Scotti said, “Odie is already on his way, Boss. He didn’t want to miss out on this one.”
“Good deal.”
Saucy put Odie’s feed up on the screen. We saw him go aboard, and find where he needed to cut to get into the bay with the explosives. Once he had an access cut, he went in and pulled the power on the printer, so it wouldn’t be able to make more explosives. Then he disarmed the charges connected to the panel, and backed out. Scotti said, “We should be able to get things straightened out from there.”
Topper said, “If you could, please, get rid of that DK before you bring that thing aboard.”
“Of course, Skipper.”
Our view shifted to a cargo bay view in a freighter, as it took the saucer aboard. A pair of engineer bots descended on it, pulling the offending panel and getting rid of the unwanted cargo. One of the bots took the explosive to the ramp, and threw it overboard. A few seconds later, a fighter came by, and detonated it. The other bot emerged from the access panel, and the two of them gave a thumbs up to the camera.
Scotti said, “My crew reports the saucer is safe to bring aboard, Skipper.”
“Proceed, then. Tear that thing down to its atoms, and make sure there are no more surprises, before we deliver it to Commodore Sloan.”
“Understood, Skipper. Scotti out.”
Andre asked, “Will you be needing anything else?”
I said, “No, Andre.”
Topper added, “Me, either.”
“Andre out.”
Steve asked, “Can I get a copy of what Scotti finds? The whole idea that a known clean vessel could build a bomb is freaking me out a little.”
Topper said, “I’ll be sure she sends you what she finds, Steve. I’m not crazy about the whole idea, either.”
“If you fellows don’t need anything else, I’m going to go do some other things.”
I said, “I don’t need anything, Steve.”
Topper said, “I don’t either.”
“Mason out, then.”
Topper looked at me, and asked, “Do you want us to stay here in a defensive formation, in case someone shows up?”
“Leave a destroyer, and have them keep their fighters on patrol. I would think that would be enough to handle whatever is going to show up.”
“Will do, Boss.”
Saucy said, “Captain Branham for you, Boss.”
“Put him on please, Saucy.”
John appeared on the screen. “Do you need anything else, Bob?”
“I think we’ve done what we need to here. I’m going to leave a small force, just in case somebody shows up. You can head back to Charlie’s whenever you’re ready.”
“Understood. It was nice to get to visit with you. Come back when you can stay longer.”
“Will do. Wilson out.”
“Branham out.”
When John faded from the screen, Topper said, “The rest of our escorts are in formation, and ready to resume FTL. Do you have a destination for us, Boss?”
“We’re this close to Earth, we might as well go ahead and deliver Milly to the Academy. Hopefully, after that we can head out to Sally’s new planet, and see what we think.”
“Sounds good, Boss. Do you think we could get some shore leave, while we’re at Earth anyway?”
“Might as well. You want to play that concert for Julie?”
“Seems like the thing to do, since we’re in the neighborhood.”
“It does, doesn’t it? Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
“You heard the man, Ruth.”
“On it, Skipper.” The stars went away, and I said, “I’m headed to the landing bay. I want to see Milly for myself.”
Topper replied, “I think she wants to see you too. She’s waiting in your office.”
“That works.” I unstrapped, and went to the office.
Milly got out of her chair, and said, “Tio! Thanks for coming after me!” She hugged me. When she let me go, we sat down. I said, “If any of us had known, we would have never let you fly off in that thing.”
“I know that, Tio. I may irritate Scotti from time to time, but she wouldn’t maroon me.”
“How bad was it?”
“Ask Tia. She nearly passed out, when I opened my suit. I had been living in that thing for days, and I barfed from all the spinning when
I got blown free.”
“Are you okay now?”
“I seem to be.”
“It took a while for Zoom to realize you were overdue. She figured you were visiting someone on Earth, or something like that.”
“You’re going to have to put in some kind of system for checking in, when a ship gets where it’s going, aren’t you? You’re not going to be happy, as long as the possibility of this happening again exists.”
“I guess I’m going to have to. It seems like we’re drifting off toward bureaucracy, though.”
“If the AIs take care of it, I don’t think you will have too much to worry about, do you?”
“Probably not. Are you good to go?”
“Dixie scanned me when I came aboard, and couldn’t find an excuse to take me to medbay. What do you think?”
“I think you must be in pretty good shape, then. Dixie is pretty good at finding excuses.”
“I’d better get back, I just wanted to come by and say ‘thanks’.”
“I didn’t want to tell your grandma we lost you. Purely self preservation.”
“You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?”
“Believe what you want to. You will anyway.”
“True enough. See you later, Tio.”
