N.20 / V.46
nexus magazine
EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
CONTENTS
DESIGN HAYLIE GRAY MANAGING EDITOR
—
JAMES RAFFAN CONTRIBUTORS
_03
Formal Apology
_04
Lettuce to the Editor
_05
News
_08
News from the University
_09
Sport
_10
Ridiculist & Vox Pops
_11
Reviews
_14
Honest Matt
_15
Horoscopes & Playlist
_16
Auteur
_17
Arts and Stuff
_18
A Study in Cleanliness with
Nicky Hager
_22
Rustling Up Votes
_26
Why Should We Vote?
SPORTS GUY DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE KARL GUETHERT LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAURENCE MCLEAN MATT HICKS CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER GEMMA RENEE BOYER-WILLISSON TONY STEVENS JULES CRAFT COVER ARTWORK ANDRE KONG FACEBOOK.COM/ANDREKONGPHOTOGRAPHY PHOTOGRAPHY & ILLUSTRATION CAM ROBINSON MORGAHNA GODWIN ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS ANDRE KONG LOUISE HUTT ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
_30 Columns OFFICES GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING
_38
Blind Date
GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON
_39 Advice
ONLINE
_41 Recipe
NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ FACEBOOK.COM/NEXUSNZ @NEXUSMAG SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE
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_42 Puzzles
nexus magazine
FORMAL APOLOGY JAMES RAFFAN
— This week (or last, depending on where you are
In our eyes the title suggested it was a process story.
reading this) we published an article titled “First,
As I understand it there have been several com-
Let’s Kill All The Lawyers,” a pithy title that has its
plaints laid from people on all sides of the issue and
roots in Shakespeare. The article title was meant to
investigations are still underway.
convey the belief of the writer and the Editorial staff
I do want to say on behalf of the entire Nexus
that the process of declaring an election winner was
Magazine team that we’re sorry if our execution wasn’t
seemingly heading toward a legal challenge.
as good as our intention. Personally, I don’t care who
The article used an image that unintentionally
wins. I care about transparency. But even if I did care
identified some third parties and I sincerely want to
who won it isn’t my place or anyone else’s here to try
apologise for that. Know that we have taken every
and convince you.
effort, including amending the online copy and redact-
After a long and drawn out election, 11 people will be
ing all the copies we could find to ensure the impact
declared the 2015 WSU board. They will sit in offices
was minimised. You have my word that we will also
just down the hallway and we will share a coffee
work to ensure something like that never happens
machine. We aren’t in the business of playing favou-
again.
rites, to my knowledge the magazine never has been.
Since the article was published, I have received via
Our favourite President is going to be the one who gets
Rachael Elliott an email from Roy Mazorodze, one of
their President’s column in on time and our favourite
the candidates identified in the story. Mr Mazorodze
board members are going to be the ones that get shit
has taken issue with a number of the points in the
done for you guys.
article and I would like to clarify the intent behind it. The news article was written to highlight details in
From time to time we will disagree with them. We might even call them names. But we would never
a complaint we received a copy of after making an
intentionally defame them. After all, you never want to
inquiry with some sources. It was written with com-
fuck people off that you share a coffee machine with. If
ments sourced from a complainant, and because of
the article caused Roy or anyone else any undue stress
that it may have given the impression that we were
then I am sorry.
leading you to view it sympathetically. We weren’t. The
Nexus will remain committed to championing issues
allegations made around a party and the purchase of
we feel you need to know about. If you’re reading this
communal alcohol to elicit votes were not ours. They
in the magazine then I would like to tell you we have a
were a direct quote, they have been refuted by Roy
massive NZ Election issue this week and while I also
and have not been proven.
have personal opinions about all of the Hamilton East
We don’t know whether these allegations were true and we certainly weren’t trying to present them as fact.
and West candidates, I would ask that you read, stay informed, decide for yourselves and vote this week.
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LETTUCE
nexus magazine
I smell something fishy. ANONYMOUS
The further those in leadership roles move away from what the people want, the more deception comes into
I don’t think either lot were particularly inspiring but hey I guess one side didn’t cheat.
Even John Armstrong can’t justify this
play to make things look rosey. Well quite frankly WSU,
R. WEST
in light of the sad excuse of an SGM recently, I smell not roses but something more of a fishy nature. I dont believe that the students best interests are at the forefront of all WSU intentions. Get those fishy leaders out
I am pretty sure handing out free beer and messaging
and get some roses in, roses who are willing to work
people to vote for you on Election Day is the clearest
for the students.
breach of the electoral rules one could get. Not even John Armstrong could justify the Young Nat backed candidates election rule breaches.
Election Rant ANONYMOUS
Electoral Rules THAT WANKER THAT LIKES THE RULES
Maybe Nicky Hager is really onto something. It seems like dirty politics is not just the prerogative of Whale oil and his fishy mates. I don’t know if I believe the stuff
Why do we even have electoral rules if they don’t get
about the book burning but the “Did he burn the books?
enforced? The Nexus coverage of this years election
Is not the right question” article is pretty disturbing. It
does not inspire a lot of faith in the democratic process.
sounds like it’s a group of Young Nats trying to emulate
People say all politicians are the same, they lie they
the behaviour of the grownups in their party. Good on
cheat etc. I don’t think that it’s true and even if it is that
Nexus for the coverage, you did Nicky proud.
shouldn’t stop us rallying against unfairness when we see it. Disqualify the offending candidates, do it in an open and transparent process. Give us a reason to have
Apathy Cured
faith in the WSU, and our politicians of the future.
ANONYMOUS
DISCLAIMER: Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the
Was last week’s Nexus dramatic or what! Alleged book
publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency.
RAP TO THE EDITOR
burnings, electoral fraud, and a shady conspiracy of a hostile takeover from the Young Nats. Sounds like shit is going down at WSU, finally politics gets interesting.
content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its
Shaolin Monk
A mind clear as crystal, experienced fighter of the shaolin,
Election Bullshit ANONYMOUS
snake stance to tiger, the heart is loudly growlin. Fearless in every battle, body motion equals fluidity, his opponent's skill is outmatched by brute force and agility.
Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or con-
What a load of shit, a steaming moist cow pad. We had
tains threats of violence or hate speech.
the cupcake conservatives and the tree hugging liberals.
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Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
NEWS
NEXUS PREDICTS A WINNER JAMES RAFFAN
— Hamilton has always been what American politicians refer to as a “bell-
Cliff Allen - Labour
wether” city, meaning our two electorates often line up with the national
Key Feature Of His Tertiary Policy: Stronger Student Unions, reinstating post
result. When Hamilton was last held by Labour candidates so was the
grad student allowances.
Beehive. Given that information it is also conceivable that the WSU Golden
Key Feature Of His Jobs Policy: Investment in education and a capital
Key Debate may be a “bellwether” of the electorate. A win here might
gains tax.
not only decide the debate but also the electorate and with it the country.
Key Feature Of His Child Poverty Policy: better social safety net.
So all eyes are on the two likely candidates; National’s incumbent David
Best exchange: “We have done our research, we have got the numbers
Bennett and Labour’s Doctor Cliff Allen. Rather than go through point by
David and here they are.”
monotonous point in a debate where no candidate kept to the two minute
He didn’t just say that did he?: (on Labour/Green boat image) “It looks a
time limit we thought we would produce a highlight real:
lot more fun than National’s boat that’s just a bunch of white men rowing
David Bennett (Incumbent) - National
Verdict: If anyone can beat Bennett it might be Cliff Allen. It also might
Key Feature Of His Tertiary Policy: A strong economy growing at 3.7%.
not be.
in the same direction.”
Key Feature Of His Jobs Policy: A strong economy growing at 3.7%. Key Feature Of His Child Poverty Policy: A strong economy growing at 3.7%.
Mark Servian - Greens
Best exchange: “A vote for National is a vote to continue strong economic
Key Feature Of His Tertiary Policy: Free Education, Universal allowance.
growth and complete projects like the Hamilton expressway.”
Key Feature Of His Jobs Policy: Replace the ETS, growth in sector of Green
He didn’t just say that did he?: “A vote for Labour is a vote for a four headed
jobs.
monster coalition” unlike our current coalition of National, United Future,
Key Feature Of His Child Poverty Policy: Significant spending on child
ACT and The Maori Party.
poverty.
Verdict: He was consistent, he was on message and he was confident, some-
Best exchange: “We have been talking about capital gains for a while now,
times maybe a little smug but he’s experienced and it showed.
it’s good of Labour to come to the party.”
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He didn’t just say that did he?: “I don’t want to be your Hamilton East MP.” Then why do you get to talk? Verdict: Nice guy. Won’t finish last, won’t finish first either though. Ray Calvert - Internet-Mana Key Feature Of His Tertiary Policy: Free... all free. Key Feature Of His Jobs Policy: The Internet, tech jobs for everyone. Key Feature Of His Child Poverty Policy: “It’s about partnerships between the community, the government, the school, and the family.” Best exchange: “On The Nation Bill English said our plan B for the economy is to keep doing plan A, meanwhile dairy is declining.” He didn’t just say that did he?: “Child-Ren,” Three times as though it was two separate words, it was distracting. Besides everyone knows it’s pro-
CIVILITY (AND RON SMITH) WAS NOT THE WINNER ON THE DAY
nounced “kids.” Verdict: A likeable energiser bunny who doesn’t live here and doesn’t want the gig. Ron Smith - ACT Key Feature Of His Tertiary Policy: User pays, and pays interest.
JAMES RAFFAN
Key Feature Of His Jobs Policy: Lowering the corporate tax rate.
—
Key Feature Of His Child Poverty Policy: Reducing beneficiary dependency and also (weirdly) reducing single parents.
The WSU Golden Key Hamilton East Candidates Debate may not
Best exchange: “You’ll note I haven’t tried to interrupt you once Mr Calvert.”
have had a winner last week but it certainly had a loser, and that
He didn’t just say that did he?: Pick one, it was a tough room.
loser was anyone who went to the debate hoping to see decent
Verdict: At times it was hard not to think of Mr Smith as a sympathetic
human interaction.
figure, playing to an unresponsive demographic. Then he would talk again.
In a debate featuring five candidates it was, as is often the
So who is the new government: Nexus spoke to the only two writers in the
case, the three with the least to lose who could be considered the
office who said they hadn’t decided prior to the debate. After the debate we
most entertaining. The left wing pair of Green’s Mark Servian and
asked them both if they had made a decision, the first said “dick, I’m on the
Internet-Mana’s Ray Calvert got the largest applause, although
Maori roll, this isn’t even my electorate” the other said “yeah, I liked Cliff
both wanted it on the record early that they weren’t there to rep-
Allen.” To put this into polling-speak “Nexus conducted exhaustive post
resent you: neither one wants to be the MP for Ham East so don’t
debate research and, of all eligible voters, 100% are reporting as voting for
vote for them, vote for their parties.