“Later, Miles.”
When she was gone, Jeeves brought me a cup of coffee. He said,
“She doesn’t look any the worse for wear, does she?”
“No, she does not. Almost looked like she enjoyed the adventure.”
“I was hoping I was imagining that part, Boss.”
“Me too. I’m not sure she’s going to be able to deal with being stuck at the Academy, teaching the newbies how to keep the shiny side up.”
“Zoom is running the joint, Boss. How boring can it be?”
“Good point.”
“What do you think we ought to do now?”
“I’m sure some mail came in, while we were in normal space. I should probably go over that, just to make sure everything is still
running smooth.”
“Sounds thrilling.”
“It might get that way, when we get to Earth, and I have to take the fleet back from Dingus.”
“I doubt it. You thought that the last time you gave him the fleet, and nothing happened.”
I dug into the inbox, and didn’t find much. A few I suggested courses of action, and sent back. Most, I just acknowledged, and went on. I found a note from Natti that he and his team were settled into the place we had leased them on Shaved Ape Key, and they intended to stay there until things settled down back on Oak. The last one was something I really didn’t expect. Sally Crane, who had gotten in touch with me a while back to help her grandma, had asked me to come visit her school, since she had a teacher who refused to believe she had met me. I figured I could make time for that, so I replied that I would be there as soon as I could. I forwarded it to Bone and Janice, so that they could work out the details. I closed the inbox, and looked up. Nikki had slipped in while I was working. She said, “You didn’t really get enough shore leave, Bob. We really should have some fun while we’re at Earth, before we head out into the black again.”
“I’ve already agreed to a fun day out while we’re there, Hon. You don’t need to worry.”
“I know the kinds of things you think are fun, Caveman. I surely do need to worry.”
“No biggie. Just straightening out someone who doesn’t believe what a nice little girl is telling her. I’m not sure why she didn’t just get her mom to straighten them out, but we’ll figure that out when we get there.”
“You’re off to stick it to someone who’s full of themself? That does sound like the kind of thing you do for fun, alright.”
“You’re not coming with me?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“I think we may need some of your tricky piloting.”
“What are you thinking, Caveman?”
“Well, I’m sure they aren’t going to have any convenient parking. Could you get the Audi to hover an inch or two off the ground, without a pilot?”
“You mean, leave it in a hover, and go inside the building?”
“Exactly. That way, when they give us crap about ‘you can’t park there’, we can explain that we aren’t parked, since a vehicle has to be touching the ground to be parked, doesn’t it?”
“What have these folks done to you, Caveman?”
“Nothing, but I’ve met a lot of the same kind of people. Might as well set them straight, while we have the opportunity.”
“I think you have some leftover hostility that you’re taking out on these people, just because they’re handy.”
“That could be, I suppose. Does that make it wrong?”
“Depends how how badly they’ve behaved, I think.”
“You’re telling me I need to get the bots to tap into the security cams at that school, and see just how hard a time they’ve been giving young Sally Crane?”
“I think that might be wise, before you go charging in there, looking to knock some heads.”
“I suppose you’re right. Surely you didn’t come up here just to keep me from going off the rails.”
“I know how close you’ve gotten with Milly. I figured you would be needing to get rid of something, after almost losing her.”
“You’re right about that. That mess scared me.”
“Me too. I’m glad Eve figured out that we could slow down her rotation by putting air back in the bay. I wasn’t sure what to do.”
“It all worked out in the end, though. You got her home safe.”
“If I recall, you were the one who scrambled a chunk of the fleet to come and look for her.”
“And then I sat in the office, or on the bridge, and worried. Not exactly hard work, like you pilots were doing.”
“How soon will we be at Earth?”
“Earth system shouldn’t be too long. The planet herself, that depends on how long we take saying goodbye to Miles.”
“I suppose it does. I was wondering if you wanted to get this errand of yours done today?”
“Would probably be best, I suppose. Talk to Janice once we emerge, and see what she’s been able to arrange.”
“She’s working on it?”
“I sent the message to her, with a note asking her to look into it. She usually gets things done, so I have no reason to think she won’t be able to handle this one.”
“Makes sense. I need to check with Scotti, as well, and make sure the Audi is flight ready.”
“I’m sure it is, but it never hurts to check.”
Ryder knocked on the door frame. Nikki said, “I’ll get on out of the way. Looks like you have work to do.”
Ryder said, “You don’t have to leave, Ma’am. I just wanted to get the Admiral to explain a few things, so that I can do my job better.”
“I have some other things to check on anyway, Ryder. I’ll get out of your way.”
She left, and Ryder came into the office. I asked, “What can I do for you, Ryder?”
“I’m curious why you made such an effort to recover the saucer and pilot?”
“Well, I didn’t care that much about the saucer, but the pilot is a girl whose welfare I’m responsible for. I did what I could to make sure we got her back in good condition. Furthermore, if I had put better protocols in place for making sure that ships arrived when they were supposed to, there would have been ships looking for her much sooner. Her failure to arrive slipped through the cracks in our system, and that left her alone in the black. I’d like to think that I would do the same for any crewmember, but her being a personal friend did make it more urgent in my mind. Does that cover what you were wondering about?”
“I think so. If the pilot had been a bot, would you have mounted such an effort?”
“That’s a complicated question. I would have definitely mounted an effort to find them, that’s not in question. I doubt it would have been as large, or as rushed. One of the factors that caused us to launch such a large response was the fact that we didn’t know what kind of situation Milly was in, so far as life support was concerned.
She could have easily been in a situation where a few hours would have made the difference whether she survived or not. A bot isn’t likely to malfunction if they have to wait a few hours in the black. It’s not that I don’t care as much about bots, it’s more about the risks of a delay.”
“I see what you mean. Both organics and bots are valued crew members, but you can take longer to rescue a bot, simply because it won’t put the bot’s continued existence in peril?”
“Exactly. Jeeves over there was in the black for a long time before we found him. I doubt it’s one of his favorite memories, but he survived, all the same.”
Jeeves replied, “All told, I’d rather be here, Boss.”
“I’m sure of that, Jeeves. Was that all you needed, Ryder?”
“Well, I was wondering what the fleet is going to be doing next.”
“That isn’t clear to me, either. At the moment, the Gene is headed to Earth, and the Aldrin is headed back to Charlie’s to resume picket duty. I intend for the crew of the Gene to get some more down time at Earth, and then the Gene will break orbit for the new planet that Sally has investigated and found suitable for colonization. I have yet to decide whether the Armstrong will accompany us, or not. The Conrad will remain on picket duty at Earth, in any case.”
“May I ask why you would take the Armstrong, and not the Conrad?”
“Once again, it’s an organic concern. Captain Cachi’s wife, Chief Engineer Cachi, is trying to get the Fleet Academy running, and wouldn’t be able to leave Earth system. If there is no pressing need, I don’t want to separate them. It would cause both of them emotional distress, and lower their operating efficiency.”
“Thanks, Boss, for putting that in terms I can understand. I’m still getting used to working with organics, I’m afraid.”
“I haven’t been helping you much, either. I should give you more work to do.”
“I’ve been keeping busy, studying how you do things, and all that has happened while I was deactivated.”
“Still, I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate your help. Do you have any suggestions for when we get to the new planet?”
“I am curious why it doesn’t have a name yet, Boss.”
“I haven’t seen it. I really don’t know what would be appropriate, until I do.”
“You want the name to fit the planet, and not just be a designator?”
“I do. It makes it easier for us limited organics to remember.”
“I see. Do you have any names in mind?”
“Well, if it’s as nice as Sally seems to think, Zarathrustra. Other than that, I haven’t really thought about it.”
“Why Zarathrustra?”
“It was the name of a nice planet in a series of books I like a lot.”
“I see. Your affection for the books will make it easy for you to remember the name, but what about the rest of the fleet?”
“Maybe I give them too much credit, but I doubt we have too many people in the fleet who haven’t read those particular books.”
“That’s an interesting thought process, Boss. Would you be offended if I checked into your assumption that most of the fleet has read the books you’re talking about?”
“Not at all. I think that’s part of your job, isn’t it? Telling me when I’m making bad assumptions?”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I suppose you’re right. I think I have enough to think about for now, Boss. I’ll get on out of your way.”
“If you’re sure. I don’t have a lot to do, until we emerge at Earth system.”
“I’m sure, Boss. Sally has told me how hard it was for her to get used to the way you do things. She thinks it was because she tried to take it all in at once. I’m determined to try and take it in only in small doses, so that I don’t have so much trouble.”
“That sounds wise, Ryder. Feel free to come by whenever you need to talk, or see something you don’t understand. It very well could be that something you don’t understand is something that the rest of us have missed.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, Boss.”
She left, and the door closed behind her. Jeeves said, “I’ve been keeping an eye on what she’s doing, Boss. She’s been working hard to get up to speed on working with the fleet. I think she’s going to be good help, once she decides she has something to contribute.”
“How do you suggest we convince her of that?”
“I’m not sure, Boss. You want me to check into it, don’t you?”