Cliff Allen. This poll has a plus or minus of (let’s say) 3.5%. Congratulations
For every hero though, there must be a villain, and in this debate
to the new “Bellwether” government.
it seemed that ACT candidate Ron Smith was destined to play the role. Having been heckled by a member or two in the crowd even before his opening statement, Mr Smith must have sensed he was going to be in for a long day. You almost felt sorry for Smith: he had to stand in front of a lecture theatre he previously taught in for many of the last 40 years and espouse the values of interest on student loans and personal responsibility. It was almost setting him up to fail. The task would have been daunting had he been alone with students but with three other left wing candidates all promising free education or at least “the desire to work toward it (Allen)” he was a lamb to the slaughter. At times it seemed that Smith was more substitute teacher than candidate and that he was not only willing to play the role but relished it. Pausing between sentences to admonish a heckler for being “silly and ignorant,” telling another to “stop this childish behaviour” he even gave Ray Calvert the look that your mother PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT
gave you just before she threatened to turn the car around.
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Smith’s brightest moment was unfortunately at the end where he said that he was “Saddened that a University had come to this, where young people would rather shout down ideas that they disagree with than hear what people had to say.” At least that’s what I think he said, a lot of people were shouting him down at the time.
nexus magazine
A NATIONAL QUESTION? CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER
— With election day just five sleeps away, we're all fast running out of time to
and NZF might subside if the Cons don't quite make it across the line. If
read the political intestines. We could just wait a week to know the likely
John Key gets to choose one of them though, he'll have to weigh Winston's
lay of the land, but for those of you sitting around reading this who don't
wider popularity against National voters’ preference for a coalition with
have that kind of time, let's take one last look at your probable overlords...
Craig which could lead to amusing post-election outbursts.
Having lost one of its most stridently Tory ministers - much like Princess
Ruled out by a Labour keen to send the right messages to Winston Peters,
Di, in a flaming mangled wreck -the National Party seems to be rallying-
in a move Te Ururoa Flavell called "desperate" and "panic politics," the
hovering around 50 percent, with Labour seemingly stuck in the mid-20s
Maori Party seems destined to enter another accord with National. The
in most polls. Without getting into the arguably insidious effect of opinion polling on
party is hopeful to retain Te Tai Hauauru, Flavell is set to win the Waiariki electorate comfortably and Rangi McLean will possibly pick up another one
voter's minds, Nexus can probably justify an article about who might prop
in Tamaki Makaurau. For their part, National have indicated they wouldn't
up a National-led government once the deals are done. Despite the buoyant
make any moves on eliminating Maori seats in the near future. The Maori
polls, no one really thinks that National will rule alone, so who else will get
party will certainly be willing to bear their awkward positioning for a foot-
to drool on the levers of power?
hold in government and the preservation of initiatives like Whanau Ora.
Colin Craig, who has personally funded his Conservative party into rel-
Coming to the two shoo-ins, we have the quintessential one-man party,
evance as an attractive option for, well, conservatives, is variously 'nudging',
vampire-hair owner and Kronic enthusiast, United Future's Peter Dunne.
'inching' or ‘creeping’ his way toward the 5% threshold in opinion polls.
Well-liked by his northern Wellington constituents in the electorate of
After trying to have Murray McCully removed like some comment he didn't
Ohariu, which he has held for 30 years, National has given their voters
like, Craig was jilted by National in the East Coast Bays electorate. Not
the nod to give him the seat once again. Dunne's party is talking about
getting the nod for a similar deal to those of designated concubines ACT
flexible superannuation, an income-sharing tax for parents and hunter's
and United Future (in Epsom and Ohaiu respectively), he is now softening
and fisher's rights. Despite his party being temporarily deregistered due
his supposedly bottom line policy of binding referenda by specifying that
to a lack of members, Peter Dunne will probably still be a thing for another
the questions would have to be simple and the government could veto a
three years and beyond.
referendum on financial grounds. John Key has done his part for the rapprochement by saying he never thought Colin Craig was "whacky". When it comes to referenda-happy, conservative-y support parties,
Next is another shoo-in, ACT. In a change from previous elections they aren't running the leader of their party in their safe electorate of Epsom. Instead Jamie Whyte has been sent out to find the dozen or so glassy-
National does have a less whacky choice with NZ First looking comfort-
eyed true believers who might party vote ACT. Going into parliament in
ably over the threshold. For all his populist rhetoric, Winston Peters' criteria
his stead is this year's Little Boscawen Urban Achiever, David Seymour.
for supporting a National government seemed to have shrunk down to the
The ACT party also has no bottom lines in its dealings with National but
demand for a Royal Commission into the allegations contained in Dirty
as Whyte often reminds, is there to "provide cover" on controversial right-
Politics. John Key said the difference between his commission of inquiry
wing policies. Sending Seymour to parliament while his leader languishes
into Collins' behaviour and a Royal Commission was semantic. Now Peters
outside will probably mean the end of ACT before too long, which might
seems to agree, saying the “Royal” part was a slip of the tongue and the
suit everyone.
current inquiry has powers "sufficient to get to the truth." His other bottom
If you're reading this fresh off the press you can probably tune in a bit later
line of not working with the Maori Party (or Mana) is more problematic for
today for Kim Dotcom's 'Moment of Truth' announcement which even he
National, but the wiggle room is apparent and Key doesn’t believe in bottom
now says probably won't hurt the PM too much. Happy voting.
lines either. The bitchy and amusing verbal fight between the Conservatives
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NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY
2015 STUDENT MEMBER OF COUNCIL – NOMINATIONS CLOSE THURSDAY — Nominations for the 2015 student member on the University Council close on Thursday 18 September. All enrolled students are eligible to nominate and be nominated. Interested? Find out what’s involved at www.waikato.ac.nz/about/corporate/student-member
KINGITANGA DAY THIS THURSDAY —
FREE CAREER DEVELOPMENT WORKSHOPS — Want to get the best from your CV or cover letter? The Careers Office is running free workshops during B Semester: CV Preparation
Kingitanga Day is a free public event that celebrates the University’s relationships with the Kingitanga and iwi across Aotearoa. A wide range of seminars and workshops are happening across campus, including keynote speaker Dr Lance O’Sullivan – 2014 Kiwibank New Zealander of the Year. Kingitanga Day events kick off at 9am this Thursday, 18 September. There are no classes held on the day so students can attend
is on Monday 15 September, and Cover Letter Writing is on Thursday 18 September. To register and find out about other careers workshops, visit www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/careers/workshops.shtml
Kingitanga Day activities. For more information and to download a programme, visit www.waikato.ac.nz/events/kingitanga
RESIDENTIAL STAFF POSITIONS 2015 —
EARLY VOTING ON CAMPUS —
If you are going to be a full-time enrolled student in 2015, have a sound academic record, leadership and communication skills and experience in community living, you may be interested in applying for a residential staff position in our Halls of Residence for 2015. A briefing session on what the roles involve and how to apply is
If you’re not going to be near a voting place on Election Day, Saturday 20 September, you can vote early at The Station on Hillcrest Road. The Station will become a voting place from Monday 15 to Friday 19
being held on Wednesday 17 September at 1pm in S.1.02. For further information contact Bethea Weir at betheaw@waikato.ac.nz
September and you can vote any time from 10am-4pm each day. Anybody can vote there, no matter what electorate they’re enrolled in. If you’re not enrolled, it’s not too late, but do it now! Go online at www.elections.org.nz, freephone 0800 36 76 56, pop into a PostShop, or freetext your name and address to 3676. Got questions? Ask away on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ivotenz
WELCOME FOR NEW CHAPLAIN — Students are invited to attend a welcome for the University's new ecumenical chaplain, the Reverend Andrew McKean, on Wednesday 17 September at 2.30pm in the Lady Goodfellow Chapel.
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nexus magazine
FUN SPORTS TRIVIA FROM RECENT WEEKS —
HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?
If university has taught me one thing, it’s to pay attention
SPORTS GUY - OPINION
to the details. I’ve found this relates to sport and can be
—
SPORTS GUY
hellava helpful if you go to a quiz night and there’s a sports round. So here are some little statistics that might interest you. •
ends. Maybe the odd Thursday game, but I remember a The recent football match between England and Norway (England won 1-0 on a penalty) had the lowest recorded attendance for an England game at the new Wembley Stadium. The crowd numbers clocked in at a meagre 40,181 bums on seats. To put this in context, the final of the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy, fought out between teams from English Leagues 1 and 2, the lowest of the 4 professional English football leagues, had more attendance.
•
Once upon a time rugby only used to be on during week-
By beating Novak Djokovic in the semi-final of the US Open in 4 sets, Kei Nishikori became the first ever Japanese tennis player to reach the final of a Grand Slam.
time where you could only watch rugby on TV on Friday, Saturday and Sunday (barring a special event like the RWC). I used to enjoy rugby as much as any other Kiwi bloke, but then rounds became more spread out, and more rounds got crammed into the mix and rugby became a 5-6 day a week thing. For me, this overkill puts a dampener on my enjoyment of the game. Furthermore, you know how most sports are either a summer or a winter sport, and then have their offseason for months before they get back into it? Rugby doesn’t ever stop! It’s one competition after the next – rugby all year long. Sure, it gives you something to put on as background noise when you’re getting some work done on a week night, but aside from that, I don’t see why they can’t
•
•
With a win against the Philadelphia Phillies last
stick to playing the games on the weekend. I’m sure I’m
month, New York Mets’ pitcher Bartolo Colon
not the only person who feels like the constant broadcast-
clocked up his 200th career win. He becomes the third
ing of rugby has dampened how much enjoyment they get
Dominican-born pitcher to reach this mark, following
out of the game, and I can’t imagine that playing so much
in the footsteps of Juan Marichal and Pedro Martinez.
throughout the year doesn’t take its toll on the players.
Throughout the 2014 NRL season, a grand total of
I would love to see it go back to strictly weekends, but let’s
37 players took the field for the Cronulla-Sutherland
be honest – it’s more likely that rugby will be on TV 7 nights
Sharks. For those of you who don’t know team sizes
a week before that happens. Because it’s New Zealand.
for league, the weekly team consists of 17 players: 13 starters and 4 on the interchange bench. •
New Zealand pitcher John Holdzkom made his MLB debut for the Pittsburgh Pirates this month against the St. Louis Cardinals, where he faced 3 batters and racked up 3 strikeouts.