“Well, Jeeves, I have to think that you would have a better chance at figuring out bot psychology than I would, given that you are, after all, a bot.”
“You have to make it logical, don’t you?”
“I figured it would go farther toward convincing you, that way. I don’t have a clue how to go about it, so I was hoping to hand the problem off to someone who might be able to deal with it.”
“I see what you mean, but that still leaves me holding the bag, doesn’t it?”
“If you don’t think you can figure it out, pass it off to Bone. If he can’t come up with something, I don’t think there is an answer.”
“Do you suppose it would be okay for me to work on it with Bone? I might learn something.”
“I think that’s between you and Bone. It doesn’t need to rise to my level, unless you two start scattering bot parts in the hallways.”
“I don’t think it would come to blows, Boss.”
I looked at my watch. “It looks like I have some time before lunch. You want to try some more pool?”
“That depends. Do you think you can do better than you did earlier?”
“I would think so. I’m not worried about Milly nearly as much.”
“You’re still thinking she was too psyched about her little adventure?”
“I am. It may have just been leftover exuberance from getting rescued, though. I’ll have a talk with her once she’s settled down, and see what’s what.”
“I’ll rack, then.”
We shot pool ‘til lunchtime, and I did better than earlier in the day. When Jeeves mentioned it was lunchtime, I headed out to the galley. Nikki and the girls were waiting. Nikki asked, “What did Ryder need?”
“She just wanted to be sure she understood why we all came racing after Miles. I think I got her straightened out.”
Milly asked, “What was she confused about?”
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1102 Aedh. This Aedh is stated to have reigned as monarch of Ireland from A.D. 568 to 594.
1103. Building. Cro; lit. a ‘sty,’ ‘pen,’ or ‘hut.’
1104. Small allowance. Teirci; lit. ‘scarcity.’
1105. Collar. Culpait. The etymology of this word is given in Cormac’s Glossary, as cail-fuit; cail, ‘a defence;’ and fuit, ‘cold.’ Duald mac Firbis explains it by coiléir, ‘collar.’ See Stokes’s Cormac, p. 33.
1106. Hood. Att; properly at, from Engl. ‘hat,’ as hood is from Anglo-Sax. hod, Germ. hut. Comp. atcluig (glossed ‘galea’); lit. ‘skullhat,’ or helmet, and at anach, (gl. ‘caputiatus’) Stokes’s Irish Glosses, p. 40.
1107. Henceforth. Iarmotha; lit. afterwards. In the preface to the Amra in Leabar Breac (p. 238 c), the corresponding expression is re la, ‘during its day.’
1108. The poet. Keating says that the poet was St. Molaisse, the person by whose award Colum Cille was sent into exile. History of Ireland; reign of Domhnall, son of Aedh.
1109. In a boat. In ethar. In eirinn, ‘to Eriu,’ Leabar Breac and Yellow Book of Lecan.
1110. Avenged. Gu n-aithfed fair; lit. ‘that he would avenge it on him.’ In the Leabar Breac and Yellow Book of Lecan, the corresponding expression is, go mairfed é, ‘that he (Aedh) would kill him.’
1111. Assembly. Airecht. The general meaning of the word airecht (deriv. from aire, a ‘chief,’ or ‘leader’) is an assembly, or conference; but as used here, it might, perhaps, be more properly translated in the narrower sense of a ‘party.’
1112. Them; i.e. Colum Cille and his company. In the preface to the Amra in Leabar Breac and the Yellow Book of Lecan, the words used are na clerig, ‘the clerics.’
1113. Men. m (for mac), lit. ‘sons,’ or ‘youths.’
1114. Wounded. Briste; lit. ‘broken.’
1115. Bells. Ceolán. Ceolán, the dim. of ceol, ‘music,’ is a very general name for a bell of any size, although glossographers usually describe it as ‘a small bell.’ But the word ceolán is often met in
connection with the adj. bec, ‘little,’ as ceolán bec, ‘a little bell.’— Book of Lismore, 117.
1116. Against him. Fair; lit. ‘upon him.’
1117. Conall Clogach. ‘Conall of the bells.’ In Irish history he is generally called the righ-oinmhid, or ‘royal simpleton.’
1118. Kingship. This means that Colum Cille declared him disqualified from succeeding to the kingship.
1119. Bade him welcome. Do fer failti fris; lit. ‘gave welcome to him.’
1120. Blessings. Briathra; lit. ‘words,’ or ‘promises.’
1121. Fifty. Domhnall only reigned from 628 to 642.
1122. The queen. A. L. has do Aed, ‘to Aedh’ (the king). But the copies of the preface to the Amra in the Leabar Breac, and Yellow Book of Lecan, have don rigain, ‘to the queen.’
1123. Her son. Conall was the queen’s son, and Domhnall her step-son.
1124. Crane-cleric. Corr-chlerech. This contemptuous expression was probably used in allusion to St. Colum Cille’s tall stature, alta proceritas, as Oswald describes his shade (Adamnan, lib. i. cap. 1).
1125. Granted. Do cedaig; lit. ‘he allowed,’ ‘consented.’
1126. Cranes, or rather herons. Cuirr, pl. of corr, a heron.
1127. Druim-ceta (pron. ‘Drum-Ketta’). Dr. Reeves identifies this place with the mound called the Mullagh (lit. summit) in Roe Park, near Newtownlimavady, Co. Londonderry.
1128. Crane-work. Corrsuidhe, A. L. But the preface in Lebor na hUidre has (better) Corraigecht. This word has two meanings. It means, firstly, the action of a crane (corr), and might be rendered ‘crane-ing,’ or screaming like a crane; and in the next place, it signifies incessant movement, from corra, to move. The author evidently intended to be facetious.
1129. Herons. Cuirr-lena; lit. ‘marsh-herons.’
1130. Live still. For many centuries after the date to which the convention of Druim-Ceta is referred, as tradition states, these two herons frequented the part of the river Roe, near the place supposed to be the site of Druim-ceta, or Dorsum-cete.
1131. On seeing the cleric. Oc facsin in clerig, L. B. Omitted in A. L.
1132. The corresponding Irish words are wanting in A. L.
1133. Will sing. Do genat; lit. ‘they will make.’
1134. Cormac. Cormac, son of Art, son of Conn, king of Ireland in the third century.
1135. Rhetoric. Rithorig. In the Yellow Book of Lecan, preface, the word is rithlerg, i.e. an extemporaneous rhapsody.
1136. Scannlan. See p. 495.
1137. Take off my shoes. Frithailas m’assa; lit. ‘will attend my shoes.’
1138 Dubh-regles. Black church, or Black abbey-church. See Colton’s Visitation (ed. Reeves), pp. 20, 56.
1139. They ... went. Do imigh siat, A. L.; ro imdigset, L. B. The Yellow Book of Lecan has ro imthig, ‘he went,’ which seems the more correct, as the subsequent part of the narrative makes no reference to the angel’s journey to Derry.
1140. Westwards. Siar. This is probably an error for sair, ‘eastwards,’ as the chancel was doubtless in the eastern part of the church.
1141. Successors. Fer thinaid; lit. ‘thy locum-tenens.’ The tradition of this imprecation is not yet extinct in Scannlan’s country of Ossory; and some Ossorians even go so far as to say that stuttering is a characteristic of Scannlan’s descendants.
1142. Enough for three. Dabach trir; lit. ‘a vat of three.’
1143. Great bachall. Mor bachall. This celebrated crozier, sent with Scannlan for his protection, is stated to have been subsequently preserved in the monastery of Durrow, in the King’s County. (Reeves’s Adamnan, p. 324.)
1144. Died. Ba marb; lit. ‘was dead.’
1145. Cause; i.e. of Colum Cille’s coming to Ireland. 1146. In place of. Fri laim; lit. ‘to the hand;’ but idiomatically signifying ‘instead of,’ or ‘with the approval of.’
1147. Two young boys. In the Leabar Breac and other copies of the Amra Preface the words are teora mná ocus maccoem óc; ‘three women and a young boy.’
1148. Arms. Na uchd; lit. ‘into his bosom.’
1149. Rent. Cain. This word anciently meant a penal tax, or fine. But in later times it was used in the sense of ‘tribute.’
1150 Preface. The Preface to the Amra (or Eulogy) he had composed for Colum Cille.
1151. It; the Amra itself.
1152. Island; i.e. Ireland. Here ends the quotation from A. L. which begins supra, p. 494.
1153. Consoling. Ca comdidnd; lit. ‘protecting’ or ‘sheltering.’
1154. Toads. Loscaind. This word is used to signify toads, frogs, and other such reptiles. In a tract on the History of the Children of Israel, in the Leabar Breac, the ‘ranæ’ of Exodus, cap. viii., is rendered by loscind, so that we should probably translate ‘frogs’ instead of ‘toads.’
1155. Those brethren; viz. the brethren who were beside Colum Cille in the recles, or church.
1156. Sabhall. The word Sabhall is in Irish employed to denote a ‘barn.’ The church of Saul, in the Co. Down, Ireland, has taken its name from it.