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RIDICULIST
VOX POPS
Top times Nexus magazine got in trouble.
Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.
1 Missing Pages It was no surprise when Nexus first started if a page would be left blank with a small notice that said ‘we will not be printing this’. Anything the printers didn’t like could go. Incidentally this also happened in the late 00’s.
2
Tadhg, Animal science and psych. Are you going to vote? What party are you voting for? Yeah. I'll probably vote for green - I agree with what they support. I study animal behaviour so I'm a big fan of animal welfare. What are your plans this summer? Probably the South Island and do white water rafting with my girlfriend and best mate like last year. Possibly get a job. Favourite alcoholic beverage? Bulmers cider. Much more crisp Irish apple cider.
David, Statistics. Are you going to vote? What party are you voting for? Not sure between
Judge A Book By Its Cover
Greens or United Future. Pretty much still in the process of elimination.
Covers of Nexus have always caused some issues.
What are your plans this summer? Hopefully going to go for a summer
Highlights: university complaints over cover text that
scholarship at the university. Favourite alcoholic beverage? Probably
read “Sam says sluts a lot” and an issue depicted
Heineken.
a shirtless man throwing up in a uni rubbish bin because “people wear shirts on this campus”. Elaine, Law and French.
3 International Edition In 2009 Nexus ran an article suggesting that a Saudi Prince had bought the University of Waikato. This is known as the ‘international incident’ of the Nexus
Are you going to vote? What party are you voting for? Yes, Labour. I just don't like the nastiness that is coming out of the current government. What are your plans this summer? Yeah I'm going to help out in Melbourne with their Labour state election. That's the most exciting thing, the rest of summer I'll be sleeping. Favourite alcoholic beverage? Gin & tonic.
Complaints League.
4 Even Christians Don’t Like Us… Once we inferred that students should celebrate Easter the way Jesus did- by getting nailed on a Friday.
Chelsea, History. Are you going to vote? What party are you voting for? Yes, Labour. I like their tertiary education policy and the direction they're heading in. What are your plans this summer? Summer school. :( Favourite alcoholic beverage? Cheap red wine.
The two page re-imagination of the Crucifixion of Christ as a lads weekend that went horribly wrong probably didn’t help. Alicia, Tourism management.
5 This One Never Should Have Happened A complaint regarding jokes Nexus made referring to
Are you going to vote? What party are you voting for? I want to, I should, but no idea who to vote for. What are your plans this summer? I'm supposed to be going to oz but will probably stay here. Favourite alcoholic beverage? Alizé.
sex with infants, incest and abortion was upheld in 2009, because Dead Baby jokes are stupid.
6 Freedom Of Speech There was this one time in 2007 where a whole issue of Nexus was stolen. While first suspected to be a stupid StudVil prank, it later transpired the theft was politically motivated- because that issue contained allegations about inappropriate behaviour of board members. Some people don’t like freedom of speech.
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Caitlyn, Science. Are you going to vote? What party are you voting for? Not sure who I'm voting for - still wanna do more research... but I'm definitely voting. What are your plans this summer? I'm doing a combo of working and travelling. Going to head to the South Island. Favourite alcoholic beverage? At this point in time, gin.
nexus magazine
Under the Skin
Lucy
FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON
FILM REVIEW BY GEMMA
Fans of Scarlett Johansson who approach this film with prurient
Scarlett Johansson is Lucy – a thrill seeking college student who
expectations may well be disappointed. It's not that she doesn't get
accidentally becomes caught in a horrendous drug and human traf-
her kit off like never before, but more the context of the disrobing.
ficking scenario where her brain becomes altered by a synthetic drug
Under the Skin is science fiction but at the abstract, 2001: A Space
ingested during her captivity. Lucy understands that she has less than
Odyssey end of the genre. Guardians of the Galaxy it ain't.
48 hours to live, and as she begins to increase her cerebral capacity
Despite some surface parallels, Under the Skin isn't Species, either.
to 100%, she reaches out to Professor Norman, neuroscientist and
Scarlett plays an alien who takes the form of a beautiful woman. The
professor (played by Morgan Freeman), who encourages her to share
disguise is chosen for a particular reason. Her mission - obliquely
the extraordinary experience with all. However, time is limited as she
conveyed - is to lure the unattached and the amorously inclined. She
is subject to hot pursuit.
has a limited lifespan, able to complete her seductions whilst just
I am biased, in that I love Scarlett Johansson, and all that encourages
pretending to be of this planet. When she starts feeling empathy
deep thinking. So for me, this movie was absolutely brilliant. I did
for her victims - and becoming curious about the species itself - her
some research on the viability of the ‘sciency’ ideas proposed in the
usefulness is at an end.
movie – and some of it may be misleading. However this does not
Bleak Scottish beaches and landscapes and dingy interiors make for
discount the way the movie provokes thinking. It without a doubt
an atmospheric backdrop. Indeed, both the femme fatale nature of
generates discussion and raises many questions. Our conversation
the lead character and claustrophobic, urban settings suggest film
on the way home pivoted around questions like:
noir as much as sci-fi. Portions of the movie were shot with hidden “But are we really driving?” cameras, lending a high degree of verisimilitude to the fantastic, at “But does my hand really look this?” times allegorical, narrative. Remarkably, given Johansson is required
The film was very well done, and was definitely not too ‘science-
to do a minimum of emoting and other characters have little screen
fictiony’ for the average film lover. Great acting and a fantastic plot
time, Under the Skin packs quite a punch. Like the best science fiction
that kept you engaged and thinking throughout the entire movie. I
it poses questions about what it means to be homo sapiens, examin- found myself gripping the chair in angst and my mind exploding over ing the human condition from the outside in.
and over again. Go check it out if you haven’t already.
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nexus magazine
Ghosts
Boy Rock
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
Five-piece post-hardcore band, Barracks might sound weary. They
Wellington trio, Big Friendlies are giving their EP, Boy Rock, away for
have to schlep in from Tauranga, Rotorua and Hamilton in order to get
free download (or you can throw them some koha should you have
together for gigs and practices, but they must’ve rested up signifi- the means and maybe that’d be nice. Friendly even). What these lads cantly before recording their debut full-lengther, Ghosts. They blast
may lack in mega-budget production they make up for in odd, off beat
through these 13 tracks with speed, ferocity and finesse. The techni-
lyrics, high energy and accessible, enjoyable pop songs.
cal skills of these individuals backed by the brutality of vocalist Kier Scott are an exceptional combination of intricacy and power.
Sitting amongst the mundanely detailed pop from the likes of local indie heroes, The Eversons or Anthony Tonnon and the nostalgic pop-
Opener Asleep, is a tell-tale sign of what to expect from this band.
rock of the 90s, Big Friendlies manage to grab that sound and then
Interesting rhythms lead the song in before Scott’s screaming vocals
take all the sheen off of it. It’s lo-fi in both final product and in lyrical
rip through the track. The song itself is almost broken in half by the
content. Songs are about getting jobs and teacher report cards with
intensity of the playing as it fades into a muted intermission before
lines like “I really need to apply myself/so now I’m applying for finan-
launching off again. The album swings through differing tempos, ideas
cial help”. With prickly guitars and swishing drums, this might be what
and tones. With standout tracks like, We are Ghosts, those changes
Pavement might sound like on E or in a tin(n)y shed.
are executed nimbly allowing for welcome surprises.
There is so much cheese spilling out of this band it’s like an over-
The songs continue to build as the album rollicks along. The drum- filled toastie. Ghost to Coast suggests the boys were tapping into ming and bass work on all these songs, but particularly on Scatter and
some real emotions for a second, but very quickly, the line “cry my
later track Paper Eyes and add just as many layers of groove as they
ghost tears” is yelped with a twee smirk. There’s more than humor-
do exclamation marks to the charging guitars. This band could benefit
ous lyrics and fuzzy guitar here though, there are solid pop hooks, a
from exploring some of their softer and quieter moments though. This
grooving rhythm and enough to return to these few songs rather than
is partly because they smash the heavy parts out like veterans and
giggle and be on your way. It’ll be worth keeping an eye out for these
partly because there is still so much scope in those moments to add
three in the future.
further depth to their already polished sound.
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nexus magazine
Spark
Shoot Many Robots
BOOK REVIEW BY RENEE BOYER-WILLISSON
GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT
Protagonist Evie has altered DNA, the result of tampering by a gov- The aim is stated right in the name: Shoot Many Robots. If you’re ernment agency, Affinity, a couple of generations ago. There are three
not shooting many robots then you’re doing something wrong. This
types of DNA mutations: Sparks (carriers), Strays (killers), and Shields
2D side scroller is filled with plenty of action. You play as Walter P.
(defenders, designed to protect their Spark from the Stray). Evie’s first
Lugnut, and if you play a multiplayer game, you ALL play as Walter P.
Spark is her best friend, Kitty. But Shields almost never manage to
Lugnut – just wearing different coloured vests. In a post-apocalyptic
save their first Spark.
world where robots run riot, you must battle through hordes of metal
I found it interesting that Craw, a New Zealand author, decided to set her debut novel in the USA, when really the location doesn’t
enemies, looking for guns, ammo and beer. Especially beer (to restore lost health).
seem to be all that important. I wonder whether this was to appeal
If you’re lucky enough the robots will drop crates (plus the ‘nuts’
to a potentially wider audience, or whether the next two books in this
they drop for you to use as currency) that might contain new guns or
intended trilogy will make the choice of location more apparent. It
equipment. These can upgrade your character (with additional ammo,
certainly didn’t detract from the book, but had I not known this was a
extra beers and more), meaning that you can customize to your
New Zealand writer, I would never have suspected it from the writing.
heart’s content. At your disposal you have your guns (both a weaker
Evie is a great protagonist – like the Hunger Games’ Katniss
infinite ammo gun and a stronger gun with limited ammo), melee
Everdeen she is a strong female character, but with flaws and inse-
and a power slide, so you’re not restricted in offensive capability.
curities that make her human and relatable. The book was compelling,
Especially if you manage to score enough kills to unlock a combo, for
I read it quickly, and the twists and turns made sense without being
more offensive output, and more ‘nuts’ to collect (with your nutsack,
predictable.
I should mention).
The details about Affinity and Optimal were a bit long and overly
Levels are divided into short episodes, and the quicker and more
complex, and there were way too many acronyms, but the plot wasn’t
efficiently you complete them, the more levels will be unlocked.
hard to follow even with only a skim read of Miriam’s explanations.