1157. Attendant. Foss; which, though used here as a noun, is more usually employed as an adj., with the meaning ‘resident.’ See O’Donovan’s Supplt. to O’Reilly’s Irish Dict., v. fos.
1158. Garran, a work-horse or hack. The corresponding word used by Adamnan is ‘caballus,’ from which comes the mod. Irish capall. The old Irish for ‘garran’ is gerrán, which seems derived from gerrad, ‘to cut,’ the ‘garran’ being always a ‘cut’ horse.
1159. Colum. This statement, taken from A. L., is not in L. B. or L. It is found, however, in the Book of Fenagh. See Kelly’s edit. (Dublin, 1875), p. 209.
1160. Certain. The orig. of this paragraph and the following one occurs only in A. L.
1161. Inish-bo-finne: ‘the island of the white cow.’ Now Bophin Island, off the coast of Mayo. The Annals of Ulster give Bishop Colman’s ‘pausat’ under A.D. 676.
1162. Paganism. Geinntlighecht; lit. ‘gentilism.’ 1163. Names. Ainm; lit. ‘name.’
1164. Would not have. Nis gebed; lit. ‘would not take.’
1165. Protégé. The word dalta, ordinarily used to signify ‘fosterchild,’ is also employed as a term of endearment. Adamnan calls Diarmait ‘minister’ and ‘ministrator.’
1166. [Immediately.] Fo cedoir Om. in L. B. and L. 1167. Utter. Do gnid; lit. ‘would make.’ 1168. ‘Three fifties.’ The Psalms. 1169. In the sea. Isin liur. Liur is the abl. of ler, ‘the sea.’ But we should probably understand ‘seashore.’
1170. When. The orig. of this sentence is only found in A. L. 1171. Blow it away. Conidsetad gaeth; i.e. the mark of his ribs was imprinted, through his clothing, in the sand, until defaced by the action of the wind blowing the loose sand over the mark. This stanza is somewhat different in the Preface to the Amra in Lebor na hUidre 1172. And. From this down to the bracket on p. 507 is translated from A. L., the corresponding Irish being omitted in L. B. and L. 1173. Savoury things. Ionmar; the Irish for ‘dripping,’ or ‘seasoning.’ Colgan translates it ‘obsonium’ (Acta SS., p. 734).
1174. Kept vigil. Figlis; a verb from figil, ‘vigil.’ It is the third sg. pres. indic., but is here used in the pret. sense. 1175. Him. The person here alluded to was probably Judas Iscariot.
1176. Disciple. Dalta. A foster-child. See note 1165, p. 505. 1177. Church. Neimedh = nemed (gl. Sacellum.—Zeuss, Gram. Celt. 11).
1178. Which the wave frequents. Gus ataithig tonn; ‘to which a wave frequents.’ The allusion in this expression is rather obscure. 1179. Fulness. Comlantas; lit. ‘completeness,’ from comlan, ‘complete,’ ‘perfect.’
1180. Explains. The explanation is not very explanatory, and seems to have no reference to Colum Cille, unless we may assume that it was intended to describe the chalices as made of the same materials as the party (foirend) of Crimthann’s chessmen. 1181. Could take it. Nosberaidh, A. L. The reading in the Amra Lebor na hUidre is nisbeir, ‘carries it not.’
1182. Party. Foirend; lit. ‘a crew,’ or ‘company.’
1183 Findruine. A metal, the constituents of which are not well known. O’Clery describes it as prás go n-air-gead buailte, ‘brass, with silver hammered on it.’—Mart. Donegal. App. to Introduction, xli. 1184. Cumhals. A standard of value frequently mentioned in the Brehon Laws as worth three cows. Here ends the addition from A. L.,
which begins with the bracket, p. 505, supra 1185. Of them; i.e. of the days that elapsed since St. Colum Cille’s death.
THE RULE OF SAINT COLUMBA.
This rule was first printed by Dr. Reeves from a MS. in the Burgundian Library at Brussels, with a translation by the late Professor O’Curry, in the Appendix to Primate Colton’s Visitation of Derry, printed for the Irish Archæological Society. It was again printed in Haddan and Stubbs’ Councils, vol. ii. p. 119. The translation alone is here given.
T R C C .
Be alone in a separate place near a chief city, if thy conscience is not prepared to be in common with the crowd.
Be always naked in imitation of Christ and the Evangelists. Whatsoever little or much thou possessest of anything, whether clothing, or food, or drink, let it be at the command of the senior and at his disposal, for it is not befitting a religious to have any distinction of property with his own free brother.
Let a fast place, with one door, enclose thee.