Personally, the only issue I have is that the harder levels need you to
I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the series.
have found the more powerful weapons, and with the random crate
First appeared on booksellers.co.nz.
drops, I’ve not managed to do so just yet…
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nexus magazine
HØNEST MATT MEETS CLINT ROBERTS Honest Matt Matt Hicks
Matt Hicks has a chat to his old mate Clint Roberts from The Edge afternoon
TV or not too much? It has morphed, yeah. It’s largely the same, but now
show.
we always look at what the visual element of what we are doing could be,
First things first- what do you think of Hamilton? Being from Rotorua,
whereas before we just worried about the audio. That, and Sharyn needs
Hamilton was always the “Big Smoke” to me. We’d come up for picnic
prior warning so she can wear makeup and not-trackpants that day. How
lunches at the Hamilton Gardens (long before we knew it was teeming with
folks consume media is changing all the time. What do you see radio
magic mushrooms) and feed the ducks. It’s the spiritual home of my beloved
looking like in, say, 10 years time? Radio is a funny thing that has survived
Chiefs and more recently it’s the place my work sends me to host rowdy
many an entertainment revolution. I think it’s unique ability to react instantly
ass parties at the Outback. The Edge is a team that works hard and plays
to events and interact with people on such a personal level means it will be
hard. What’s been some of your finest rock’n’roll moments during your
around for a while yet. Perhaps the way we access it may change and the
time at the Edge? My stand out moment was nearly getting punched in the
way advertising is integrated will be streamlined but I think it has a while to
head by Dizzee Rascal during a backstage Big Day Out interview in 2009.
go yet. You are a native of Rotorua. What are some must do activities
He didn’t realise Auckland wasn’t in Australia and therefore didn’t even know
we should get into when we visit Roto-vegas? One of the only remaining
what country he was in. I brought it up, things got heated, real fast. The
all-you-can-eat Pizza Huts left in New Zealand #jellycubes. You and I were
Edge has recently launched Edge TV. How is it being received by the
once flatmates. What was the best thing about living with me/ your
masses so far? I think well? It’s hard to fault free music television, it gives
fondest memory from our time together? We lived together? Just kidding.
you something to watch at the kebab shop while you’re waiting for yours to
Share our recipe for the cocktail “Wham Bam” sometime.
toast. Although if they don’t stop playing the clip of me finding out “How It Feels” to pee on an electric fence soon, I will lay the BSA complaint myself. Has your show prep changed dramatically since the launch of Edge
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More at sounzgood.co.nz
Spoiler alert: nothing is ever really fixed; it’s entirely up to you how your future unfolds. We merely supply the gentle nudge that sets everything off. Unless you’re into some kind of religious predeterminism and are satisfied being a pawn in someone else’s game – but who are we to judge?
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Feelin’ a tad blue? Big bad meanies got you down? This week the great cosmos wants to remind you that not everything is about you. Nobody cares, deal with your life - at Nexus we tell it how it is. For delicate flowers wanting the extra sugar coating; www.tonyrobbins.com
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but on most occasions it’s just a tad creepy. Your copycat antics are likely wasted because they probably haven’t even noticed you. Actually, in that case… If they haven’t noticed then creep on, good sir. Just don’t do anything illegal.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You can ring her until you’re slapped with a restraining order, but there’s no way to know for sure how things could have been. Stop daydreaming about a non-existent future. It’s also a good idea to minimise drives past her house after 8pm. And by minimise we mean “just don’t.”
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
HOROSCOPES
I’m afraid it’s true what you’ve heard; Mars and Jupiter are colluding against you. It’s hopeless, give up now. Batten down the hatches. Stock up on condensed milk. Then think about finding a new friendship group that doesn’t include people named after planets. It’s weird.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
This week you will find out that your old team leader had been stealing their ideas from a rival team. You will need to be innovative yourself and devise a creative new plan to beat the Clovers at Nationals. Oh wait, sorry, that’s the plot of a Kirsten Dunst movie.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Worried about where you’ll end up after graduation? Job-hunting is for losers with no self-confidence. Your time is better spent on other areas of life, like socialising, beer drinking, and building an online poker empire. The employers can fucking come to you.
This week a planet will swing dangerously close to Earth before returning to it’s usual orbit. At least that’s what we’ve been told… gather your loved ones close and prepare for your last week on this planet. Wait, hang on. That might just be the plot of another Kirsten Dunst movie. As you were.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You might be feeling confused at the moment, what with all of the political pre-election drama going down. Don’t worry, if there is anything to take away from this convoluted time it’s that no, we can’t just scooch the whales over, and politicians should be more like Jesus #BELLAHENRY4PM
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
It’s an impossible feat to focus at 5pm when you haven’t had a coffee all day. Horoscopes gives you permission to buy an espresso from Momento without any passing of judgement. But only an espresso. If you spring for a frappe we know you’re just wasting our time.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Now is not the time to give up. It may feel like it, but that's where we generally know better than you. You’re so close, can’t you smell the victory? If Hilary Duff can make music again, you can survive a 2-hour lecture where they read from the slides.
This week is all about balance. Life is a bit of a circus, a juggling act, and a spot of lion taming. Just like a tightrope walker on the wire, you’re going to have to concentrate to keep from falling hundreds of feet to your death. FOCUS.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
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Hot Beats BEATS BY J
Bobby Shmurda / Bobby Shmurda
Hot N*gga
Wiz Khalifa / Blacc Hollywood
Ass Drop
Adrian Marcel / Sage the Gemini / 2AM
2AM
Wiz Khalifa / Ty Dolla $ign / Snoop Dogg
You And Your Friends
Nicki Minaj / Anaconda
Anaconda
Katy Perry / Riff-Raff / This is How We Do This is How We Do
Riff Raff / Dolce & Gabbana Dolce & Gabbana
Schoolboy Q / BJ The Chicago Kid / Oxymoron Studio
Lil Jon / Tyga / Bend Ova Bend Ova
Jeremih / YG / Don't Tell 'Em Don't Tell 'Em
Lil Wayne / Drake / Don't Tell 'Em Believe Me
Rich Gang / Young Thug / Rich Homie Quan
Lifestyle
Rick Ross / Jay Z / Mastermind
The Devil Is A Lie
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AUTEUR PRESENTS ROBIN WILLIAMS Auteur Dr Richard Swainson
By the time you read this most of you will be heartily sick of tributes
Blackly humorous yet moving as well. The satirical treatment of the women's
to Robin Williams. Does the world really need another tragic lament for
movement is particularly strong.
the comic genius who fell on his own sword? I felt Williams' loss as much
3. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988). Though he only features
as the next punter - probably more so given that I'm old enough to have
in a glorified cameo as the sometime disembodied king of the moon, Terry
grown up watching Mork & Mindy - but in death as in life the star's talent
Gilliam's masterpiece is perhaps the only adult film in which Williams'
is misunderstood. As good as his performance is in Good Will Hunting, the
stream-of-consciousness comedic improvisations come close to being suc-
film itself is minor. As mildly amusing as Mrs Doubtfire might be to young
cessfully harnessed.
children and the middle brow, it ain't a patch on Williams' stand-up routines.
4. Awakenings (1990). This movie has plenty of detractors, not least those
Good Morning, Vietnam is sentimental rubbish, downright embarrassing
who claim that Oliver Sacks' nonfiction book was betrayed. Robert De Niro
when compared to other films of the era which at least attempted some
has the showier part, playing a man who gets to live again briefly after years
honesty about the war. Dead Poets Society is the worst of the lot: trite,
spent in a vegetative state, yet Williams' underplaying as Sacks is just as
shallow and pathetic.
effective.
So, what's left? The following list doesn't pretend to be comprehensive.
5. Deconstructing Harry (1997). Another cameo role, this time in a surpris-
Here are a few comments about Robin Williams on screen in movies that
ingly nasty Woody Allen film. Playing a man who is literally "out of focus",
have not been as celebrated as they might since his death. 1. Popeye (1980). It was bizarre decision to let art house iconoclast Robert Altman turn the comic strip into a live action feature, still more so with the
6. World's Greatest Dad (2009). Williams is just wonderful as a small town
casting of Williams in his first lead. Unusual, to say the least, but full of quirky
high school teacher burdened by an obnoxious, pornography-obsessed teen-
humour and mercifully free of the sentimentality that would later blight the
age son. Despite being written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwaite, the
actor's work. 2. The World According to Garp (1982). This is Williams' best ever part, the title role in a tough and faithful adaptation of John Irving's seriocomic novel.
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Williams brings his own comic sensibility to Allen's universe, transcending the one-note joke. At the time it was the funniest he'd been in years.
nexusmag.co.nz
most painfully broad of 1980s comedians, the satire is relatively subtle and Williams is discipline itself, resisting any urge to go over the top. Almost good enough to overcome a flawed ending.
nexus magazine
HOLIER THAN THOU Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf
The world is a tragic place. It’s also a silly place and it doesn’t get sillier than
contemporary sculptors in New Zealand. He was chosen to exhibit at the
when it comes to questions of piety and the display of inflamed righteous-
Venice Biennially which indicates the measure of the man and the respect
ness when linked to political correctness. Certain people want to, but more
he carries in the world of art. So well regarded is this Maori artist, he was
importantly feel a pressing need, to show off their credentials in this area.
commissioned to create a work for the Australians. His forte is indigenous
What it does, of course is to publically and overtly display their virtue and
issues in a post-colonial world. No surprises there.
godliness to the rest of us all and the great god of cultural judgment sitting
But surprises did follow when his piece, depicting an Elephant turned on its
up there or out there, even down here, the upshot of which is to receive
head by a small Australian marsupial (symbolic of the natives outwitting the
from the collective and communal consciousness the rewards of approba-
colonists) was attacked by Aboriginal activists. Apparently the work wasn’t
tion. Well done thou good and faithful servant. You have shone the light into
indigenous enough! And even where it was indigenous (the inclusion of
darkness. Go thou and receive the palaces prepared for you in the glorious
the sacred Aussie marsupial) it was “a brazen piece of cultural poaching.”
kingdom hereafter.
Damned if you do or damned if you don’t.
Now I’m a sensitive little soldier, and affirmative action and all that is fine and waving the flag, but at a certain point it can veer out of control and just become a bit silly. More than silly. The drive for brownie points can take certain people into strange and even disturbing locations. Case in point. You will have all heard, I hope, unless you are living under a rock, that a philanthropic group called Mesh, have commissioned a won-
It gets even sillier. A Maori–led symposium on the matter sided with those across the ditch. Not to be outdone, Te Papa’s contemporary Maori culture curator, Puawai Cairns, had a go at New Zealand fashion designer, Trelise Cooper, for using a Native American Indian headdress as a prop in her recent show, describing it as “pillaging our native American Whanaunga’s tapu war bonnet.”
derful public sculpture for the city to celebrate the 150 years anniversary.