A few religious men to converse with thee of God and His Testament; to visit thee on days of solemnity; to strengthen thee in the Testaments of God and the narratives of the Scriptures.
A person too who would talk with thee in idle words, or of the world; or who murmurs at what he cannot remedy or prevent, but who would distress thee more should he be a tattler between friends and foes, thou shalt not admit him to thee, but at once give him thy benediction should he deserve it.
Let thy servant be a discreet, religious, not tale-telling man, who is to attend continually on thee, with moderate labour of course, but always ready.
Yield submission to every rule that is of devotion.
A mind prepared for red martyrdom.
A mind fortified and steadfast for white martyrdom.
Forgiveness from the heart to every one.
Constant prayers for those who trouble thee.
Fervour in singing the office for the dead, as if every faithful dead was a particular friend of thine.
Hymns for souls to be sung standing.
Let thy vigils be constant from eve to eve, under the direction of another person.
Three labours in the day, viz., prayer, work, and reading.
The work to be divided into three parts, viz., thine own work, and the work of thy place, as regards its real wants; secondly, thy share of the brethren’s work; lastly, to help the neighbours, viz., by instruction, or writing, or sewing garments, or whatever labour they may be in want of, ut Dominus ait, ‘Non apparebis ante me vacuus.’
Everything in its proper order; Nemo enim coronabitur nisi qui legitime certaverit.
Follow almsgiving before all things.
Take not of food till thou art hungry.
Sleep not till thou feelest desire.
Speak not except on business.
Every increase which comes to thee in lawful meals, or in wearing apparel, give it for pity to the brethren that want it, or to the poor in like manner.
The love of God with all thy heart and all thy strength.
The love of thy neighbour as thyself.
Abide in the Testaments of God throughout all times.
Thy measure of prayer shall be until thy tears come;
Or thy measure of work of labour till thy tears come;
Or thy measure of thy work of labour, or of thy genuflexions, until thy perspiration often comes, if thy tears are not free.
F . III.
CATALOGUE OF RELIGIOUS HOUSES, at the end of the Chronicle of H S , c. A.D. 1272, so far as it relates to Scotland.
This Catalogue was printed by Mr. J. Stevenson from Cott. MS. Cleopat. A. xii. fol. 56, in his notes to the Scalachronica, edited for the Bannatyne and Maitland Clubs, pp. 241, 242; and again in Haddan and Stubbs’ Councils, vol. ii. pp. 181, 182. The monasteries in ‘Laudian’ are omitted.
I S .
Episcopatus Sancti Andree { Canonici Nigri. Keledei.
Abbatia Dunfermelin S. Trinitatis Monachi Nigri.
Abbatia Streuelin S * * *
Canonici Nigri.
Prioratus de May; de Readinge Monachi Nigri.
Prioratus in Insula S. Columbe Canonici Nigri.
Abbatia de Lundres S * * * { Monachi Nigri de Tyron.
Prioratus de Pert S * * * Moniales Nigræ.
Abbatia de Scone S * * * Canonici Nigri.
Prioratus de Nostinot S * * * Canonici Nigri.
Abbatia de Cupre Monachi Albi.
Abbatia Aberbrothoc Monachi de Tyron.
Episcopatus Dunkeldre S. Columkille { Canonici Nigri. Keledei.
Episcopatus de Brechin Keledei.
Episcopatus de Aberde[n]
Episcopatus de Mureue
Canonici Seculares.
Prioratus de Hurtard { Monachi Nigri de Dunferml.
Abbatia de Kinlos Monachi Albi.
Episcopatus de Ros Keledei.
Episcopatus de Glascu Canonici Seculares.
Abbatia Sancti Kinewini Monachi de Tyron.
Episcopatus de Galeweye
Abbatia de Candida Casa Monachi Albi.
Abbatia M Monachi Nigri.
Episcopatus de Du[m]blin Keledei.
Episcopatus de Katenesio Keledei.
Episcopatus de Argiul Keledei.
Abbatia in Insula (Iona) Keledei.
END OF VOL. II.
PRINTED BY T AND A CONSTABLE, PRINTERS TO HER MAJESTY, AT THE EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY PRESS
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Transcriber’s Note
A nunber of footnotes are referred to in multiple places in the text using the same number On p. 485, two phrases in a single note (now note 1006) were referred to by two separate references, and both are now given as 1006.
The ecclesiastical leader Conn na-mbocht (d. 1061) appears with and without hyphens, as Conn na-bocht (p. 342) and Conn nabocht (p. 252). Modern references refer to him as Conn-na-bocht, or Conn na mBocht. Both spellings are retained.