I wonder what she might say about the work of Liam Te Nahu whose work
It’s very beautiful and very expensive but paid for by the generosity of a
is currently showing on campus (Calder and Lawson Gallery) that sees the
group of Hamilton and ex Hamiltonian patrons. They all deserve our princely
Maori artist wearing a similar headdress and playing with the iconography of
applause. The artist whose work it is, Michael Parekowhai, is one of the top
it. I won’t be holding my breath.
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A Study in Cleanliness with Nicky Hager RACHAEL ELLIOTT
Over 750 students, staff and members of the community packed two lecture theatres last week to hear Nicky discuss Dirty Politics, all of whom laughed when he joked it was to be followed by a book burning. Rachael caught up with the author before his lecture to find out how we can rid New Zealand politics of its dirty stench. Who is the dirtiest scumbag you researched for Dirty Politics? The obvious anti-hero is Cameron Slater.
for politicians- they can lie if they want to. The only sanction on that is that they’re caught out.
But I think it’s actually a story about him being used
Were there things that you wanted to expose and
by other people. (And he was used by lots of differ-
couldn’t? There were things I would have liked to
ent people.) I wouldn’t give any of them the crown,
expose more but I could only go as far as my informa-
but what you see is Farrar and Slater doing other
tion would take me. Like I have my suspicions, I had
people’s work and a whole lot of people willing to
strong suspicions about some things that I couldn’t
have it happen.
prove. There were other things where I had piles of
“...IF YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH DOING DIRTY THINGS AND NO ONE EVER KNOWS THEN YOU KEEP DOING IT BECAUSE YOU GET THE ADVANTAGE WITHOUT THE BACKLASH.”
What do you think of the inquiries that have started
information that various people would find very inter-
due to your work? I don’t think they’re a bad thing but
esting but it didn’t meet the standard. It was private
they’re not particularly getting to the heart of what
information that just shouldn’t have been out there.
the book is about. Where the government initiated
How can we make politicians more accountable
them I think they are mainly diversionary. But they’re
to the sorts of things highlighted in Dirty Politics?
not worthless. It wasn’t reasonable to expect that
Obviously transparency is part of it- because if you
everything would be investigated properly before the
can get away with doing dirty things and no one ever
election but I certainly hope there will be lots of stuff
knows then you keep doing it because you get the
that continues to happen after it. How do we fix it then? I don’t think any of this this
advantage without the backlash. This is why exposing it is so important- but it shouldn’t have to be dramatic
will be solved by inquiries, I think this will be solved by
leaking of emails etc, it should be more open, through
public understanding. There are no rules or regulations
the Official Information Act and so on. The main thing
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my book is about and the thing that had me concerned
obviously the Prime Minister.
in the first place is about freedom of speech. And that’s
Who can we trust? Can we trust anyone? This is the
not about protecting what people can say, it’s about the
vital part of this. The nasty reply to the kind of thing
deliberate tactics to stop people talking. I think this is
I’ve written is to say “everyone does it, all politicians
mainly a story about concerted efforts to squash other
are stuffed, politics is a dirty game, democracy is a
people’s freedom of speech for political advantage.
waste of time, don’t even bother, go to sleep, turn up
What is your favourite part of the book? The part that
your music, don’t be involved, don’t vote and leave
I like most about this kind of writing and research is
those bastards to it”.That’s just not true. Not everyone
where there are things which aren’t new and every-
does it. Most politicians in parliament are hardwork-
one’s already seen them but no one understands what
ing, normal people. Most parties don’t do dirty tricks
went on. I love when it’s possible to reinterpret or pull
at all and even in the National Party (and I was writing
the veil off things which people thought they under-
about their dirty tricks) there will be people who will
stood, which they had opinions on, which they were
be shocked- at what the Auckland National Party gets
involved in, and they discover that there was manipula-
up to for example.
tion at work.
It’s actually an anti-democratic thing to suggest that
Did you hear about the alleged burning of 202 copies
politics are all over the place. The reason for exposing
of your book by WSU President Aaron Letcher? I heard
things like this is that people get to think about it and
the story on the news about Young Nats up here doing
decide they don’t want to do it that way. It will happen
that, but I don’t think it happened. Well, I certainly don’t
less then, hopefully.
“IT’S ACTUALLY AN ANTI-DEMOCRATIC THING TO SUGGEST THAT POLITICS IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. THE REASON FOR EXPOSING THINGS LIKE THIS IS THAT PEOPLE GET TO THINK ABOUT IT AND DECIDE THEY DON’T WANT TO DO IT THAT WAY.”
think 200 books were burned. I think it was perhaps a rumour that got out of hand. I think the only rational explanation for them trying to prevent people reading it is that they hadn’t read the
there are people who are very happy to see young people not engaged in politics.
book- because the first people who should be annoyed
Don’t view cynicism as a kind of adult wisdom, know
about what I wrote about is the people involved with
that it’s actually buying into a non-participation, don’t
the National Party.
care kind of narrative which suits certain interests who
I feel sorry for Young Nats actually. In all sorts of ways
are happy to promote it. It’s like being a sucker to the
they are cannon fodder. They’re used in all kinds of tac-
tobacco industry: being a sucker to political managers
tics that no one else even knows about. And they’re
who want people not to vote because they know those
the ones who are compromising themselves by being
votes aren’t very helpful to them.
part of orchestrated attacks on people and things. I just think they’re getting used. If you could see anyone involved in this go for a row for their behaviour, who would it be? It’s absolutely clear who is most responsible. You can’t be the leader of the party and the leader of the country and the leader of the office and then think that it’s not okay to take responsibility when you get caught out. It’s
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Advice for students? Understand politicial participation. Understand the pressures against it, understand
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nexus magazine
Rustling up Votes RACHAEL ELLIOTT
Russell Norman knows that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, chowing down on one while we chat about transport, research and loving New Zealand. What do you think students need to know before
funding for those without cutting humanities. The
the election this year? Ideally they’d have a good
current government increased STEM by cutting human-
idea of the policies of different parties but most of all
ities numbers and we think that’s short-sighted too. A
they need to know where to vote and how to vote
successful economy needs STEM students but it also
because turnout amongst younger people is really low.
needs all the humanities students as well. The role of
It’s important to realise that it’s not early voting, it’s
universities isn’t just about producing people who go
just a two and half week period, so don’t leave it until
into business it’s also about the broader role of con-
the last day to vote (which is September 20th). You can
science and moral education for society more generally.
vote that whole time and I think it’s really important to
We’re also significantly increasing the research and
get students voting at a higher rate than they are now.
development spending so that will have spill -over
Tell us about the recently released Green Card policy?
effects into universities. We think that this is critical
The basic idea is to use the underutilised capacity of
to our future and it’s also about saying to students that
“WE’RE GOING TO RETURN POST GRAD STUDENT ALLOWANCES BECAUSE I THINK IT WAS INCREDIBLY SHORT-SIGHTED TO REMOVE THEM...”
the public transport network, give it to students for
we’re going to build a much more diversified economy.
free to take some of the pressure off both the roads
So stay in NZ, contribute your skills here because with
and student budgets. Student transport spending var-
the Greens in government it’s going to be a much more
ies across the country but is anywhere around $40 a
diversified economy than simple commodities.
week on transport- which is huge. You guys won’t be
How are you going to create jobs? Essentially it’s
able to use it for every trip off-peak but there is a lot of
about investing in innovation. The current government
flexibility so that a lot of the trips can be made off peak
strategy is about simple commodities like milk powder,
and save you some money.
on oil isn’t working out) whereas we’re saying actually
to return post grad student allowances because I
if we want to have well paid jobs we need to use our
think it was incredibly short-sighted to remove them
brains. That means investing in innovation: NZ has very
since we’re trying to encourage people to get a proper
low rates of investment in Research and Development
education.
compared with other OECD countries so it’s unsur-
We’ll increase supply of STEM subjects and
22
logs and, to some degree, oil, (though their gamble
What else are you going to do for us? We’re going
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prising that we’re going backwards. The government
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23
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needs to lead that and invest heavily in Research and
(which actually slows down people’s access to abor-
Development (but bring the private sector along as
tion). It means people are having abortions later than
well) so that’s one of our key drivers.
they would be because of a stupid law. So if we just
Who would you be looking at for coalition partners?
make the law a bit more honest, then people who are
The Greens are a really democratic party which means,
going to have abortions are going to have them earlier
for example, I face re-election every year as co-leader.
rather than later, which I thought would have been a
As well as that our ‘political positioning’ is decided by
good thing for all concerned.
our AGM before an election each three years. At the last AGM we co-opted an agreement that said it was
Bestow upon us the sage wisdom of Russell Norman Follow your passions.
highly unlikely that we could do a confidence and sup-
Advice for students? Stay informed especially as
ply coalition with National. We’re much more open to
the mainstream media is demonstrating that it is not
doing it with Labour but it has to be based on real
exactly an impartial unbiased source. I love the rise
policy gains. We’re not just going to sign up to any deal-
of social media and blogs because you kind of create
it’s going to depend on making good Green change.
space where people can talk to each other without
The Greens pride themselves on a clean campaign.
having to go through the mainstream media. So I’m
Do you want to make any sort of comment on that? We
totally obsessed with twitter, I’m probably one of the
stay out of ‘the circus’ as much as we can. But it’s fair
most active politicians on twitter because I find it really
to say that we don’t think the mudslinging between the
stimulating and interesting. Obviously some people
National party and the Internet-Mana party in particular
you just have to mute or whatever because they’re
“...WE NEED A SMART GREEN ECONOMY, WE NEED THRIVING KIDS AND WE NEED CLEAN RIVERS AND BEACHES. THAT’S THE ARCHITECTURE OF OUR MESSAGE...”
is very helpful for democracy at all. We think it makes
just a pain in the arse but lots of people ask good ques-
people more cynical. The Hager book showed the other
tions too. If you want to get into that it’s a great place
side of John Key and the other side of the National
to see what’s going on. But really at the end of the day
party and how they operate- on the one hand they’re
go and read the party’s policies. We’ve just launched
all friendly and smiley but on the other hand they’re
our new website for the election in three priority areas
running these dirty operations and smear campaigns
and hopefully you’ll be inspired because we want NZ to
against people. For us, in this campaign we’re really focused on a positive message around loving NZ and underneath that we’re saying we need a smart green economy, we need thriving kids and we need clean rivers and beaches. That’s the architecture of our message in terms of what a vote for the Greens means. Your abortion bill has raised some eyebrows… Essentially what it does is take the current practice and give it lawful basis. Instead of having this pretence of having it all in the crimes bill and having to go through all these hoops we’ve just said look, pre 20 weeks, let’s just basically make the current practice up front, honest and lawful instead of this pretence
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be a fantastic place, we want people to stay here and contribute their skills and knowledge. At the end of the day your party vote is the critical vote.
nexus magazine
S E I ER
S L A C I T I L PO o t a k i a W / i k a r e Hau t a b e d s e t a d i d can M P 1 , p e H T s 7 1 d e e w r t a e h T e c a l P + E V w A E L Ne L L I W 5 , R TE N E ILL W +5
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Why Should We Vote? TONY STEVENS
Everyone knows that young voter turnout is spectacularly low. Nexus thinks you should all stand up and be counted - and not just because more people didn't vote last time than people who voted for National. Tony tells us his top 20 reasons to get to the polling booth this week. I can think of about fifty reasons to vote off the
TV coverage – and let Nexus publish the embarrassing
top of my head but half of them would expose
photos.
my political leanings and that would be naughty.
3: There are certain groups who don’t want you to
(Though if you’re good at reading between the lines
vote. There are those who either fear the power of your
you will discover them by the end of this article
favourite blue bic pen that has been gnawed half to
anyway.) That leaves another twenty supposedly unbiased reasons to commandeer the polling booth for roughly 186 seconds of your life. 1: It’s physically easy to do. You could either a) spend an extra five minutes scrolling your Facebook newsfeed and reading about how your mate Candice got
death from hours of monotonous lectures, and/or don’t think the student voice is worth a damn. If you’ve been following the Dirty Politics scandal you’ll know that subliminally encouraging non-voting is a strategy used by some politicians – which is poor form if you ask me. This attitude is shared by the electoral commission,
“...THERE IS A BOOTH ON CAMPUS, FROM 15TH TO 19TH SEPTEMBER BETWEEN 10AM AND 4PM. ALL WEEK.”
trapped on an escalator when the power went out...
who only acquiesced to having a booth on campus after
or b) go to the old Station Cafe next to Management
being lobbied relentlessly by the Tertiary Education
School and vote for your preferred party and MP
Union and other individuals who want to preserve your
candidate.
democratic rights. Good on them for finally seeing
That’s right, there is a booth on campus, from 15th
sense though.
to 19th September between 10am and 4pm. All week.
4: Voting is your right and don’t let anyone suggest it
2: Voting doesn’t have to be a chore. Why not do what
won’t make a difference. Guess what? Your vote carries
students do best and turn it into a party? Give it a fes-
just as much influence as John Key’s, Richie McCaw’s,
tive vibe, organise a short hikoi to the polls, snort a
and even...Guy Williams’.
shot of tequila every time Kim Dotcom is compared to an emperor penguin in a turtleneck sweater, lose an item of clothing whenever Jacinda Ardern appears on
5: One million eligible voters didn’t turn out at the last election. Would that many votes make a difference? 6: We are a generation that for the most part cares
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about Climate Change. Some politicians are making
full of awesome little firsts like that so let’s honour
noises about it, others are claiming the science is a
that legacy of getting shit done and get out and vote.
bunch of “mumbo jumbo.” You be the judge, jury, and
FYI- Women’s Suffrage Day, a celebration of this
if necessary, executioner (figuratively speaking). 7: If all the eligible voters under the age of 35 voted in this election we would control who ends up running the show.
achievement, is September 19 which just so happens to be the day before the election. 13: Because there will be a decision made by the/a government that is going to ruffle your feathers. We all
8: Would you like the power to vote for a new boss?
care about something whether it’s mining in National
Especially after that time he blamed you for serving
Parks, reducing national debt, or free medical care for
fries to a gluten-intolerant customer who ordered
kids. For me it’s fair rights for workers – that 90 day trial
vege chips when you didn’t even take the order? Sure
period just grinds my gears.
you would. Unfortunately we can’t vote for who our
14: We need jobs. There are bugger-all available and
employer is but we can vote for who is elected boss
often we’re fighting each other to get one. Gone are
of New Zealand.
the days when a uni degree basically guaranteed you
9: The decisions made by the current government
employment.
and the new government come September 20 will
15: If you vote and an ‘older’ person you know
affect us far more than our parents. We will have to live
doesn’t then you can give them shit forever. Like my
with the consequences of said decisions longer than
Uncle Mike who tends to stay at home and collect pet
anyone else. If you don’t vote you’re basically agreeing
doves...
“IF ALL THE ELIGIBLE VOTERS UNDER THE AGE OF 35 VOTED IN THIS ELECTION WE WOULD CONTROL WHO ENDS UP RUNNING THE SHOW.”
to let your folks decide what’s best for you... again. Put your huggies on because you’re a big kid now. 10: The average age of an MP is 52. Meaning that
Parliament being deprived of his chiselled good looks.”
lot of people in power spent nearly 40 years without
Someone actually said this to me. Take this guy’s vote -
the internet. I know... there once was a time when we
he obviously wasn’t going to employ it usefully anyway.
couldn’t ask Uncle Google if rhinos were just obese
17: New Zealand currently has the second worst paid
unicorns, crazy huh? So 52... Does that sound repre-
parental leave entitlements in the OECD. The worst?
sentative to you? There are plenty of good young(ish)
America, where there is no paid entitlement. Look up
candidates running so why not consider them instead
26 for babies.
of the Grey Power conglomerate.
18: I’m not a stoner but a cheeky smoke behind C
11: Waikato University students collectively have
block isn’t going to hurt anyone. The criminalisation of
a 1 billion dollar student loan. The cost of education
cannabis consumption is a daft and prehistoric policy
is just astronomical and it annoys the fuck out of me
better left to the annals of history – your vote can con-
because my folks got to ‘study’ for free and smoke
tribute to change, and munchies.
doobie snacks in between lectures. The same folk who
19: Vote for New Zealand. Shit, we live here so we
received their education for free are now charging us
might as well at least try to make it as sweet as we
out the arse for ours. So I’d encourage you to probe
possibly can right?
politicians about their policies concerning tertiary study.
20: You can vote now. Early voting opened on
12: Kiwi ladies were the first to win the right to vote
September 3 and there are booths all over the Tron.
in Western society way back in 1893. Our history is
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16: “I’m not voting because I’m terrified Colin Craig won’t get elected and I just can’t bear the thought of
nexusmag.co.nz
It’s never been easier.
nexus magazine
We’re looking for a group of engaging, enthusiastic and proactive people to work as paid Student Ambassadors in 2015. Student Ambassadors represent the University of Waikato at many events around the country and speak with prospective students and their parents about everything Waikato has to offer. If you know your Faculty well, want to improve your presentation skills, enjoy working with people and want a flexible role that works around your study, being a Student Ambassador could be for you! Applications close Friday 26 September. unipr.waikato.ac.nz/student-ambassadors
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RECOVERY REMEDIES Carnage Jules Craft
University students go hard. We like to stay up well past the
having a decent snooze can help you keep your emotions
ember’s dead, drink on a Tuesday if only to celebrate the fact
under control. Heaps of the time when you’re feeling worn
that there is wine in the fridge, and we also place our social
out or like you just can’t hack it anymore it’s because you’re
priorities high above time management. However this does have
a fucktard who’s had about 3 hours of sleep in the last 48
consequences. Every now and then our youthful exuberance digs us
hours. Rest up bruvs.
into a massive hole of feeling like shit. I’m sure you understand what
•
Food: Good food I mean. Yes I understand we are on flat
I mean: When we’ve tried using Panadol so much that it no longer
budgets but a bag of carrots costs the same as a ten pack
helps with the hangover. The internet and power bill has just snuck
of mi goreng. Don’t get me wrong, smash fast food when
up on us and we’re regretting spending those precious few dollars on
you’re feeling on top of the world but if you find yourself in
the guy/girl we took home in the taxi only to watch them snore beside
the dark underworld of self-pity maybe carrots will help you
us all night without even a hint of foreplay. To top it all off you’ve
see a little better so you can get out of there. 5 plus a day my lovely lasses and lads.
just realised that 5,000 word essay that you had a week to write is due in two days and you are unsure how you’re going to manage
•
Exercise your body: Running, jumping, spinning, frog hopping,
such a feat when your head’s been stuck in a bucket for the last half
hula hoop, hop-scotch, crab walking to your lectures: just a
hour. Often in these situations it’s easy to fall into a bountiful pool of
few ways you can work your body. It’s really simple- exercis-
self-loathing, disgust, and hate. What you have to remember is that
ing releases natural endorphins, endorphins are like a natural
even though you feel like a hopeless mess who couldn’t even look
high. Yeow free drugs exercise.
their parents in the eye, things do get better. Life’s all about shred-
•
Exercise your mind: Write out all your thoughts on a piece
ding yourself into oblivion and then slowly putting the pieces back
of paper, read, do a puzzle, smash out a Sudoku. It just feels
together, coming back with a better tolerance for your own bullshit.
good to use your brain for something other than study or a
If you are currently feeling a little like this at the moment, never fear,
portable wank-bank. Treat your brain like a woman: with ten-
my remedies are here.
der love and care.
Ways to dig yourself out of that hole:
If none of this works then there’s an epic bench by the university
Find a spade
lake. I heard nature looks pretty cool from there. Go check it out for
•
Sleep: Honestly you would be surprised about how much
some serenity.
PHOTOGRAPH: CAM ROBINSON
•
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PHOTOGRAPH: ANDRE KONG
nexus magazine
BEWARE THE COMMITMENT PHOBE Aunty Slut
Dear Aunty Slut, I’ve been basically living with my partner for over a year now. Things are
never make a commitment to you. When you try and talk about things he’ll give you just enough to keep you hopeful- but he’ll never be truly in your
amazing, the sex is amazing- but he refuses to call me his girlfriend. I’ve told
relationship- he’ll always be looking for something better. Ironically, if you
him several times that if he doesn’t want to be with me, he shouldn’t be, but
do leave him, he won’t be able to let you go. You need to ask yourself if you
when we do break up he won’t leave me alone. Last time I said I was leav-
can be in this relationship on his terms and his terms only. Hint- that’s really
ing him he told me he loved me so I stayed. He’s a depressive and a heavy
fucking unhealthy.
drinker, and when he’s feeling down he just won’t stop and I’m worried he’ll
It sounds like he hides from his feelings with drink. Alcoholism is a self-
drink himself to death or get drunk and do something stupid if I leave. But
destructive behaviour and it’s common for drunks to work on a kind of cycle.
when it’s amazing- it’s so amazing. It’s all a mess- what should I do?