On p. 68, a quote from Rev. William Reeves was mispunctuated, and has been corrected. See the table below for details.
Names frequently appear with some variation of spelling, and given the fluidity of vowels in Gaelic, Anglic, and Latin, these have usually been retained. That said, the place-name ‘Lanfortin’ appears only once as ‘Lonfortin’ and while it seems to have been in use at the time, is assumed to be an error here.
The text mentions ‘Brude, son of Dargart’ repeatedly, save for three times on p. 259. The first has ‘Dergart’ in the author’s voice, ‘Dergard’ in a quoted passage, and ‘Dergert’ in a footnote on that page. The first has been corrected, but the quoted instances were left as printed. Errors deemed most likely to be the printer’s have been corrected, and are noted here. The references in the table below are to the page and line in the original.
There are a number of instances of quotations being unclosed or otherwise mispunctuated. Closure is sometimes not obvious, and where possible the original sources were consulted. Skene often begins with quotation and continues in paraphrase without clearly marking such. Where it is not clear, these have been corrected and noted as ‘Probable.’
An extended quote from Bede’s Life of St. Cuthbert (pp. 216-27) mishandled embedded quotation marks, which have been corrected.
3.36 in north Hy-Faelan,[’] Added.
5.27 ad Catholicam fidem dirigit.[’] Added.
6.34 till the empire was broken up[,/.] Replaced.
20.26 gives of himself[ ]in these documents Inserted.
27.25 in the territory of the Britons.[’] Added.
29.6 not satisfied with[t / t]his Replaced.
30.26 [‘/“]What would be given Replaced.
31.1 faith in Ireland after Patrick.[”]’ Inserted.
33.30 extended their pos[s]essions Inserted.
37.24 and one at L[o/a]nfortin Replaced.
57.7 The prim[i]tive Irish monastery Restored.
61.36 procurante perducti sunt. [’] Added.
68.5 [‘]in whom the tenancy of the lands Added.
68.8 [‘]Ecclesiastica progenies, [’] Removed.
68.26 the abbacy taken (in their order).[’] Added.
70.24 Co[cn/nc]had went to Armagh Transposed.
80.20 which professes[s] to be a chronological digest Removed. 120.29 over his grave.[’] Added.
151.12 [‘/“]To our lords and most dear brethren Replaced.
151.29 we were eating.[”]’ Added.
145.4 clean linen cloths[’] Added.
149.20 [‘/“]As thy devout wish Replaced.
157.36 protestatus est.[’] Added.
165.28 nor question their sanctity.[’] Added.
167.29 Inisboufinde,[’] Added.
176.18 [‘]Naiton, king of the Picts Added.
181.18 ‘O utinam si sic esset,[’] Added.
181.26 being solemnly sung.[’] Removed.
184.3 [‘]next morning Kentigern Added.
188.22 [‘]some cleared and levelled Added.
194.28 is too graphic to be om[m]itted Omitted.
196.4 It[,] must, however, have reached Removed.
206.20 and became a solitary.[’] Added.
202.30 with the rest of the brethren;[’] Added.
213.9 from a college of monks. [’] Added.
216.14 the whole kingdom of the Picts.[’] Added.
216.25 [‘/“]Keep peace,[’/,” he said, [‘/“]one with another, Replaced.
216.34 conversation.[’/”] Replaced.
217.1 [‘/“]But with those that err Replaced.
217.4 have no communion.[’/”] Replaced.
237.1 from the world;[’] Added.
254.2 it is called [‘/“]insula Replaced
viventium,[’/”]
254.3 the island of the living.[’] Added.
259.2 Brude, son of D[e/a]rgart Replaced.
261.12 of the twel[f]th century Inserted.
283.25 was this Cilline Droichteach;[’] Added.
283.33 princeps Ego, mortu[n/u]s est. Inverted.
291.36 the term ‘templum,[’] Added.
335.4 So that Dun is his blessed church.[’] Added.
379.27 Two part[ies] with rival abbots. Restored.
383.12 was held on the [the ]25th of September Removed.
398.34 Suppression of Keled[e]i of Abernethy. Inserted.
409.8 we find [‘]in 1544 Archibald Campbell Probable.
446.1 to the church of Deer;[’] Added.
469.29 after his example.[’] Added.
472.36 ‘few [or many[]];’ Added.
474.30 ‘through life everlast[t]ing,’ Removed.
485.38 gl. ‘fidus[’] Added.
486.39 siglum for fifty [.l.][)]; Added.
501.7 Scann[al/lan] then lifted the vessel Replaced.
509.32 Mr. J. Stevenson from Co[ll/tt]. MS. Replaced.
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