Things will be okay for a while, then something will trigger them. The drinking
Heartbroken & Exhausted
will increase, sleeping will decrease, and they start to burn everything good in their lives down. Ask yourself if you want to be picking up the pieces
Dear Heartbroken & Exhausted, Unfortunately love isn’t always enough to make a relationship work. You’ve got to have the three C’s: communication, compromise and… um… cunnilingus. (I’m pretty sure that’s the last one...) Red flag! He won’t call you his girlfriend. This guy likes to keep his options open. If you’re not his girlfriend then he doesn’t have to feel any obliga-
every 3 months or so, and ask yourself if you can handle being on the front lines of that crap for the rest of your life. Hint- that’s really fucking unhealthy. When things are amazing, you’re living his lie. He’s using you. He probably does love you, but it’s so warped that he’ll never let himself just BE with you- it’s too scary for him. You deserve better. You can have better. It will be awesome.
tion to you. I’m not saying this guy is, but quite often men in this situation
Dump this manipulating coward and find yourself a real man. Or- dump this
use the ambiguity they’ve created in their relationships so they don’t feel
manipulating coward, and don’t feel like you need a man to define you, be
guilty for lying, brushing you off or cheating. His justification is that you’re
successful, or be ‘whole’. Honey- you’re whole already, it’s him that’s been
kind of together, but not really, so he’s not beholden to you or required to
picking you apart. Love yourself before any other- and love yourself enough to
respect the fact that you’re a couple. It’s cowardly, douchey behaviour, and
cut this shit out of your life. Take care of YOU because you’re glorious, don’t
you deserve better.
take care of this ungrateful dickhead any longer.
Run. Get out now. This guy sounds like a classic relationship-phobic manipulator. He’ll string you along just enough to keep you in his bed- but he will
Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz
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HOW TO SAVE MONEY ON CAMPUS THIS SPRING Cash Hacks Alix Higby
The weather taking a turn for the better may have altered the
the house, you should stave off the hunger pangs until you can get
way you’re looking at life these days. I don’t blame you for feeling
home again. Alternatively, pack some lunch or snacks – if you’re one
less thrifty and a little splashier; a little sun in your face can make
of those weird breeds who are that organised in the morning.
you forget about your financial responsibilities. But before you throw
No street parking. It’s not worth it! If you’re going to be in and out
caution to the refreshing summer-is-coming breeze, remind yourself
in a few hours then sure, okay. If you’re going to be around for a while
that when 24 degree weather truly arrives, you’re going to want some
and gate 1 and 10 are infested with other desperate solo drivers, then
dough to truly splash out with.
try a side street. Coming back to your car after a long day of classes to
Firstly, try to cut down on spending in general. Leave more time
a parking ticket is the worst. Pro tip: if you have an expired warrant or
between treats and save them for worthy occasions. If you got up before 10am, that is not a worthy occasion. Handing an assignment in before deadline, I personally feel, is. Go as long as physically possible
“...WITH THE TWO ORANGES I HAD LEFT
before cracking out the card. My best this semester so far is 2 days...
FROM THE DAY BEFORE, I MANAGED TO
You can do better than that. Leave your eftpos card at home. I did this accidentally and I thought my life was over. I ended up scrounging around under the seats of
SURVIVE UNTIL I GOT HOME AT 10PM TO STUFF MY FACE WITH HASH BROWNS.”
my car for coins and rustled up $5 – enough for a couple of pieces pulling a 9am-9pm day at uni so paired with the two oranges I had left
rego it’s ultra-important not to hang around in marked street parking.
from the day before, I managed to survive until I got home at 10pm
I failed my warrant two weeks ago (cry) and I’m taking pains to park
to stuff my face with hash browns.
and hike from Greensboro while I save for a new tyre.
Get up late, miss your morning class, and eat so much for “brunch”
So there we have it, your excuse-ridden spring-spending habits have
that you cannot physically eat again until 6pm. We’re not trying to
been devastated. I don’t want to hear about it, friend. Use you posi-
encourage unhealthy eating habits, but when your bank account is in
tive good-weather demeanour to encourage savvy saving, not ruin it.
the deep deep red, there are only so many options at hand. If you go
The sunshine is free and water is aplenty (for now) and that should
hundy on the oats or wholegrain toast and eat juuuust before leaving
be all ya need on campus, really.
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PHOTOGRAPH: ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS
of sushi, a slice from Momento, or some candy from UniMart. I was
nexus magazine
THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF GOOD FASHION FILMS A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson
Diana Vreeland the Eye Has to Travel. An impeccable documentary
Bill is refreshing in the way he doesn’t care about money or fame, he
about the legacy of one of fashion’s most influential people. A former
is fuelled by his intense desire for seeing the beautiful and creative
fashion editor of Harper’s Bazaar and editor-in-chief of Vogue, Diana
in the otherwise grey streets of Manhattan.
was like a cooling lotion on the pustular rash that was mainstream
The September Issue. A documentary revealing the hectic sched-
mid-century fashion.
ule of Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour and her team during the
Valentino: The Last Emperor. This film chronicles the final two years
preparation of the biggest Vogue issue of the year: the September
of Valentino Garavani and long-time partner Giancarlo Giammetti at
issue. This film made me fall in love with Vogue’s fashion editor Grace
the legendary fashion house, Valentino. The leathery Valentino comes
Coddington, also known as fashion’s favourite old cat lady.
off beautifully, he is a dreamer and a lover, though he is absolutely
The Devil Wears Prada. Anyone else notice how Anne Hathaway looks
shit at managing his finances, which thankfully is something the
like an ostrich? It’s totally cool, ostriches are like the divas of the
pragmatic Giancarlo is in charge of managing. I cried watching this
bird world.
film, which isn't saying much because I cry daily, but I totally cried
Dior and I. A film about Raf Simons’ first collection for the prestigious
harder than usual.
fashion house of Christian Dior. What you get most out of this film
Lagerfeld Confidential. Imagine getting a pimple. Now imagine, each
is not how remarkable Raf is (though he does have good taste), but
season another pimple grows on the aforementioned pimple. Now
how dedicated the Dior seamstresses and tailors in the atelier are.
imagine that the clusterfuck of pimples becomes so large that people
This movie opened my eyes to just how many people it takes to
start to mistake it for an artistic piece. That is Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel.
create a couture show.
Bill Cunningham New York. An unlikely fashion icon, dressed in a
Coco Before Chanel. Who was Coco Chanel before Chanel? Was she a writer? A model? A zygote? Was she me? Am I Coco Chanel? Find
pockets for his film), Bill is the pioneer of street style photography.
out in this gorgeously filmed... Film.
PHOTOGRAPH: MORGAHNA GODWIN
cheap blue smock meant for Parisian street cleaners (it has lots of
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WE ALL HAVE A VOTE Louise Vs The World Louise Hutt
I made two minute noodles from scratch today. I’ve finally become the alpha student we all dream of. Some miso, tomato paste, chilli and egg noodles as well as the probable cause of my impending doom- salt. It kinda worries me, the fact I have become so accustomed to living off food with minimal health qualities, but when your rent is $175 and Studylink gives you $190 a week, that’s just how stuff goes if I want to keep the power on. I can hear you lamenting yet another piece on student poverty, but this week we’re in a unique position to do something about it. In case you’ve been living under a rock, it’s election year. Caring about stuff is hard, and caring about politics is even harder, but ultimately it’s one of few chances to do something about the injustices we face. Not everyone is in a place
CLEANING YOUR MAKE UP BRUSHES
where they can work part-time while studying, not everyone has parents who can support them, but education is a basic human right and the unbelievable irony is that the people who are currently in government had no student loans at all.
Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady
“CARING ABOUT STUFF IS HARD, AND CARING ABOUT POLITICS IS Do you have a weekly brush cleaning routine? Or do you find
EVEN HARDER...”
yourself falling into the guilty crime of washing them a handful of times during the year? Getting into the habit of cleaning your make-up brushes will not only ensure your make-up stays hygienic but will also stop the transferring of bacteria back and forth every time you use your makeup brush. This can be a leading cause of breakouts. Wash your brushes with shampoo. Separate the hairs as you wash it in the palm of your hand before squeezing the excess moisture out, reshaping and lying flat or bristles down to dry. A conditioner on your natural bristle brushes every 4/5 washes will keep them in tidy condition. If you find that the product won’t shift from your brush try using a grease cutting shampoo and massaging it through to break it up. When washing your brushes mind you don’t get the ferrule wet. (The ferrule is the metal band around the end of your bristles.) Moisture can corrode the glue beneath it and cause your bristles to moult. Don't dry your brushes with a hair dryer as the heat settings may damage your bristles and cause them to frizz. Speed up the process by placing them in the hot water cupboard or in front of your heater on a towel. sweetpaintedladynz.com
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Researching which political party you should vote for can be exhausting and boring, but luckily for us NZUSA (New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations) has put together a chart showing where all the political parties stand on student issues, from government investment to jobs after study. You can view it at students.org.nz/resources. If you feel like you need more information before casting your vote, you can check out the Vote Compass (tvnz.co.nz/votecompass) or Ours (ours.co.nz/cheatsheet). The information is out there, lovingly put into infographics and spreadsheets, just waiting for you to absorb it. At the end of the day though, it basically boils down to empathy. Do you give a shit about other people? Yes or no. No one should be forced to go without the essentials in order to have an education, it’s that simple. We’re not all born with equal opportunities, but one thing we do all have is a vote. So go out and use it, figure out where you stand in the big pot of soup that is New Zealand Politics.
nexus magazine
Enrol now for Summer School. T Semester starts 10 November. T Semester runs for six weeks and is the perfect opportunity to catch up on your study, take a step ahead, or build on your strengths. The University of Waikato offers T Semester papers across a wide range of subjects – including online papers. Enrol now to make this summer count.
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SNAPPED
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nexus magazine
Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.
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Blind Dat�
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US, EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
XX
XY
THE LADY'S EXPERIENCE
THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE
5 minutes late I turned up to the bar, to be directed to my
Arriving just after 7, hoping to not be the first one there,
date for the night to then be offered an alcoholic beverage
I entered, expecting to see a fuck ugly girl sitting by her-
on arrival… I kindly accepted. I didn’t really know what to
self. Scanning the scenery with my peripherals, trying not
expect, as he turned around I then went in for the hug
to look too lost, (I was pretty fucking lost) Five minutes
and introduced myself. An awkward start to the night
later she shows up at the bar a few feet from our table,
you could say. We then started to ask the general ques-
“chur” I didn’t get stood up. I looked at her and instantly
tions about each other what we do etc, making small talk.
started rating her on the bro scale, long legs, ass like an
We then proceeded to order more drinks, as we both
onion and a rack concealed by a good old looking farmer
became more talkative…. Strategic of us both. We then
shirt. This girl had self-respect but a body like a stripper.
both ordered what seemed to be a much needed dinner,
Anyway, we covered so many topics, a bit awkward at first
he ordered chicken…. I ordered beef I then asked if he
as we didn’t know where to start so I tried to break the
would like to try some of my meal to then be informed he
ice with a pretty out there question, “would you be able to
only eats chicken. Then came the silence….
defecate on my chest??? I didn’t really get an exact “yes”,
I think he then felt bad about the rejection of the meat
just like a really disgusted look. But I knew she would be
as he forced a mouthful, looking unsure about what he
keen to do so if it came to it, especially when I found out
was eating.
a bit later she used to work at fire cats. About 10 minutes
Then became the end of the night which consisted of
later, a couple of high school acquaintances came. I could
quiet drinking games at our table and bystanders staring
instantly see the jealousy in their eyes as they introduced
as if we were interrupting their dinner. He then proceeded
themselves to this beautiful specimen. They over stayed
to tell me he doesn’t drink all too much, I couldn’t help
their welcome and I didn’t quite know how to tell them
myself but order what was the most alcoholic beverage
to fuck off apart from saying fuck off which had never
on the menu for the man, he loved it in fact it was gone
worked well for me in the past. They eventually left, and I
in seconds. After this we both got on exceptionally well,
thought the buzz was still alive but that’s when she stood
I suppose it wasn’t your average Tuesday night as we
up and said “my friend’s here”, we high fived and she left.
ordered tequila shots upon leaving, we knew from there
Fuck. My. Life.
we had a big night ahead of us.
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THE VOTING SERIES – EDUCATION MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC
— Our policy dissection continues in the lead up to the 2014 General Election. Education, the cost, and its availability continue to be a growing concern for many New Zealanders, in particular the 483,000 or so tertiary students currently studying here. That’s not even taking into consideration the large numbers of children attending primary and secondary schools, and very young children enrolled in early childhood education programmes. While NZ First has a list as long as your arm of policies surrounding the improvement of the education
FREE STUDENT LAW CLINIC
sector, Internet-Mana has only one paragraph making the same summation. To make tertiary education free, to get rid of parental income testing on student allowances, and ultimately eliminate the debt incurred by
AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN
New Zealanders through the necessity of extremely
—
high student loans and repayment schemes. The Labour Party make a promise that extra, but not
Every week this column presents to you some serious shit that your student support advocates are here to help you with. This week – the free Student Law Clinic.
HIGH STUDENT LOANS...”
excessive government funding will go towards the accessibility of education across-the-board, including
you aspiring lawyers judge which one of these following facts is false? #objection! •
The Student Law Clinic runs 11am – 1pm every Thursday here on campus.
•
It’s run in conjunction with Community Law Waikato which is a charitable trust providing free legal services to those who cannot afford a lawyer but don’t
fair representation of students on University Boards.
qualify for legal aid.
They will also restore the $13 million worth of funding cut by National from Adult and Community Education, hire 2000 more secondary school teachers,
•
involve them taking on the case and representing you.
and cut class sizes down. National states in its policies that it will invest $359m over four years to recognise excellent teachers and
•
to meet the specific education targets we have set to
•
which give you extra rights.
they need to reach their potential.” Not related directly to education, the Greens plan to
•
serious see a lawyer.
of classroom activity, but is more about the money a This is the kind of forward thinking that could change the lives of New Zealanders.
Contact: 0800 AT YWRC or ywrc@xtra.co.nz
Just about every problem has a legal aspect to it. Whether it’s buying or selling anything, signing a contract, working a job, or anything financial, if it gets
education providers. This doesn’t impact on the state school or university might spend on things like power.
The police, the government, the council, and the university are all public entities which mean that they have to follow laws. These are all public entities
ensure the education system gives children the skills
instate solar panels on the rooftops of NZ schools and
Former Master of Laws Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish was just appointed as the new Dean of Law School.
principals by introducing four new roles in schools, and that an elected National government will “stay on track
The advice you get from the law clinic is free, confidential, and can even
•
The later you leave a problem the harder it gets to solve. Legal problems never just disappear.
Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz
PHOTOGRAPH: CAM ROBINSON
“...THE NECESSITY OF EXTREMELY
Learn some fast facts about how to get free legal advice right here on campus. Can
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SHUT UP.
No one cares what you have to say. Disagree? We do. Join us to be loud and counted everyday 11 a.m. - 2 p.m.. Monday Wintec City Campus Gallagher Hub Tuesday Wintec Rotokauri Campus Hub Wednesday Village Green Thursday Garden Place Friday University Library
LOUD COUNT ED loudandcounted 40
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nexus magazine
RATATOUILLE Cooking for Students Zac Lyon
Now you all had better seen the movie Ratatouille, if not, hang your head in shame and walk to the nearest video store! I can’t say that this is where I got the recipe from, as googling of 'ratatouille recipe in ratatouille movie' doesn’t really yield too many results. But boy did that ratatouille the little mousey cooked look great, almost as good as those slugs and bugs Pumba and Timon ate... you know what I’m talking about! Ingredients 3 large courgettes (1 cm slices) 1 red capsicum 1 green capsicum 2 large eggplants (1 cm slices) 2 cans of tinned tomatoes 1 large red onion sliced 2 garlic cloves Thyme Rosemary Parsley Oregano Salt and pepper Directions 01_ Lay out eggplant slices on an oven tray, cover in oil and salt.
Grill both sides until golden.
02_ Cook each vegetable type separately, it will make the dish. 03_ Once all cooked combine all vegetables into a large pan and
add tinned tomatoes.
04_ Let it simmer for 20 mins. 05_ Serve with a crusty bread to soak up the juices.
Pigs can fly. Head to Cooking4Students on Youtube.
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Codewords
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.
KenKen
Sequence
The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the
What shape comes next?
upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target number” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)
Syllabic
1. Easily annoyed: 2. Opposite of literal meaning:
From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.
3. Person who is sick: 4. Break the continuity:
ble - del - fa - fac - fi - ge - gra - i - i - i - i - ic
5. Ethical principals:
- in - in - in - in - ir - lid - mo - nat - ny - ri - ri - ro - ron - rupt - ta - teg - ter - tor - tous - tu - ty - ty - va
6. Adultery: 7. Given without charge: 8. Apache Indian chief: 9. Zealous: Draw answer here.
10. Integer: Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,
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HARD
MEDUIM
column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.
EASY
Sudoku
nexus magazine
Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.
9 letter words roadshows 8 letter words roadshow 7 letter words combine combing 6 letter words hoards shadow swoosh swords wahoos 5 letter words dhows doors dross hoard hoars hoods horas ordos roads roods saros shoos shows soars sodas sword wahoo whoso woods words 4 letter words dhow door dosh doss hoar hods hood hora hows oars ohos oohs ordo rhos road rods rood rows shod shoo show soar soda sods sora sows whoa woad wood woos word
Crossword
Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.
Across
36. Vend (4)
74. Marine mammal (4)
6. Affirm (4)
38. Sport (4)
1. Planet (7)
39. Rotted (7)
75. Legal (5)
7. Expert (3)
40. Cheroot (5)
4. Type of bean (5)
41. Writer (6)
78. Flee (6)
8. Pills (7)
44. Strongroom (5)
7. Garret (5)
42. Lively dance (3)
80. Matured (4)
9. Desert plants (5)
45. Set apart (7)
10. Jelly (5)
43. Figured out (6)
81. Dressings (8)
10. Glue (8)
46. Talons (5)
13. Produce buds (9)
47. Avid (5)
86. Teller (7)
11. Golfing term (3)
48. Quantity of paper (4)
15. Adage (7)
49. Response (6)
88. Crackbrained (7)
12. Money (4)
50. Silken (5)
16. Company of
51. Handy (6)
90. Maze (9)
14. Hurrying (7)
53. Assignation (5)
supporters(7)
52. Flaw (5)
91. Frighten (5)
19. Vanquish (6)
54. Get (7)
17. Joined the military (8)
55. Overseas (6)
92. Bird of prey (5)
21. Small boat (5)
55. Recant (6)
73. Astounding (7)
18. Boundary (4)
56. Charge (3)
93. Craze (5)
22. Ennui (7)
58. Ceasefire (5)
76. Instructor (7)
20. Air-breathing arthropod(6)
57. Wildcat (6)
94. Endow (7)
23. Shouted (6)
60. Invalidate (5)
77. Kestrel (6)
24. Deport (5)
59. Affluent (7)
25. Foe (5)
61. Greek letter (4)
79. Spooky (5)
26. Close (4)
63. Joke (4)
Down
27. Main artery (5)
62. Zephyr (6)
82. Geological formation (5)
28. Muddled (8)
65. Chemistry jar (6)
1. Tycoon (7)
29. Song for two (4)
64. Cylindrical storage
83. Small fragment (5)
30. Meeting place (5)
66. False (6)
2. Merge (5)
31. Fought (7)
towers (5)
84. Performs (4)
32. Larger (6)
67. Child (6)
3. Young racehorse (8)
32. Emblem (5)
68. Public sale (7)
85. Molecule (4)
33. Embellished (6)
71. Mass meeting (5)
4. Professional cooks (5)
35. Concise and succinct(5)
69. Explosive (8)
87. Division of an ocean (3)
34. Strolled (6)
72. Non professionals (8)
5. Aped (6)
37. Paragon (5)
70. Qualified for (8)
89. Anger (3)
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A G . A DAVID BENNETT WORKING FOR HAMILTON EAST 3 3 3 3 3 3 3
$500 million upgrade of Waikato DHB campuses $2.4 billion for the Waikato Expressway Completing Hamilton Internal Ring Route Road with half NZTA subsidy New Junior and Senior High Schools for Rototuna-Flagstaff zone New Primary School at Endeavour Ave Extension of the University of Waikato into the Bay of Plenty Hamilton as a leading city in rollout of Ultra-Fast Fibre broadband services
Contact David: 510 Grey St, Hamilton East | PO Box 4183, Hamilton East, 3216 P: 07 834 3407 | E: david.bennett@national.org.nz www.davidbennett.co.nz
Authorised by D Bennett, 510 Grey St, Hamilton East
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A G . A
A
G . A × M . A × G . M A . G . A . × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M . M . G . G A × M . A × G . M A . G . A . × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M . M . G . G A × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M M . . G G . . A A × A ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING
WEDNESDAY 24TH SEPTEMBER 1PM IN L.G.01 Business to be conducted includes: •
Presentation of the annual report
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Presentation of the audited accounts
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Presentation of the annual plan and budget
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Approval of membership fees and directors honoraria
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Appointment of the auditor and the solicitor
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Ratification of the ballot carried out at the recent SGM